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183 – FICTION: Discipline Reinstated

Written by Marie on . Posted in Fiction, Uncategorized. No Comments on 183 – FICTION: Discipline Reinstated

“I have been lax on your discipline and your attitude lately shows it. This is on me as it is my responsibility to maintain order and of course when you aren’t disciplined for poor behavior, you forget how to act good. So today we correct that. Assume the Position. N-O-W.”

That’s what he said to me. I knew he was right, but that didn’t mean I was ready for him to turn it back on right N-O-W as he said to me either.

I mean hell, I was dressed up, made up, and we were about to walk out the door for our Friday night out. I’ve been looking forward to this date night with my Dominant Husband all week!

So ….. in hearing his words…. I hesitated. I looked at him and said, “what?? Now?? Why?? We are about to leave……”

And what I heard back, I knew was what I probably needed to hear but had no desire in actually hearing either.

He said, “This. This attitude is what ai suspected I’d hear from you. Again, it’s my fault for not having been engaged lately and having poorly executed our discipline routine. But that stops. Now. Unless of course you want to argue more with me……”

That’s when I rolled my eyes at him.

Ut oh. That was most definitely not the best thing to do, and I knew it the second after I saw his face.

He was determined. To change this behavior. And it was about to happen.

He grabbed me up by my forearm, lifting me onto my toes. And said, “the eye roll is exactly what I won’t be having anymore of. You just made this worse for both of us. We will not be leaving here until your ass is as red as I think it should be, in order to have you sufficiently reminded of exactly how you are to behave when I give an order for you. Do you understand me??”

All I said was “Yes Sir”.

I hadn’t uttered those words in quite some time, which was really when I did know and acknowledge aloud that he was RIGHT. I did need discipline and his hand to be reminded of my submissive place in our marriage. If I had been able to be honest, I’d have told him awhile ago he was needing to bend me over and spank me. But he’s in control and let’s face it, I can’t make my Husband do something he’s not wanting to do. But it does seem he’s going to do this now.

And that’s when the realization that I was about to be regretting every non-Sir response, every eye roll, and every hesitation that I’ve felt lately.

I was glad to have my dominant husband back in control and caring enough to do what we both know needed to be done, but my ass was about to be very sore indeed.

He may as well have been dragging me to the bedroom by this point and he kinda pushed me forward toward the bed, and said, “Now. Do you need to be reminded exactly what the words ‘Assume the Position’ mean or can I assume you will be able to act properly now??”

I said, “Yes Sir” and started taking my clothes off. He just stared.

While this is always the most humiliating part for me, it is especially hard when his eyes are just bearing down on me too. So I sheepishly started removing my clothes, piece by piece.

He snapped his fingers and said “hurry it up woman. We don’t have all day. As you were aware, we have a dinner date to get started!”

So I moved more quickly and laid across the bed as I’ve been taught to do.

I heard the bedside stand drawer open and I knew I was about to feel the full reign of his authority on my backside.

He said, “I’ve let this go for too long.”

Smack.

I flinched and couldn’t help but think “wow, he didn’t even start light! Can I handle that he’s about to give??”

And he said, “you’ve not been the best submissive wife you could be. Have you?”

Smack.

“I asked you a question!”

Smack-smack-smack

“Yes, I know. I haven’t been very good. You are right.”

Smack-smack-smack!

“You also fail to speak the word you know I like to hear most!”

Smack! Smack! S-M-A-C-K!!

“What word is that?”

“Sir. You like to hear Sir. Sir”

SMACK!

“That’s correct. That word is music to my ears”

SMACK

(My eyes were already starting to tear up. My butt was already burning. But I also knew I love to submit to my husband, and I needed this. And honestly he needed this too.)

“Now, I’ll start over and you’ll count.”

(Now I just started to let the tears flow freely.)

Smack.

“One Sir”

Snack

“Tttwo Sirrr”

(My tears were making the words hard to speak.)

Smack

“Threeeee Sirrrrrr”

(I don’t want to call yellow. But how many more?!)

