Tag: obey

237 – Pretty in Pink.

Written by Marie on June 18, 2022. Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 237 – Pretty in Pink.

i told you about how David approved a new chastity belt to be bought. Well, i was planning to buy a $$$$ value, custom-built chastity belt but when it came to pressing the button to “submit” the order, i chickened out. (Catch the play on words… i submit to David, but not submit the order online?! Lol)

i started thinking about allllll the what-IF’s. What if it doesn’t fit right, what if this is a “phase,” what if i am allergic to the metal it’s made with, what if someone discovers my belt … how do i explain this…. Why am i crazy to want this..…. What if…. WHAT IF….. Anddddd what IF…..

And after the what-ifs became so many, i decided to instead order a cheaper $$$, but new, Chinese version. i told David i wanted to try to wear it more frequently and not just as a cute, sexy play toy or as a punishment. But rather, a regular occurrence with the purpose of limiting my own access to my own pussy to keep me more ready for him and to ensure i don’t have orgasms without permission.

While David doesn’t think a belt should be necessary and he thinks the chastity belt looks “really uncomfortable,” he does agree that i have zero self control.

Ever since ordering it (the cheaper version belt), i have been daydreaming nonstop about having it on. i have thought, “i wonder what it will be like i do this (whatever “this” is!) while belted.” And, “i wonder if David will want to be my key holder. i hope he takes the keys and does not give me the opportunity to just get out of it just anytime i want.”

And in the midst of all my thoughts…. it arrived.

The Chinese versions come disassembled and are quite adjustable. (i am not sure how the $$$$ custom-fit ones would arrive.). It’s great, as i don’t need to worry about whether i measured and ordered the exact-right-size. Giving me yet another opportunity to determine what the true, correct measurements for the really nice, $$$$ quite pricey, and quite-specifically-fitted belt should be.

It has taken me two days to get it set to where i think it’s the right fit. It was no easy feat! i wonder how many people would just give up!

But today…. It went on.

It is 8:40 pm as i write this. Been locked up for 30-minutes. i have no idea how long it will stay on.

It fits so snug. i can’t really reach my clit at all. Yes, i already tried. i had to know. But that’s the point, right?!?

i walked out of the bedroom with it on. Nothing else.

David was like, “oh wow! My wife is all locked up and looking so sexy!”

And he held his hand out. i was like, “what?”

He looked at me like i was the dumbest thing on the planet, rolls his eyes, and says, “keys??”

“Oh. Yeah. That.”

He smiled and said, “uh… yes. That. They belong to me.”

So i went and got them. Dropped them in his hand. And he smiled.

(That answered one question about whether he would be the key holder!).

He asked, “comfortable?”

i answered honestly with, “so far. But it’s only been a few minutes.”

He said, “we will see if you think it’s still comfortable next week.”

i admit… i am not entirely sure if he is thinking i will not come out of the chastity belt for an entire week or maybe i will be wearing it a lot, but not non-stop, and maybe by next week the shiny new toy isn’t so shiny then. i hope it is the latter. In fact, i am quite sure i won’t be able to put it on, and never have it come off (for a week straight), that quickly or easily.

My ultimate goal is to be locked up as long as David wants, without reason to take it off. To be more specific, i hope we get to the place where i am locked up anytime i am away from David (like work, grocery store, girl’s night out, etc – so neither i nor anyone else being able to touch me) and when David goes to sleep (to keep me from playing with myself at night).

So i wonder if the belt will come off tonight yet…. Small trial. Or will it stay on overnight… longer trial.

The belt is comfortable, fits quote snuggly, but does not hurt one bit. At least right now anyway. While it may start hurting at some point, its not supposed to hurt, if it’s fitted correctly anyway. Its supposed to fit tight enough to stop sex and/or masturbation. In my case, perhaps both but especially masturbation. So having a longer trial already so soon is really A-OK by me.

As we start to get ready for bed now, he announced he has hidden the keys. He continued by saying if i want them back or to have the lock opened, i have to ask nicely.

So i asked if i can have the keys to take it off for the night, and he smiled and said, “nope! You can sleep in it tonight.”

And now we are talking about ordinary things like whether the doors are locked, how our day went, what book we are each reading, about him having sinus congestion and that he has taken Tylenol PM… and will be asleep soon.

i will admit… i should’ve asked for an orgasm before getting locked in. As that’s now all that i have thought about for many minutes here tonight too!

i won’t lie though … i am happy. i wanted this. And i think it will be good for me. i know this will save me for David. It will make me be quite patient, submissive and receptive to David’s mood and needs. That’s the part i most look forward to.

