119 – Are all subs “little”? Or middle?

In thinking about and researching on submissive labels, i’ve read a lot about “littles.” And middles and older littles and younger littles and well…. all littles. i don’t know that i understood before, what it all is or means. Admittedly, i’m still not entirely sure i completely understand now even, but i suppose maybe that’s what this post is ultimately about then too.

For sake of this discussion, i’m going to just use “little” in the entire general sense… meaning all the people who think or act younger than their actual age are all “little” here. It’s just easier to use one word than every possible combination thereof. Now i know people in this space are likely cringing right now, but bear with me for just a few more minutes and hear me out. And see what ya think.

All this research of these submissive types has me wondering……

ARE ALL SUBMISSIVES LITTLE? (Again, common term “little” being used here)

As i understand it, the “little” person wants (needs!) to act in a way that is younger than their actual age, be cared for, give up control, follow directions (orders), and is typically (although not always) the sub in the relationship.

Now it made me wonder, “isn’t that a good way to describe ALL submissives?” As my Sir’s submissive wife, and all subs really do, i give up control, follow orders, and love being cared for.

Minus that part of the definition, what’s left is the “acts at an age younger than their actual” age part, which admittedly is probably THE biggest part of a little being a little. So that may be the deal breaker in my argument that ALL subs are littles. But i’d like to put forth a thought about that too, that maybe it isn’t even really an exception at all and this applies to all submissives too.

i think all submissives act a little younger than their actual age at some point, knowingly or not. Intentionally or not. What do i mean?

Well…. i give up control that i rightfully have, as the adult that i am. i give up control to make decisions, i defer to him for the rules, and i wait to be told things. i let him set the rules and tell me frequently what i can and can’t do. i do all this even though i don’t have to, but instead because i want to.

Ok, so isn’t that also what happened when you lived under the roof of your parents….when you were younger? They made the decisions and set the rules…. when to go to bed, what was for dinner, when to eat, what chores to do, approved if you went out and with whom and when to be home…. and…. they ultimately decided when you were rewarded or punished. So you were at least a little submissive (of some sort) when you were literally a little. And if it’s also now (effectively) the same thing that adults who are submissive are doing… doesn’t that seem to say all subs are littles too? (Like if A= B, and B= C, then A=C….. ??)

At the very least, aren’t all submissives “young’ish” at heart in the way we give up control to our Dom in a similar way to what we did when we lived under our parent’s roof?

Now i know much of the sub world doesn’t explore this dynamic the way some do. Ironically the ones who claim this in their world seem to me to be the adult-grown-up ones. Why do i say that? Well, you have to be mature enough to recognize it about yourself and that this is what you want… and then to also be mentally mature enough to go to that space and to make it work. That seems more intentional, and adult-like than the unaware sub. Oh i’m not saying the intentional littles are not littles (and definitely it criticizing their ability to do it), in fact, really the opposite actually. If they are alert enough to recognize this about themselves and to take action to have it in their relationship too, and to get to that mental space they need, they are really smart and i admire them for it!

i’m not sure what age that makes me really… but giving up the control that i do officially have the right to have (as an adult), kinda makes me feel little-r than i actually am.

Alright… but if that’s all i got that would make me think this label might apply to me ….. i will admit, this label doesn’t really seem to fit me much at all. (See how i experimented with the label, tried it on for size, and decided it really isn’t me at all.). So only in just the VERY loosest way, i’ll claim it… but barely.

i bet there are real “true” littles and middles of all ages who i really did make cringe a LOT now and are probably dying to set me straight. Okay, i’ll let you. 😊




  1. It’s an interesting thought! When I think of the label “little”, I associate it with age play. Most of the littles that I follow here on WordPress write about their love of children’s movies, coloring, and some write about wearing diapers and nap time and so on. In that way, I don’t identify as a little. But… I do value feeling small and protected by my Dom. I do like being shielded from the world and being able to lay my problems at his feet. In those ways, I do feel little, or at least, a younger version of myself.

    • Nora – yes! You got what I was driving at. I wasn’t trying to say all Littles are “just” how I described it, because I completely know that’s not true. And only to the extent I described it do I personally associate as a Little, which really isn’t much at all. ☺️
      Hugs! Marie

      • I worked through this topic at one point too. I do have a fondness for watching musicals and for painting. But, while I enjoy these things, I think I enjoy them as an adult person…with a nice glass of wine 🙂

  2. Not being a little, I associate littles with more age play as well. Like Nora I enjoy colouring etc..but with an adult mindset I even play dolls with girls from time to time,but from a point of nostalgia.

    I’d hazard a guess that most submissives like to feel the way you described, though many don’t attribute that to being a little. For me feeling like that is a result of being unguarded with my husband/Dom. It is the sense that I don’t have to take it all on and a deep seated trust in him. But not because a part of me longs to be a child or even childlike. The only similarities between being on my submissive bullseye and my younger self is we both aren’t jaded. My younger self because she hadn’t experienced all the crap I eventually did, and my submissive self because I let go. Therefore allowing myself to feel vulnerable, soft and willing to be someone who is in need of protection is all a byproduct of my submission & not because I consider myself a little in anyway.


    • Willie – I like what you say. Well-worded. Ultimately I too agree that Littles are age-play, I was just having fun with it and throwing out a bit different thought about it too. :). Marie

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