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Tag: my submissiveness

285 – Fiction for now … but maybe not for always.

orgasm denial

While this is currently fiction, i intend to ask Sir to read this and make it a reality, if he wants it to be….

Not quite November

“Sir, it is nearly November. Last year, we did NO-orgasm-vember where i edged a lot but you did not allow me to orgasm for much of it. i think if it had not been my big 5-0 birthday, you wouldn’t have allowed me to orgasm at all, but… you were kind. For my birthday.”

“This year though, while of course, it is still my birthday month, it isn’t a big birthday this year the way it was last year So i think you should consider not letting me orgasm this entire month,” is what i said to my Sir.

He looked at me somewhat confused and said, “Why? Would should I not enjoy giving you orgasms whenever I want to? I like seeing you get pleasure at my hand (or tongue or cock).”

My response was, “Yes Sir, i do enjoy getting orgasms from you at the times you allow it. But i also feel selfish. i feel like i have gotten far more pleasure and orgasms than you. And my submission should be about pleasing you, rather not about pleasing me!”

He laughed and said, “well I simply can’t have multiple orgasms the way you do. So of course you get more than I do!”

i smiled and said, “And that is truly wonderful for me Sir, but it does not feel fair. While 11- months of the year, i am content to please you by having more orgasms whenever you want me to, it seems fair that ONE month i abstain. That being denied orgasms for 30-days, i would focus on your pleasure and your happiness and your orgasms, and not my own, if that’s what you’d like too.”

“Do you even think you can hold out that long?” he said with complete skepticism in his tone.

“Well Sir, you have the full ability to make that happen. At whatever point you think i may cheat and be tempted to masturbate, you can put me in my chastity belt and hold the key until whatever point you think it appropriate to allow me out or to orgasm.”

i continued, “But Sir, i won’t lie, i am a little concerned my sexual arousal may be completely lost with full abstinence for 30-days too. i may lose all interest in sexual activities. i may become content to NOT get pleasure at all.”

Sir gave a sly smile and said, “That’s a problem that’s easily fixed.”

That was all he said. No elaboration whatsoever.

i paused before i spoke again, but when it became obvious Sir did not intend to provide any further commentary, i said, “my other concern would be being locked up for too many consecutive days may compromise my feminine hygiene, which could possibly lead to a yeast infection.”

And he once again said, “That’s easily fixed also.”

i wondered what he was thinking but wasn’t sure what to say. i finally just bucked up my courage and asked, “Sir, can you think out loud so i can get a feel for what you are thinking.”

He gave yet another sly smile and said, “you can ask. But I’m not going to say, at least not yet. It’s not Nov 1. But on that day, you’ll know more.”

November 1

i had become pretty unaware of what day it was. Even when it did occur to me that November had officially started, i didn’t even know if Sir was intending to enact any version of my previous suggestions as he had made NO reference or discussion about it.

The day started innocent enough and in the exact same way as always. i was up and out the door to work. Sir was working from home, also same as always.

When i came home from work, we had a same-as-always dinner and evening too. Then we went to retire in our bed.

When i climbed into bed, i was naked, as always. i snuggled up close to my Sir and put my hands down under the covers. i reached and found his cock and said, “this feels amazing Sir. Can i suck you hard?”

He smiled and said, “Sureeeeee.” No smart man tells his wife no when she offers him a blow job, and my Sir is definitely a smart man!

And he threw back the covers and i went down on him. i started slowly, but as his cock grew hard in my mouth i began to move faster too.

i heard him moan in pleasure, which made me happy to hear. He grabbed my head on both sides and started to force my head up and down faster. He was making my mouth fuck his cock. His cock got very hard as i sucked him off faster and harder with every thrust.

That’s when he pulled my mouth off of him and said, “move up and plant my cock deep inside my Pussy.”

“Yes Sir!” No good submissive woman denies an opportunity to fuck her Dominant husband!

i was so wet already without even having been touched at all. i moved myself up and positioned his cock to be able to slide down on top of his rock hard pole. My pussy was suddenly very full as i slid all the way down in one smooth move. i let myself sit for just a second with his cock deep inside me just to feel him fully.

That’s when i looked into his eyes, and he grabbed my hips and he said, “ride my cock now slut.”

And that was all the motivation i needed! i started to move up and down. i wasn’t yet going very fast, but building into it. i felt Sir’s hands press onto each of my hips, encouraging me to go up and down that much more. He very sternly said, “fuck my cock like you mean it. Convince me of how much this means to you slut. Or else I’ll take it away and give it as quickly as i gave it to you. Now!”

