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Tag: spanking

262 – Today i am mad.

i got very mad at Sir tonight. And tomorrow, i will be spanked for it.

i said NO! to Sir. i know i don’t do that. But i did. Intentionally too!

Because i got that mad at him.

So we have streaming tv. And his dad, my father in law (FIL), sometimes dials on and watches specific shows on our service. When he does that though, it turns off what we are watching.

Well Sir is out of town and it happened while i was watching a tv show. i got a message that said, “You’re watching tv on too many devices in too many locations.” It gives me a choice to click on continue watching or cancel. If i continue, it will knock my FIL off again. And while i could do that, he will get that message and hit “continue watching” himself and it will knock me off where we play a tv version of ping pong.

So i got pissed and i told David so. i said, “this is stupid that we share tv service with your dad. We can afford to pay for our own service, and so can he. i should be able to watch what i want, when i want.”

i got a message back that said, “CHILL OUT!” Well, i didn’t.

And while David showed me an alternative way to get the show on that i wanted, i told him, “i got it on now, but i am still mad. This is stupid!”

To which he said, “well tell him.”

Now i wasn’t mad at my FIL, but at David. David gave him the password and he used it. My FIL didn’t do anything wrong.

So i said, “No. i told you.”

i waited.

i saw he read it.

About 5-minutes later, i got a response.

It said, “Are you telling me no?”

And i wrote (very boldly and confidently), “Yes Sir. i did. Because i am that mad.”

He wrote, “ok. When you see I’m leaving the airport (to drive to our house), you will Assume The Position.”

We have Life 360 app where i can see where he is and vice versa. i will have to watch the app to see when he’s leaving though as the airport is not a saved place. Only the saved places will trigger an automatic notification to me and he knows this. So he’s making me watching the app to know when he’s leaving the airport, in addition to the spanking now too.

Fine. i don’t care!

“Yes Sir.”

And then i got another message that read, “And you’ll wear the (chastity) belt from now until I leave the airport tomorrow to. You will not orgasm at all!”

Fine. i don’t care about that either!

“Yes Sir.”

And i put it on, even though i contemplated not doing it. While he won’t know exactly when i put it on or take it off, he will know if i don’t wear it. The belt leaves indentation marks on my skin that would be missing if i were to not wear it. The indentations are not permanent, and the belt doesn’t hurt but it does have to be tight enough to be effective. So it presses against my waist line, and leaves marks. i have noticed there seems to be a correlation between how long i wear the belt to just how long the marks stay. So i almost have to wear it for the duration prescribed if i am to take it off when Sir leaves the airport (and for it to be long enough to have the marks still be present when he gets home).

And now we aren’t exactly talking. i’m not sure if it’s a lull in the conversation and communication, or if he’s that mad that he’s not speaking to me. Although i am pretty certain it’s just a lull. Either way, right now, i am happy for the break to recoup and regain my composure.

Tomorrow’s spanking won’t be easy, or light, or maintenance. It’s going to hurt. And i am ok with that… at least right now anyway. i’ll wait to see if or how badly i regret this tomorrow!

UPDATE:

i did discover, even last night, that Sir was speaking to me and said good night and that he loves me. (Just doesn’t love my anger!).

We talked more and i told him that i was mad at him, not his dad, which is why i told him NO that i would NOT tell his dad not to use our service and that he could pay for it himself.

To which, David started typing….. i saw the little bubbles. i got a bit anxious at his response as i was entirely sure that i should NOT have probably revisited this whole topic in the first place, but rather let it be what it was to be. But then also, i was openly telling him how mad i was and (while not in so many words…..) was also saying how wrong i thought David was in doing this.

Then i saw his response.

“In all your anger, have you forgotten all the money they’ve given us with (XY and Z). Not to mention, when I share codes with your family, you don’t seem to think that’s problematic. I don’t think what I’ve done is so egregious that it warrants your anger or defiance. You do not need to ever tell me No like that again.”

Ugh. He’s SO right! i have forgotten.

While i don’t necessarily agree with how he’s chosen to be kind and repay their graciousness, he’s not wrong at all. i am.

And i apologized. And i told him he is right.

