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259 – 24-hours. Is a long time.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 259 – 24-hours. Is a long time.

In chastity. Alone. As my Sir is away from home, i am locked up. i don’t have self control. Not enough anyway. i have a propensity to play with myself, without permission when left to my own devices. But not this time.

David left this morning and is home tomorrow morning. As i dressed this morning, the belt went on. And he hid the key somewhere in our house. i can ask for it if i truly need it, and i suppose i might could possibly find it if i looked. But. i won’t. i won’t ask or search on my own. Because i can do this. i am strong enough to endure.

i need to do this.

i need to prove i can follow orders.

i need to prove i can be strong.

i can be a good girl.

As David left, he kissed me, said how much he loved me, and then said, “Tryyyy to be a good girl.”

i laughed. i rolled my eyes. i said, “it’s a bit difficult to be bad when i am locked up Sir.” i am saying “Sir” a wholeeee lot now!

He smiled and said, “I’m sure you could find a way of you wanted to. But I’m sure you don’t. Correct?”

“Correct Sir.”

So how how did it go anyway?! Glad you asked….

6:15 a.m.

i went to David and as i was naked, i stood in front of him and spread my legs. And then i said, “it’s nearly time to lock up. Do you want to touch her before you leave?”

He looked at my puss and said, “nope! Sure don’t! Be sure to bring me the keys.”

Well, i wanted to pout. And beg. But i didn’t. Thankfully! Instead, i was a good girl and went to shower, dress, and lock up. Tight. Even though he hasn’t touched her in 2-full days now, i was determined to be good.

7:00 am

While tucked snuggly into place under her belt, i grabbed the lock and snapped it in place. With that, i handed David the key. He smiled and thanked me for being a good girl and asked if i am ready for this. i responded truthfully, “yes…and no…Sir.” Gotta get the “Sir” in there now too!

He then said, “go wait for me in the car.” He was hiding the key from my sight.

And i drove him to the airport. We talked about mundane things. Anything BUT the steel between my legs!

Meanwhile ALL i could think about is the next 24-hours…. How will i make this happen? If i ask for the key early, will that be disappointing for me or him or both?! The belt is already a bit chafing… maybe it’s just not positioned correctly… or maybe I just haven’t settled into the feeling of it yet…. So seriously, how will i make it 24-full hours like this…. how i wanted to rip the belt off and be a normal person. i know i am NOT normal. Is that a bad thing though?!

After dropping him at the airport, i drove to my office. As i drove, all these wild thoughts were in my head about this belt. That’s when my free hand wandered down into my pants. i knew i couldn’t touch myself for real but i had a desire to touch the metal with my bare hand. i wanted to touch it and see just how “real” this 24-hours of restricted access feels like.

And i worked to reposition it to a less chafing position. It didn’t move though, at least not much anyway. It’s not supposed to really. That’s the whole point. Restricted access means it won’t move from the full coverage it provides!

Then i pressed straight onto the plate itself. i wanted to know more about how my pussy would feel inside the plate if it felt pressed from the outside. No, i hadn’t really done that when i have worn it previously.

In times before, i respected (or feared) the belt enough too much to even try to see if i could get a stimulant from the outside. But this time is different. This time feels more like an intimate and close friend. And as close as we are, i need to know your friendliness meter. This time i am wearing this for a full 24-hours and i wanted to know if i could stimulate (okay, fine …call it what it is, “masturbate”) myself at all, and of so, how would it feel.

This was a no-go. While i could feel pressure on the outer edges of the plate, where the edge of the belt meets my thighs, it was nowhere near my pussy opening or clit! They felt absolutely zero. Nothing. Nada. As far as my pussy was concerned, there wasn’t anything but darkness in her world! She saw no light, heard no sound, and felt no pressure.

i couldn’t decide if i was pleased about this or not. But i did accept chastity willingly, heck i asked for it! So i suppose in the sense this is exactly what I need and asked for… i like it. It’s effective! And the belt may be close and intimate, but she has zero desire to be my friend.

