Sir used me in a way that pleased us both!
And i didn’t say a word to him. i just decided to trust him and be happy in it. No matter what came of it…. or didn’t. And he allowed me to orgasm over and over.
(Thank you D for your comments… it made me think about trust, about letting him be in control, and about the sub mindset…. and i appreciated it so very much!)
i’m very pleasantly happy as i go to sleep!
Hugs,
Marie
Today i orgasmed…. Without permission. It’s been a long established rule… that is NOT allowed.
This. After having just done so well with edging AND David being so kind just one day prior. 🥴
For a long time now, David & i both have known that i love to have my puss filled. Like really filled. Completely Full.
He has been working toward the ultimate goal of fisting. And it gets me super turned on when he decides he wants to try it. And this morning David told me he wanted to try.
To date we have not succeeded in this. But to even get close (to fisting) it takes a lot of lube, so he told me start edging, get myself (naturally) wet, and he would be in afterward. So i was excited. Super excited. And started.
When he came in, i was getting fairly wet already. He liked it.
He took the bottle of lube and squeezed some out onto my clit as i was also touching it. As he was about to start taking over where i was working, he looked me straight in the eye and said, “I like what I see!”
And that sent me over the edge!
i orgasmed without permission.
And he looked at me with incredulity and said, “Did you just cum? Without permission?”
And i started laughing. Out loud.
Not the right emotion, but i was still technically in the midst of the orgasm, and his surprise and response made me smile… and laugh.
He smiled and said, “well, that’s all you get then! Get dressed and off to work with you!” (And he didn’t seem mad at all. But was most definitely done.)
A few hours later, i got a text, “do you feel remorse?”
i thought about it for a hot second… and… i didn’t.
So, i texted, “No Sir”
And he responded, “you should.”
i responded, “i’d agree.”
He said, “but you don’t, do you?”
i texted, “does it count that i know i should be?? 😉”
He said, “No. Expect repercussions.”
Tonight….. after watching tv for awhile, he said, “are you feeling remorse now?”
Me: not really.
Him: then it’s time. Go Assume the Position.
And i did.
And now i sit here typing …. feeling a lot more remorseful than i did a mere 30-minutes ago. My ass is red and sensitive to the touch,
And he then said, “and don’t think for a minute that this is also your maintenance. That will happen as always (on Friday morning….which is tomorrow…. approximately 12-hours from now.)”
Sure wishing i’d felt a lot more remorseful on my own accord. Maybe at the end of maintenance he will try to fist me, cuz i sure didn’t get any filled-to-the-top feelings today! But i kinda doubt it.
Hugs,
Marie
Sometimes i dream up scenarios in my head about how D/s with DD could go.
i don’t know if you’d call that a “fantasy” or not, but here’s one such fictional story that i imagined in my head today…….
BACKGROUND:
i have a chastity belt on order. And i just finished a 7-day Edging challenge. In truth, i am equally happy AND fearful of this chastity belt. i think i am fearful because of the unknown… i just don’t know what exactly to expect. Hence, why i think i dreamed you a scenario of how it “might” go.
So as i wait the arrival of the belt, i’ve thought about how it will feel, how often i will have to wear it, and how things with it will go.
NOW:
i specifically envisioned this conversation in my head…..
Sir: go to the bedroom and edge. Stop only long enough to ensure you don’t cross over the edge. Do NOT cum! And I’ll be there shortly.
Me: Yes Sir.
And i do as told. About 10-minutes later, Sir comes in. And sits on the bed beside me.
Sir: are you frustrated?
Me: Yes Sir. Can i cum now that you are here?
Sir: no. But you can stop edging.
i start to get up.
Sir: I never said you could get up. Lay back down and open your legs.
i do as told. He touches me and it feels SO good!
Me: Please Sir, may i pleaseeee cum?
Sir: NO!
And he stops the touching.
Sir: Now let’s get your belt on you for the day. I want you to want me. To hear you beg to let you cum. To make sure you know you only get to cum when I allow it. I want to get you to the place where I walk by you and your juices flow down your leg because you are so well trained to be wet for me, that I don’t even have to speak. And if I said “cum now” you would, without me even touching you! That is the goal my love!
Me: Yes Sir.
And he locks me up, and afterward twirls the key in his hand.
Sir: I guess you better hope I don’t lose this key now! Right?? And if you are my good girl, you’ll maybe get to cum tonight. But you have to be good, don’t you?
Me: Yes Sir.
Sir: now kiss me, thank me, and get ready for work.
And i do as told.
TRUTH: i have no idea how this belt will go and that conversation above hasn’t happened. And in writing, it sounds hot. In practice, i may not like it too much. Time will tell.
Tick-Tock……..
Hugs,
Marie
Most people have heard the phrase “it takes 21-days to change a habit”. Whether that’s fact or fiction remains unproven really, either way, David decided i am going to do a task this week 21-times without failing.
What is that task?
Edging. NO orgasm allowed. At least not by my hand. And i am not allowed to ask him to do it either. He may decide to touch me or allow me to orgasm on his own, but it will be at his decision and not mine.
i do NOT like edging. IT SUCKS! It sucks because it feels SOOOOO good… and yet requires absolute control. It is just Goal-oriented and not Pleasure-oriented. And absolutely NO indulging. NO losing myself in the sensations and the good vibe feelings it creates.
3 times a day for one solid week. Twenty-one times. In 7-days.
NO exceptions.
NO ability to NOT do it ….. or worse…. NO ability to go over the edge without him knowing because he is requiring every session to be either on video or in his presence. NO exceptions. At all.
