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75 – handyman, i am NOT!

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 75 – handyman, i am NOT!

We have a reverse osmosis water filtration system (that’s a mouthful!) to filter our drinking water. The main tank and pump are housed under our kitchen sink island.

Every so often we have to replace the filters to keep the water flowing properly, otherwise the water pressure dwindles to (basically) nothing. We did that this past weekend but the water pressure did not immediately return the way it has in the past.

David told me to call the people who installed it and schedule them to come out.

(Mistake number 1 – right here – i should’ve JUST scheduled it. But i didn’t)

So i called yesterday. The tech lady asked a few questions and told me the “tank needs to be disconnected and emptied, then use a bicycle pump to put in 8-10 psi, reconnect it and should be good to go.”

i said, “oh that sounds a bit past my expertise”

(if only i’d have stopped there! And done as i was told and scheduled the tech to come fix it)

She tells me, “Oh it’s really not hard at all.” And in short time, convinces me too.

i hang up. i tell David. He said (and i do quote!), “you should just schedule them to come do this. I don’t think this is a good idea. Too much can go wrong.”

(And if i’d only stopped T-H-E-R-E!…. but oh no…. i didn’t!)

i told David how easy it was, what the tech had told me, i even googled it to see how “right” she was, watched a YouTube video. And David said, “well, if you want to…..”

Then he told me, “if it works, you can cum sooner than the 7-days! But if it doesn’t…..” (and he smirked)

(Challenge accepted. Game on. Finish line… here-i-CUM!!)

So i went to work, all in all, i thought i succeeded. With just one teensy little concern….. when i turned the water valve to the “on” position, it made a fizzing sound like when you open a bottle of soda for the first time. Neither the tech nor the video made any mention of this.

But now we simply had to wait 2-4 hours for the water tank to do its thing, fill up, etc. Nothing to do really except wait and see.

So because i started this at almost 7pm, i wouldn’t know if it worked until close to bedtime. And because of my edging assignment, (can’t cum until i know this has proven successful!), i went to the bedroom to do so.

And i stayed there afterward, readied for bed, read, turned out the light and went to sleep.

(This is one more opportunity to have possibly changed the outcome. If i had at least gone to check on it… the next part likely could’ve been avoided…. but no, i didn’t even do that much!)

This morning comes and i wake, as usual, 6am. i go straight to the kitchen to get coffee (zombie without it!). i don’t even turn the lights on, but the sun is coming up so it’s dark but not pitch black either.

And i stepped in water.

i flipped on the lights and there is about 1/2 – 1 inch of water covering the entire kitchen floor. (oh holy S@#%!!!!)

Well, David was in the front of the house and i walk in and say, “will you come help me please Sir?”

“With what?”

“The kitchen”

“I take it the tank-fix didn’t go well?”

“No Sir, most definitely not!”

And when he walked into the kitchen, in front of me, he said, “holy hell!”

And we went to work cleaning. He never yelled. He never even sounded mad. i think that was ONLY because we had to come together and get this cleaned up.

We saturated 8-towels, used 3-rolls of paper towels, and a shop vac. Now the water is off the floor – for what we can see. What we can’t see and don’t know is: 1) what is still under the wood floors that could cause warping or mold, 2) what is still under the island and could also cause mold.

When we were mostly done, he dressed and left to go play golf (previously planned). And gave me instructions on how to finish.

And just before he left he said, “next time, you’ll just schedule the handyman straight away, correct? You need to call and get it scheduled now too.”

“Yes Sir”

“Do you understand you screwed up?”

“Yes Sir”

“We will deal with this when I get home”

“Yes Sir”

So now, i sit here with the shop vac still going full force…..Trying to coerce the water to come out of the island as i type this out. i can only pray there are no ultimate lingering house-damaging problems from this!

While i accept the punishment that will ensue later today, i am dreading it too…. i know this spanking will be a serious punishment and pain. And it will likely cause me to cry. And i deserve it, and i will accept it. i likely will still feel it’s impact tomorrow on my rear side.

And now i have NO idea when cumming will be allowed either. i haven’t even mentioned that! There’s no point really! i won’t be surprised if the 7-days start over or are at least extended for some time to come.

There are so many places in this (unfortunately very true) story i could’ve changed this outcome. And i didn’t.

But here’s the positive…. because of DD, we are NOT fighting about this, we are working together on this, we are actually very much in sync on this, and we have a way to fix this and move on without resentment or ill will. When this frightful story does come to an end…. after the punishment today, the tech people come fix this properly, and we know there’s no lingering damage that remains…. it will be done. No future rehashing, throwing it up in my face, or fighting then about it either.

And for that, i am grateful.

(i will give you the last Memoir today…. or possibly tomorrow… i may not be allowed online the rest of today as another side of this punishment…. he knows i love to blog and taking it away today might be a punishment i have to accept)

Hugs,

Marie

72 – Memoir 1…. where did we start…in this D/s-DD relationship.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 72 – Memoir 1…. where did we start…in this D/s-DD relationship.

So here is me about to truly expose myself… ok, NO you aren’t going to SEE a picture of me, but you’ll likely see my soul in this post! But all that i have to say may take a few of these posts, so i’ll call this “Memoir 1” and i’m sure you’ll recognize when i get to the end.

i’ve been asked many times “how exactly did you find this lifestyle” and “how did you get started” and “who initiated this” and every combo of those questions imaginable.

My entire life has held a series of “suppressed sexual encounters”… as i’ve posted about some before already. But i never embraced it… “it” being the kinky/hot sex…. i never let it define me, i never owned it, or let ME be ok with it! Instead… i suppressed it, called it dirty, and sinful. Made excuses that “when that happened, i was (young, drunk, stupid, … fill in the blank). And basically i tried to believe i had been a bad girl then and was only a good girl when i was doing traditional, missionary, vanilla sex. And i tried to say “THIS is how God wants me to be! (Good …with vanilla sex with just my husband and no one else … ever again!)”

And it was boring.

To the point that David and i barely had any sexual encounters at all. We didn’t know how to really talk about it either. So we both ignored it. Basically acted like it didn’t matter…. but it did!

We successfully had a kid after a lot of help from infertility docs, so even getting PG was a “clinical” process! And then no other kids/siblings because i just wasn’t up for more “clinical” sex or procedures.

And when our kid was 7, David and i celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary. So we endured a lot of superficial communications and very little sex… and when we did have sex… it was boring. (Have i said how boring it was?! Neither of us had “fun” or “got off”. We both were just going through the motions…. like “good boys and girls” do!)

About 4’ish months after our anniversary, David had been out of town for work (which was a lot back then) and i was washing clothes. When i took the clothes out of the dryer……

Two movie tickets stubs fell out.

Contagion.

R-rated movie.

It wasn’t with me.

When i looked at the calendar, it was…

On a Monday night.

A night that he had told me he was out of town.

i went online to United trips and he was NOT out of town.

And i was in shock.

i texted him, “who did you go to see Contagion with on that Monday night??”

And i stared at my phone both wanting an answer… and not.

What came back was, “why?”

i said, “I deserve to know! Is it someone I know? Is it someone you love? Is it someone you want to be with?”

And he responded with, “Yes. Yes. No, because I love you.”

I texted him back, “make up your mind by the time you land tonight at 6. I’ll be waiting. Our son will be at my bff’s. Don’t text or call me until I see you.”

And he proceeded to blow up my phone …. to which i read, but didn’t respond…. begging mercy, telling me how much he loves me, he wants a better marriage, he wants to be with me, he wishes he hadn’t done it, blah, blah, blah….. i refused to answer it.

i sat on the couch… as the sun went down… and waited. And cried. And was heart broken, angry, sad, cried, hated AND loved him. and had NO idea what to do.

When he walked in, i had already taken our son away for the night, and the first words he said were, “we are not sexually compatible.”

There was clearly a “contagion” in our house alright…. i just wasn’t sure where or when the source originated exactly, how to eradicate it, or how to become immune to it! or if i just wanted to let it kill “us” (“us being our marriage) and be done with him.

i knew her…. very well…. in fact, i thought she was a friend. And he proceeded to tell me they had been together for a FULL YEAR.

Timeout….. if you think “every woman knows”, i am living proof … they don’t! Maybe they should, but they don’t! Oh i knew we weren’t great, but i thought this was how marriage was supposed to be…. kinda boring, but comfortable and easy …..but i never thought this was what we had become.

That’s when i asked him if he wanted a Divorce. He said, “No. I want change.”

And what came next…. you’d NEVER guess….. and NO, it wasn’t DD.

Everything i am talking about here happened 8-years ago. We only discovered DD 2-years ago….. so guess again…..

And i’ll leave you right THERE…. on the edge.... kinda like i am right now…. i mean, i just HAVE to share this frustrating experience with you too!! ……. (see last post – 21 times to change a habit if you haven’t already).

And speaking of edging…. this is Day 2…. and i am getting incredibly frustrated. David made me watch a 30-minute porn video last night and said i could start and stop as much i needed to, but i was to watch the entire thing while edging. And of course, NO orgasm. I barely succeeded!

