Day 11: My Submissiveness

Day 11: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT…ethics of kink?

i think safe, sane, and consenting are three words that should always be a part of every relationship, but especially in a kinky one. And no one should have to compromise those three things. Ever.

Beyond that though, i don’t know if the question was intended the way i am thinking here, but if i were to think deeper….

We have had sex with others. We mostly do it like a swinger situation, with everyone in the same room but not always. i love seeing David make another woman happy. And he typically positions himself where we have eye contact and he stares into my eyes. And he sees my reactions. And on the rare occasion i have had trouble with what i’ve seen, he reads my reactions well and he changes it up to make me happy!

i don’t really remember the last time though that we have been with AnYoNe else…because …well…it’s really been that long ago. We haven’t sworn off others, so much as life just gets in the way. And now given COVID, who knows if-when that might ever happen. And i’m ok with that too.

****** i want to add that after having been a cheated-on wife, and me feeling betrayed…. we NEVER do ANYTHING with anyone else that their spouse isn’t aware. And i KNOW the spouse is aware by talking to them about it too (or they are actually included at the time too). i refuse to be that person who hated when it was done to me… and now would be doing it to someone else! The only exception may be if they have a spouse and didn’t even tell us. Which to date, hasn’t happened, that i am aware of. But if we were to find ourselves in that position, i would 1) break it off with the person and/or 2) go directly to that spouse to tell them what’s happened. Cheating on someone’s spouse isn’t acceptable. (How’s that for ethics?)

Blue Bell Ice cream has a saying/slogan, “we eat all we can, and we sell the rest.” They literally hire employees and say, “eat as much as you want for free. It’s a perk of the company”. Why do they do that? Because before they allowed it, employees would steal it. After they opened it up and embraced it, employees eat ice cream for about a week and the novelty wears off and no one eats (much of) it after that.

So like Blue Bell, we have more or less adopted this approach for our marriage…. you can’t “cheat” on your spouse if you are doing it openly and together. And like everything in a kinky relationship, or really ANY relationship, we have talked about this. As long as we come home together, we enjoy this time together.

Why do we do this? Well… it’s sexy. It’s fun. And in the end, it keeps us together. We completely trust that we will be coming home together and we LOVE each other and spending time together.

i have thought before… what’s the difference between having sex with others with my husband… OR……going to a football game with my husband? Or going to a rock concert? Or playing golf? Or going on vacation together?

If you don’t get too deep into this… (seriously don’t overthink this here…. go here instead! Lol!)….. it is simply spending time together, doing something fun together, and being open/honest with one another.

i am secure enough in our relationship to know that we will always be together, that our love runs very deep, and now with DD we have a way of dealing with things that works when everything seems like it’s not.

So for what it’s worth… i am a safe, sane, and consenting (spanked, submissive) wife. And i’m all good with this!




  1. Very good written post. It will be beneficial to anyone who employess it, as well as yours truly :). Keep doing what you are doing – looking forward to more posts.

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