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47 – Submission is easy… until it’s not

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Domestic Discipline, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Punishment, Spanking, Submission, Submissive Wife, Wife Spanking. No Comments on 47 – Submission is easy… until it’s not

Most days, submission is easy. Some days…. not so.

SUBMISSION – it isn’t a difficult concept really.

RULES = FOLLOWED = REWARDS

RULES = NOT FOLLOWED = PUNISHMENTS

And the rules i have, just really aren’t a big deal. i mean, David is fair and reasonable. And he doesn’t demand much. In fact, if i were in charge, i’d have more rules and require more compliance… but that would lead to bigger rewards and especially more punishment too!

But i think, in some sense anyway, because David is sooooo very reasonable, i probably use that to my advantage. i don’t exactly think this through mind you. It’s not like, i’m over here going, “Hey, let me take advantage of Sir to my benefit and get what i want under the guise of submission.” i’m NOT thinking that what-so-ever! But maybe, on some level, that may be kinda-sorta-what’s happening – i dunno?!?!?!

So what am i specifically rambling about?!? Okay – here’s the message of the day….

David had to go out of the country for work for almost a week. And where we was at, is/ was 7 hours ahead of me. i tend to get sexually wound-up in the evenings, which was in the middle of the night where he was. i have a “RULE OF SUBMISSION” to ask permission to masturbate and orgasm. But HOW can i do that when he’s sleeping?!

Okay, you probably know what happened…..

Y-E-S – okay, i did it! Without permission. Twice. Okay, so maybe once was a ‘oops, i should have asked’ but the second time…. no excuse, right? well…… i happen to agree. But i felt like i ‘needed‘ it. There are times when i feel like i just HAVE to cum….RIGHT….NOW. And i don’t know how to control that. And when i couldn’t ask… well… i just let things happen. uncontrollable.

And the day before David came home, i confessed. He said very little. When i asked about what he was thinking or why he hadn’t said anything, his response was, “There’s nothing I can do from here. And when I get home, I will deal with this. Until then, we will not discuss it.”

Yikes.

Okay, i deserve it.

When he got home… my ass was turned VERY RED. i got a spanking that hurt-like-hell. We do have yellow (slow down) and red (STOP) emergency words, but i have NEVER used either one and i have ZERO plans to EVER do so. i figure if i ever get close to that trouble, i will use it, but honestly, i deserve the punishment at the time i get it. Because, again, i don’t really get into trouble much and when i do get in trouble, David is very reasonable. And again, i’d be much more harsh than he is if i were in control.

He made me stand in the corner. Naked. And wait.

And wait.

And when he came to the bedroom, he said, “Assume the position”. Which means i stand with feet on the floor, hands on the bed, and ready to be spanked. i did.

He got the paddle out. i could hear it. i cringed. But he couldn’t see my face because he’s behind me. And yet, i’m accepting. i know this is going to hurt.

And he hits my ass about 10 x’s all over. Warm up. Already it hurts and this is JUST a warm up.

And then he pulls back and paused. i cringed more as i knew it was about to start.

S-M-A-C-K. WOW. It came hard.

Again, and again and again. And it happened so many times i lost count. He doesn’t make me count. But i do. Somewhere around 25 i lost complete count and had to focus on not saying yellow. i didn’t want to say that at all. i knew it was earned fair-and-square.

And finally, when tears were in my eyes, he stopped.

When he asked me if i was regretting my actions, i had to stop and think. i knew the right answer was ‘yes’ and in THIs moment i was…..but frankly, when i get horny and feel like i’m not in control of my emotions, i would do it again. And again. Without asking. So i told him that i want to be regretful, but i don’t know that i am.

David decided that if i can’t help myself, maybe i need to be helped.

There’s preventative and detective type of punishment. Detective is after the fact getting punished. And then there’s preventative, as in, can’t get in trouble if you aren’t in that position in the first place.

So …. David told me i need preventative help…..

And now we are investigating and looking into locking female chastity belts. i am equally excited and fearful of this.

But so far – the ones we’ve found are SO DAMN EXPENSIVE! (HOLY CRAP!!!).

Anyone use or wear or buy these? Any you’d recommend? That are effective AND price-conscious?!

