284 – The Chastity Belt Logistics
This chastity belt below is the belt that i currently wear. It’s cute. It works. But I’m really more excited about the fancy one I’m waiting for – the fancy stainless steel chastity belt I have on order.
And this picture below is of the Fancy steel Chastity Belt… the more durable/permanent one i have on order. This one’s made to order, fits to several specific measurements, and is generally a much higher-quality chastity belt. However – it’s an investment. Luckily, i found this less expensive and still perfectly good chastity belt that gave the belt and i the chance to get to know one another before deciding to make the bigger investment on a high-quality fitted belt.
It is substantially the same in style, but made and personalized to fit my specific measurements.
At Matthew’s request (thanks again for inquiring), i am going to write about ….. all the logistics of wearing my chastity belt, including how it fits, how much comfort it is, and especially hygiene.
i never really have written about this as i didn’t think anyone would care to read it. And for myself, even when i don’t think you may care, i write about stuff that i may want to look back and reflect upon, which usually entails my feelings or opinions about something at that time, rather than logistical things such as this. But since Matthew asked… i must be wrong and well…. here goes.
Overall
When i wear the Chastity Belt, it starts to feel a part of me. i have thought about whether it is more of something that i put on, like underwear or is it more of something that is attached to me, like say hair. Wearing a g-string or thong pair of panties is what it looks and feels like, albeit my chastity belt is bigger and made of hard metal not soft cotton (or whatever). But when it is locked on and especially when i do not have the key, it starts to resemble something more of like the hair on my head that is attached but (somewhat) still separate too.
i haven’t been able to definitively say whether i think the chastity belt is more like panties or like hair, as it resembles both in different ways and at different times.
i will also say that i have a love/hate relationship with it. When i don’t wear it for awhile, i miss it. But when i have to wear it nonstop (like this recent week), i want to be rid of it. It’s probably like the saying that Shakespeare is credited with of “too much of a good thing can get harmful.” While the chastity belt isn’t exactly “harmful,” i only really want to wear it in small doses too. But that’s all about to change.. more on that later.
So without further ado ….
Purpose – why do I wear a chastity belt?
i want to explain WHY i asked my husband permission to wear a chastity belt in the first place. (YES, i asked!)
David never really wanted me to have or wear a belt. It was my idea. While he’s now come around and sees the benefits of it, he was initially disgusted and annoyed that i had little to no self-control. He didn’t think a “crutch” should be needed to help me be compliant and to follow the rule of: NO TOUCHING AND/OR NO ORGASM WITHOUT PERMISSION.
He wanted me to have better self control. And while it did improve, it wasn’t great. i still snuck into our bedroom or closet or even in the bathroom and rubbed one out. Then i felt guilty. Then i told him. Then i got punished. Then the real pain set in…. of seeing his disappointment… this caused sadness. And i went down an emotional negative roller coaster of not being enough, self degradation of “why can’t i just do as I am expected to?”, and “why can’t i be good”…… Then i would promise to do better.
And i would repeat the bad behavior. Albeit usually “less.” While the bad behavior lessened, it still happened, especially when he was out of town for any period of time.
That was when i asked for a chastity belt. If you can’t prevent bad behavior from using after-the-fact discipline, maybe you can prevent the bad behavior from happening before-the-fact. If it’s literally prevented from happening at all, the disappointment, frustration, guilt, sadness, inadequacies and discipline can ALL be avoided! Which leaves only joy and happiness when the belt comes off and when Sir’s touch (hands tongue, or cock) comes together with my pussy.
At least that was my thought anyway. While David disagreed and said i should have better mental staying power, i didn’t. And he eventually conceded to allow it. Now after getting the belt, he actually agrees (more) and sees the benefits too. (But he stills wants me to have better self control too.)
We had previously (jointly) decided that i would only orgasm with his permission or at his doing. i would not touch myself or have orgasms otherwise. Ever.
We had decided this and put the rule in place because over all the years of our marriage, like anyone who masturbates, i had perfected it. To the point, i didn’t care much to have him get me off in any form or fashion. That was bad as then i didn’t care to have sexual relations of any kind with him. Or when i did, i was of the mindset, “can you just hurry up and finish yourself so i can finish myself the way i like?” And regularly, i didn’t want to have sex with him at all because he wasn’t my “preferred lover.” In a sense, you could say i was cheating on him with myself.
