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Tag: authority

201 – Who’s in Control Anyway?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Marriage, Submission. No Comments on 201 – Who’s in Control Anyway?

Does a submissive give up control? Does a Dom take control? Is the submissive still in control? Does a Dom really have control over anything at all?

These are a few questions i find myself thinking about this morning.

Ultimately i don’t think the CONTROL belongs to anyone… except of course, to yourself. Meaning, i need to control me and he needs to control him. Controlling the other should not a prize to be won or an award to be given, nor is it the ultimate goal.

David is quite stressed out right now. And i am not. This is the scenario that gets me into the most trouble because i have more time to be thinking about how to be the best submissive i can be. You might think that’s a good thing, and frequently it can be. Until it’s not.

When i think too much about being the best submissive, i tend to (basically) become obsessed with it which means i look to David for direction in my quest for “more”. Which is a recipe for disaster really, because it’s then that when i do not receive the feedback (attention!) i am seeking that i do not respond with my best-submissive-self. So it is self destructive behaviors and leads to problems. In addition, when i am in this mood if seeking this feedback (reassurances) i become needy. Needy of a strong dominant. And i can see why he thinks i am wanting him to “control” me.

Of course, remember, i already said he’s been stressed out. Work has been hectic for him and due to circumstances beyond his control (ie other’s procrastination!) he finds himself up against deadlines that are quite possibly too tight to meet., but he has to try.

So instead of being the best-submissive …. Who leaves my Sir alone and tries to make myself less of a burden to him….. i don’t. When i become obsessed with being the best of the best, i become needy to seek out the reassurances and direction from him that i am doing good.

Reassurances that he has ZERO time for.

So yesterday i got onto his very last nerve and i heard him say, “I don’t have time to control you! If that’s what you need, go find another Dom!”

Now … don’t misunderstand…. he wasn’t telling me he wanted to get divorced, or to go away, or to be unfaithful, or anything permanent.

He was genuinely meaning, “TODAY I don’t have time, I am stressed out, and if you really want or need reassurances then (maybe) find the second Dom that we’ve been talking about. Because today it is just too much for me, and a second Dom could prove useful right now for both of us.”

So knowing his intentions behind the second sentence were not bad, and actually could be a good thing/helpful was ultimately fine for me. But the first sentence is what bothered me…….

“I don’t have time to control you!”

What went through my head were thoughts like this….

– Does he really think i want him to control me??

– Doesn’t he see that all he has to do is control himself and i will follow?

– He doesn’t control my decision to follow, nor will he ever, so don’t i ultimately have the control?

– How can i follow someone who is just busy trying to figure out how to control me? Isn’t that circular referencing?

Well…. The time to get answers to ANY of those questions was NOT yesterday in that moment. (Likely not today either!). Had i continued on, it would have lead to an argument, at best. i could also tell that while the best thing for me having stirred up the pot so much would have been to have received a discipline of some sort, it was NOT going to go down that way….

Had i received the discipline i so clearly deserved, it would have been: a) feeding into my sub-frenzy, b) distracting for David, who desperately needed to focus on the work he is doing, c) been more of ME in control (aka: Topping from the Bottom) and i don’t control him anymore than he controls me! Yet, i sure was trying to “control” him right into disciplining me!

Had i been in control, which obviously i am not, i would’ve made me go stand in the corner until further notice. It would’ve given me (as David) the opportunity to get the work done without being bugged by me (his sub). It also would’ve given me (the sub) the ability to reflect on how much i was NOT being a sub when i was busy causing unnecessary distractions.

Then when I (as David) took a break, because eventually I would, I would’ve told me (as Submissive) to assume the position. And I (as David) would’ve delivered a spanking that went something like this…..

“You will count and thank me for every single swat of this paddle. I had NO time for your shenanigans today, so I am taking a break to teach you a lesson while also relieving my stress on your ass. Do NOT EVER push me to this place again when you KNOW I am stressed to meet this work deadline.”

Smack! (oh wow. This hurt from the very second he started!)

“One Sir. Thank you Sir.”

“Trying to push me into dominating you at a time that is convenient for you isn’t how a good sub should be. Stop Topping from the Bottom!”