And i started riding him like my life depended upon it! i needed to fuck my Sir with everything in me! i needed this for him AND for me. i was taking him hard as i rose up and slid back down on his cock, making my tits bob up and down just as hard! It caused my tits to hurt, so much so i reached up to hold them in place. I felt Sir’s hands slap against the backs of mine and he said, “let go of my tits. I want to see them move and hear them slap against your chest.” So i let go and allowed my Sir’s pleasure to be more than my pain.

It was but another minute when Sir decided we were changing positions altogether. He flipped us over in one smooth move where i was laying on my back. He smiled and said, “the best place for any good woman is on her back with her legs spread wide, and you are no exception! Do NOT cum until I do!”

He didn’t expect an audible answer and I didn’t provide one. Instead it was in my head that i clearly heard myself utter, “Yes Sir” without hesitation. i live for these moments and i refuse to disappoint my Sir!

And he started fucking me with just one intent in mind. He wasn’t making love to me, but fucking me with all he had. He was using my cunt for his needs, and i was proud to be the one he took what he needed from. Serving him this way gives me incredible joy!

This time i heard myself begging him out loud saying, “Sir, give me your cum. Dump it deep inside me so i can feel it drip all night long!”

He was so intent on his task of getting off, he couldn’t speak. i then felt my own orgasm rising and felt panic rising in me. i would not, could not disobey but my body was starting to have a mind of its own too. With desperation i squeaked out, “Sir. Please hurry. i am about to orgasm!”

He surprised me by coming to a complete stop nearly immediately. He pulled out and with annoyance and a twinge of anger he spat out the words, “the fuck you are! This is No-orgasm-vember. And that means this is MY month. You get NO orgasms and I get them all for both of us!”

i was feeling like a disappointment and had sadness wash over me as a result. i was letting my Sir down. I was failing to be a good submissive slut wife for him.

He continued, “open your mouth wide. I don’t need your cunt if it’s not going to obey. Your mouth will do just fine. I’ll go back to fucking it.”

A few minutes later, he orgasmed big! i heard him moan, his cock got very stiff and still, and i felt his hot cum shoot to the back of my throat.

As his cum hit my throat, i instinctively pulled back just a bit. He must’ve felt it as he grabbed the back of my head and held me still with his cock deep inside. He said, “swallow all I give you! Don’t you let a drop go to waste!” And i swallowed as fast as i could to not let him down any further and to not choke too!

When he was done, he asked me how i felt and whether i had orgasmed. i spoke honestly and said, “i feel disappointed in myself that my pussy tried to disobey you Sir, but no Sir, i did not have any orgasms.”

He said, “oh my love, do not feel you have disappointed me. You are the best wife I could ever want or need or hope for! It’s good that I turn you on so much that you are wet and dripping for me. And make no mistake, your desire to orgasm is just a sign of your love manifesting deep inside you. AND you did good by telling me too.” His hand had moved up to cup the side of my cheek as he had said these things. That was when he leaned in and kissed me deeply too, making all my negative emotions wash away, leaving me with deep and complete joy.

When he pulled back he continued speaking, “it was very good of you to not orgasm. That’s how it should be! How close did you get?”

i shrugged and said, “i got close but not too close i suppose.”

That’s when Sir got up from the bed to go to the bathroom. i thought he was going to clean himself, but he returned almost immediately. He tossed my favorite vibrating dildo at me and said, “Here. Edge. Now. Do NOT orgasm! But get close. And stop.”

“Yes Sir.”

And i did so in a matter of a couple of short minutes. It didn’t take long and i was at the edge of orgasm! i pulled the dildo out of my pussy and said, “i nearly went over the edge and orgasmed with that one Sir.”

He said, “Good. Do it again.”

“But Sir.. i will….”

He cut me off saying, “you WILL do as you are told. I said do it again. Edge but do NOT orgasm. Get even closer to the edge this time.”

So i did. i used the vibrator for a minute and was about to orgasm again, so i knew i had to stop immediately. i pulled the vibrator from my needy cunt, leaving it empty and feeling so desperate to orgasm.

With that, Sir said, “Do it again.”

“A third time Sir? i surely will….”

He cut me off again saying, “you surely will get punished if you continue to argue with me. Now get busy woman!”