8:00 a.m.

i arrive at work after a bit. i wonder if anyone can tell i am different today. i know they can’t see anything through my clothes as the belt is fully covered and inconspicuous. But can they see the difference in my demeanor? No, i am sure they can’t see that either, to which i am really kinda disappointed actually! i feel different, so shouldn’t they see how different i am? No, they don’t notice.

But let’s face it, people are always preoccupied to notice things like a chastity belt on their coworker which is causing her to talk, walk, and act just a bit differently today. Of course, i couldn’t tell you anything about any of them either. Why? Because i was too preoccupied trying to look normal and to see if they notice i am not acting normal. There’s the word “normal” again.

In fact, i am really rather distracted at work. i am comfortable in my chair with the belt on, but will it stay that comfortable when i stand up? Maybe i should practice doing that (standing and sitting) now so if i have to do it later in front of someone else, i will know if it will make noise at the wrong time, or squeeze my labia to painful moments, or something else i haven’t even thought of too.

Never mind… i have to focus and get work done already!

10:00 a.m.

i am quite thankful i have very few scheduled meetings today. i can hide out in my office and be less conspicuous. At least i hope that’s what happens.

But i have to pee. Oh here we go!

10:30 a.m.

Oh geez. i really have to use the bathroom now. i have held it in for 30-minutes but that’s the best i can do. i have to do this. In the belt. Okay, here we go.

There are holes in the belt shield for this purpose, but it feels so humiliating. It feels like i am peeing in my clothes, like a little kid or something. All of which is weird, so i have to truly concentrate on relaxing my muscles and just let it flow.

And when it does, while it ends up where it should in the toilet, it’s not a single stream but a spread out all over stream. Causing a bit of a question if there’s still urine trapped between my labia folds and the belt.

So now i have to wipe. As good as possibly can be done anyway. And i wipe some more. And for good measure, I wipe more. i hold the belt out as far as possible with one hand, suck in my gut, and try to press paper in there to soak up the urine. i think urine is gross anyway, so i want to be as clean and dry as possible, which takes a lot of effort!

Okay, that accomplished, won’t lie.. that was worse in my head than in reality. So, back to work now.

11:30 a.m.

Time for lunch. Together with 4-coworkers, we go out to a Mexican restaurant together. While I could care less about the strangers, i worry if may coworkers can hear the metal plate clanging around as i walk. i wonder if getting in and out of their car together will be the obvious defining moment to give away the fact that i am different today. i watch their moves to see if they hear it, tune in to it, or wonder why it’s coming from my torso! Nothing.

This is all good, right?

12:30 p.m.

Back at the office and back at my desk. And seriously, time to be normal and just get some work done already!

But i feel like i want to tell someone about my belt. i want someone to see. i want to see the shock on their face and me giggle at it. But that’s not normal. i wouldn’t show my coworkers my underwear, so why would i show them this steel belt?!

Because now David’s plane has landed, i decide to tell David about this “desire” to show off. The response i got back was, “hmm.” Not what i was expecting really. i thought he would chastise me (get that pun there!? Lol) for wanting to show off my chastity belt! No matter, the “hmm” was likely all i really needed, and he didn’t have to rub it in. i knew that was ultimately what he thought!

1:30 p.m.

Now i am finally into a groove for work productivity. i have accomplished some things and need to keep going.

The belt isn’t chafing at all now. i wonder if my earlier thoughts of the chafing were just my body needing to settle into the feelings of being pressed upon by the metal.

If the rest of the afternoon continues like this, i will definitely get all the way to tomorrow morning without having to ask for the key! i won’t disappoint Sir or myself! Now i am hopeful. And determined too.

2:30 p.m.

Oh here we go back to the bathroom again. Alright, i can do this. i already did it once today, not to mention it had done it in the belt before too.

No idea why i am such a head case about this. This time, i even go to another floor in my building. i noticed the lock made some noise as i pulled my pants down last time. If a coworker is in the bathroom at the same time, they would notice it and it’s a 2-person stall bathroom. They would know it was coming from me.

Suddenly it occurs to me that I have gone from wanting them to notice, to wanting to show it off, to now not wanting anyone to know at all.

Them NOT knowing is really the right answer.

