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Tag: domestic discipline

79 – Sexuality and Christianity

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 79 – Sexuality and Christianity

i have been asked many times, “how do you reconcile your sexual escapades with your profession of faith?” … and every version thereof.

So this post is going to ATTEMPT to address that here… going to be very deep thoughts and theoretical and it’s taken me a long time to write this with many edits along the way .. so bear with me.

First off though…. i want to say i don’t know if i’m right. But i also don’t know if i’m wrong…. and frankly speaking, neither do you. So read this with an open mind and heart too! ❤️

AND a DISCLAIMER: while i am okay with constructive criticism, the key word is CONSTRUCTIVE! i have a delete button and i’m not afraid to use it. 😘 Remember the old adage… if you have nothing good to say… (let’s all finish it together now)… say nothing at all. So be kind!

My Christianity:

i want to start by telling you what i believe …as a Christian. i believe God loves all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight!

i believe in John 3:16, “that He gave his only son so that he who believes in Jesus will not perish, but have eternal life.” i do indeed believe that Jesus was the Great I Am who came to save us from sin and to whom that, when my earthly body fails or He returns to claim us (whichever comes first), i will go to be in heaven to live with forever.

i know we all sin every day in thought, word, and deed.. knowingly and unknowingly. And we have to ask God to forgive our sins to receive His many blessings in our life. But even if i were to not receive His blessings, because i believe Jesus is my Lord and Savior, i will still be saved.

i try to live my life according to the Golden Rule, which is biblical too, “Do unto others as you’d have done unto you.” (Matthew 7:12). And i know that ultimately God “has a plan for me to prosper, and to not harm” me (Jeremiah 29:11)

My Sexuality:

i am very sexual. i love being touched and touching, i love being seen and watching, but ultimately ………

i love being submissive (which is also biblical…. “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-23).

i have been with men and women that i was not married to, while i was (am) married. Both with and without David. But i have never done so without David’s knowledge and consent. And even though he has before, i am quite sure he hasn’t since.

My husband and i tried (and basically failed) at being monogamous. Our marriage almost failed as a result too. So we started doing sexual acts together, with other people. We don’t see it as cheating, unfaithful, or inappropriate when you take it out of the shadows and do it together. Our sexual fun together is something similar to a date night. We go together, participate in a fun activity together, and we come home together.

Is there much difference really between going to dinner and a movie with another couple OR going to dinner and then having sex with another couple?

Because i would tell you that being non-monogamous (is that a word, welp, it is now!) comes in many forms… spending too much (plutonic) time with a friend, confiding in another person more than your spouse, doing an activity with friends/family while intentionally not including your spouse, speaking gossip or negatively about your spouse to a friend or family member, lying (or just not telling the whole truth) and of course…. watching porn videos, sexting in a chat room, getting “happy ending” massages, and going onto websites that are for dating purposes only….all the while intending to hide (deceive) your spouse.

The Reconciliation:

When i was soul-searching after discovering David’s infidelity i found a lot about adultery, including when Jesus says, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).

So when i was busy pointing fingers at David for being adulterous, there were 4 more pointing back at me too!

i did also contemplate divorce… Oh but the Bible says divorce isn’t right either (there are more than 25 verses on divorce). And to that end, it says that “what God has brought together, let no man separate.” (Mark 10:9)

So now, we are doing an activity that we love, with full trust, honesty, and consent, as we are doing it TOGETHER. What’s so bad about that?

If you say that monogamy is the only way because the Bible says it, i would offer up that the Bible is full of contradictions. Depending on how you want to look and interpret any topic, including this very same discussion (Just google, “polygamy and the Bible” or “is it possible to be Christian swingers” to name a few), the Bible can be twisted and manipulated to suit. Perhaps some would say that’s what we’ve done now too. i’m ok with that. And here’s why…

Consider the verse, “Love they neighbor as thyself” …. does this mean i am not only allowed, but in fact seemingly commanded to have sex with my neighbors? Because the Bible also says, “do not lust after your neighbor.” By who’s standard should verses be deemed literal or figurative? How did you decide here? There’s nothing in the Bible that tells us. We decide based on our Christian teachings in church or by societal norms.

