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Tag: no fighting

270 – Going with the flow.


i managed to keep my mouth shut (or i should probably say i kept my fingers away from the texting keyboard)! 
i did NOT text David into a provoked fight and/or earned discipline for myself!

My butt was saved!

Yah, just like a bad car wreck that you can’t keep from gawking at when you go by on the freeway, i am sure the spanking and discipline stories are much more juicy to read about than me being a good submissive wife!

But alas, today, i can only tell you that the freeway traffic is uneventful, flowing as it should, and nothing to report.

While i don’t honestly think you wanted to hear about “nothing” happening, i think a submissive wife’s successes need to be acknowledged too. i was a good wife. i abstained from going off about my inability to use the tv. i got over my annoyance and anger about it without speaking my mind in a negative (or harmful to my ass!) kind of way.

As a submissive wife, i try HARD to think about this question before speaking my mind about anything …….

Does it even really matter?

And honestly, there are very few times that it does!

Think about it….

When he makes a wrong turn in the car on the way to (anywhere). Does it even really matter? Well… it could if he doesn’t correct the course but he will. And there’s no reason for me to tell him when Google maps will do it for me. So again, does it even really matter (if i say something about it)? Nope!

Or how about when he leaves his shoes in the living room? Well … we don’t have company coming over, it’s not in the way of anyone walking, and while it does unnecessarily clutter up the living room, does it even really matter. So another “Nope!”

Or how about when he is watching tv and he gets bumped off for the same reason i did? Does it even really matter? Well… in this case, it might.

Wait, what? It might matter?? What do you mean??

Well, i’m glad you asked! It matters this time because N-O-W he experiences the same frustration i did….. but…. Wait for it…..

N-O-W i can learn how to click the right combination of buttons, and find an alternative way to watch the same show withOUT the anger and withOUT the discipline.

Okay, so i didn’t lie… it might matter. In this case, it might matter in a good way, depending on how i word my statements about it. If i were to say, “ha! Now it happened to you, how does it feel?!” i would assuredly be “Assuming The Position“ rather quickly.

However, if i just sit and wait… he will say to me, “now I see how you feel.” And i didn’t have to say a thing!

THAT is exactly what happened. i saved myself by NOT texting, and i got more than i bargained for. David was locked off, and was able to teach me how to get the tv to work in an alternative manner.

I should mention how David made a point to say, “while I see how you feel now, notice I didn’t get angry??”

Yes Sir. <<< came out of my mouth.

i get it. <<< did NOT come out of my mouth!

But despite avoiding a spanking, i have not had a Big O either.

David came home from his trip sick. Today the doc said he has strep throat and prescribed antibiotics. That was about 8-hours ago and while he is already feeling the medicine’s positive effect, he’s not feeling good at all still.

While he let me out of my chastity belt, i have not been able to orgasm. And this pussy is cranky about it. i have felt her dripping, pulsing, aching, and twitching. She wants attention and i can’t give it to her.

Too bad, so sad! Get over it!

Yah…. she didn’t. Soooooo rather than bug David about this, which i know would only serve to severely irritate him, i just quietly put the belt back on.

While it’s kept me from masturbating, it hasn’t kept me from wanting to masturbate! i still want to. But something about making it just that-much-harder to do, i have refrained.

i slept with it on last night, but took it off for the day-work hours. Then i put it right back on again when i arrived back home and am preparing to sleep in it again.

i don’t even think David realizes it, as he is so out of it that he just hasn’t even seen or registered that it’s on. Or maybe he has seen it and just doesn’t care enough to say something about it. Either way, i’m not too sure it matters. (And there’s no reason to say something to him, because it just does not matter.

The point is, i am STILL in chastity, still not orgasmed, and still being good about it.

Yah me! <<< definitely NOT said outloud and all in my head!

i suspect it may be 1-3 more days yet til David is truly feeling better. But that probably won’t matter as then we will be to the weekend, and we are going to see our son at college. i pretty well doubt much of anything sexual, like orgasms, will take place. Ugh. Might be almost a full 2-weeks without the Big O! Hate that! Ugh.

My pussy wants attention. But so far, she’s been kept in check.

So as mentioned…. nothing to see…. move along now…. All is flowing (except the Big O!) and going as it should be., with me being a good submissive wife! Got away clean!

