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237 – Pretty in Pink.

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 237 – Pretty in Pink.

i told you about how David approved a new chastity belt to be bought. Well, i was planning to buy a $$$$ value, custom-built chastity belt but when it came to pressing the button to “submit” the order, i chickened out. (Catch the play on words… i submit to David, but not submit the order online?! Lol)

i started thinking about allllll the what-IF’s. What if it doesn’t fit right, what if this is a “phase,” what if i am allergic to the metal it’s made with, what if someone discovers my belt … how do i explain this…. Why am i crazy to want this..…. What if…. WHAT IF….. Anddddd what IF…..

And after the what-ifs became so many, i decided to instead order a cheaper $$$, but new, Chinese version. i told David i wanted to try to wear it more frequently and not just as a cute, sexy play toy or as a punishment. But rather, a regular occurrence with the purpose of limiting my own access to my own pussy to keep me more ready for him and to ensure i don’t have orgasms without permission.

While David doesn’t think a belt should be necessary and he thinks the chastity belt looks “really uncomfortable,” he does agree that i have zero self control.

Ever since ordering it (the cheaper version belt), i have been daydreaming nonstop about having it on. i have thought, “i wonder what it will be like i do this (whatever “this” is!) while belted.” And, “i wonder if David will want to be my key holder. i hope he takes the keys and does not give me the opportunity to just get out of it just anytime i want.”

And in the midst of all my thoughts…. it arrived.

The Chinese versions come disassembled and are quite adjustable. (i am not sure how the $$$$ custom-fit ones would arrive.). It’s great, as i don’t need to worry about whether i measured and ordered the exact-right-size. Giving me yet another opportunity to determine what the true, correct measurements for the really nice, $$$$ quite pricey, and quite-specifically-fitted belt should be.

It has taken me two days to get it set to where i think it’s the right fit. It was no easy feat! i wonder how many people would just give up!

But today…. It went on.

It is 8:40 pm as i write this. Been locked up for 30-minutes. i have no idea how long it will stay on.

It fits so snug. i can’t really reach my clit at all. Yes, i already tried. i had to know. But that’s the point, right?!?

i walked out of the bedroom with it on. Nothing else.

David was like, “oh wow! My wife is all locked up and looking so sexy!”

And he held his hand out. i was like, “what?”

He looked at me like i was the dumbest thing on the planet, rolls his eyes, and says, “keys??”

“Oh. Yeah. That.”

He smiled and said, “uh… yes. That. They belong to me.”

So i went and got them. Dropped them in his hand. And he smiled.

(That answered one question about whether he would be the key holder!).

He asked, “comfortable?”

i answered honestly with, “so far. But it’s only been a few minutes.”

He said, “we will see if you think it’s still comfortable next week.”

i admit… i am not entirely sure if he is thinking i will not come out of the chastity belt for an entire week or maybe i will be wearing it a lot, but not non-stop, and maybe by next week the shiny new toy isn’t so shiny then. i hope it is the latter. In fact, i am quite sure i won’t be able to put it on, and never have it come off (for a week straight), that quickly or easily.

My ultimate goal is to be locked up as long as David wants, without reason to take it off. To be more specific, i hope we get to the place where i am locked up anytime i am away from David (like work, grocery store, girl’s night out, etc – so neither i nor anyone else being able to touch me) and when David goes to sleep (to keep me from playing with myself at night).

So i wonder if the belt will come off tonight yet…. Small trial. Or will it stay on overnight… longer trial.

The belt is comfortable, fits quote snuggly, but does not hurt one bit. At least right now anyway. While it may start hurting at some point, its not supposed to hurt, if it’s fitted correctly anyway. Its supposed to fit tight enough to stop sex and/or masturbation. In my case, perhaps both but especially masturbation. So having a longer trial already so soon is really A-OK by me.

As we start to get ready for bed now, he announced he has hidden the keys. He continued by saying if i want them back or to have the lock opened, i have to ask nicely.

So i asked if i can have the keys to take it off for the night, and he smiled and said, “nope! You can sleep in it tonight.”

And now we are talking about ordinary things like whether the doors are locked, how our day went, what book we are each reading, about him having sinus congestion and that he has taken Tylenol PM… and will be asleep soon.

i will admit… i should’ve asked for an orgasm before getting locked in. As that’s now all that i have thought about for many minutes here tonight too!

i won’t lie though … i am happy. i wanted this. And i think it will be good for me. i know this will save me for David. It will make me be quite patient, submissive and receptive to David’s mood and needs. That’s the part i most look forward to.

And if this trial with the cheap $$$ belt goes well, i will indeed order the permanent $$$$ belt with glee.

