Skip to main content

Tag: chastity belt

225 – Cuckquean fantasy

When i first found out my husband was cheating on me, i was hurt. Badly. It hurt SO much, it took me a very LONG time to overcome. But over time, i have come to realize that watching my husband fuck another woman is a serious turn on for me. To the point that as i look back on it, and reflect about “her,” she would’ve been a perfect girlfriend for us now. But definitely not then. i have thought about it so much, that i’d probably say i could see “her” as the person in this story i am about to tell you.

i have serious fantasies about watching a woman satisfy my husband and i really SO wish this fantasy story i am about to tell you were true. Alas… it is not. Maybe one day…….

It finally arrived! The Fancy Steel chastity belt I have seriously wanted and all but begged to have. It is more durable than the cheap Chinese belt we’ve been using and made to order. Meaning, this belt was made with MY measurements alone and made specifically just for me.

Because of the fit and the durability, Sir can literally lock me in it for days on end if he wishes to. And he wishes to. And THAT turns me on too! His power over me, mentally and physically, is what I crave and now I have both or rather HE has both.

It is Wednesday. As night time approaches, he says, “Time to get ready for bed. Let’s get you locked into your new belt.” And after it’s in place, I have to say… it feels AMAZING! I can tell already it’s not going to chafe in odd places like the Chinese one did since it fits like a glove. Of course, it’s such a great fit, if I thought I might could get a finger to my clit in the one before (which i really couldn’t!) there is NO way to do so now. That’s ok, I shouldn’t be touching what doesn’t belong to me anyway!

While I normally sleep well in my belt, I guess I was so excited to have this new belt that I just didn’t. I couldn’t. Typically when I wear my belt to sleep it allows me to just rest my mind and turn away from the things I shouldn’t even be thinking, let alone wanting to touch! I just tell myself, “go to sleep already. Ignore any feelings of heat and arousal.” (And yes, I feel like I am in HEAT when Sir owns my sex and I’m not allowed to orgasm!)

As Thursday morning comes, I ask permission to be released and he says, “WHY?” When I indicated to use the bathroom, shower, dress…. Aka: daily activities (!) he said, “NO.”

“Wait. What? Why not?”

The words he spoke next were absolutely true. He said, “Because this fitted belt is designed for long term wear and that’s what you’ll be doing now. I will release you at my discretion and at the right times. Now is not the right time. So go do all those things while wearing your new belt and be happy about it too.”

While I was surprised, I was also turned on. My first real challenge in chastity and this will be fun! I hope anyway!

Thursday came. And went. I learned some new skills, like how to use the bathroom in chastity effectively and how to smile when Sir says, “get naked so I can see my beautiful new belt.” And I’m happy. Truly happy.

Friday has arrived. The belt still fitting nicely, but my new reality setting in. “Sir, can I be released today?”

He said yes.

“Wait. What?”

He said, “don’t question my decision.” And he suddenly produced the key, that was otherwise intentionally hidden from me, and just like that I was released. The release felt lovely. While I admit the belt was indeed more comfortable than the cheap Chinese one previously, I was craving the break from it too.

As I walked to the bathroom to shower, he followed me. He’s never done that. When I inquired about it, he said, “You will shower and dry off. And back into the belt you’ll go. I will be watching to ensure you don’t touch yourself anymore than necessary to simply clean it.”

Oh wow. Really? This really IS my new reality. He intends to have me locked up more than not! But this power exchange that he now exerting is seriously a turn on!

I sure enjoyed my shower, maybe a little too much honestly, but not in a bad “get myself in trouble” way. David didn’t say a word, thankfully. And after drying off I laid on the bed to get strapped in once again. I’m not entirely happy about being strapped back in so soon, but I accept it too.

Surprisingly just before officially locking me up, Sir put his tongue on my clit and began to suck. Oh yes, an added benefit for being a good submissive wife! And then I felt his finger go straight up into my pussy just as quickly and as immediately too. OH MY STARS!

His tongue and his fingers felt amazing. It was just a couple of minutes of intense ecstasy when I arched my back and was thanking him for this unexpected pleasure. I was just about to ask if I could orgasm when he pulled his tongue back and his fingers slipped out of my dripping pussy. Suddenly I felt his hand come down hard slapping at my clit, causing me to flinch. Taking me from pleasure to pain in one split second!

He spoke sternly saying, “That’s enough. Anymore and you might just think you can orgasm. But that ain’t happening!”

And just like that, it was all over and I was locked in again. To say I was sexually frustrated was a complete understatement, but mentally I was happy to be a pleasing submissive to my Sir. As always, I thanked him for using me the way he wanted to, even though I had so clearly wanted so much more than what I received!

Friday mid afternoon, I received a text from Sir as I was at work. It said, “Tonight we are going to have my lady friend over. Do you understand what I expect from you?”

Because this wasn’t the first time we’ve done this, I knew exactly what was expected from me as my Sir’s cuckquean submissive wife. I was to:

1) She is my mistress, the same as my husband as my Sir.

2) Get them both ready for sex.

3) Clean them both afterward.

4) Never speak, unless spoken to AND given permission to respond/speak back.

5) and NEVER ask to orgasm. I may or may not get to, but it will be at their discretion and will NEVER be allowed if I insist on asking!

So because I know the expectations, I texted back, “Yes Sir. I do know. And I’m looking forward to it too!” And I meant it too! This is going to be a super fun Friday for sure!

