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247 – Doing nothing is helping.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 247 – Doing nothing is helping.

For 2 1/2 years now, no one in my house has had to suffer through Covid. Being able to say that changed 5-days ago. Today is Wednesday and this past Saturday evening, David turned up positive for Covid.

We don’t actually go out all that much overall really. i go to work, where my office is big and spacious. i don’t share an immediate office space with anyone, so i have my own 4-walls there. And while i interact with others at work, it’s usually across the table or room, and not even that much overall. David works from home. And after work, i come home and we sometimes (1 or maybe 2 times a week) go out to dinner. And our son… well… he’s a teen. So he holes up in his room most of the time and we have to “highly encourage” him to be coaxed out of his bed and interact with us. Ha.

We are all vaccinated and have been reasonably careful, at least as much as the next person, too. David does go to the grocery store nearly daily and gets what we need for that day, but isn’t there too long either. Honestly, this routine hasn’t changed much pre-Covid or post-Covid. And i’d say this is what allowed us to be Covid-free for this long.

We aren’t sure where David got it exactly. But on Saturday (5-days ago now), David got very congested and started coughing, and by bedtime had a fever with chills and sweats. He took a home test, and sure enough, positive.

[i do recommend the meds the docs have now, as he got that on Mon and it’s really helped propel him forward and lessened the severity of this all. So if you get it, call the doc pretty soon after and get the help!]

He’s quarantined in our guest room, and i haven’t seen him much at all. He comes to the living room/kitchen mostly when i am not around to make sure i (nor our son) get (too) exposed. Thankfully, so far anyway, it seems our son and i have escaped it! Pray to God that stays that way too!

Needless to say though, i have felt distant and removed from David this week. It’s been hard because he is just right there and yet so far away, all the same.

When my Sir has been sick with other illnesses, i took good care of him. But this illness is one where my only directive has been to cook enough food to include him (and he then makes his own plate from there and eats alone), but otherwise, just stay away. Which of course, is the best way to have this go too, but it’s still quite hard to do.

My natural submissive instinct is to help, not to stay away. Staying away feels raw and cold and selfish. But we all know it’s not.

Thankfully, David has not been too sick overall. That’s probably a result of the vaccine fighting it off and the meds now too, at least that’s my guess. (Got to believe we didn’t take those shots for not!). Making it easier for David to take care of himself, for the most part anyway. But standing by, just one room over, unable to do anything at all makes me feel helpless.

And i don’t like that feeling at all!

i’d say one of the hardest things to do as a submissive, is to follow an order to “do nothing! Stay away!” While my head knows it’s the right answer, in this situation or any other that i am ordered to do nothing, my heart breaks with a desire to help.

This is one of the biggest things i get myself into trouble with…. It feels like it goes against my grain. Like the old adage says, “well, it ain’t gonna fix itself! Get to it!” that doing something is the right answer. But sometimes the right answer or solution to the problem is to shut up, go away, and let it run its course, which is what i am doing.

i am unsure when i will be able to be around David again. In theory, it’s today as he’s been quarantined for 5-days but in reality, he’s still sick too. So i am unsure.

i guess i will be “standing by” for awhile still. 😕

Say a prayer for my Sir to get better, and for me to have patience and endurance to “do nothing” awhile longer too.

UPDATE: i didn’t get this posted yesterday as i fell victim to Covid myself. Now i, too, have Covid. ugh! Even before i had a positive test result, have hated this virus and what it has done to our world. It has forever changed us!

Not much D/s stuff happens when we are both sick. Luckily, David is feeling significantly better now as he got the anti-viral meds from our Doc and our son isn’t showing any signs of anything (yet. 🙏)….. but, here we are continuing to being separated in the same house. 😞

So now please pray for me … that i can get that same medicine David got, and recover in a few days time also!

Hugs,

Marie

246 – I deserve this, damn it! – Fiction

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 246 – I deserve this, damn it! – Fiction

Sir has had to work a lot lately. He’s had to work long hours, been away from the house and even out of town too. All of which has him stressed out because of it.

I’ve tried to leave him alone as best I can, but admittedly, I’m feeling neglected too. I know it’s not that he wants to ignore me, but he sort of has to in order to get his work done accurately and timely. This latest project is just consuming him to no end!

But I feel neglected. I need to be needed. I need to feel sexy. I am his submissive wife damn it and that has value too!

You just can’t ignore me all the time and expect me to be obedient like a dog that laps at your feet, just to be kicked away and discarded until you have time for me! I’m getting angry at you Sir!

I’m trying so hard to be a happy submissive wife and grateful for all you are and continue to be, but I’m failing. It’s getting too hard though too.