Smack-smack

“(Sob) Four Sirrrr aaand Fivvvveee Sirrrrr”

“That’s my girl. That’s what I like to hear. I know you are being a good girl to accept this needed discipline and your strength is very much noticed. Only five more. And each one will be harder than the last, so we end on a strong climax. Are you ready my love?”

“Y-essss sssssiiiirrrr” (sob)

(I can do 5-more. I’m proud that I have accepted his dominance and submitted the way I know we both want and love!)

Smack

Smack!

SMACK!!

(My tears and cries were getting loud)

“Good girl! I’m so proud of you for submitting to me and being so strong to accept my will as your own. One more love and we are done. This will hurt.”

S-M-A-C-K!!!

And with that, I collapsed onto the bed a whole mess of make up, tears, and yet…. strength. I know I’m a strong woman to decide to submit to my husband. I am proud of myself being willing to accept his leadership and discipline. And I know that he’s proud of me too for those same reasons.

With that he puts his arms around me and holds me for a few minutes until all the tears dry. That’s when he says, “are you hungry my good girl? I want to take you to a wonderful dinner now if you are up to it.”

I responded with the only words I knew were in my mind, heart, and soul……

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

And I hear……

“That’s my Good girl!”

Hugs,

Marie

181 – DD spankings are (more) effective.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 181 – DD spankings are (more) effective.

We got into a H-U-G-E fight yesterday afternoon. On Easter. Completely ruined the afternoon of an otherwise great Sunday. And the topic or reason for the fight…. was stupid. V-E-R-Y stupid!

i will tell you just how stupid……

Background first. We have a running phrase in my house that goes like this….. “when King Midas touches things, it turns to gold. When Marie touches things (with technology involved), it breaks.”

My computer has given me the “black screen of death” (that’s what i call it anyway) more times than i know. i have horned more computers (that break for NO reason) than anyone i know! My phone just randomly decides to do strange things too, like one day (recently) we upgraded our service provider plan. “All we have to do” is reboot the phone and it will take effect. Except when i rebooted my phone, the voice mail suddenly wouldn’t work… at all. Then i called the 800-help desk number and got it working. Until i hung up the phone and then my phone wouldn’t dial out even for a basic call! And the microwave broke when i was using it. The buttons just stopped working 2-months ago as i was pushing them. This is the same microwave that i blogged about last summer! It wasn’t even one-year-old! And….. and…. and i could go on, but you get the idea.

Well…. this past week my car had to go to the shop where they (apparently) had to disconnect the dashboard and after getting it back, all the (technology-related) settings were not set anymore, including my phone connecting to Bluetooth.

So David decided to reset all this for me yesterday afternoon. And when he told me this, he had my keys in hand and said, “let’s do this now.” And the fact he was going to do it “now” should’ve put my mind at ease (given my background about tech!), but instead… it sent my anxiety through the roof and to the next level.

He wanted me to go to the car and do it with him… THAT moment. Well, i wasn’t doing anything particular then, but i wasn’t mentally prepared to take on that tech battle either. (When i set the tech settings the first time, i had to read the manual! —— who reads a car manual with all 500-pages of it anyway?? 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️. i had to… cuz i couldn’t figure out how to make the car not beep when… [fill in the blank]….. without reading it.)

i tried not to say anything. But then he said, “what? Are you afraid I’ll mess it up?”

i responded in truth…. “Yes.”

(When in reality, while that was how i was feeling overall… but it was more that “i was afraid WE would mess it up! And it gives me anxiety to do this…and i’m not mentally prepared for this… and and….”

And in that single word….. he and i proceeded to get into the biggest fight we’ve had in a long time. It escalated with us yelling things at each other that neither of us really meant and got to the point where he yelled, “I’m done! You are certifiably crazy!” And he got out a suitcase and started packing it to leave the house and go who-knows-where.

And in that moment, all i could really think was, “HOW did we get HERE? And why doesn’t he just say, ‘Assume the Position’ and spank me?”

And why didn’t he?

i think he was just THAT mad that he couldn’t. He would’ve ended up truly beating me of he had picked up the paddle. And our DD relationship….. to many people’s disbelief and have tried to argue with me on this blog and/or in emails to me… is NOT about beatings or abuse.

i probably should’ve let him leave…. and calm down… which he would’ve done. And he would’ve come back. But i wasn’t certain in that moment. i was doubting. And MORE anxiety gripped me.

