Tag: my submissiveness
297 – Without further ado… Fancy Steel belt review
So i have made you wait for several weeks now to get this review…. And you’ve waited very patiently indeed. i didn’t mean to make you wait, but like anything, first impressions may not tell the whole story. So i wanted to get to know the belt better before offering an opinion and now i can.
i write all this as i am here in-belt. i spent more time in belt now than out. i rather like it this way too. i will probably write an entire post sometime on the mental aspects of wearing a Chastity Belt in a world that most would see this as some perverted, insane, crazy thing. As you probably surmise, i do not share those same views (or else i would not wear it).
Here’s my thoughts…
Overall rating….
i am giving my Fancy Steel new, permanent, fitted, and very expensive Chastity Belt (CB) an ……overall rating: 9 out of 10.
Woo hoo! Mission accomplished, great job, kudos! (And the 1-point missing can and is expected to be fixed. i’ll explain further too.)
The ultimate 1-missing-point is not about the belt, but about the ordering and receipt process.
What needs to be fixed?
i am sure you want to know about this first. So i’ll just start here.
In a previous post, you saw a texting exchange between me and David where he mentioned the belt needing to “be fixed.” And this is also the reason for the 9 instead of a 10 rating.
When you read the word “fixed,” it implies that something is “broken,” but that’s not quite the case here. While the CB is in need of an adjustment to be made, it’s not actually broken either.
When the CB arrived, i immediately realized it did not have a rear opening to allow me to defecate while in belt. Instead, it was a solid rear cable extending from the dome shield over the vulva to the waistband.
Here’s a picture (from the Fancy Steel website) of what i got….
Without the rear opening, the belt must be removed to go poop, or else have a bigggggg mess to deal with. i’m not into messy (and thankfully neither is David), which means…. The belt comes off for that purpose. Which ultimately means, i have a key. Which ultimately means, it’s not working as intended.
i have NO clue why someone would spend this much money and wait this long for a belt that can’t be entirely used for the chastity purpose of taking away all their control, where another person is the key holder. But. i assume there is someone somewhere who would want this. But. No me.
The CB can still be used for its purpose, but only for short term fun.
While i can get on board with short term fun, and i am sure that’s what many do, what doesn’t add up for me is then why would someone spend THIS much money on the belt and not just go get a cheap(er) one if short term fun is their goal?! If it’s only going to be used in short time blocks, maybe say out to dinner and home again, then spend less money and DEFINITELY wait less time for its arrival.
In my opinion, the only time someone would spend 4-digits ($1,000 +) on a chastity belt would be for long term, serious wear, orgasm and physical control, and intense fun. And to do that, it MUST HAVE A REAR OPENING.
Well, also from their site, are a few pics of the rear opening of what i wanted:
These pictures are from the FS website and within the section regarding the belt i anted. Of course, I didn’t want a plug or an anal “covering” (like in the second pic), but it’s honestly hard to tell what was included in the “basic belt” and what was “add-ons” or extras. THAT is where the ultimate rating of 9 comes in.
i can appreciate them having add-ons and “more” available, but make it more clear from the start then too.
When i ordered it, because the pics were all shown together in the particular waist belt version that i wanted AND there didn’t seem to be an option to select “with or without the rear opening,” i thought i had ordered what i wanted. But apparently that’s not what happened.
Admittedly in the drop down menus were “add-on” optional parts for the belt, and the rear opening was one of them. Well. i saw that add-on, but didn’t select it when ordering for two reasons: 1) i thought the rear opening was included already (again, the pics all showed the belt WITH it), and 2) the drop down menu add-on said, “rear opening with plug.” So i assumed the belt came with a “rear opening, but without the rear plug” and because i didn’t want a plug, i didn’t select this add-on.
After it arrived and it wasn’t entirely what i wanted, i have been emailing back and forth with the Company owners and i am happy to report they are making this right. They are sending me the rear opening and as of the time of this writing, i am still waiting on its arrival, but (hopefully) it will arrive soon.