Hugs,

Marie

219 – Happy 50th Birthday to me! 🎂🥳

i am officially 50 years old today. One year ago, i was sad and begging time to slow down (or just stop), but now, i am happy.

i decided there are two choices in life: glass half empty OR glass half full. i chose full!

Not only is it my birthday, but today is also Thanksgiving. i have a lot to be happy AND thankful for……

i am living my best life, feel more healthy now than i have in a long time, and am genuinely happy! And i say all this in the midst of No-orgasm-vember and while waking up locked in chastity too! I AM HAPPY IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES!

Some people get all melancholy when they turn FIVE-O, but not me. i know how short life can be and how so many people don’t even live to see this birthday, let alone do it with good health, a great job, a wonderful home and family who love me thoroughly!

i think it’s dumb to get sad about growing older. i think we need to be thankful and grateful for what we have and are able to achieve.

Shortly after waking up, i took a shower and before i was even dressed, David told me to “lay on the bed and play with yourself. Get yourself to the edge, but you are not allowed to go over it. NO orgasm!”

And he left the room.

Oh goodie! i played for a good long time. i was super slick, but i obeyed. i was having a ton of fun! While I wanted to orgasm (of course!), i was content and happy to be in the moment.

It was somewhere around 30-minutes later when David came back in. He asked me, “Did you orgasm?”

“No Sir”

“Do you want to?”

“Yes, of course, Sir”

And he laid on the bed between my legs. He wrapped his arms around my legs, so i was secured in place and not able to move (much) and he started to lick me.

Intently.

With serious abandon!

It was a hot minute more and i was begging, “Please Sir, may i cum?”

He continued.

“Pleaseeeeee Sirrrrrrr”

He ignored me still. But his tongue never stopped its assault on my pussy and it’s clit.

It was SO intense!

“Sir…. Pleaseeeeeeee may i cum??”

He ignored me stillllllllll.

“Sir. i can’t wait any longer. If you won’t say yes, please stop Sir.”

He looked up at me and said, “Good girl. You may cum now.”

And his tongue went back to my pussy and the flood gate opened!

My legs were shaking and he continued.

Another minute later, “Sir, may i cum again?”

His head didn’t move, but i heard the “uh huh” sound come from him.

And i did.

My lips (on my face) were tingling.

And it still continued. Him AND the O.

Again, “May I cum again please Sir?”

And he granted it. Never once releasing his grip on my legs no matter how much i bucked. His tongue never stopped and neither did i!

i felt spacey and almost a drunk-like feeling.

i lost count at how many times i orgasmed, but they were cumming fast and furious. It was hard to tell where one ended and the next started!

i think he ended after about 7, but i am not certain. It was just so many!

i was SO exhausted, but happy. i almost went comatose as i laid on the bed and regained my composure, while he took his leave to start cooking the Thanksgiving meal. He told me to take as much time as i needed or wanted.

But before he was out the door, i said, “David…..” and he stopped and turned to me.

i spoke quite clearly and with intentional words, “i love you so much. i am grateful and thankful for you and the life we’ve built together. Thank you for the gift of orgasm today.”

He smiled, then laughed, and said “I love you too!”

i laid on the bed doing nothing of any substance…. Except…. Thanking God for my husband (and his talented tongue), along with marveling about how amazing my life is!

That’s how my day started and the rest has been great, but of course as you can imagine the morning was THE high point of my day!

i asked him if we were back to no-touch and no-orgasm, and he said, “I haven’t decided yet.” So i shall wait to see what comes next….. but regardless of what it is….

i chose to be thankful, grateful, and happy every day!

Hugs,

Marie

204 – spanking AND Chastity!

Today i earned a spanking. A discipline one. It hurt. A lot.

It made me mad actually to be told to “Assume The Position,” but i did it without complaining. And i accepted it. Because that’s what i do.

That didn’t change the fact that i was mad about it. By the end though, i was past the mad and realized i (basically) needed it too. But i didn’t want it… because… well…. i never do!

And now for the rest of the story.

Our son was leaving this morning to do an all day school activity (7a-9p) where he would not have access to a wall plug charger. As he was packing his bag to leave, i asked if he needed to take a charger power pack thing (what are those things even called?) for his phone. He said no, he had one.