We shall see if i agree with all these same sentiments by this time next week! Of course, all it takes is a little discipline…and my ability to O-B-E-Y!!

Hugs,

Marie

233 – i prayed for patience

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 233 – i prayed for patience

Quite a long time ago….. like nearly 20-years ago now, i prayed to God to teach me patience. After about a year of enduring situations that demanded patience, i heard myself begging God to let me take back that same prayer… “Yeah, God… uhm… can we forget we had this little talk, shall we?”

i hated it! The only way to learn patience is to experience it….. to be patient. And wait.

To this day, i do not think God forgot. i think He merely laughed. And He put me into other various situations to continue to test my endurance… and patience.

Patience often means self control, which also means self discipline. i don’t mean self discipline as in self inflicted spankings, but rather more like controlling myself to avoid getting into a situation needing physical discipline at all.

Self discipline and self control are very much related and/or the same thing, but so is patience really. We all must learn these virtues throughout life. It’s what keeps us out of trouble.

So all of this can be hard under normal circumstances but add to it a D/s dynamic and it [being patience!] becomes very nearly required and yet… sometimes impossible.

i find myself having to exert a LOT of patience these days as i wait on David to decide if/when he wants to be in an (active) D/s relationship…. And let me tell you, it is pure torture.

But today i see it is already starting to payoff. i know what you are thinking…. “It’s just been a few days!”

But that’s because i only just told you about it. i just didn’t have the courage to tell you. Or maybe it was more like, i didn’t want to admit it… even to myself!

We started not (actively) living this lifestyle just after Christmas. It wasn’t a particular day or time that we decided to stop but rather the D/s activities just started to fade away over time.

So i have been praying and waiting and enduring …. And practiced building PATIENCE…

Today, i saw a small change. But it felt huge!

David & i were at an event with several friends. David made a comment to one of the friends where he spoke about something and i was quick to correct him. i didn’t mean to snap, but i had information that he didn’t and i blurted it out, effectively making him look (and probably feel) inadequate.

He looked sternly at me where in a hushed voice which was clearly audible for only my ears, he said, “you don’t need to be so snarky!”

i just responded with, “Yes. i agree.”

And i stopped.

Later in the day, hours after the event concluded, out of the blue he texted, “I noticed you listened.”

i knew what he was referring to immediately and i smiled. He noticed! i texted back, “as i mentioned, i intent to be the best submissive wife i can be. If you choose to enforce it, i would love that. But i know it needs to be your decision too.”

A minute later, i saw the tell tale blinking …. The Dots….. he was texting back….

And i waited more…. Exercising more patience!

That’s when his message came through and it said, “I likely will.”

And i feel confident, he will. Just can’t wait til he does…..

Ok.

i know.

i have to.

Wait.

BE PATIENT!

Hugs,

Marie

231 – Can’t force it. Just let it be.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Marriage, My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 231 – Can’t force it. Just let it be.

Sometimes you learn exactly what you are, and exactly how to act, and exactly why you do what you do. And sometimes that happens all on your own.

That’s what’s happened to me.

While i have been incredibly happy to submit, for years now, i know that David has not always been so receptive. In fact, sometimes if it weren’t for me FORCING our relationship into the box i wanted it to be (one of D/s or DD), D/s wouldn’t be a thing for us.

Don’t misunderstand, he has loved my submissiveness. He just hasn’t always liked the Dominant role i thrust him into.

In times where i have been absent from this blog is primarily the same times that i have given up on the whole idea and thought, “This is dumb!” The “Whole idea” being both about D/s AND this blog.

In times where we have been spot-on and doing/living the D/s dynamic, we are great. We are alive with newness and excitement, and we never fight. Because we don’t need to fight. Because we are exactly aligned. Which is exactly why i love the dynamic and living it too.

But if it’s forced, it’s not good.

i decided with the new year for 2022, i just wouldn’t. i wouldn’t fight for it or force it or try to make it to happen in any way. i haven’t pressured David to do what HE doesn’t want to, or that HE didn’t initiate.

While we’ve had a good 2022 in these many months, it’s been almost exclusively with a vanilla/normal relationship. It was as if the D/s dynamic just faded away until its just nothing more than a memory to talk about in a nostalgic way… like “remember when we used to….” type way.

The fact he doesn’t ever bring it up or talk about it, let alone act on it, and has told me that he’s just not that into it. So i have let it drop. Mostly.

It saddens me to NOT have it, but it is what it is. i can’t be submissive and force him to be a Dominate at the same time. He isn’t a puppet to just merely act the part that i have written the script for.

But i know who i am. And i am submissive.

To Him.