If you don’t want to love on me, I’ll just have to love on myself. Now I know I’m not supposed to be masturbating, let alone orgasming, without permission but damn it, you are NEVER home lately. HOW can I ask permission from you if you are too busy for me??

Screw it. I’m going to touch myself and love on me the way I damn well deserve! I don’t give a shit anymore!

With anger and determination in mind, I got naked and into our bed. Yes, OUR bed, alone, without you. And I’m going to fuck myself crazy and you can’t stop me!

I got my favorite rabbit vibrator out. I spread my legs wide. I looked down at my clean shaven pussy and I saw how needy it was. It hasn’t been touched in over a week, since you last let me masturbate while you were preparing to leave on this stupid latest work trip of yours. You didn’t have time to touch me last week either, and of course I was happy to have permission to do all the work then too but wtf a girl needs to be needed! And used! For YOUR pleasure. Whatever. It is what it is.

I’m a good wife. I DESERVE THIS!

I spread my fat pussy lips with my left finger tips, while my right hand pressed the tip of the vibrator inside me. I held it right there and let my muscles relax around the top of the vib. I wanted to feel every bit of this. I wanted to sink into the feelings and let them wash over me. I needed this. I know I deserved this!

And with that, I pressed the vibrator all the way inside me. I held it there for just a minute. With the cock inside me and the rabbit tip touching my clit, I pressed the button to turn the vib on low.

Oh fuck yeah! Oh fucking wow! What an amazing sensation I felt rise up inside me so immediately!

I slowly pulled it out, all the way to the tip, and then slammed it deep inside. I cringed at the immediacy of how full I felt. It was divine.

My pussy slicked up and allowed the vib to fully fill me. I held it deep inside me there, with the rabbit tip pressing hard on my clit causing it to swell up even more. I pulled my legs tight together and pressed in against my hand holding the vibrator.

I already wanted to orgasm so badly! I could feel it already building so quickly. I didn’t want to let myself orgasm this fast though either. I wanted to enjoy this so much longer. I felt it rising and I needed to decide what to do quickly or the decision would be made for me.

And that’s when I heard my Sir speak, “what the fuck are you doing?”

He was pissed. Oh Fuck ME!

I realized my eyes were closed enjoying my fantasy so upon hearing his voice, my eyes shot open. I pulled the vibrator from my pussy so fast and tried to hide it, and tried to process the situation I was in. But it was clearly too late! I was fucked behind fuck!

I said, “what are you doing here? You weren’t supposed to be home until tomorrow!”

I heard him say, “Seriously? THAT’s how you are going to play this? THAT is NOT how you speak to me. EVER!”

“But if you really must know, I finished the project early and wanted to surprise my GOOD SUBMISSIVE WIFE by coming home early.”

I just stayed silent.

His voice was rising in volume as he continued even more, “only instead of finding you doing good things, I walk to find you filling the pussy that we both know belongs to ME with that stupid vibrator that you did NOT have permission to use! You KNOW you have to ask!”

I continued to stay silent.

As if that wasn’t enough, the berating continued as he said, “You know I am generous to let you play with MY pussy most every time you ask, but I’ve paid good money, invested lots of time, and trained it to respond to MY touch. MINE! It is MINE! It is NOT yours. You gave up that right when you agreed to submit. So what the fuck were you thinking?!? I’ve trained you and MY PUSSY to be better than this!”

I was washed with shame. And regret. And remorse. He was so right. In every way. I was trained better than this. This pussy is his. And we both know it!

I may deserve to orgasm, but I know its never done like this! I acted selfish and stupidly. Why was I so stupid?

I scrambled off the bed and onto my knees beside his leg, I looked to the floor and said, “I’m sorry Sir. You are correct in all accounts.”

His demeanor softened a bit where he said, “what the hell am I going to do with you now? I was planning to come home and make love to you because I’ve been so missing you. I just knew you’ve been so patient and helpful as I worked through this project and these long days at work. Instead, I find you aren’t as patient or good as I had thought. Do you think you deserve my cock now??”

I was so filled with guilt, I began to cry. And I eked out the response I knew we both knew was the truth, “Not at all Sir. I’m very sorry.”

As calmly as he could have ever spoken, he said, “you know I have to punish you now, right?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Then go ahead, Assume the Position now.”

He proceeded to give me the most intense, yet incredibly necessary and unfortunately earned, spanking I’ve had in a very long time.

I was already crying before he started. The guilt and remorse had me in tears already but now I was sobbing uncontrollably. The pain of the paddle was blistering my ass. I knew i deserved it. I didn’t want it, but I took it!