Well, David overheard me and said, “I have that brick power pack. Do you think he wants it?”

i said, “No, i don’t think so.” And he walked away so i thought all was done.

About 5’ish minutes later, David comes out with brick power charger in hand. When i say “brick”, it is about the same size and weight. It’s a heavy-duty remote power pack, to say the least!

He said, “This is the one I was talking about. This is a brick power pack.”

i looked at him and said “i knew what you were talking about before. i am also aware of what a power pack is.”

He looked at me and said, “Was that necessary?” With no time to respond, he followed with the answer, “I don’t think it was!”

Ahh crap.

Ok, so i admit i was annoyed at him…. i mean, i DID know what it was that he was referring to, and i didn’t think bringing it out to show-and-tell was necessary…… but i also didn’t think my tone showed my annoyance when i responded. Apparently it did!

Not to mention….i was taking care of things and our son had already said no he didn’t need one.

SO …. let it be. Drop it already.

And wouldn’t you know it — at THAT moment, our son comes down the stairs and David hands him the power pack and our son says, “This is a brick! But I could probably use it.”

Seriously?! Proving David right just pissed me off more! And David smirked at me with a “told you so” look.

Soon afterward, our son left the house and i was starting my usual morning routine to shower/dress/etc, when David came up and said, “Are you going to Assume The Position?”

i looked at him and said, “No”

(Not MY fault he ASKED me. If you are going to ask a question, you may not always hear the response you are looking for. If you tell me to do it, i will do it. But then don’t ask, just tell me too!)

He looked surprised at the response, and he said, “uhm… wrong answer. YES, you will! Now!”

i looked at him and said, “ok.” And he left the room for me to “Assume the position” and wait for him to return.

He always gives me a waiting period. Usually and sometimes about 10’ish minutes. Today was the same. During that 10’ish minutes i usually find peace and calm in preparing my mental-self for the discipline. Today, i just got madder.

i laid on the bed thinking about, “WHY was THIS the reason i was in this position? What about all the other times that he has lately ignored lip, or rules being broken? Why be the disciplinarian now? WTF??”

So on Saturday i was going to meet up with my sister to do some activities for the day, when David said, “you have a bra on.”

And i responded with, “yes.”

And he said/did nothing.

So WHY did you ignore that breach? And THIS one landed me here?

i laid there thinking about all the recent events that really were worse than this one, and that went seemingly ignored.

Then he came in. Immediately picked up the paddle and laid it against my ass where i felt it’s presence. And he said, “why are you here?”

“Because i talked back.”

“Was it the words or the tone that landed you here?”

SMACK!

“Uhm… probably both Sir.”

SMACK!

“Correct answer!”

SMACK!

“Do you think it was appropriate?”

SMACK!

“No… but…”

SMACK!

“Do you think the word ‘but’ is needed?”

SMACK!

“Y-E-S! I DO!”

SMACK!

“Why??”

SMACK!

(Insert wincing and difficulty speaking as the sting is so real in my ass now. And my temper is subsiding in a hurry!)

“Because i don’t understand why you’ve ignored the other transgressions lately and THIS is the one that landed me here.”

SMACK!

(Insert flinching and unease in ability to sit still now. Wishing it was done already! Thinking about saying ‘yellow’)

“Well, I tried to ignore the first few things thinking it was just a moment for you. Plus it seemed you were testing me then. But you are clearly thinking I will ignore it all and this was my final straw.”

SMACK!

Yellow Sir!”

smack!

smack!

(Little ones, but still continuing.. as that’s what happens with yellow. Less, but not stopping yet.)

“Are you going to be more respectful now??”

“Yes Sir”

(He rested the paddle against my ass once more….)

“Great! Then one last BIG smack. Prepare yourself . This one is meant to hurt and meant to last!”

S-M-A-C-K!!!

Ouchhhhhhh!!!!!

That’s when he said, “now all is forgiven. And time to get you ready for the day. Go get the chastity belt. I will put it on you.”

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir”

After it was on, he added, “oh and be sure to wear clothes WITHOUT a bra today!”

And so it was. And so it is.