And to add to it, today he texted me, “are you horny little girl?? Have you been a good girl??”

Yes Sir! To both……

Hugs,

Marie

69 – S is for Submission and Spanking. outside. AND. inside!

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This morning my in-laws left to return home. i expected that when David returned from dropping them at the airport, i would be “Assuming the Position” for the first real spanking since mid-May…. pre-car accident and pre-nipple piercing.

i have had some missteps lately in my submissive walk. David explicitly asked me to go by the drug store to pick up the meds that he had refilled, then even texted on my way home telling me not to forget… and yes, i forgot.

Then i have been mouthing off too. (My mouth gets me into more trouble than anything else!) i asked David a question that was intended as a joke, but with his facial response and his questioning me afterward, i knew he didn’t receive it the way i intended.

So – i fully expected it. In fact, i was prepared to ask for it if i had to.

And while we haven’t exactly discussed it really, he got home and said, “Are you expecting it today?” (And i KNEW that “it” was a spanking!)

Yes Sir

He said, “Not now. You’ll wait until I’m ready.”

Well that surprised me, but ok. Ok, NOT ok! i got somewhat annoyed because i have to psych myself up for spankings, especially when we’ve had a break lately. i mentally prepare. And i had done that. But he is in charge and he was teaching me to be submissive and disciplined to his guidance. And ultimately… i think this was him testing me!

But i didn’t wait long. About 30-minutes later and he said, “it’s time”

Yes Sir

And i went and assumed the position.

Now i was a bit on edge and nervous about this today because: 1) it’s been awhile. And the first time back is always a stark reminder … and typically especially painful! And 2) i have these new nipple piercings which i am afraid of bumping or hitting them on anything, causing pain! (Happy Birthday to Sir!) And i was worried if i squirm/move too much with each swat, i would hit them on the bed and cause myself even more pain.

So as i waited for Sir to come in, i prayed.

“Lord, thank you for giving me David to lead me, guide me, and to have complete control over our house and my life. i need you to help calm my nerves and give me strength to be the wife he wants me to be by accepting fully this discipline that i know i deserve, and to let it be an ultimate reminder of the wife i need to be. i love you Jesus. Amen”

Now if David has been “on cue” the door would’ve opened right then. But he wasn’t. And it gave me the time to “just relax….”

When David did came in, he immediately started the warm up. It was a LOT of swats in one spot on the left cheek. And then he did a LOT more on the right cheek.

Then the real swats came. All over my ass, sometimes in the same spot but often not. Swift and hard. And then a big pause….. and SMACK … an especially hard one….. and another pause and another big SMACK!

i could hear the paddle on the way back hit the palm of his other hand and then it hit my ass immediately after.

S-M-A-C-K

Somewhere in the middle, he asked me, “is this enough? Should I stop?” (While continuing to reign downing my ass)

And i hesitated. He said, “it was a simple question! No right or wrong answer, except to hear no answer at all.”

SMACK.

So i told the truth (best way to respond!) with, “i’m not certain Sir. i want it to end because it is intense but i want it to be a lasting and effective impression too.”

SMACK

S-M-A-C-K

That was when he put his hand between my legs and felt how wet i was. And he start playing with my clit.

SMACK

Wow. Pain and pleasure!

And he stuck his thumb in my ass and started moving in and out super fast. Fucking me hard with his thumb.

SMACK

Then with a thumb in my ass, he stuck two fingers in my Puss. And in/out they went!

SMACK

One hand was forcing my inside to submit while the other hand was still forcing the outside of me to submit.

Through it all, as my eyes were watering and i wondered if i was going to truly cry, i said, “i love it when you make both my outside AND my inside submit to you.”

“GOOD! Because your ass belongs to me!”

SMACK

“And i love when you are control ALL of me….. my body, soul, and mind!”

That’s when I heard “come for me my love!”

And i did. A LOT!

Then he replaced his thumb with a plug and said, “this will be a reminder all day to submit fully…. outside AND inside.”

Yes Sir.

And just like that…God granted me my prayer… to accept my spanking with grace and submission to be a better wife moving forward!

(And i didn’t move much at all during the spanking, and when i did it was lifting UP off the bed to ensure my nipples didn’t get hurt! It was a successful spanking all in all!)

Hugs,

Marie

65 – Topless

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Sir is determined to teach me to trust him. He says i don’t. And while i would love to argue with him, it’s a matter of opinion… and ultimately if that’s how he feels, well, it isn’t wrong. And i have no right to argue.