That had to change. i knew it. He knew it. So with D/s, this was one of the first things we set out to improve. Our sex life. Now… He gives me a LOT of orgasms. While i am not allowed to do it of my own accord, i don’t lack for satisfaction either. In addition, i now look forward to seeing him, loving on him, dressing sexy for him, and … having orgasms by his hand or cock or tongue. (Okay, i am getting wet as i write that! THAT would never have happened before!)
How my chastity belt fits
It’s probably worthwhile to speak on this as it goes a long way to explaining the rest of things below also.
The belt fits snuggly on my hips and even more so between my legs to cover my crotch. Overall though it’s neither tight nor is it lose, but snug. Very snug!
Similar to say a fitted pair of jeans, that’s about how the chastity belt fits too. Snug and firmly touching my body, but not restrictive nor causing pain and difficulty walking/talking/ or breathing either.
Fitted jeans are snug on almost every part of your body where it touches from your waist all the way down to your ankles. If you put your shoes on first, you likely couldn’t get your jeans on second and would end up needing to take your shoes off and starting over. Similarly fitted jeans —- and a CB — are fitted.
Starting with the waistband, it fits snugly enough to not move (much), but not so tight that anything feels smashed in. i have no issues with breathing or any internal problems (like my intestines working to create waste and feces). In other words: i have no pain from the chastity belt.
The waist band part of my chastity belt is similar to wearing any other belt on your waistline where i can stick my finger between the belt and my waist. i can’t get two fingers in there without sucking in my breath and my waistline, and of course, even if i do that it would be a short lived event when i breath again!
In the crotch area, it fits even more snuggly than the waist. It needs to be a bit tighter there for two reasons: 1) to restrict access, and 2) to not rub or chafe.
When i first got it, i had it a bit too lose there. (Yes, the chastity belt is adjustable with a screw driver and Allen wrench). And it chafed the upper inside part of my thighs. The part RIGHT where your thigh and outer sides of your labia/pussy can touch. When i tightened the belt, the chafing stopped as it was held in place and was not able to move or slip around as i walk. It felt a lot better being tighter than loser, believe it or not.
So all in all, my chastity belt is fitted tightly, but not too tightly, to do its job but not restrict me from walking-talking-breathing or any other similar activity. i have found it’s easy to exercise in it too. While i don’t do real strenuous or difficult exercises, i can walk and run in it without issue. And i have and do these things without problems while in the belt.
Unlike a pair of fitted jeans, if my chastity belt was not fitted it would not do its job. That job being to restrict access to my pussy by me or anyone else for penetration and/or masturbation. Because i have never achieved orgasm without being touched with something on or in my pussy, it forces abstinence also.
Access
Now that said, can i still touch myself?? Yes. But only a little bit. Not enough to break the rules either. Let me explain.
When i stretch my legs wideeeeee open while squatting down, like say a sumo wrestler, i can put one finger inside the waist band and press it outward, where i can then manage to get a finger from my other hand under the chastityt belt crotch band and touch my pussy.
My finger can only touch the left side only, and then i can repeat it for the right side. This is NOT a comfortable position (and not enough touch/sensation to even want to try to get myself to orgasm) but it IS useful to be able to clean myself. (More on the cleaning part below.)
But. My finger is wedged in there, my legs are as wide as i can possibly make them and i am standing in a squatting position. Not to mention, my finger still gets caught up in my labia lips (as there just isn’t a lot of room) and not truly all the way to my pussy hole.
i have tried pressing my finger further inward, and it (very painfully) pinched my labia lips as it folded over on itself and the outer edge of my finger scrapped against the inside of the metal CB, taking a slight layer of skin off my finger. It was like a carpet burn for several days and less than comfortable! i stopped that motion and never tried it again!
The chastity belt is comfortable
Just like thong underwear or hair on my head don’t hurt, neither does the CB.
Of course, sometimes our clothing needs adjustments as we wear it through the day. As i walk and/or sit, the belt slips around just a tiny bit.