So i did. i cringed as i knew it was going to be only a few seconds before i would be at the very edge again. Not to mention, i was getting fearful that i would orgasm accidentally. As i finished, ever so quickly, i pulled the dildo from my pussy and rolled over onto my side, squeezing my legs together to force the orgasm to go away and not allow it to escape!

That’s when Sir said, “go put the chastity belt on. You’ll wear it to sleep now.”

So i did. i put it on. Without a single utterance of discord.

When i climbed back in bed, Sir smiled at me. He said, “wife, you are the best. I am so grateful you want to please me the way you do. I have decided that your suggestion of abstinence for you for NO-orgasm-vember is an amazing one. Every night, I will use whatever hole I want to get off. And every night, when I am done, you’ll edge yourself three more times. Then you’ll sleep in your belt.”

He continued, “this should be a valid solution to your two problems… 1) you will be edged and get near orgasm, wanting it so badly, but getting no release. This will keep your sex drive high and you’ll find it hard to lose interest. And 2) you’ll sleep in your belt. In the morning, you can take it off but I do expect you to practice self control and to deny yourself any and all orgasms. The reason you should wear it to sleep is that so soon after edging, you may be tempted to finish yourself off after I go to sleep but we won’t allow that this month at all.”

He finished with, “THIS is going to be an amazing month my love. I may allow you to orgasm on your birthday, but that’s 25-days away, and I haven’t decided on that yet either. Do not bug or for that matter even ask me about getting to orgasm on your birthday, as I’ll probably deny you an orgasm even then, to serve as punishment for annoying me about it.”

He finished with, “All I know for sure is this month is about me, and not about you.”

i leaned in and i kissed him. As i pulled back, i thanked him for allowing himself to feel a month full of pleasure while using me to please him, which gives me pleasure also. All the while, loving me so throughly too.

This is indeed going to be an awesome month… i hope. i think. i may be pretty sexually frustrated by the end, but i will definitely not lose interest in my Sir or sex!

The end. Now to share this with Sir and see if he wants to use any, all, some, or none of it this month. Ultimately the decision is, as always, his alone to make. Happy November!

Hugs,

Marie

283 – “Your shoes aren’t a symbol”

chastity belt = safety

^^^^^ THAT was my conversation earlier tonight with my Sir. About my Chastity belt. And me wanting to have the key to take it off.

i won’t lie, i basically threw a temper tantrum today. i wanted the belt off. i lost. The belt is still on.

Sir won.

Officially he should always win. Unofficially it doesn’t always happen. Today it did happen.

Yes, today…. SIR WON! i know i already said that, but it was worth repeating.

i even looked for the key in all the areas i thought it would be. i really wasn’t sure as i looked if:

1) i was going to be able to find it,

2) if i did find it, would i actually use it,

3) if i wouldn’t use it, why was i looking.

i stopped looking. i don’t think i do want to find it. And it was not in any of those usual or expected places anyway.

Sir hid it well. He won there too.

He’s right in that the belt isn’t uncomfortable really, just getting (more and more) annoying. The way keeping my shoes on when i get home is annoying. But he is right, my shoes are not a symbol. The chastity belt is.

The chastity belt represents a literal and real power exchange. A total power exchange that i have willing done without regret. i would do it again too.

i completely trust my Sir and i give him my all. Until i want the belt off. Until i want to take back the control but to which he does not allow.

i am glad he has not succumbed to my wishes.

In the end, i do NOT want to be in charge and i am glad Sir is. Just sometimes, i want to win. Like today when i have wanted the belt off.

He’s home tomorrow at about this time (7p) but now (based on his comments above), i am unsure if the belt will even come off then.

This is good for me in the end. This total power exchange reminds me of how small i am and how small i should remain.

i write all this while sitting on the couch, in my chastity belt. i have given up asking for it to come off and will submit the way i should. Hopefully anyway! And if i don’t, i suspect i will still be in my belt but then ALSO have a red ass to go with it!

(And did you see the part about my fiction story? i am working on another one. Maybe tonight yet … or tomorrow. Will see.)

Hugs,

Marie

282 – Back in Belt; Control is not mine

chastity belt

David went to Florida for work today through Wednesday night for work. Again, he’s traveling. He has had to travel a lot lately.

His travel goes in streaks and this is one of them. i hate it, but of course, i can’t change it. i think he’s okay with it though. He rather likes traveling overall, which works well for someone who has to do it a lot like he has had to lately.

He left at 5am this morning, on Monday and he returns at 8pm on Wednesday night. A total of nearly 60-hours.

And this time, like many of the previous times David is out of town, i am back in my chastity belt.