Instead, i first told him how stupid it was that he was leaving. And i told him i suspected if he left, he wouldn’t come back or that we would never be the same. And when that didn’t exactly work, i eventually just (literally) clung to him …. and started crying and basically not allowing him to leave without dragging me with him.

(Yeah, i told you at the start… it was a DUMB fight. That escalated wayyyyyy beyond anything rational!)

But we did calm down. (He kinda didn’t have a choice when i was standing there arms around him, head dug into his chest, and crying….)

We are (still) living in the same house, slept in the same bed under the same roof, and all is “right” in my world again……

Mostly.

i haven’t gotten a spanking.

Yet.

But it’s probably needed.

And justified.

We shall see.

So….. Doms…… next time something seems “off” with your sub….. don’t go getting so angry that you threaten to leave your own home with suitcases in hand. Instead, tell her to Assume the Position, and spank her ass. Spank her soundly and hard enough to get the anxiety to subside…. and make her still go do the thing that needs to be done. Calmly. (Now to just say that to David… 😉)

Oh… and i’ll stop with the “keep calm” pics now… but seriously… it’s pretty appropriate for today’s blog post.. right??

Hugs,

Marie

171 – A Spanked wife is a Happy Life

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We’ve all heard the phrase, “Happy Wife, Happy Life”. But i would propose a change to that phrase to instead read….

A SPANKED WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE.

“We all know who wears the pants in that family!”

“It’s obvious who’s in charge in that relationship”

These are sentences we’ve heard or even spoken before. The very idea that a relationship has equality is absurd to me. When there are just two people, who are voting their “side,” there can be is stalemate when the two sides are opposing. It results in a 50/50 split. And who is the one to break the tie? Who is the one to relent? Who is the one to say, “we will do it your way.”???

While i think there are relationships that may well be nearly equal in that both sides relent frequently, never is it completely equal. Which means that someone is in control and makes the decisions, and the someone else relents.

That someone who gets the win, “wears the pants.”

That person making the decisions is the natural Dominant and the person who relents is the natural submissive.

In our house, i do not even try to be equal as i don’t want to be. i want to submit to his will and his authority, as he submits to God’s will and God’s authority. This keeps it all in (our version of) balance.

So the person who wears the pants in this family is NOT me!

But sometimes balance doesn’t stay in balance. And it needs a reset. Or discipline. And in my opinion, the best reset is a spanking.

i did some research and picked out some reasons to spank your wife and how it leads to a happy life. Of course, i picked the ones i wanted to write about and ignored all the nah-sayers, so this is nowhere near official. Lol.

As such… take it as MY OPINION (with support for said opinion).

Reasons to spank your wife…..

#1: Power is Sexy… which leads to LOVE

Powerful people are (mostly) attractive and sexy. Think about some of the most influential people in society and even specific to your life. Odds are, they are confident, in control, (Dominant), and…. sexy.

And where there’s sex, there’s love. Okay, not always, but sexy can lead to love and in any “relationship,” i sincerely hope there’s love!

And if you have enough love in the relationship, you love her enough to correct the misbehavior. And you love him enough to submit to the spanking.

Spanking someone, done from a position of power is love. It means you are loving someone enough to do what is needed, even when it’s hard. And yes, it should be a bit hard for the Dominant to do. Because you don’t want to hurt her, but rather to guide her, and sometimes that requires tough love… and discipline.

#2: It will keep her calm

For me, i am a Dominant woman in much of my outside-the-home life. That may come as a surprise to some of you but it is true. At work, i am a boss. When things flow the way they should, i am calm. But how often does that happen?

At home, i am NOT in control, nor do i want to be. i want to come home and know i can relax and not have to make any decisions. i like to follow rules and directives. But sometimes even that doesn’t happen.

When these things don’t flow in the right order, chaos occurs. Now I know chaos is part of life but i don’t like it! And it typically throws me into a tizzy.