While i am clearly not a man, i have been told that men’s balls sometimes get caught in the folds of their pants as they sit down. So they learn to pull up their pants at the crotch area to give a bit of slack as they sit and more room for their balls to fit nicely into that spot. So sitting in the chastity belt has done the same for me. As i sit, i have learned to pull up on the pants, press on the front of the CB and to move slowly. This gives room for the CB to ensure it slides into a comfortable position as I end at the waist, so that my labia lips don’t get pinched inside the CB. This took awhile to learn, but now i can do it seamlessly.
Just like panties, at some point the feeling and awareness of having them on dissipates, so is the same for my belt. Like right now, as i type this, there is just one spot (probably only a single inch of it) on the waistband that must be a bit tight in the way i am sitting that i can feel. Otherwise, i can’t “feel” it despite it being in constant contact with my body. It is truly comfortable in that way.
i honestly like feeling a bit uncomfortable in it though too. Like the single inch i am aware of on the waistband at the moment that i can feel, keeps my mind in the here and now. It reminds me i DO have it on and i have it on for a reason.
So sometimes it is slightly uncomfortable too, but i actually think that’s a good thing. It’s not so uncomfortable that it hurts, but only so much that i am aware of its existence. And it makes me mentally reminded who i submit to and why! (And yearn to be allowed release from the CB and be allowed an orgasmic release too!)
Bathroom
i suspect this is the part you really care about and i wouldn’t be surprised if you skipped ahead to read just this alone! That’s cool.
When i have access to the key, i just take the belt off for bathroom breaks as that’s much easier and simpler. Realistically though, having the key sort of defeats the purpose of having the CB which is to restrict access. While wearing the CB at anytime does make access more challenging and even front of mind, when i have the key i could take it off and play with myself … or let someone else play with me …. anytime i truly wanted. So i ultimately prefer to NOT have the key!
And when i have to use the bathroom with the belt on, i manage just fine but it is more of a process too.
TO URINATE i sit down, spread my legs wide where one leg is literally on each side of the toilet bowl. Then i put my one finger inside the very top of the belt to press it slightly forward giving a bit of extra “space” down there, and release the urine.A close up of the shield and the urine holes on the belt i currently wear.
Because there are holes in the front shield that covers my pussy, most of the urine comes out the holes, but some urine does also come out the sides too. That’s why i sit with legs very wide open, to allow that urine the space to drip out too.This is what the shield looks like on the Fancy Steel belt too. As you can see, the holes allow for easy urination to flow right through.
But some urine does get trapped inside the belt. This is where, if i am home, i have a water bottle beside the toilet that i use to squirt water down inside the belt and onto my puss. (Man is that some cold water too!). The added water forces the remaining urine to be washed out.
This is also where wiping becomes extra important and a bit of challenge too. First i wipe all along the left/right edges. Then i take another bit of toilet paper and press it inside and under the belt on either side. (Remember above when i said i can press a single finger on either side but it’s not enough to get past my labia lips and pleasure myself…..) This is where that small bit of space isn’t big enough to get my fingers really inside the belt, but paper is thinner and can effectively be pressed deeper between my pussy and the CB. i repeat this on both sides.
Lastly, i swipe the outer edges of the belt itself, in case any urine is lingering on the outside. This is the same as i would swipe my pussy if i was not wearing the belt.
Finally. When i am at home, i go and stand in front of our floor length fan in the bedroom, with my legs spread wide to allow the fan to air dry myself even further. This helps to ensure i truly get dry, which will prevent any yeast infections from happening but also to just get things all dry to not drip too.
All of this is a process for sure which is why i would prefer to NOT urinate in the chastity belt, but it happens. i have learned better bladder control now and i can hold it longer. (Not so long i could end up with a bladder infection, but i have strengthened my bladder muscles too. That’s a good thing!)
TO HAVE A BOWEL MOVEMENT is actually easier than urination, believe it or not! The belt has a metal circle ring in the back that is about 2’ish inches wide and long. i haven’t measured it exactly but that’s my guesstimation.
When i sit down on the toilet, similar to urinating, i open my legs wide where one leg is on either side of the bowl. i pull each butt cheek “apart.” This lets the belt’s metal hole get really wedged into my butt cheeks. This serves to line up the chastity belt hole RIGHT up against my anal hole. Plus, the belt effectively holds my butt cheeks open too.
i then stick a finger down to my anal hole to ensure it truly is aligned with the CB hole. It always is though but i like to be sure too.