38 – Orgasm control sucks

Written by Marie on . Posted in Domestic Discipline, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Punishment, Submission. No Comments on 38 – Orgasm control sucks

So ever since i asked for a spanking, David has become ever the leader in our house. We had gotten away from DD … not from an intentional discussion or decision, but really just from “life” getting in the way.

And i realized how much i needed it, and i missed it, and i wanted it back. So i asked to be spanked. And i asked to go back to DD and him being the leader of our house. And ever since that day a month’ish ago…..

Now ….. he’s R-E-AL-L-Y in control.

And i didn’t appreciate how much control i had.

Specifically over my ability to pleasure myself and to orgasm.

But he wants control over my mind AND body. And in my head, i’m like, “YES! i want you in control.” But in my nether parts, i’m thinking more like, “he’s a man. He likes to be pleasured and i can get what i want by giving him what he wants”.

i tried hard to seduce Sir tonight. i was horny and wanted to have him. So i started by flirting. i did ask if i could kiss him. (He said yes). So i started out correctly. Then i sat beside him, took my top down, and started rubbing on him. Starting at his chest and working down.

And he grabbed my hand and said, “stop being so aggressive.”

i smiled and said, “i’d like to make you happy.”

He responded with, “NO, you want to make YOU happy.”

He knows me too well.

So he told me to stop or else i’d regret it. i didn’t. i kept on.

And he stood up and went and got the paddle.

He laid back down on the couch and looked me square in the eye with the paddle in hand and said, “are you sure you want to continue? You will regret it!”

So i stopped. And pouted. He told me to stop being a brat or else i’d regret that too.

Great. i’m turned on and can’t get him turned on. In all fairness, he WAS watching a tv show when i “got aggressive.”

So i sat on the floor next to him and waited. Topless of course.

When the second commercial came on, he said, “stand up.” So i did. And he said “because you made better choices in the end, i’m going to reward you. Show me that pussy.” So i lifted the nightgown i had on (a sexy one, not your grandma’s!) and because that was the only thing i had on, his tongue connected with my parts.

And oh-my…. i was in heaven and my eyes rolled back in my head. And when i asked if i could cum, he pulled away and said, “no.” And he was DONE.

What?? You are done?? You can’ttttttt be! NO… don’t stop…..

He said, “discipline. We need to work on it. With orgasms AND you’re ability to follow instructions the first time. Now go sit down and let me watch my show.”

So while i respect him, i don’t always listen to him. At least not the first time anyway. Ugh.

And he’s probably right about me needing to learn to listen the FIRST time, to follow directions, and understand great things come to those who wait. (Ok, fine…not “probably right”…. he IS right. Happy? i admitted it even to you!)

Additionally, there’s more than one way to get a point across. He didn’t have to use the paddle, just the sight of it and the orgasm control was all it took to have it’s full effect.

But now i reallyyyyyyyyyy want to cum.

When i told him that, he said, “maybe tomorrow.”

i’m going to struggle to wait til tomorrow. And i can only hope that tomorrow will be the day.

So that’s that. i officially don’t like orgasm control. But i do like David being in control…. i really do. i love him and our marriage…. leadership, denial, and punishments too. Really…. i mean it….punishments too – because while it hurts, it makes me show respect and submission and that is the biggest turn on of all!

Hugs,

Marie

24 – Playing without permission

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 24 – Playing without permission

Speaking of playing without permission, i decided to do just that yesterday.  i was in my own mind, having a fantastic fantasy, and decided to “play it out” in real life.  Problem was:  it was NOT with permission.

Here’s what happened ….David was tired, on a Saturday, and decided to take an afternoon nap. i was not tired.  And my mind wandered.  And i got horny.

i imagined my Sir saying, “while I am napping, I want you to lay on the bed next to me. Do NOT wake me up.  But DO play with yourself.  Get yourself wet.  VERY wet.  But do NOT cum.  You are NOT allowed to cum!  Do you understand me?”

Me: “Yes Sir.  But Sir, i don’t know how long you will sleep.  That could be hours!?”

David says, “I’m glad you understand.  But do you really think I care that you don’t know how long it will be?  I gave a directive and I expect you to follow it!  Any reason why you can’t??”

Me:  “No Sir”.

Sir: “Good!  Now be a good girl and help me have some good dreams and wake up to an amazing reality.  You are allowed to use any toys you like.  You are simply NOT to cum or wake me.  Now do you understand?”