I don’t have ANY real idea or understanding as to why being locked in chastity AND being a cuckquean wife is such a turn on, but to deny that this is how I feel is unnecessary too. I own my truth! And tonight, it is about to be even more real!

He wrote back, “Good girl! I’m looking forward to tonight too!!”

And he knew I really was excited about our upcoming night. I know my services will make them happy, and if I am lucky, they will allow me to participate and/or have an Orgasm, but if not, I understand. But when I follow the rules, I almost always AM allowed to orgasm, so I am always on my best behavior for these date nights too!

As I arrived home from work, Sir was getting ready for our date night already. I wasn’t sure what the plan was, so I asked what I could do to get ready too. He said, “take your clothes off, make up the bed nicely, and kneel beside it. And wait.”

Of course, because he didn’t mention anything about the chastity belt coming off nor did he produce the key, I assumed the belt was to stay in its place. I was naked and in place in no time at all.

While it seemed forever that I had to wait, eventually I heard her voice. Sir wasn’t in the bedroom with me for most of the time I waited, as he was not concerned with me but rather waiting on his girl to arrive from the living room.

I heard the familiar clink of glasses as I realized they were getting drinks from the alcohol cabinet. I then heard them talking and laughing. Followed by a moment of silence, which I suspected was my husband kissing her deeply. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to the feelings of jealousy that sometimes arise, which is what I was feeling at that moment, but probably not what most people would think either. It was the feeling of being left out that was nagging at me, as I wanted to join in, but so far I was not yet invited to do so. I was told to kneel and wait. So that’s what I will do. And in the end, I know that whatever I end up with is intentional and what’s supposed to happen tonight too. At at this exact moment, I’m jealous while I wait.

Eventually they came to the bedroom, they were holding hands and smiling at one another, while each holding a drink also.

She came to me after dropping Sir’s hand. She bent over at her waist where she took my chin in the palm of her hand and tilted it up to greet her. I smiled but I didn’t dare speak. She said, “open your mouth.” So I did.

She poured the remainder of her drink down my throat and I swallowed as quickly as possible since there was a lot left with a seemingly endless flow. I was grateful for what she shared.

She turned to my Sir and said, “I think she liked it. This is a good thing as that’s just the first of what she’s needing to swallow tonight! Now. Where were we?”

With hearing her talk about me and the promise of being used, my pussy was set on fire. I felt my clit swelling, while pressing hard against the steel that was covering it. I pray the belt comes off and they use all my holes tonight!

That’s when she lifted her arms and pulled her shirt over her head, and she dropped it to the floor. She had no bra on. Sir set his drink on the table and grabbed up her beautiful boobs, one in each hand and began kissing her passionately. I was watching, but not speaking. How I soooo wanted to hold her breasts in my hands and touch her nipples with my tongue. I wanted to suck her nipple hard and cause her pussy to drip and get wet for my Sir, the way my pussy was now! That wasn’t what I was allowed to do though. Instead, I just sat and watched, while waiting to see if I would be used at all. And the more I watched, the more my pussy started to throb. I knew I was dripping wet already, and no one, including me had even laid a finger on my body.

That’s when Sir looked at me and said, “Hey wife… I know you are distracted, but I need you to focus and quit daydreaming! You need to be taking my pants off now. You need to start getting me ready.”

I snapped to attention. I was so excited to be invited to participate! I reached up and unzipped his jeans and pulled them to the floor as he was still kissing and fondling her breasts. I wedged myself between his legs and hers, and took his cock in my mouth and began to suck it hard. He continued to kiss her and rub her boobs. I heard him moan at the same time I also felt his cock swell in my mouth.

He pulled back and said, “ok, that’s a good girl. But don’t forget, you need to get my girl ready too.”

She had on a skirt, so all I had to do was lift the bottom of it over my head where I found she wasn’t wearing any panties at all. I lifted myself up on my knees to greet her sex, where I started to lick her pussy. I decided to use my one hand to stroke Sir’s cock to keep him hard, while I used my other hand to stick a single finger up deep inside her pussy!

With my tongue trying to duplicate to her what my Sir does to me, and my hands working too, I struggled to coordinate my motions and my thoughts. Everything was happening so quickly and my mind was racing! I found myself thinking about how Sir was doing this very thing, licking my pussy, just 12-hours prior as he was getting me ready for the day after my shower! Of course, I wasn’t allowed to orgasm but I know that’s exactly what his girl will be doing very soon.

Suddenly I felt her move her feet, right along with her pussy too, which caused my lips to loose the suction I had established. This was a cue to change our positions though too. After shedding their remaining clothing, they both laid on our bed. The bed that is mine and Sirs usually, but not tonight.

I stayed kneeling on the floor waiting for further instructions when I heard her say, “Didn’t you tell me her new belt came in?”

Sir said, “Yes, it did. She’s wearing it now. Wife, stand and show my girl your new fashion.”

So I did. And she gasped and said, “oh, wow, it looks amazing! Do you just simply love it?”

At first, I wasn’t sure if she was asking me or Sir that question, and since I knew better than to speak without permission I stayed silent.

That’s when she said, “Cuckquean. I asked you a question and I’d like an answer.”

I said, “Yes ma’am. I do like the way it looks and also how it feels too. But I would be lying if I didn’t say that I hope it will come off tonight and I will be invited to play with both of you.”

That’s when I heard her almost choke on her spit or maybe she was choking down a laugh. I couldn’t exactly tell. At the same time Sir said, “oh my love, I’m so sorry but that’s not in either of our plans. The belt stays on. Know your place tonight my good girl!”

