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Tag: submissive wife

86 – out of town

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Our son is going out of town tomorrow for an overnight trip to the beach with friends. i hope Sir uses me to the best of his ability while our son is gone.

But it’s times like this that i get my hopes up, get all excited… get things in my own head (!!!) that are not in his. And i don’t exactly know how to tell him without topping from the bottom… but if i don’t find some way to tell him, i’ll likely end up being squirrelly-cranky by the end, which is likely to cause problems.

Pre-DD solutions……

And those “problems” in the past would have probably led to a fight. i can hear it in my head now….

David: How was I to know T-H-A-T was what you wanted? Did you tell me?

Me: No, I didn’t tell you, but I assumed you’d know. And if you didn’t just know, when I dressed with practically nothing on that it would attract your eye. Or at the very least, you’d ask why I was dressed (or not) the way I was.

David: I’m NOT a mind reader!

Me: And how exactly should I say, “hey, use me now?”

David: Just like that!

Me: Yes, but I wanted you to want me. Not me telling you to want (and use) me!

David: whatever. You are impossible to please!

(And now we use the silent treatment on one another for awhile and at some point apologize and it’s never discussed again. Leaving me disappointed, frustrated, and somewhat bitter that T-H-I-S wasn’t what I wanted at all!)

*** did you notice that David was not my Sir? Did you notice I was capitalized?

Post–DD solutions…..

Problems…. if i don’t find a way to tell him and he doesn’t think to use me and i do get squirrelly-crazy … this is how the problem would be solved:

Sir: How was I to know T-H-A-T was what you wanted? Did you tell me?

Me: No Sir, i didn’t tell you, but i assumed you’d know. And if you didn’t just know, when i dressed with practically nothing on that it would attract your eye. Or at the very least, you’d ask why i was dressed (or not) the way i was.

(Now to this point, it is exactly the same as before.. except now he’s my Sir and i am little)

Sir: So i have a few things to say and you will listen.

Me: Yes Sir.

Sir: 1st, I am not a mind reader. 2nd, you know you are to dress sexy for me and in a way I like so that’s nothing new. 3rd, i have enjoyed seeing you in less clothing since it’s been unnecessary but I chose to look and enjoy in my way. As such, I have used you! And 4th and last, go assume the position because this assuming that you did, tell-me-after-the-fact how you feel, cranky attitude is never how we deal things now. If you’d found a way to N-O-T assume and to instead speak up earlier than now, this would not be ending this way. I’ll be there in a minute and you should be ready.

Me: Yes Sir

(Notice how he’s firmly in control, i am not, and the rules are pretty clear… and so are the consequences? And most importantly no fighting! And no lingering crankiness, grumpy, sulking ways.)

Back to now……

So knowing all this above… how do i tell him now to use me more than just for eye candy in the next 2-days rather than be sulky and lead to a red ass at the end … without topping from the bottom too? (i seriously struggle with this!)

Suggestions readily accepted…. but make it quick! (key is quick since this alone-time starts tomorrow!)

Hugs,

Marie

84 – Double or nothing

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This morning was supposed to be maintenance morning (MM). But David woke up later than usual and he had an appointment that he had to leave for so he said, “MM will be tonight.”

And i was secretly happy! Because after yesterday’s evening spanking, my rear is still a bit red and tender so i was NOT looking forward to this morning’s reinforcement.

After Sir left the house, i texted and told him these things.

And he responded with a challenge…..

“Should you decide to accept this challenge……. Wear a plug today. If you come home with it in, there will be no MM. but if comes out before you get home…. the MM will be doubled.”

Me: And if i don’t accept?

Sir: then you’ll get MM anyway.

Me: when you say “doubled”…. does that mean extra hard in one sitting or do two sittings (like today and again tomorrow)?

Sir: I haven’t decided yet, but that will be my decision.

Me: OK. Challenge accepted!

