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Tag: loving discipline life

158 – Wednesday Maintenance

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 158 – Wednesday Maintenance

Unlike the picture… i do not WANT daily maintenance but if it were to be installed, even temporarily, i am sure it would have a big (positive!) impact.

Thankfully though, we don’t typically do maintenance on “random” days. But we did this week… on Wednesday. i am usually spanked, for maintenance, on Friday. Today is Friday. i am unsure if i will be spanked again today for a second maintenance in one week or not. But i am ok if it happens.

As i have written before, maintenance doesn’t “hurt” per se. It stings super bad, and it turns my ass red. i suppose it does hurt my bottom, but it doesn’t hurt my mind. It actually helps my mind. It helps to reinforce the good. It is a reminder of how to slow down, stay in control of myself, be good, and how to submit.

But as i mentioned before, i am now telling David what i think about how to dominate me, at the time i think it. So in some ways, the Wednesday maintenance was of my own doing.

As i was showering this morning, i felt a bit “squirrelly.” i was already thinking about my crazy day ahead, things to do, remember, etc, …and worked myself up into a tizzy in a hurry.

That’s when the “creative self-dominant” side of me said, “if i was your dominant i would make you Assume the Position to be spanked. You need to calm down, be slowed down, and realize you don’t have to work yourself into this craziness all before the 8 o’clock hour!”

So i told David all these same things. And he said, “I agree and think you do need to slow down. Go Assume the Position for a maintenance session and I will be in when I am in.”

i waited in the bedroom for almost 10-full minutes before David came in. He doesn’t typically make me wait more than 1-3 minutes, but Wednesday was longer. He asked me, “Were you wondering when I would come in?”

And of course i had been, so i said, “Yes Sir.”

He said, “I wanted you to have time to sit still, do nothing, and focus on regaining self-composure and self-control.”

And with that, he proceeded by picking up the paddle (from the small of my back) and began to spank me on each butt cheek, alternating with each swat.

He told me, “You need to think about staying in position and not moving all over the place, like you typically do.” Usually i stay in position for about 5-10’ish swats, they life my upper body up to my elbows, then up to a standing position, then start dancing around. The whole time having to force myself back into position between swats. The more intense each swat is, the more i do this. He hates it! And i can see why. When i move around, he doesn’t have the control of when and where to hit the way he does when i am still.

He said, “your sole goal will be to stay in position…..still!”

And i received a very sound spanking. It was still a maintenance session and didn’t hurt me mentally, but my ass was a cherry red when he was done. It was very difficult to be still.

But i did it!!!!!

i have NEVER succeeded with this before. i have asked him many times if i could lay on the bed instead of standing bent over it, or if he could tie me into place. He has said no to both because he wants me to engage my mind and stay in the position he wants, not what i want. But when that swat lands…. it is both a sting and a shock. Oh yes, i know it is coming, but exactly when or exactly how hard. (Intensity level) is still a shock. So i end up moving all around.

But NOT TODAY! i stayed perfectly still!

At the end, David stood me up and kissed me deeply. He said, “you were such a good girl! I am so impressed and you made me very happy!”

“So lay down on the bed on your back and open your legs. I will give you a reward.”

i did as told. But man, laying on my reddened ass did not feel pleasurable! ……..but that was more than offset when his head went down between my legs and his tongue collided with my clit. It felt amazing!

He made me orgasm in just a few short minutes and i couldn’t have been happier! Some would call this a “forced orgasm,” but not me…. i gave it up willingly! Lol.

He then stood me up for the second time and kissed me deeply again. And when he pulled away he asked me, “and how does your cum taste since I just kissed you with it all over my face and tongue?”

And i said, “It felt amazing. It tasted good.”

(He has never made me taste myself, but the way he did that on Wednesday and the look on his face… it may become a more frequent thing…. who knows!)

And then we started our day from there! It is 6:20 am now… on Friday…. i am about to start my day today now too. Will report later if i have a second maintenance for the week. But if it goes like the Wednesday one, i will gladly give up another orgasm in a hurry! 😉)

Happy Friday!