I was mildly disappointed but didn’t want it to show and said, “Yes Sir.” Oh shit! I had verbalized my response. He said, “I don’t remember asking for a response. Assume the Position. NOW!”

I wasn’t allowed to speak! But I did. I fucked up in a big way! I immediately moved to get into the position for discipline.

Sir then said to his girl, “I’m very sorry about her miscue and bad behavior. She knows better than this. I regret that I have to take a minute to discipline her now, but I do hope you’ll be understanding too. I will make it up to you. I promise.” And I heard the tell tale sound of kissing lips.

To which his girl said, “I’d love to teach her a lesson if you’d allow me. She shouldn’t have caused us to be distracted from one another causing a delay to my much needed orgasm. That was incredibly obnoxious and rude of her and I’d like to teach her a lesson! Will you allow it?”

Sir handed her the paddle and he said, “by all means.”

Double shit. This is going to fucking hurt!

I heard her say, “I’m going to deliver 10-very-hard stinging swats. Then you’ll thank me and we won’t hear your voice the rest of the night.”

And without delay and quite immediate, the paddle collided with my ass where the belt barely moved. I am glad to have the fitted one on now as it held up nicely! And she didn’t lie, that swat hurt! One after another. She reigned down fast and furious while saying things like, “be a good wife!” And “do not be an interruption ever again!” And, “if you want to fucking orgasm ever again, you best act better than this!”

And with the last one, she paused with the paddle resting against my ass and said, “and now. The last one!”

SMACK!

Tears fell from my eyes after just the third one, and I was grateful she didn’t make me count aloud even though I had done so in my head. After the last one I uttered, “Thank you Ma’am.”

That’s when she said, “now make yourself actually useful! Do your job cuck! Get on the bed and lay on your back. I’m going to sit on your face so you can get me ready to accept your husband’s big hard cock!”

Of course, I moved quickly into position and worked to dry my tears in the process. As I lay flat on my ass, it hurt! I felt how raw my ass was. She tore it up in no time at all! It genuinely hurt to lay against the sheets but I wasn’t about to complain!

I immediately began to lick at her pussy, but from how wet she was already, I could tell she enjoyed spanking me too. My face was covered with her pre-cum juices as I lapped at her sex with genuine interest. Suddenly all the bad of the spanking was gone and the good of licking her delicious pussy was amazing! I became needy and was licking as fast and hard as I could. I needed this!

While we were doing these things, Sir was laying on the bed next to me stroking his cock. He said, “wow, that is such an amazing view. Seeing my submissive wife’s ass turned red by my lovely girlfriend’s hand. And now seeing her lapping at your pussy like she’s never been fed before! And you, my girl, looking deliciously happy. This is the hottest thing I’ve seen in awhile.”

That’s when Sir beckoned to his girl and said, “But now babe, I’m so ready to feel your pussy around my cock.”

She looked down at my face as I was still sucking her and she said, “oh guess what? I’m about to get fucked by YOUR husband’s cock! And guess what I’m about to do that you won’t be doing tonight?” She mockingly answered her own question by bringing her hands together to form the letter “O” while saying the word… O-R-G-A-S-M.

i felt Sir straddle my body where his legs pressed against the chastity belt, causing me to be keenly aware of the position I found myself! He pushed his girl face forward where her pussy still hovered over my face while her body was pressed into the doggie style position above me. She was on all fours, on top of my face. I felt my Sir shimmy up my body and say to me, “good wife, take my cock and position me to be able to penetrate her opening.”

I lifted his cock off my face and pushed it close to her opening. As I held it still, he pressed further forward and his cock disappeared into her wet and waiting pussy.

I watched as I saw every inch of my husband enter into his girlfriend’s needy pussy. There was nowhere to go. And nothing for me to do. There was no escape for me. I was physically pinned between her pussy and his cock as I watched him fuck her harder and harder.

My pussy throbbed under its lock and key. I felt it, but could do little to alleviate the ache that it caused. I arched my back and pressed my pussy hard against the belt’s front plate, hoping to feel some relief. To no avail! My pussy throbbed with need that was going to be left unsatisfied.

All this happened mere inches above my nose!

Sir said, “Good wife, put out your tongue and lick my balls as they move back and forth. You need to do your best to keep me happy while I keep her happy.”

His girl was indeed feeling happy. She was getting all the stimulation I so yearned to feel too. As my husband fucked her harder and faster, she suddenly let out the words, “oh fuck yah! I’m about to orgasm. Don’t stop! I want you!”

All the same things I wanted to say and feel, she was getting! And all I could do was enjoy the slap of his balls against her pussy and my tongue.

It was a mere hot minute more when I felt her back arch where she ended up pressing the front of her pussy hard into my face, covering my nose. That wasn’t exactly her intention, but it was what I felt too. As she did, she exhaled deeply. I could tell she was feeling that tell tale moment of orgasm release where everything just floods out. That was enough to send Sir to the edge of his orgasm too.

He said, “subbie, get ready to feel my cum on your face!”

As he started to climax, he pulled himself out of her, pressed his cock downward and orgasmed mostly down my throat, but also over my face too! It was hot and sticky cum that covered me.

They moved off of me and Sir said, “go clean your face and come back to clean us.”

As I moved from the bed, my belt made the usual clank sound making its presence known to all. I wiped off my face, and headed back to the bedroom where I found them snuggling together while laying on their backs, side by side, kissing gently.