Now the owners and i have coordinated via email, where they are making this right. They have already put in the mail a rear opening, that i am sure i will be able to install, and get the belt into full order.
So the 9, instead of a 10 rating, is more about the ordering process, and the FIVE month wait, than the belt itself.
i would like to suggest to the company owners to improve their ordering and manufacturing and delivery processes, and the belt would be a 10 out of 10 rating. But that said, a 9 out of 10 is still an amazing product and not probably worth their time (or $!) in their eyes to improve things. But then again, the very first impression of them and their CB’s is the ordering, manufacturing, and delivery process too!
Comfort
Into the details of the belt’s review, i will first start with comfort. i knew from the first few hours of putting it on that it was significantly more comfortable than the other belt. Just yesterday though, i came to realize just how much more comfortable as i was locked in the old belt with David leaving to go out of town.
We agreed that because i can’t defecate in the new belt yet, while he is out of town, the old belt would go on. Within (about) 3-hours, i was given the key and allowed to take off the old belt. It was that uncomfortable and causing irritants/chafing for me already that fast.
i had adapted to the old belt more than i realized. i had learned how to wear, move, and lay/sleep in it “just so” that it didn’t cause chafing. i had built up my tolerance and endurance with the old belt.
Now though, with the new belt, i see just how much better it is built with the right measurements and better quality that it is so much more comfortable to wear long term.
So now i am on an honor system while David is out of town for 5-days, in that i have the key. i am to wear the new belt 23-hours a day. i usually only defecate in the mornings, after waking and drinking coffee, so i am allowed time out of belt for that purpose. And of course, NO orgasms during this time either.
The comfort mainly comes in 2-ways….
1) the vulva covering. In looking at the pics, you can see the plate itself is curved into a sort of U-type shape whereas the old belt the plate was flat and straight. The curved shape fits better between my legs and minimize more of the natural curvature of a person’s body
As well, the edge of the plate has a circular-type beveled edge on it, whereas the old belt was just a flat-straight-edge. So the outer edges fit more into the u-shape of my body and the actual edge doesn’t feel so sharp against my thighs.
2) The Waist Belt is made in 3-distinct parts, held together by small, yet effective, screws. You can see the gold fastener and the screws in the top picture, on the left side of the waist belt. This is in comparison to the old belt that, while it was curved metal, it was just one piece.
The sides of this waist belt fit more snug and more in line with the natural curves of a waist than the old belt had. So when laying down in this belt, it doesn’t press or dig into my sides the way the old belt does.
Again, I didn’t even fully appreciate the comfort features on this new belt until i was in the old belt for a short period yesterday! But now, i know! (Never going back to that old belt again if i can help it!)
Hygiene
It is much easier to use the bathroom to urinate in this new belt over the old one.
Due to the U-shape mentioned above, the urine funnels into the dome (see the second picture above for the best angled view of the dome) and out of the holes much better than the old belt did. With the old belt, since the vaginal covering was flat, the urine just spilled out in any direction it wished to go.
i have learned to go to the bathroom sooner though than i might would have otherwise. At first, i dreaded going to the bathroom in the belt. That was true of both old and new belts. That’s because it seemed like such a process and a huge effort that i tried to do it as minimally as possible. i even think i stopped drinking as much fluids so as to only have to go a few times a day.
This new belt though is so much easier to clean up and dry off that it is just not an issue to go pee, except when i have to go badly. When my bladder is very full, the urine comes out so quickly that it fills the dome and spills over onto the sides of the plate covering. The effect is then the same with the new belt as the old belt. So now i go to the bathroom much more frequently than i did before so that the stream is not as strong and it flows through the dome and not out and all around it.
As i mentioned before, i have not defecated in the belt yet, so i can’t speak to that but i suspect it won’t really be different in the new belt than what that was in the old belt. And the old belt was super easy to go poop, that i expect this won’t be a problem. Once i get the rear opening AND on the belt AND have to poop, i’ll let you know for sure.