Me: “Yes Sir”.

So i got out my inflatable dildo.  And i inserted it.  And i pumped it up.  And pulled it in and out.  And inflated it more and more.  i counted how many ‘pumps’ i did.  i got to 10 before it felt tight.  So then i did 5 more!  It stretched my pussy so much it hurt.  i made myself hold that pain and stretch for a count of 60-seconds. i wasn’t sure the tears wouldn’t fall, but i held them back. 

And i released all the air. It deflated.  That’s when i touched my clit with one hand and pulled the dildo in and out with the other.  i was getting seriously aroused and very wet indeed!  

That’s when i repeated the inflation.  And again, i counted how many pumps of the dildo that i did.  Since i did 15 before, i did 15 again. It was SO completely large and tight. i had to use one hand to hold the dildo in while holding the pump with the other.  And i pumped it 2 more times.  And held it.

ALRIGHT – TIME OUT – insert sound effects — screeeeeetch … roll back tape.  SO what exactly is reality and what is fantasy?!

WELL – all of the above actually happened… the EXCEPTION being for the actual conversation with and direction from Sir.  THAT part was in my head.  The rest – the dildo, the pumping, the holding, the stretching, the touching my clit – THAT part – that all happened in real life.

And THAT was when Sir woke up!  OH NO.  WHAT WILL BE THE CONSEQUENCES?!? (insert sound effects:  Dun, dun, Dun….)

So i’ll say – What did NOT happen was Sir waking up at that moment and in that position and saying, “Oh my Good Girl!  How fantastic! You know I’ve been stretching you in anticipation of getting my entire hand in that pussy of mine!  I am SO pleased you used this time to make that pussy of mine so ready for me!”

NOPE.  Instead, what i heard was, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  DID YOU HAVE PERMISSION FOR THAT???”

Me:  “Sir, can i explain?”

Sir:  “What’s to explain? It looks pretty obvious to me!”

Me: “Well, i had a fantasy….” (and i told him everything i told you above).

That’s when i heard him say, “Hold that pose.  Do NOT move”. 

That’s when he got off the bed (in real life) and disappeared into the bathroom.  When he came back, he took the dildo out. 

i was fully anticipating getting my ass beat raw.  But that was NOT what happened either!  Instead, he had lube in one hand, rubbing it onto his other. 

He said, “For this to work, you have to be VERY still and VERY relaxed.  Do NOT clinch your muscles or move your legs or ass one bit!”

Me:  “Yes Sir”.  (What?  i’m going to get my fantasy to become reality?!? And NOT get in trouble?!?!)

And he roughly and quickly pushed 2-fingers into my pussy.  i flinched.  And my muscles tightened.  That’s when the look on his face grimaced.  And i heard him say, “What part of ‘relax’ didn’t make sense?  relax.  NOW!”

Me:  “Yes Sir”. And i did. 

And all 4-of his fingers inserted into my cunt.  i focused on staying very relaxed and very calm.  i focused on my breathing.  

i heard Sir say, “Oh what a tight feeling.  Good Girl for not flinching that time.  Now just my thumb remains!”  And i felt it touch my clit for a second before it also went in.

WOW – that was SO tight. My back arched.  And that caused my pussy to also move positions.  And Sir took his free hand and slapped my tits. Followed by a hard squeeze of the nipples.  

i let out a yelp.  He said, “you deserved that!  Your movement caused my hand to hurt.  Do NOT move again or you will feel the same pain I feel!  Am I clear?!?!”

Me: “Yes Sir”.  And i kept repeating the words in my head “relax, relax, relax.  loose.  loose.  loose.  Wet.  wet. wet.”

And his hand pushed harder and further inside me. He was able to get about 3/4ths of it in.  And he wiggled his fingers.  THAT was such a turn on.  i was about to cum.  i could feel it.  i was already so wet and so turned on and now being in this position with David stretching inside me it was all too much.

i asked “Sir, may i cum now please?”

“No”

“PLEASE?”

“NO!”

And that was the very second he pulled it out and said, “You didn’t have permission to play with my pussy.  And now you are not allowed permission to cum either!”

Then David said, “Put the dildo back in.  Inflate it again. And turn over”

i did as i was told while he disappeared to the bathroom again.  i heard running water.  He’s cleaning up.  i heard a drawer.  i knew that was the paddle coming out.  