Hugs,

Marie

157 – The Party on Saturday night

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 157 – The Party on Saturday night

This past Saturday we had my co-workers over to our house for a Christmas party. (Please NO comments about covid, a group gathering, masks, etc… it was my choice to invite them, they all knew the numbers AND the people who were invited AND the risk…. and yet they came anyway. Choices matter.)

Anytime we have hosted any party, ever, i get super stressed beforehand. i tend to worry about getting things made just “perfect”.. having enough food, the lay out of where to set things, enough chairs, the dogs bothering people, people mixing/mingling and having a good time.

i love the idea of hosting a party…. and we do an amazing job of it…. but … i tend to not actually enjoy any of it because i am too busy worrying, stressing, and scurrying around that i (mentally) miss most of it.

And David hates it. Not the party itself, but the way i freak out. Which usually causes us to bicker, snap at one another, or even fight beforehand.

i know i do it and i know he hates it. But i can’t control it either.

Well… i talked to David about it early-early on Saturday morning. And he happened to say, “so what can we do to change that outcome?”

This is the single question that has triggered the idea and ultimate discussion about me opening up my creative mind and telling him, “if i were in charge….”.

So i thought about it, and that’s when he was headed out to play a few holes of golf, and he said to text him my answer.

This is what i texted to him then:

As i think about your question and what we could do about me stressing out today, i hear an entire conversation in my head between us. I’ll share it with you now.

You say to me, “every time we have an event, you tend to get stressed, think you have to take over and be in charge, and you get bossy. You think that you can control the outcome of the party by controlling all aspects of it. I’ve never liked it and this time we are going to do it differently.”

You continued, “Today… we will be doing a lot of maintenance. Every hour, I will set a timer to go off at the top of the hour. When it goes off, you will immediately and without question, go to the bedroom and assume the position.

That’s when I will come in and spank you. You should expect that it WILL hurt! Every time!

I will give you 20-swats at each session. There will be no warm up. And between each one you will count and say ‘One Sir. Thank you Sir.’ And when we get to 20, we will be done until the next hour. Do you understand?”

Me, “yes Sir. How many hours will we do this?”

You, “until I decide you’ve learned how to not be bossy.”

You, “Additionally, please know that you will NOT be sexually touched or get to cum today. This is long overdue maintenance and intended to put myself in charge and you to submit. Not for you to be pleasured.”

“Finally, you will make a butt plug ready for me to insert. I intend to put it in at some point near the end of the maintenance sessions but you may end up being spanked with it in at some point as well. And you will likely wear it through the end of the party as a constant reminder that you are NOT to be bossy at any point!”

Me: Yes Sir. Thank you for your leadership and taking the time to spank me today.

After writing that to him, i waited for a response.

His only words back were, “I like that.”

Now what REALLY happened was…….

When David got home from golf a bit later, i was busy putting out plates, silverware, and the like, when he said, “let’s start that maintenance now. Go Assume the Position and I will be there in a bit.”

Me: Yes Sir. And i did.

That position he always wants me in to be spanked is….

– No clothes (at all), feet on the floor, spread shoulder width apart, bent over onto the bed from the waist up,

– head facing the bed or a pillow, palms facing down onto the bed, and with my arms laying up above my head,

– most importantly – the paddle resting in the small of my back.

As the way our bed sits, my back is then to the door. i hear the door open, but i can not see it or him. But i know he’s there.

His words upon seeing me in position were, “Now that’s my good girl! Exactly the way things are supposed to be.”

Because he is still in control and my Sir, he didn’t spank me the way i described above in the text. Instead, he did some small “love pats,” or warm-up swats. i received around 50 of them. While a few were slightly more powerful, not even one had any real force behind it. That said, the sting was felt and definitely made the impact Sir was seeking for it to do. It achieved the goal in no time at all.

The sting of the paddle hitting the same (general) area 50-times starts to build and it turns my butt very hot and very red. But these types of swats usually do not cause ANY bruising whatsoever, and is very impactful (mentally AND physically!)

While giving me this spanking, he did not make me count. Rather the opposite. He talked to me………

He said, “You don’t need to stress.” (Smack).