And if this trial with the cheap $$$ belt goes well, i will indeed order the permanent $$$$ belt with glee.

We shall see if i agree with all these same sentiments by this time next week! Of course, all it takes is a little discipline…and my ability to O-B-E-Y!!

Hugs,

Marie

35 – Moment of truth

Written by Marie on August 3, 2019. Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 35 – Moment of truth

If you read my last post, it ended with me headed to bed with a plug in the butt. While i’ve worn them before, many times for many hours, i haven’t done it overnight. And i wasn’t too sure i could do it.

And i was right. i went to lay down at 10:00. i read in my book (ebook.. does anyone read paper books anymore at all??) for about 30-minutes, while being distracted the entire time and not able to really relax or get comfortable.

Wearing a butt plug while standing upright is a significantly different feeling than laying flat on a bed, on your back, on your side, or on your tummy. Ok, i take that back… not on the tummy. i’ve been in that position before… i mean anyone doing ass play has had “something” in that hole while on the tummy. (Wink, wink!)

But i digress. So… i put the tablet down and proceeded to try to ignore this butt plug and go to sleep. And the more i tried, the less it seemed to be working.

At midnight, i took melatonin. At 1, i took another. At 2, i gave up. i took it out.

Got in bed and within 10-minutes was sound asleep.

When i awoke, i dressed and went to work before David was even awake. (He slept in, i wasn’t avoiding him!). And about 30-minutes later, i got a text. It read, “well?”

Moment of truth.

At this point, i KNEW i could lie and say “oh yeah, it stayed in.” Or, i could have said, “no, it slipped out while i was sleeping.” Either way, he would have never known.

i mean really, he literally would N-E-V-E-R know ….. unless i tell him.

What would you have said??

Hugs,

Marie

18 – Red Beans and Rice.

Written by Marie on October 7, 2018. Posted in Punishment, Submission. 8 Comments on 18 – Red Beans and Rice.

LONG post – sorry, but hopefully you will understand…. and read through anyway. 🙂

So today was NOT my best day. And Sir is requiring a blog posting about it “now”. So here i am, being vulnerable, and telling you how my day has gone.

USEFUL STORY FACTS.

Let me tell you about how my day started…

#1 – our son had a failed attempt to spend the night with a friend last night. A friend was having a sleep over and at 3:00 am this morning son texted me asking to go get him and bring him home. The (teen) boys had had a fight and he just wanted to leave. So i was up earlyyyyy. And i (basically) didn’t go back to sleep after getting him home and listening to him tell me the “whole story”.

#2 – a friend who lives out of State, who i haven’t seen in 10- years was in town for just the weekend and (after getting Sir’s approval) we agreed to get together this morning. And i was super excited to get to see her today.

#3 – David was going to church early due to being on technical team and the original plan was that i would drop our son at church, and then go see said friend from there. (i was allowed to miss to go see my friend).

So with that. i texted David at 8:00am to report the events with our son and to confirm it was okay for our son to skip church also. Well, like all texting convos, while i was telling him about our son, he was asking me to do some tasks before i left.

He asked that i would rinse the RED BEANS and put them in water to soak. And if i did that, the beans would then be ready to go when he was home from church, so he would set them to cooking to be ready for tonight’s dinner.

He proceeded to give me explicit directions on EXACTLY what to do to get the beans soaking in the way he wanted them. This was all via text and between me saying, “yes Sir” i would also write more about our son’s mishaps that occurred overnight and got permission to allow our son to sleep in and also miss church.

So with that, i went to the shower, dressed, and left the house. Went to meet my friend. Off and on texting with Sir about having fun, etc.

And a bit later, i received a text from Sir that said, “Forget something??” after he had gotten home from church.

Oh crap. i forgot the beans. How to respond? NO WAY i can deny that i didn’t know how to do it. He texted EVERY step.

i responded, “Yes Sir. i did. i forgot the beans. i’m so very sorry”.

To which i received a text saying “What ELSE?“

What else?! Uhmm. NO idea…. Yikes.

i responded, “i’m not sure i know of anything else Sir.”

To which i received a text saying, “Your Collar?!”

(i have a collar that while it’s not been exactly or explicitly made clear when it is expected to be on or off, i basically “just know”. And it is basically, “All the time, but especially when leaving the house”. So i knew this was a time i should have worn it!)

Oh double crap. i clearly wasn’t thinking about anything Sir wanted or expected when i was dressing and leaving to meet with my friend!

i responded, “yes Sir. i have failed to wear it today. i’m sorry.”

To which i received a “Hmm” text back. Oh triple crap. NOT good!

Well, he didn’t text again. And the entire thing weighed heavy on my mind the rest of my friend meeting. And i texted, “i’m heading home now” at the conclusion of our meeting.

And i got a text back that said, “You need to stop and buy a bag of Red beans.”

“Yes Sir”.

i did.

And with that, Sir greets me and says, “I’m going to take a nap. We will deal with you after that!”

The waiting continues. The weight on my mind is NOT alleviated at ALL yet.

After Sir gets up, he says, “Go to the bedroom, take off all your clothes, put ON YOUR COLLAR and wait for me on the bed. I’m going to order pizza so we have SOMETHING to eat for dinner!”

Five very long minutes later…..

He comes in, with the bag of red beans that i had bought, and says, “You’ve had trouble listening and follow through with tasks today. When I tell you to do something, I expect it to be done. Now you have to learn a lesson.”

And he proceeded to pour the beans onto the floor, near the wall. He points to it. He says “Kneel. Now. Put your nose to the wall. You will be here until the pizza is delivered.”

And he left.

WELL – the first thoughts i had was, “This isn’t as bad as i feared. In fact, i’m not sure this will be any consequence or punishment at all!” But that feeling did NOT last long!

The minutes ticked away. My knees started to feel it. i shifted my weight from left to right. i thought, “Wow, that hurt!” but i also felt the beans “move”. Well, i wasn’t too sure how Sir would respond if he came back and found that the beans were basically NOT under my knees. So i leaned back, pushed them together in a cohesive pile, and went back to position.

OH MY GOSH. MISTAKE. THAT HURT!

And i waited. My back was starting to hurt from leaning into the wall for my nose to touch. So now my knees AND my back hurt.

And he came back. He asked, “How are we doing??” i had NO real idea how to respond. i worried that saying i was in pain would seem like a complaint, but to NOT say that would be a lie. So i opted for the truth to which he responded with, “GOOD!”

That’s when he slipped his fingers between my legs and i squirmed. OUCH. That squirm made the beans shift and sent pain through my knees. He saw the movement and said, “DO NOT MOVE! And don’t even think of Coming!”. He rubbed my clit and it was wet in an instant. i always get wet when he touches me. And then he pushed a finger in my ass. In. Out. In. Out. Deeper in. All the way out. Faster in. Faster out.

My head leaned back. i could feel the orgasm building. And he said, “Nose on the wall! I said do NOT move!” and he pulled fingers out and slapped my ass. Over and over. And while it didn’t hurt, it did a nice warm-up too! And i did not and was not allowed to cum.

And he left.

And i waited. And the beans shifted. So i shuffled them back together. Again. And IT HURT! You’d think i’d have learned the first time! But no, i didn’t. This time, tears came to my eyes when i made myself get back in place.

45-long-minutes-later, i heard the door bell ring. i was never so happy to hear that bell!

And just a couple of minutes after that, Sir came in and asked, “Have you learned that you need to remember to do as i ask?”

“Oh yes, Sir, i have!”

“Do your knees hurt?”

“Oh yes, Sir, they do!”

“Good!” (then he told me to stand, gave me forgiveness kisses and hugs) and he also said, “Now get dressed, get a Ziploc and clean up the beans. Do not throw them away. Keep them. i may need to repeat this at some point! Then take a picture of your knees. Keep it as a reminder. And let’s go eat dinner… albeit PIZZA and NOT red beans and rice!”

“Yes Sir”

And we ate Pizza. Afterward he said, “Now go blog about this. I want you to remember this! and post the Picture with it”

In case you are wondering, YES, those are my knees in this picture above. (Sexy, right?! LOL). And 2-hours later, they are still indented, although not as bad. And they still sting too!

Red beans will be tomorrow’s meal. And i hope to NEVER have this repeated.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

16 – Submit even when you aren’t “Feeling it”

Written by Marie on October 3, 2018. Posted in Submission. No Comments on 16 – Submit even when you aren’t “Feeling it”

i don’t know WHY i was having a “bad day”…. But i was. Yesterday, i wasn’t “feeling it”. i wasn’t feeling work, cooking, eating, nothing. i just kinda wanted to be alone in my alone world. In fact, i was feeling quite selfish overall. i didn’t really recognize it for what it was until Sir pointed it out to me.

He said, “You are having a lot of trouble with this Submission thing today!” And my first thought was, “No I’m not!”. (Notice the capital “I”?? Read this post about that: https://wordpress.com/post/lovingdisciplinelife.com/69).

While i didn’t say it, it was true. And i didn’t even realize it at the time either.

But he would be right.

So let me back up to the morning….. rewind….. yesterday morning….

i was horny. He knew it. And he had to leave before me. So he told me to masturbate. But because we are doing Orgasm control too (see this post for more on that: https://wordpress.com/post/lovingdisciplinelife.com/95), he told me i had to “Masturbate to the edge, but DO NOT CUM, 4 x’s on repeat and THEN ask permission to cum.”

So that’s exactly what i did. And he said i could. And i was SO thankful. i wouldn’t have been happy at all if he’d said no. But alas, he didn’t, so i did. And boy was it sooooo nice!

But THEN, he texted about 2-minutes later and said, “But now you have to wear the tack bra for having masturbated 2-days ago without permission.” (Which i had and he busted me on!).

i begged, “NO please, Sir. i really need to focus at work today and i don’t want to have to wear that. Can i just wear it from the time i get home?!” And he did (Thankfully) relent.

And nothing else was said about it. And my work day was stressful. i came home tired and feeling so tired. And since NOTHING else had been said about it, when i got home, i didn’t put on the tack bra.

Then an hour later, i got in my favorite PJ’s (NOT his favorite – pants, top, made of cotton, super soft, but super “mom” and not at all “sexy”). And didn’t say a word, just climbed into bed to play on my ipad a bit.

THAT was when he came in and told me i was struggling to be submissive. i think he knew i didn’t have the tack bra on. But he more-or-less let it go. And i was happy.

Then today came….

And i felt guilty. i felt very un-submissive in my behavior yesterday. So without being told or asked, i just put on the tack bra anyway.

Now you have to understand, this was **THE** first time i’d actually been told to wear it since it was made. But he told me, “If you make it, you better be prepared to wear it!” – and i wasn’t!

At least last night. But today, i was determined to be a better submissive wife.

OUCH!

Okay, so putting it on wasn’t a big deal – not as much as i’d imagined anyway. My imagination had gone crazy thinking how awful this would be. So i went about getting ready for work.

And Sir texted me. And here’s how the texting went:

Sir: “You should cum”.

Me: well, i had to clarify, “Is that a suggestion or a requirement?”

Sir: one word, “Requirement”.

Me: “i’m not exactly feeling horny. Do i have to?”

Sir: “You need to start realizing that it doesn’t matter if you ‘feel’ it or not. Now DO IT!”

Me: “Yes Sir”.

Sir: “Send me a picture”.

And the picture had the tack bra showing in it too.

Sir then texts: “You put it on? Without me telling you?”

Me: “Technically speaking, you DID tell me to put it on and i felt particularly unsubmissive in my actions and behaviors yesterday, and needed to make amends.”

Sir: “Good girl!”

Me: But oh-my-gosh – after moving around to masturbate and cum – when i wasn’t even horny and had to get myself to that point without ‘feeling it’ was PAINFUL with a tack bra on! Holy H-E-Double Hocky sticks!

Me to Sir: “Sir, i know you told me to wear this. And technically, i have. But it is SERIOUSLY hurting already and i haven’t left the house. Can i have permission to NOT wear it to work, please?”

Sir: “Because you recognize your own need for discipline and because you realize you did not follow orders without having to make me administer discipline, I will allow you to not wear it to work. This time. But get your attitude in check, and remember YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE AT ALL ANYMORE! or next time you WILL wear it out of the house until i tell you otherwise!”

Me: “OH THANK YOU SIR!”

SO – Sir is seriously taking on the Dom role nicely. i am having to learn that i am really NOT in control anymore. i have to remember that even when i don’t ‘feel like it”, Sir just might be. And i am not capital, but lower case.

And i love it! i wouldn’t have it any other way.