So if societal norms are the standard by which we set our moral compass, when did monogamy become a “thing” because there are more than 40 leaders in the Bible who were polygamous with multiple wives, including Solomon, Moses, Abraham, and King David (a man after God’s own heart)? How did we pick the exact verses we want to mandate as the ones to follow (one wife) quite literally while ignoring other verses (those that say they had multiple wives) because they “no longer apply” or “aren’t meant to be taken figuratively? Nowhere in the Bible does it specifically condemn polygamy, but of course, it doesn’t condone it either. Unless …. you want to say that many of the key leaders/biblical characters are polygamous and if the Bible doesn’t specifically condemn them, it must therefore condone them by default. So again, by that logic, when did monogamy become the societal norm and only acceptable way?

Southern baptists believe you shouldn’t dance, drink (alcohol), or gamble. Why? Because at least the dancing and drinking parts certainly are not biblical. Jesus went to a wedding and turned water into wine! At a place where they were drinking together and he seemingly encouraged it by creating more. He served wine at the last supper, and yet, Baptist’s serve grape juice in church instead. How or when did the societal norms become that replacing what Jesus commanded (drink this wine in remembrance of me) not be the accepted practice?

And taking the opposite approach is the Methodist Church who is now allowing homosexual/lesbian people to become ministers.

Which church has it right or wrong? i don’t think either are wrong. It is an earthly interpretation of how they feel it best to live and guide us.

(Many use the Bible verse Hebrews 13:4 as the guidance to say homosexuality is wrong. In my bible, the words are exactly as “sexual immoral” – not “homosexual”. When did various translations decide that should be changed to “homosexual”?)

There’s no clear answers. There’s a lot of debate and we could literally argue this until Jesus comes again to set us all straight! So ultimately…. i say it again….. i don’t know the answers.

What i do know is that i wasn’t ready to divorce my husband, but what we were doing (attempted and failed monogamy) wasn’t working either. So now, we enjoy being honest, open, loving, and forthright with one another… and that includes spending time together doing activities like golf, travel, going to the movies, and yes sexual activity with others.

And in the end, i try to be a better Christian, wife, and Mother each day. Do i fail? Yes! But we all “fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23)

In the end, i am a Child of God, believe in Jesus, admit to being a sinner and try to do better each day…. knowing that none of us can abide by and live fully up to all 783,137 words in the Bible even if we did understand the true intent of each word!

i’ll leave you with a final thought…… lest Ye be the First to Cast Stones…..

According to the Gospel of John, the Pharisees, in an attempt to discredit Jesus, brought a woman charged with adultery before him. Jesus thought for a moment and then replied, “He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her.” The people crowded around him were so touched by their own consciences that they departed.”

And my true final thought…. now i am off to dress (without a bra or panties) to go to church on this Sunday morning. 😉❤️😘

Hugs,

Marie

76 – Memoir – i asked to implement Domestic Discipline.

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 76 – Memoir – i asked to implement Domestic Discipline.

If you’ve read the other Memoir series posts, you now know that i didn’t get to this place, being a submissive, in what most might call a “traditional” way. And David didn’t grow up with this lifestyle either it. So this has been a process for us!

  • IF YOU ARE A HUSBAND READING THIS…. i respectfully ask you to really read this post thoroughly. i want you to know…. women ask this a LOT! …..in fact, it is the #1 thing i am asked, and i’ve seen it on other blogs also….. “How can I get my husband to lead/be a Dom, let me submit, implement spanking, implement DD.. how did you get your husband to do it?” These are the questions i am asked the most. Many women want this! Talk to your wife and try it. Read this and Be encouraged! Have faith. Lead your wife and your home. Be courageous! And now off my soapbox…and back to the regularly scheduled program….

So THIS is how we specifically came to be the Dominant and submissive (D/s) couple that we are with Domestic Discipline (DD) in our marriage……..

After i did many years of soul searching and sexual discovery, i came to realize that –

i am submissive.

