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Tag: domestic discipline

70 – insecurity and reassurance needed

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If you think i am confident in my own skin, lifestyle, and person… you are mostly right, but like everyone, sometimes doubt creeps in and i question everything. Okay, maybe not “everything”, but still.

Today was one of those days.

i reallyyyyyyy like my nipple piercings. (If you haven’t already, read this post first — > Happy Birthday to Sir).

i did both of them. It didn’t hurt nearly like i expect either during or now after. In fact, they don’t really hurt at all sometimes and i forgot i even did it. And at its worst, i’d categorize the pain at a “level 2”, so not much. But today… i doubted myself.

The pain comes and goes and when at “level 2”, the pain is a throbbing feeling. i think it is the blood flow learning to move around differently and it causes some throbbing. i know this will ease and eventually that won’t even be a thing.

But as it was throbbing, i pulled my shirt down and looked at my pierced nipples. As in, REALLY LOOKED at them. And i found fault.

Not in the piercing itself, but everything else… here were my thoughts…..

“my nipples aren’t that big, the aureolas aren’t that big. Those bar bells look stupid being so big. Why did i do this?”

“i am almost 50-years old. This was not something that someone my age should have done. Will i die with these in? What will someone think when i am 70- with these in?”

“i acted irrationally and just ‘did this’ too quickly. i didn’t even think this through. Maybe i just did it to please Sir and i don’t even know if he ‘r-e-a-l-l-y’ likes them”

TIMEOUT….. in my not-so-deep-in-my-head moments…

While some of it is true… my boobs are large (38-D) but nips and aur’s are small(er), i DID think about the piercings a LOT. i did do it for me, and yes Sir too, but not JUST him), and I DO like them and i KNOW he loves them!

But yesterday, i was my own worst enemy and lost confidence and doubted my recent actions.

i was alone at the time, and that was probably my first problem! But it was also about the time when i got a text from Sir. It said, “I just got a 90-minute massage all focused on my back. In talking with the masseuse, she pierced her nipples the same day as you.”

And then a pic of her pierced nipples came through too.

Now some of you may be wondering about his fidelity to me, why was he looking at her nips, etc. but that’s not what this post is about and i wasn’t the least bit concerned about that. i’ll address that another day.

What’s more is… i didn’t even think about the fact that he had a pic of her, that he was actually talking about mine, nothing.

What i focused on when i saw that pic was all the things that i was not. She had about the same size breasts as me, but larger nipples. And her jewelry had pink barbells, where mine is just ordinary plain silver. And i decided i liked hers more and got even more “upset” with myself in the process.

Sir had NO idea i was “in my head” at the time. He has been known to tell me, “get out of your head and join us in the real world.” And had he known what i was doing and thinking at the time, he likely would’ve said this to me.

i texted him back and said, “hers look better than mine with her larger nipples. i’ve never liked my smaller nipples and i don’t know that the piercings look as good on me as they do on her.”

He immediately wrote back, “I like yours. I have always liked yours and they look even better now with the piercings! She likes yours too. She basically said the same about yours as you did about hers.” (We took “before and after” pics of mine…..and if i get brave enough and David approves for me to ever show a pic of myself on here, i will show you…. but not now…sorry!. But he definitely must’ve showed her those pics of me).

TIMEOUT again…………

So this is where i truly sat back, rewound, and gave this whole situation more thought……..

Sir is CLEARLY …..V-E-R-Y … happy with ME…. before piercings and even more after! So much so, he is talking to a masseuse he just met, when he’s not with me, and “I” am on his mind! (i capitalized that “I” to emphasize that “I” was who he was thinking about. “I” was who he’s talking about. And “I” am who he is in love with!)

When i responded to his text, i just said, “really?” And he said, “YES. Are you doubting me?”

And i thought to myself, “No, i was actually doubting myself.”