He looked at me and then at Sir and said, “can we keep her in that belt every time I am over? I don’t want her to ever think you prefer her crappy cunt over my warm soft pussy.”

I heard all this as I was climbing onto the bottom of the bed. I began crawling up to lick Ma’am clean. As I was licking, I must’ve gotten a little too ambitious as she said, “Fuck! Stop sucking me so hard! You are supposed to be cleaning me not sucking me!”

She then said to Sir, “Your stupid fucking wife is apparently wanting more and trying to be greedy in her attempts to get it. She obviously doesn’t know her place right now!”

Sir sat up, looked me in the eye and said, “Stop! Stop being a fucking brat submissive!”

I slowed up and got them both cleaned up properly, while my pussy was aching for relief that I now knew would not be granted. After which, his girl dressed and said, “unfortunately I need to head home tonight.”

He saw her to the door and told me to wait patiently. When he came back, he came to me and kissed me passionately, while pulling on my nipples. He said, “That was some amazing sex for me, how was it for you?”

I responded, “while I loved being your cuckquean, submissive wife… as I always do, would you now allow me to be released to orgasm too Sir?”

He said with a pity look on his face, “oh, no …. certainly not my good girl. You’ll be this way for awhile. It’s good for you! Maybe I’d have allowed it if you had been a better Cuckquean tonight. Having to spank you in the beginning followed by your intense sucking at the end was not some of your best moves tonight. But alas, maybe next time! You didn’t earn it tonight and after you stay belted for awhile still, you’ll have plenty of time to rethink your actions. I bet next time you’ll really do better! Am I right?”

“Yes Sir. I was a little too zealous tonight. I’m sorry Sir.”

He shrugged and with that, he ended the conversation by saying, “now that I’m well relaxed, it’s time to go to sleep. Maybe another week in the belt and another opportunity to be a better cuckquean will earn you the release you are seeking. Until then, sleep well my love.”

With that, he turned out the lights. In the dark, I heard him say, “I love you my dear and I know you are a good submissive wife. Right?”

Of course, I responded, “Yes Sir. Thank you Sir for your love.” I am always happy to submit and happy to be used for my Sir’s pleasure, but hopefully next time, I will also be allowed release… from the belt AND to Orgasm along with them.

I won’t deny… my pussy is probably going to be keeping me awake tonight and every night for the next week with the throbbing and aching it now has to endure without hope of release!

Hugs,

Marie

PS in real life, I am soaking wet and dripping now just from writing this! This is a serious turn on and maybe one day it can be a reality, at least once anyway!

220 – Fifty years and one day later

For my birthday, i received amazing gifts, time with family, great food, and LOTS of candles on my cake too! i am still very happy, very grateful, and very thankful too. i wake up today feeling renewed and refreshed.

As we were lying in bed last night preparing for sleep, David asked me if i had a good birthday and of course, i absolutely did.

Then he reached over, pulled the covers back, and exposed my pussy. Bare. Void of all hair and clothing, as usual. He said, “so should I let you come again?” and he started to play with my clit.

Just the idea of being able to possibly come again amped up my sexual mind (and clit) to the next level. Yes, THAT fast!

i responded with, “that would be the perfect end to the perfect day!”

And he proceeded to get me off with the touch of his hand alone. He didn’t stop with just one… again. He let me orgasm twice more.

He asked, “So was having to wait for an orgasm better than having it anytime, all-of-the-time?”

“Oh yes! For sure!”

Then he said, “I agree. You appreciated this day so much more than I think you would have otherwise. Not to mention, you’ve been a very good girl lately, except of course your miscue earlier today.”

** rewind…. It was almost time to eat (gorge on!) our Thanksgiving meal……

As he was finishing the cooking (i do NOT cook, unless of course we want to be poisoned, which we don’t!), i started to get out the plates and silverware. i set them on the counter, just under the cabinet they are stored in, which is right next to the stove. i wasn’t going to leave them there, but rather used it as an organizing and stacking space to get everything together at one time. He said, “You shouldn’t leave those there. I’m still cooking here.”

i looked at him and in an unintentional, snarky voice, i said, “i wasn’t planning on it!”

As soon as it left my lips, i was regretful and wished it hadn’t come out the way it did. He raised his eyebrows, turned his back where only i could see and hear him, effectively building a shield between us and the rest of family that wasn’t even paying attention anyway. And that’s when he said, “do you think that was the right tone to use?”

i immediately said, “No Sir.”

He said, “Then why did you speak to me that way?”

i said, “i didn’t intend it to come out that way. i am sorry Sir.”

He gave a nod to me then that conveyed the message, “because it’s your birthday AND thanksgiving AND family is around, your apology is accepted. But do NOT allow it to happen again or else you’ll find yourself Assuming The Position to be spanked!“

Y-E-S … i DID get that much out of his look! i know him THAT well.

i didn’t allow it to happen again and kept my actions and words in check the rest of the day.

And clearly, as we were heading to sleep, he hadn’t forgotten my words from earlier.

Even on my birthday… i am still his submissive wife. Always.

*** rewind done…. Back to our bedroom just before sleep……

When he was done playing with my pussy, i asked, “so will we back to no-touch and no-orgasm tomorrow? And if so, for what duration this time?”

His response was a matter of factly stated. He said, “I haven’t decided on either yet, but it’s really not your concern right now. Whatever I decide, I’m sure you will obey, correct?”

As i was put in my place (and i was A-OK with that!), i responded with the words he loves to hear, “Yes Sir.”

