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218 – Being naked is not being a nudist

Written by Marie on . Posted in Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Submission, Submissive Wife. No Comments on 218 – Being naked is not being a nudist

Having no clothing on is such an exposed feeling. There’s nowhere to hide, all your skin flaws on display, and you have a choice of standing tall and being proud….. or cowering.

Lately i decided to revisit the being naked thing. i tried it once before but for a variety of reasons including, me getting too cold, our son, practicality, and my preference, it didn’t last too long. But in the past two weeks, i’ve been trying it again. And i am starting to really love it.

i choose to stand tall. (And not to cower.. or to cover!)

When i first started it, it was just to sleep. i have slowly extended that timing to include morning coffee wake up time. Last night being naked started earlier in the evening with time in the hot tub, and just continued through tv time and sleeping.

When i first started experimenting with it, i simply pretended i had clothes on. Even though i didn’t.

i can tell you Sir loved it. He loved seeing every bit of me at the blink of his eye. He held my boobs and squeezed my nipples, his favorite, frequently. He also slapped at my ass and felt me up to see how wet i was, or to make me wetter!

That was in the beginning of it. Now though, and like last night, it wasn’t even really (much) of a thing. He had clothes on, i did not, and we sat on the couch and watched tv as if it were very completely normal activities. Of which, it is now becoming normal.

And at some point along the way, it has became a mental relief for me. Being naked has become liberating. To be free and have nothing on suddenly became easy and my preferred go-to. i am now seeking out opportunities to be naked.

And then i put the clothes back on. The weekend comes to an end, our son materializes (let me tell you that Seniors in HS don’t materialize often!), the door bell rings, or some other reality event occurs…. and it’s time to go back to the world… with clothes on.

i will always wear my clothes proudly, when it’s required too though. And i’ll look for the first opportunity to shed them!

i now chose to sleep naked all the time too as clothes are absolutely not required to sleep in since our teen son never just materializes to climb in bed with Mommy and Daddy at all hours of the night anymore the way he used to when he was younger.

Now i look forward to the time i go to our room and am able to undress. It is wonderful to have your whole body touch the sheets freely and to not ever be tangled in cloth as you turn from side to side.

Nudists say it’s not sexual to be naked. And maybe in some settings that’s true, but it’s not true for me and Sir. i think when everyone is naked, say at a nudist resort or at a kink party, it might not be sexual. But all other times: it is. It is VERY Sexual!

While we all have the same parts as the next person of our same gender (okay, seriously there’s only TWO options… pick one and identify already! Just saying!), when it is all covered up it is easily ignored. But when it is exposed, our eyes dart straight to the previously forbidden sections and it is attractive! To our eyes, to our brain, and especially then our own private parts that come awake, it all becomes very sexual! At least until naked and exposed is the norm, in which case, no one cares.

When i am naked, i am the only one. Sir wears whatever he wants and that’s understandable, but i wear what i want and that i am finding he prefers…. which is nothing. And that’s understandable too.

To have your beautiful submissive wife strip off her clothes simply because you told her to, is indeed all very sexual.

Because we are still in NO-orgasm-VEMBER, he has been touching me just enough to get me to the very edge of orgasm. And then he stops. Of course, me being naked a lot makes this that much simpler too.

When we were in the hot tub earlier, he finger fucked me three different times. When i get near orgasm, i subconsciously bite my bottom lip. When i did it in the hot tub, he looked at me very sternly and said, “NO orgasm!” And he kept going.

It was NOT long and i looked him straight in the eyes and said, “Please Sir….” (with the rest being implied…”Can i cum?”). He again did not stop, but rather amped it up further by sticking a finger in my back hole along with another finger in my front hole and said, “Absolutely NOT! Do NOT orgasm!”

And when i then begged, “Please Sir may i cum? And if not, would you please stop?”

He responded with, “ok. I’ll stop. Because you asked.” And he laughed. i did not.

He repeated variations of this twice more. Where he finger fucked me until i begged him to stop.

i won’t lie, my ability to listen to his words (NO ORGASM!) and deny the release is becoming stronger than ever. Soon, or maybe already now, i will be to the place where i can cum (or NOT) on his command. i wonder if this is his goal or a side bonus that has come along the way!

i smiled at him and he laughed. i knew he was enjoying playing with me — both physically AND mentally —- and for that reason, i enjoyed it too. Although i can’t deny, i was seriously frustrated at my own sexual denial, i was very happy that he was happy.