He said, “since you are so determined to have that cunt so stretched, I’m going to spank you hard now and you are NOT to allow that dildo to come out!  Do whatever you have to do, but it will NOT come out or we will start again!”

“Yes Sir”

He spanked me senseless and without mercy.  i deserved it.  i’d be lying if i didn’t admit too that i am glad i did it.  That fantasy come true was SO worth it.

But now today my ass is still sore as i type this.  But i’d do it again for THAT result!  🙂

23 – Cum on command AND only with permission

Written by Marie on . Posted in Forced Orgasm, Uncategorized. No Comments on 23 – Cum on command AND only with permission

Can you cum on command? i’m not allowed to touch myself without permission, and neither am I allowed to cum without permission.  In fact, i’m officially in ‘orgasm training’.  For anyone not familiar with that, it means i ask permission to cum and i can only do so when Sir says “yes, you may cum now.”

The idea is something like Pavlov’s dogs and i’ve even read stories about women who can ‘cum on command’.  They hear the words “yes, you may cum now” and even if they are in the grocery store, not being aroused or touched, cum on command.

i’m not entirely sure how i feel about that.  i want to be submissive, but cumming in the grocery store on command?  hmmm. 

On the one hand, that’s hot.  That’s erotic.  And that is submission at its finest!  i mean, even your BODY submits.  Not JUST your mind.

On the other hand, i’m not a dog.  Literally speaking here.  i’m NOT a “Pavlovian dog”. 

For what’s its worth, i’d say i cum MORE now than i did before.  Maybe it’s because David knows i’m not doing it on my own and maybe giving him that control is even more of a turn on?!  i dunno, but this is one happy sub.. until i cum in the grocery store without being touched! 

You?  Anyone want to cum on command?  Hot and sexy or dog-like?

Hugs,

Marie

18 – Red Beans and Rice.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Punishment, Submission. 8 Comments on 18 – Red Beans and Rice.

LONG post – sorry, but hopefully you will understand…. and read through anyway.  🙂

So today was NOT my best day.  And Sir is requiring a blog posting about it “now”.  So here i am, being vulnerable, and telling you how my day has gone.

USEFUL STORY FACTS.

Let me tell you about how my day started…

#1 – our son had a failed attempt to spend the night with a friend last night.  A friend was having a sleep over and at 3:00 am this morning son texted me asking to go get him and bring him home.  The (teen) boys had had a fight and he just wanted to leave.  So i was up earlyyyyy.  And i (basically) didn’t go back to sleep after getting him home and listening to him tell me the “whole story”.

#2 – a friend who lives out of State, who i haven’t seen in 10- years was in town for just the weekend and (after getting Sir’s approval) we agreed to get together this morning.   And i was super excited to get to see her today.

#3 – David was going to church early due to being on technical team and the original plan was that i would drop our son at church, and then go see said friend from there. (i was allowed to miss to go see my friend).

So with that.  i texted David at 8:00am to report the events with our son and to confirm it was okay for our son to skip church also.  Well, like all texting convos, while i was telling him about our son, he was asking me to do some tasks before i left.

He asked that i would rinse the RED BEANS and put them in water to soak.  And if i did that, the beans would then be ready to go when he was home from church, so he would set them to cooking to be ready for tonight’s dinner.

He proceeded to give me explicit directions on EXACTLY what to do to get the beans soaking in the way he wanted them.  This was all via text and between me saying, “yes Sir” i would also write more about our son’s mishaps that occurred overnight and got permission to allow our son to sleep in and also miss church.

So with that,  i went to the shower, dressed, and left the house.  Went to meet my friend.  Off and on texting with Sir about having fun, etc.

And a bit later,  i received a text from Sir that said, “Forget something??” after he had gotten home from church.

Oh crap.  i forgot the beans.  How to respond?  NO WAY i can deny that i didn’t know how to do it.  He texted EVERY step.  

i responded, “Yes Sir.  i did.  i forgot the beans.  i’m so very sorry”.

To which i received a text saying “What ELSE?“

What else?!  Uhmm.  NO idea…. Yikes.

i responded, “i’m not sure i know of anything else Sir.”

To which i received a text saying, “Your Collar?!”

(i have a collar that while it’s not been exactly or explicitly made clear when it is expected to be on or off, i basically “just know”.  And it is basically, “All the time, but especially when leaving the house”.  So i knew this was a time i should have worn it!)

