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Tag: married life

119 – Are all subs “little”? Or middle?

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In thinking about and researching on submissive labels, i’ve read a lot about “littles.” And middles and older littles and younger littles and well…. all littles. i don’t know that i understood before, what it all is or means. Admittedly, i’m still not entirely sure i completely understand now even, but i suppose maybe that’s what this post is ultimately about then too.

For sake of this discussion, i’m going to just use “little” in the entire general sense… meaning all the people who think or act younger than their actual age are all “little” here. It’s just easier to use one word than every possible combination thereof. Now i know people in this space are likely cringing right now, but bear with me for just a few more minutes and hear me out. And see what ya think.

All this research of these submissive types has me wondering……

ARE ALL SUBMISSIVES LITTLE? (Again, common term “little” being used here)

As i understand it, the “little” person wants (needs!) to act in a way that is younger than their actual age, be cared for, give up control, follow directions (orders), and is typically (although not always) the sub in the relationship.

Now it made me wonder, “isn’t that a good way to describe ALL submissives?” As my Sir’s submissive wife, and all subs really do, i give up control, follow orders, and love being cared for.

Minus that part of the definition, what’s left is the “acts at an age younger than their actual” age part, which admittedly is probably THE biggest part of a little being a little. So that may be the deal breaker in my argument that ALL subs are littles. But i’d like to put forth a thought about that too, that maybe it isn’t even really an exception at all and this applies to all submissives too.

i think all submissives act a little younger than their actual age at some point, knowingly or not. Intentionally or not. What do i mean?

Well…. i give up control that i rightfully have, as the adult that i am. i give up control to make decisions, i defer to him for the rules, and i wait to be told things. i let him set the rules and tell me frequently what i can and can’t do. i do all this even though i don’t have to, but instead because i want to.

Ok, so isn’t that also what happened when you lived under the roof of your parents….when you were younger? They made the decisions and set the rules…. when to go to bed, what was for dinner, when to eat, what chores to do, approved if you went out and with whom and when to be home…. and…. they ultimately decided when you were rewarded or punished. So you were at least a little submissive (of some sort) when you were literally a little. And if it’s also now (effectively) the same thing that adults who are submissive are doing… doesn’t that seem to say all subs are littles too? (Like if A= B, and B= C, then A=C….. ??)

At the very least, aren’t all submissives “young’ish” at heart in the way we give up control to our Dom in a similar way to what we did when we lived under our parent’s roof?

Now i know much of the sub world doesn’t explore this dynamic the way some do. Ironically the ones who claim this in their world seem to me to be the adult-grown-up ones. Why do i say that? Well, you have to be mature enough to recognize it about yourself and that this is what you want… and then to also be mentally mature enough to go to that space and to make it work. That seems more intentional, and adult-like than the unaware sub. Oh i’m not saying the intentional littles are not littles (and definitely it criticizing their ability to do it), in fact, really the opposite actually. If they are alert enough to recognize this about themselves and to take action to have it in their relationship too, and to get to that mental space they need, they are really smart and i admire them for it!

i’m not sure what age that makes me really… but giving up the control that i do officially have the right to have (as an adult), kinda makes me feel little-r than i actually am.

Alright… but if that’s all i got that would make me think this label might apply to me ….. i will admit, this label doesn’t really seem to fit me much at all. (See how i experimented with the label, tried it on for size, and decided it really isn’t me at all.). So only in just the VERY loosest way, i’ll claim it… but barely.

i bet there are real “true” littles and middles of all ages who i really did make cringe a LOT now and are probably dying to set me straight. Okay, i’ll let you. 😊

Hugs,

Marie

Day 17: My Submissiveness

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DAY 17: “IT’S NOT LIKE THAT … “What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?”

Where do i start?? Lol! Ok, seriously, i feel like i could talk about quite a few. But THE one i’ll talk about here is….

Kinky people are not abnormal. (See that double negative there… that means kinky people ARE normal).

When you hear the word “kinky,” it is in reference to (and an adjective of ) how they like their sex. So in that sense, i admit kinky people are not mainstream, but they (we!) are indeed still normal.

Yet, i would like to even out forth the argument that they ARE mainstream, just in the closet. i happen to think that kinky sex people are the new closet-lurkers that used to be inhabited by the gay/lesbian community. But once the gay/lesbian people evacuated the closet, kinky sex people took their place.