Next time though – my breasts may take a beating, right along with my ass too. Let’s hope i’ve learned my lesson and don’t “FEEL” particularly unsubmissive anytime too soon!
Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

8 – How did i get here anyway? AND…It’s a Struggle… a 2-fer.

Written by Marie on September 18, 2018. Posted in Marriage, Submission, Uncategorized. 2 Comments on 8 – How did i get here anyway? AND…It’s a Struggle… a 2-fer.

Hello ~

Fair warning – this is a longggg post. But it is a 2-fer really.

First, i want to give you some of my backstory. How did i get to this place?

Second, its a struggle. This submission thing is both what i want, and not. And, well, its a struggle. Yes, a struggle, after just a couple of days ago how i told you my Thoughts on Submission. Wanting to submit and actually doing it aren’t always one in the same.

SO – STORY #1 – MY BACKSTORY.

To date, i haven’t given you ‘that much’ information about ME and my husband. But i want to now.

We’ve been married for 17 years. We met at work. We are both in the same profession. He was my boss when i started working there. (i suppose he was ‘in charge’ of me from the beginning!) i worked there for 9-months when we started dating. Our firm sent us out of town on a project for 3-weeks where we ate, drank, and …got merry! (MERRY not MARRY…. not yet anyway.)

We dated for 5-years. A longgg 5-years and i doubted whether he was going to marry me and i ended up giving him an ultimatum. Obviously, he conceded and we were married shortly thereafter.

And from there, life got boring. We changed jobs and no longer worked together. We had a kid. Only one. And life was even more mundane. We both thought, “This is ALL there is?” and we became your average American family with a 2-story house, picket fence, and a dog.

The “American Dream” … right? What more could a girl want?!?

Well… looks can be deceiving.

At about our 10-year anniversary, neither of us was “all that happy” (and a bag of chips). We were just going through the motions. And something had to change or else we would either die young (boredom) or end up divorced.

That’s when we started talking about having a 3-some (with a woman). And from there, we talked about becoming swingers. And we did it ….all. Yes, i consider myself bi-sexual now also. But we don’t have any ‘regulars’ we see… not yet anyway. (In another post, i’ll give you some salacious details!)

The more we explored, the more i wanted to do. He was happy with a 3-some (of course he was, what man wouldn’t want 2-women?!). But i found myself wanting to be controlled. i wanted him to tell me what to do.

It basically started as a fantasy… and mostly just a sexual one. i really thought i was a masochist for the longest time. And when i “casually mentioned” this to my husband, he was like, “NO, I can NOT beat you!! I was raised to respect women” And i was like, “But i WANT you to.” And while i think he just basically thought i was crazy… i REALLY think he thought that this was a “phase” that i was going through. That the fantasy sounded good, but the reality wouldn’t be.

Fast forward a bit. About 2-years ago, i found the website for really kinky people and i decided to register. My profile says “I’m a married female, on here with consent from my husband. I want a Dom and while he doesn’t feel that’s something he can do, he supports my endeavor to find one.” And all that was true. i talked to him first. And he agreed to the site, the posting wording, and as long as he knew where i was and who i was with at all times when i met someone… then i had his blessings. (Safety first. That was his concern).

This is the point he started to take me seriously though too. If i was willing to do all this, maybe i did want this from someone. And if he wasn’t willing or able to give it to me, i was willing to go get it. i never did find anyone that i was brave enough to actually meet …. stories of rape, abuse, and kidnapping scared me so much that i just couldn’t ACTUALLY bring myself to GO MEET “HIM” (or HER).

WELL – so how did we bridge this gap?

Our dog LOVES to bark. We’ve tried everything to get her to stop. And we finally bought her a shock collar that we shock her and she FINALLY stops. It is run from a plug-in Rechargeable battery and you are now wondering, “HOW did we get to talking about the DOG and HOW does that get us to a DD relationship” (Bear with me 1-more minute!)

The collar went ‘dead’ and needed to be recharged a little more than a week ago. So i plugged it in and waited (bark, bark, bark going on the entire time i waited!). It was FINALLY time to put it back on her.

And when David got home from work, he said, “I see you put her collar back on.” To which I replied, “YES, a collar is a good thing!” and he said, “Is it now?” and i said, “YES! Absolutely!” And at this point, i think he knew i wasn’t talking about the dog collar.

He went to the (home) office computer and started typing. And i figured out he was doing something “secretive” so i didn’t bother him. (Maybe he was finding us a hot babe for another hot 3-some!)