And i poop. The same as always. To date, i have never NOT hit the hole. i have never had a mess or problem with the belt getting filthy at all. i honestly think missing the hole would be quite difficult actually as the hole is rather big.
And because the hole is big enough for the poop to pass through, as you can imagine, it’s big enough to wipe pretty well also. As well, with the CB hole wedged between my butt cheeks, the leftover poop is JUST on my anus hole and not on my butt cheeks or the CB. It just works well.
Showering
Showering is super easy. It’s substantially the same as always but … with my belt on. i know that sounds like i am being cheeky, but it isn’t intended to be.
Because the chastity belt is metal, it is water proof so water is of no consequence.
The lock used on the belt that i currently wear is not water proof, so i cover it up to take a shower. If it were to get wet and not be dried off, it would eventually rust. The snack-size ziplock bags work really well for this but of course, any covering works. And if i were to forget to cover it, as long as i dry it off, it should be fine.
When i get to washing my puss and anal hole, i lather soap into my hand and assume the sumo-wrestler position mentioned above. And i press one finger inward under the belt, while the other hand holds it outward from the waist hand as much as possible. And repeat on the other side. And then repeat to wipe all around the belt edges around my waist too.
Then to rinse, i take down the shower head, as it is a removable head, and i put the water right up onto my pussy. Just as the urine comes out of the holes on the front of the shield, the water (and soap) goes in and out as i move the shower head all around too.
i won’t lie, this tends to significantly arouse me, as the water is warm, super soft, touching my pussy. It’s the only stimulation my pussy gets, but it loves it too! In addition to being sit,usages, i generally become frustrated too, as i can’t ever get to orgasm with just edging from the water!
Sleeping with a chastity belt
Sleeping the first few nights was a challenge, but now is easy. the only reason it was a challenge was that my mind wouldn’t settle down. It was something new and at first i worried about the safety of doing it, but then i was just turned on and had to ignore it.
It isn’t really hard to get comfortable at all, since the CB is generally comfortable anyway. Now, it is what it is and it’s just no-big-deal.
The ability to hide my chastity belt under my clothes
I have literally worn every-single-thing in my wardrobe exact,y the same as i always do without a single issue!
No one can see anything, including myself.
That’s likely because the CB is fitted so closely to my body, and it is super thin, that you just can’t see it.
Ability to orgasm
In a nutshell: i can’t!
i can’t touch myself “enough” with the CB on to be successful to masturbate or orgasm. i can’t get anything (other than water) inside the holes, and that’s not enough either.
Mental
And WHY exactly do we want all this? Because it forces me to rely solely upon my husband for my sexual happiness and joy. It forces me to be keenly aware of who is in charge and who has control. It gives him mental and physical power over me.
The chastity belt creates a position of being MORE than just speaking the words, “i am your submissive wife and you are my Dominant in control.”
We talk more, we spend more time together, and we are more connected.
And…. i am able to eliminate all the negativity around “trying to be good and follow he rules,” while failing to have self control.
It literally gives him the key to (my heart and) my sex…. Which is entirely his to use or not… Which he does…. Which makes us both very happy.
This is working well for us.
So now you know. Now maybe you see that wearing the chastity belt is not terribly difficult to navigate but does require some changes to hygiene patterns. But clearly not impossible at all either. My hygiene is not compromised at all. And “if” it ever becomes an issue, i will “call red” and get out of the belt to get healthy again too.
My Sir loves and respects me, as i him.
While wearing the chastity belt is nowhere near a “normal activity,” for most women, this is a good thing for us. And i am happy about this.
Hugs,
Marie
chastity belt, chastity belt logistics, d/s marriage, orgasm control, submission, submissive wife
matthew
Has anyone ever found out you wear a chastity belt that you did not intend to know?
Marie
Matthew,
Nope! I almost wish someone had. It feels like a super big secret that I sometimes burst at the seams to let someone know. No one has seen it, knows about it, or otherwise even suspects, (or if they do suspect, they’ve given me NO indication… not even a second glance or a strange look).
I think that’s mostly because it truly does fit well under clothing and it is just NOT noticeable.
Once I told David, “I really want to tell someone about it.” And his response was, “No. You don’t and you won’t. You wouldn’t tell someone you had panties on… and the CB are just steel panties…. That no one needs to know about.” So it’s a secret.