Smack! “Two Sir. Thank you Sir.”

“Telling me how to dominate isn’t being submissive at all. I will not tolerate you trying to act like you are ‘letting me know how needy’ you are. That is completely unnecessary.”

Smack! “Three Sir. Thank you Sir.”

And it would’ve continued from there until i (as sub) was seemingly acting sufficiently remorseful.

But that’s not how it went. And in the end, it probably went better than my version. What actually happened was i apologized for my behavior, for trying to push David into something he didn’t want to be bothered with, and we (more or less) went about our separate business for the day.

i tried very hard to be “ok” with what felt to me like i was being ignored and to not even let on to him what all was really going on in my head. i think it – mostly – worked.

i say that it worked because we didn’t get into a fight, i didn’t get my way, and David was able to get done a lot of what was needed. No, he’s not met the (likely impossible!) deadline, but he was able to get done as much as he could without distractions too.

In the end, i don’t want him to control me…. i need to control me. And i need to be reminded (by him and/or myself) not to try to control him and let him control him. When we each just control ourselves, especially within the framework of our DD relationship, it works.

i don’t know if i will be punished or not… not sure it matters… in some ways by not getting my way, i learned my lesson. i just hope it sticks.

Hugs,

Marie

199 – Variations on “Defer to his authority”

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 199 – Variations on “Defer to his authority”

i have written wrote about “the rules” before and i am working on another such post. Our rules are set. Unchanging. And so,etc,es there there are impromptu or for-today or because-i-can rules set into motion too.

Ultimately these would fall under the general category of “deferral.” The fact he has ultimate authority and decision-making power means that he can set into motion any new rule he wants to. And my job is to defer to him and his authority. Now mind you, i trust he won’t set anything in motion that i would ultimately take disagreement to anyway… but he ever did, I know i can talk reason into him too.

Today he decided I needed to wear an anal plug to work. For no reason really.

Maybe the “reason” is to serve as a reminder that he’s in charge. Or maybe as a tangible and constant FEELING of his authority. Or maybe just to see if i’d obey, which i will. Or maybe he wants me to think of him allllll day.

Or maybe he intends to use that hole for his personal pleasure and is getting it ready today. Or maybe to get me sexually charged up with NO ability to do anything about it (i am headed to work after all!)

Or maybe to mess with my mind and make me wonder about all these things and it’s nothing at all.

Not only did he decide an anal plug would escort me to work today, but he was to be the one to put it in its place too. He said, “get a plug, get it ready (with lube), and get into position.”

This position means to bend over, spread my legs, and hold my ass cheeks apart.

He came and said, “what a pretty sight to see my little girl.” And with that, he picked up the plug and i felt the tip press against my opening.

i held my breath as he pressed it inside. I always know the EXACT moment it pushes past the sphincter muscle as the pressure immediately subsides.

Even though i knew it was in, i also knew not to move just yet. He pressed it deep and played with the plug just a moment saying, “it won’t go any further in unless I press it in. Do you like that feeling?“

Now, i wouldn’t say i liked the feeling, but i did like that he liked it! So by a roundabout, i did indeed like it. i told him this too. And he slapped my ass in a hard, but good-fun way, and said, “ok, free to go to work now.”

As i let go of my ass cheeks and stood up, i felt the plug position itself between my legs and deeply in my ass. He always has me wear a thong on plug days so it holds it in as far as possible too. In fact, the thong is really about 1-2 sizes too small, which makes the string part ride up between my ass cheeks further, so it serves its purpose even better.

As always, i said, “thank you Sir.” And i kissed him.

So now i am off to work. i have no doubt he will ask me a couple of times today how it is feeling, and of course, as the day goes on it will become increasingly less pleasurable. But the fact that he wants it there and i am his submissive and intend to do as i am told…. It will be in its place a very LONG time today.

Have an amazing day my friends!

Hugs,

Marie

197 – Zip to the conclusion

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 197 – Zip to the conclusion

** this is a continuation of a previous post. You should probably read it first…. zipper-fun-and-games

“Game on!” is how i responded too!