On the other floor and in the bathroom, this time it went even easier than last time. Practice makes perfect. Do i want to be perfect at this? To be perfect means i am doing this a lot, meaning i am wearing the belt a lot. Yes, i want this! This is good for me!

3:30 p.m.

Never even saw the clock in this hour. That’s a good thing.

This belt has become my new-normal. And that’s a good thing too!

4:30 p.m.

Another easy and productive hour! Yah. i got this.

i am confident now i can make it to tomorrow. i see nothing standing in my way. i AM A CHASTITY GIRL!

But i am not even officially to 12-hours yet and a lot of time still in front of me!

5:30 p.m.

Time to go to a fast dinner with my sister. i know she won’t notice or see my belt in any way. i have gotten used to standing, walking, sitting in it now. And i am accepting of it as i have figured out how to manage with it physically and mentally too, so there’s no chance of me acting weird either.

It was a pleasant meal. We talked about mundane things, which is how it should be.

6:30 p.m.

It is Wednesday. Every good (Southern Baptist) girl goes to church on Wednesday night for an hour of bible study and to commune with like-minded people.

i am in a bible study that just kicked off last week. But not only am i in it, i lead it. i am standing in the front of the “class” for ladies bible study, while walking around, with them sitting down.

Their eyes are level with my crotch. i wonder if anyone has laser beam vision to see straight through my pants to the metal i am wearing. But that would be a super hero move, and while still pretty awesome, no one in this room is a super hero, at least that i know of anyway.

Maybe i am a super hero, with my own plate shield to protect me from all kinds of evil, real or perceived. My most intimate part is under full protection. From what? From myself. And everyone else too!

7:30 p.m.

i drive home. After getting home, i text David to let him know i am home and thinking of him. And i get naked.

i exchange some banter with Sir by saying, “maybe i need to have the key now to unlock this belt and be fully naked now.”

He responds with, “not a chance! You can ask, but you won’t get it. You are as naked now as you are going to get.”

“But then what if i need the key?! How would you know how desperately i need it?”

“You won’t.”

“But how will you know that Sir?” (forgot the “Sir” with previous texts. Not sure if he noticed! Hope not for my sake.)

“Because you made it this far without asking. Besides you are just stubborn enough that you won’t ask.”

“You are probably correct Sir.”

“Probably???”

“Ok, i know you are correct, but i don’t want to admit i am that stubborn.”

“Hmm”. (That little word is really multipurpose.)

8:30 p.m.

As i was doing little things around the house like picking up/cleaning, watching tv, playing ball with the dog, i opened a drawer to put something away.

There lays the key.

To my belt.

Right there.

Do i tell David i found it? He will think i went looking for it. But i can explain. But i didn’t do anything wrong to need to report ether. Does it matter that i found it if i don’t touch it, and definitely not use it?

Just shut the drawer and pretend i never saw it.

But i can’t unsee it.

Besides, i am getting tired of this belt now too. It’s not so friendly at all anymore, not that it was any too friend,y from the start anyway! But now the excitement of it has definitely worn off. i could escape and sleep well and no one would have to know.

But i would know.

Just shut the drawer and walk away!

9:00 p.m.

Time to use the bathroom again. Damn bladder.

i can just go get the key, unlock myself, use the toilet, and relock back. That would make the bathroom experience so much easier and better. And i could ensure a good wipe. That would help me sleep better, knowing i am clean under this belt.

But it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Forget about the key already!

Damn key.

i am a good girl. i am a good girl. Keep telling myself that.

And i am. And i did. And i left the key in its place and used the bathroom in the belt.

Damn belt.

10:00 p.m.

“Go lay down and read. Or write in the blog. Or play a stupid game on your iPad. Hell, go to sleep. But forget about that damn key!”

“You are nearly to the morning. All you have to do now is sleep. And be a good girl.” is what i told myself.

And that’s what i did.

i put a pillow between my legs as i always do, to help give me a straight back as i lay on my side (per chiropractor, this is helpful and i am now used to it.)

It feels good between my legs. i want to masturbate. Maybe if i hump the pillow a little it will help.

Damn pillow.

Humping it does nothing good. In fact, it probably made it worse as the frustration is no seriously amped up to a higher notch!