Oh double crap.  i clearly wasn’t thinking about anything Sir wanted or expected when i was dressing and leaving to meet with my friend!

i responded, “yes Sir.  i have failed to wear it today.  i’m sorry.”

To which i received a “Hmm” text back.  Oh triple crap.  NOT good!

Well, he didn’t text again.  And the entire thing weighed heavy on my mind the rest of my friend meeting.  And i texted, “i’m heading home now” at the conclusion of our meeting.

And i got a text back that said, “You need to stop and buy a bag of Red beans.”

“Yes Sir”.

i did.

And with that, Sir greets me and says, “I’m going to take a nap.  We will deal with you after that!”

The waiting continues.  The weight on my mind is NOT alleviated at ALL yet.

After Sir gets up, he says, “Go to the bedroom, take off all your clothes, put ON YOUR COLLAR and wait for me on the bed.  I’m going to order pizza so we have SOMETHING to eat for dinner!”

Five very long minutes later…..

He comes in, with the bag of red beans that i had bought, and says, “You’ve had trouble listening and follow through with tasks today. When I tell you to do something, I expect it to be done.  Now you have to learn a lesson.”

And he proceeded to pour the beans onto the floor, near the wall.   He points to it.  He says “Kneel.  Now.  Put your nose to the wall.  You will be here until the pizza is delivered.”

And he left.

WELL – the first thoughts i had was, “This isn’t as bad as i feared.  In fact, i’m not sure this will be any consequence or punishment at all!”  But that feeling did NOT last long!

The minutes ticked away.  My knees started to feel it.  i shifted my weight from left to right.  i thought, “Wow, that hurt!” but i also felt the beans “move”.  Well, i wasn’t too sure how Sir would respond if he came back and found that the beans were basically NOT under my knees.  So i leaned back, pushed them together in a cohesive pile, and went back to position.

OH MY GOSH.  MISTAKE.  THAT HURT!

And i waited.  My back was starting to hurt from leaning into the wall for my nose to touch.  So now my knees AND my back hurt.

And he came back.  He asked, “How are we doing??”  i had NO real idea how to respond.  i worried that saying i was in pain would seem like a complaint, but to NOT say that would be a lie.  So i opted for the truth to which he responded with, “GOOD!”

That’s when he slipped his fingers between my legs and i squirmed.  OUCH.  That squirm made the beans shift and sent pain through my knees.  He saw the movement and said, “DO NOT MOVE! And don’t even think of Coming!”.  He rubbed my clit and it was wet in an instant.  i always get wet when he touches me.  And then he pushed a finger in my ass.  In. Out.  In. Out.  Deeper in.  All the way out.  Faster in.  Faster out.

My head leaned back.  i could feel the orgasm building.  And he said, “Nose on the wall!  I said do NOT move!” and he pulled fingers out and slapped my ass.  Over and over.  And while it didn’t hurt, it did a nice warm-up too!  And i did not and was not allowed to cum.

And he left.

And i waited.  And the beans shifted.  So i shuffled them back together.  Again.  And IT HURT!  You’d think i’d have learned the first time!  But no, i didn’t.  This time, tears came to my eyes when i made myself get back in place.

45-long-minutes-later, i heard the door bell ring.  i was never so happy to hear that bell!

And just a couple of minutes after that, Sir came in and asked, “Have you learned that you need to remember to do as i ask?”

“Oh yes, Sir, i have!”

“Do your knees hurt?”

“Oh yes, Sir, they do!”

“Good!” (then he told me to stand, gave me forgiveness kisses and hugs) and he also said, “Now get dressed, get a Ziploc and clean up the beans.  Do not throw them away.  Keep them.  i may need to repeat this at some point!  Then take a picture of your knees.  Keep it as a reminder.  And let’s go eat dinner… albeit PIZZA and NOT red beans and rice!”

“Yes Sir”

And we ate Pizza.   Afterward he said, “Now go blog about this.  I want you to remember this! and post the Picture with it”

In case you are wondering, YES, those are my knees in this picture above.  (Sexy, right?! LOL).  And 2-hours later, they are still indented, although not as bad.  And they still sting too!

Red beans will be tomorrow’s meal.  And i hope to NEVER have this repeated.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie