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50 – Chastity Belt … Update

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Marriage, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial. No Comments on 50 – Chastity Belt … Update

So because i mentioned it before and in a few comments, i’ve been asked for an update on the progress on my chastity belt, i decided to do just that… update you.

i’ve been doing a LOT of research. i’ve found a lot of chastity belts… gag gifts, very (VERY!) pricey, effective but not for me, ineffective and probably only good for pictures, and …. well… one that i have on order. This is what it looks like:

chastity belt i have on order

i rarely take (sexual/ naked) pictures of myself … and those that i do, only go to my husband… and never with my face…. but i promise you, if this one works as i hope it does, i’ll post a picture with it on for you. 🙂

CHASTITY BELT – WHY?!?

Okay, well, let’s review…. my husband and Sir, is the head of our house and of me. i am submissive. He has been trying to train me that my private parts are for him. And i’m only allowed to make myself happy with permission. This means that i am open to his touch whenever he wants to and if i want it by my own touch, i have to ask to masturbate and/or orgasm.

He feels orgasm control is the ultimate in my submission because forcing me to ask his permission to touch myself in a most intimate way means he controls my pleasure. And orgasm denial – both mine when I submit to his control and his when he says no – forces me to NOT be selfishly satisfy my OWN needs without putting him before me. And frankly, while i don’t particularly like not cumming when I want to, i do see his point.

i don’t like the rule because he makes me ask in person. It is VERY humbling (and submissive!) to say, “May i have permission to masturbate and to cum please Sir?”

And the seconds between that sentence and the answer sometimes feel like an eternity.

He frequently says yes, but sometimes he does indeed say no.

i think he says no for two reasons: 1) i tend to ask a lot (3-5x’s a week on average – and sometimes multiple times in the same day)…. and 2) because he can. And by saying no, it is an effective rule that i know requires no explanation, no further discussion, and is the final answer.

Well – the “NO” answer is what has led to this place. i’ve tried to be good. i’ve tried to accept that “NO” as his decision. i’ve tried to ignore the desire. But sometimes…. the more i try to ignore it, the more it becomes a ‘thing’ that i can’t successfully ignore.

So similar to a child doing something in secret and hoping to not be caught, i sneak into the closet and do it anyway.

And truly, i have done it and was not caught.

But my guilty conscious weighs heavy.

And i confess.

And i’m punished. Typically with a very intensive spanking, standing in the corner to contemplate it, and sometimes a second spanking.

But …. while that works ‘that day’, it hasn’t been a permanent solution…. and it’s rather detective than preventive.

So David decided i needed to research and find and buy a female chastity belt that was reasonably priced, effective, and able to be worn for long(er) periods of time. And i’ve done just that. And as mentioned, we have one on order. This is the one I bought.

i’ll make you wait to hear more though…. next post my friends. 🙂

(Am i being mean to make you wait?!? David makes me wait to cum…. so i’ll make you wait to hear about the chastity belt…. ha!)

i will leave you with this interesting article i found – Top 10 Facts About Chastity Belts…..https://www.top10hq.com/top-10-facts-about-chastity-belts/

Hugs,
Marie

44 – Fixing what broke

Written by Marie on . Posted in Marriage, Submission, Uncategorized. No Comments on 44 – Fixing what broke

TODAY – Jan 6, 2020 – is mine and Sir’s 19th anniversary. And i couldn’t be happier that we ‘made up’ and are ‘back to normal’. Of course, the normal that includes domestic discipline (DD), him being the Head of Household (HoH), me being submissive and accepting of punishment.

See the thing was, before we ever did DD we weren’t “happily married”. Oh i thought we were. Mostly. But then i knew somewhere inside that we really weren’t. i never felt like i respected him the way i should. In fact, one time (long ago!) he actually called me out on it! And i was like, “What do you mean I don’t respect you?! What exactly do you expect me to do to show you ‘respect’????” … with the word “respect” being spit at him with distain and in such a mocking voice that any self-respecting man would have recognized that i was a shrew in need of a good spanking! But because we had no such DD in our life then, we got into a HUGE fight and at the end nothing got resolved so we just agreed to disagree and ‘forget’ it.

But then, after we started doing DD a bit more than a year ago….we talked more than ever, i showed respect the way he deserved, we had ways to resolve disagreements and we were happy. And disagreement… well… they rarely happened because we both knew who was in charge and who’s word mattered. And i liked it!

And when we stopped… it all went away. The calm, the resolution, the respect, and the best marriage ever. Obviously, my marriage didn’t technically ‘go away’, but it may as well have. So i knew it could be “back to normal” if i’d just stop being stubborn, let my heart be exposed and ask for forgiveness and to start again. So that’s what caused me to step out in faith and risk being rejected and send the text.

What …..a text? Why not show true courage and speak in person? Well in person would’ve been the best option, but i was feeling insecure… and it took the whole ride to work to give me the courage to talk at all! So text was better than nothing.

So i texted Sir and said, “i miss spanking” and he immediately responded with “me too”, and just like that….we started talking. My husband is NOT a talker so to talk as much as we have, i can tell he really did want a do-over and to start fresh as much as i did.

And despite a possible rejection, he did the opposite – he made my heart SOAR!

The BEST (early) anniversary gift ever!

At the time that i caused the problems though and refused to be spanked, i really didn’t think he LIKED the DD stuff. i felt that he did it for a couple of reasons but mainly because i asked him to do it. So after he wasn’t doing what i thought he should, as Dom and HoH, i decided this charade was stupid and didn’t want to do it anymore. YES, i DID want to do the DD and D/s. But i wanted him to want to do it. Not me wanting him to do it with him simply obliging.

And it wasn’t until he got SO mad that day that i realized that maybe he started doing it for me and because i asked, but by the time we ‘called it quits’ he was really doing it because he wanted to. But then it felt like it was just too late.

i had screwed up and it was what it was. You made your bed, so lie in it. And accept it. And be happy too! Except i wasn’t happy.

So when i initiated the text, that was when truly we started talking again too.

The first thing he really said to me about everything was, “Short of abusing you by forcing you to accept punishments that I deem necessary, this doesn’t work. And in the process, I feel as if you are just playing at this and not being submissive at all. So when you choose to stop playing, I’m left feeling betrayed for having believed this was real.”

Wow. That really opened my eyes! i know that the sub has a lot of power to accept or deny a Dom’s authority. But i never really thought about how it would (figuratively) castrate him if i “just stop”, and especially in grand form the way i did!

So – i apologized. Profusely.

And we talked about ‘if this ever happens again’ what would i tell and suggest that Sir do in the future if this ever happen again. Well, since i’ve had a LOT (4-months now) of time to think about this, i actually had an answer.

i told him, “Ignore me. Completely. Do not speak to me at all, except to say, ‘Are you ready to accept the punishment that you know you deserve now?’

And i went on to say, “if you ignore me and do NOT speak to me, even if it takes days, i know i will come around. i may be stubborn as all get out and take that long, but i will change and accept my punishment properly. And while sitting here now i’d like to say this won’t ever be a problem again, i can’t be certain. But what i am certain of is i love who we are when you are my HoH and i submit! So i DO want this!”

His response, “I can do that.” (And i know he will!)

He then asked, “But truly …What IF you decide you really don’t want to do DD or HoH anymore?” My response was easy, “i know i won’t ever NOT want this….as i’ve missed you and our ways so much in these months. But ‘if’ i ever decide that, we will talk about it when we aren’t dealing with a punishment situation and with level-heads. And we won’t talk about it until after i accept the punishment that i refused. Either way, it won’t happen until we are past that situation and able to talk properly. i am willing to write that down now on paper if need be.” (He said to blog about it…. so i am! lol).

So today – January 6, 2020 – is our anniversary and we have now been married for 19-years. i know the next (however many) years ahead will be WAY better than the last ones because we have a new (permanent!) way of doing things.

A way that works. A way that i’ve learned i need in my life and i need Sir to be the one i do it with. And i’m happy…. again.

And that’s when i got spanked for the original punishment….. for masturbating without permission or approval. I’ll talk more about how that went in the next post!

Hugs,

Marie

39 – Domestic Discipline- in life

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Marriage, Submission. No Comments on 39 – Domestic Discipline- in life

For all you sex and spanking fans, this will be boring.

For all you Domestic Discipline fans, this might be insightful.

i know i mostly talk all about how our lifestyle revolves around “sex” and sex- related stuff. But it really isn’t just about that. It’s how our lifestyle is.

But i have come to realize that if i were in charge, things would be much stricter than they are. i’m not sure if Sir is just being a “good southern gentleman” or if he’s “shy” to take control or if he just doesn’t want to take control or maybe he just doesn’t think like me.

i asked him about this today and he said, “I don’t think you know what you are asking for.” But i think i do! i’m asking him to lead our marriage, to be the lead of our house, and ultimately me. In exchange, i respect, obey, and submit. In ALL things… sex and otherwise. Seems simple enough to me.

So here’s two examples of what happened just today …. i will tell you what happened AND what would have happened, had our roles been reversed.

Real life Example 1 – what did happen:

We like to play golf. Tomorrow we are going to play together. As of today, i have been braless for exactly one whole week. (Because i got my bras taken away last week when i didn’t have it off at 5:22 pm after work). And i TOLD David “i can’t play golf without a bra. It will hurt too much”

His response was, “hmm”.

Real life example 1 – what would’ve happened if our roles were reversed:

His response would’ve gone like this…. “excuse me? You have a rule that states ‘no bra when not mon-fri, 8-5, and tomorrow is a Saturday! So you have another thing coming if you think you can TELL me you are wearing one tomorrow! So you screwed up twice now… one by wanting to break a rule and two by telling me. Had you asked, I’d probably have understood your request and conceded. But now, you will absolutely NOT be wearing a bra! And maybe next time, you’ll think of how to word that to me in a way that is a respectful tone and in the form of a question with a ‘please Sir’ at the end. Do you understand me?”

And of course, i would be saying, “yes Sir, i am sorry Sir. i was clearly out of line Sir.”

And he would then respond with, “I’m not at all surprised to hear you apologize, but you will now be punished for your indiscretions. Get naked and assume the position.” (And prepare to be spanked, and to be followed up with standing in the corner for an indeterminable amount of time, until I decide otherwise!)

Real life example 2 – what did happen:

At 4:50, i got a text, “when home?” (And just to let YOU know …. today is a Friday and i NEVER work late on Friday’s. i truly believe i “have” to leave on time on Friday’s. i don’t know why, but i definitely have this “thing” about leaving on time on Friday’s).

So my response was, “10-minutes”.

Sir said, “ok, great. Can you stop and buy mozzarella cheese?”

Now the next thing you should know is that David cooks, and i clean. He was home cooking dinner when he sent those texts.

Real life example 2 – what would’ve happened if i were in charge:

“Because you WILL be leaving in 10-minutes, you need to stop to buy mozzarella cheese on the way home. Don’t forget.”

Now i don’t know about you, but the first example seems a bit more extreme to me than the second. But in both cases, i feel that i was disrespectful to Sir and he allowed it. i didn’t mean to be disrespectful, but like anyone, if allowed to do things inappropriate…. we do.

But just like a child, they need to be trained in the ways you want them to be. And if you allow them to treat you with dishonor, disrespect, and no submission at all…. well…. they won’t. And quite often, it becomes “who they are” and the way they do the things they do. And it becomes “normal.”

To a large degree, that’s how i am. We’ve been together for over 20-years (most of it married, but not all), and now, after finding DD only a year ago… my ways are dying hard. And David thinks i “don’t know what i’m really asking for”.

But i disagree with Sir. i think i know exactly what i am asking for and what i truly want. And i told him so too.

He responded with, “I’ll think about it. But you are not in control in the end!”

So we shall see.

Are you submissive? Have you asked for MORE? Did you regret it?

Hugs,

Marie

32 – out in public on high beam.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Braless, Marriage, My Dominant Sir, Uncategorized. No Comments on 32 – out in public on high beam.

So i really thought i was going to embrace the braless thing. i really thought it would be good. i even thought i had an inner exhibitionism side.

A week in, and i can tell you i don’t.

Well, let me clarify… i LOVE doing as i’m directed and i love being braless….. AT HOME.

Out in public: BIG FAT NO!

Tonight we went to a relatively nice, sit down restaurant. And my nipples were out on high beam. With our son sitting beside me. So right there, i was uncomfortable.

David says, “he’s a boy and needs to know women can be sexy”. But “women” and “your mom” are NOT the same! And to that, he responded with, “you are his mom, yes, but also my wife!”

And as if it couldn’t be any worse…. low and behold… we see people we know! (Geez!). Well, i pretend i don’t see them at first, but that did no good because Sir DID see them and he went to say hello. To which he made me also go and be social too.

So here they are, sitting down and here i am, standing up. EYE level with my boobs. 👀

They of course made no mention of it, in fact, quite the opposite….telling me how great it is to see me. (ALL of me is all i can really think!)

i tried hard to “act normal”, but what ultimately happens when you are acting? Well, if you are an actor in the theaters, it looks normal, but for the rest of us… it looks strange. Very strange.

But it was at that moment that i knew this wasn’t my thing. But it was also at that moment that Sir knew it WAS his. He smiled big. i made him happy.

So i guess this IS my thing…because it is his thing… which makes it my thing.

i guess i need to learn to submit more willingly. 🤔. Ok, Maybe tomorrow. 🤣. At least now we are home and the girls can hang freely and happily without being “seen”.

Hugs,

Marie

27 – i got what i wanted.. spanked

Written by Marie on . Posted in Marriage, Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 27 – i got what i wanted.. spanked

Sometimes i think the idea of something is better than the real deal. Sometimes i know it’s for my own good. i’m not sure where this falls on the spectrum.

But i did get what i asked for…. spanked.

In terms of spankings intensity, this was very low in reality… but that’s all it took. It hurt! My butt was SO out of (spanking) shape, this hurt in a hurry!

Sir just took his time, swats all over my ass, and i jumped all over the place. That didn’t make him the least bit happy. So he kept going. And my butt got redder and redder. And tender. And hot.

And he said “are you going to be able to sit down?”

And I said “yes”

So he kept going.

Tears were starting to leak out of my eyes. i really wanted to beg for him to stop, but i had just (begged) for him to do this … and in my mind, i needed to yield to his authority. So i needed to let him tear up my ass as much as he wanted to.

And then it ended. And while it was a relief at that moment, not even 10-minutes later, i was craving more.

i feared that after such a long break from the DD lifestyle, that i’d get it back and really not want it after all. But … it was like a homecoming.

i welcome the next one and i hope my tears flow much more fluidly and thoroughly.

Hugs,

Marie