Not long after, we got out of the tub and dried off. He dressed. i did not. And we watched tv, as casually as ever.

When it came time for bed, he said, “do you need to be locked up tonight?”

i responded, “if you think so, then yes.”

He said, “now that I’ve played with you to the edge and we are back home again, do you think you can control yourself tonight?”

i said, “yes.”

He said, “ok. Then let’s try it. But remember, you are NOT allowed to orgasm and because of that, it’s good if you just don’t touch it at all too.”

“Yes Sir.”

So no belt tonight. But still in chastity. Let’s face it, chastity doesn’t have to include a physical belt (although it makes it mentally easier when one does exist!)

And truthfully it is good. Both the belt AND being naked is good. i like both of them now. It makes my Sir happy and i am starting to see a change in my thoughts from “I MUST ORGASM” turning into “i must do things that make him smile.”

So if he’s happy, then i am too! i chose joy! i chose to stand tall, not to cower OR to cover (except when required for life or told to cover my puss with chastity!)

Here’s to being naked much of the time…. And being in a chastity belt a lot too… and to completing two full weeks of NO-orgasm-vember … while being happy!

[While in the hot tub, Sir said, “yah know, I rather like the way you are more attentive now when you aren’t orgasming all the time. I’m thinking another month may be good. Maybe waiting to give you an O until Christmas would be an excellent idea……”. And my response?? i said, “if you think it would be good, then i am on board with your decision.” And we both knew i meant it. A mere 14-days ago i would NOT have said it, let alone meant it! Time will tell. But i truly am getting to be OK with the journey, not just the destination!]

Hugs,

Marie

214 – My DISCIPLINED LIFE is not just about sex

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 214 – My DISCIPLINED LIFE is not just about sex

**Fair warning… full of deep thoughts and i got extra wordy today. Hope you stick to the end, but if you don’t, i get it! 😉

As of late, i have written a lot more about sex than discipline. While allowing sex to happen in any moment that pleases my husband is being submissive too, my “disciplined life” isn’t just about that either.

(** but in times of my intentional orgasm denial, i tend to think, walk, and talk S-E-X… so it’s easy to talk about A LOT!). Plus, domination and submission is sexy too. So there’s that!…. ANYWAY…..)

Our relationship does have rules, just not a formal contract, that include more than “just sex stuff” and all rules apply all the time. No matter where we are, what we do, who is with us…. The rules apply.

That may sound harsh, but i like it. It is consistent. We both know what to expect. i won’t say the rules are always applied correctly, or that we don’t change them, or that sometimes the rules need to be bent for certain situations because, well….they do. i should add that not just the rules are bent, but the consequences are sometimes also as well. While having “always applied” and “consistent practiced” being the ideal, it’s not practical. Unfortunately we have “life” that occurs causing rules and consequences to be bent.

The most obvious of reasons why the rules change (or get bent or transgressions more quickly forgiven without any real consequences) is illness. When either one of us do not feel well, it’s hard to do anything at all, let alone be dominant or submissive.

And sometimes we just “don’t feel like it” too. The most obvious time we don’t “feel” up to following the rules or enforcing the consequences is STRESS (and-or deadlines), especially stemming from work.

When we don’t feel like it, we have problems though. “Houston….. we have a problem” or multiple problems even!

Usually the problems start with ignoring the rules. When we say “it doesn’t apply” in this situation or for this reason or let’s take a break tonight or or or….. it amounts to excuses.

And like all things in life, we need to adhere to certain rules whether we “feel” like it or not. For example… can you imagine ignoring trash day because you don’t feel like it? Or how about ignoring the electric bill because you were “too busy” to get it paid?

We live by rules in our everyday life for a reason: to keep order.

And when they are not followed: chaos ensues.

So what are my rules? Really the answer to this question is also, in part, why we don’t have a contract. My rules are fairly general and generic. Things like, “Always show respect” and “Never talk back” and “say Sir when speaking to David”. And of course, i recently spoke about them in-depth recently and you can read all about it if you’d like.

Most of the times, my rules are easy but sometimes being so generic, it gets misunderstood or misinterpreted and that lands me in hot water. Most of the time though, the trouble i land is is me trying to use the vagueness to my advantage when i don’t “feel” like following the rules. That’s when i say, “oh. i didn’t realize you wanted ME to do that.” Or “i didn’t hear you Sir.” When i did. i knew. And i heard just fine. But I ignored him. On purpose.

And he knew it too.

Now he knows i lied too.

But he can’t prove it either.

And we both know.

THIS is where a good Dominant will enforce the rules anyway. Maybe a warning or a small punishment would be good. The first time. But not over and over.

So does David have rules too you ask? Well…. To lead our family, including me. He is to be fair and reasonable. Not change the rules on a whim. And enforce the rules for me when needed, whether he “feels” like it or not. Of course like me, sometimes he doesn’t “feel” like it.

When rules are enforced, we both know it has nothing to do with feelings or emotions. There’s a black and white situation at hand. There was a rule. It was broken. Consequences ensue. Consequences are enforced.

Period.

The end.

Feelings are not even relevant. He shouldn’t ever feel guilty about giving a spanking, making me stand in a Corner, or do whatever it is that is appropriate for the situation. Nor should i become emotional, try to twist the situation, or try to get out of the punishment. i earned it, i deserve it, and when it is administered we will both forgive, reset, and move on. (**Notice i did NOT say “forget”? Because neither of us should forget. If the transgressions are forgotten, then the rule is likely to be broken again and again causing unnecessary strife for all!)

i suppose really, how we both act or respond during punishment time is somewhat of a rule also. While i may not want it, or he may not want to give it, it is what it is at that moment. Like trash day… take it out and be done. Don’t overthink it, don’t try to change it, or make someone feel guilty, ashamed, or otherwise emotional about it. Similarly, David should just do it, and i should just accept it.

While it would stand to reason that most of the time, a punishment should be immediate, sometimes it’s not.

The three most obvious reasons that come to mind for not administering punishment immediately are:

1) being in a public place at the time, and

2) around our son and

3) when David is mad.

Taking those one at a time….

PUBLIC PLACES: i would say i tend to act up most while in public. i think the little devious side of me creeps in and says, “there’s nothing he can do about it right now.” So i say/do whatever i want, knowing nothing is going to happen. At least, not then or there. (**Read: brat submissive!)

Not then or there….But there’s no reason why it shouldn’t happen later or in a private place. And to that point, sometimes David doesn’t “feel” like it later or we are tired or we forget….. which gets me out of it. i think in some ways, i am counting on him to not feel like it later. Or maybe i am testing him too. Maybe not in an intentional, well-thought-out or appropriate way, and definitely not an appropriate one either.

A Dominant should always be true to his word. If he says, “you’ll be punished for doing xyz”, then you should be. Even if it happens later. But again, we (as humans, including my Dominant Sir) don’t always feel like it.

Let’s face it, we are not young kids or animals. We don’t have to have the punishment be swift or immediate. Because it’s not like i will forget that quickly why i am being punished later! And if i were to actually forget, it’s not hard to be reminded and think back to it when the punishment is administered too.

2) AROUND KIDS: Kids of any age are likely to think Mom is being beaten and abused if they were to hear Mom being spanked by Dad!

Spanking is NOT a quiet activity. Not only my yelps or tears, but David asking why are we here and talking to me too….. but ESPECIALLY noisy is the paddle itself when it collides with my ass cheeks. It makes a “smack” sound that is not quiet at all. (**there’s a reason why i write “S-M-A-C-K” when i describe my spankings in other posts!).

And while Domestic Discipline is in our marriage and a part of who we are, it’s not easily understood by ADULTS even. i know many of you don’t understand this is consensual, band while i can assure you: it IS!!; HOW would i ever be able to explain that to a child?

When i say child, i don’t just mean small ones. Our 17-year old, Senior in HS is still a child. He does not know about our DD household. (**no, he truly doesn’t!). Many people think and have even told me in emails, “he’s not stupid. He knows!” but i most definitely know he does not. i know this because we do not do any activities, including spanking, ANY time he is in the house. David has always spanked me when our son is away. The only thing our son has ever heard is me saying, “Sir” to David but here in the south, that’s reasonably the norm and our son doesn’t think much of it. (i even received a recent group email with several colleagues and clients were on the email, where one of the people replied all to a previous man’s statement with, “Yes Sir.”. My point is, even in the workplace, hearing someone say those words is not very uncommon.)