“You know it does nothing useful.” (Smack).

“You aren’t in control, I am.” (Smack).

“You need to trust that I am in control too.” (Smack).

“For the rest of the day, if you are stressing out, you need to stop and breathe. And slow yourself down.” (Smack).

“If I see you stressing today, I am going to first give you a warning. I suggest you heed it.” (Smack).

“Because if you start to stress today, or tonight at this party, and you don’t get yourself under control, I will assert my control instead and get you under control myself.” (Smack).

“We both know this is effective. Don’t we??” (Smack)

[i responded. “Yes Sir.]

“I will make you come to the bedroom and we will repeat this as much as is needed.” (Smack).

“Don’t even think of testing me, because I WILL do it all day long and even tonight with guests in our home.” (Smack)

“You wouldn’t want your co-workers to wonder why you’ve disappeared and hear the paddle falling on your ass, would you?” (Smack)

“I will spank you all afternoon and night in order to make you slow down and regain your composure if i need to, but i believe this preemptive discussion will curb most of that behavior.” (Smack, SMACK)

“Don’t you think so too?” (Smack… smack… SMACK!)

Me: Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.

So while turning my ass a bright red, getting very warm to the touch, and talking aloud to me, i heard his message loud and clear.

i didn’t receive another spanking all day… or night! Thank Goodness. Because while he hasn’t actually done anything “Dom-like” in front of others, so i don’t know if he would have spanked DURING the party for all to hear, i feel like testing him on this isn’t a wise-move either!

i did receive a verbal warning at one point in the afternoon though. He said, “I’m detecting stress in your voice. Is that an accurate assessment??”

i hadn’t even noticed it, but his words weren’t lost on me. And he was right! i took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and said, “Yes Sir.”

He said, “Are you able to change that on your own?”

And i said, “i believe so.”

To which he responded, “Good Girl.”

And i did. And we were both pleased!

So while i started out in the morning telling him how i wanted him to dominate me, he did an even better job of taking my ideas and implementing the parts that he felt were needed and tailoring it to him!

This is an example of how i think we will operate in the coming days with me speaking up about how he could or should treat (dominate) me and how i should respond (submit).

By the way… the party was amazing. We had a great time! People were smiling and laughing and ……..happy. Something i haven’t seen a lot of this year.

We all need to find something good in 2020 or at least to be happy about, even if it’s simply that the 2020 year is coming to an end!

And for some of us, finding the happy is a real struggle! i get it. The last 6’ish weeks have been a real struggle and David/i have had more disagreements than we’ve had in several years combined!

But maybe we are turning it around and ending the year on a good and happy note. Scratch the word maybe in that last sentence. We ARE ending the year positively. i hope you can too!

Hugs,

Marie

152 – Change. Or is it Process Improvement ?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 152 – Change. Or is it Process Improvement ?

Change is hard. No one likes it. It is a big, mean, scary monster that rears its ugly head every so often and we don’t like it.

But what if you heard the words, “Process Improvement,”……….. would that make it less big, mean, or scary? Would you be able to embrace it better?

Think about it, no one C-H-A-N-G-E-S anything for the express purpose of making it worse. We make changes trying to make things better. While the old adage of, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” is generally true….. sometimes it can still be improved. Maybe a fix isn’t what is needed, but improvement might be.

THIS is what i would say is happening in my marriage right now. We are doing “Process Improvement.” Nothing too major, and we aren’t fixing what ain’t broke, but we are tweaking things. We are improving things.

So we aren’t abandoning any of our old ways, lifestyle, or DD. We are just improving it.

i told you that November is historically a bad month for us. We fight in November probably more than all the other months combined! i don’t even think David realizes that the month on the calendar ….. November …. is the common denominator. But i do.

This past week, i set out to C-H-A-N-G-E things. Or … said in a nicer, more palatable way…. to IMPROVE things.