Reassurance …. sometimes it is needed. Sometimes it comes in ways we wouldn’t expect (getting a text of another woman’s pierced nipples). Sometimes it comes when we need it most (when he talks about me to a complete stranger – Because he’s in love with ME and then tells me about it). Sometimes it’s in his touch (when he got home, while he knows he can’t touch the piercings until they are healed or it could risk infection, he instead cupped my breasts and squeezed the bottom sides and smiled big at me….. then proceeded to kiss me with passion and desire… like a “you are mine, ownership” desire.

And suddenly, i was in love with my nipples and the piercings they hold. And of course, my David. My husband, HoH, lover, and best friend!

(And btw… after the healing occurs, in about 2-months, i’ll change out the jewelry to pretty-pretty stuff…. maybe hoops that he can attach a chain from the nips to the clit…. 😋🙋‍♀️🥰😍☺️)

Hugs,

Marie

69 – S is for Submission and Spanking. outside. AND. inside!

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This morning my in-laws left to return home. i expected that when David returned from dropping them at the airport, i would be “Assuming the Position” for the first real spanking since mid-May…. pre-car accident and pre-nipple piercing.

i have had some missteps lately in my submissive walk. David explicitly asked me to go by the drug store to pick up the meds that he had refilled, then even texted on my way home telling me not to forget… and yes, i forgot.

Then i have been mouthing off too. (My mouth gets me into more trouble than anything else!) i asked David a question that was intended as a joke, but with his facial response and his questioning me afterward, i knew he didn’t receive it the way i intended.

So – i fully expected it. In fact, i was prepared to ask for it if i had to.

And while we haven’t exactly discussed it really, he got home and said, “Are you expecting it today?” (And i KNEW that “it” was a spanking!)

Yes Sir

He said, “Not now. You’ll wait until I’m ready.”

Well that surprised me, but ok. Ok, NOT ok! i got somewhat annoyed because i have to psych myself up for spankings, especially when we’ve had a break lately. i mentally prepare. And i had done that. But he is in charge and he was teaching me to be submissive and disciplined to his guidance. And ultimately… i think this was him testing me!

But i didn’t wait long. About 30-minutes later and he said, “it’s time”

Yes Sir

And i went and assumed the position.

Now i was a bit on edge and nervous about this today because: 1) it’s been awhile. And the first time back is always a stark reminder … and typically especially painful! And 2) i have these new nipple piercings which i am afraid of bumping or hitting them on anything, causing pain! (Happy Birthday to Sir!) And i was worried if i squirm/move too much with each swat, i would hit them on the bed and cause myself even more pain.

So as i waited for Sir to come in, i prayed.

“Lord, thank you for giving me David to lead me, guide me, and to have complete control over our house and my life. i need you to help calm my nerves and give me strength to be the wife he wants me to be by accepting fully this discipline that i know i deserve, and to let it be an ultimate reminder of the wife i need to be. i love you Jesus. Amen”

Now if David has been “on cue” the door would’ve opened right then. But he wasn’t. And it gave me the time to “just relax….”

When David did came in, he immediately started the warm up. It was a LOT of swats in one spot on the left cheek. And then he did a LOT more on the right cheek.

Then the real swats came. All over my ass, sometimes in the same spot but often not. Swift and hard. And then a big pause….. and SMACK … an especially hard one….. and another pause and another big SMACK!

i could hear the paddle on the way back hit the palm of his other hand and then it hit my ass immediately after.

S-M-A-C-K

Somewhere in the middle, he asked me, “is this enough? Should I stop?” (While continuing to reign downing my ass)

And i hesitated. He said, “it was a simple question! No right or wrong answer, except to hear no answer at all.”

SMACK.

So i told the truth (best way to respond!) with, “i’m not certain Sir. i want it to end because it is intense but i want it to be a lasting and effective impression too.”

SMACK

S-M-A-C-K

That was when he put his hand between my legs and felt how wet i was. And he start playing with my clit.

SMACK

Wow. Pain and pleasure!

And he stuck his thumb in my ass and started moving in and out super fast. Fucking me hard with his thumb.

SMACK

Then with a thumb in my ass, he stuck two fingers in my Puss. And in/out they went!