Then he asked me if i wanted to play with myself even more. When i said, “yes please,” he smiled, let out a small laugh, and said, “you may play and orgasm all you want… until midnight.”

And with that, i grabbed the vibrating rabbit dildo and got myself off just that quickly! He then said, “Do it again!” And i did. (Had to obey an order, right?? 😉)

With that, he turned out the light, turned over, said, “I’m going to sleep now. You have until midnight. Don’t keep me up or wake me up with noise, otherwise, Happy Birthday my love. My Good Girl!”

i responded with, “Thank You Sir.” And i opened my tablet to my favorite (literature) porn site with my rabbit inside me.

** side note: i prefer to READ porn over watching it. When i read it, it is a bit slower build up to the good parts and i can imagine myself as the submissive with David as the Dom. Not to mention, i think my imagination is far wider than the porn i have watched too! Here is my favorite site… in case you wanted to know: Www.Literotica.com

*** Another side note: at one point, i set up an account as an author and wrote a couple of stories. i submitted them for review (and hopefully to be published), only to find their editors were intense. They gave a lot of feedback, to which I didn’t much care for. Most of it was grammar and spelling, but also a bit more to the content too. Does anyone reading porn really care if you start/stop a paragraph after there is a “quote”? Or if the comma is inside the “quotation,” or not? << see the examples? Well apparently they do! And i guess maybe their readers do too!

So it made me mad and that’s what prompted this site! i wanted to write whatever… whenever… and however….and not have an editor! i am a bit selfish, aren’t i?? 🤣

i only lasted one more orgasm longer. i was so relaxed and contented with the day, i actually ended up falling asleep shortly thereafter.

This morning now i have NO idea if no-touch/ no-orgasm is in effect again, but i would be shocked if it’s not. i have learned a lot these last 17-days (yes, i was counting!), including how to pay more attention to Sir’s words, be a better good girl for him, appreciate orgasms more, sleep in a chastity belt (while being grateful to NOT have easy access to myself), and in the process….. growing deeper in my submissive mind too.

As much as I hate to admit it….. orgasm control/denial is a GOOD thing for me …. and Sir too. And we both know it now too!

**** while it won’t arrive that quickly …for my Christmas present, Sir agreed to let me order a Fancy Steel belt. i know it will be a good thing for both of us! He is going back out of town today (Friday) for 2-days, but this time it is just he who is going. He even commented, “if the FS belt were here already, I’d lock you in it and take the key with me to ensure you remain a good girl this weekend!” And my pussy got wet at the thought! The Chinese belts are ok for up to about 24’ish hours, but then it starts to chafe in odd places. Whereas the FS one shouldn’t do that as it is custom made to fit me with my measurements. So for longer periods of time, like 2-3 days …. Or really as long as we (or should i say HE) might desire…. The Fancy Steel belt will be much better for long-term wear!

Happy Day-After-Thanksgiving and my birthday!

Hugs,

Marie

216 – Change…. Is a happening.

Change. A single word that tends to cause a lot of people a lot of strife. i try hard to embrace it. A friend once told me to substitute the words “process improvement” for the word “change,” BECAUSE no one ever makes a “change” for the worse only for the better! Sometimes there are unintentional negative consequences when change occurs, but it’s never the goal either.

Well…. In the space of (basically) a week, i’ve had a lot of process improvement with great results!

When i receive comments on a particular post (or two), i tend to re-read the actual post as well. i especially do this when the original post is a bit older, like some of my original stuff 2-3 years ago now. But on occasion, i reread the newer stuff too. That’s usually when i find typos and correct them, or i add links to sites or posts, but i try NOT to amend or adjust the original content i made as it was how i thought or felt at the time of the post. And it makes for interesting reflections for me now too, to see the journey and plot twists along the way.

So when KDPierre posted a comment to me on my post that i made JUST ONE WEEK AGO, where i declared myself a sex addict in need of rehab (and chastity), i decided to reread the entire post again. i read the desperation now that i felt then. Now i have a renewed (detoxed!) presence of mind that i did not possess then. The only things I knew then were:

1) i want to orgasm REALLY badly,

2) i was (almost) wiling to do anything to get it,

3) that i was struggling to be submissive, yet desperately wanted to be,

4) wanted to still be a pleasing submissive wife to my Dominant Sir.

i was aware enough to know i needed to lock my sex out of my control to help me remain compliant, as i detoxed out of my selfish masturbating ways.

Now ….. just 7-days later, i realize just how far i’ve come in my sex-detox process in such a few short days, as we are STILL in NO-orgasm-VEMBER.

Change. Sometimes it is quick and sometimes it is not. Overall, i’d say this change has been quick. Not saying i am all the way there, but absolutely in a better place today over where i was last week too! (Wondering already what next week’s improvement will look like!)

While i’d love to orgasm still, i no longer want to move mountains to get it. i no longer think i have to have it. And i especially don’t think i have to have it RIGHT NOW! Instead, my focus has shifted away from me and onto my Sir. While admittedly, my focus should have been on him all along, somewhere along the way it became less about him and rather more about me, at least as it relates to sex and sexual pleasure. And until this orgasm control denial started and i experienced that extreme withdrawal, i didn’t even realize it!

What i realize now is just how badly NO-vember was needed! BEFORE NO-vember started, when i asked to suck his cock, i had ulterior motives. i was doing it because i wanted to get him hard, ride his cock, and get to my own orgasmic pleasure. While all of my actions got him to a happy ending also, my motives were really rather selfish in that i was doing it for me and justifying it in the process by telling myself it was making him happy.