One thing i realized was that we were both feeling under-appreciated. And as such, we wanted the other to DO something to or for the other to make it better. (We both wanted the other to C-H-A-N-G-E!)

i decided to stop waiting to be the one to receive it, and to be the one to give it. (Tis better to give than to receive… right?… okay, that’s the saying for December, and we are still in THANKFUL November… so back to NOVEMBER…)

Ya know though, the funny thing about giving is that typically you do indeed end up receiving. What goes around, comes around. Give out the good and the good comes back to you.

It started with me making a spontaneous breakfast for both David and i on Thursday. On Friday, i texted him saying, “I was just thinking about you. I hope your day is good. I love you.” Nothing big at all, and certainly not expensive, but still meaningful.

And on Saturday, he asked me to go out and play golf with him. Now this may sound minor, it was actually HUGE….. because he plays EVERY Saturday with the guy friends and he/i play on (some) Sunday afternoons.

i said, “Aren’t you playing with the guys?”

And he said, “The weather is going to be perfect and I thought it would be nice to play with you.”

He chose me over all the other men on a Saturday.

There was NO way i was saying no! So we went to play. And the weather was amazing and we enjoyed the day together. And we both played good too (an added bonus!)

And when we got home he said, “We haven’t done maintenance in several weeks. Don’t you think it’s needed?”

Now i know maintenance spankings work. And i know it probably was needed. But i don’t actually like being spanked. i like giving up control, knowing i submit to my husband, and knowing how well it works. But i don’t like the actual spanking itself.

So i was immediately annoyed.

i was thinking, “why ruin a perfectly good day with that? Besides, i am in the middle of doing something else now too.”

i was thinking of the loophole here too.

He didn’t say we had to do it right NOW. In fact, he asked me about it. He didn’t tell me to go assume the position even!?!?

He saw me roll my eyes and asked about it. He said, “what are you thinking?” i spoke my mind and told him all the things in my head.

He tilted his head and said, “You know what I meant.” And i did. He was right. i just didn’t like or want it at that moment.

So i got up and went to the bedroom. He followed me. He got out the paddle and stood at the end of the bed.

And he watched me undress. While i have undressed and/or been naked in front of him 1,000+ times in our marriage, when you do it while someone is staring at you, with a paddle in their hand, waiting on you…. it’s a bit humiliating and intimidating.

And maybe it is supposed to be that way.

Because in that fine razor point moment, i dropped the attitude and showed the submissive heart that i needed (and ultimately wanted) to too.

And i was spanked. For the first time in several weeks…. maybe in all of November even.

Afterward, we sat and talked a bit about all the fighting and even the bickering we had had lately. (And it hurt to sit on my red bottom then!). We talked about ways to avoid the fights in the future.

At Missy’s advice, i suggested we implement the red light system for fights in the same way we have it for discipline. Green is all good to go, yellow is slow it down as this is not going in the right direction, and red is stop right now. This system can, and hopefully will, be used by both of us to not have disagreements escalate in the first place.

But we also talked about times when we get mad anyway. When he is getting mad at me because of things i am saying (or yelling) what to do then. Because he doesn’t want to ever spank when he’s mad (because he may lose control at that point), we agreed he would tell me to go stand in the corner until i calm down enough to speak my words without the negative tone. Or he will tell me to write out what i have to say on paper, where he will read it and determine a response. Both of these cause me to take a pause and to reflect further before spewing anger everywhere.

And if i am just so mad (and stubborn) that i refuse to do these things, then he will flat out ignore me until i calm down. At which time, i will go assume the spanking position and prepare for a bad punishment. i will not be punished for what i wanted or was trying to say (aka: what i was mad about), but rather for failure to submit to the directive of standing in the corner or writing it out calmly. And then after that, we will also deal with “the issue” at hand causing the anger in the first place.

He agreed these were all smarter ways to deal with our anger than what we have been doing in the month of November.

So…. we are tweaking things. Making changes… or rather… Process Improvements!

i am encouraged… and THANKFUL…. For so many wonderful, things in my life…. including my best friend, head of house, and dominant husband to whom i submit to.

Next time you think about C-H-A-N-G-E, think about it positively with the notion that things are just I-M-P-R-O-V-I-N-G… and embrace it! It just might come full circle where the good you put out, comes back to you 10-fold greater!

