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Tag: marriage

90 – My Shiny New Toy

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Submission. No Comments on 90 – My Shiny New Toy

The chastity belt is seemingly something that David thinks is good…. and seems to be Christmas in July for me!

While David wasn’t happy that i can’t keep my hands off my clit (causing the need for the belt), the chastity was really my idea as a solution. So i did the research, found one and ordered it. Of course, he didn’t argue or disagree, and ultimately i got his approval prior to ordering it…. so he clearly approves the idea of it.

But then…. my mind is my own worst enemy…. i wasn’t too sure when he saw it what he’d actually think. And whether this was one of MY ideas, and NOT being very submissive at all was a question in my own mind.

i guess i am one who needs reassurance. A lot of it. And when he didn’t say much about it, i just wasn’t too sure either. And i started to doubt.

But now as the day has gone on, i can tell he does like it. He told me he “liked snapping the lock in place and knowing (he) has complete control, especially when we are apart.”

Then i sent him some pictures. And he responded with “love that!”

Just now i asked him “do you have a plan for when you will release me?”

And he said, “the 31st”….. which is 2-weeks from now. i truly think he was kidding, but maybe that’s just me kidding myself.

i did say that if “you have me in it that long, you may as just make it a permanent thing.” To which he responded with, “hmmmm”.

So maybe i’ll be in it for awhile, or maybe no time at all….. i just don’t know.

But my doubt has subsided too!

And a few hours later…..

He released me. To which i was glad because the chafing did indeed start. i could tell some adjustments were needed.

In doing research, i found a lot of belts priced from $150’ish to (quite literally) $1,000+. The $150 are made in China, and like everything there, it’s made on the cheap. The $1,000+ are custom made with lotssssss of tailoring specific measurements.

The China ones are considered to be “starter” ones, and that’s what i got. So while there’s a lot of places to adjust the fit, ultimately, it is made on the cheap and (likely) to cause chafing somewhere/sometime.

So while i made adjustments and will just take time to adjust to, David definitely decided i will wear it again but not 24/7 either.

My thoughts on chastity….

To be honest, though….. i’d kinda like to try wearing it full time. i’d like to have it put back on, the key taken away, and when i want out it has to be asked for and (clearly) approved.

Why? Well, when i had it on, it was a solid (pun intended – get it – metal is solid?!? 😂🤣) reminder that i AM submissive.

And as a submissive – i am NOT in control. And i do NOT hold the key! In fact, i (literally and figuratively!) gave that key to my Sir. And not being able to touch the most private parts of myself without permission and being allowed, feels like the ultimate submission for me.

But David disagrees. And he does not want me to wear it full time. i am a bit disappointed that’s how he feels, but he DID decide this. So as such, i need to respect and appreciate and be happy in that decision! He is my Sir and i am his submissive. And no matter what he decides about anything, even though i have the ability to share my opinions (and trust me, i do!) when his opinion is one i don’t agree with, i have to respect and abide by it in the end.

Maybe this chastity thing is just my newest shiniest toy and i need to recognize thats “all” it is or might be!

So i did not sleep in chastity.

Now today….. Sunday….

Even with David saying no to full-time, with these adjustments in place, i am back in chastity now as i type this.

Going to church on this Sunday morn.

And let’s do a check –

Bra – nope.

Steel panties – yep!

i’ll just have to see how long this goes today. i kinda hope a longgggg time. Maybe overnight and into tomorrow! 😉

Hugs,

Marie

89 – And just like that……

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. 2 Comments on 89 – And just like that……

i sit here in chastity. Watching tv. Like nothing is any different than any other day.

You could look at me and have no idea that there are new “panties” that exists under this skirt of mine. Unless of course you happen to hear the slight sound of the lock clinking against the belt as i walk, or smell the pre-cum dripping down my leg, or see the smile on my Sir’s face as he held the key and said, “try to be good today!”…..

REWIND…….

This morning i was dressing for the day…. which on the weekend has no bra and no panties as typical protocol. i was anticipating that now that it is “the weekend” that “soon” the chastity would be put on.

After taking a shower and dressing, i was doing my hair. That’s when Sir walked up behind me and pulled my skirt up. As always, i never refuse his touch so while i paused and stood still, i waited for him to decide what came next. He smiled and ran his hand over my ass in a smooth, seductive, sultry way.

And he promptly dropped my skirt and said, “aren’t you missing something?”

i knew what it was in reference to, but i still said, “what do you mean?”

And he said, “do you really think i’m going to leave you (to go play golf) with you unprotected?”

i said, “you have before.”

And he said, “yes, but that was before we got the chastity… and we both know we got it for a reason…..we both know you can’t keep your hands off of what belongs to me!”

So with equal amounts of intrepidation and excitement, i laid it out open on the bed and laid down inside the edges. So i pulled the 3-sides altogether and held it in place while handing Sir the lock (and key).

He put the lock in place, snapped it shut, and pulled out the key.

And that’s when he said, “And just like that.. I’m off to golf and you need to try to be good today!”