Spanking restores the calm and reason. It centers me. It forces me to focus on just one thing…. standing still and listening to Sir’s voice in THIS moment.

It grounds me, and restores the calm.

#3: Creates Intimacy and Builds Trust

Getting naked and baring your bottom for someone to see (and spank) requires intimacy. Physically by showing yourself to him. Mentally by showing yourself to him.

Yes, i said the same thing for both mental AND physical. Because it’s true. You have to unclothe your physical self AND your mental self to submit to a spanking.

So while you are unclothing and showing yourself to him, you show him you trust him enough to lead you, to guide you, and to be in control…. without abusing that control or trust. You are saying, “i trust you Sir!”

Which ultimately leads to the utmost levels of intimacy for both of you!

#4: Biblical

While you won’t find “spank your wife” in the Bible, you will find, “Husbands are to lead and women are to submit.” And (in my opinion) failing to submit requires disciplinary actions to get things on track.

All the way back to the Bible times, it was clearly written and people accepted it as the way of life, that men and women are not equal. And as such, discipline is necessary.

#5: Love

When you love her enough and care enough to discipline, you care about keeping the love alive and well in your relationship. And when you love him enough, you will submit to a spanking because you will know that it is good for you both. It builds up your relationship in a way that you just can’t imagine. And once you do it, you’ll agree….

The love is deeper and more profound than anything you had before……

And you never want to be wearing the pants in your family again.

But you will want to pull them up after that spanking is done and hopefully you don’t have to do it again anytime soon!

Hugs,

Marie

170 – First Spanking of 2021.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Exercise and Chocolate, Punishment, Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 170 – First Spanking of 2021.

The first spanking of this year was not for maintenance. It was a discipline spanking and happened on only the 5th day of the year!

It was in the morning while i was still waking up. i was sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and surfing the internet, when Sir started talking about the day’s agenda. He said, “I have a yoga instructor coming to the house for a 1-on-1 session.”

You should know that since April and the original Nationwide quarantine for COVID, he has been working from home and it works quite nicely for all. so he has a lot more flexibility in his schedule than i do with me working at an office. (Did you get the pun there… “flexibility” while being a post about yoga… ok, maybe just my silliness at work. Carryon….)

Now it was an innocuous statement all by itself, but it made me mad. He had quite literally never spoke about yoga until this moment, with the exception of (about) 5-years ago [pre-DD] when i was talking some yoga classes and asked him to go with me. He went twice and swore he’d never do it again as it was just not for him. So this was a shocking statement really that not only had he been thinking about it, but decided, contacted, and scheduled a 1-on-1 session too… without ever mentioning it to me.

Now he’s not required to tell me everything, nor am i to him. But of course, it seemed to me that he would have since we’ve been starting to try to be in better shape, exercise more, and lose weight together. AND he has quite literally sworn off yoga in the past.

i am still working to be at my goal weight for my 50th bday later this year. But with it being winter-season, it gets dark too early in the evening and i don’t like walking alone in the dark. i have a healthy fear of bad things happening in the dark outside while alone. So i have been (practically) begging David to walk with me at night after work since about October. Many days he’s relented, but some days he says no, making it a real challenge for me.

Somewhere around a month ago though, we have officially started walking together after work most evenings probably due to my relentless begging for him to go. And of course now with the New Year, everyone’s resolution seems to always be to lose weight, including his.

So now he is going to do a yoga-exercise-class without me???

Can you now see why i was immediately upset? Well, he didn’t. i said nothing out loud at all though. He had no idea i was triggered and now quite upset.

He kept talking and the next thing he said, that required my response about 2-minutes later was, “Should i make you some breakfast when i make make my own this morning?”

And unfortunately for me, i wasn’t able to respond in a positive way but instead i did so in a very snarky tone and words. My words were appropriate for my attitude at that moment……

i said, “Why? So i can go to the office and let the food just sit on my ass while you work out and lose weight without me??”

And that did it.

He said, “Go Assume the Position.” With the calmest voice you can imagine, which was almost disconcerting in and of itself.

Well, i happen to have been drafting a post to you at the time so i wanted to finish my thought and save it before going. He noticed the 1-minute hesitation and said in a raised and getting agitated voice, “N-O-W!”