SMACK

One hand was forcing my inside to submit while the other hand was still forcing the outside of me to submit.

Through it all, as my eyes were watering and i wondered if i was going to truly cry, i said, “i love it when you make both my outside AND my inside submit to you.”

“GOOD! Because your ass belongs to me!”

SMACK

“And i love when you are control ALL of me….. my body, soul, and mind!”

That’s when I heard “come for me my love!”

And i did. A LOT!

Then he replaced his thumb with a plug and said, “this will be a reminder all day to submit fully…. outside AND inside.”

Yes Sir.

And just like that…God granted me my prayer… to accept my spanking with grace and submission to be a better wife moving forward!

(And i didn’t move much at all during the spanking, and when i did it was lifting UP off the bed to ensure my nipples didn’t get hurt! It was a successful spanking all in all!)

Hugs,

Marie

64 – “Go Assume The Position”

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When i hear these words, i know it is time for a spanking whether it be maintenance or discipline. And i am to stop what i am doing and go immediately to the bedroom, undress fully, feet on the floor, bent over at the waist over the bed. Elbows, nose, and boobs touching the bed. Then i place the paddle in the small of my back. And wait.

When David comes in to start, while i can hear things, i (obviously) can’t see things. So i never know exactly whether he’s going to spank easy or hard, whether he’s actually going to use the paddle or another instrument, including perhaps something he may have brought with him into the bedroom (like a brush, a kitchen spatula, or just his hand).

Then when the spanking does start, he doesn’t make me count but he does typically talk to me throughout, and mostly about the way things should be and what hasn’t happened lately (maintenance) or what i’ve done wrong (discipline). i’m allowed to speak, in fact, sometimes it is expected, especially when i’m asked a direct question.

Sir: Do you know why we are here?

Me: Yes Sir

Sir: Tell me.

Me: Well Sir…. and i go from there.

Sir: You are correct (mostly correct, incorrect)…. and then he goes from there also.

But because of my car accident we have taken a major break from discipline of any kind really because not only did my body need to heal from the bruises, bumps, and back tightness, but also the things we had to deal with financially – the claim process, insurance, getting a new car.

So this morning, i was a bit surprised when he got home from the grocery store when he said, “You need to go assume the position”.

i hesitated. i’ve been anxious about this moment. i knew it would come but i have been worried how much it might hurt both on my ass but also the other body parts like my back fighting up. i’ve been thinking, “has my body actually and truly healed from that accident?” And this has been a running dialogue in my head for days now.

i’ve tried hard though to not bug David about anything DD being reinstated, to not push him into doing something he didn’t feel he or i was ready for, and to just trust he knows best. So i’ve not told him anything about these thoughts. i think he likely knew though that i was anxious and nervous about this pending moment too, especially when i hesitated and i NEVER do that!

So i did follow directions and went to the bedroom. And i “assumed the position” that i’ve been taught to both love and hate.

And i waited.

When he came in, the first words he said was, “oh i’ve missed this sight! What a beautiful sight to see.” And that’s when he asked me if i was nervous. i responded truthfully with “yes sir”. And he said, “well, you are merely nervous because it’s been awhile, so let’s get started and replace the nervousness and fear with truth”.

And he picked up the paddle from my back and smacked me hard just once on each cheek. i flinched.

And then he started with fast and swift swats in the same spot on my right butt cheek and he said, “You LOVE it when I hit the same spot over and over again, don’t you?” (He knows that i really HATE it when he peppers ONE spot over and again… so this was a trick question and i knew it).

i responded, “No Sir. i do not”.

He said, “You know you do! Just admit it” (Still trying to test my responsiveness)

i said, “No Sir. i can’t lie to you, so i won’t admit to liking it when i don’t.”

He said, “Maybe I should spank all over then.” And for about 1-2 minutes he spanked both cheeks quite quickly and fast. i was starting to cringe and lift my head off the bed.