Now i just need to orgasm that much more, without any ability to do anything about it. No orgasm for me.

Damn key.

i am a good girl, i am a good girl, I AM A GOOD GIRL!!!

Turn over and go to sleep already! And i did.

Seriously… i AM a good girl, despite the damn key!

5:30 a.m.

i slept really good. i don’t remember waking up one time, turning over, dreaming, nothing. i feel quite relaxed now.

And only about 2’ish more hours and my Sir will be home and the belt will come off.

i even use the restroom without even thinking twice. AND without being unlocked. Who cares about the damn key, because I AM A GOOD GIRL!

6:30 a.m.

He has landed. He’s taking an Uber home.

Woo hoo! Can’t wait to see him. Oh how i miss him when he’s gone. While i have been hyper focused on the belt, i have an even more interest in seeing him, my Sir!

7:30 a.m.

He’s home! i greet him with the biggest smile and kiss. Naked. Except of course, for the belt.

He says, “Wow. I love this greeting! This is wonderful. Is this for spending 24-hours all locked up??”

“i am just happy to see you Sir.”

“I can tell. But I have been gone for 24-hours before and never gotten this wonderful of a welcome home. I think it’s the belt that’s done this.”

“i won’t lie Sir, it has made me focus the last 24-(plus) hours. It is incredibly effective.”

“I should say so. Make no mistake, we will be using it more now that I witness it’s effects on your demeanor.” (Someone noticed the change in me. Just not my co-workers. And that’s ok, as the only person i truly care to notice is my Sir!)

“Good thing the fitted belt is coming soon Sir. It will probably be more effective than this one.”

“Perfect. I’m so proud of you for being obedient and wearing this belt for the duration. I wasn’t sure you would or could. But now it’s time to get you out of this and give you the reward you’ve earned!”

Yippie for me!

i am now off here… and out of the belt …and getting to orgasm in a big way! i wonder how soon it is until Sir has another out-of-town trip!?

Hugs,

Marie

256 – Friday – my New (Old) Normal

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 256 – Friday – my New (Old) Normal

This week is mostly done. And so far, i have held myself together … mostly. Okay, kinda sorta.

And so far, i have escaped a spanking. Mostly. Unless you count Maintenance Friday, then i definitely did NOT escape a spanking. (It hurt! It needed to. i truly needed it to. i was much happier afterward. Helped to screw my head on straight!)

But before this morning…. My emotions have been ALL over the place. i’ve been extremely happy for our son, extremely sad for me, and incredibly angry and annoyed with David.

But then also incredibly in love and happy with David too.

David has made me very well aware that i am NOT using the word Sir enough. He’s made me aware that i am “only a submissive when (i) want to be!” And he’s allowed me to be emotional. He’s allowed me to be a Mom who is sad and NOT the best submissive wife i desire to be.

But then he reminded me of the commitment I made to be submissive by spanking me today. On this Friday. We resumed Maintenance.

This week, another submissive blogger than i follow (and admire) blogged about respect. It stuck. She wrote some good stuff and it made me start thinking about how DISrespectful i have been this week.

She mentioned that the #1 thing men seek in a wife is one who shows respect to him. And related, the man wants her to show appreciation for him too. i did a google search and found a LOT of support for what she wrote. It may inspire me to write more about respect another day. But for now…. It reminded me today that i need to be more respectful.

i need to adopt and accept my new normal. And that new normal is more respectful, appreciative, and responsive to David! i mean, he is my #1! If it weren’t for him, i wouldn’t have a son at all to be happy or sad about!

In this new normal, i was spanked this Friday morning. Okay, so that’s the old normal too, but it was good to have a reminder that i need to: 1) respect for the way we do things is still the right way, 2) respect for David as the man of my life, and 3) my Son is in his place living his best life.

And that spanking is my grounder. i am spanked because i need it. i am a better woman, wife, and mother after i show respect by saying Sir, loving my husband, and ….

Getting naked in my living room every night now too. Yep, that’s part of my new normal too!