Last night, however, we were laying in bed watching tv. Specifically we were watching college football. Absolutely nothing sexual or porn-like, when i asked him if i could suck his cock. i genuinely wanted to feel his cock getting hard in my mouth but really for no selfish reason at all. If he was wanting it, i wanted to get him off to really give him the sexual pleasure and release he deserves.

He was skeptical. He looked at me and said, “you aren’t going to be allowed to ride my cock. And you can’t get the orgasm that it seems you are after. So if you want to do this just to get what you want, it’s not going to happen!”

It became apparent to me then that he also has thought i have been selfish in my sexual actions. But last night, i genuinely did NOT want to orgasm (okay, i did, but it was NOT my driving motivation! ) but rather to get him to a happy place and for me to service him the way he deserved too.

i realized that he hasn’t been able to have sex with me this entire No-vember because he didn’t think i had enough self control to be penetrated without orgasming in the process. Sadly, a week ago, he was dead on accurate. Now though, while i can’t say how long i’d successfully hold out without having to ask him to stop or pull out, i could do it.

He allowed me to suck his cock while he watched football. i told him before it started to “tell me when you want me to stop or you orgasm, whichever comes first.”

He said ok and i positioned myself between his legs and began to suck him hard. i played tongue twirling games, then changed up the pattern, and used my hands along with my mouth a bit too. That’s when he grabbed the back of my head and pressed himself deep in my mouth, and then started pulling my hair to lift me back off again. He started to fuck my mouth up and down and faster and faster.

When we were done, he told me to show him my pussy. He wanted to see just how wet it was.

i responded with, “Yes Sir” and did as he told me to.

i already knew i was dripping wet, and when his fingers touched me and found how slick i was he smiled and commented about it. As he began to fondle my clit, he looked me in the eye and asked me, “and how much further can you go before you ask to orgasm??”

He had me stand there and he played with me until i begged him to “stop now Sir, or else i will go over the edge and orgasm.” To which he did stop.

When i started to get in bed on my side, he said, “how did that feel?”

i spoke truth when my response was, “simply amazing Sir! i hope you feel the same. My ultimate hope is that you can eventually feel as if you can use my holes to your pleasure without thinking i can’t control my orgasms enough too.”

He smiled and said, “I can see that you are getting there now, as you pleasured me tonight without you becoming so needy to get your own orgasm in the process. But let’s not tempt you beyond your limits either. You probably need to be locked up tonight, don’t you think?”

While i was proud of what i was able to accomplish…. Focus on HIM and NOT on me!!! ….. i was already thinking about how far can i test myself without it being just too much too!

So i said, “i have to agree Sir.” And i went and voluntarily locked myself up for a cozy night with Glory in her place and the keys were handed to my Sir.

All this to say ….. detox hasn’t been easy, but it is happening. My process is improving. My focus is becoming redirected away from me and onto David. This denial has been good. While I didn’t want to have to sleep in a chastity belt to keep myself from touching myself.. again…. this week of night time lock up has been good.

i won’t lie, i would orgasm today if he’d allow me to. But i also accept that it will not be allowed either. i hope that even when i am allowed to, that it is followed up with times of not being allowed to again also.

i don’t want to end up back where i was. i know this change, or process improvement, is good in the end. And it needs to remain in place.

When KD Pierre posted his comment, i saw he has a blog spot of his own, and i read some of his posts and specifically the one he mentioned in his post to me from December 2020. It’s there that he talked about the benefits of orgasm control/denial. That you never lose the desire to O, but when it’s controlled by another, you learn to appreciate it that much more. You learn how to be attentive to the one you serve and to be an even-better submissive. T-H-I-S is so true for me!

i need to maintain my focus on my Sir and his pleasure, respect the rules, and be grateful for the O’s that are given instead of pouting and/or becoming resentful of the ones i think i should be entitled to… after all, as i also wrote about just yesterday….. the O is a gift to be thankful for!

Hugs,

Marie

215 – My 50th Birthday Gifts

My 50th birthday is on Thanksgiving this year. November 25. Next week. Fast approaching. In the month of NO-orgasm-VEMBER.

It’s unclear and Sir is still undecided if i will be allowed to orgasm on my birthday or not.

Last week we were talking about what gifts i would like to receive for my birthday. My immediate response was, “An explosive orgasm.”

To which he responded, “what else?”

i said, “a new purse please Sir.”

And he said, “A new purse it shall be.”

When i asked, “what about the orgasm?” his response was, “I’m undecided about that. I asked what gifts you’d like to receive, and your orgasm is definitely a gift I could give, but then again… what month still remains on the calendar?”

At first i wasn’t sure if that was a rhetorical question or not but something told me i was supposed to respond, so i said, “November Sir.”

And his only word in response was, “E-X-A-C-T-L-Y.”

And that was the end of that discussion.

That will be the last we will discuss that. i am certain. And that’s ok. The gift of orgasm is indeed his to give, and i will wait until it is allowed. While it has now been TWO WEEKS since my last O, i accept it isn’t up to me when the next one happens.

i won’t lie, because it’s officially still NO-orgasm-vember, i kinda do NOT want David to allow it. But on the flip side, it IS my birthday and i only turn 50 ONCE, so i really DO want it! (And did i already mention….it’s already been TWO-WHOLE-WEEKS since my last O. And i don’t remember the last time i went this long……. Like ever! And still almost another week…. Geez!)