We had an amazing dinner and by the time we left the restaurant, even K thought he was married to me! My acting was superb! And i won’t lie, J did a convincing job with David too.

OF course, we were both looking for any opportunity to have the other’s jeans unzipped too. My zippers were “almost” fully intact…. But they were indeed a bit down in front AND back.

As dinner went on, J implied i was over doing my story and told K to unzip a zipper. It was after i was hanging on K’s arm and my hand slid down his leg and back up again. She said my act would have been appropriate for a younger version of us if or when we were still dating, but not at our age and term of marriage.

Of course, i think K was enjoying himself as i could feel his cock swell to my touch but he didn’t resist the order to lower my zipper either.

That was the first zipper move, the second happened was over dessert. J caught me winking at David after i drank those 2 glasses of wine. i always get amorous when i get tipsy, and that’s where i was when J said, “uhm… wrong husband. K, please lower Marie’s zipper once more!” And he did.

The last zipper move happened as i was carried away telling a story about work, where i was complaining about a client. David was the one then to say the zipper needed to come down more as he said, “we are all here to escape reality, not relive it.”

When dinner was done, i won’t lie i was a bit nervous to stand up for fear of whether or not my pants would stay up! Of course, i was very much somewhere between tipsy and drunk so i trudged forward and stood confidently!

My pants didn’t fall off as i stood up, thankfully! But they were definitely loose for sure. With that, i announced i had to use the bathroom before we left. David told J to go with me, and make sure when i came out my pants’ zippers were still in the same place as they were at that moment going in. i rolled my eyes and said, “Fine.”

And David said, “J, on second thought, be sure to lower a zipper just a bit further. Marie, that’s your own doing for that eye roll.”

After J escorted me to the bathroom and back, we started down toward the waterway to walk a bit and end up at the park. K & i walked in front of David & J, when i heard J say, “Marie, those pants are pretty loose there!”

And everyone laughed. Except me. Instead, i asked David, “Sir, are her comments in line with what you’d expect of your submissive wife?”

He said, “Marie. I agree. I’m not sure that those comments were very submissive for sure! Should I lower her zipper?”

“i thought you’d never ask Sir! Yes, please do!” And he did. i heard J utter “fuck!” Under her breathe to which K said, “oh now, J, that wasn’t necessary either. David, lower her zipper again.”

She was the first to break about all this. She stopped walking and spit out the words, “what the fuck? I can’t walk around in public this way with my ass hanging half out! This is ridiculous now.”

i put my arms around her neck and said, “J, relax. This is all good. You ought to just flow with it. Your husband -nor K or i- won’t allow anything bad to happen. Trust me on that one!”

And we embraced in a hug. After we both relaxed there for just a minute, we released one another and resumed our walk. We all just walked together in a comfortable silence then until we reached the park.

By the time we sat down on the bench, both of mine and J’s pants were truly hanging and near falling off from the walking motions and gravity. We were both pretty grateful for the night sky and the shadows falling all around us. It gave us the natural dark shadows we both needed at that time. Of course, our husbands didn’t get too far from us though either, so that helped too.

The bench was big enough for all four of us to sit and talk. The men were on the outside with us girls on the inside. And the night air was cool and fresh, giving us reason to snuggle in tight too.

As we did, i felt a hand slide down my pants and touch my clit. Of course, it wasn’t hard to do when my pants were hanging so low. i gasped as i felt it. i looked at David with almost panic in my eyes. i mean we We were in public and i was being fondled David said, “Marie. Let it happen. This is good. Do you understand me?”

“Yes Sir. i will.” And he was right, it did feel good! But of course, like J a few minutes before, i was keenly aware we were in public view too!

And that’s when i heard K laugh and say, “Your clit feels so wet and slick.” And that’s when his fingers slid right inside me as he then added, “and your folds are so engulfing. They just swallowed up my fingers. I think you like this.”

i responded by saying, “i don’t like it…. i love it! Thank you Sir.” (Ok, i wasn’t as concerned about being in public as J was … i was just trying to “let it happen” as my real-life husband had instructed. Plus the previous wine helped too.)

i turned my head toward J & David, where J was looking at me. At that moment, she leaned in and kissed me deeply. i was so overwhelmed with all this but in such an incredibly good way too. (Like i said, just let it happen… and wine helping a lot too!).