3) David is Mad. David has NEVER hit me, intentionally or otherwise, when he was mad. This is how i know he loves me unconditionally. No matter what caused his anger towards me, he has NEVER laid a hand on me until after his anger subsides.

And yet, when the anger subsides, those are the times when i KNOW i WILL be punished for it. The consequences or punishments are ALWAYS dolled out for these times. Without fail. But ALWAYS when he has calmed down.

David says he doesn’t trust himself when he gets angry to not beat me, to not go too far, to not just lash out with all he has. So because he’s still in control, of himself and our household, even when he is his most angry self, he refrains from dishing out all that i deserve.

And that’s how it should be!

That’s the difference between wife-beating and wife-discipline. That’s the difference between consent and non-consent. That’s why i know i can and do trust him to spank me when i most need it, but to never go too far either. And that’s why it’s consensual.

So… MY DISCIPLINED LIFE is about more than sex. It’s about rules. Every day, all the time…. But sometimes not always followed or enforced, even if it should be because… well… that’s life. But we try to do our best and move on from there.

Hugs,

Marie

209 – Happiness is a warm (chastity) blanket

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 209 – Happiness is a warm (chastity) blanket

i really don’t know that i can explain my fascination with chastity but i am going to try…..

When i wear my belt, it gives me comfort. Kind of like a security blanket. It makes me happy. It makes me crave more of it.

We put things we want to keep under lock and key. Our car, house, valuables in a safe, are all locked up when not in use. So when i wear a chastity belt, it is a tangible, visible, and especially physical reminder that my pussy is not mine at all. And it’s valuable enough to want to lock it up, and to be kept safe, until it’s use it needed or required.

i especially think it is super submissive of me to lock myself in it (consent), and to hand over the key willingly (control) to Sir.

i actually think it looks super sexy when it’s on too. i really like watching around the house with nothing on except the belt. It is a very visible reminder that what is locked up is not mine.

** Side note: i have been chatting online with two possible additional Doms . i have told you before that David gives his consent for me to find another Dom. In fact, i think to some degree he would like that very much so that he wouldn’t have to always be the enforcer and he would also get a break/relax while I am still held accountable. Any who, if/when i actually go meet either of them in person, i intend to ask David to allow me to wear the chastity belt. i do NOT want to be tempted to meet and fuck on the same day. … and that’s expansion for another day’s post… back to today…

Today i found a blog for the first time ever, of a chastity belt “armor” daily wearer. Until she stopped. Wendy Warrior wore chastity regularly, even did 30-day challenges to stay locked the ENTIRE time, and blogged about it.

i truly hate it that i only just found her, as her most recent/last post was to tell her readers she’s done with armor. No longer fascinated or desirous of it. i get it. We grow older and wiser and our interests change. None the less, i enjoyed reading her entire blog from the beginning to the end.

What i learned was that: 1) she mostly wore chastity overnight. Some people put on PJ’s, she put on armor. 2) she challenged herself to wear it 30-consecutive- days with no (or very extremely limited) breaks. 3) she did the challenge FOUR different times with four different belts with critiques of them along the way.

For most people, it would likely cause you to turn up your nose, or raise your eyebrows, ask “WHY” or maybe even literally run in the opposite direction! Not me. i am drawn closer to it! i am in awe of Wendy, but more enamored even yet of chastity! It inspired me even more. And i want more of it.

While i didn’t provide the specific site to David (i seriously don’t think he’d care to go read it anyways!), i did tell him about it.

By the way, he’s not entirely sure he understands my extreme interest in chastity either. But he supports me and wants me to be happy and if locking up my parts so i can’t touch them while giving him the key, so he can if he wants to, then he’s on board.

He’s so much on board that he has made a declaration now that i should start sleeping in chastity. And nothing else.

He’s known (for a long time!) that i am most turned on and “needy” for Sex just before sleep and shortly after waking up. i rarely sleep naked, and usually wear a shirt/shorts (or pants in the winter) combo because it (somewhat) limits my access and distracts me from the interest of playing with my sex. That’s apparently about to change!

Before now…. When we go to sleep, while we get in bed together we both read for a bit, and then David tends to be the one to actually fall asleep first. He knows i like to read (sex) blogs and erotica, and as i do, i tend to masturbate right beside him. Sometimes with permission, but admittedly sometimes without. (Not cool, but… yah know!).