In fact, i always have been. i just didn’t know it until all the searching ….in my mind, on the internet, and ultimately in the Bible….. led me to verses that most women in current generations have (quite literally) come to hate…Ephesians 5:22-24 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

But if you go just ONE more verse in the Bible it says…25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

So i started pondering……if THIS is our directive from God, why are we not living this?

Interestingly about this same time, our pastor did a sermon on these verses. He said (basically), “God intended there to be harmony in a household, so he declared one leader and one follower. So he told women to submit. But he didn’t leave men without any directive at all, men are to love their wife…unconditionally.”

That led me back to the internet. “Is spanking your wife biblical??” i mean, what happens if i don’t submit? Shouldn’t there be consequences?

While there aren’t specific things in the Bible saying men should spank women, there’s enough there to make one aware that this isn’t out of the question either. (See this specific blog post that gave me a lot to ponder: Biblical Gender Roles)

That was the day… i went to Amazon and ordered a wooden paddle.

i waited.

It came in the mail.

And that was the day, before i lost my courage, that i knew i had to talk to David about this.

To this point David knew i was getting deeper into all this “sexual stuff” and he saw i was searching (again!) for information and for toys on Amazon (again) too.

When we were both laying in bed, just the two of us, quiet time really, and just before he was preparing to do some nightly reading….. i handed him the Amazon package.

He asked, “what is this?”

i said, “open it please.” And he did.

He held the paddle and laughed and said, “is this the latest toy you’ve bought? And you want me to use this on you?? No. I won’t.”

And my heart immediately sunk. i asked, “why?”

He said, “I’ve always been taught men do not hit a woman. Ever. You know that!”

That’s when i said, “this wouldn’t be hitting me, but spanking me. And i don’t want this to be seen as a sexual toy but rather a method to implement domestic discipline. i want to be the submissive wife you deserve and that God has commanded actually. i want you to lead our household, family, and me. You’ve told me in the past i didn’t respect you, and i now think that’s true because i haven’t built you up to be the man you are supposed to be. i haven’t given you the support i should.

But that means i need you to be dominant. i need you to lead, guide, and be in control. And i will follow. But undoubtedly there will be times when i don’t. i don’t know why or when, but because we are both still humans-with-a-brain, there will come a time that i don’t do these things. And that’s when discipline will be needed. That’s when you will need to force me to submit. And i WANT you to do it. i am telling you these things now, when we are both sober and sane, and i am telling you, i want this! i need this!

So you see, this won’t be hitting me at all. It will be correcting me through love in a way that quite literally makes an impact that will be needed, encouraged, and accepted. i consent fully and i’ll write it down on paper, have it notarized, or whatever. i truly mean this.

David, will you be my Dominant husband and implement Domestic Discipline in our home?”

  • IF YOU ARE A WIFE READING THIS…. Yes, i literally spoke the words out loud! i had NO idea how he would respond and i was quite literally very vulnerable at this moment. But the ultimate answer to the questions….“How can I get my husband to lead/be a Dom, let me submit, implement spanking, implement DD.. how did you get your husband to do it?”…. is to ask! Speaking it out loud validates it… to him AND to you! If you had the courage to ask me, find the courage to now go ask HIM! And once again, back to the program…..

Now if David had acted according to the script in my head, he would’ve said, “yes, you are absolutely right. I will indeed accept this role. We need this in our home. In fact, I’d like to try this paddle out now and start learning how to use it. So get over here and bent over my knee!”

But life isn’t a scripted part. In fact, if it were, it wouldn’t be HIM in control but me! So it’s probably good that he didn’t do as i wanted him to!

What he actually said was, “woah. I thought we were headed to bed! I don’t know about this latest sexual fantasy you want me to act out. I’ll think about it.”

And he turned off the light, put down the iPad, rolled away from me and that was that. It was clear though, the “discussion” (if you want to even call it that) was over.

i went to sleep feeling disappointed. i rehashed that conversation in my head a thousand times, didn’t sleep well, tossed and turned. But i did drop it and let it lie. And i prayed, “God, is this the way this is supposed to go? If it is, i need your help. Either change David’s heart or mine. But we need your help one way or the other. Show him this isn’t a sexual fantasy and i don’t want this to be just that. i want this to be a way of life, 24/7.”

David put the paddle in the bedside stand bottom drawer (and it’s still housed there to this day!) and about a week went by without a word about it, DD, D/s, nothing at all.

And as we were getting ready for bed one night, he said very calmly, “do you still want me to spank you?”

And i said, “yes. As necessary correction and discipline when i don’t submit and ultimately undermine your authority as my Dominant husband.”

And he said, “then get over here and let’s try this out.”

That was when i dropped my clothes, laid on the bed, on my stomach, naked, and waited.”

He basically tapped my ass with it and asked, “Does that hurt?” i said, “No Sir” and that was most definitely the truth!

And he did it again harder, and again harder, and again harder yet. Repeating the question.

When he did about 5 or so, he announced, “that’s enough” and was done.

(i think he didn’t quite believe me that it truly didn’t hurt! And he was probably afraid he would hurt me for no good reason… and thoughts of hitting a woman & abuse of his wife flooded his brain… not to mention, he was likely testing my response too. Was i truly accepting of this? Did i truly want a new way of life or just a sexual fantasy? And with all these new thoughts in his head, he had to digest it too.)

Not one of those taps was even remotely hard. i was encouraged and disappointed at the same time. i couldn’t imagine that this little play-tapping spanks as ever being something that would create a change in me and truly serve as “discipline”. And yet, he initiated this now. He tried. He had been thinking about this for a week. It hadn’t been forgotten about, like i had actually begun to think. In the end, i don’t consider this to be my first spanking, but rather the try-it-before-you-buy-it spanking.

But that’s when he did say, “we can try this if you want.”

And i said, “i want”.

He laughed and said, “ok…. careful what you wish for!”

To which i replied, “i only wish to restore you to the place in our marriage and house that you should’ve always been anyway. As my Dominant Husband. i wish to submit and be disciplined when i don’t!”

i kissed him with passion and he made mad-passionate, intense, “I own you” kind of love to me. And i thanked him.

And that’s when i had the courage to ask, “do you still think we are not sexually-compatible?”

He said, “not anymore!”

i’d like to say we have never looked back, but that’s not quite true. We have refined the protocol, the process, the expectations, and the discipline. He’s gotten more confident as we go, he’s learned to wield the paddle quite effectively, while i’ve learned to say, “Yes Sir” and “Thank you Sir” quite confidently.

And it works! It is exactly where God led me. It is exactly where God wants us to be.

In case you are wondering, yes, we still belong to those dating sites, we do occasionally still meet people and have sex with them, but rarely really. We don’t really have time in our lives to do those things anymore. But if he said today, “let’s go do this thing with X&Y, i’d simply ask, “what’s the attire and when do we leave?” And i’d love every minute of it.

But ultimately we have more conversations and fantasies about it now than anything at all. As a result of ALL this, i trust David fully and implicitly, which is why i didn’t get at ALL upset when he sent me the pic of the masseuse’s pierced nipples. i know my place in our marriage and he knows his. And i am confident in it!

That was when i found other DD blogs, specifically DD Jennifer, and i was inspired by hers to start my own. So go read hers or start at the beginning of mine…. because now you are fully aware of what happened RIGHT up to me starting this blog…. which was also the start of our D/s using DD relationship.

We’ve changed, grown, and improved our D/s relationship over these last couple of years… for the better. i can’t wait to see what the next year(s) hold too!

Hugs,

Marie

75 – handyman, i am NOT!

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We have a reverse osmosis water filtration system (that’s a mouthful!) to filter our drinking water. The main tank and pump are housed under our kitchen sink island.

Every so often we have to replace the filters to keep the water flowing properly, otherwise the water pressure dwindles to (basically) nothing. We did that this past weekend but the water pressure did not immediately return the way it has in the past.

David told me to call the people who installed it and schedule them to come out.

(Mistake number 1 – right here – i should’ve JUST scheduled it. But i didn’t)

So i called yesterday. The tech lady asked a few questions and told me the “tank needs to be disconnected and emptied, then use a bicycle pump to put in 8-10 psi, reconnect it and should be good to go.”

i said, “oh that sounds a bit past my expertise”

(if only i’d have stopped there! And done as i was told and scheduled the tech to come fix it)

She tells me, “Oh it’s really not hard at all.” And in short time, convinces me too.

i hang up. i tell David. He said (and i do quote!), “you should just schedule them to come do this. I don’t think this is a good idea. Too much can go wrong.”

(And if i’d only stopped T-H-E-R-E!…. but oh no…. i didn’t!)

i told David how easy it was, what the tech had told me, i even googled it to see how “right” she was, watched a YouTube video. And David said, “well, if you want to…..”

Then he told me, “if it works, you can cum sooner than the 7-days! But if it doesn’t…..” (and he smirked)

(Challenge accepted. Game on. Finish line… here-i-CUM!!)

So i went to work, all in all, i thought i succeeded. With just one teensy little concern….. when i turned the water valve to the “on” position, it made a fizzing sound like when you open a bottle of soda for the first time. Neither the tech nor the video made any mention of this.

But now we simply had to wait 2-4 hours for the water tank to do its thing, fill up, etc. Nothing to do really except wait and see.

So because i started this at almost 7pm, i wouldn’t know if it worked until close to bedtime. And because of my edging assignment, (can’t cum until i know this has proven successful!), i went to the bedroom to do so.

And i stayed there afterward, readied for bed, read, turned out the light and went to sleep.

(This is one more opportunity to have possibly changed the outcome. If i had at least gone to check on it… the next part likely could’ve been avoided…. but no, i didn’t even do that much!)

This morning comes and i wake, as usual, 6am. i go straight to the kitchen to get coffee (zombie without it!). i don’t even turn the lights on, but the sun is coming up so it’s dark but not pitch black either.

And i stepped in water.

i flipped on the lights and there is about 1/2 – 1 inch of water covering the entire kitchen floor. (oh holy S@#%!!!!)

Well, David was in the front of the house and i walk in and say, “will you come help me please Sir?”

“With what?”

“The kitchen”

“I take it the tank-fix didn’t go well?”

“No Sir, most definitely not!”

And when he walked into the kitchen, in front of me, he said, “holy hell!”

And we went to work cleaning. He never yelled. He never even sounded mad. i think that was ONLY because we had to come together and get this cleaned up.

We saturated 8-towels, used 3-rolls of paper towels, and a shop vac. Now the water is off the floor – for what we can see. What we can’t see and don’t know is: 1) what is still under the wood floors that could cause warping or mold, 2) what is still under the island and could also cause mold.

When we were mostly done, he dressed and left to go play golf (previously planned). And gave me instructions on how to finish.

And just before he left he said, “next time, you’ll just schedule the handyman straight away, correct? You need to call and get it scheduled now too.”

“Yes Sir”

“Do you understand you screwed up?”

“Yes Sir”

“We will deal with this when I get home”

“Yes Sir”

So now, i sit here with the shop vac still going full force…..Trying to coerce the water to come out of the island as i type this out. i can only pray there are no ultimate lingering house-damaging problems from this!

While i accept the punishment that will ensue later today, i am dreading it too…. i know this spanking will be a serious punishment and pain. And it will likely cause me to cry. And i deserve it, and i will accept it. i likely will still feel it’s impact tomorrow on my rear side.

And now i have NO idea when cumming will be allowed either. i haven’t even mentioned that! There’s no point really! i won’t be surprised if the 7-days start over or are at least extended for some time to come.

There are so many places in this (unfortunately very true) story i could’ve changed this outcome. And i didn’t.

But here’s the positive…. because of DD, we are NOT fighting about this, we are working together on this, we are actually very much in sync on this, and we have a way to fix this and move on without resentment or ill will. When this frightful story does come to an end…. after the punishment today, the tech people come fix this properly, and we know there’s no lingering damage that remains…. it will be done. No future rehashing, throwing it up in my face, or fighting then about it either.

And for that, i am grateful.

(i will give you the last Memoir today…. or possibly tomorrow… i may not be allowed online the rest of today as another side of this punishment…. he knows i love to blog and taking it away today might be a punishment i have to accept)

Hugs,

Marie

72 – Memoir 1…. where did we start…in this D/s-DD relationship.

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So here is me about to truly expose myself… ok, NO you aren’t going to SEE a picture of me, but you’ll likely see my soul in this post! But all that i have to say may take a few of these posts, so i’ll call this “Memoir 1” and i’m sure you’ll recognize when i get to the end.

i’ve been asked many times “how exactly did you find this lifestyle” and “how did you get started” and “who initiated this” and every combo of those questions imaginable.

My entire life has held a series of “suppressed sexual encounters”… as i’ve posted about some before already. But i never embraced it… “it” being the kinky/hot sex…. i never let it define me, i never owned it, or let ME be ok with it! Instead… i suppressed it, called it dirty, and sinful. Made excuses that “when that happened, i was (young, drunk, stupid, … fill in the blank). And basically i tried to believe i had been a bad girl then and was only a good girl when i was doing traditional, missionary, vanilla sex. And i tried to say “THIS is how God wants me to be! (Good …with vanilla sex with just my husband and no one else … ever again!)”

And it was boring.

To the point that David and i barely had any sexual encounters at all. We didn’t know how to really talk about it either. So we both ignored it. Basically acted like it didn’t matter…. but it did!

We successfully had a kid after a lot of help from infertility docs, so even getting PG was a “clinical” process! And then no other kids/siblings because i just wasn’t up for more “clinical” sex or procedures.

And when our kid was 7, David and i celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary. So we endured a lot of superficial communications and very little sex… and when we did have sex… it was boring. (Have i said how boring it was?! Neither of us had “fun” or “got off”. We both were just going through the motions…. like “good boys and girls” do!)

About 4’ish months after our anniversary, David had been out of town for work (which was a lot back then) and i was washing clothes. When i took the clothes out of the dryer……

Two movie tickets stubs fell out.

Contagion.

R-rated movie.

It wasn’t with me.

When i looked at the calendar, it was…

On a Monday night.

A night that he had told me he was out of town.

i went online to United trips and he was NOT out of town.

And i was in shock.

i texted him, “who did you go to see Contagion with on that Monday night??”

And i stared at my phone both wanting an answer… and not.

What came back was, “why?”

i said, “I deserve to know! Is it someone I know? Is it someone you love? Is it someone you want to be with?”

And he responded with, “Yes. Yes. No, because I love you.”

I texted him back, “make up your mind by the time you land tonight at 6. I’ll be waiting. Our son will be at my bff’s. Don’t text or call me until I see you.”

And he proceeded to blow up my phone …. to which i read, but didn’t respond…. begging mercy, telling me how much he loves me, he wants a better marriage, he wants to be with me, he wishes he hadn’t done it, blah, blah, blah….. i refused to answer it.

i sat on the couch… as the sun went down… and waited. And cried. And was heart broken, angry, sad, cried, hated AND loved him. and had NO idea what to do.

When he walked in, i had already taken our son away for the night, and the first words he said were, “we are not sexually compatible.”

There was clearly a “contagion” in our house alright…. i just wasn’t sure where or when the source originated exactly, how to eradicate it, or how to become immune to it! or if i just wanted to let it kill “us” (“us being our marriage) and be done with him.

i knew her…. very well…. in fact, i thought she was a friend. And he proceeded to tell me they had been together for a FULL YEAR.

Timeout….. if you think “every woman knows”, i am living proof … they don’t! Maybe they should, but they don’t! Oh i knew we weren’t great, but i thought this was how marriage was supposed to be…. kinda boring, but comfortable and easy …..but i never thought this was what we had become.

That’s when i asked him if he wanted a Divorce. He said, “No. I want change.”

And what came next…. you’d NEVER guess….. and NO, it wasn’t DD.

Everything i am talking about here happened 8-years ago. We only discovered DD 2-years ago….. so guess again…..

And i’ll leave you right THERE…. on the edge.... kinda like i am right now…. i mean, i just HAVE to share this frustrating experience with you too!! ……. (see last post – 21 times to change a habit if you haven’t already).

And speaking of edging…. this is Day 2…. and i am getting incredibly frustrated. David made me watch a 30-minute porn video last night and said i could start and stop as much i needed to, but i was to watch the entire thing while edging. And of course, NO orgasm. I barely succeeded!

And to add to it, today he texted me, “are you horny little girl?? Have you been a good girl??”

Yes Sir! To both……

Hugs,

Marie

71 – 21 times to change a habit – that’s the goal!

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Most people have heard the phrase “it takes 21-days to change a habit”. Whether that’s fact or fiction remains unproven really, either way, David decided i am going to do a task this week 21-times without failing.

What is that task?

Edging. NO orgasm allowed. At least not by my hand. And i am not allowed to ask him to do it either. He may decide to touch me or allow me to orgasm on his own, but it will be at his decision and not mine.

i do NOT like edging. IT SUCKS! It sucks because it feels SOOOOO good… and yet requires absolute control. It is just Goal-oriented and not Pleasure-oriented. And absolutely NO indulging. NO losing myself in the sensations and the good vibe feelings it creates.

3 times a day for one solid week. Twenty-one times. In 7-days.

NO exceptions.

NO ability to NOT do it ….. or worse…. NO ability to go over the edge without him knowing because he is requiring every session to be either on video or in his presence. NO exceptions. At all.

He made it clear that i am truly expected to go TO-THE-EDGE….

And if it means i have to stop and restart again, just to ensure i go to the edge, i am to push my ability to GO-TO-THE-VERY-EDGE!

Twenty-one times in seven days. NO going over the edge. NO exceptions.

THIS is my GOAL for the next 7-days, 21- times. Goal-oriented. NOT pleasure-oriented.

When i asked, “what if i misjudge the edge and go over?”

i was told, “severe punishment will ensue. And then you’ll start the 21-times all over again until you accomplish this task successfully. And since you will want to orgasm pretty badly by the end, I am confident you can do this!”

(i’m certainly glad at least one of us is confident!)

Now you may be asking, “what prompted THIS?”

Ever since getting my nips pierced, i have been SO sex’d up and feeling SO turned on… that i have NEEDED Sir to allow me to orgasm. And he’s annoyed by this. Too much. i pushed his limits!

i haven’t exactly been submissive about it either. Yesterday i wore a dress and no panties… i was feeling SO needy i “conveniently” lifted my dress when he was on the couch, and my puss just happened to end up rubbing right up against his hand… and i smiled seductively and said, “do you want to use me?”

i got a big-fat- NO. And he swatted my clit and said, “you need to stop”. OUCH!… physical and mental!

And i went to bed without being touched or satisfied. Truly i thought it was done though because he didn’t act like it was anymore than that. But i was wrong.

This morning… he announced “this week we will teach you a lesson. You need to recognize that I know I can touch you anytime I want. But it is when I want, not when you want. YOU are not in control. You know this, but you don’t always show or act like it. And after yesterday’s stunt, you clearly need to learn to control your sexual desires. I love it when you dress sexy and give me serious eye candy, but I don’t like it when you push yourself on me like you did. That’s too demanding and completely unnecessary.. and clearly NOT the submissive that we both know (and love) that you are. You need to be patient and wait for me to be the one to satisfy you, at a time when it satisfies me!”

And that’s when he told me my task for the week. That my sexual needs will now be amped up at my own hand…. before my sexual needs are satisfied at the end of 7-successful days at his hand (or tongue or cock). And that’s when i’ll get to orgasm. And not until then.

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir for the discipline and showing me you love me enough to want to help me do better. i love you Sir.”

“I love you too my sweetheart. Now go be a good girl and start your first edging for the day.”

Yes Sir.

i sure hope my goal is met in JUST 7-days!

i’ll let you know just how frustrated i do indeed get this week… this will be a very long week!

Hugs,

Marie