It was then that i saw David’s hand unzip J’s front so far down that she was exposed for all to see. Of course, no one walking by had any idea she was sitting on the bench with no panties on and on display because it was just that dark.

She stopped kissing me and said, “NO!” And grabbed at her pant zipper.

Before she could pull David’s hand away, i laid my hand over hers holding her hand frozen in place and said, “do you mean no? We don’t use no, but rather red, yellow, and green.”

After i explained further, i asked her, “As David’s wife tonight, look at him and tell him what color you are really feeling right now!”

She turned to David and said, “Yellow Sir.”

And he said, “That’s a good girl. We will let you sit right here like this for a bit to get more comfortable.”

All the while, K’s hand never stopped moving in my pants. i asked him, “what color do you think i am at Sir?”

He laughed and said, “oh you are so green, you are green to the highest power!”

i don’t remember who, but someone suggested we move from the bench. J & i both agreed we were only moving after the zippers came back to a more covering appropriate position. And so it was.

As we walked back toward our cars, we discovered we were parked side by side. K must have been the first to realize our cars were completely cast in shadows, to which K asked David if he could say good night by unzipping my zippers all the way in two halves while standing between the cars.

David responded with, “only if I get to reply in kind with J.” And that’s how i found myself standing in public completely exposed from front to back. To keep my pants from falling away, i grabbed each half in each hand and held on.

It was then that someone walked by and as K saw them looking our way, he pushed me against the car and started kissing me. i couldn’t tell if that was a rouse or intentional, but that’s when he pulled his cock out of his pants, spread my legs, and fucked me right there been the cars.

It all happened so fast that all i could do was hang on to my pants and enjoy the moment. He moved so fast and furious. It was raw sex with one goal in mind: cum as fast as possible!

In no time, he orgasmed inside me. i thanked him the same as i always do with David. Yes, i thank David after sex for the gift… of attention, love, affection, and orgasm. But also for using me in a way that is pleasing to him. i like to be his service submissive!

With that, K opened my door and i sat down with my pants still in two halves. And we said good bye to our friends.

i waited for David to come to the driver side and get in the car. When he got in he asked, “Have fun tonight, WIFE?”

“Yes Sir, i did. But i have a question… was all this planned out beforehand? Like all the way to this very end?”

He lifted my hand, kissed it, and smiled. He said, “What do you think?”

i thought for a minute and said, “it probably doesn’t really matter. i know who I belong to, who i ultimately submit to, who i go home with, and i had fun.”

With that, he dropped my hand, stuck a finger deep inside my pussy that of course was still on display, and said, “Let’s go home then.”

Hugs,

Marie

196 – Zipper fun and games.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 196 – Zipper fun and games.

We went out with some of our besties, another couple, that we haven’t seen in awhile, on Saturday night. We had so much fun. It was intended to be just some fun getting together for dinner and talk. Unbeknownst to each of us girls, before we even left our respective houses our men had amped it up a (sexy) notch….

i was standing in the closet naked staring at my wardrobe, trying to decide what to wear, and becoming more and more anxious about this decision when David came in asked, “What are you going to wear tonight?”

i responded with, “Not entirely sure yet.”

He then handed me a bag and said, “I’d like you to wear these.”

i had NO idea what was in the bag, but i shrugged and thought, “Oh yeah… a surprise… AND decision made!”

i smiled, gave him a kiss on the cheek and said, “Thank You Sir!” He smiled back, turned and left as i opened the store bag to see what it held.

There were a new pair of jeans inside. Oh yah! i love being comfortable in jeans. Perfect!

i pulled them out to discover they had a zipper all the way around from the top of the front to the top of the back. i could quite literally unzip them into two halves if i wanted to. Oh what FUN these could be! My mind went to a sexy dark place, but i knew to “keep it clean now!” because tonight’s dinner was just about catching up with old friends without kids!

i quickly slid them on and they fit perfectly! Now just to find a shirt that showed off these sexy jeans. i decided on a (probably tooooo) low cut shirt and some heels to complete the outfit. i looked and felt sexy! Perfect!