Hugs,

Marie

108 – Complete work of fiction. #2.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Fiction, Submission. No Comments on 108 – Complete work of fiction. #2.

If you didn’t read the first Complete Work of Fiction #1, you should probably do so before reading this one…. as this is a continuation of Part 1 and may/may not make sense as a stand alone post.

i couldn’t help but wonder, “How many? How will this go? Should i be excited or worried or both? And when will i know more details……….”

ONE WEEK BEFORE……

My 50th birthday was just a week away and David promised to make it one i’d never forget. All he’d told me so far was there would be multiple people who will feast on Me for Thanksgiving! What does that even mean???

i mean my 50th IS on Thanksgiving but i never expected to have a big “feast” with ME being the featured entree of the day! But it seems through all the hints he’s dropped that THAT may in fact be what happens!

And then he announced, “No more masturbation or orgasms for you until your birthday. You are to only touch yourself to shower and clean. We have to have you good and ready! But I will edge you daily.”

Oh great… a week of edging and no orgasms…. i sure hope this is worth it! And edging that he is in charge of too!

And without fail… as we were headed to bed, he would say, “open your legs.” And he played with my clit until i was begging to come. And he’d stop. He waited 10-minutes, to the point i thought maybe he’s done and that’s all, and he would repeat. He did this varying numbers of minutes and repeats for the entire week. i was SO ready to orgasm! But true to his word, he didn’t allow it.

ONE DAY BEFORE……

i was getting more and more anxious with not knowing a whole lot of what to expect. David really hadn’t told me much more about Thanksgiving. And every time i asked he would say, “Don’t worry your pretty little head. I have it all taken care of.”

When i asked what i needed to do, his response was, “Be yourself. Your submissive self, the GOOD GIRL, submissive self that we both know you are… and to which I ABSOLUTELY LOVE!”

Yes Sir.

THE MORNING OF…

(The rest of this will be from what i think would be what he may say and think… From his point of view now… of course this is my idea of what he may say, so this may or may not be how he would actually respond… but i did say “Complete work of Fiction”)……

I woke her up and said, “Happy Birthday my love!” And handed her a cup of her favorite coffee.

Marie opened her eyes and said, “Thank you Sir,” and took a sip. While she was drinking, I told her to get completely naked and prepare herself for her birthday spanking. She knows it won’t be a punishment, instead it will be rather a FUN-ishment.

I said, “Drink your coffee and enjoy. I’m leaving the room now. When you are done enjoying coffee, you are close the door promptly Assume The Position and wait for my return. To receive your Birthday spanking of course!”

I heard her say, “Yes Sir,” which just happen to be my favorite words! And I left the room.

I knew it wouldn’t take long and she’d close the bedroom door. So I did a few things around the house and sure enough the door closed. I intentionally made her wait a full 15-more minutes. I know she prays while she waits and given it is her 50th birthday and Thanksgiving too, I wanted to give her plenty of time to pray for all the things she’s Thankful for.

I knew I wanted to start AND end the day with her seeing and hearing my voice. So I knew I needed to spank her first thing to remind her just who she ultimately belongs to, and to be on her best behavior today, but also to get her into the right mindset for the remainder of the day too!

When I entered our room I saw the sight I so very much love… she had Assumed The Position! This is especially my favorite on days like today when she’s not here because of trouble! My loving submissive wife, bent over and waiting for me. And in the small of her back lay my paddle.

I picked up the paddle and swung lightly. She moved and let out a small sound.

I said, “Are you ready to have an amazing birthday?”

“Yes Sir!”

I said, “Great! We are going to give you a Birthday spanking now. You are 50, so there will be 50 swats in total. But you are not in trouble and since we don’t want you worn out before the day’s activities even really begin, it won’t be too hard! And I want you to count them out for me too.”

“Yes Sir” is all I heard. And so I begun.

When we got to 15 she was squirming more than I wanted and I gave her a second to gain her composure. I also reminded her we weren’t even half way yet.

She said, “But Sir, it’s already stinging.”

And I said, “I understand but I want you to be a good girl and ring in your 50’s with me standing right here behind you.”