Today our microwave blew up. (Almost quite literally had a fire in our house, but it was contained inside the microwave. So all good! Oh and no, there was no aluminum inside. It happened while making popcorn.). But that’s when he said “we are going to buy a new one. Let’s go.”

And the two of us got in the car. Just us. No child. And within 1-mile of our house, he said… “take your top off”.

i am not allowed to wear a bra in his presence and only when “absolutely necessary” at all other times too. So he knew i had nothing on under my top.

i hesitated. He looked straight at me, raised his eyebrows and said, “did i stutter?”

i said, “No Sir,” and proceeded to remove my top. Quite slowly, but still making forward motion.

Broad daylight. Mid afternoon.

It made me nervous. i was antsy and shifting and he saw it. He said, “put your hands under your ass. Sit on them. And sit up tall. Proudly display yourself! Show me my boobs!”

i said, “yes Sir” and did so.

And that was when he rolled down the windows. For anyone & everyone to see who drove past. And he said, “Chin up. Smile. Look confident my sweetheart. I am, and you should be too!”

When we got to the store, i started to put my top back on. He said, “No. Leave it off. You can stay in the car while I get the microwave. I’ll return shortly.” And he left me in the parking lot, topless, wishing like hell i had another option – and knowing i didn’t!

And of course, a few people saw me. Thankfully no one i knew saw me! (He had parked near the edge of the lot where just a few cars were at, and had also rolled back up the windows, so not that many saw!)

Then on the way home, he told me to pinch my nipples and do not stop without permission, to which i had to beg for release. And in no time at all i was begging! After making me wait until he felt it was indeed time for a release, he allowed it. It was repeated periodically all the way home.

When we got home, he asked me if i felt sore. Of course, i did. He told me that was to be a reminder to trust him (more) in the future. i shouldn’t hesitate, question, or wonder if he was in charge.

That’s when he also continued saying i did good today, but trust has to be built more. That his role as HoH should be respected and … well… trusted. Then he ended with “be assured this would be the first test of more to come that would build the trust that he deserves. And the tests will continue until it seems the hesitation stops.”

i simply responded with “Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

i know he deserves my unwavering respect. i know we have agreed he is in control and my only job is to submit. i can do this! Even if my body parts end up sore in the process!

(and in case you are truly wondering, NO that pic above is NOT me.)

Hugs,

Marie

63 – the “almost” spanking

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Last night before sleep, David and i started talking about a work topic that i encountered … and i was telling him what was decided at work. And he started saying, “I’d make sure you are right about that before you continue”.

And that wasn’t what i was trying to even talk about so i got annoyed and brushed him off. “Yeah, yeah,… but…let me tell you about …..”

That annoyed him. And as we were both starting to raise our voices, he abruptly said, “you need to calm yourself! I was speaking and I think my points are valid. You don’t get to act like what I said wasn’t important. You started this conversation so quit acting this way! Geez!”

And just like that… i was mad. But i suppose i was already worked up and close to it already. i DID quit talking immediately (at least i had the fore thought to stop!). And we ultimately just started reading, turned out the lights, and said our typical “good night, I love you’s”

i laid there thinking about the convo and the “almost” fight… which made me grateful for the DD lifestyle we live.

i hate fighting… with anyone. It all just causes me strife and anxiety.

DD is a life style change that has helped our marriage tremendously! i have respect for him, and vice versa. We both know our roles and how we are to act with one another. And when we don’t do our part…. their are consequences.

So because i stopped when i did, i avoided a spanking.

But it made me think, “maybe i deserved one anyway!” Why?? Well, he’s right… i did start the convo. Although it was apparently subconscious, i did have preconceived notions about how it was going to go in that he was going to listen and agree to me. And when he didn’t, i tried to “force” my opinions and the convo in the way i wanted it to go.

Not only that, but he had to tell me to calm down and to stop. Maybe it shouldn’t have gotten that far from the start. Maybe i shouldn’t have acted the way i did with my “no, listen to ME attitude”.

So David was right and i was wrong. Did i deserve to be punished? i think maybe so.

And i told him all these thoughts this morning. And he responded with, “maybe. We will talk about it later (after work)”

i have no idea if i have actually avoided a spanking and discipline now or not. Nor do i know if we will talk about it. i hope not actually. i hope he just decides and that’s that! It may be waiting for me when i get home. But whether he intends to do it or not, i will accept his decision and we will move on from here…. me being secure in the knowledge we have a MUCH better way of dealing with disagreements than we ever did before DD and he is Dominant and i am submissive.

Hugs,

Marie