I kinda hope to (one day) do something like say go to the beach with a bikini on over the CB. It will show then just because the waist band would hit me at a different angle as the bikini bottom. And then watch the people’s faces when they see it. I kinda don’t think: 1) people would notice because people are oblivious to their surroundings and/or 2) would know what it was when they did see it.
Hugs, Marie
matthew
Well this was more interesting then I thought it would be. I love the descriptions of how you use the bathroom there is something about all the extra steps you have to go through to do a otherwise normal body function paints such a submissive picture. Since it makes your submission creel into all aspects of your life. I currently have rules for how my GF is allowed to urinate and have bowel movements and they really help enforce a submissive mindset in her. One last question do you keep David’s pussy shaven and if so I’m assuming you shave when you can get the belt off?
Marie
Matthew, thank you for the read and the comments. Yes, this pussy is shaved. Of course it can’t happen with the belt on, but as soon as it comes off, I shave off all the hair again in the next shower I take. Can I ask you a question…. Any thoughts now of having your GF start wearing a chastity belt? It’s ok to say no. I was just curious. Hugs, Marie
matthew
I’m very much considering getting one for her. It would almost certainly be for discipline purposes as apposed to being for daily wear. She has no real interest in wearing it but that’s part of the reason I like it. So time will tell. She’s also currently being transitioned to no being allowed to wear pants or leggings and going dresses and skirts only and I want to get her good and settled into that before anything else is added
joan
Thank you so much for this, I have learnt so much.
I have been going round and around CB for a long time and you have cleared up so many of the details that I just could not get information on. It’s not the subject that comes up when meeting family and friends.
I think wearing one will demonstrate my commitment to my Dom, and now I am more comfortable with the details we can discuss it, or I may just get one and hand him the key.
Marie
Hi Joan,
Thank you for your comments. I’m glad I could help. If you have questions that weren’t answered, feel free to ask here or you can email me too. I won’t lie, wearing a CB is a commitment and takes time to adjust to (don’t think you can put it on and never take it off), but it’s worth it (IMO). ❤️
Hugs,
Marie
matthew
Probably my last question on this. What’s the one time other than to just masterbate that you wish you could have taken your belt off and couldn’t?
Marie
Matthew, you can ask as many questions as you want or have. I enjoy the interaction.
Sometimes the CB starts to chafe or feel too tight. Even though it’s not typically either of those, from time to time, it does. Chafing is probably caused from not getting myself completely dry after urinating or a shower and tightness comes from body swelling (say not drinking enough or eating too much).
David has always allowed me to use the key when I explain what and why. But he always makes sure I truly NEED it and am not making stuff up as an excuse to use the key too. (Kinda like calling yellow or red… it better be for real.)
But when he’s out of town and I don’t have the key, and the chafing/ tightness happens overnight, when he’s asleep and I can’t ask him where it is to be allowed to use it, is when I’ve not been able to take it off but wished I could.
That’s when I’ve gotten creative with the CB. I have found ways to deal with the chafing, but alas, not much helps with the tightness. That said, it’s never been so tight it hurt for bodily functions (breathing mainly!) because if it did, I’d wake David up! But for chafing, especially where my thighs come together with the sides of my puss (like where the edge of a panty,I’ve would be), I’ve learned to put a pillow between my legs to sleep. It separates them and reduces the friction. I’ve used paper towels or hand towels stuffed into the edges to give “cushion” there too.
I truly don’t anticipate the Fancy Steel (custom made to my measurements) will chafe much, if at all ever though. The Chinese one does that as, while it’s adjustable, it’s just not able to be “that” fitted too. I’m hopeful it will ship from the seller/manufacturer this week, at least that was the latest update they gave me. Fingers crossed.
Marie
matthew
Is there something about wearing and living with the belt that’s completely different than you thought it would be before owning it?