And unfortunately, i must admit the truth to you…. i have had orgasms this way too. Yes, some with permission when he was awake, but some without. And even less pleasing, more shameful, i haven’t always told him the next day.

And then there’s the times that as i wake up, i am surprised to find my hand rubbing on my clit. It’s a half-awake effort, so i know i’ve never seriously done anything in my sleepiness. But….. i have learned i am quite aroused in the mornings and frequently at night as well.

After i told him about this girl and how she sleeps in chastity, he feels that would be good for me too.

Starting tonight, i am to sleep naked save wearing the chastity belt. i will put it on before he goes to sleep, and hand him the key so that i am not allowed to just escape ( or masturbate) any ole time i feel like it before sleep. And well, by default, then i will also be required to ask him to release me in the mornings. And even more by default, i won’t be allowed to play with myself with or without an orgasm.

i am excited about this. Today. But excitement is easy now as i am just thinking about it. But then as it goes on tonight …. And becomes my new reality…. by tomorrow …. Or the next day…. Or THE NEXT DAY….. i wonder how excited or good i’ll feel about it then. Maybe not so much.

It will be interesting to see if my fondness grows or dissipates. i wonder if i will (really) love it or come to hate it.

Only time will tell. i will keep you posted.

Btw – i have typically worn the belt during the day in/out of the house. While i have slept in it one other time, it hasn’t happened but once to date. That happened when i wore the belt a full 24-hours without being allowed release. And i loved it. Sleeping in it was of no major consequence and was no problem at all. While the metal is (obviously) rigid and unforgiving, when i turn over it did cause me to wake from my sleep, but like everything i suspect i will get used to it too and be more able to sleep right through those moments.

Honestly, wearing it at night seems more logical as a purposeful activity anyway. i mean, seriously, other than as a tangible reminder all day long, it’s not like i typically am going to be at work and rub one out at my desk. Nor in the car driving. Or shopping at the grocery store. Or any other public outing type place. (Of course, as mentioned above, if i were to actually go meet some other potential lover, i do think that would be a good time to wear it out. Until said person is vetted by myself, and especially approved by Sir, unnecessary distractions are…well… unnecessary!)

But at night, when my mind is less crowded with daily life, i read my smut, and get aroused…. THAT is the time that access needs to be limited. THAT is the time that i need to be reminded not to touch, and where it is SO easy to do so. THAT is the time that MY temptations need to be limited! So wearing it at night is the most logical for me to wear it, if we want to use it for purpose. Otherwise, daily wear is a-ok and sexually arousing too, but not exactly purposeful either.

In case you are wondering, i have NO idea how long this will last. i don’t know if this is a “for tonight only” or “until NO-vember is complete” or “why it’s forever of course!” i didn’t ask. Time will tell me what i need to know and the answer doesn’t matter as i’d do as instructed no matter what anyway. Hell, i may ask him if i can wear it more going forward too… which i can see as the most probable answer actually.

And… i think i’m gonna love it. i will keep you posted…..

i do think one day, if i do continue to love it, i’d like to work up to and challenge myself also to that 30-day challenge. (But if i get that far, i’m buying a top notch heavy duty $$$ one too! Like these MY-STEEL or maybe these FANCY STEEL. 🥰🥰🥰) .

UPDATE: i didn’t even have a chance to post this yet, and i find myself locked up. David and i had an amazing date night where i drank most of a bottle of wine all by myself. i got drunk. David approved.

When i get drunk, i get VERY turned on and i flirt heavily. i was (literally) humping David’s leg, hand, and on top of his pants … he didn’t allow me to actually have penetration. i heard him make statements like, “NO orgasm for you!” And “You better stop!” And “if you orgasm, you WILL regret it!” Admittedly, i was pushing the EDGE of acceptable. Not entirely sure WHY i did that. Ok, that’s a lie. i do know why. i was drunk, fucking hair you, REALLY wanting an Orgasm, and i was hoping if i got him aroused enough too he’d consent. i also think i may have wanted to test him. AND did i mention…. i really wanted to orgasm!

He indulged me for a bit, let me suck his cock, kiss his lips, and he fingered my pussy for a hot second (it was quite literally a SECOND. Enough for me to think, “oh hell yah, i have him turned on and he’s gonna let me orgasm.” And it was over! NOT long! And that’s when he said, “Now. Go. Get yourself ready for bed.”