If you think about it, your sexual pleasure and happiness truly IS a gift from your partner, and isn’t something you should feel entitled to. Always. In all sexual relationships, including vanilla ones.

But of course in most relationships, if you don’t get it from your partner, you seek it elsewhere…. By your own masturbating hand OR another partner OR both., because you feel entitled to it.

Admittedly, sometimes i can be the same way. But most of the time, i do indeed see it as a GIFT. (And after more than two weeks, it will be a BIG gift when i get to feel that pleasure again!)

What would YOU do if you were my Sir? Would you allow me to orgasm on my 50th or no??!!?

i thought of what i think is the perfect compromise…. (And i already told Sir about this, to which he laughed.. cuz he knows me THAT well!)

i suggested he make me wear Glory. And he makes me suck him hard. After which, he uses my ass hole to his pleasure. (There’s a big hole through the belt that allows him/me/anyone all access to that hole).

i suggested he fuck me hard and fast with that back hole, while i am on all 4’s. Neither of us touch my clit or pussy as it would be all locked up nice and tight!

But….

If i can orgasm without being touched AND while being locked in chastity then i can do so. Otherwise, no!

As i said before… he laughed. He knows i’d orgasm. Easily. Especially now when i am SO much in heat and need it!

He then said, “nice try!”

He then said, “by the time I allow you to orgasm, you could likely cum on my command without touching you anywhere at all!”

He THEN added, “you do realize we didn’t start this No-orgasm-vember on the first? You do realize I could chose to extend this into December in order to get the full 30-days I feel I am entitled to receive?” (There’s that word “entitled” again! But in this case, i think he IS entitled to use the word and to feel the emotion. i willingly submit to him, making things like my O fall under his purview!)

All this makes me think NO, i will NOT be orgasming on Thanksgiving…… aka, my 50th birthday!

And maybe not for awhile into December too!

So i’ll ask it again… if YOU held the gift of my orgasm in the palm of your hand, would you give it to me on:

A) Nov 25, my 50th birthday

B) Nov30, end of No-vember

C) Dec 6th, officially 30-days from the last O, OR

D) some other date at your discretion, to keep me guessing

???

Hugs,

Marie

213 – Glory saved me from myself.

Night five in chastity started withOUT chastity. Are you surprised?

As you know now, i have named my belt. It feels more personal than just saying, “chastity belt.” She is named Glory. (Maybe i will go into more detail on another post about how that name came up to me, but also why i feel it is really perfect too! But not now…. Today is about Day 5 of continuous chastity, day 10 of NO-orgasm, NO-vember. (No orgasm didn’t start until Nov 6th, which begs the question if this orgasm denial will end on Dec 1… or be extended to Dec 6… to say it was a “full month” of denial…. More on that as the month unfolds!)

David and i were heading toward the bedtime hour by doing the usual evening routine activities, including brushing teeth, face, etc

David sleeps in lounge PJ shorts … because he can. i sleep nude… because i should. His body is his and my body is his. i am his to see, touch, or play with anytime he wants, so i am made available to him. Usually this works well, but in times of intentional orgasm denial, not so much.

THIS is the longest i have EVER been denied. i do not EVER remember going this long without an orgasm in much of my adult life! i have always had a sexual appetite and whether David has touched me or i touched me, i am touched a LOT.

In fact…..

i am a sex addict! And i think that is a GOOD thing. Wanting to flirt, have sex, or please my Sir is a GOOD thing….. (wait…i realize i am about to go down a squirrel trail and this could be an excellent start for another post, so i will stop here and get back on track!)

So… i am USUALLY touched a lot. But as you are well aware now… i am in the middle of NO-vember…. Meaning, NO orgasms in this month at ALL for me by my touch, David’s touch, or ANYONE else for that matter!

This is way harder than i thought it would be! But i am determined to do it. i won’t fail…. i just CAN’T. If i do fail, i will sorely be disappointed in myself, and i don’t even really want to think about what David will think or what he would do for punishment too! His disappointment would be too overwhelming for me! i would be depressed and beyond sad if i fail. So this challenge is good for me!

As i climbed into our bed, David said, “I see boobs!”

He always sees them at night, but by the fact he commented on them told me he was particularly attracted to them at that moment. (Or maybe he wasn’t, but used it as an opportunity to test me! Just because MY orgasms are denied, doesn’t mean his are in any way, form, fashion deterred!)

So i leaned in close, where his mouth immediately covered up my entire nipple and sucked on it. He grabbed my other one with his hand and rubbed it hard too.

And almost as quickly as it started, it stopped. He let go, laid his head on the pillow, and said, “let’s see if you can go tonight without chastity. You need to be able to do this on your own sometimes too.”

In all honesty, i was grateful he thought i didn’t need it as i had NO desire to sleep with Glory! At ALL! i had already been wrestling with it in my mind all evening long about how i did NOT want her hugging on me and i did NOT want to feel her hard steel against me. i was craving the soft touch of the sheets and to just feel a kinder, gentler love. i just needed a night’s break.

So i was relieved with his words! i smiled and said to David, “Yes! i was thinking that i didn’t need Glory too Sir. This will be good.”

And it was. For awhile.

We read, got sleepy, and then we turned out the lights and fell asleep quickly. i was happy and feeling loved.