To which he didn’t respond. But he didn’t need to. We both know where we both stand.

And i also know that a regretful, remorseful, raw butt will ensue. And to that end, we both know i will accept it, as it is appropriate to do so.

Ugh. Now i am dreading tomorrow….. but….

It is what it is now.

Hugs,

Marie

256 – Friday – my New (Old) Normal

This week is mostly done. And so far, i have held myself together … mostly. Okay, kinda sorta.

And so far, i have escaped a spanking. Mostly. Unless you count Maintenance Friday, then i definitely did NOT escape a spanking. (It hurt! It needed to. i truly needed it to. i was much happier afterward. Helped to screw my head on straight!)

But before this morning…. My emotions have been ALL over the place. i’ve been extremely happy for our son, extremely sad for me, and incredibly angry and annoyed with David.

But then also incredibly in love and happy with David too.

David has made me very well aware that i am NOT using the word Sir enough. He’s made me aware that i am “only a submissive when (i) want to be!” And he’s allowed me to be emotional. He’s allowed me to be a Mom who is sad and NOT the best submissive wife i desire to be.

But then he reminded me of the commitment I made to be submissive by spanking me today. On this Friday. We resumed Maintenance.

This week, another submissive blogger than i follow (and admire) blogged about respect. It stuck. She wrote some good stuff and it made me start thinking about how DISrespectful i have been this week.

She mentioned that the #1 thing men seek in a wife is one who shows respect to him. And related, the man wants her to show appreciation for him too. i did a google search and found a LOT of support for what she wrote. It may inspire me to write more about respect another day. But for now…. It reminded me today that i need to be more respectful.

i need to adopt and accept my new normal. And that new normal is more respectful, appreciative, and responsive to David! i mean, he is my #1! If it weren’t for him, i wouldn’t have a son at all to be happy or sad about!

In this new normal, i was spanked this Friday morning. Okay, so that’s the old normal too, but it was good to have a reminder that i need to: 1) respect for the way we do things is still the right way, 2) respect for David as the man of my life, and 3) my Son is in his place living his best life.

And that spanking is my grounder. i am spanked because i need it. i am a better woman, wife, and mother after i show respect by saying Sir, loving my husband, and ….

Getting naked in my living room every night now too. Yep, that’s part of my new normal too!

There’s good AND bad when things change. But accepting and even embracing the new normal is the way forward. In the nude. In my living room, with David staring at my boobs, touching my clit, and denying me the orgasm i seek.

i love it! My new and old normal!

Hugs,

Marie

255 – All aboard… the emotional train wreck

If today is any indication of what the rest of the week holds, i am already SURE that this week will end up with me in trouble. And i will be shocked if i don’t end up being spanked. Hard.

What’s more is… a spanking may help ground me.

Despite knowing this will be where i end up, i don’t see any real way to head it off at the pass! i am now just accepting it for what it is.

It is what it is.

What the heck am i talking about? yea, well….

This week, on Wednesday, we are taking our only child (son) to college. And I am full of emotions…. happy, sad, stressful, weak, strong, bossy, organized, hanging on while letting go … i am being “that Mom” right now who can’t hold it together.

This morning i almost got into a fight with David… over toilet paper. Yeah, TP! i thought the toilet room had a run out, so i went to get more from the stash in the garage. On my way back David says, “there’s some in there.” i’m like, “No, just ran out.”

He jumps in front of me and goes to look. Yes, i missed it. There was a 4-pack in there. And i got irritated and said, “Were you just wanting to prove me wrong or what?”

Yea, that didn’t make him happy. He gave me a lecture about how i only want to submit when it’s convenient for me and that’s not how it’s supposed to work. The whole time he was talking i was thinking, “yea, right. Whatever.”

I was smart enough to NOT say that out loud, which saved my ass.

Later at work, i texted him saying, “i’d like to talk about this morning but i can’t find any way to say something that is respectful.”

He texted back, “I should’ve realized you are stressed this week, so much so that you are in your own world and oblivious to your surroundings.”

Well, that angered me too. i mean, it might’ve been true but i sure didn’t think so! But again, i was smart enough to not say anything.

That’s how my Monday morning and week started.