It wasn’t long before I was begging him to stop. I spewed words like, “I promise to never disobey ever again.”

Of course, he called me out on that too, “now you are just lying. You know you’ll fuck up again at some point, you just want this to stop and are willing to say anything at all. I don’t approve of that type of behavior either.”

And he smacked my ass that much harder still. When he first started I cringed and flinched and moved. But at this moment, my ass was so torn up and my sobbing was so hard, I didn’t hardly move a muscle.

That’s when he said, “I’m going to deliver the last five and you’ll count them out and thank me and ask for the next one too!”

“Yes (sob) Sir (sob).”

Smack! “One Sir, Thank you Sir. May I please have another?”

Smack! “Two Sir, Thank you Sir…. May,.. I… (pause to catch my breath and to cry more too) please…. May I have another?”

Pause. Anticipation. Waiting. When will it come?

SMACK!

“Three Sir, Thank you Sir. This hurts so much Sir, but may I please …. Have… (cries) another?”

More pausing. He wants these last ones to be dramatic. I’m grateful he can’t see my face as I scrunch up my nose in anticipation.

“YES you may! You did this to yourself, and you know that right?”

“Yes Sir…. (Sob)… i know.”

He then said, “I have NO desire to come home and deliver spankings. Maybe next time you’ll do better!”

S-M-A-C-K! Ouch. That was so painful on my already ripped up ass! It was delivered with such a punch, my whole body moved forward with the motion.

“Fourrr… sob… Sir…. thank… sob… you…. Sob…Sirrrrr. Please give me one ….sob….more…. Sir.”

SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!

In rapid succession he fired off three more that I was not anticipating. No time to count. After the third one, I had moved so far forward on the bed from the forward-motion, that my head touched the headboard.

“Thank … you ….. Sir!”

My whole body collapsed on the bed. To which I felt him climb on top of me and lay down on my back. He covered me entirely, like a warm, inviting blanket.

He must’ve taken his clothes off at some point, maybe that was why there were such pauses between the last smacks, because he was getting himself very naked. His skin-to-skin touch felt so warm and cozy that it brought warmth to my body inside and out, of course, it did burn my ass at his touch though too. I didn’t care, as I felt all the tension release as I relaxed into the bed.

He brought his head down beside my ear and I heard him calmly say, “that was the good girl that I expect you to be in the way you accepted your punishment with such strength and grace. I’m hopeful we won’t have to do this again.”

In a voice that was barely more than a whisper, as that was all the strength I could muster, I said, “me too Sir.”

He then said, “spread your legs as I get what I came for. You won’t be able to orgasm tonight now, as your punishment is not quite complete. There’s no need to even ask to orgasm because the answer is a resounding NO! Do you understand me?”

There wasn’t much to say as my bravado was squashed and I had such a let down hearing these words from him. So I uttered the only appropriate words there were, “Yes Sir.”

I dutifully spread my legs and I felt his cock fall between my ass cheeks. It felt as rock hard as ever. He lifted his chest slightly off of my back and I could feel that he was pressing his cock down toward the bed and preparing to penetrate me. I welcomed his cock!

That’s when he said, “To ensure my pussy, the one you tried to claim as your own, doesn’t get any ideas, I’m going to fuck you in the ass. This should help you to fight off any orgasm that you might think you need, while I get everything I need and then some!”

With that, he pressed the tip of his hard cock to my backside entrance and I felt my ass start to open for him. His cock spread my cheeks wide as he continued to press in deeper.

He pressed a bit more, and he waited. I knew he was waiting for my sphincter muscle to give way and relax into him. I thought about how kind he was being and willed it to happen even more so. As we both felt it, without another word, he went all the way in!

He pressed his cock all the way inside my ass. He was so deep, I felt his balls touch the hole of my pussy. He held himself there for another minute, allowing me to relax around his thickness.

And with that, I heard him say, “How’s that?”

“Wonderful Sir, thank you for using me this way!” I felt the tension leave my body even more as I felt the whole of his cock deep inside me, his body resting on my back, and my Sir taking me!

He said, “I wish this could be different for you, but it’s just not going to be. Now hold still while I fuck this tight hole and get off the way I need to!”

With that, I also heard him say, “I’m going to fuck you like the bitch dog in heat, that I know you were when I walked in. Get up onto your fours, without letting my cock fall out.”

So I moved into position. I knew my ass was about to feel a pounding like never before. I felt his hands grab onto my hips and I cringed. His thumbs touched my sore ass and dug in, a reminder of how I found myself in this position quite constant still! He pulled me back onto him. He said, “hang on tight my love. Here we go!”