After David dressed too, we were off. In the car he reached over and grabbed my hand, looked at me and smiled. He complimented me several times saying things like, “you are looking stunning tonight my love. I love you so much baby girl!”

While i’d like to say that was normal (being complimented on a whim without asking/fishing for it), it’s not. Especially when i heard the terms of endearment, i couldn’t help but think there was more to tonight’s dinner than i realized. So in an effort to sleuth for more information, i asked, “what was that for?”

David smiled and said, “all in due time. Just remember that you are always my submissive wife.”

i knew what he meant by that. You probably do too by now!

He may as well have said, “I will never cause you to be in harms way, nor will I allow things to go too far and you will never be in danger of any kind – including being arrested, going to a hospital, or any other similar extreme situation. Just trust me and do as I say.”

So, i smiled and thanked him. i instantly felt half anxious and half excited, but definitely on alert now, about the evening’s events!

We arrived to the restaurant first and David asked for a booth for the four of us. When we went to sit down, he sat across from me which was strange but i didn’t question it either.

Then our friends arrived and her husband sat down next to me and had her sit next to David. i could tell she wasn’t sure what to make of this either, so clearly K had not told her anymore than David had told me but she sat down next to David nonetheless.

When K sat next to me, he smiled and said, “hey sexy!” and he leaned in to kiss me as if he was my spouse instead of David. While all four of us have flirted back and forth with one another, we had never done anything beyond that. So this was totally unexpected. i even pulled back as i wasn’t sure what to make of this, and that was enough to cause him to laugh out loud.

That’s when i saw David’s hand move onto J’s leg thigh and he said to her, “Hey sexy! How are you?” i could tell my friend J was as completely in the dark about this as i was. She looked at me and i gave her a “i don’t know either!” Kind of look.

While his hand never moved from J’s leg, David spoke up and said, “K & I talked beforehand. We decided it’s time the four of us stop teasing and start doing. How much we do tonight, or even who does what exactly, will depend on you two.”

Continuing on David said, “In case you didn’t notice, you both have on matching jeans tonight. They have a full zipper from front to back. If we wanted to, we could take them all the way in two and have full access to anything and everything just that easily.”

“Tonight we will swap husbands. You should act and convince everyone around us in this restaurant or otherwise that the spouse you are sitting next to is your own. The more convincing you are, the more your zipper stays zipped. The less convincing… well… it comes down. But of course, you shouldn’t overdo your act either as ..well… that’s not convincing either.”

“Oh and the person deciding whether you are convincing enough.. or maybe even TOO much will be you. J will decide about Marie and Marie will decide about J. You will need to speak up and say something like, ‘not good enough,’ at which time I will decide how far to unzip J’s jeans and K will do the same for Marie,” David said as he smiled big.

He finished with, “After dinner, K & I decided we will all go walking along the water way area and we will end up at the park where we can sit on the benches while people watching and chatting. Let’s all hope it’s not the other way around where other people are watching us because you two haven’t been convincing enough about your spouse-for-tonight. You wouldn’t want to have your pants half way down to your knees because you failed to act properly, would you?!”

And he ended his little speech with, “Any questions about our little game tonight?”

i could tell by the look on J’s face she was as surprised at this as i was. She was one of my best friends and i couldn’t imagine telling her she wasn’t doing good enough at acting like David was her spouse, to the point i told David to unzip her pants in public. And judging by the look on her face i was pretty sure she was thinking the same too.

K must have read my mind as he turned and saw the same look on J’s face as i saw. He looked at her and said, “J, I can tell you aren’t too sure you can do this. I should tell you that David & I are prepared to also unzip either of your pants if we think you are holding back. In fact, David, my wife is overthinking this right now. So unzip an inch on her front zipper please.”

We all looked at David where he said, “Thought you’d never ask. Happy to do so!”

And with that, since his hand was already still on her thigh from before, i saw his arm move to wear his elbow was up in the air near her chest, where he pressed into her just a slight bit to cause her back to touch against the booth backing, and i assumed her pants were slightly undone.

She then looked at me and said, “ok. Fine. Game on!”

And we all laughed…. Game on indeed!

TO BE CONTINUED……

194 – a longgggg week ahead

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 194 – a longgggg week ahead

In my last post, i told you about my latest discipline……. You can read about it here

Suffice it to say….It is going to be a longgggg week.

i didn’t do too well.

My task was to wear a plug until David i was home and whenever wanted to take it out.

Well, i had good intentions. But i didn’t accomplish the goal either.

i was at work and heading into a meeting when i had to use the bathroom. And it was uncomfortable already, so i just decided to take it out.

The meeting was going to be so much easier without it…. And it was.

When i got home, David walked by me and immediately put his hand to my bottom and said “is it still in?”

Because of course, not only did it come out long before it should have — but i didn’t even ask permission— or even just tell him!

i didn’t have to answer his question. As soon as his hand reached the bottom of my ass, he knew. He commented, “uh… no. No it is NOT still in. And when exactly did it come out??”

i said, “mid morning.”

He said, “you seem stubborn today and refusing to learn anything today. Go to the room and assume the position now.”

“Yes Sir” (i am SO submissive in his presence… but clearly NOT so much when left to my own devices)

The “position” he was referring to is being naked, feet on the floor, bent over at the waist where my upper half is on the bed, and my rear is completely exposed and available for being spanked at his will.

i went to our room and proceeded to get into position, to presumably receive a spanking.

When he came in instead of picking up the paddle, he said, “use your hands to spread your ass cheeks. I’m going to fuck your ass, just the way I said I would. And you are going to make yourself available to me now.”

He was clearly ready and already hard as a rock because it was just a few seconds after I spread my cheeks that I felt the tip of his cock start to press into me.

He didn’t waste anytime in pressing deeper and deeper until his whole cock was seated firmly inside me. He did pause to give me a second to adjust, thankfully. He said, “I’m going to ride you hard so I can get off quickly. I have absolutely no intention of allowing you to cum. This is for my pleasure, not yours. It could have been yours too, don’t forget this is your own doing. Now don’t let go of your ass cheeks for any reason!”

And with that, he placed a hand on each of my hips to give himself leverage and started to pull back to the point he almost came out entirely, he paused, and then slammed in deep. As he got all the way in, he muttered, “hmm, you feel SO good around my cock.”

And he did it again. And again.

He started going faster and faster. In and out with such vigor and intention. He wasn’t lying when he said he was going to ride me hard.

i won’t lie, he felt good in my ass too. i was remorseful to the fact he would have been licking or inside my pussy, where i’d likely be on my back facing him, so as to smile and kiss upon my face too. But……alas, that’s not to be for today.

He continued to press in and out, going faster and faster, just as he promised. My ass will definitely be sore tomorrow!

At one point I lost my grip on my ass because he was pressing in and out so quickly that my hand slipped. He didn’t slow down. But instead, i heard him say, “get your hands back in place!” And he went faster yet. i heard grunted sentences under his breathe that were things like, “your ass feels amazing. I’ve needed this release.”

And finally, “give it to me baby. I’m going to fill your ass with my seed.”

And finally, only a few total minutes in really, he slammed deep inside and held himself there. I could feel his cock throbbing, knowing it was indeed filling my ass with his cum.

Almost immediately he pulled out and said, “don’t move,” while i heard footsteps. He was moving into the bathroom, presumably to clean up.

When he came back, he said, “get fully onto the bed and turn over onto your back.”

After i did, he handed me a tweezers and said, “you can come out of the room when all the hair is gone.”

As he turned to leave, i muttered something like, “what? You want me to pull out my pussy hairs with a tweezer?”

He heard me and turned around and said, “I bet next time you’ll be more appreciative of the razor when you are in the shower. But this way, you shouldn’t need a razor for several days to come too!”

Almost as a last minute thought, he added , “oh, and remember, I said no orgasms for you equal to one day for the number of hours that the plug came out early. It’s gonna be a long week for YOU!”

And he smiled mischievously at me, turned and walked out as I stared at my puss with a tweezer in my hand.

Needless to say, I have no more hair now…. (Ouch!)

Hugs,

Marie