So i now sit at work…. plugged. And trying to convince myself (already just an hour in) this was a good idea! sometimes things sound great at the time…. “i can do this”….. and only just an hour later i think, “what were you thinking??”

i’m already thinking how it’s quite likely i won’t be able to sit down much of the weekend……

Hugs,

Marie

83 – Remorse… or lack thereof.

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Today i orgasmed…. Without permission. It’s been a long established rule… that is NOT allowed.

This. After having just done so well with edging AND David being so kind just one day prior. 🥴

For a long time now, David & i both have known that i love to have my puss filled. Like really filled. Completely Full.

He has been working toward the ultimate goal of fisting. And it gets me super turned on when he decides he wants to try it. And this morning David told me he wanted to try.

To date we have not succeeded in this. But to even get close (to fisting) it takes a lot of lube, so he told me start edging, get myself (naturally) wet, and he would be in afterward. So i was excited. Super excited. And started.

When he came in, i was getting fairly wet already. He liked it.

He took the bottle of lube and squeezed some out onto my clit as i was also touching it. As he was about to start taking over where i was working, he looked me straight in the eye and said, “I like what I see!”

And that sent me over the edge!

i orgasmed without permission.

And he looked at me with incredulity and said, “Did you just cum? Without permission?”

And i started laughing. Out loud.

Not the right emotion, but i was still technically in the midst of the orgasm, and his surprise and response made me smile… and laugh.

He smiled and said, “well, that’s all you get then! Get dressed and off to work with you!” (And he didn’t seem mad at all. But was most definitely done.)

A few hours later, i got a text, “do you feel remorse?”

i thought about it for a hot second… and… i didn’t.

So, i texted, “No Sir”

And he responded, “you should.”

i responded, “i’d agree.”

He said, “but you don’t, do you?”

i texted, “does it count that i know i should be?? 😉”

He said, “No. Expect repercussions.”

Tonight….. after watching tv for awhile, he said, “are you feeling remorse now?”

Me: not really.

Him: then it’s time. Go Assume the Position.

And i did.

And now i sit here typing …. feeling a lot more remorseful than i did a mere 30-minutes ago. My ass is red and sensitive to the touch,

And he then said, “and don’t think for a minute that this is also your maintenance. That will happen as always (on Friday morning….which is tomorrow…. approximately 12-hours from now.)”

Sure wishing i’d felt a lot more remorseful on my own accord. Maybe at the end of maintenance he will try to fist me, cuz i sure didn’t get any filled-to-the-top feelings today! But i kinda doubt it.

Hugs,

Marie

81 – Time will tell

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 81 – Time will tell

Sometimes i dream up scenarios in my head about how D/s with DD could go.

i don’t know if you’d call that a “fantasy” or not, but here’s one such fictional story that i imagined in my head today…….

BACKGROUND:

i have a chastity belt on order. And i just finished a 7-day Edging challenge. In truth, i am equally happy AND fearful of this chastity belt. i think i am fearful because of the unknown… i just don’t know what exactly to expect. Hence, why i think i dreamed you a scenario of how it “might” go.

So as i wait the arrival of the belt, i’ve thought about how it will feel, how often i will have to wear it, and how things with it will go.

NOW:

i specifically envisioned this conversation in my head…..

Sir: go to the bedroom and edge. Stop only long enough to ensure you don’t cross over the edge. Do NOT cum! And I’ll be there shortly.

Me: Yes Sir.

And i do as told. About 10-minutes later, Sir comes in. And sits on the bed beside me.

Sir: are you frustrated?

Me: Yes Sir. Can i cum now that you are here?

Sir: no. But you can stop edging.

i start to get up.

Sir: I never said you could get up. Lay back down and open your legs.

i do as told. He touches me and it feels SO good!

Me: Please Sir, may i pleaseeee cum?

Sir: NO!

And he stops the touching.