Shower
Both belts are equal in terms of showering. It is easy.
The old belt’s lock was not waterproof, but the belt was, so i made sure to cover the lock (with a Ziploc baggie) to avoid getting it wet. The new belt website says it is fully water proof, but as my luck has gone with their website, i am completely unsure if the LOCK is waterproof. As such, while i suspect the lock is water proof, i am just not trusting of it. So far to date, i have showered with the lock covered up the same as the old belt.
Sound
i didn’t know that SOUND would be something to consider, but it is. Due to the belt and the lock both being made of metal, when i walk the lock taps (gently) against the belt and there is a clinking sound. It’s not terribly loud, but it is obvious.
The old belt had this too, but it wasn’t quite as loud as this new belt. i didn’t really notice it much in the old belt, but this new belt is definitely louder!
i think the new one is louder because the lock itself is bigger. And with the bigger lock, comes more weight, comes a bigger clink.
i have had to adjust the way i walk a bit so as to minimize the sound, especially in times where it would be obvious to another person that it is coming from my waist. i don’t mind this as it is making me stay in the here and now to be cognizant of the belt at all times.
But i suppose in comparison to the old belt, the new belt has a negative mark against it for the louder sound. Given the old belt also had sound, i won’t give this new belt a lower mark though either.
Lock
The lock on this new belt is very tight on the circle knob that locks the belt pieces together and in place.
In fact, when it first arrived, i thought the lock was too small as i couldn’t figure out how to get it on/ off at first. i finally realized that it was that snug intentionally. And when you hold the lock at a 45 degree angle while it is surrounding the circle knob, and press down on the lock at the same time, it gives a slight ‘pop’ and gets itself into place.
Once i figured it out, it isn’t hard but it was NOT obvious what-so-ever!
In fact, when i first emailed the owners of Fancy Steel about the rear opening, i also told them the lock didn’t fit. It was only after they wrote back with instructions on how to make it pop into place did i realize how to make it work. i wrote back and told them, “You should have some sort of instructions or a short video showing people how to do that.”
They agreed. In fact, they said they will probably create a video now.
That said, after i figured out how to make the lock work, it is actually better than the old belt or old lock. Because it is SO tightly positioned against the circle knob, it would be difficult to cut it off. There’s just no room between the circle and the lock to fit any kind of cutter in there, which effectively makes the belt be just that much more effective.
Abstinence
Because this belt has a better waist belt fit, U-shaped Vagina cover and a very secure lock, the overall security is better than the old belt. While i could still get a finger in there and touch myself if i really wanted to, it’s not very easy or much of a true turn on. In fact, like the old belt, i have to stand in a sumo-wrestler sort of pose, with my legs held wideeeee apart and press a single finger under the plate to get access. And that finger is nearly pinched in the process too.
All in all….
A really well built belt.
And when it gets “fixed,” i will be very happy.
And so will David.
And that’s when the key will be taken away for real.
And that’s it.
(What did i miss? What else do you need to know?)
Hugs,
Marie
295 – Chastity Belt – SOP
As i was thinking it may happen, it’s now official! i have a clear directive – or Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) – has now been decided and communicated to me.
i am to “assume there is a standing order to wear the belt, unless told otherwise with a specifically communicated reason to not wear it.”
i have now had the Fancy Steel, permanent and more durable and more fitted, Chastity Belt for one week now. i have been in-belt more than out-of-belt during the last week too.
Thinking about the times i have been out-of-belt the most over this last week, it has been overnight. i have only slept in the belt one night so far.
Yesterday evening, i asked permission to be out-of-belt as David had heated up our pool and i wanted to go swimming. While i ended up NOT swimming (not a relevant point), i was given permission to be out-of-belt. So it was off from (about) 7p last night and is still off now at 5:30p. It is now (about) 22’ish consecutive hours out-of-belt. While i haven’t officially calculated it out, it’s probably the longest consecutive amount of time out-of-belt in the last 7-days.