He was using his hands to cause my hips and ass to move on and off of his cock in such a way that I was ultimately fucking him rather than him fucking me. Every time my ass collided with his body, I felt the heat from the spanking roll through my body. He didn’t care. I heard him saying, “Bitch move your hips! Take my cock deep! Make me fucking cum in your ass.”

He caused my ass as to fuck his cock as hard as he’s ever done and faster than I ever knew possible. In and out in rapid succession. I felt his balls bang hard against my pussy hole. It couldn’t be ignored. It was such a turn on. I felt my orgasm rising so quickly once again.

I started to worry I would orgasm before my Sir did. I started talking dirty, “Sir, bring me down to size! Rip my ass open inside and out. Fuck my ass hard Sir.”

It was encouraging to him, he started to moan. I could tell he was getting close. He smacked my ass with his hand, to which I cringed in pain. My Sir moaned even more and called out, “I’m getting close. Slut, get me there!”

“Sir, I need to orgasm Sir! Please Sir, fuck my ass and fill it up before I can’t control myself.”

He slapped hard on my ass, “NO! You will NOT orgasm. You’ll take this punishment and let me fill your ass properly!”

“Please Sir, give it to me NOW!” And I pressed my ass back onto his cock and pulled myself back off, and repeated again and again, going as fast as I could make myself go while praying I didn’t lose control of my own orgasm rising inside me.

That was when he grabbed my ass and pushed himself deep, and held me there. I felt his cock flex in my ass hard as I also heard him moan into me for the last time. He released his seed deep into my ass. He milked himself by pressing my ass in and out one last time, much slower this time.

He held himself there for another minute, when he finally pulled out and rolled over to my side.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I managed to NOT orgasm through my ass pounding … inside AND out. But allowed my Sir to punish me with grace and style, and accepted his seed fully too. But I so wanted to orgasm so badly still.

He rolled onto his back and he said, “come here baby girl. Your punishment is over and all is forgiven. Come snuggle with me and let’s rest together now.”

And he said, “I love you more than you know!”

“Thank you Sir. I love you too. But Sir, I have a question?”

“Okay, what is it?”

“Well… Sir…. I need to orgasm. I almost did on my own, and then again with you fucking my ass. Can I…”

“STOP. You don’t need to ruin this night with that talk. Instead… go get your belt on and bring me the lock and key.”

I went and got the chastity belt, put it in place, and grabbed the lock. I placed it in Sir’s hand. He put the lock on my belt, and snapped it shut. He tapped his finger on it and said, “Beautiful steel covering MY pussy. MY pussy will not cum until I allow it. Maybe tomorrow!”

I sighed heavily and he laughed.

He smiled and said, “Now get in bed and let’s sleep, just like this, all the way to tomorrow when I may allow MY pussy to cum but I haven’t quite decided yet either.”

He turned off the lights and said, “Sleep well my beautiful slut wife.”

“Thank you Sir.”

Hugs,

Marie

245 – Forced orgasm

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 245 – Forced orgasm

Admittedly, i did not know or understand what that was until quite recently. Now i do!

i mean i looked it up, read about it, and tried to understand. But it still didn’t make sense to me. The word “forced” and “orgasm” didn’t seem to go together! The idea of being “forced” to do something sounds terrible, depending on what it is… and orgasm isn’t one of them!

i mean tell me i am forced to…. Say… eat ice cream, soak in the bathtub, have a massage, take a day off…. OR ORGASM…. Oh yeah, i am there! Sign me up! Let’s do this! When do we start?! Care to add something else to the list that you’d like to be forced to do too?!

The key word that didn’t fit was the word “forced.” You wouldn’t have to force me to do any of these things mentioned. i am never going to say “oh no, that’s not for me.” So the idea of a forced orgasm seems incongruous.

So if the “thing” that you are asked to do is good and you want to do it, how exactly would the word “forced” be included in the sentence or discussion?!

Until tonight. Things changed. i see the light. i now understand how forced and orgasm go in the same sentence!

David came home from Denver and i was SO pleased to see him, and vice versa. Tonight, he forced me to orgasm, which again, sounds incongruous since i was SO wanting to O anyway! But it happened. i was forced. …. Let me tell you how and why it all came together….

The belt was off and David told me to lay down on the bed and spread my legs. Oh goodie! i get to finally Orgasm! Of course, he did not have to force me to comply!

He grabbed up the vibrating massage wand and said, “Time for some orgasm control work.” Wait. What? O control?!? That implies i DON’T get to O!

He turned it on low and started teasing me. He didn’t put it straight onto my clit, but rather flirted with a little touch and then pull away and then repeat. He put it to the side, then the other side. He looked me straight in the eye to gauge my reactions too.

After about one minute (NOT long!) he put the tip of the wand straight onto my clit and held it there. i flinched and bucked my hips automatically, causing the wand to move free of its target.

That’s when he asked me, “why did you do that? You shouldn’t move” and he did it again. And i did it again. It was involuntary that my hips were moving. The intensity of the wand straight onto my clit was just too much for me to control my body movements.

That’s when he laid across my lower abdomen, pressing my hips into the mattress so that i was pinned there and unable to buck around.

He turned the wand vibration up a notch. Then it went straight onto my clit again. He held it there and forced me to stay still and unable to buck it away. Then he moved it straight onto my pussy opening and pressed it hard there, so that it started to penetrate my hole. It was halfway up into me in a matter of seconds.

i felt the orgasm rising. i squeaked out the words, “Please Sir, may i cum?”

No response. i wasn’t sure if he heard me and ignored me, or if he didn’t hear at all. The need to orgasm was rising ever so quickly. i needed an answer!

So i repeated it, “Pleaseeeee Sir, i need to orgasm…. NOW.”

i heard “NO.”

It brought tears to my face. Not sad ones, but ones of almost panic. Tears of, “i can’t hold out! How can i hold this in any longer?? Pleaseeeee!!”

And then i heard, “NOW cum for me!”

And boy did i! It was huge! It was glorious and wonderful!

But the wand didn’t move, nor did David move from laying on me. He continued without a second of delay. i begged, “NO, Sir. Please Stop. Or pause. Or something. i can’t do this. i need a break to recover.”

And i heard, “No!” and the wand stayed in its place. He was moving it from my opening to my clit and back. It was unrelenting and unforgiving. It was intense and constantly touching my clit or my pussy hole or surprisingly he managed to touch both at the same time too!

It began to feel like torture to my puss! It started to hurt in a matter of a few more seconds. It was a good pain overall, but the intensity was so great, it was indeed painful. i begged him to stop, “Please Sir, it’s hurting.”

He said, “No! Cum for me again! Now!”

And i did.

Another Orgasm… this time a forced orgasm…. Came out of me.

And he didn’t stop there either! i couldn’t even form words at that point then as he still didn’t stop. The wand kept up its assault on my pussy as it moved around, but never stopped.

And another. …. Forced orgasm… flowed out.

And another too!

In my head i was begging for it to stop…. AND for it to continue. i couldn’t decide which one would be best. i also couldn’t form words out loud as my eyes rolled back in my head, my body stopped tightening up, and i just started to relax into the intensity of it all. i accepted Sir’s control, the feelings that washed over me, and relaxed into it.

The orgasms were quite literally continuous.

Another forced orgasm and another and another all flowed out.

i lost count. i think it was 5 or 6 or 7 even, but i can’t say for sure because i couldn’t say where one stopped and another started!

The pain AND pleasure was exquisite.

It was amazing!

When he finally turned off the wand, he moved off of my body and smiled at me. He kissed my tingling lips and said, “welcome home to me!”

My eyes had long since rolled back in my head, my body was tingling from my lips to my toes, my pussy was throbbing in rolling muscle spasms, and i couldn’t speak aloud. i did hear myself think, “yes, welcome home to ME Sir!”

i laid there recovering for a good 5-10 minutes as he prepared for bed, and he then got in bed beside me, and snuggled up to me. While i wasn’t moving during that time, my mind was alert. i knew exactly where he was and what he was doing as i tried to recover enough to be able to thank him properly.

He asked, “Did you expect that?”

“Uh…. NO Sir, i did NOT. Thank you Sir!!”

“How’s that for orgasm control? I’d say I controlled every one of those orgasms! Did I not?”

“Oh yes Sir, you most definitely did!”

“Good! Getting where we both want now!” (Where i only orgasm at his command and not before or after… or of my own volition/hand/masturbation.)

“Yes Sir.”

It still took me about another 5-10 to feel “back to normal,” but by then, i was SO exhausted i just closed my eyes and went off to sleep.

Now today, it occurred to me that what happened was a FORCED ORGASM(s). i decided to find and re-read the exact same article that i had read when researching the topic long ago. The lightbulb clicked on in my head. THIS is exactly what happened to me!

Here is the article: Forced orgasms per Healthline

Did you click on it and read that linked article? It won’t take but another minute, but i won’t FORCE you to! Lol.

Exactly how the article describes it, is exactly what happened!

Because i am doubting you actually read the article….. Part of the article says this ….