So i did. Under protest. And definitely with annoyance and anger in my head and on my face and in the way i stomped to the bedroom.

When he came in i was in position, including with the paddle resting in the small of my back. But he didn’t pick it up. Instead, he opened the nightstand and pulled out the cane.

Yep. For Christmas i bought him a set of canes. We have never had or used canes before so this was going to be different. We both kinda wanted to try them, but it wasn’t until a good sub-friend helped me figure out which one(s) to buy that i decided to surprise him with it for Christmas.

When he opened the set of 3, he smiled and said, “this will make Friday’s more exciting for awhile!” And yet, this discipline spanking was the first he was trying it out.

When i felt the cane smack the first time, i cringed and flinched. He didn’t even hit me hard, but it wasn’t expected either. He had left the paddle in the small of my back and after i flinched he said, “Don’t let the paddle move! It stays in its place!”

And in my head i thought, “yeah right! That ain’t happening! And in fact when it falls, what are the consequences??” But thankfully i didn’t smart off out loud about that!

i felt the cane hit several times and it wasn’t without much actual force, but i sure did hear the distinct “swish” of the cane’s whipping motion in the air before it collided with my ass too.

In NO time at all, i was feeling the sting! He said, “And what’s with the attitude? I offer to make you breakfast and you smart off??”

S-T-I-N-G!

Ouch!

He said, “I asked a question and I expected an answer!”

S-T-I-N-G! again….. OUCH again!

i spat out the words, “you made me mad announcing you are doing a 1-on-1 yoga session without me, when you know i am trying so hard to get in shape and lose weight, especially this year with my 50th coming up. And you don’t even like yoga!”

S-T-I-N-G! a 3rd time again….. and a serious OUCH now!

i came off the bed and was more-or-less standing upright. The paddle fell to the floor. i mentally cringed. Now what?? i already feel the sting of that cane sooo much! And in truth, we both know he hasn’t even used it with much force or repetition!

He stood there and waited. He said nothing. i resumed the position. He said, “THAT was a good girl getting back into position, despite having not kept the paddle in place.”

i knew then that having lost the paddle would be a forgiven transgression. Now only to finish with the first transgression!

He said, “I was intending to find someone who seemed good for both of us and then to have group/family classes once a week. But I know I am less agile than you so I figured most any instructor would work for you! I expected you’d be happy that I got this sorted out without having to bother you with the details.”

S-T-I-N-G! a 4th and most painful yet. Not sure if it’s cuz the sting-factor is building or he used more force. He definitely has moved around on my ass and upper thighs, but man this cane has a biting sting! And yes, i came off the bed… again. And again, i resumed the position after catching my breath.

He continued, “are you still mad?”

Yes! I am! I see your point, but that doesn’t change my mind that you could’ve told me all this before I found myself in this position.

He smacked again and said, “Seriously? Are you not going to answer me? Again??”

i said in a calm tone, “Yes, i am still mad, but i am trying not to be.”

He said, “I can continue to swat until you aren’t mad. You need to tell me when you are not mad.”

Sting – sting – sting – sting – sting – sting – sting.

Quick and swift, over and over, all around from top of my ass to the middle of my thighs.

Ok, i cry mercy!

“I’M NOT MAD…. SIR.”

“You sure?”… STING

“Oh yes Sir. I’m not mad, just wanting this to stop please Sir.”

And it did.

He stood me up, put his arms around me and said, “next time you get mad, instead of being silent or smarting off to me, you will just come assume the position and I will know. So we can avoid the smart ass tone, my anger and annoyance back, and a potential fight. I will spank you until you aren’t mad, so that you can speak to me in calm words. Am I clear?”

“Yes Sir.”

Ahh great. A New rule for the New Year.

But once again, i will tell you…. i know it works. i really was NOT mad anymore when i told him so. i really was able to talk calmly afterward. It really did allow me to refocus and speak kindly. He really did have the best of both of our interests at heart.

And so… when i am mad again next, i will just go Assume the Position…. and do so willingly.