While I admit, it did take me awhile to truly get on board with this while D/s with DD lifestyle that she asked for a few years back, it has changed our marriage for the better. And today especially, I wanted her to know how much I love being her Sir.

She said, “Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

“Good Girl! You make me so happy. Let’s get to the Big 5-0!”

SWAT SWAT SWAT… And so we continued!

All along the way, I said things to her to reassure her of my love like, “You are such an amazing wife!”

SWAT

“Thank you Sir. Twenty-five Sir.”

SWAT

And I said, “You are doing an amazing job of being my submissive wife. I love this lifestyle we have created together.”

SWAT

“Me too Sir. Thirty-five Sir.”

Then I said, “You like being my slut submissive wife, don’t you?”

[Time out: i haven’t told you about my opinions on the word “slut”…. and i will in a full post. But suffice it to say here that the definition of it is “a woman with many sexual partners,”… and from my previous escapades, you know i have had sex with others. SO… if the shoe fits, wear it! Oh – and remember – this is fiction! So now the story can continue…..]

S-W-A-T. I won’t deny…..I made that one be a bit more intense on purpose.

She called out, “Forty Sir. Thank you Sir. Yes, Sir, i do love being your Submissive wife.”

S-W-A-T. That one was a bit harder too, only because she intentionally didn’t answer my question and we both knew it.

“I didn’t say ‘submissive wife,’ I said ‘Submissive SLUT wife’. Say it out loud. Admit it. You know you want to!”

SWAT

“Forty-five Sir. Thank you Sir. Yes, i love being your submissive slut wife!”

We both know she likes being called the word “slut” and for some strange reason it turns her on. But only when we are in a scene or doing something sexual. I’d never dare say it to her otherwise, as i truly love her too much for that! But she hates saying it herself. I think because when she does say it, she has to own it.

So I continued to make her say she was my submissive slut wife. And to acknowledge that’s what she wanted to be all day today on her 50th birthday. I could tell the whole thing was getting her super wet between the legs too, so for many reasons, I knew she liked it!

SWAT.

Then I heard, “FORTY-NINE SIR.”

“Last one my submissive, slut wife….. got to make it count!”

SLAM!

“Owwwww!” And she yelled out, “FIFTY SIR. THANK YOU SIR!!!”

I pulled her up from the bed and hugged her so tight. I told her, “You are so strong and so amazing! I love you SO much my good girl!”

Then I kissed her heavy and full. And I laid her oh-so-gently and tenderly onto the bed. I knew her ass was sore. But I also knew how she loved my tongue too!

I spread her legs wide and went down on her clit folds. My tongue moved around this clit that I know so well. We’ve been together for over 25-years now and she has always loved how well my tongue laps at her clit.

In no time at all, she was asking me to come. I stopped immediately and said, “OH NO! You don’t get that pleasure just yet my dear. I need you to be ready for what is coming up next. You know it’s too soon!”

She was on the edge from no orgasms for a week now. But I wanted her to wait just a bit longer too. She pouted. I knew she would though, so I was ready!

So I pulled her up and turned her over onto her stomach. I pulled up from the hips and got her onto her knees. I grabbed the lube and spread it onto my finger and into her ass. I finger-fucked her a minute and told her, “I’m going to take you in the ass now. I’m doing this because you typically don’t orgasm from anal penetration and I do NOT want you to come. So I’m going to use your ass and fill it with my seed. Is this ok by you?”

She responded, “Yes of course Sir! You know i love anal and especially when i get to come. Please use me Sir.”

I reminded her that, “I will come this morning, but you will not. I’m aware you want to. And you be used a lot and you can come freely at that time. But not now. Not yet. Do I make myself understood?”

And when she said, “Yes Sir,” I pushed my hard cock deep into her ass. I typically take it slow and easy at first, but I didn’t want to give it to her that way today. I knew if I pushed hard and fast I could use this moment to get myself off and not give her enough time to do so herself. So that’s what I did!

Damn her ass looked and felt so good. It had been awhile since I’d taken her from behind. So I started pushing in and out rather quickly! She was moaning and begging to come, to which I denied. That got us both even more turned on too!