Or maybe kinky sex people were always in the closet, yet with gay/lesbian standing at the front (nearest the exit), no one noticed us there. Until of course, gay/lesbians decided to open the door and outted themselves.

i think kinky became the new closet-lurkers with the release of 50 Shades. i think EL James let the world know, “we are here, now in the closet alone, which is cool by us because this just gives us more room to spread out in here and to explore our sexual preferences… yet still in the dark too.”

i think the word “kinky” could be replaced with “adventurous” or “adrenaline junky” too.

i think it humorous when people want to scare themselves intentionally via watching a horror movie, or getting on an extreme roller coaster, or skydiving from an otherwise perfectly good airplane – and yet – having adventurous sex seems abnormal, odd, strange, or unusual.

So somehow getting my type of adrenaline junky adventure on has deemed me odd, strange, or unusual. Yet scaring myself until i cry, urinate myself, or otherwise cause my heart to race itself into a premature attack is deemed acceptable. (Okay, so sometimes maybe kinky sex causes crying, urination, and heart attacks too…. but … again, that just goes to show we are normal and why is our adrenaline seeking methods less acceptable than others?)

i dare say, like gay/lesbians, we are probably enjoying better and more frequent sex than the nay-saying, mainstream community has ever had.

i have asked the questions above about “why are kinky people’s methods deemed abnormal when the other mainstream activities are not.?” But you and i both ultimately know the answer…. because it’s not the way we were raised, because we aren’t supposed to be with more than one lover at a time, because we shouldn’t like being spanked or treated like a child or otherwise degraded….. or so it would seem to the outsider anyway!

And yet…. we do.

Our likes (and dislikes) don’t make us abnormal. i’d say maybe judgements and misunderstandings should be deemed the abnormal behavior here and the mainstream should be forced to bend a little. Oh wait…. that’s already happened by those gay/lesbian peeps before us. Honestly, while i think kinky people are ready to also evacuate the closet, we will probably just ease out slowly and walk along the path that those gay/lesbian (and EL James) Trail Blazers already cut for the rest of us!

So when someone at work, who you deem “normal” tells you some crazy and kinky story about their sex life…. don’t change your opinions about them one iota. They are still normal too!

Oh – and if/when mainstream DOES “bend a little” – i hope it’s so they bend OVER to get spanked or at least to have some of the best sex of their lives!

Hugs ~

Marie

113 – A reblog…. Cut from the Same Crazy Cloth!

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A REBLOG FROM NAUGHTY NORA……

Nora follows me and i follow her. In following and reading her posts, i have thought that her and i are quite similar. i have never met her in person and likely never will, but i feel like we were both cut from the same cloth! When i read her posts, i could see myself in those same situations, same opinions, and having the same thoughts.

Today she wrote a post that after reading it, i couldn’t help but think, “That’s me! That is SO me! i SO could have written this myself!” To the point, i asked her if i could reblog it and she agreed. So after gaining her approval to reblog this, i am doing just that!

i do want to add a bit of commentary too (of course, i have to give you my specific spin on this, right?? )…..

The only part of what Nora wrote that i would change is specific to the childhood memories. Clearly i did not have the same memory(s) as her, but i do have others that could be paralleled.

i have two specific childhood memories that come to mind…

1) At the young age of 5, my sister & i were at our (3 sisters) cousin’s house and we were playing on their tire swing in the backyard. Because there was one swing and 5-girls, our uncle (their dad) gave us exact instructions of how to take turns. And at my turn, i rode on the swing longer than i was allowed. One of my cousins went and ratted me out. My uncle made me get a switch off that tree.

The same exact tree that the tire swing hung from. He told my cousins and my sister that i would now be punished for not following the rules and they could continue without me.

i took the switch to him and was made to take down my shorts (panties stayed on), and he switched my bottom hard.

When it was complete, he made me go to my cousins and sister and apologize. It was humiliating to have them know what happened, but i knew it was earned … and deserved… too.

2) At the age of 11, i was in 6th grade and that was middle school. We lived in a very small town that still believed in and allowed teachers to spank the kids as deemed appropriate and necessary. It was in my Language Arts/English class that the male teacher (my first ever male teacher in my student life), instructed me to stop talking. i did not. At the third time he told me to stop, he also added, “You have interrupted our class 3 times now, and I have told you 3 times to be silent. Because you have failed to do so, meet me in the hall.” Everyone knew that if you were sent to the hall, there was a 50/50 chance to be paddled or to be spared and receive a “second chance.”

i stood in the hall for a couple of minutes waiting. People walked by and while they didn’t know what i’d done to land myself in that position, they knew why i was standing there.

He came out and questioned my decisions. i had no answers other than, “i don’t know why i did that.” And he said, “since I told you 3 times and you failed to listen, I think paddling is in order now. Another warning doesn’t seem like it would have any impact on you at all. Bend over and grab your ankles. You’ll receive 3 swats of my paddle now. Count them out.”

