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Tag: dd

Day 3 of 30: My Submission

DAY 3 : DISCOVERIES…How did you discover that you were kinky?

i think i always have known i am kinky. i just didn’t allow myself to explore it until the last few years.

Several years ago, my husband (my Sir) and i had a lot of marital trouble. And when that happened, it caused us to face a fork in the road: divorce or change. But the way it had always been was no longer an option going forward.

In fact, David said, “we are not sexually compatible. I think our sex life is incredibly predictable and boring.”

It hit me like a lead balloon. Because i knew i thought the same thing! And here we were married all these years with what we both thought amounted to a boring marriage … or at least sex-life, which let’s face it, is a HUGE part of a marriage!

So… we decided to stay together… with changes.

We sat down and talked… candidly .. about what we liked and didn’t. And it was the first time i really came out and put my Kink into words to anyone, including my husband.

And the more (brutally) honest i was, the more he was willing to try new things. And the more i said things like, “i want to show you more respect”. And “i want you to be in charge of our family”. And “i want you to tell me things (on things that ultimately don’t matter and it wouldn’t matter what i said!) .. not ask”… the more he responded with excitement. Emotional, physical, and sexual excitement.

Now together, we continue to explore things we like and don’t. The sky is the limit when you are honest with your Partner and find things that work .. for you both.

And THAT is what we have done and will continue to do!

Hugs,
Marie

Day 1 of 30: ME – and My Submission

YOU…Dominant, submissive or switch? List the parts of BDSM that get your juices flowing, what interests you the most? Basically define your kinky nature.

i most associate with and consider myself to be a submissive. But i think i could easily switch and/or Dom too…. that is, if i wanted to. And i don’t.

First submissive. i love to do as i am told. i am a rules follower. Always have been! The more rules and the tighter the wiggle-room, the better. It takes the guess work out of things. It makes the path narrow. It makes it easy to know right from wrong, and therefore easier to please.

And the consequences. When the rules are broken, there must be consequences. Those consequences must be enacted without emotion. The rules are clear, the consequences are clear, and there’s nothing to whine or complain about. It is what it is!

i love to please… you! i want to be used for YOUR pleasure, not mine. My pleasure comes in knowing i made you happy and pleased you.

And if that means you tie me up, you fill my holes & you call me names, then so be it. i love it when treat me like a well-used fucktoy.

Now the switch or Dom part. i struggle to serve someone who doesn’t take charge and get things done. i don’t exactly respect you and can’t let you lead if you won’t do it well! (Notice i didn’t say “can’t” do it … i respect effort even if it doesn’t end up right as we all make mistakes. Don’t respect not even trying).

Even in my every-day life, when someone needs to volunteer to lead a group, i will wait to see if someone else volunteers first. But if no one does, i will raise my hand and lead the group.

At work, i am very dominant. i have a demanding job and i have 15-people who report to me. They listen as i lead.

So if that person who volunteers to lead, doesn’t do that job well, i can and often do take over. i will get it done on time and accurately!

So you have to be strong-willed, and in charge, and DOMINATE if you want me to follow you. Otherwise, move over, get out of the way, and let someone else lead.

In a nutshell – i prefer to be submissive, but i can be comfortable leading too!

And my husband is my dominant. He leads and i follow. And i respect that!

Hugs,
Marie

30-days of Submission : My Submissiveness

i like this list. i got this list from #inferiorslut blog. And i challenge myself to blog these topics for 30-days, and if you so wish to join, please do the same!


DAY 1: YOU…Dominant, submissive or switch? List the parts of BDSM that get your juices flowing, what interests you the most? Basically define your kinky nature.


DAY 2 : YOUR KINKS…List your Kinks. Describes what it is about being Dominant or submissive that excites and arouses you the most.


DAY 3 : DISCOVERIES…How did you discover that you were kinky?

DAY 4 : CLUES…Write about any early experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks.

DAY 5 : YOUR FIRST TIME…What was you first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t yet had that first time write about what you hope to have happen.

DAY 6 : FANTASIES…Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

DAY 7 : YOUR TOYBOX…What’s your favourite toy or item of equipment?

DAY 8 : LOOK!Post a kinky image you find erotic. Briefly describe what arouses you most in the image.

DAY 9 : LISTEN…Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy. Describe why it works for you.

DAY 10: HOW FAR…What are your hard limits?


Day 11: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT…What are your views on the ethics of kink?


Day 12: “I THOUGHT YOU HAD THE KEYS…”Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

Day 13: KINK APPEAL…Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?


Day 14: REAL-LIFE BDSM…How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?


DAY 15: “I WOULD LIKE TO…”Write about a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.


DAY 16: DIFFICULTIES…What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?


DAY 17: “IT’S NOT LIKE THAT …”What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?


DAY 18: PET HATES…Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? Any thing you particularly dislike or that annoys you? If so, what are they?