Marie
Matthew,
The only thing that sort of comes close to something I didn’t expect beforehand is how I feel about it…. Sometimes I am surprised at how much I want to wear it and am proud to be locked by my husband… and then how quickly I flip to truly wanting it off and mad that I can’t have it off. I never anticipated the gymnastics that my mind would take. But I think I’m (kinda) starting to get past that now…. I’ll know for sure the next time David leaves me in it for a few conservative days at a time! What other questions you got? These are really good! Marie.
matthew
This is one from my GF does the metal ever get cold against your skin? She’s asking this because she has to be nude in our home most of the time does not want cold metal against her skin
Marie
Great question too! I am usually nude in our house also and sometimes the air just makes me chilly. But then when i put on the CB, I warm right up as it takes on my body heat that I didn’t even fully realize i had!
But…..The first 30-seconds of putting it on is always cringe-worthy-cold. And then it warms right up. It then stays pretty much the same temp as your body thereafter.
We have a hot tub but I’ve never gone in it with the CB on. I’ve read that it can get super hot with that hot water surrounding you/it, and it can burn your skin if you aren’t careful but I’ve not tried it out for myself as it scared me and David agreed no reason to try that out. (Don’t want a burnt puss!)
matthew
I know I’ve said this before but other than this I can’t think of anything else. Do you think anal sex with be possible thought he back opening this is not something I would likely ever want to do but just curious
Marie
Matthew,
It’s okay to ask tons of Q’s… like I previously mentioned, I enjoy the interactions! All good!
We do anal sex, but admittedly have not tried or done it with the CB on.
I’ve read other blogs from submissive women who wear a CB who have blogged about it. So I know it is possible and the hole is certainly big enough. Although one post I read reported that he did not care to do it. I tried to find one of the post about it, but was not successful, so now I’m writing from memory and may not quite have it fully factual. She said when he goes slow and methodical, it works well. But when he wants to fuck her hard and fast, it’s more of a challenge. That’s because the CB metal is rigid and unforgiving, so when you go hard and fast, you may not be too terribly exacting in your space and movements causing your cock to bang into and come up against the edges of the hole too. That anal sex is much simpler and less work (mental and physical) to take the belt off. Plus, he “dips” his cock in her puss to get lubed up and then uses that to fuck her ass with, so anal sex without the belt was preferred. Instead of the anal sex with the CB on, many people use an anal plug to stretch the hole and prepare it when the CB comes off.
Hope that makes sense and again, only reporting 2nd hand knowledge on this one. . Hugs, Marie
joan
Thank you Matthew for that question and Marie for the answer, I could not work out why Anal sex was available when wearing a CB. Of course the original purpose was so that a man knew when his women was pregnant it was his child as he had the key so anal was more acceptable.
But now that I know that it can be painful for the man then it would obviously be a deterrent.
Thank you, this blog has cleared up so much for me.
matthew
I hope your still answering questions on this post because my girlfriend had another question. Do you think having being having completely unshaven genitals would make it too difficult to clean after using the bathroom?
Marie
Of course I’m still answering any question you (or your GF) have. I’m not completely sure of my answer because I am completely shaved all the time (except when I’m locked and can’t shave it). But….I don’t think it would matter. I don’t think it would have any impact or change at all to have hair or not. If your GF gets a CB and you find out otherwise, let me know. ☺️
matthew
Thanks again for answering I’m very close to pulling the trigger on getting one it will just be for discipline purposes though masterbation is a big part of her daily routine and neither her or I want to change that. But in terms of punishment I think it will work wonders on her
Mary Wood
Thank you for taking so much of your time and describing everything in such detail. I think even those who do not wear and are not going to wear a chastity belt found in your article a lot of interesting things for themselves.
Marie
Mary, thanks for telling me this. ❤️ Marie
Undeniably Anonymous
This is reminding me of the older generation’s preoccupation with “always wear clean underwear when you leave the house, in case you get in a car accident and the ambulance people see you in dirty underwear.”
I’m just imagining this scenario now, but replace “unclean underwear” with “chastity belt.”
“Roger, we need to give this woman an MRI to rule out internal injuries, but she has METAL strapped around her waste and uh…other areas.”
“Is it a chastity belt, Bill?”
“How the hell should I know? A chastity belt? What is that? Is that part of the weird crap you do with your wife you were telling me about?”
“Never mind. Sounds like a chastity belt. Did you get her husband on the way? He’ll have the key.”
Marie
. You made me laugh SO hard.
Butttttt….. could very well happen to me sometime! And if it does, I’ll be sure to let you know how well you predicted it too!
Thanks for the humor!
Hugs, Marie