But the belt will go back on as soon as i home from work, which is to happen in the next hour.
The directive for the now SOP came late this morning when i had been at work for just a bit.
i was struggling with what to do (wear or not wear the belt, ask or not ask if i should, etc!), so i started a text dialogue with David, as follows:
So as i was preparing for work, i decided to take some leftovers from last night’s dinner for my lunch today. i was getting out the plastic/ storage dishes and scooping food into the smaller ones to take “just some” of it to work, when David came into the kitchen and inquired about what i was doing.
When i told him, he said, “Just take the whole (full) container” and i said (with a little sharper tone and demeanor than i had intended), “No. i don’t need all this. And i don’t want to stand at the microwave (at work for lunch) heating this entire dish of food, when i want just a small portion.”
Well. Sir said, “it doesn’t look like the new container that you are using is much smaller than the one that has the original food. Just take it all.”
“Yes, i know. We just don’t own many small single-serve storage containers. But i don’t need to take all this with me so this is easier.” (Again, too much “tone” went with this statement!)
That was when David’s eyebrows raised up and he asked in a stern voice, “why are you talking to me in this tone?! And why are you not just doing as I told you to?”
i was a bit snappy for sure. My response was, “i just don’t need the entire container at work is all.”
That’s when he didn’t appreciate me NOT recognizing or apologizing for the tone i used and said, “bend over the counter!”
And so he gave me a small (clothing on) spanking with his hand, that i definitely felt, and that we were both aware was to make a point more than anything. It was a reminder. Of what could come if i continue on.
He then said, “if you want to keep this up, the next spanking will be worse.”
“Yes Sir. i’m sorry Sir.” And then i was off to work (with my smaller containers of portion-appropriate food in hand).
Soooo when he asked me the question above about whether the belt was on or off when i was arguing this morning, that was what it was in reference to.
And this was the next part of our texting conversation:
i admitted to him (and you too), i was snarky.
Sir didn’t have to say it. i knew. He thinks that i am more submissive when i am in-belt than when i am out-of-belt. i’m not sure if that’s true or not, but it may well be. i just don’t know. But i think we are nearing the point where we will be finding out soon!
And then i waited to hear more. We went radio-silent for a bit. i knew he needed time to think and i couldn’t demand an immediate answer. That’s understandable.
But that understanding didn’t seem to last too long. About an hour later, this was the next part:
So. Now i know. The SOP is to “assume the belt goes on. Until or unless it is explicitly said otherwise.”
AND i got a positive confirmation that he still intends to use and play with me. So there’s that!
The very last of our conversation went like this:
So i said thanks, and acknowledged/ admitted i will willingly submit.
If i’m being honest, i’m not certain how i feel about this.
This is no longer a fantasy, or a “scene,” but instead it now a way of life. While i expected it, and we’ve been moving ever closer to this really, knowing it and living it aren’t entirely the same. The very true and full reality that my control is completely taken away is about to hit me hard.
i think i will like it, but i am a bit nervous too. i will keep you posted!
What i know without a doubt is that now the “Belt Rules” are all feeling super real!
Lastly – if you are curious about the “get it fixed” part…. Well…. that will be expanded on as part of my “full belt review” still to come.
Hugs,
Marie
290 – Absent in spirit
We have been busy.
With Life.
After the Kentucky trip, we have had….
- A family wedding in Nashville (that was outdoors in 30 degree weather. Oh my!),
- Thanksgiving (which was lovely and low key),
- My 51st birthday (i’m not ashamed or embarrassed about admittedly my age),
- Trip to see our son in college (nice weekend with him),
- My firm’s Christmas party (at our house with 22-people here, David cooked amazing food for it too. i didn’t make him, he wanted to. It was his gift to us and vice versa.)
All that in the course of 4 1/2 weeks.
All that on top of getting ready for Christmas with decorating, buying and wrapping presents, and of course…. Work.