Sir: Now let’s get your belt on you for the day. I want you to want me. To hear you beg to let you cum. To make sure you know you only get to cum when I allow it. I want to get you to the place where I walk by you and your juices flow down your leg because you are so well trained to be wet for me, that I don’t even have to speak. And if I said “cum now” you would, without me even touching you! That is the goal my love!

Me: Yes Sir.

And he locks me up, and afterward twirls the key in his hand.

Sir: I guess you better hope I don’t lose this key now! Right?? And if you are my good girl, you’ll maybe get to cum tonight. But you have to be good, don’t you?

Me: Yes Sir.

Sir: now kiss me, thank me, and get ready for work.

And i do as told.

TRUTH: i have no idea how this belt will go and that conversation above hasn’t happened. And in writing, it sounds hot. In practice, i may not like it too much. Time will tell.

Tick-Tock……..

Hugs,

Marie

79 – Sexuality and Christianity

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i have been asked many times, “how do you reconcile your sexual escapades with your profession of faith?” … and every version thereof.

So this post is going to ATTEMPT to address that here… going to be very deep thoughts and theoretical and it’s taken me a long time to write this with many edits along the way .. so bear with me.

First off though…. i want to say i don’t know if i’m right. But i also don’t know if i’m wrong…. and frankly speaking, neither do you. So read this with an open mind and heart too! ❤️

AND a DISCLAIMER: while i am okay with constructive criticism, the key word is CONSTRUCTIVE! i have a delete button and i’m not afraid to use it. 😘 Remember the old adage… if you have nothing good to say… (let’s all finish it together now)… say nothing at all. So be kind!

My Christianity:

i want to start by telling you what i believe …as a Christian. i believe God loves all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight!

i believe in John 3:16, “that He gave his only son so that he who believes in Jesus will not perish, but have eternal life.” i do indeed believe that Jesus was the Great I Am who came to save us from sin and to whom that, when my earthly body fails or He returns to claim us (whichever comes first), i will go to be in heaven to live with forever.

i know we all sin every day in thought, word, and deed.. knowingly and unknowingly. And we have to ask God to forgive our sins to receive His many blessings in our life. But even if i were to not receive His blessings, because i believe Jesus is my Lord and Savior, i will still be saved.

i try to live my life according to the Golden Rule, which is biblical too, “Do unto others as you’d have done unto you.” (Matthew 7:12). And i know that ultimately God “has a plan for me to prosper, and to not harm” me (Jeremiah 29:11)

My Sexuality:

i am very sexual. i love being touched and touching, i love being seen and watching, but ultimately ………

i love being submissive (which is also biblical…. “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-23).

i have been with men and women that i was not married to, while i was (am) married. Both with and without David. But i have never done so without David’s knowledge and consent. And even though he has before, i am quite sure he hasn’t since.

My husband and i tried (and basically failed) at being monogamous. Our marriage almost failed as a result too. So we started doing sexual acts together, with other people. We don’t see it as cheating, unfaithful, or inappropriate when you take it out of the shadows and do it together. Our sexual fun together is something similar to a date night. We go together, participate in a fun activity together, and we come home together.

Is there much difference really between going to dinner and a movie with another couple OR going to dinner and then having sex with another couple?

Because i would tell you that being non-monogamous (is that a word, welp, it is now!) comes in many forms… spending too much (plutonic) time with a friend, confiding in another person more than your spouse, doing an activity with friends/family while intentionally not including your spouse, speaking gossip or negatively about your spouse to a friend or family member, lying (or just not telling the whole truth) and of course…. watching porn videos, sexting in a chat room, getting “happy ending” massages, and going onto websites that are for dating purposes only….all the while intending to hide (deceive) your spouse.

The Reconciliation:

When i was soul-searching after discovering David’s infidelity i found a lot about adultery, including when Jesus says, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).