Like i have a choice now.

But i had a choice before and always bugged him to masturbate. And sometimes didn’t even bother to ask and just did it anyway. Of course, i paid the price with guilt, coming clean to him, and subsequent punishment. But now, instead of detective controls, we have preventative controls. It will work. Of course it will.

And to be perfectly honest… it’s not nearly as uncomfortable as i anticipated. In fact, it’s similar to wearing a (tighter) thong. We shall see if it chafes, how it’s going to be to use the bathroom, or if it causes any trouble at all today.

i’m not entirely sure what the official plan yet for how long, now permanent, or how regular i’ll be wearing these new “panties,” but for now…..i’m doing ok! And frankly, part of submission is not knowing the plan, and not needing to know the plan, and still being ok with it, and i’m ok!

So while i won’t be getting “off” today, i will be off now to find some wholesome, good hearted, “family” show to watch today.

Hugs,

Marie

Day 14: My Submissiveness

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Day 14: REAL-LIFE BDSM…How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

For me, my kinkiness is being submissive, and it is 24/7. Not “just” when having sex, which is where i think most of the fantasies come from.

In fact, i think most fantasies about D/s is specifically about slaves….and not “just a” submissive. Now i don’t want to get into an entire discussion of the differences between slave and submissive here, but suffice it to say (here) that i see a slave with a lot fewer choices than a submissive.

So slave fantasies, in my mind anyway, include stuff like having her walk naked through the streets, chained or leashed, and when at home might sleep in a cage, maybe even uses the bathroom in the backyard.

T-H-A-T is a scene. i don’t think it is real life. Or at least not anyone’s typical D-A-I-L-Y life. And not my life for sure.

And if you dial it back to “just” a submissive, i think maybe a fantasy would possibly be of a 1950’s wife, wearing only heels and an apron to cook, clean, give foot massages, and …. well…..wait on her husband’s every need.

T-H-A-T is a scene also. Not my D-A-I-L-Y life there either.

So i guess you take out (most of) these hot-naked-sex scenes and put in a lot of “Yes Sir” and “No thank you Sir”, and a lot of respectful similar words… and T-H-A-T is my daily life.

i do a lot of “waiting on my husband’s needs” in a lot of “small” servitude tasks. Like …..

– when i see he is done eating dinner and just hasn’t quite gotten up yet to put the plate away, i take it from him and do it for him. And he thanks me and i say things like, “you are most welcome Sir”.

– And if his sleep apnea machine needs to have water refilled before bed, i do that too.

– And i try to be off the phone when i get home from work and talk to him.

– And i go to bed when he does.

None of these things are rules for me (ok, so “show respect” is, but these particular things aren’t specifically listed), but i do them anyway.

And T-H-I-S is my daily life….. typically fully clothed, indoors, not on a leash. Even if i’d think it hot to do those things, that’s the fantasy. 😉

87 – Got my wish

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Sir used me in a way that pleased us both!

And i didn’t say a word to him. i just decided to trust him and be happy in it. No matter what came of it…. or didn’t. And he allowed me to orgasm over and over.

(Thank you D for your comments… it made me think about trust, about letting him be in control, and about the sub mindset…. and i appreciated it so very much!)

i’m very pleasantly happy as i go to sleep!

Hugs,

Marie

85 – My ass just shouldn’t gamble.

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Yeah, well, you guessed it… i did NOT win the double or nothing bet. My ass was sore in more ways than one yesterday!

The plug didn’t stay in… just started hurting so it came out. And i happen to think David was happy about it as he got to turn it a very bright shade of red. He said, “now the outside hurts as much as the inside! Don’t you wish you’d not gambled with your ass on the line?”

Uh yeah! Most definitely.

The double part was double the strength of his swing. It was 105 very strong smacks with the wooden paddle.

Sir seemed giddy when he said, “ok, it’s time!”

And i went to the bedroom and got into position. The wooden paddle is always placed (by me) in the small of my back for any spanking, per my instructions. He picked it up and said, “ready or not….” and the first swat hit my ass!

Ouch! No warm up was to be had!

And i started counting. It’s always hard to keep count, but it keeps me focused on something other than the pain!

My heels lifted off the floor. And he swiftly saw it and said, “put your heels back down.”.

Man this was a stupid bet on my part. i’ve never succeeded in wearing a plug that long…. what was i thinking?

Why 105? i have no idea…. but i counted. i don’t think he intended it to be 105, but when he was swinging away and he figured out i was counting (he doesn’t make me count out loud), i think it was then that he decided to stop at an “unexpected number”.

Because my ass was red and sore, i really wanted to lay on my stomach to sleep but that caused my pierced nipples to be sore. They are still tender and for 6-more weeks, David doesn’t get to touch them… healing process ya know!

Needless to say, i am extra tired tonight from not having slept much last night. At least i don’t have another spanking in store. i think i’ll try to avoid that this week! 😂

In the end though, i did gamble…. and everyone knows …. the house always wins!

Hugs,

Marie