Wednesday will be tough. There are some positives to being an empty nester, namely our D/s dynamic will be easier.

Then Thursday will happen too. i have an initial meet and greet set up to meet a potential 2nd Dom. David knows and approves. He knows a lot about me already, including that i have a chastity belt. He told me to wear it to coffee. Not sure yet if i will. We will see what happens. One step at a time. This happened after David told me he wanted to learn to spank/discipline more effectively. i decided to see if i could make that happen and here we are with a potential match. Maybe that spanking that i think is inevitable will be delivered by this new Dom. Time will tell.

By Friday, i may be sad or flat out depressed without my son. i may be ecstatic with a potential new Dom. i may be exhausted from a draining week. All i know for sure is that this much chaos in one week usually adds up to be a recipe for disaster and usually leads to me running my mouth in a bad way which usually gets myself spanked.

So while i see a train wreck of emotions about to happen for me, and trouble on the other side, i don’t know how to change it. i don’t want to NOT feel emotions this week, but i don’t want to do it at my bottom’s expense either!

i hope i survive!

Hugs,

Marie

253 – Wait for it…..

On Saturday, David arrived back home. Because it was daylight hours, a weekend day, and we have a teen in our house, i knew nothing regarding discipline for my poor choices would happen. Not to say David couldn’t find a way to get he/i alone if he needed to, but it was easier to just wait.

As we were heading toward bed, i was starting to feel anxious and asked, “Sir, are you going to punish me?

He said, “I haven’t decided yet.” i see.

And we went to sleep.

i usually wake before him, and Sunday was no different. i fully expected that once he was awake that on morning, he would indeed spank me. i was ready to accept it.

When he woke up, i had decided i would make his coffee and have it ready for him. i had already been thinking i ought to start doing that as another way to serve (and submit to) him. He was impressed and loved it. i was glad he didn’t honk i was trying to just kiss his ass in an attempt to avoid punishment, as that really wasn’t my intent at all!

And then throughout the day, nothing any different than the day before. We went about our day, our son was in/out, and no spanking or other punishment at all. The longer the day went, the more anxious i became. i even asked a second time, to which i heard, “maybe I am making you think.”

He didn’t have to finish that sentence or thought outloud. i knew he meant it to say that NOT getting a spanking, yet anyway, is definitely part of his plan and his punishment. He was making me think about my actions, be in tune with him, be accepting of the punishment… even the patience to wait to receive it … if “it” was to be a thing at all!

Towards the end of the day, i relaxed into it and decided, “i guess punishment won’t happen after all.” And i couldn’t quite decide if i thought that was a good or a BAD thing!

David was watching a tv show in the living room that i had no interest in, so i went to our bedroom and turned on the tv there. We do that sometimes, without issue for anyone. After a bit, he came in to see me. He got up near the bed, and i thought, “oh here we go! Punishment time!”

Instead though, he came to me and took hold of the zipper to my shorts and pulled it down. His hand went into my pants, and i spread my legs to make room for his hand. Of course, he didn’t pull my shorts down, only the zipper, so there still wasn’t much room at all. So i decided to try to make it easier on him where i lifted my butt and started to pull my shorts off.

That’s when he said, “I didn’t say to take your pants off.”

“i was just trying to make it easier for you Sir.”

“If I needed help, or to make anything easy, I will let you know.”

Well, i wanted his full touch, so i smiled a sly, sexy smile, and kept pulling my shorts off. He didn’t like that answer. He said, “ok, well… you didn’t listen. So now I’m done.”

With that he pulled his hand out of my, 3/4ths of the way off my butt, shorts and he left the room. i was sorely disappointed. i debated “what to do now.”

i opted to wait. i didn’t even pull my shorts up for awhile. i just sat there and waited. At least until i had to go pee, which was about 20-minutes later. Afterward, i texted him from the bedroom to the living room (yep, one room away!) and i said, “you could come back now Sir.”

And he texted back, “And you could listen to me now too!”

Ugh, now he has TWO reasons to discipline me! NOT what i had wanted or intended at all!

So i texted back, “Very true.” What more was there to say really?