He made it clear that i am truly expected to go TO-THE-EDGE….
And if it means i have to stop and restart again, just to ensure i go to the edge, i am to push my ability to GO-TO-THE-VERY-EDGE!
Twenty-one times in seven days. NO going over the edge. NO exceptions.
THIS is my GOAL for the next 7-days, 21- times. Goal-oriented. NOT pleasure-oriented.
When i asked, “what if i misjudge the edge and go over?”
i was told, “severe punishment will ensue. And then you’ll start the 21-times all over again until you accomplish this task successfully. And since you will want to orgasm pretty badly by the end, I am confident you can do this!”
(i’m certainly glad at least one of us is confident!)
Now you may be asking, “what prompted THIS?”
Ever since getting my nips pierced, i have been SO sex’d up and feeling SO turned on… that i have NEEDED Sir to allow me to orgasm. And he’s annoyed by this. Too much. i pushed his limits!
i haven’t exactly been submissive about it either. Yesterday i wore a dress and no panties… i was feeling SO needy i “conveniently” lifted my dress when he was on the couch, and my puss just happened to end up rubbing right up against his hand… and i smiled seductively and said, “do you want to use me?”
i got a big-fat- NO. And he swatted my clit and said, “you need to stop”. OUCH!… physical and mental!
And i went to bed without being touched or satisfied. Truly i thought it was done though because he didn’t act like it was anymore than that. But i was wrong.
This morning… he announced “this week we will teach you a lesson. You need to recognize that I know I can touch you anytime I want. But it is when I want, not when you want. YOU are not in control. You know this, but you don’t always show or act like it. And after yesterday’s stunt, you clearly need to learn to control your sexual desires. I love it when you dress sexy and give me serious eye candy, but I don’t like it when you push yourself on me like you did. That’s too demanding and completely unnecessary.. and clearly NOT the submissive that we both know (and love) that you are. You need to be patient and wait for me to be the one to satisfy you, at a time when it satisfies me!”
And that’s when he told me my task for the week. That my sexual needs will now be amped up at my own hand…. before my sexual needs are satisfied at the end of 7-successful days at his hand (or tongue or cock). And that’s when i’ll get to orgasm. And not until then.
“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir for the discipline and showing me you love me enough to want to help me do better. i love you Sir.”
“I love you too my sweetheart. Now go be a good girl and start your first edging for the day.”
Yes Sir.
i sure hope my goal is met in JUST 7-days!
i’ll let you know just how frustrated i do indeed get this week… this will be a very long week!
Hugs,
Marie
So because i mentioned it before and in a few comments, i’ve been asked for an update on the progress on my chastity belt, i decided to do just that… update you.
i’ve been doing a LOT of research. i’ve found a lot of chastity belts… gag gifts, very (VERY!) pricey, effective but not for me, ineffective and probably only good for pictures, and …. well… one that i have on order. This is what it looks like:
i rarely take (sexual/ naked) pictures of myself … and those that i do, only go to my husband… and never with my face…. but i promise you, if this one works as i hope it does, i’ll post a picture with it on for you. 🙂
CHASTITY BELT – WHY?!?
Okay, well, let’s review…. my husband and Sir, is the head of our house and of me. i am submissive. He has been trying to train me that my private parts are for him. And i’m only allowed to make myself happy with permission. This means that i am open to his touch whenever he wants to and if i want it by my own touch, i have to ask to masturbate and/or orgasm.
He feels orgasm control is the ultimate in my submission because forcing me to ask his permission to touch myself in a most intimate way means he controls my pleasure. And orgasm denial – both mine when I submit to his control and his when he says no – forces me to NOT be selfishly satisfy my OWN needs without putting him before me. And frankly, while i don’t particularly like not cumming when I want to, i do see his point.
i don’t like the rule because he makes me ask in person. It is VERY humbling (and submissive!) to say, “May i have permission to masturbate and to cum please Sir?”
And the seconds between that sentence and the answer sometimes feel like an eternity.
He frequently says yes, but sometimes he does indeed say no.
i think he says no for two reasons: 1) i tend to ask a lot (3-5x’s a week on average – and sometimes multiple times in the same day)…. and 2) because he can. And by saying no, it is an effective rule that i know requires no explanation, no further discussion, and is the final answer.
Well – the “NO” answer is what has led to this place. i’ve tried to be good. i’ve tried to accept that “NO” as his decision. i’ve tried to ignore the desire. But sometimes…. the more i try to ignore it, the more it becomes a ‘thing’ that i can’t successfully ignore.
So similar to a child doing something in secret and hoping to not be caught, i sneak into the closet and do it anyway.
And truly, i have done it and was not caught.
But my guilty conscious weighs heavy.
And i confess.
And i’m punished. Typically with a very intensive spanking, standing in the corner to contemplate it, and sometimes a second spanking.
But …. while that works ‘that day’, it hasn’t been a permanent solution…. and it’s rather detective than preventive.
So David decided i needed to research and find and buy a female chastity belt that was reasonably priced, effective, and able to be worn for long(er) periods of time. And i’ve done just that. And as mentioned, we have one on order. This is the one I bought.
i’ll make you wait to hear more though…. next post my friends. 🙂
(Am i being mean to make you wait?!? David makes me wait to cum…. so i’ll make you wait to hear about the chastity belt…. ha!)
i will leave you with this interesting article i found – Top 10 Facts About Chastity Belts…..https://www.top10hq.com/top-10-facts-about-chastity-belts/
Hugs,
Marie