Only.

i have tried to pretend its not me, that it’s not who i am. i have tried to forget about it too, and act “normal”. But. i can’t. i can’t forget. And i realize MY normal is being a submissive.

i have come to realize all this all on my own. i can’t change him into what i want. He has to want it. But likewise, he can’t change me into what he wants me to be either.

What i know without a doubt = i am His submissive.

And i have decided to start acting it more than talking about it. i have also decided to stop trying to force him to act like he’s my Dom too. If or when he wants to, he will have an open door.

i decided to tell him all this today, much in the same way i just told you. i think it surprised him as i think he has assumed i was over it. i think he thought it was a fad for me. And now that we haven’t done it (lived or forced it to happen) for many months now, it was a long-ago-forgotten memory.

i don’t know what this means or how it will play out exactly. But what i do know is that he’s always been and always will be my Sir. And i will acknowledge and show him the respect that entails for as long as i live.

Maybe one day he will want to be my Dom all on his own too. In the meantime, i won’t force it, demand it, or try to just get it to happen. i will be the submissive wife i have proclaimed to be. And let the rest all be what it will be.

i don’t know what that means for this blog either. i will probably be here telling you about me and my side of the story, but … that’s pretty much what i have already done for more than 2-years too! So … probably no real changes there. Ha!

For the first time ever though, i am going to absolutely refuse to top-from-the-bottom now…. i always knew i was kind of doing this, but now i know it’s not ok.

i will say prayers that David decides to be my Dominant Husband, and not just my Vanilla Husband. But either way, i will be his submissive.

Hugs,

Marie

230 – Sir. SIR. SIR! And….. S-I-R!

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Sometimes rules must be tailored to be a good fit for our relationship. Sometimes the fit is just perfect, but needs to be refreshed.

Saying “Sir” is one of those things for us! It is absolutely something that fits, but it is in need of refreshment.

Yet, somehow, over the years i have not always said it, nor has David always expected it. Or maybe he has always expected it, but never enforced it. i’m not entirely sure which.

Let me go back a minute and remind you (and myself) why i say Sir at all anyway…..

When i decided to look up the word’s definition, i found this:

Do you see the first sentence there? Used as a “respectful way of addressing a man, especially one in a position of authority.”

Sir is a term used a fair bit in the bdsm and d/s lifestyles and is used to refer to one’s dominant. The term is used to reference the power exchange, or imbalance as some would say, and it is there as well to denote a level of respect.

David is absolutely in a position of authority in my life. And he has every bit of power in our relationship. As well, i have said before there are times where i need to have a physical or tangible reminder of my submission (and his dominance). When i speak the word “Sir” it is a verbal word that also serves as a reminder for myself. So it seems that the word SIR is applicable in every way!

Me saying Sir has not been a new thing for us either. Saying Sir has been a thing for a longggggg time now. It was one of the first things we negotiated and one of the first things i ever wrote about.

Unfortunately though, when something isn’t spoken aloud (or enforced), it’s hard to know if the other even cares about it. And if it doesn’t seem important, pretty soon the habit is dropped. And pretty soon after that, it becomes a non-event altogether. i’d say this is true of anything in life really.

Anytime something isn’t practiced, it’s forgotten, which is pretty much the source of the phrase “use it or lose it.” You could pretty much say i lost it…. The muscle memory to say “Sir” has not been too much of a thing for us as of late.

Oh i have said it. Just not frequently. i have said it when i felt like it, but i wouldn’t say it was altogether frequently either. i have used it more like a treat or an extra special event. He hasn’t brought attention to its use or rather i should say lack of it’s use is more like it!

But that is changing now. The last couple of days, he has absolutely let me know in a passive-aggressive way but meant to make an impression all the same too, that saying SIR is something i should be doing far more than ithat have been.

Like today, he asked me a question and i just said, “no”. To which he said, “No….. what?!” and of course i knew he wanted the “Sir” and i spoke it aloud immediately.

And yesterday after i thanked him for helping me with something, he said, “want to say that properly?”

So i said, “thank you Sir.”

While he hasn’t exactly said that what i say (without Sir) was wrong, through that passive-aggressive way he’s now used, i know he thinks it is an incomplete response too.

The opposite has been true though too. When i get it right (and use the word Sir), he has made no comment about it, doesn’t praise it, or otherwise really make mention of it.

i think that’s because it is expected. Like anything expected, it doesn’t give rise to an occasion worthy of mention. For example, taking a shower or getting dressed or going to work or cooking dinner. Those are all normal activities. Those activities aren’t things that are specifically talked about or praised. Can you imagine saying, “oh good girl! You went to work today!” ? Uhm… no.

Using the same thought process, Sir has not said anything like, “oh wonderful Marie, you used the word Sir.” it just hasn’t been talked about.

Unfortunately i mistakenly assumed his lack of discussion about it as indication that it did not matter to him. Of course, his lack of punishment for NOT using it seemed to also give indication that he didn’t care about its use either. But again, i mistakenly assumed he did not care.

Today though, when he corrected me, i decided to ask about it. i told him much of what I have said here. i specifically said that i didn’t think he cared (anymore) about it as he hadn’t said anything about it until (of course) the most recent days.

To which he responded with one sentence, “The next time I have to correct you, your butt will feel it.”

“Yes SIR. Understood SIR.”

So while it may have been along time ago now that he first told me to use it, the applicability is still very much appropriate!

And because I never took exception to it in the first place, but rather simply grew lazy about it, i will use it frequently again as i have NO desire to feel the cane anytime too soon… or even later!

Of course, easier said than done. As even this first day has moved onward, David asked me to help in the kitchen and i said, “ok” and forgot the word S-I-R. i am fairly sure he didn’t hear me respond though, so i was “safe” for now. But i really have to stay in the moment for awhile and be intentional about this… at least until it becomes a regular thing again and the muscle memory is committed to memory again!

Hugs,

Marie

226 – The (preemptive) Party plan

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Almost without fail, every time we host people to our home for an event of any size, David and i tend to end up at odds with one another beforehand.

And the bigger the event, typically the bigger the differences between Sir and i become. Two years ago, we got into a huge fight ahead of a party, but once the party started, all was forgotten and by the end of the party we didn’t even mention it again.

It’s all because we both want things to run smoothly for the event and we are “on a mission” ahead of time to get everything set just perfect. But the trouble is, we both have our own agenda and sometimes the two agendas don’t quite connect and in fact they frequently collide.

We don’t do too many events really at all, but definitely never too close together either. Maybe 1-3 events per year. In fact, this year we had a Super Bowl party in February and nothing again until December. And with so much time in between, we typically “forget” the things we even had trouble with then, so we don’t take precautions ahead of the next event to not have trouble arise for the event at hand.

This year is different though. As i wrote before, this past Saturday we hosted a Christmas party for David’s coworkers. And now this Friday, we are hosting another Christmas party for my co-workers. i don’t ever remember having two parties so close together that we just attended, let alone hosted!

And after this past Saturday’s difficulties in light of the fact we nearly got into a fight but saved it at the end, David decided to do things differently this week.

He started talking to me yesterday about this and i can tell it will continue. He started out saying, “we aren’t going to have a repeat of our skirmish ahead of this party, like what we had for the last party. Are we?”

To which i responded, “i certainly hope not Sir.”

And he said, “I’m sure we won’t. In fact, we are going to do things differently to prevent it.”

i inquired about what he had in mind. And he told me that, “Friday is always maintenance anyway. So bring the party day too, we will start the day with a rather intense maintenance spanking. I will talk to you throughout about how you are to be submissive, responsive, cooperative, and to remind you that your actions and especially your words are to be in line.”

i said, “while i wish it weren’t necessary, i think this sounds like a good plan.”

He then added, “that’s not all I have planned though. I intend to have you naked for the morning. There’s no reason for you to wear clothes. You are always more submissive when you are exposed, so I want to reinforce this heavily and that’s what you’ll do.”

He went on, “then around noon, I will insist on putting your anal plug in your ass and you’ll wear it for the duration of the planning period and all the way to the end of the party as a constant reminder of how you are to act.”

He also said, “and should you and I do well on this party day without any trouble between us, on Saturday morning I will fuck you hard and you can orgasm as often as you want. But make no mistake, if you are NOT good or if we end up fighting still, on Saturday morning we will meet. But not for fun. We will have another spanking but this one will be an intense discipline one where you’ll be wishing we hadn’t fought on Friday!”

“And lastly, if this goes well, we will make this part of our pre-party ritual for every event. Do you have any questions?” is how he ended.

“No Sir. This sounds like a good way to prevent trouble before it arises. And for what it’s worth, i love how in control you are AND how preemptive you want to be now too. i hate fighting with you and i intend to be fucked hard on Saturday now! i can’t wait!”

He finished with, “good. I’m glad we have a better plan of action because I have no desire to fight with you either. And this way, we won’t. And if there’s trouble, we both know how we will handle it.”

With that, i smiled at me and he hugged me in return.

Friday and Saturday will now be quite a lot more interesting than “just a party” at our house again!

But i am confident all will go extremely well and my Saturday will be spent with a sore puss, and NOT a sore ass! 😉

Stay tuned…..

Hugs,

Marie