And he let them rip. I almost cried as the first landed on my rear. It was so fresh and ripe that it caused me to slip forward on the toes of my feet. i had to take a step forward to not fall on my face. And again. And again. Tears were very fresh in my eyes, but i refused to give him the satisfaction of letting them fall.

When he was done, he said i could return to my seat. Of course, i had a chair in the back of the room and had to pass by all my friends as i reentered the room. i didn’t do a thing the rest of that hour, except dwell on the spanking. Additionally, the remainder of the year i had a complete distain and loathing for that teacher.

But i also knew…. he was right. i didn’t stop talking, even after 3 times being told to and i didn’t show a bit of respect for his authority either. So ultimately, i also had to agree that “another warning” would not have made an impact. So frankly, a spanking had the impact he was looking for and had a biggggggg impact. i knew it then and i still know it now.

Obviously both of these early spankings had an impact on me since i STILL remember them clearly all these years later. And what i would ultimately tell you now is that…. it is effective. It does work.

So with that commentary – read the rest of Nora’s account, substituting my memories in place of hers, and trust that absolutely everything else, i could’ve written myself….. including being the one to pick out the crazy devices that will ultimately be used against me and also against my (cut-from-the-same-cloth) fellow blogger Naught Nora!

(Thank you Nora for the well-written post and for allowing me the pleasure of reblogging your post!)

Hugs ~

Marie

I have a love/hate relationship with spanking and corporal punishment.  On the one hand, I fantasize about it constantly.  My fantasies typically …A glutton for punishment #NSFW, 18+

112 – It’s a Match!

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We had SO much fun. We are in love! Ok, ok… maybe not love… yet anyway. Lol. Our First Date night was super Amazing!

While you never know how much truth are in people’s words, i tend to believe they thought the same as we did. Because if they didn’t think it was a great evening, they likely would not have messaged us before the night was over (or taken an aloof demeanor, which they did not). But they did indeed respond!

They messaged about how they loved the evening, they were attracted to us, and asked about when can we meet again. i’d say they had as much fun as we did!

At the risk of jinxing it all, i’d venture to say that this was the best first date we’ve ever had. NO, we did NOT have sex. i already told you we wouldn’t do that and we did not.

We met at a quite nice, elegant steakhouse. And, thanks to COVID, we enjoyed a relatively secluded table where we talked and laughed continuously. (See COVID is good for some things! Ok, agreed, not much!! Lol).

We talked about family life, work life, and also sexual life. And i found it interesting how we would flow from one topic to another just the same as how the river flows. The conversation went where it wanted to, even over the banks a few times, caught a rock and went back upstream a slight bit too, but ultimately it just never stopped. It had a pleasant and relaxing feel, and it was nice to float along and just let the current sweep us up in it to go wherever it wanted to take us! It seemed like we were old friends who hadn’t seen one another in awhile and had lots to catch up on. And we did.

The part that gives me the most joy is the synergy that we created. If you think about how hard it is for 2- people to find a match in one another, just double that pain when there are 4 involved. i dare say the #1 thing most all open couples would say is the most challenging aspect is finding their match. It is just super hard to find four people who are like-minded and equally interested in taking a casual dinner to the next level. So i have become super alert to any signs that one (or more) are zoned out, not interested, or not having fun. i was pleased that it didn’t seem to happen (at all) for any of us.

While i think we all did, i definitely talked quite candidly. When David & i were first married he said something that i was analyzing and i asked, “did you mean this… or that??” To which he replied, “Men say what they mean and Mean what they say. Don’t read into it.” While i’m not too sure anyone – male or female – actually does that, i try to as much as possible. So i decided that if this might be a match, they needed to know our dynamic for real and without pretenses. i let them know that David is my Sir. i didn’t actually use the word “Sir,” at least not that i recall anyway. But i said things like, “i always follow his lead.” And then added things like, “and when i don’t (follow his lead), i get spanked.”

Of course, when i said that, David told them that my ass still has remnants of the Worst Spanking Everrr. i was afraid that might worry or scare them off, but i suppose better sooner than later if they do take exception to our dynamic. Instead though, it seemed to intrigue them, at least a bit anyway. (Like i said before, we already knew that she’s submissive and he’s dominant and he uses a flogger on her. So i wasn’t “too” concerned, but i do think they tend to JUST have this dynamic in the erotic/sexual way. And while that is perfectly well and good, finding out someone does this as a way of life may have been a turnoff. i was pleasantly surprised to find out it wasn’t!)

So as we were leaving and all saying our goodbyes in the parking lot, Sir told me to show them my rear end, and of course, the bruises. i was a bit embarrassed and i hesitated. While it was in an area of the lot that absolutely no one was around, i wasn’t certain he was serious at first plus it was our first date with them too. And having to turn around, lift my dress, and expose my ass meant i couldn’t see their faces or immediate reactions. i felt vulnerable.

But i did it anyway. After having to be told twice by Sir to do it. To which he didn’t miss a beat and was sure to comment on when we were in the car and headed home too. Despite several minutes having passed between actually saying goodbye and getting seated in the car, he simply stated without details, “why did you hesitate?” And i told him what i just said told you. And his response was, in a firm but non-angry tone was, “When i tell you to do something, you need to do it…. the first time.” i just said, “Yes Sir. i know.” Then he said, “hmm. I’ll remember this.” i know i will too as that is a warning to not have it happen again or else punishment may ensue.

But what was their response to seeing my exposed ass in the parking lot?? When i stood upright and turned to face them, she gave me a super compassionate hug and said, “oh no, that looks like it was painful.” In the same way a friend gives sympathy to a friend in need. But also in a way that implied that if she could, she might’ve rubbed it and kissed it to try to make it all better too. (It doesn’t hurt at all now by the way). And of course those kisses right there would likely lead to kisses elsewhere too!

But he didn’t say much at that moment. Later in messaging though, he said that seeing my exposed ass in public was a turn on and gives rise to all his favorite fantasies of having sex outdoors and/or in public. He indicated he had a desire to have the next dinner date be at a restaurant where he can sit next to me and play with my pussy under the table for the entire night. i’d love to orgasm over dinner!

i’m super excited and i can’t wait until we can see them again!

Like i said…… we may very well have met our Match!

THIS MORNING…. as we woke up, David made mention of the evening prior. And as we were talking about the success, he then said, “and you hesitated. I told you I’d remember. You need to go Assume The Position.”

Oh great. Here i thought it was ok, and just a warning, but apparently it wasn’t. i said, “Yes Sir” and did as told. But i was disappointed for sure.

When he came in the bedroom he said, “Oh good. You did as I wanted this time.” And he picked up the paddle and let one easy/warm up swat land. After just one, he asked me, “Do you want to be spanked?” And i told the truth and said, “No Sir.”

And that’s when he put the paddle down and put his hand between my legs and started to rub on my clit. He said, “Would you rather I do this instead?” So again, i told the (absolute) truth and said, “Oh Yes Sir, i would indeed!”

Then he pushed my legs up on the bed and spread them wide, giving him full access. That is when i felt his cock push deep into my pussy in one smooth move. He proceeded to give me an amazing orgasm. After which, when i thought we may be done, he pulled out of my front hole and used by back hole as well. i love it when he uses me this way! i feel so whole and complete while making him happy too. When we were both satisfied, he slapped his hand down on my ass and said, “Stay right here. Don’t move!” ….. he went and got an anal plug ready and said, “I’m going to have you wear this today. It will remind you to follow directions the first time. And when you do, GOOD things come to you when you obey the first time!”

And i went off to the shower with a smile on my face and a plug in my ass!

What more could a girl ask for?!?! ❤️❤️❤️

Hugs,

Marie

111 – Date Night!

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i am getting ready to go out to eat and drink with David. Anddddddd ….. another couple who we’ve been talking to online for a bit now.

It’s a “first date” with this couple. And really our first with any couple for almost a year now. Covid created a no-go situation for that!

So yes, this is what we do from time to time. We meet for dinner and drinks and getting to know someone(s).

And just like when single people go out on a “first date,” you get butterflies in your stomach, you hope they look like the picture they sent, you hope you don’t need to be rescued to get away fast(er) than you’d planned ……and you try to dress sexy but not slutty…. that’s how i am feeling right now.

Meeting people and having these first dates (and maybe more), brings excitement and energy to our marriage. It introduces us to new people in a fun way. It is in the open. We ALL participate …. on group messaging, on the date night(s), and the actual “committing of the deed!” If it ever happens that is!

More often than not, we don’t do anything at all with the people we meet, except dinner and drinks. Innocent. People do it all the time.

Except…. our intentions are to hopefully end up naked and all in the same bed together at some point!

This couple seem as kinky/crazy as us, so i feel it could be a good match for us to have some crazy fun with. NO we don’t have sex with people the first time we meet. So no, we won’t have sex with them tonight. But if all goes well, maybe next time or the time after that!

i discovered in the group chat just yesterday that he is Dominant and she is submissive. She is bisexual, and he is straight. He uses a flogger on her, and she likes it.

So the dynamic for us all 4-together could be just what i have now with David…. but double the fun!

i feel excited and nervous both. At the same time.

i’ll probably tell you tomorrow what happened…. if anything…. if i think we may have crazy sex one day soon or never see them again!

Stay tuned!!!!!!

Hugs and Happy Friday!

Marie