There’s good AND bad when things change. But accepting and even embracing the new normal is the way forward. In the nude. In my living room, with David staring at my boobs, touching my clit, and denying me the orgasm i seek.

i love it! My new and old normal!

Hugs,

Marie

242 – Hair or no hair, that was the question!?!

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 242 – Hair or no hair, that was the question!?!

In a recent post, i told you about how after our separation (for vacation) our D/s dynamic seems to (thankfully!) be running smoothly once more.

i also told you about how i ASSUMED Sir was joking when he made an offhand comment to “leave the hair.” The pubic hair that i didn’t shave at all when i was on vacation. The hair that had grown to a “long stubble” stage. It wasn’t terribly long, but certainly longer than it had been in a LOT of years too!

The same pubic hair that i immediately shaved off upon my return home. The same hair that washed down the drain, that just as i was out of the shower, David saw. After seeing his clean pussy he asked me, “Did you really just ignore me?”

And i was in shock. i made the assumption he was just joking. i made an ass out of me, but definitely not out of him. His directive was extremely clear, and i clearly didn’t listen or obey.

But i haven’t had even that much (long stubble) hair between my legs in probably about 10-years now. i couldn’t tell you what natural color it is, if it’s thick or thin, if it’s curly or not, because it’s been THAT long since i have seen it! So i just assumed he truly was just joking.

i honestly don’t remember when i started taking the hair off, via waxing, but it’s been a longggggg time. After i got tired of “the process” of waxing, including making appointments, spending money, opening my legs to a stranger (who wasn’t going to be fucking me)….. i wondered if shaving would be better.

The thing about waxing is that it gets me baby-bottom smooth, that lasts for about a week. Then the stubble starts and grows for another week. Then it’s finally long enough for the wax to attach and pull it out in about another week (or two). A total of a 4-week process, where really only one week is good and the rest are not.

Comparing that to shaving…..

A shave is close, but not as close as waxing, so not completely as smooth as the waxing. And it only lasts for 1-3 days, when the stubble starts to grow back in. But shaving in the shower is already happening with the legs, so it’s not too much more of an effort to just keep on going right up and over the puss too! This keeps it cleaner every day but not quite as good as the first few days of the waxing either.

So probably about 5’ish years ago, i asked David his opinion and preference. He told me he loves his pussy to be clean and smooth, but preferred the shave over the wax as it was more clean for more days than the waxing, and of course, a lot cheaper too.

**In February 2020, David approved for me to start doing the laser hair removal. i started it at that time and was about 3-sessions in when Covid hit. Ugh! And i just haven’t gone back now. Maybe i should reconsider doing that again too.

Anyhoo… in my last post i mentioned the predicament i found myself in… to ask or not to ask was the first and biggest question, but if i didn’t ask, do i you assume the recent “leave the hair” directive is still applicable, or do i assume the standing directive to shave it all off is back in effect?

So this morning, i decided that before i went any further and before i showered (and shaved) the best course of action was to NOT assume anymore and to simply just ask!

Communication is always the key to any relationship…. Friends, co-workers, family, and in a D/s marriage for sure…. including this particular situation too!

His response was simple. He said, “I haven’t decided yet.”

While that answer is quite straightforward, the resulting action for me isln’t quite so straightforward.

i took that to mean, “do nothing until I give you further instructions….” So i did not shave this morning.

He is preparing to go to the airport to fly out for a few days for work. i suspect he will not think about hair or no hair in his absence. Sooooo in some ways, his lack of decision is a decision!

Because i will not shave again until directed to!

i may enjoy seeing all the pubic hair come in…. Or …. i may well be repulsed by it! As he may also!

Maybe he will use the hair to his advantage …. i am bad, need to be punished, he says lay down on my back and spread my legs, and uses a tweezers to pull them out. (Tweezers to pull hair hurts! They sometimes missed hairs with the waxings and finished the process with the tweezers. So i know first hand it hurts!)

i doubt all that though. If i were to guess, the hair will come in to a longgggg stubble in another week or two, start to be just entirely tooooo bushy, and he will give the directive to shave it off.

Time will tell. But what i know for sure is that i won’t be assuming anything he says is a joke or sarcasm again.