That’s when he stopped, he leaned down onto my back, pressing me into the bed, and i felt his cock go straight into my ass. And he whispered in my ear, “What a good girl!”

i gasped with surprise. i didn’t even know he had his pants down. He must’ve taken them down before entering the bedroom because i didn’t hear the tell-tale sign of a zipper.

My hair was already in a ponytail so he grabbed hold and started pumping my ass with his cock hard and fast. i was immediately transformed from pain to pleasure. He pumped inside me while pulling my hair back, causing me to arch my back, and to be very still in the process.

He made a point to tell me i was NOT TO CUM! So i had to work hard not to, and i did succeed!

After he came in my ass and said, “DO NOT MOVE!” He pulled out and left to the bathroom. When he came back, i felt a very cold plug being pushed into my ass. He said, “let it in! This is to stay in until I say it comes out. Do you understand?”

i responded with, “Yes Sir”.

With that i thought we were done, so i started to stand up when he pushed down on my back and said, “We aren’t done yet”.

He pushed me hard into the bed and i once again felt the paddle on my ass. He said, “Do NOT let the plug come out!” And he turned my ass a bright red color while i focused on holding the plug in the entire time.

When he was done, he told me i did well while helping me stand upright, kissed me passionately, and told me to remember “Your ass belongs to me! I love you!” And i responded in kind.

So now i’m happily plugged as his cum seeps from my ass all day long.

The first spanking back was absolutely wonderful! i am loved and i know it!

Hugs,
Marie

61 – who would volunteer?

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One question i find to be a bit silly is “do we need to have an attitude adjustment?”

When i was asked this as a kid and now as a submissive wife in a DD relationship, i know that the “attitude adjustment” is punishment…. aka: spanking.

Who would ever say, “why Y-E-S, we do need an attitude adjustment!” Let’s go get that done now!”

🧐🧐🤨🤨🤨🤔🤔🤔

i mean seriously, if you think i need an attitude adjustment.. just do it already. But maybe it was just an opportunity to change my behavior before HE decided i needed an attitude adjustment. Either way……

No. Not me.

So guess what i said today when asked that? NO. Capitalized. But not rude. Just firm.

Just curious … what do YOU say?!?!

Hugs,

Marie

DAY 8 – My Submissiveness

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So i have NOT kept up with the 30-days of submissiveness postings, but i want to resume those. It may prove to be intermittent and not “daily”, but i think that’s okay too. So…. day 8…..

DAY 8 : LOOK!Post a kinky image you find erotic. Briefly describe what arouses you most in the image.

This prompt has caused me so much angst. i am struggling to pick just one image, so i decided to do more than just one…. in no particular order…

Pic 1: spanking… the very essence of Domestic Discipline:

Spanking is a real part of my relationship with David. Spanking a bare bottom, that has been offered up freely to a dominant, Hoh is acknowledging that i am not in control. Ever.

In addition, i should always look, smell, and sound appealing to him.

Pic 2: the paddle

David’s favorite disciplinary tool is the paddle. My paddle looks quite similar to this one. i hate the paddle … that it is (ever) even needed. But i love that David and i have found this lifestyle that works too. No fighting … verbally or physically… takes place in our home (when we are in our mode of DD anyway!). i freely accept the paddle as a necessary tool to keep our marriage where we both want it to be.

Pic 3: afterward…

Almost always after the paddle, he allows me to cum. It depends if it’s a true punishment or a maintenance (“stay the course reminder and reward for doing so”) though too. Punishment can’t ever be rewarded with sexual pleasure or else it would make me WANT to be bad.

Pic 4: why i do what i do….

YES, i do truly believe that if i can’t submit to my husband, i will never be able to truly submit to God’s authority either. God said in the Bible women are to submit and men are to love.

Pic: And last one….

i have a strong fantasy desire to be the center of attention for a room full of people – men and women. To be tied up and put on display and/or use, however, the party- goers wish to use me is their desire and my command. To be an ultimate party-favor, for the duration of the party and to serve any person’s whim. We shall see if this ever happens… i mean, it IS a fantasy and sometimes they come true.

Hugs,

Marie