255 – All aboard… the emotional train wreck

If today is any indication of what the rest of the week holds, i am already SURE that this week will end up with me in trouble. And i will be shocked if i don’t end up being spanked. Hard.

What’s more is… a spanking may help ground me.

Despite knowing this will be where i end up, i don’t see any real way to head it off at the pass! i am now just accepting it for what it is.

It is what it is.

What the heck am i talking about? yea, well….

This week, on Wednesday, we are taking our only child (son) to college. And I am full of emotions…. happy, sad, stressful, weak, strong, bossy, organized, hanging on while letting go … i am being “that Mom” right now who can’t hold it together.

This morning i almost got into a fight with David… over toilet paper. Yeah, TP! i thought the toilet room had a run out, so i went to get more from the stash in the garage. On my way back David says, “there’s some in there.” i’m like, “No, just ran out.”

He jumps in front of me and goes to look. Yes, i missed it. There was a 4-pack in there. And i got irritated and said, “Were you just wanting to prove me wrong or what?”

Yea, that didn’t make him happy. He gave me a lecture about how i only want to submit when it’s convenient for me and that’s not how it’s supposed to work. The whole time he was talking i was thinking, “yea, right. Whatever.”

I was smart enough to NOT say that out loud, which saved my ass.

Later at work, i texted him saying, “i’d like to talk about this morning but i can’t find any way to say something that is respectful.”

He texted back, “I should’ve realized you are stressed this week, so much so that you are in your own world and oblivious to your surroundings.”

Well, that angered me too. i mean, it might’ve been true but i sure didn’t think so! But again, i was smart enough to not say anything.

That’s how my Monday morning and week started.

Wednesday will be tough. There are some positives to being an empty nester, namely our D/s dynamic will be easier.

Then Thursday will happen too. i have an initial meet and greet set up to meet a potential 2nd Dom. David knows and approves. He knows a lot about me already, including that i have a chastity belt. He told me to wear it to coffee. Not sure yet if i will. We will see what happens. One step at a time. This happened after David told me he wanted to learn to spank/discipline more effectively. i decided to see if i could make that happen and here we are with a potential match. Maybe that spanking that i think is inevitable will be delivered by this new Dom. Time will tell.

By Friday, i may be sad or flat out depressed without my son. i may be ecstatic with a potential new Dom. i may be exhausted from a draining week. All i know for sure is that this much chaos in one week usually adds up to be a recipe for disaster and usually leads to me running my mouth in a bad way which usually gets myself spanked.

So while i see a train wreck of emotions about to happen for me, and trouble on the other side, i don’t know how to change it. i don’t want to NOT feel emotions this week, but i don’t want to do it at my bottom’s expense either!

i hope i survive!




  1. Hello Marie,
    I recently finished binging your blog from the beginning. If I may make an observation, your ass seams to be in the most trouble when you are having big feelings, such as the ones you are having now, and you try to keep them contained and bottled up. Your ass seems to fair much better when you are able to express yourself to David before your feelings explode out of you in a way that is not as respectful. My hope is that you will be able to find a way to release some of the emotions that are building up so that you can support and celebrate your son’s newest journey without creating hurt feelings between yourself and David.

    • Nightfire, I’m honored that I’ve written a blog that was binge-worthy. Thank you. I would agree with your observations about when I get into the most trouble. It’s (usually/ almost always) when I have the most emotions flying around and those emotions come out in inappropriate ways. I hope I’m wrong about this week, but I just can’t help but think I won’t be able to deal with lows and highs all too well. Thanks for commenting and for reading and I hope you’ll be back. Marie

  2. Marie, every day life gives us challenges, sending a child off to college is like a repeat of their first day going to school, Mom’s don’t like cutting the apron strings but it’s good for all involved. Do not take out your frustrations on David as i am sure your bottom will pay the price, more so now that you and David will be alone. For the sake of your bottom be a good girl, Sir

    • Azpop1, I wouldn’t say I don’t want to cut the strings so much as I don’t know how to cut the strings. Being a “mom” has defined so much of me for 18-years, in every-single-day, with him in our household. So to now move into an empty-nester kind of Mom, it’s so foreign that I don’t know how. But you are right, this is good for all. Hugs!

  3. You will survive. However your bottom may be in serious condition with bruising, redness, and a high temperature not to mention the soreness.
    Having the young one leave the nest seems to be hardest on mama. Getting grounded will help and from previous posts I am sure that David, with the aid of his paddle (or cane)will do a thorough job of restoring you to the place you need to be..
    PS. He can do it in the middle of the living room in broad daylight while you screech and yell and cry aloud.
    Hang in there.

  4. i’m glad i’m not the only one ‘all up in my feels’ it’s only Tuesday and i’m already over this week, maybe hormones, maybe summer road trip fever 🤔 who knows but i definitely understand the empty nest syndrome! That part does get better, i promise!! And oh the freedom you’ll have to have fun!!! Run around the house naked if you want to! Go 24/7 TPE! Heck go hog wild on each other! Just remember to put your self first and listen to your body’s non verbal cues when it comes to your emotions and mental health! Hugs 💗

    • Uniqiemystiquegirl, very good words to think on and remember, especially your last part about “listen to your body” cues and me tribal health are so important. And I suspect I’ll be naked a lot more now too! 😉

  5. Good Luck on Wednesday and accept that tears will come! Bring extra command strips, trash bags, dolly/cart and extension cord/surge protectors. Sending hugs from one partial empty nester (4/5 have flown the nest) to you and David. ❤️

    • Thank you Shana, I appreciate the words and the hugs! I’ve thought about how much better it would be if I had more kids … I could go home and be with them now. But… at some point, they all leave (hopefully anyway! Lol) and having to try to repeat this emotional rollercoaster is not anything I’d want to do! Can’t imagine me doing this 5x’s! I admire you!

  6. Hi,
    I think you need to go and ask for a punishment or a spanking.
    You’ve confessed here, but we’re not your Dom and can’t provide grounding connection, or motivation to be polite.

    • V – thanks for the words. Before I even saw this message, I did talk to David and asked for him to spank me. Unfortunately we both agreed, we just didn’t have the time or space to do so. But he promised to keep me in check this week too. So maybe with his knowledge and protection, I may escape running (completely) amuck! Marie

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