And as i left the house he handed me a sealed envelope saying, “here are the keys. If you need to take it off, open the envelope. But make no mistake, I sealed it on purpose. You need to think twice before using this. Do I make myself clear?”

Again…. “Yes Sir. Thank you again Sir”

And he hugged and kissed and told each other we love one another… and off to work i go.

So in the end …. While i didn’t much think i deserves to be in “the position” for spanking…. i needed it. It tamed me. It put me back into the submissive mode TOWARDS HIM, not just myself!

And THAT is the rest of the story!

Hugs,

Marie

201 – Who’s in Control Anyway?

Does a submissive give up control? Does a Dom take control? Is the submissive still in control? Does a Dom really have control over anything at all?

These are a few questions i find myself thinking about this morning.

Ultimately i don’t think the CONTROL belongs to anyone… except of course, to yourself. Meaning, i need to control me and he needs to control him. Controlling the other should not a prize to be won or an award to be given, nor is it the ultimate goal.

David is quite stressed out right now. And i am not. This is the scenario that gets me into the most trouble because i have more time to be thinking about how to be the best submissive i can be. You might think that’s a good thing, and frequently it can be. Until it’s not.

When i think too much about being the best submissive, i tend to (basically) become obsessed with it which means i look to David for direction in my quest for “more”. Which is a recipe for disaster really, because it’s then that when i do not receive the feedback (attention!) i am seeking that i do not respond with my best-submissive-self. So it is self destructive behaviors and leads to problems. In addition, when i am in this mood if seeking this feedback (reassurances) i become needy. Needy of a strong dominant. And i can see why he thinks i am wanting him to “control” me.

Of course, remember, i already said he’s been stressed out. Work has been hectic for him and due to circumstances beyond his control (ie other’s procrastination!) he finds himself up against deadlines that are quite possibly too tight to meet., but he has to try.

So instead of being the best-submissive …. Who leaves my Sir alone and tries to make myself less of a burden to him….. i don’t. When i become obsessed with being the best of the best, i become needy to seek out the reassurances and direction from him that i am doing good.

Reassurances that he has ZERO time for.

So yesterday i got onto his very last nerve and i heard him say, “I don’t have time to control you! If that’s what you need, go find another Dom!”

Now … don’t misunderstand…. he wasn’t telling me he wanted to get divorced, or to go away, or to be unfaithful, or anything permanent.

He was genuinely meaning, “TODAY I don’t have time, I am stressed out, and if you really want or need reassurances then (maybe) find the second Dom that we’ve been talking about. Because today it is just too much for me, and a second Dom could prove useful right now for both of us.”

So knowing his intentions behind the second sentence were not bad, and actually could be a good thing/helpful was ultimately fine for me. But the first sentence is what bothered me…….

“I don’t have time to control you!”

What went through my head were thoughts like this….

– Does he really think i want him to control me??

– Doesn’t he see that all he has to do is control himself and i will follow?

– He doesn’t control my decision to follow, nor will he ever, so don’t i ultimately have the control?

– How can i follow someone who is just busy trying to figure out how to control me? Isn’t that circular referencing?

Well…. The time to get answers to ANY of those questions was NOT yesterday in that moment. (Likely not today either!). Had i continued on, it would have lead to an argument, at best. i could also tell that while the best thing for me having stirred up the pot so much would have been to have received a discipline of some sort, it was NOT going to go down that way….

Had i received the discipline i so clearly deserved, it would have been: a) feeding into my sub-frenzy, b) distracting for David, who desperately needed to focus on the work he is doing, c) been more of ME in control (aka: Topping from the Bottom) and i don’t control him anymore than he controls me! Yet, i sure was trying to “control” him right into disciplining me!

Had i been in control, which obviously i am not, i would’ve made me go stand in the corner until further notice. It would’ve given me (as David) the opportunity to get the work done without being bugged by me (his sub). It also would’ve given me (the sub) the ability to reflect on how much i was NOT being a sub when i was busy causing unnecessary distractions.

Then when I (as David) took a break, because eventually I would, I would’ve told me (as Submissive) to assume the position. And I (as David) would’ve delivered a spanking that went something like this…..

“You will count and thank me for every single swat of this paddle. I had NO time for your shenanigans today, so I am taking a break to teach you a lesson while also relieving my stress on your ass. Do NOT EVER push me to this place again when you KNOW I am stressed to meet this work deadline.”

Smack! (oh wow. This hurt from the very second he started!)

“One Sir. Thank you Sir.”

“Trying to push me into dominating you at a time that is convenient for you isn’t how a good sub should be. Stop Topping from the Bottom!”

Smack! “Two Sir. Thank you Sir.”

“Telling me how to dominate isn’t being submissive at all. I will not tolerate you trying to act like you are ‘letting me know how needy’ you are. That is completely unnecessary.”

Smack! “Three Sir. Thank you Sir.”

And it would’ve continued from there until i (as sub) was seemingly acting sufficiently remorseful.

But that’s not how it went. And in the end, it probably went better than my version. What actually happened was i apologized for my behavior, for trying to push David into something he didn’t want to be bothered with, and we (more or less) went about our separate business for the day.

i tried very hard to be “ok” with what felt to me like i was being ignored and to not even let on to him what all was really going on in my head. i think it – mostly – worked.

i say that it worked because we didn’t get into a fight, i didn’t get my way, and David was able to get done a lot of what was needed. No, he’s not met the (likely impossible!) deadline, but he was able to get done as much as he could without distractions too.

In the end, i don’t want him to control me…. i need to control me. And i need to be reminded (by him and/or myself) not to try to control him and let him control him. When we each just control ourselves, especially within the framework of our DD relationship, it works.

i don’t know if i will be punished or not… not sure it matters… in some ways by not getting my way, i learned my lesson. i just hope it sticks.

Hugs,

Marie

170 – First Spanking of 2021.

The first spanking of this year was not for maintenance. It was a discipline spanking and happened on only the 5th day of the year!

It was in the morning while i was still waking up. i was sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and surfing the internet, when Sir started talking about the day’s agenda. He said, “I have a yoga instructor coming to the house for a 1-on-1 session.”

You should know that since April and the original Nationwide quarantine for COVID, he has been working from home and it works quite nicely for all. so he has a lot more flexibility in his schedule than i do with me working at an office. (Did you get the pun there… “flexibility” while being a post about yoga… ok, maybe just my silliness at work. Carryon….)

Now it was an innocuous statement all by itself, but it made me mad. He had quite literally never spoke about yoga until this moment, with the exception of (about) 5-years ago [pre-DD] when i was talking some yoga classes and asked him to go with me. He went twice and swore he’d never do it again as it was just not for him. So this was a shocking statement really that not only had he been thinking about it, but decided, contacted, and scheduled a 1-on-1 session too… without ever mentioning it to me.

Now he’s not required to tell me everything, nor am i to him. But of course, it seemed to me that he would have since we’ve been starting to try to be in better shape, exercise more, and lose weight together. AND he has quite literally sworn off yoga in the past.

i am still working to be at my goal weight for my 50th bday later this year. But with it being winter-season, it gets dark too early in the evening and i don’t like walking alone in the dark. i have a healthy fear of bad things happening in the dark outside while alone. So i have been (practically) begging David to walk with me at night after work since about October. Many days he’s relented, but some days he says no, making it a real challenge for me.

Somewhere around a month ago though, we have officially started walking together after work most evenings probably due to my relentless begging for him to go. And of course now with the New Year, everyone’s resolution seems to always be to lose weight, including his.

So now he is going to do a yoga-exercise-class without me???

Can you now see why i was immediately upset? Well, he didn’t. i said nothing out loud at all though. He had no idea i was triggered and now quite upset.

He kept talking and the next thing he said, that required my response about 2-minutes later was, “Should i make you some breakfast when i make make my own this morning?”

And unfortunately for me, i wasn’t able to respond in a positive way but instead i did so in a very snarky tone and words. My words were appropriate for my attitude at that moment……

i said, “Why? So i can go to the office and let the food just sit on my ass while you work out and lose weight without me??”

And that did it.

He said, “Go Assume the Position.” With the calmest voice you can imagine, which was almost disconcerting in and of itself.

Well, i happen to have been drafting a post to you at the time so i wanted to finish my thought and save it before going. He noticed the 1-minute hesitation and said in a raised and getting agitated voice, “N-O-W!”

So i did. Under protest. And definitely with annoyance and anger in my head and on my face and in the way i stomped to the bedroom.

When he came in i was in position, including with the paddle resting in the small of my back. But he didn’t pick it up. Instead, he opened the nightstand and pulled out the cane.

Yep. For Christmas i bought him a set of canes. We have never had or used canes before so this was going to be different. We both kinda wanted to try them, but it wasn’t until a good sub-friend helped me figure out which one(s) to buy that i decided to surprise him with it for Christmas.

When he opened the set of 3, he smiled and said, “this will make Friday’s more exciting for awhile!” And yet, this discipline spanking was the first he was trying it out.

When i felt the cane smack the first time, i cringed and flinched. He didn’t even hit me hard, but it wasn’t expected either. He had left the paddle in the small of my back and after i flinched he said, “Don’t let the paddle move! It stays in its place!”

And in my head i thought, “yeah right! That ain’t happening! And in fact when it falls, what are the consequences??” But thankfully i didn’t smart off out loud about that!

i felt the cane hit several times and it wasn’t without much actual force, but i sure did hear the distinct “swish” of the cane’s whipping motion in the air before it collided with my ass too.

In NO time at all, i was feeling the sting! He said, “And what’s with the attitude? I offer to make you breakfast and you smart off??”

S-T-I-N-G!

Ouch!

He said, “I asked a question and I expected an answer!”

S-T-I-N-G! again….. OUCH again!

i spat out the words, “you made me mad announcing you are doing a 1-on-1 yoga session without me, when you know i am trying so hard to get in shape and lose weight, especially this year with my 50th coming up. And you don’t even like yoga!”

S-T-I-N-G! a 3rd time again….. and a serious OUCH now!

i came off the bed and was more-or-less standing upright. The paddle fell to the floor. i mentally cringed. Now what?? i already feel the sting of that cane sooo much! And in truth, we both know he hasn’t even used it with much force or repetition!

He stood there and waited. He said nothing. i resumed the position. He said, “THAT was a good girl getting back into position, despite having not kept the paddle in place.”

i knew then that having lost the paddle would be a forgiven transgression. Now only to finish with the first transgression!

He said, “I was intending to find someone who seemed good for both of us and then to have group/family classes once a week. But I know I am less agile than you so I figured most any instructor would work for you! I expected you’d be happy that I got this sorted out without having to bother you with the details.”

S-T-I-N-G! a 4th and most painful yet. Not sure if it’s cuz the sting-factor is building or he used more force. He definitely has moved around on my ass and upper thighs, but man this cane has a biting sting! And yes, i came off the bed… again. And again, i resumed the position after catching my breath.

He continued, “are you still mad?”

Yes! I am! I see your point, but that doesn’t change my mind that you could’ve told me all this before I found myself in this position.

He smacked again and said, “Seriously? Are you not going to answer me? Again??”

i said in a calm tone, “Yes, i am still mad, but i am trying not to be.”

He said, “I can continue to swat until you aren’t mad. You need to tell me when you are not mad.”

Sting – sting – sting – sting – sting – sting – sting.

Quick and swift, over and over, all around from top of my ass to the middle of my thighs.

Ok, i cry mercy!

“I’M NOT MAD…. SIR.”

“You sure?”… STING

“Oh yes Sir. I’m not mad, just wanting this to stop please Sir.”

And it did.

He stood me up, put his arms around me and said, “next time you get mad, instead of being silent or smarting off to me, you will just come assume the position and I will know. So we can avoid the smart ass tone, my anger and annoyance back, and a potential fight. I will spank you until you aren’t mad, so that you can speak to me in calm words. Am I clear?”

“Yes Sir.”

Ahh great. A New rule for the New Year.

But once again, i will tell you…. i know it works. i really was NOT mad anymore when i told him so. i really was able to talk calmly afterward. It really did allow me to refocus and speak kindly. He really did have the best of both of our interests at heart.

And so… when i am mad again next, i will just go Assume the Position…. and do so willingly.

And in case you wondered……. i had cane lines across my ass for several hours and felt the sting for much of the morning…. while he was stretching with the yoga instructor, i was squirming in my chair at the office.

AND….. he liked her, so we will start this next week as a family doing yoga together.

Cheers… to a new year.. a new cane… and a new start!

Hugs,

Marie