While ultimately this was a “little thing,” in and of itself, i learned a lesson this week that my husband truly is in charge, his words are meaningful, and this time…. It’s all him and not me.

As i also told you recently, i gave up on this D/s type of relationship and decided to wait for David to decide if it was right for him. Now i know for sure, it’s HIM and not me, this time. This time, things are different and it’s a good different!

By calling me out on something like this, that previously he wouldn’t have probably (much) cared about, is such great progress forward. This is exactly what i have prayed and waited for and now i know that our D/s relationship truly is in fact on track to be better than ever!!

Now i truly am becoming the best submissive wife i can be, where my only real job is to listen and obey… every time. And i love that position i find myself in! And the overwhelming positive flood of emotions i feel from it!

Hair or no hair, my world couldn’t be better …. Except, of course, the fact that i did orgasm without permission. And after 24-hours of lying in my guilt, i decided to own it and told David. Unfortunately i waited a full 24-hrs to own it, AND i also owned it when he was about 1,000 miles away from home for another 2-days too.

His response was but a single word…. A “hmm.” (Is that even a word?!)

When David gets home, i may be regretting that decision (to orgasm without permission) …. but i will NEVER regret becoming his submissive wife!

Hugs,

Marie

233 – i prayed for patience

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 233 – i prayed for patience

Quite a long time ago….. like nearly 20-years ago now, i prayed to God to teach me patience. After about a year of enduring situations that demanded patience, i heard myself begging God to let me take back that same prayer… “Yeah, God… uhm… can we forget we had this little talk, shall we?”

i hated it! The only way to learn patience is to experience it….. to be patient. And wait.

To this day, i do not think God forgot. i think He merely laughed. And He put me into other various situations to continue to test my endurance… and patience.

Patience often means self control, which also means self discipline. i don’t mean self discipline as in self inflicted spankings, but rather more like controlling myself to avoid getting into a situation needing physical discipline at all.

Self discipline and self control are very much related and/or the same thing, but so is patience really. We all must learn these virtues throughout life. It’s what keeps us out of trouble.

So all of this can be hard under normal circumstances but add to it a D/s dynamic and it [being patience!] becomes very nearly required and yet… sometimes impossible.

i find myself having to exert a LOT of patience these days as i wait on David to decide if/when he wants to be in an (active) D/s relationship…. And let me tell you, it is pure torture.

But today i see it is already starting to payoff. i know what you are thinking…. “It’s just been a few days!”

But that’s because i only just told you about it. i just didn’t have the courage to tell you. Or maybe it was more like, i didn’t want to admit it… even to myself!

We started not (actively) living this lifestyle just after Christmas. It wasn’t a particular day or time that we decided to stop but rather the D/s activities just started to fade away over time.

So i have been praying and waiting and enduring …. And practiced building PATIENCE…

Today, i saw a small change. But it felt huge!

David & i were at an event with several friends. David made a comment to one of the friends where he spoke about something and i was quick to correct him. i didn’t mean to snap, but i had information that he didn’t and i blurted it out, effectively making him look (and probably feel) inadequate.

He looked sternly at me where in a hushed voice which was clearly audible for only my ears, he said, “you don’t need to be so snarky!”

i just responded with, “Yes. i agree.”

And i stopped.

Later in the day, hours after the event concluded, out of the blue he texted, “I noticed you listened.”

i knew what he was referring to immediately and i smiled. He noticed! i texted back, “as i mentioned, i intent to be the best submissive wife i can be. If you choose to enforce it, i would love that. But i know it needs to be your decision too.”

A minute later, i saw the tell tale blinking …. The Dots….. he was texting back….

And i waited more…. Exercising more patience!

That’s when his message came through and it said, “I likely will.”

And i feel confident, he will. Just can’t wait til he does…..

Ok.

i know.

i have to.

Wait.

BE PATIENT!

Hugs,

Marie

230 – Sir. SIR. SIR! And….. S-I-R!

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 230 – Sir. SIR. SIR! And….. S-I-R!

Sometimes rules must be tailored to be a good fit for our relationship. Sometimes the fit is just perfect, but needs to be refreshed.