That’s when I asked her, “Who do you belong to?”

“You Sir”

“And what are you?”

“Your submissive Sir.”

“My Submissive WHAT?”

“Your submissive slut wife Sir.”

“That’s my good girl!”

As I said those words, I slammed my cock deep into her ass and exploded. I held myself there for just a second while my cock released all I had deep into her. I loved this position and this look. I loved being RIGHT HERE!

When I pulled out, I turned her (gently) onto her back again and lowered myself down between her legs to rest upon her body. I put my elbows on the bed and wrapped my hands around her head to stroke her hair. My body surrounded her fully.

That’s when I looked square in her eyes and told her, “Marie, you are the love of my life and I am proud to be your husband. I love you so much! Happy Birthday my good girl!”

And I kissed her deep and passionately.

While we could’ve stayed her for a long time. I knew we had to start the day. So I pulled us both up off the bed, and I asked, “okay, so, you ready to truly start the day? To have an amazing birthday??”

She said, “well Sir, i think it’s already gotten off to an amazing start… except of course that you didn’t allow me to orgasm when you did……. [insert pouty face here] …… But honestly, i’m not too sure about the rest of today since i’m not entirely sure what to expect!”

I knew she was nervous. She’s not used to not knowing anything at all. So I gave her a bit of reassurance by saying, “Don’t worry. You will get to orgasm plenty! Just do as you are told and the rest of this day will be A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!”

That’s when I told her to get in the shower. And she was to ensure every bit of hair from her neck down, excluding her arms of course, was shaven away clean.

Marie asked, “is there anything particular i should wear today?”

And I responded with, “it will be laying on the bed when you are out of the shower.”

TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN……

OKAY my friends – So just writing this, i can tell i got myself wet between the legs. i know i can’t (and i won’t) touch myself…. because that is one of my rules. But maybe i can convince David to do it…. maybe! 😉

Hugs,

Marie

107 – One Year (and a Day) ago.

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One year (and one day) ago, i wrote post #39 about Domestic Discipline – in life. And i think it’s interesting that i was thinking about life, marriage, DD, etc this morning…. one year (and a day) later. So it got me to reflecting back and comparing the past or the present.

So after rereading that blog and i see how things have changed…. AND stayed the same. There’s a lot of both!

Just to make it easy to know what i’m referring to, and without flipping back and forth, here’s a screenshot of how it started……

Starting at the top, if i were to write those same paragraphs now, with TODAY’s opinions (but same gist)….. this is how the post would NOW go……..

i know i almost always talk about our lifestyle with reference to sex…..and spanking….. while that can and sometimes is a big part of it, it really isn’t JUST that. It’s more than that. In fact, it’s a daily activity. It’s something that never stops.

Ultimately i’d say that our Domestic Discipline (DD) life is more about showing respect and kindness than anything else. Especially from me to David, but it definitely goes in reverse too. And while this is something that everyone should do, but people frequently just don’t. (In fact, i think the world could use more of it … but that’s a whole other post altogether!)

Before DD, David would frequently tell me that i don’t “respect” him. i always thought i did, and in fact, i still think that. But now i know what i didn’t do then, but do now, is SHOW it to him. i speak with gentler and kinder words now than i ever did before. Instead of saying things like, “Will you take out the trash?” i now say something more like, “i would love it if you’d take the trash to the garage when you could, please Sir.” That’s not tremendously different, but it IS different. i make a point to let him know how much i would LOVE his help. But i don’t assume i’ll get it. Whereas before, i assumed he would do it so my words were more of a commandment than a question.

And i also ask with a “please.” Because ultimately it is his decision to do (or not) do it and please is the word to ASK for help, rather than just assume it is there. Where before DD, i just expected him to do it and while i’d word it in the form of a question, it was more of an expectation and a command rather than a true question. Now, it is truly a question, and while i am hopeful (and it is probable) that he will help, i know he might not. And if he doesn’t, i have to be ok with his decision too.