It’s been unseasonably warm in our area. It’s normally 40’s lows to maybe 60’s highs. We’ve been having 60’s for lows and 80’s for highs.
While i love the hot weather, not everyone does. It’s sooooo much easier to be sexy in warm weather clothes than cold weather clothes.
Think about it… in the cold north, a conversation probably goes like this….
Him: I want to fuck you.
Her: oh yeah Sir?! I want that too.
Her again: just give me 10-minutes.
Him (annoyed): uhm. No. Don’t tell me I have to wait! NOW!
Her: well Sir, since it’s so cold out, I have 16-layers of clothes on and have to take them all off. That’s going to take awhile.
Lol. Yeah. So. NOT sexy.
So warm weather allows me to wear tank tops or a low-cut shirt, no bra, no panties… and be undressed in no time flat.
i can also sleep naked, or be in the house naked, much easier in warm weather.
Generally speaking, i feel way more more sexy in warm weather than in cold weather.
But i would say that David has been absent in spirit lately. With so many “life things” happening, he hasn’t had the least bit of focus on me, regardless of what i have on or do not… or whether the temp is cold or warm! (Yes, i am fully aware of how selfish that sounds!)
Now that’s not to say he’s not talked to me, done (vanilla) things with me, nor has he been entirely or literally gone.
He’s just not held me accountable or maintained our Domestic Discipline dynamic. At all.
i have been trying to NOT get anxious, upset, or angry about the (perceived) neglect. i know i am loved. i know i am not ignored, forgotten, or neglected. But it feels like it to me. And sometimes what we perceive becomes our truth.
i just wish he’d hold me accountable. i just wish he’d stay the course of our dynamic. i just wish he would bent me over his knee already.
i know i need to tell him. But HOW to tell him has been problematic.
If i……
Brat…
….. Which is where i become cranky, disobedient, disrespectful, and …. Challenging, that is unbecoming. It also, usually, just makes David annoyed and/or angry.
i don’t chose to be a brat quite as literally as it may seem. It’s somewhat like having a bad day. You don’t start out saying, “hey, I want to have a bad day today.” And yet, sometimes it just happens anyway.
And to take that even further, when a bad day does happen, sometimes you think, “I am NOT going to let this continue.” And yet it just does.
So being “bad” and throwing a temper tantrum isn’t the right answer, but admittedly, i have done a bit of this. Yet David has let it go and not held me accountable.
What exactly have i done? Well…. i decided he hasn’t paid ANY attention to my puss. He doesn’t seem to care if i touch it or not. i decided to NOT shave it until he pays attention to it.
On Saturday, he decided to lay me on the bed, spread my legs, and lick me to orgasm. (Yah, i know this is paying attention to me, which is exactly what i am complaining about. But. This is the one and only sexual type interaction we’ve had in nearly 6-weeks.).
He didn’t even comment about the hair. i dared him to. He didn’t. He should have. It was annoying that he didn’t.
Top from the Bottom…
…. i’d just tell him what to do, or maybe tell him “what you should do in this situation is….”
Turn me over and spank me, like the spoiled brat that i am acting like.
Or stand me in the corner until further notice.
Or (fill in the blank)…..
But i don’t want to tell him what to do. i want him to enforce the rules, do maintenance spankings, tell me to wear the Chastity Belt, or WHATEVER…. because he wants to do it and NOT just because i am telling him to do those things.
Try talking to him…
Yes, i know. THIS is the most logical. But i am already thinking he’s just going to hear my words as Topping because i think i hear it that way already too.
i can hear the conversation now….
Me: “you aren’t holding me accountable.”
Him: “ok. We’ve been busy.”
Me: “yes, but you should….”
Okay… right there…. i am Topping from the Bottom. Telling him what he’s NOT doing and how to DO something (anything) better
Send him a link of this post…
But that’s likely just another version of Topping from The Bottom.
SUMMARY…..
i am getting increasingly annoyed and unhappy…. Which is making me cranky. Which is probably going to lead to me being a Brat… even more. Just to get his attention.