And in case you wondered……. i had cane lines across my ass for several hours and felt the sting for much of the morning…. while he was stretching with the yoga instructor, i was squirming in my chair at the office.

AND….. he liked her, so we will start this next week as a family doing yoga together.

Cheers… to a new year.. a new cane… and a new start!

Hugs,

Marie

166 – Giving

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 166 – Giving

i follow many other bloggers and read their posts (just about) daily. One such blogger is SubMissy. She has an amazing site and she writes so very well, which is very inspiring. She also does blog post prompts to which i am going to now participate in….

CURRENT PROMPT IS……

This month is all about giving. All good relationships are based on give and take, so how does giving work in your dynamic? Or why not focus on what you have done this season to make giving a priority? How does giving work with your headspace and where does giving and receiving fit for you?

So here’s my post about GIVING.

We have all heard ……IT IS BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE …. and i wholeheartedly disagree.

Yep, i am writing about GIVING and yet, i disagree with one of the most well-known phrases about it. The reason why i disagree is, in my opinion, really rather basic.

IF WE ALL BUSY GIVING, THEN WHO IS RECEIVING? In order to allow someone to give, someone else has to (graciously and kindly) receive it.

i would prefer the phrase to instead to be something like, “GIVING AND RECEIVING IS PERFECTLY DONE WHEN IT IS A PERFECTLY COMPLETE CIRCLE.”

All to often, when we give to people, you hear the other one saying things back to you that sound like:

1) “oh thank you, but I can’t possibly accept this.” or

2) “You shouldn’t have” or

3) “But I didn’t get you anything” or

4) “I feel like your charity case”

i could go on, but i think these are prime examples of things that i have heard and probably even said at some point in my lifetime.

The trouble with all these is that if i want to give you something…. i needyou to accept it. With grace and thankfulness, not some awkward and strange reluctance or even flat out refusal (#1 above).

i love to give. But it takes an open and accepting and gracious person to receive those gifts in return to have us both feel good about it.

i give to people out of love. i often think, “i have more than i need, and their need is greater than mine at this time, so i want to give this to them.”

And frequently i have heard, “I’m not a charity case.” (#4 above) said back to me. It becomes awkward then. i typically say something like, “i didn’t mean to insult you” or “it’s just my way of helping.” And once i even said, “it’s better to give than to receive.” She said, “oh so now you are giving to me so you can feel better about yourself?” Uhmmmmmm. No.

Now neither the giver nor the receiver is feeling good about it, and honestly, quite the opposite has occurred! The negativity has now overtaken the entire situation. What started as something good, has turned sour in a hurry. All because there was a receiving heart to accept the gift that was freely given.

In my marriage though, we have a healthy give-receive relationship. i think most people think that a D/s relationship is all about the submissive giving of herself physically, mentally, financially, and the Dominant would be receiving of it all. While that’s substantially true, it works in reverse too. Sometimes i think most people wouldn’t really think about our Dominant as the giver also, but they are. And for him to give to me, i have to receive it with grace and thanks in order to complete the circle.

So i kind of want to turn this prompt inside out and talk about how my Sir gives to me and my responses to him. At least that’s where i start, but i end up with me giving too! You’ll see. 😉

PHYSICAL GIVING

My husband cooks and i clean. i NEVER COOK. And we are both quite happy with this arrangement. Neither of us really ever expects the other to do what we aren’t good at and we are grateful for the skills and gifts we have to offer the other.

But cooking isn’t the only gift he regularly gives me. Yes, he gives me spankings. Regularly. If you read my blog, it is chopped full of stories of punishment spankings and maintenance spankings in order to maintain our dynamic. Domestic Discipline (DD) is alive and well in our relationship. By intention design.

In other posts, i have also said numerous times, “i do not like to be spanked.” And it is true. But i accept it, in part because i see it as a gift from David.

He has taken his time and physical energy, to spank me. It is (one of) his gifts of love to me, along with his amazing chef-like skills too. He does it (a spanking) with love in his heart and the ultimate goal of guiding me in the way we want our marriage to go. To keep us on track and to keep doing good.

He cares about our marriage and me enough to give me spankings.

But how can he give me spankings if i don’t accept it with grace and thankfulness? It wouldn’t work at all. Can you imagine me saying, “oh you really shouldn’t have. I can’t accept this.” Or better, “But I didn’t get you one.” ??

Giving simply doesn’t work without someone else receiving. And preferably receiving with a grateful and thankful heart. So i receive with a thankful heart.

When we are done with the spanking, every time he stands me upright and hugs and kisses on me. And he tells me how much he loves me. He gives me hugs and kisses at the end of giving me a spanking.

He has never made me thank him, but i typically do. i want him to know that while this was a physical gift that i may not have wanted, i know he does it because he does indeed love me. And i agreed long ago to accept it openly and lovingly. So i thank him in order to give him reassurance that this gift he’s given is accepted with a loving heart in return.

*** Did you see what i just did there? i said, “i thank him in order to GIVE Him reassurance” about his gift to me. So in the mere act of receiving, the giving has now been turned back inside-right by me giving him something too.

He doesn’t seek my thanks, but he receives it with grace and pride too. It creates in him a feeling of pride and appreciation when i give him reassurances of my willingness to accept the gift he’s given me.

So ultimately a grateful receiving heart ends up turning into a gracious giving heart, creating a full and complete and perfect circle of giving!

Okay, yes, he also gives me physical/tangible/ real gifts. And i do my very best to thank him for all of them, as he does in reverse. And of course, this works in the perfect circle too.

One of the gifts i gave him for Christmas was a set of canes. We have never owned any canes so this will be a new experience for us both. We have talked about it, but neither of us has gifted the other with a cane, until now.

He finds these gifts oddly strange of me to give. He asks me, “Why would you give me a gift of something that will bring about the very thing (a spanking) that you tell me you don’t want to have?”

My answer is simple, “Because you love me enough to guide me and i accept these spankings as a reminder of who we are together. We grow together in our DD relationship with reinforcement of what we know works.”

And it’s true.

That’s when he gave me a devilish looking grin and said, “I can’t wait for Friday’s Maintenance now!”

MENTAL GIVING

While he is physically giving me a spanking, i am mentally giving him my submissive heart, mind, and soul.

A spanking with a paddle stings. It is maybe best described like a bee sting or a needle prick. It hurts, but on,y for a split second and it leaves behind a heat that is felt for awhile thereafter. And that’s just one swat, which a spanking never is. As the swats continue, the sting builds as well as the heat it generates to.

From the very start, i have to tell myself to relax and accept this gift he is giving. i mentally pray before we start as i wait for him to come into the room and that prayer typically shows something like, “Lord help me to accept this spanking with grace and understanding that it ultimately comes from his guidance of me, through your guidance of him. Please Lord give him the confidence and strength to lead our family and me especially in the ways you want us to go.”

At some point during a spanking endorphins release and i actually do start to accept with a thankful heart each swat he delivers. It starts to feel good. My mind relaxes and it brings me into the best receiving heart and mind possible. My thoughts move from, “But i didn’t get you anything” to “Please never stopgivingme your all!”

GIVING AND RECEIVING IS PERFECT ONLY WHEN IT IS A PERFECTLY COMPLETE CIRCLE

So maybe you can see that while maybe the giving part is the start of the circle, it also requires a receiving part. And by receding the gift, you are simultaneously giving your thanks. And that original giving person is also receiving your praise and graciousness. The circle is complete.

No one is ever JUST giving or receiving. It has to be a complete and perfect circle for it all to work. You have to give AND receive… always.

If you are guilty of saying these things that I mentioned above…. STOP. Instead, say something like:

1) “oh wow, I’m so grateful for your kindness.” or

2) “This is so amazing.” or just a simple…

3) “THANK YOU!” Is always perfect too.

And genuinely mean it, from a truly receiving heart!

(Oh and final thoughts on this day…… as we say goodbye to 2020, this year was a gift….. yes, this year has been incredibly hard but it is a gift to be alive, to have friends to miss, to be thankful for the times we can and eventually will be back together, and an opportunity to have a receiving heart for better times ahead with enormous thankfulness!)

Hugs,

Marie