Because he had already told me WAY earlier in the day i would now sleep in chastity, i KNEW when he said “get ready for bed,” those words were interchangeable for, “Now go get yourself locked up.”

As much as i didn’t want to stop trying to seduce him, i went and put on the belt. By the time i returned, he was already reading in our bed. He didn’t even look up but knowing my presence was near, he held up the palm of his hand.

i wasn’t dumb, i knew i had to hand him the key. As i placed it in his hand, his fingers curled up around it and slid his hand under the covers.

As i saw his hand disappear under cover, i asked what he was doing with his hand/key. He said,”don’t worry about it.” Which may as well have been code for, “it’s none of your business!”

After which, he said, “now go lay down and get ready for sleep.”

i won’t lie… it was at this moment that my alcohol high, along with my sexual attempts to get an O high m came to a screeching halt. Back to reality. NO-vember is still in full effect! And he was done indulging me.

We always read before sleeping. And that’s what he did, like every other night. Just prior to actually turning out the light to sleep, he asked me, “do you need the key?”

Because we’ve been together so long, i knew what that meant too. He meant, “Are you ok? “ and “Will you be ok?” To which i responded, “only if i can orgasm. Otherwise, I am good to have you keep it Sir.”

That’s when he turned out the light, and in the dark, i heard the words, “Ok, sleep well my love… MY good girl.”

And i said, “you too Sir.”

So.

Here i am.

Locked up. And he is sleeping beside me. And i find myself thinking of NOTHING other than: I WANT TO ORGASM! And yet, it ain’t gonna happen!

And while i truly DO want it that BAD, i won’t lie…. i’d be severely disappointed had he NOT made me put on the chastity belt AND give him the key AND denied me what i really want. He made statements that he was on board with NO-vember and that this is how i would sleep now…. And as i have mentioned before, i love it when he’s consistent and true to his word! So while i am disappointed i was not able to get what i wanted (orgasm), i did get what was promised (NO-vember and chastity belt and that makes me happy.

i did ask him before we officially stopped talking for the night if this would be the “new norm or just occasionally or just until the end of NO -vember.” His response, “I haven’t decided yet. Maybe it will be forever and only when i want to fuck you will i allow you to be unlocked!”

While we both know that’s not likely or maybe even possible (??), the idea of only being allowed out to be used for his pleasure is seriously arousing for me too!

What i do know: he’s serious about NO-vember. Dec 1 can’t get here fast enough!! Will he at least allow me to orgasm once on my birthday?? i turn 50 on Thanksgiving… 5-days before month end! And if he does, will the “month” start all over again?! i will have to pray about this… yes, i will literally be praying!”

So like Linus with his blue happiness blanket, i have a silver metal chastity belt happiness blanket that i too sleep with all snuggled up against me tightly. i love my blanket and the happiness it brings.

Hugs,

Marie

203 – It’s officially NO-orgasm-vember!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 203 – It’s officially NO-orgasm-vember!

Sometimes i play mind/DOM games with myself. In times when i am feeling particularly submissive but David is not quite as “DOM” as i particularly feel is needed, i play games with myself.

When i become “needy”…. i NEED a lot more domination and i need to have my full submission required… and tested.

That’s when i start the mind games with myself.

In some ways, and maybe in some people’s minds, this isn’t exactly appropriate to “play with myself.” After all, i should rely on David to know what’s best… for both of us. i admit, that is true. But i am still needy. And when i try to ignore my (extreme) need to be dominated, it tends to cause angst and distress…. Which leads to trouble. So instead of bothering him, i decide to play games with myself. Nothing (usually) that is against the rules, just amping it up a notch is all. (i know…..justification…. But.. still!)

i decided yesterday that i need to be reminded for the rest of the month of NO-vember (or at least until my birthday on the 25th), that my sexual pleasure is not up to me. i sometimes need to be reminded that my sexual neediness is not appropriate as i am supposed to be needy for him and not for me!

So …. i decided to deny myself any (ultimate) sexual pleasure but to tease myself a LOT for the rest of the month! i decided every day i will edge myself first thing in the morning. Then i will wear something to work every day under my clothes – rotating between an Anal plug, chastity belt, and pussy dildo. This would happen every-single-day, as a physical reminder to be submissive ALL day EVERY day. When i have sexual reminders, it carries from my sexual, to the physical, to my mind, where i say (and do) things more respectful, more kind, and less aggressive too.