Now it’s really in the second paragraph (referring to the screenshot above from a year ago) that i see the biggest differences from then to now. And paragraphs 2 &3 are essentially the same, just more detail really. So here is today’s version…….

i used to say i would be much stricter than Sir. i know that we are really in sync now though… most days anyway. He’s grown in the last year as the leader of our house, and has ultimately gotten stricter. But i have also grown in my submission to him and more accepting of his leadership too. So we have effectively met in the middle! We both know the expectations… and consequences…. quite clearly. And he’s not afraid or shy or otherwise reserved to implement the consequences either.

(i think it’s maybe a tad hard to read all italics all the time, so i’m going to flip back to standard font, but otherwise, simply continuing on…..).

Some (even “many”) DD relationships have written rules. While we have rules, they aren’t written. We don’t have an official contract or signed agreement. While i can certainly see the benefit of this, when we first started this, neither of us knew what we wanted. i’d even say that at the time, this lifestyle was likely more of an experiment than a lifestyle. And while we may have had intentions of it being a lifestyle, it may have been like other things (diet and exercise for example), that you start strong and it fades away. So putting rules or an agreement in place wasn’t really possible, when all we had was a pen and a blank piece of paper in front of us. So you might say we had to experiment a bit first to find the right fit.

And perhaps it was the lack of a contract that has caused us to have a bit of a rocky start too…..where i thought he should be more strict and he didn’t think i even knew what i was asking for. But with or without a contract, in any good marriage of any lifestyle preference, communication is key.

We don’t always get it right…. no one does though. But we do strive to have effective communication always. Sometimes i struggle to find the right way to speak in a submissive tone, especially when i am stressed, angry, or adamant about a topic. This too is a learning process for both of us and likely always will be.

The biggest area of communication that causes the most strife for us typically starts with David speaking to me where he uses words that sound like i have a choice. The problem lies when i can’t tell if it is a true choice or not. Instead of telling me to do something, he might phrase it where it is optional.

For example, if we were to be having dinner out at a restaurant, David might say something like, “I think you need to get ready to go.” Now that’s not too confusing. While worded like a thought or his opinion, it’s really him informing me to go do it. This is especially true if i knew we were having dinner out. But say i was intending to wear what i had on at that moment out, what does that mean now? i thought i WAS ready, but now he is clearly indicating he doesn’t think so.

So now i have worked to communicate, in a respectful tone, my confusion. i’d probably say something like, “Please Sir could you use more direct words? i am not understanding your intentions.”

And he might would then say, “You are dressed too casual for the restaurant we are going to. You should wear pants (or a dress) rather than the shorts you have on.”

Now it’s clear to me. And i will get up and go change. Right then. I’d do it right then because that too shows respect. i find his directive something of importance to be followed RIGHT THEN and he appreciates that. So in this case, actions speak louder than words in expressing my respect towards him.

So back to the contract part…. we didn’t draft one at the start because we didn’t even know what it might would contain. And now, it kinda seems unnecessary. i know the rules. Again, they aren’t written, but like anything in life … you figure out what you can/can’t do or what you should/shouldn’t do. So my rules are ultimately still very clearly me.

i am to: be respectful, use kind words, never assume he will do something just because i ask, make my body available to him when he wants, do not touch myself in a sexual way without his permission, do not assume his body is available to me without asking permission, and orgasms have to be allowed (i have to ask first!) before i do so. And if these things are not done, expect consequences….. or said plainly: punishment…. in various forms, but primarily spanking.

And again, David isn’t afraid to enforce the rules. Nor is he remorseful about enforcing the rules. He will say something like, “You knew what to do. You didn’t do it. You know the consequences. So I’ll administer that now. And it will be over and done.”

Because ultimately, i’d tell you that while he enforces things, it’s the submissive who has control….. control to do as we have both agreed. Or to accept the consequences. i still have a lot of control, even though it may not seem like it at first.

So in reflecting from One Year (and a Day) ago to today…. i’m happy to say this IS a lifestyle, and also happy to say that i am NOT more strict than David. And instead, David is firmly in control. And always prepared to administer punishment if i don’t make wise decisions. And i love my discipline life!

The more things change….. the more they stay the same!

Hugs,

Marie