With my shorts (fully) on, about another hour later, he came back. It was such a veryyyyy long wait! And he repeated the process.

This time i didn’t help him at all. He tweaked my clit, teasing it til i begged to cum. He said, “Nope! You already did that!”

And he was done again and leftthe room again. Of course he did!

A few hours later, we went to sleep. Again. This time i was convinced, “ok, no spanking for me after all. Just a lot of anticipation and edging. Okay, i can deal with that.”

And that brought us to Monday morning. Work day. David works from home but i do not. So i was preparing to get ready for the day, and as i got out of the shower, David said, “it’s time.”

And like the dumb ass that i am, i was confused (because i thought it wasn’t now going to happen and had put it out of my mind). and said, “excuse me Sir?”

And i heard the words, “Assume The Position”

Oh geez. Here we go. Here i deceived myself to think it was NOT going to happen. i was in full cringe, dread, “don’t want it do this!” mode. But i did. i got into position in a hurry, as he was waiting on me to do so.

And he got the paddle out and started to spank. From the get go, it hurt. It stung pretty hard, and he wasn’t even smacking me any too hard. In fact, at one point he even commented to that fact. i knew he was right but i had also just gotten out of the shower, been out of practice (haven’t had many spankings at all in 2022), and wasn’t even in the right mindset. So of course, it hurt more than usual at this point too!

He swatted fast over and over. i didn’t have time to think or count. He asked, “do you know why we are here?”

i could barely talk as i was focused on staying still, accepting this with grace, and …. breathing without yelling out, all at the same time. So i didn’t respond any too quick, which wasn’t too good either.

i finally eked out the words, “because i didn’t listen to you… i orgasmed without permission and i took my shorts off… and i askedmultiple times when this would happen.”

And he smacked a few times extra hard then and said, “Correct!”

When he was done, i was grateful and was glad it was over. i sat up and he said, “don’t you want to thank me??”

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir for caring and loving me enough to keep me in line and deliver punishment when i deserve it.”

“You are welcome. Now kiss me and let’s go have a good day.”

And that’s exactly what we did!

Sometime mid-morning he texted me, “butt still sore?” So i was still on his mind!

i responded with, “Not really Sir…. While a fast and hard spanking is effective, if you want it to last more long term, you’d have to repeat it say 3-5 minutes later, or maybe after a warm up, then give a few really hard swats too. i am not completely sure, but that’s what i think.”

He said, “Good to know.”

And that’s that! Next time may be different, time will tell. And I will have to wait for it!

Hugs,

Marie

238 – 1st spanking in 2022.

It was bound to happen.

Me doing something that deserved discipline.

i screwed up.

And i really must say, i was relieved that this ended in discipline. NO, i didn’t WANT to be spanked, but i did deserve it. And thankfully, my Sir responded to the situation with the best solution possible.

He used the paddle. My ass was turned a very bright red tonight.

For the first time in more than 6-months, the paddle collided with my ass repeatedly. It was well overdue and frankly, more than once i had already deserved this but it wasn’t until today that i was disciplined for my actions.

And let me tell you…. It HURT!

W-H-A-T happened?

Yeah, so our son’s car needed new tires. We’ve talked about it for a few weeks already. It was decided that since the best place to get the tires was just 2-miles from my office, that today i would drive his car to work, get the new tires, and all would be good.

As i was packing up this morning to head out, i said goodbye and David said, “you are driving his car right?”

We had not spoken at all about this plan for about 2-days now and in that time, i had forgotten. It must have shown on my face as before i even responded verbally, David said, “you DO remember, right?”

i did not. He had to remind me by saying, “Son. Car. New tires. Today….”

Oh yeah. Ok. That.

“Yes, of course i am still driving his car and going to get new tires.”

An hour later, the new tires were on, i paid, and left.

i wasn’t but about 2-blocks away from the tire shop, headed to my office for the day, when my phone rang. It was David.

i answered and he said, “WHY did you use your credit card to pay for the tires?”

[He gets texts for any charge in excess of $200 on any of my cards…. He says it’s for security purposes, but i won’t lie, i think it’s also about keeping me on budget too. He while I don’t think i need him checking on me like this, it’s nothing i will ever get to be changed either. Ok, maybe another blog post topic here… back to this one though….]