See a pattern here? See the circular reference?
Ugh.
Suggestions?
Until then… no matter hot weather or not, i will wear what i want, when i want!
Hugs,
Marie
287 – (Submissive) things i am thankful for
Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃
i am so incredibly thankful for so many things that i don’t even know where to start if i were to try to list them ALL out. So i will list the ones i think matter the most. Or at least the ones that i am thinking about today! And especially the ones relating to my spousal dynamic.
1) A Dominant Christian husband. He leads me and our family lovingly and wonderfully. The Bible says a husband is to love his wife and David absolutely and wholly does that!
2) My submission to David. i discovered D/s with DD (Domestic Discipline) several years ago and asked David for it. It made our marriage so much stronger and better. It’s clear who is in charge and who submits. We both know our roles.
3) Chastity belt. My belt helps me to refrain from masturbation. It is a useful tool that i sometimes ask to be allowed to wear, like today. It helps me be compliant with David’s directive…. that i don’t masturbate or orgasm without permission. Because my pleasure belongs to him. And today, the belt is in its place.
4) Anal plug. When i need a tangible reminder of who my ass belongs to, a filled ass usually does the trick! It’s hard to forget that i belong to David when my ass is filled and stretched. And today, it is both filled and stretched.
5) Red wine. To get me turned on and cause me to flirt with my husband. And to forget i have an anal plug in while wearing the chastity belt simultaneously. The red wine causing me to feel frisky and bold…. And even if i don’t forget about the belt and plug, to beg him to take the belt off and the plug out and replace it with his cock.
6) Ability to speak to David and give my opinions. Despite our dynamic, i am always allowed to speak my mind. Of course, in a respectful tone. And David always listens. Like when i beg to have the belt off and the plug out and for him to fuck me thoroughly and completely.
7) For times when David says no. It makes it clear who really is in charge, regardless of what i want or think i need, i know he knows the truth, and his decisions are final. Even when i want to be fucked, when he says no, i have to accept that as his final answer.
7) My submissive side to accept the “No” answers when they come. Acceptance doesn’t always come quickly or easily. i intend to beg for him to change his answer. Frequently and often. And i hope to wear him down to get the ultimate answer i want.
8) Discipline as a way to deal with conflict. Instead of yelling at one another, discipline to accept his answer is a fine way to resolve difficulties. Especially in those times when i don’t accept his “No” answer the way i should have, discipline is exacting and makes his answer truly be no.
Our marriage is stronger than ever. i would say it’s stronger as a result of implementing D/s with Domestic Discipline as a way to deal with conflict. And i can honestly say i wish we had implemented it years ago!
The Bible says Man loves his wife, and a wife submits to her husband. While it does not say Men discipline their wives (at least to my knowledge anyway), DD is a practical way to deal with transgressions. It works for us.
And now i am off to see if i can get the belt off and the plug out. That which i have worn all day today. But to which i doubt (at 4p in the afternoon) is going to change for awhile still. Maybe before bed i will get the pleasure of his loving touch and feel his cock, and be allowed to cum.
But even if i don’t, i am thankful that my husband cares and loves me enough to cook for me and my family, and that he said i was to put the belt on and the plug in today… to serve as a (much needed) reminder of who i submit to and to “act right” today. (It has worked!)
A-N-D finally….. i would be amiss if i didn’t mention how thankful i am for YOU. While i tend to write to “you” as a way to have an audience to my journal documenting my marriage and submission journey, i am thankful that i have “you” to talk to. There is no one else in my “real world” who knows about our dynamic. i can’t tell my best friend, sister, or co-workers. Saying the words “Yah, i wear a chastity belt and my husband spanks me.” aloud wouldn’t (probably) end well. So i am truly thankful to have you, my friends, to talk to! (And thank you for the comments and emails so i have opportunities to get to know you in return.). It’s good to know you are real, as i am too.
Much hugs, love, and thanks…..
Marie