“So for people with vulvas, forced orgasm usually entails (consensually) making them orgasm over and over and over and over without a come-down period between each orgasm”, explains Carly S., a kink-inclusive sex educator and founder of Dildo or Dildon’t, a pleasure product review and sex educational platform.

“It could look like having the receiver tied down while their partner holds a high-powered vibrator against their body, eliciting orgasm after orgasm,” says Carly S.

T – H – I – S is exactly what happened. i got no come-down period, he held me in place, held a high powered vibrator and elicited (a lot) of orgasms at his will, not mine. He FORCED the orgasms out of me!

N-O-W i get it…. the concept and the way that the words “forced” and “orgasm” go together! And maybe you do too. Or maybe you already understood and it wasn’t a question… if you did though, why didn’t you force me to understand already?! Ha.

Okay, now i have to force myself off the couch, to the shower, and to work. Yes, going to work is sometimes a forced activity… apparently the same as what a forced orgasm can sometimes be too!

Hugs,

Marie

244 – Long distance … sexting … chastity … and complete submission. (Oh my!)

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 244 – Long distance … sexting … chastity … and complete submission. (Oh my!)

David had to go to Denver for 3-days and today is Day 1 of his absence. He texted me this morning and said, “Going to send me any naughty pics today?”

i wrote back, “i can send pics if you’d like.” And we went about our day, and while we sent periodic other texts, it was vanilla/innocuous too.

On my way home from work, he sent another text, “Do I get pics tonight?” To which again, i replied. “If you’d like.”

He immediately responded with, “Thought I’d said that earlier already.”

While i did (politely and properly) point out that he had not “said” but rather “asked” for pictures, i did recognize that was my que too. That while it was worded as a question, it was really a command with a question mark at the end. So upon getting home, i took my clothes off, jumped in the pool naked, and opened my phone.

After sending him the pics he wanted, he said, “Very nice. You slut.”

While admittedly most would NOT see the word “slut” as a term of endearment, when i hear it from David, i do. i know he means it in the most sexy and turned on way, and it tells me i have achieved my goal: making him happy with what he sees!

Because i am happy (and turned on!) when i know David’s needs are met, i am indeed a slut .. craving and wanting more (and more) sex! i love having sec with him in all forms and fashions, but then when it’s pleasing to him for me to have sex with others, i love that too! So the term “slut” is both truth and loving for me when he calls me that.

i responded with, “Thank you Sir! Should i make myself slick with cum and take a picture of that for you too??”

His response, “No.”

While sometimes he gives me a directive in the form of a question, like what was noted above, in times where there should be no room for doubt, his words are perfectly straightforward and abundantly clear!

i was hoping to get to orgasm, under (a guise) of doing it to please him (with a picture). But he saw through me ever-so-quickly and called me out even-more-quickly.

i said, “You just don’t want me to have an orgasm.”

And i got another one-word response, “Correct.”

To which i just didn’t respond in words, but i didn’t have to either, as then we texted about vanilla things (dinner, day’s activities, etc) but the whole time i really wanted to orgasm.

But there was no denying, i had gotten myself turned on with the naked swimming, picture taking, and sexting with David.

So i wrote, “i’m struggling to NOT touch myself.”

He said, “It shouldn’t be a struggle since you have been commanded not to.”

“i understand Sir.”

And the vanilla convo resumed for an additional 30-minutes.

During that time, i did NOT touch myself but i was mentally losing the battle too. So….. i went and put on the chastity belt. The pink one.

And instead of telling David about what i did, instead i texted him a pic of me… wearing one of his fav t shirts … and the chastity belt.

He wrote, “Very nice. And wise too!”

i was surprised he said that and I told him as much, as i was a bit concerned he might be disappointed at my inability to control myself with the aid of the chastity belt. But to my pleasant surprise, he was pleased at my choice.

After i told him all that he texted, “I know you can’t control yourself.”

“Maybe i ought to leave the belt on until you come home again.”

And he said, “Maybe I should make you give the key to someone else.”

My eyes got big and i wrote, “Wow.”

“Wow? what my slut?”

“wow to the idea of giving the key to someone.”

“Scary for you??”

“Yes Sir, but i suppose it’s also something of a turn on too! How does it make you feel?”

“Strong. And confident. And in control.”

i smiled big. And i told him, “Good. That’s how you should feel!”

i don’t know if i will keep the key or give it to someone of his choosing, because he didn’t say for sure. But i suspect it will be mine to keep. At least this time anyway.

That’s when he said, “Sleep well.”

And i said, “you too Sir.”

i am certain that whether the belt stays on or not (continuously) for the remainder of his trip, or if i keep the key or give it away, that i will NOT be orgasming in his absence.

[i am aware that i can take this off if i want to. It seems silly to make myself wear a belt when i haven’t been made to otherwise, when I have the key sitting right here too! As well, if i can restrain from touching/orgasming with the belt on, shouldn’t i also have self restraint to be able to also not O with it off?!? Yes, in theory, that is absolutely true. But in my mind, by putting on the belt, i have been intentional about making the touching/orgasm that much more elusive. i have made myself unavailable even to myself. And “if” i get SO determined to get the O, i would have to be very intentional about taking the belt off again too. In other words, I made it that much harder for myself, which is what I needed!]

Now me and my metal are off to sleep…. Without touching, excitement, or orgasming. i can hardly wait for the fitted Fancy Steel version to arrive!

UPDATE: All of the above happened yesterday. Today is Day 2 of his absence. i just didn’t get this fully finished or posted. So now i will tell you more about what has happened since last night…..

i slept great. You might not think it easy to sleep in chastity, but it is surprisingly quite comfortable and easy to do. In fact, when i have the mental angst of trying to NOT touch myself when i am commanded not to causes such a battle for me it is hard to relax and sleep. But with the belt in place, it was as of i allowed myself to relax and know that the battle was won and i could just rest easy.

While i didn’t have explicit approval to remove the belt this morning, i didn’t think it was required to stay on either since it was my idea to put it on in the first place yesterday. Plus he didn’t tell me i had to ask to take it off either. So i took it off, did a 2-mile walk, showered, dressed, and went to work. All without the belt.

After coming back home tonight, i found myself revved up and wanting to masturbate. So i texted David about all this and i asked, “what do you think about me putting on the chastity belt and leaving it on until you are home and you take it off?”

He wrote, “That’s a good idea!”

So i went and put it on. And i texted, “All locked up and nowhere to go now.”

He responded, “Good!”

(He hasn’t mentioned anymore about the key being given to anyone, which i am grateful for!)

This is now me embarking on the longest consecutive time while belted. To date, i have only been belted a total of (about) 14’ish consecutive hours. This is going to be nearly double that time!

That’s when i told him how i think he is starting to come around to the idea of how the belt can prove a useful tool for both of us. i also said that even though at one point he thought it should be unnecessary, (because i should have better self control than i do), he is now seeing that this is the best tool for the job.

He agreed.

i foresee a lot more hours (days!) in the belt in my future, especially after the custom fit Fancy Steel belt arrives in a month. Because while this one is made to wear long term, for showers or pee or poop, it doesn’t fit quite as snugly as a custom one does and it chafes no matter how hard i try to get it to fit properly. The fitted one will allow for a regular long term wear of it, and i am getting use to the idea of that being in my future.

Giving the key to David as my lady parts are locked up feels like the ultimate power exchange for me. While i have agreed to submit to him, and agreed to not have unauthorized orgasms, without the belt i have always had a “safety net.” Safety net being the ultimate ability to do as i want to, if i want to. Not saying i want to, but i could. i could touch myself, or do whatever i wanted to really, if i so chose to do so. Obviously not without consequence, but it was possible. Even right now, i have the key and could use it if i want to.

But as we go further into the realm of permanent chastity, where i will not have the key, the ability to touch myself is becoming less available. i suspect, and i may even ask (!) that David’s next out of town trip will likely include me being locked up from the get go, without knowledge of where the key is hidden (or if it’s even in the house) either. The power exchange is becoming more complete for me, both mentally AND physically! All of which is causing my submission to feel so deep and so genuinely heartfelt! ❤️

Hugs,

Marie

243 – Acceptance… of chastity.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 243 – Acceptance… of chastity.

Note… i wrote this prior to my vacation but ran out of time to get it posted and only just realized it was in drafts still. i am going to post it now, as it shows the progression of the use of the chastity belt for both me (physically) and David (mentally). We are growing with it, and i love where we are going!

And without further ado……

The belt is becoming a real part of my world now. And David’s too!

i am not entirely sure how i feel about it. And David is truly beginning to love it!

i have now been strapped in for the 3rd consecutive night now. And it was at David’s direction this time.

i was planning to take a day off, but David wasn’t having it.

Let me fill you in on what’s happened as of late…….

Three evenings ago, i strapped and locked myself in. And handed David the keys. He was cringing at the sight. Literally. i literally saw his face scrunch up and he looked me in the eye with real concern. He was concerned about how tight it was (could i breath), about whether it was necessary at all anyway (can’t i just control myself), about whether this was a good idea (will i be able to actually sleep)……

But that was three evenings ago and he’s changed his mind now.