At that very moment, i was confused. My exact thought was, “i wasn’t going to steal the tires. How else was i suppose to pay?”

Before i could respond aloud he said, “I told you to put it on their store credit card that we have so we would get 6-months no interest, no payments. There’s no reason to pay the money now if we don’t need to.”

Oh yeah. Ok. That. [Second time in 2-hours i have thought those words!]

This time though, i actually said the words aloud too. In addition, i also said, “i will call and see if it can be moved from my card to the store card.”

And what i heard back was, “Yes, you will! You need to see if you can fix this.”

i just said, “Yes Sir.”

With that, i heard a click. He hung up. i wasn’t surprised. i’d probably have done the same if things were reversed.

Not even 10-minutes later i get a text, “is it fixed?” i had barely had enough time to get back to my office and get the call made so i had not had enough time to get him [i think he assumed I would forget to call. Reasonable assumption given the way the morning was going!]

That’s when I had to say, “well… not exactly Sir.”

This is when i had to also tell him that the store had told me that David had to go to the store with the card or his ID directly because the card was officially in his name and even though we have a joint account, they can’t “just move a charge to another person’s card when the person isn’t here to accept the charge.” This is a pet peeve of mine. When it is a joint account in their system AND on the card, why exactly is it that i am not authorized to use it?! Whatever… back to this blog again….

And the response i got back from David was, “hmm”

Then some time later, David texted again, “are you saying I have to go fix this for you?”

“Unfortunately, Yes.”

“I see. Do I need the receipt/paperwork?”

“No.”

Another few minutes later, “I’m going now. This better not be a waste of my time!”

This is where i started to second-guess… what if the clerk i spoke to didn’t get the facts right, do i need to meet David over there now to explain my side, since i have the paperwork/ receipt, maybe i ought to go give it to David now…… Please Dear God let this all work out. Amen!

About 30-more minutes, “you are lucky. I got it fixed. But we will talk about this when you get home tonight.”

Thank you God!

“Thank you Sir. Understood.”

Not another thing was said until i was home, but not even immediately then either.

i was anxious about it as soon as i walked in the door and he could tell. i wasn’t sure if i should say something or not. i wasn’t sure if i were to say something, what exactly that would be either.

Nothing was said. At all. i began to wonder if he just forgot. Or maybe it was forgiven.

We ate dinner, started watching tv, and nothing. i began to be disappointed. I didn’t exactly want to be disciplined, but i knew if he did it, i fully deserved it. AND it would be of his own accord, as opposed to him role-playing the script i had set forth (as in how it was before.). This was a test for our entire D/s relationship actually! This was a pivotal form in the road, and I needed to be patient to see which path David would take.

As well, the opposite was true. If he did not mention the situation, act upon the discipline needed, and it was never mentioned again, i was going to have to accept that too.

Either way… i was sure i’d shed tears tonight …. i just wasn’t sure what the catalyst would be.

Then all of a sudden the one tv show he had turned on was over and he said, “ready to talk?”

“Yes Sir.”

“You agree a spanking is necessary, correct?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Then I will let the paddle speak for itself.”

“Yes Sir.”

So i Assumed The Position, for the first time in more than 6-months. And i waited. And i prayed. “Lord, please provide me with the ability to listen to David as he speaks. Please help me to accept this discipline with grace. Please help David to deliver the exact right number of spanks that will cause me remorse and regret, so i learn from this. Please help him to have confidence in his delivery, to know this is needed and good, and will bond us closer once again.”

And the door opened. Here we go…..

He picked up the paddle, that was resting in its place… on my butt. i immediately cringed and instinctively tensed all my muscles, expecting to immediately feel that first blow. Instead of feeling the paddle though, instead he spoke aloud.

“Are you ready for this?”

“i accept this, but i do not think i am ready for it.”

He asked why was i not ready and i said, “because it has been more than 6-months.”

He said, “Do you think it’s going to hurt?”

“i have NO doubt it will hurt.”

“Then let’s get to it.”

He knew i was consenting. He knew i knew it was deserved. He knew i knew he was my dominant Sir.