DAY 19: LIFE CHANGING…Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?


DAY 20: KINK CURIOUS…Talk about something within kink/BDSM that you’re curious about or don’t understand.


Day 21: KINK BOOKS…List your Favourite BDSM related book/s (fiction or non-fiction).


DAY 22: RELATIONSHIPS…What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?


DAY 23: PERSPECTIVES…Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? If so, how?


DAY 24: PARTNERS…What qualities do you look for in a partner?


DAY 25: “ACTUALLY, I’M IN TO…”How open are you about your kinks?


DAY 26: SPANKING THE MOUSE…What’s your opinion on online BDSM play? Or online D/s Relationships?


DAY 27: “LICK MY STAMPS! YOU WORM!…”Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?


DAY 28: “CORSET DOES…”How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?


DAY 29: “MY NAME IS…”Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?


DAY 30: FREE TIME…Write or create a list of whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to

56 – Confident Sir

i don’t typically write twice on the same day, but i am in awe of David today and felt the need to mention this now. He has grown in his confidence and he beams. He tells me things that he would not have before. He doesn’t ask as many questions so much as now he makes statements.

While i’ve grown in my deeper submission, he too has grown and developed as a stronger leader for me and our family. He has truly become my SIR.

But i won’t deny, it truly has been a process. We officially started DD almost two years ago. When we started, it was ME wanting it. i asked David rather slowly and tentatively. At first, David was more or less just going along with it. While he didn’t exactly say these words to me, i think he basically was thinking, “okay, it’s her latest and greatest kink for the bedroom. I’ll go along…” and he did.

But that’s just it. It wasn’t a kink (okay, maybe it IS…. but still!) just for the bedroom or a fad that would go away. i wanted this to be a new way of life and a new lifestyle to which we were committed to and would define our relationship. And slowlyyyyyyyy over these two years, i’ve seen him take on a true Dom personality that has REALLY culminated in the last few weeks, but especially the last couple of days.

i told you how in the fall we fell out of the DD lifestyle. Because i didn’t really think he liked it, that he was (still) just going along with it, and didn’t really “care” about it, i basically didn’t either. And because the fall season is always busy at our house with our son in high school, so… i just dropped it.

But coming up to Christmas – i missed it. i missed who we were. i hoped he would want to get it back. i had noticed we were always fighting about stupid stuff, i didn’t show him respect – in my actions, words, or thoughts – and well, things weren’t going well. So that’s when i texted him i miss spanking and he texted back, “Me too”.

With that response, THAT was when i realized for the first time that he truly had come to like the DD lifestyle and being my Dom. And i was equally excited … and sad. Excited because i had a chance to get back what i thought was lost and sad for having lost it in the first place.

From T-H-A-T day in January until now, he has started truly being in charge, telling me what to do, and disciplining when it’s needed. He has set new rules and enforced them too. And he is adamant about NOT missing maintenance either.

THIS time, it’s different. It is intentional on his part. Not just mine. And in the past 24-hours, he’s been more Dom-like than ever before.

First, he texted saying if i could go home early for maintenance, that would be preferable. So i did because i could. When i got home, he was eating a late afternoon meal and watching t.v. i greeted him cordially but i wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to do maintenance then, later, or what. So i asked him.

And his response was, “From now on, assume that when you come in the door on Friday after work, you are to……go straight to our bedroom, get completely naked, stand with your feet on the floor next to the bed, bent over at the waist. And on your back should rest the paddle. You shall wait until I am ready to come in and join you, however long that may be. Don’t make noise, don’t ask questions, and do NOT move from that position until after maintenance is complete – no matter HOW long you have to wait for me to arrive! Do I make myself clear?”

Wow. Okay then. That is without a doubt, THE most dominant thing he has EVER said to me. It was direct, clear, un-questioning and un-waivering.

“Yes Sir, it is very clear.”

And i turned and went to do as he said. Which then resulted in the most painful spanking to date. Without preamble. Without much notice. And definitely without asking me “if it’s okay, I’d like to….”, to which i was incredibly thrilled about!

That brings us to this morning….. when i told him that in my deeper submission thoughts…. that i want to implement a new rule about “what he puts in, only he can take out” he said, “okay.”

Hmm. His response wasn’t too excited or convincing. Maybe he doesn’t really think this is a good idea and this is just me “topping from the bottom”. Oh well, i said it and that’s all i can do for now.

i went on to say that i would NOT talk about it (“it” being whatever he put in), whine about it, beg for it to come out, or otherwise mention it. That i would trust that he would remember, not forget about me, and tell me when he felt it was time to come out. Again, he said, “okay”.

Geez, me and my big ideas.

And that’s when he left the house to go play golf. He texted me shortly afterward though and said, “I didn’t have time to put the purple metal plug in, but you need to do that now. Text me a pic that I can see it went in.”

Oh well, maybe this isn’t such a bad idea afterall…..

And i did as he requested…. at 9:00 a.m. this morning.

When i texted the pic, i asked him, “Does that make you happy?” (Genuine, not sarcastic). And then i went on to say that i see giving him the authority to decide if/ when it comes out as another sign of submission and it makes me happy.

And he wrote, “Yep and Good!”

Man of few words, but i did anticipate a little more than that too. This is really not my best idea. Well, i guess i’ll see how today goes. But i’ll leave it in and hope you don’t forget.

He got home from golf at 3:00 and he has not said ONE-SINGLE-WORD-ABOUT-THE-PLUG-ALL-DAY.

IT IS STILL IN. This is THE longest i have EVER worn a plug. And …. while it’s uncomfortable from this length of time in, it’s not “that bad”… but if he said take it out, i’d be all-too-happy to do so too!

But it made me wonder, “Did he forget?” So – i debated – but i worked up the courage to ask……

i said, “Sir, while i am NOT complaining or asking for relief because i said i wouldn’t do that, did you forget about the plug?”

He responded with an incredulous look and said, “NO, I did NOT forget. And why are you asking when you said you wouldn’t? I assume I don’t have to talk about it or confirm it is still in. Is it still in?”

“Yes Sir”

“Show me. Now.”

So i turned around, bent over, and pulled down my pants.

He said, “Looks great.”

THAT’s IT? AGAIN? …. i thought there should be more….

i said, “So do you want to touch it? Can it come out? Are you surprised i left it in?”

And he said, “You are asking a lot of questions. Do you want to be spanked?”

“No Sir”

“Okay, so where’s the trust you texted about? Do you NOT trust me to remember, to make good decisions and to tell you what I want?”

“I do”

“Then stop asking questions before I put even more bruises on your already bruised ass. And go away and quit asking… with the plug IN place!”

WOW. TWO DAYS IN A ROW. He is MY DOMINANT HUSBAND! i beamed.

i said, “Thank you Sir. i love this confident dominance you are showing me.”

And with that, he smiled and said, “Good! Go put on a thinner fabric, tighter fitting shirt, so I can see your nipples better. And plan to wear it to dinner tonight.”

i’m not allowed to wear a bra unless i’m at work in a shirt that requires it.

So i did.

And so here i sit – with a purple plug in my ass still and a form-fitting shirt, no bra and no panties, and preparing to go to dinner……. where people could see my nipples.

But i am confident that my husband is a CONFIDENT SIR. And he will NOT forget about me, he will beam when others look at my nipples, and i will be proud of who i am and who he’s become.

And i feel most confident that my latest kinky sex fad is now a permanent lifestyle that has changed my husband into my very confident and dominant husband who i call Sir!

Hugs,
Marie

55 – Deeper submission

“Deeper” submission…. get the pun??!?! ….in more ways that one…. deep in my ass and my mind!

Yesterday’s maintenance session was intense. My ass is bruised today, especially on my right side.

As we were laying in bed, David said….

Him: “I decided to see how long you could handle being spanked in just one spot. Did you notice that I concentrated primarily on just your right ass cheek?”

Me: oh YES Sir i did! i may not have called yellow when i did if you’d moved around a bit more than you did.

Him: no words….just gave me the biggest grin!

Today….. i feel like the session served it’s purpose. My ass is bruised and still sore. But i am content, relaxed, and loving my Sir more than i did yesterday even.

For those that think, “how can a spanking (bruises) cause you to want more?”… well, it’s a bit hard to expexplain, but i will try….

By submitting myself to Sir, it is an intentional show of my love. It shows that i trust him fully with my physical being, my life, and our family. And he knows and respects that it is INTENTIONAL that i’ve chosen to commit myself thoroughly to him, and ultimately he does the same in reverse.

i love the bond that only we know about. My family and friends think i am a stereo-typical, average middle-aged woman, with a suburban life, middle-class, (overall) conservative life. And they ARE right. Mostly.

There’s just more than meets the eye. In fact, much of it is hidden underneath clothing … like bruises and plugs… which brings me to the deeper submission part of this….

Today we implemented a new rule. One that i came up with after reading other blogs here and being inspired, and he thought was perfect for us.

It is:

What he puts in (or tells me to put in), shall not come out without permission and/or only by his hand. And there’s to be NO whining, begging, pleading, or bartering otherwise. In fact, i shouldn’t even mention it or remind him either. i am to trust that he won’t forget or neglect me, and further trust that he is in control and knows what’s best.

So with that …. he put in a metal plug that has a purple jeweled end, his favorite color. Then he stood me upright, planted a warm kiss on me, squeezed my (sore!) ass, and went to play golf.

i have no real idea how long it will stay in, but i know – without a doubt or question in my mind – it WILL stay in until he gives me permission to take it out or tells me to bend over and does it himself.

A constant reminder today that i am his. And my life couldn’t be better!