Saying “Sir” is one of those things for us! It is absolutely something that fits, but it is in need of refreshment.

Yet, somehow, over the years i have not always said it, nor has David always expected it. Or maybe he has always expected it, but never enforced it. i’m not entirely sure which.

Let me go back a minute and remind you (and myself) why i say Sir at all anyway…..

When i decided to look up the word’s definition, i found this:

Do you see the first sentence there? Used as a “respectful way of addressing a man, especially one in a position of authority.”

Sir is a term used a fair bit in the bdsm and d/s lifestyles and is used to refer to one’s dominant. The term is used to reference the power exchange, or imbalance as some would say, and it is there as well to denote a level of respect.

David is absolutely in a position of authority in my life. And he has every bit of power in our relationship. As well, i have said before there are times where i need to have a physical or tangible reminder of my submission (and his dominance). When i speak the word “Sir” it is a verbal word that also serves as a reminder for myself. So it seems that the word SIR is applicable in every way!

Me saying Sir has not been a new thing for us either. Saying Sir has been a thing for a longggggg time now. It was one of the first things we negotiated and one of the first things i ever wrote about.

Unfortunately though, when something isn’t spoken aloud (or enforced), it’s hard to know if the other even cares about it. And if it doesn’t seem important, pretty soon the habit is dropped. And pretty soon after that, it becomes a non-event altogether. i’d say this is true of anything in life really.

Anytime something isn’t practiced, it’s forgotten, which is pretty much the source of the phrase “use it or lose it.” You could pretty much say i lost it…. The muscle memory to say “Sir” has not been too much of a thing for us as of late.

Oh i have said it. Just not frequently. i have said it when i felt like it, but i wouldn’t say it was altogether frequently either. i have used it more like a treat or an extra special event. He hasn’t brought attention to its use or rather i should say lack of it’s use is more like it!

But that is changing now. The last couple of days, he has absolutely let me know in a passive-aggressive way but meant to make an impression all the same too, that saying SIR is something i should be doing far more than ithat have been.

Like today, he asked me a question and i just said, “no”. To which he said, “No….. what?!” and of course i knew he wanted the “Sir” and i spoke it aloud immediately.

And yesterday after i thanked him for helping me with something, he said, “want to say that properly?”

So i said, “thank you Sir.”

While he hasn’t exactly said that what i say (without Sir) was wrong, through that passive-aggressive way he’s now used, i know he thinks it is an incomplete response too.

The opposite has been true though too. When i get it right (and use the word Sir), he has made no comment about it, doesn’t praise it, or otherwise really make mention of it.

i think that’s because it is expected. Like anything expected, it doesn’t give rise to an occasion worthy of mention. For example, taking a shower or getting dressed or going to work or cooking dinner. Those are all normal activities. Those activities aren’t things that are specifically talked about or praised. Can you imagine saying, “oh good girl! You went to work today!” ? Uhm… no.

Using the same thought process, Sir has not said anything like, “oh wonderful Marie, you used the word Sir.” it just hasn’t been talked about.

Unfortunately i mistakenly assumed his lack of discussion about it as indication that it did not matter to him. Of course, his lack of punishment for NOT using it seemed to also give indication that he didn’t care about its use either. But again, i mistakenly assumed he did not care.

Today though, when he corrected me, i decided to ask about it. i told him much of what I have said here. i specifically said that i didn’t think he cared (anymore) about it as he hadn’t said anything about it until (of course) the most recent days.

To which he responded with one sentence, “The next time I have to correct you, your butt will feel it.”

“Yes SIR. Understood SIR.”

So while it may have been along time ago now that he first told me to use it, the applicability is still very much appropriate!

And because I never took exception to it in the first place, but rather simply grew lazy about it, i will use it frequently again as i have NO desire to feel the cane anytime too soon… or even later!

Of course, easier said than done. As even this first day has moved onward, David asked me to help in the kitchen and i said, “ok” and forgot the word S-I-R. i am fairly sure he didn’t hear me respond though, so i was “safe” for now. But i really have to stay in the moment for awhile and be intentional about this… at least until it becomes a regular thing again and the muscle memory is committed to memory again!

Hugs,

Marie