That was when i felt it. The paddle collided with my ass for the first time in 2022!

i flinched hard. i bit my bottom lip.

And the words, “oh Fuck that hurt!” formed on my lips. Thankfully i said it quiet enough he did not hear. He hates cuss words. And he especially would have hated me saying it with regard to this spanking. And even more especially with the first swat too! i was clearly NOT accepting this with grace and immediately knew i had to change my thoughts.

By the time i thought all that, another and another, and ANOTHER spank hit my uncovered bottom.

i heard him say, “So the next time I tell you to do something are you going to forget?”

Was i really this forgetful? Or am i selfish to where i just didn’t care enough to slow down enough to pay attention. Neither is a good answer.

Smack

SMACK!

S-M-A-C-K!!

“I asked you a question. Are you ignoring me? That is NOT a wise decision!”

i was NOT ignoring him, but rather trying to form words between the spanks. i find it hard to focus on the words as i am being spanked where my mind is racing with all sorts of things (as noted above), not to mention things like, “Do NOT move. Stay in position!”

i finally muttered, “i am not ignoring you Sir. i will remember next time.”

“Do you realize you would have cost us a lot of money if I couldn’t have fixed this?”

Smack

SMACK

“Yes Sir.”

That’s when he held the paddle against my ass for a second. Whenever he does that, i know he’s pausing the swats for a second and i was grateful for the slow down. This time though, it wasn’t a pause or a break, it was to give a punctuation mark to the next set of spanks. Without preamble, he pulled the paddle back and smacked me about 5-times in rather rapid succession.

To be clear, while the paddle had rained down on my pour naked ass quite frequently at this point, i was abundantly aware he was NOT using any real force. He was indeed “letting the paddle speak for itself.”

“And do you realize I asked you to do this because it was easy and convenient for both of us really? Me going up there to fix your problem was not ideal or convenient whatsoever!”

He pulled the paddle away and i flinched. i flinched without even getting hit yet. i just anticipated it and moved instinctively, as if on command.

He asked, “why are you flinching when the paddle isn’t even touching you?”

“Anticipation Sir.”

The tears were forming, but not yet flowing.

i was trying to cry. i wanted the tears to flow freely. Yes, it hurt me physically AND mentally to be spanked tonight but this was a GOOD hurt and a GOOD cry that was needed. i needed to feel the release of emotion.

As he then held the paddle against my ass, he asked me, “do you think you’ve learned? Will this happen again?”

i paused as I thought, “The tears haven’t flowed yet. i need him to keep going to get these tears and this release to come.” But then, is that me topping from the bottom again? Do i deserve to feel this cathartic emotional release? Do i trust him to know when enough is enough?

“Yes Sir, i have learned. No Sir, this will not happen again. i will pay more attention to you.”

“G-O-O-D!” he said, with the layering on of one more good, hard, and final SMACK of the paddle.

That’s when he sat me up and said, “we are done. You are forgiven. Now go swim in our pool! Get the sting out!”

“Thank you Sir. i love you!”

After confirming his love too, he grabbed my hand and we went outside to our backyard. He was fully dressed and i had nothing on at all. He motioned me toward the pool and said, “now go on in!” And so i did.

He sat on the chair and watched me swim naked. He took my picture at some point too. i have yet to see that picture. That’s ok.

We were both pleased.

i expected the tears were going to flow tonight. They never did, but nearly did. i am just grateful it was a good tearing-up and not a bad one! i am glad i got the very red, expected-to-be-sore-tomorrow ass that i deserved.

i am now (incredibly) hopeful that our D/s relationship is seemingly back on track… or maybe not on the same track, but a better one… time will tell. For the first time in 6-months, i am hopeful again too!

Cheers!

(i pray the first 2023 spanking post isn’t 6-months into the year! While we have been doing this now since late 2018, i didn’t blog a ton at first and didn’t actually start posting a “first of the year spank” post until 2020….. but if you want to read about my other firsts for that yesr, for at least for the few most recent years, here ya go: …..2021 – 1st spanking – Jan 10 and 1st spanking – 2020 – Jan 9 )

Hugs,

Marie