Until i wasn’t.

i woke up at 2:30a. W-I-D-E awake. Laying on my back, with complete awareness of how the sheets were touching my pussy. i felt how good it felt when i just moved a millimeter in any direction, and the sheets rubbed against me in the softest way.

i told myself to ignore all that and go back to sleep. i tried. i tossed and turned, fluffed the pillow, switched up my positioning and the covers. It wasn’t working.

i decided to turn. onto my side and put a pillow between my legs to (kinda) limit access (but also the chiropractor says this is good to keep your back aligned too). But that pillow! Oh my! It felt SO good on my clit! Once again after trying to find sleep and failing, i found myself starting to arch my back and my pelvis…. humping the pillow.

i stopped, removed the pillow, and moved back to my back. i let my legs flop open and pulled the sheets outward, so it was taut and tucked it under my legs so that just my knees were touching it. It effectively made a tent over my lower half.

And then i started thinking about sex… and was having (awake-fantasy-dreams) about different sexual positions, activities, toys, and people touching me. i tried to distract myself saying, “Think of other things!”

Think about things like… uhm… thanksgiving …and … my birthday. Around the corner. And what we will be doing…. Which lead to thoughts of, “yeah you know what you’ll be doing… and what you will NOT be doing. You won’t be coming!”

THAT is when i reached down and touched my clit. i rubbed it. My cunt was sloppy slick in a matter of 5-seconds flat. i felt it dripping out of me. And i knew i HAD to stop.

I DID NOT ORGASM. I STOPPED. I ONLY JUST EDGED.

My mind continued on, “You won’t have an orgy like you wrote about before over a year ago. You won’t have all these hands and cocks and even other pussies all around you getting happy using your holes.”

AND THAT IS WHEN I TOUCHED MYSELF AGAIN. i said, “a little more edging is good for me. i didn’t get to THE edge (of orgasm) before. So getting to theedge is good for me. i won’t go over the edge. i can stop!!…..”

AND I DID. STOP. I DID NOT ORGASM. BUT I ALMOST DID. i SO did NOT want to stop. But i (thankfully!) did.

And my mind continued… “only if you are lucky will Sir even allow your pussy to be touched and orgasm because of course…. You poor, poor little girl… your birthday is in the month of NO-vember. Do you think that your Sir should relent and allow you to cum JUST because it is your birthday?”

AND I DID IT AGAIN. I TOUCHED THAT NEEDY PUSSY. AND AGAIN….I DID NOT ORGASM.

And …. My mind Continued….. “What’s a needy little cunt to do when it can’t be touched all the way to pleasure whenever it wants to? Will you be a brat and pout or accept this denial like the good submissive girl you are… even on your birthday?? And won’t you be THANKFUl for it too? Won’t you realize and appreciate how much you are loved?”

THE ENTIRE TIME, MY FINGER SWIRLED MY CLIT. PLAYED WITH MY OPENING. PRESSED A FINGER INSIDE AND PULLED OUT AGAIN.

ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH!

I HAVE TO STOP. I CAN-NOT-CUM. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BECAUSE THIS IS NOT ALLOWED!

i then heard my rational brain kick in and i said, “GET UP. GO GET GLORY. YOU NEED HELP!“

Then i even tried to argue with myself, “but if i have the key, how will that be effective? i can pull her into place, but what’s the point knowing i can use the key (since Sir is asleep and i can’t give him the key for safekeeping.)” That’s when it came to me. i knew the solution.

i went to the closet, laid down on the floor, and strapped myself in her. i am getting to be so close with my chastity belt, i can quite literally strap myself in without lights and only using my touch! (Strapping in is a matter of: straddle the three parts – belt around each hip and metal between my legs; attach one side of the belt to the middle metal part that goes through my legs; hold it in place while strapping on the other side of the belt; put the metal heart-covering through the TWO holes on the front that hold it and the three straps in their place; hold all of this in place to attach the lock over top; twist it to fit securely and lock it closed. And hand over the keys. Quite a bit to do in the dark without eyes, but rather only hands. But i did it, pretty swiftly too actually! i admit, i even surprised myself!)

i grabbed up the keys, went into our bedroom, and on the dresser is a glass bowl that i keep all my jewelry. i softly placed the key in the bowl in order to limit the “clank” sound that was inevitable. i KNEW as it mixed in with the other metal jewels, i’d not be able to lay my hands on it too easily if i wanted to in the dark. So this limited my ability to easily retrieve it back up again. i also knew if i did try, it would make a LOT of noise and probably wake Sir in the process, where i’d have been asked, “what are you doing?” NOT a question i’d want to have to answer at all. Besides, i sorely needed SLEEP!

So i got back in bed. On my back. Legs spread wide. Without ANY access.

ACCESS DENIED!

AND I WAS HAPPY ABOUT IT!

The rational brain told myself, “There! THIS is what you need! You want to succeed at NO-vember and you have the tools to do it. Use your tools wisely. Work smarter, not harder. Now go to sleep!”

And i did.

While i am unsure how Sir will respond this morning to my obvious weaknesses and clear need for Glory to be wrapped around my sex, i succeeded in thinking rationally, getting much needed sleep, AND NO-orgasm-vember. While not exactly what Sir (or i) had in mind at the time we first closed our eyes, i DID succeed in NO orgasms! i am still on the track i should be!

i suspect the rest of the month… i will have night after night of being locked from start to finish with Glory in her rightful place and i am OK with that. In fact, i think i need it. i just hope i don’t have to try (and probably fail!) anymore alone. Glory really does have my best interest at heart! So why not just let her do her job?!

(But here’s to hoping these sexual cravings subside too!)

Hugs,

Marie