My ultimate intent is that this will make me more sexually needy for Sir, while denying myself simple (and easy!) pleasures.

What i didn’t count on (or even think about) was that David may want to pleasure me for his pleasure…. Especially so soon.

Wouldn’t you know … 24-hours after i started this….. i had to tell him.

i was standing naked, in our closet after edging myself, deciding what to wear for the day, when he came in. He tweaked my nipple while asking me if i wanted a reward for being a good girl.

Of course i wanted that! But i had JUST edged and told myself to be a good girl and STOP. Literally stop. So i didn’t go over the edge, but also stop being so needy. And to prepare for a plug for the day. i was officially in my own submissive mind!

So while i didn’t intent to… i hesitated in my response. i hesitated too long and he heard the pause. He also saw the conflict in my eyes. And he said, “what?”

So i told him.

i said, “i don’t think i need to orgasm for the rest of NO-vember … or at least until my birthday. i think i have been too needy lately, so i thought i would deny myself that pleasure while not bothering you. But if you want to give it, then i will take it!”

Well …. He smiled and said, “huh. Well. Sounds reasonable. Lay on the bed anyway.”

He put his head between my legs and proceeded to lick his pussy until it was very-very-VERY needy. And then he stopped. He said, “I like your thinking. So in keeping with NO-vember, that’s enough.”

i was begging him for release. i said, “Please don’t stop Sir!” He smiled and said, “well, I have to say NO. After all, it is NO-vember!”

He lifted himself up where we were face to face. He was fully clothed as i was naked, and i tried rubbing against his pants with my needy pussy in hopes i’d be suggesting he should get naked too. Instead, he said, “DO NOT cum!” And lifted himself and then me off the bed, gave my ass a good smack and said, “now go dress for work already.”

So with a plug in my ass, i was off to work. Tomorrow it will be chastity, and the next an inflatable dildo in my needy pussy. Maybe it will stop being needy … but i kinda doubt it!

i suppose my mind games just got real for both of us. And now my birthday should be explosive!

Hugs,

Marie

200 – TWO HUNDRED posts later

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i have tried to think of some “wow” kind of post for the #200. i would be lying if i didn’t say that i am wow’d that i am to this place and that i have gotten this far. i recognize there have been some spots of “intermission” between my blog posts, but now more than 2-years later, i am still blogging and still loving my disciplined life!

This feels like some kind of milestone to be celebrated, and yet, i can’t think of a better post to craft than what i already had in mind before i realized it was the BIG 2-0-0.

So. ——— Boring it is ———- That’s the topic.

Yep. BORING.

This is the best word to describe how DD goes sometimes. Depending on the particular rules in place for a submissive, it could be nothing more than “waiting to screw up”. Meaning, there’s not always a lot to DO to be submissive. i mean, how much work is it to “be respectful”? Seriously, not a lot of WORK. i’m certainly not saying i get it right all the time, but it’s sometimes not “work” to be submissive either.

Think about it. When you go to work, you have tasks to DO. When you come home and have chores, you have things to DO.

And when i have nothing TO DO, it causes me to sometimes be bored. And to crave something TO -DO as it’s relates to me being submissive.

i think the times i feel most inclined to want to DO is generally the times when i am most desirous of doing things like wearing anal plugs or chastity belts, and getting naked when he tells me to and sitting beside him even when he doesn’t ask me to. If for no other reason, i feel like i am DOING something. And that “something” is pleasing to my Sir, which makes me feel even more happy to DO it too.

But to be submissive there’s just not a lot to DO really. Unless i am given what i call, “submissive tasks”

Some tasks that give me something to DO, can lead to positive, action forward results. Whereas other tasks are waiting for me to screw it up, which leads to negative and punishments to ensue. When i have nothing to DO (positively), that is typically the times where i start to do bad things (brat!) that lead to testing David about how far he will go before he enforces the punishment.

i read a few articles about this and about what types of tasks are good or useful. i put together the list below of what i liked most…. oh, and i put them into some broad categories just to be able to group them together.

SEXUAL: of COURSE this needs to be a thing! i mean, why would it NOT be? AND let’s start with the best first!

