This past Saturday we had my co-workers over to our house for a Christmas party. (Please NO comments about covid, a group gathering, masks, etc… it was my choice to invite them, they all knew the numbers AND the people who were invited AND the risk…. and yet them came anyway. Choices matter.)
Anytime we have hosted any party, ever, i get super stressed beforehand. i tend to worry about getting things made just “perfect”.. having enough food, the lay out of where to set things, enough chairs, the dogs bothering people, people mixing/mingling and having a good time.
i love the idea of hosting a party…. and we do an amazing job of it…. but … i tend to not actually enjoy any of it because i am too busy worrying, stressing, and scurrying around that i (mentally) miss most of it.
And David hates it. Not the party itself, but the way i freak out. Which usually causes us to bicker, snap at one another, or even fight beforehand.
i know i do it and i know he hates it. But i can’t control it either.
Well… i talked to David about it early-early on Saturday morning. And he happened to say, “so what can we do to change that outcome?”
So i thought about it, and that’s when he was headed out to play a few holes of golf, and he said to text him my answer.
This is what i texted to him then:
As i think about your question and what we could do about me stressing out today, i hear an entire conversation in my head between us. I’ll share it with you now.
You say to me, “every time we have an event, you tend to get stressed, think you have to take over and be in charge, and you get bossy. You think that you can control the outcome of the party by controlling all aspects of it. I’ve never liked it and this time we are going to do it differently.”
You continued, “Today… we will be doing a lot of maintenance. Every hour, I will set a timer to go off at the top of the hour. When it goes off, you will immediately and without question, go to the bedroom and assume the position.
That’s when I will come in and spank you. You should expect that it WILL hurt! Every time!
I will give you 20-swats at each session. There will be no warm up. And between each one you will count and say ‘One Sir. Thank you Sir.’ And when we get to 20, we will be done until the next hour. Do you understand?”
Me, “yes Sir. How many hours will we do this?”
You, “until I decide you’ve learned how to not be bossy.”
You, “Additionally, please know that you will NOT be sexually touched or get to cum today. This is long overdue maintenance and intended to put myself in charge and you to submit. Not for you to be pleasured.”
“Finally, you will make a butt plug ready for me to insert. I intend to put it in at some point near the end of the maintenance sessions but you may end up being spanked with it in at some point as well. And you will likely wear it through the end of the party as a constant reminder that you are NOT to be bossy at any point!”
Me: Yes Sir. Thank you for your leadership and taking the time to spank me today.
After writing that to him, i waited for a response.
His only words back were, “I like that.”
Now what REALLY happened was…….
When David got home from golf a bit later, i was busy putting out plates, silverware, and the like, when he said, “let’s start that maintenance now. Go Assume the Position and I will be there in a bit.”
Me: Yes Sir. And i did.
That position he always wants me in to be spanked is….
– No clothes (at all), feet on the floor, spread shoulder width apart, bent over onto the bed from the waist up,
– head facing the bed or a pillow, palms facing down onto the bed, and with my arms laying up above my head,
– most importantly – the paddle resting in the small of my back.
As the way our bed sits, my back is then to the door. i hear the door open, but i can not see it or him. But i know he’s there.
His words upon seeing me in position were, “Now that’s my good girl! Exactly the way things are supposed to be.”
Because he is still in control and my Sir, he didn’t spank me the way i described above in the text. Instead, he did some small “love pats,” or warm-up swats. i received around 50 of them. While a few were slightly more powerful, not even one had any real force behind it. That said, the sting was felt and definitely made the impact Sir was seeking for it to do. It achieved the goal in no time at all.
The sting of the paddle hitting the same (general) area 50-times starts to build and it turns my butt very hot and very red. But these types of swats usually do not cause ANY bruising whatsoever, and is very impactful (mentally AND physically!)
While giving me this spanking, he did not make me count. Rather the opposite. He talked to me………
He said, “You don’t need to stress.” (Smack).
“You know it does nothing useful.” (Smack).
“You aren’t in control, I am.” (Smack).
“You need to trust that I am in control too.” (Smack).
“For the rest of the day, if you are stressing out, you need to stop and breathe. And slow yourself down.” (Smack).
“If I see you stressing today, I am going to first give you a warning. I suggest you heed it.” (Smack).
“Because if you start to stress today, or tonight at this party, and you don’t get yourself under control, I will assert my control instead and get you under control myself.” (Smack).
“We both know this is effective. Don’t we??” (Smack)
[i responded. “Yes Sir.]
“I will make you come to the bedroom and we will repeat this as much as is needed.” (Smack).
“Don’t even think of testing me, because I WILL do it all day long and even tonight with guests in our home.” (Smack)
“You wouldn’t want your co-workers to wonder why you’ve disappeared and hear the paddle falling on your ass, would you?” (Smack)
“I will spank you all afternoon and night in order to make you slow down and regain your composure if i need to, but i believe this preemptive discussion will curb most of that behavior.” (Smack, SMACK)
“Don’t you think so too?” (Smack… smack… SMACK!)
Me: Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.
So while turning my ass a bright red, getting very warm to the touch, and talking aloud to me, i heard his message loud and clear.
i didn’t receive another spanking all day… or night! Thank Goodness. Because while he hasn’t actually done anything “Dom-like” in front of others, so i don’t know if he would have spanked DURING the party for all to hear, i feel like testing him on this isn’t a wise-move either!
i did receive a verbal warning at one point in the afternoon though. He said, “I’m detecting stress in your voice. Is that an accurate assessment??”
i hadn’t even noticed it, but his words weren’t lost on me. And he was right! i took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and said, “Yes Sir.”
He said, “Are you able to change that on your own?”
And i said, “i believe so.”
To which he responded, “Good Girl.”
And i did. And we were both pleased!
So while i started out in the morning telling him how i wanted him to dominate me, he did an even better job of taking my ideas and implementing the parts that he felt were needed and tailoring it to him!
This is an example of how i think we will operate in the coming days with me speaking up about how he could or should treat (dominate) me and how i should respond (submit).
By the way… the party was amazing. We had a great time! People were smiling and laughing and ……..happy. Something i haven’t seen a lot of this year.
We all need to find something good in 2020 or at least to be happy about, even if it’s simply that the 2020 year is coming to an end!
And for some of us, finding the happy is a real struggle! i get it. The last 6’ish weeks have been a real struggle and David/i have had more disagreements than we’ve had in several years combined!
But maybe we are turning it around and ending the year on a good and happy note.
Scratch the word maybe in that last sentence. We ARE ending the year positively. i hope you can too!