So when i was busy pointing fingers at David for being adulterous, there were 4 more pointing back at me too!

i did also contemplate divorce… Oh but the Bible says divorce isn’t right either (there are more than 25 verses on divorce). And to that end, it says that “what God has brought together, let no man separate.” (Mark 10:9)

So now, we are doing an activity that we love, with full trust, honesty, and consent, as we are doing it TOGETHER. What’s so bad about that?

If you say that monogamy is the only way because the Bible says it, i would offer up that the Bible is full of contradictions. Depending on how you want to look and interpret any topic, including this very same discussion (Just google, “polygamy and the Bible” or “is it possible to be Christian swingers” to name a few), the Bible can be twisted and manipulated to suit. Perhaps some would say that’s what we’ve done now too. i’m ok with that. And here’s why…

Consider the verse, “Love they neighbor as thyself” …. does this mean i am not only allowed, but in fact seemingly commanded to have sex with my neighbors? Because the Bible also says, “do not lust after your neighbor.” By who’s standard should verses be deemed literal or figurative? How did you decide here? There’s nothing in the Bible that tells us. We decide based on our Christian teachings in church or by societal norms.

So if societal norms are the standard by which we set our moral compass, when did monogamy become a “thing” because there are more than 40 leaders in the Bible who were polygamous with multiple wives, including Solomon, Moses, Abraham, and King David (a man after God’s own heart)? How did we pick the exact verses we want to mandate as the ones to follow (one wife) quite literally while ignoring other verses (those that say they had multiple wives) because they “no longer apply” or “aren’t meant to be taken figuratively? Nowhere in the Bible does it specifically condemn polygamy, but of course, it doesn’t condone it either. Unless …. you want to say that many of the key leaders/biblical characters are polygamous and if the Bible doesn’t specifically condemn them, it must therefore condone them by default. So again, by that logic, when did monogamy become the societal norm and only acceptable way?

Southern baptists believe you shouldn’t dance, drink (alcohol), or gamble. Why? Because at least the dancing and drinking parts certainly are not biblical. Jesus went to a wedding and turned water into wine! At a place where they were drinking together and he seemingly encouraged it by creating more. He served wine at the last supper, and yet, Baptist’s serve grape juice in church instead. How or when did the societal norms become that replacing what Jesus commanded (drink this wine in remembrance of me) not be the accepted practice?

And taking the opposite approach is the Methodist Church who is now allowing homosexual/lesbian people to become ministers.

Which church has it right or wrong? i don’t think either are wrong. It is an earthly interpretation of how they feel it best to live and guide us.

(Many use the Bible verse Hebrews 13:4 as the guidance to say homosexuality is wrong. In my bible, the words are exactly as “sexual immoral” – not “homosexual”. When did various translations decide that should be changed to “homosexual”?)

There’s no clear answers. There’s a lot of debate and we could literally argue this until Jesus comes again to set us all straight! So ultimately…. i say it again….. i don’t know the answers.

What i do know is that i wasn’t ready to divorce my husband, but what we were doing (attempted and failed monogamy) wasn’t working either. So now, we enjoy being honest, open, loving, and forthright with one another… and that includes spending time together doing activities like golf, travel, going to the movies, and yes sexual activity with others.

And in the end, i try to be a better Christian, wife, and Mother each day. Do i fail? Yes! But we all “fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23)

In the end, i am a Child of God, believe in Jesus, admit to being a sinner and try to do better each day…. knowing that none of us can abide by and live fully up to all 783,137 words in the Bible even if we did understand the true intent of each word!

i’ll leave you with a final thought…… lest Ye be the First to Cast Stones…..

According to the Gospel of John, the Pharisees, in an attempt to discredit Jesus, brought a woman charged with adultery before him. Jesus thought for a moment and then replied, “He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her.” The people crowded around him were so touched by their own consciences that they departed.”

And my true final thought…. now i am off to dress (without a bra or panties) to go to church on this Sunday morning. 😉❤️😘

Hugs,

Marie