  • Told i can not ever orgasm unless i am within his eyesight. After all, it’s HIS pussy!
  • ALWAYS ask to orgasm, even if it is at your hand or cock. [this one we do now, but thought i’d add it to the list just to show it]. And deny me the release frequently … so i respect and appreciate the ones i am allowed that much more but i also so i don’t assume the answer will always be yes.
  • Be told to suck his cock at any random time for as long as he likes or until he says stop.
  • ALWAYS have my pussy devoid of ALL hair, with regular and random inspections to confirm compliance [we do this one too]
  • ALWAYS be ready for sex, in any hole at any time. And have random times where it actually happens, just to prove it can .. and i should truly be ready at any time.
  • only be allowed to wear panties or bra with permission [this is also one we do already too. i am granted permission fairly often, especially with the bra, for going to work where it is really needed under clothing.]

HOUSEHOLD SERVICE: these are what i would say many people might think of as a traditional “chore”…

  • NEVER be on the phone when i come in the house, at least not without permission.
  • Ask permission to purchase any nonessential item. Always. To keep us within the budget he set and have no surprises.
  • Sit at your feet, on the floor, while watching tv together
  • Have his coffee made every morning at a designated specific time.
  • NEVER have anything left in the kitchen sink – either wash it and put it away, or into the dishwasher immediately

SUBMISSIVE MINDSET/ REFOCUS: This could be useful as a reminder to be submissive and/or to get into the right head space

  • Walk in the house from work, go straight to our room, and stand in the corner. Stand there, possibly naked, until told otherwise, while focusing on resetting my mind from the “Dominant business woman” to the “submissive wife”.
  • Wear a chastity belt, a plug, or dildo for (maybe up to) a full 24-hours without allowing for the release until after the duration has expired that i would be begging for by then. [While i am made to wear these things, it’s never been for this long. Nor has my requests for release been denied.]
  • Sit at his feet, just because.
  • be told, “do not finish a single sentence spoken (to him) without ending it with the word Sir.” For example, “how was your day SIR.” Or “Dinner is ready SIR.”
  • Be told i have to to ask permission to get into bed. naked.

WHEN WE ARE OUT IN PUBLIC – like family dinners, date nights, or to an event or even just the grocery store!

  • He orders my food and drink(s) for me. Says there’s no reason for me not to trust what he orders.
  • Tells me i am not to eat until after he has started. Making me aware of his actions and to pay attention to the details.
  • Has me drive/ chauffer him so he doesn’t have to.
  • Picks out my clothing for the event. Tells me “no more and no less”
  • Tells me to ensure some part of me is touching some part of him. For example, i hold his hand, or have my arm around his waist, or have my leg touch his.
  • Have a sexy double date, that i know nothing about until we arrive there and he just says, “Act the way you know I’d expect!”

WHEN WE ARE APART – Whether it be for work or one of us is out of town

  • write a love letter to him. A minimum of XX pages.
  • Be told to send a text/call at a designated time, not to be early or late and never forgotten.
  • to be made to wear a piece of my submissive jewelry – necklace, bracelet or jewelry thong – every single day. And to text him a picture to show it is on. OR even have it locked in place and he has the key with him.

STRESS REFLIEF and/or We Are Home Together, But Alone – for either one of us, because we both have it and because the release is good

  • be asked to (NOT MADE TO!) accept a spanking. The reason being only that he needs to relieve his stress.
  • to be within his eyesight at all times from sun up to sun down. And if/when i need to leave his eyesight, like the bathroom use, i must ask permission. In order to focus on nothing but him (and i).
  • At a designated hour or particular day of the week, to be on my knees with no shirt on, while holding my tits at attention for him to kiss, cum all over, give a good smack to, … or… just look at.
  • not allowed to speak. For 24-hours. In order to focus on being calm, cool, and collected. And to understand that sometimes being quiet is best.
  • Randomly told to strip off some/all of my clothing, just because being naked is good to be stripped of coverings can be a tangible reminder not to hide feelings inside too (and He likes what he sees too!)

These are just the things i have thought about today. Who knows what i may think of tomorrow! What i do know is if i were given more tasks if things to DO (positive/ action-forward type) i am sure i will feel more useful. And less likely to act out negatively or in the brat way that i so often tend to DO. (What’s that phrase, “ideal hands are the devils’ play ground….” Just saying.)

Now i may need to go tell David to give me something to DO.

Okay, i thought about it for a split second… and i know i really do need to go tell David all this … now.

Hugs,

Marie