A couple of days later, we have a delivery. He tells me to “Come here now!” and i do. He has a collar for ME! He put it on and i LOVED it! i was surprised at it. And he said, “WOW, I think I could’ve bought you a car and you wouldn’t be THIS happy!” He also said, “You are MINE! And I really see NO reason for you to take this collar off. Do you?” and I responded with, “No Sir!”.

i didn’t know for sure if this was the start of him REALLY being my Dom, but i prayed about it. i was hoping! i literally prayed, “Lord, let him be the head of our house. Let him have his way and not mine. Help him to lead us according to your will and to hear you clearly. Help me to submit to my husband”.

Finding Domestic Discipline (DD). Up until this point, i didn’t even actually KNOW about DD. i got SO turned on by the collar, i went to my ipad and typed into a Google search, “Submitting to my husband” and the first thing that came up was “Domestic Discipline.” I read a lot about it that night.

THAT was when i realized, i’m not reallyyyyy a masochist. i’m a submissive wanting to submit to my husband, have consequences for NOT doing so, and well, have domestic discipline. Domestic discipline is about spanking. But not just that. Discipline can come in many forms. But that’s all really for another post!

i showed my husband what i found and asked him to research it too.

And the VERY NEXT DAY… he told me to buy a paddle and be ready to have it used. i thought, “WOAH, we are REALLY doing this!!”

… and THAT my friends is “How I got here in the first place!”

Which brings me to Story #2 –

IT’S A STRUGGLE

Submission. i want to do it. i really do. But i’m struggling. Let me (try to) explain.

With ALL that backstory (that is absolutely true) up until this point, everything i reallyyyyy knew about Submission or Domination or Domestic Discipline or Masochism or BDSM (any other ‘or’s i’ve missed?!?) – was ALL IN MY HEAD. Meaning, i have read a lot, talked a lot, but not DONE a lot.

None of it was actually played out in real life. If you count ‘talking to someone online or text’ as playing it out in real life, then yes, i suppose i’ve had at least a real life experience. But other than THAT, nothing. So i don’t really know what it means to submit or be spanked or to say things like, “Yes Sir.”

And well, the internet is completely true…. and all those erotic stories i’ve read… those are all true too. And that’s exactly how all this will play out in real-life too. RIGHT?!?!

So i’ve crafted this whole “IDEA” of how all this dominance/submission and spanking was supposed to go. Frankly, it is so well crafted that it could be my own real-life-movie where i’m the star of the show and my husband says his lines and plays his part. All i had to do was give him the script!

And that’s basically what i tried to do. That’s why i’m “Topping from the Bottom”. You know, where i tell you how to dominate me and you do what i say?!?! THAT was what i envisioned. Oh it wasn’t intentional, but is the reality of the situation too.

WHAT I GOT was a TRUE SIR. My husband, David, is coming into his own. He took my ‘Advice and ideas’ for about a week. And NOW, he’s told me to SUBMIT and let HIM dominate. That i’m too bossy. That i need to understand that submission doesn’t mean tell him what to do. It is the other way around. And whether it is according to my ‘script’ or not, he doesn’t care.

SO – NOW – I’m struggling. You’d think i’d be happy. RIGHT? Well, i am actually. BUT i’m not sure how to “DO” this submission thing. It sure looked easy watching the porn, in my books, on the internet, but now … this is ‘real life’ … and it’s not really following the scripts that i laid out.

Sir is doing an amazing job. i’m SO thrilled and impressed at his desire to lead. (Today he told me he wouldn’t hesitate to turn me over his knee in public or in front of my sister, if the time comes where that it is needed).

i don’t suppose i’ll ever really know what made him buy me the collar. i won’t know what ever convinced him that i truly do want this. i won’t know how we got from ‘there’ to ‘here’. BUT – i do know – i have to throw away the script and let him do what he was born to do – LEAD and DOMINATE.

Life shouldn’t be so scripted anyway – maybe that’s why we were just an “average American family” and yet – bored. i don’t want to go back to that life. i need to just relax and let him do what he’s meant to do – LEAD. But i have to learn how too.

And to remember all i REALLY have to do is – SUBMIT…. respect, obey, and did i say submit (??) … all in a way that is pleasing to HIM!

i’ll do better tomorrow, i promise…. Sir!

Hugs ~

Marie