Admittedly, i did not sleep too well that first night. i am not too sure why, but i woke up every 2-hours. i’m not sure if it was the belt or if that had anything at all to do with it.

When i was out of bed in the morning, David asked me if i was ready to be let out. i responded with, “yes Sir, i believe i am.” And he produced the keys and i was released.

As that day progressed, i was glad to be released as i discovered a few chafed spots where the belt had rubbed. Nothing too serious, but still some irritation too. The release allowed my body to rest and heal. By evening, i was ready to try again.

When i asked David, “do you want me to put it back on again tonight?”

He responded with, “If you wish.”

i wasn’t too sure if i wished, but i put it on anyway. i rationalized that i wanted this, i ordered and received it, now i needed to use it. i have had this fascination with the chastity belt for a good long time now, so it is truly time to determine once and for all if it is a good…. Or a bad…. thing. And that means that whether i feel like it or not, i need to put it on… i mean, it is just Day 2!

So it went on. And nothing else. Other than the belt, i was completely naked. David smiled when he saw me. And he motioned for me to go toward him.

He was sitting on the couch, so i walked up to him and leaned in. He used both his hands and tweaked both my nipples hard. He pulled and then twisted them. And then he stuck his tongue far down my throat while twisting them even more. That’s when he let go, pulled away, and asked me, “How’d that feel?”

“It hurt Sir. But it was a good hurt.”

Then he tapped on the belt front, specifically on the lock, and it clanked against the other belt (metal) parts. That’s when he told me he was pleased with my decision to wear it, but now to go sit down so we could watch tv. So i did. And we watched tv, same as we do every other night until it was time for bed.

i slept a lot better in the belt on night 2 than night 1, but still not great either. And upon waking, it came off. Once again, i was grateful to be out of it as it is giving my body time to adjust but not be overwhelmed.

That was earlier today. So then in mid-morning, i asked if i could masturbate and David said yes. Yeah for me!

So i promptly set about playing and it was only about 2-minutes until i had a very big O! Yes, 2-whole-minutes. The orgasm washed over me and felt so good, but i was a bit disappointed in just how fast it really was too.

Then as the day wore on, i decided i would not wear it tonight. That i would let my body rest from it, but then also allow my mind to rest with good sleep tonight too.

Little did i know just how much David is starting to embrace this.

i told him about my idea of training me into wearing it when away from him and when he was sleeping. He liked that idea very much and has decided we need to start toward that goal.

With that, i was expecting him to say put it on. Instead, he told me to lay on the bed and spread my legs. Oh yeah! A better orgasm ahead! Two in one day even!

He brought out the wand vibrator. He smiled a wicked smile and said, “Do NOT orgasm! When you get close, you need to tell me. We are going to work on your orgasm control again. You’ve had many months to do as you please and now that’s changing.”

So the words alone, along with my Dominant husband taking control, made me dripping wet already!

He proceeded to use the wand on all levels, up and down, circles, side to side… and every time i got very close to O, he took it away and waited a minute until i was calm again. And he repeated it over and over. He asked me how close was i, to which i had to say “extremely!”

Then he asked me, “Are you frustrated?”

To which i responded, “No Sir. i figure in a minute you’ll be kind and lean in and kiss my pussy with your tongue…and let me orgasm.”

He responded with a “hmm” and repeated the wand exercise again about another 3 times.

That’s when he did lean in and lick my clit for about 2-seconds! NOT enough!

He licked. He stopped. As he pulled away, he said, “time for the belt. Put it on and I’ll snap the lock shut.”

i looked at him in complete surprise and said, “are you being serious?” i truly anticipated him smiling at that very second and saying he was just joking with me.

He was Serious. Not a joke.

The belt went on.

And i pouted. i didn’t mean to. i just did. He noticed. He laughed.

Then he announced we would do this every night for the next week. That we need to get my Orgasms back under (his) control.

i have mixed emotions now as i lay in bed typing this while belted in for the night. i should be utterly thrilled that my dominant husband has (finally!) seemingly returned. And i am. But now the reality of the belt is setting in. The reality that i am indeed NOT in control or even able to touch myself anymore and having metal between my legs is now a real thing that will change the way we operate now. But this is what i wanted, right? i mean, i was seeing this as a “try it before you buy (the really expensive fitted belt) it” kinda thing.

But now… it seems like cheap belt or expensive one, THIS is how it’s gonna be. With David as my key holder. i think i like it. i think it is good. i hope it is…..

Sleep well my unbelted friends!

Hugs,

Marie