This time, unlike some of the other previous times, i do NOT have the key.

i have no idea where it is, other than, “in our house,” which isn’t enough to be able to find it.

i don’t have the key because i needed to have some control taken away. In short, i had a privilege taken away.

As of late, we haven’t totally been on-point. We haven’t been totally off-point either. But, like anything not totally cared for properly, it starts to deteriorate. David hasn’t done maintenance spankings in awhile now, and i think he should have but i haven’t told him that. Instead, i have slowly and unintentionally become a bossy-little-brat-wife.

That led up to David getting so mad on Saturday he yelled at me. i probably deserved (some) of it, but some of it, i did not. When he yelled at me, i got incredibly angry. But. i didn’t say a word. Not-A-Single-Word!

In the past, when he’d get mad and yell, i would yell back. But now, i do not. While i could speak my concerns, “speak” is the key word. And because i was ANGRY i knew there was no way i would speak!

At the end of his yelling, he told me if i had a lot more to say (my mouth was what got me in trouble in the first place!) about the topic, i could walk home. You have NO idea just how close i was to doing it! Talking AND walking.

In the past, i would have challenged his words and called his bluff. i would have demanded to get out of the car and started walking. The dumb thing is that would only hurt myself and does nothing for or to him. And in the D/s world i live in now, Sir would actually let me out and i would be walking. Maybe not the entire way, but enough to wish i hadn’t been so stupid too. Because now, David (almost always) says what he means and means what he says.

So i sat in the vehicle in silence. Complete silence.

After about 10’ish minutes he asked me, “are you good?”

i wasn’t entirely sure i was, but i said i was. After i said that and thought about it more, i started to tell him i was NOT ok. But what was i going to say after that, that would make any difference whatsoever. i asked myself, “What can be said that would make a positive difference? What can i say that would end well?”

i couldn’t think of a single thing.

i also couldn’t think of a logical answer to the questions, “if you weren’t ok, then WHY did you say you were? Did you lie to me??”

So i continued to be silent.

After a bit of more silence, i really did become “ok.” And we began the trek to both being back to normal. Not long thereafter, we were indeed ok.

Yesterday (Sunday) when i was talking with David, i asked him why he got so mad and why he yelled at me. i also asked him why he allowed it to get that bad. His answer was simple, “laziness.”

Now today he went out of town and said he was hiding the key because control was something i had a little too much of lately and we needed to get him (not me) back into the proper position of control he so rightfully deserves.

i was a-ok with that. The belt went on, the lock snapped shut, and the key laid in his hand and then it went away.

Shortly thereafter Sir leaned in, kissed me goodbye, and he left.

It took all of an hour and i was ready to be out. Not because i needed it, but because i wanted it.

i wanted the control back. But i shouldn’t have it and it’s good that i don’t. This is good for both of us.

60-total-hours and counting.

Hugs,

Marie

280 – A near miss

Tonight i nearly got myself spanked. i managed to get myself under control but barely.

i got soooo mad at David. And i think he knew it, but instead of getting mad back at me or spanking me, he decided to play a game of poker and call my bluff. The thing is, i was mad and not bluffing at all.

He has a bad habit of turning the tv on, start a show, and get up and walk out of the room. And that’s what he did tonight. Twice.

Now i am usually pretty amiable to watching anything. But what i do not like is him changing the channel to then leave the room. If you aren’t staying, then hand me the remote and let me pick something myself.

i didn’t know where he went or when he’d return. i decided pretty quickly that i liked the second show way less than the first. So i wasn’t really watching too much of it and my mind started to wander.

i started thinking about sex and sexy thoughts and taking my clothes off and sitting on David’s lap and…..i found myself very aroused in a hurry! Yet he was nowhere to be found. i haven’t a clue where he was or what he was doing, but I knew i probably didn’t need to touch myself either.

i also knew David had irritated me with the wandering and the channel changes so i wasn’t too sure i even really WANTED to do any sexy stuff with him. Don’t get me wrong, he was probably doing something worthwhile, but i hadn’t a clue what that was. All i knew for sure was he wasn’t spending the time with me.

So i went and put on my chastity belt. i decided this was the best course of action to keep myself from myself.

Of course RIGHT as i walked out of our room, David materialized. He saw the belt immediately and said, “you decided you needed it on?”

“Yes Sir.”

And i went and sat on the couch, and started watching tv again. He came out, sat down, and Sid, “it’s too bad you put the belt on. i was about to start playing with you.”

“Well, i can take it off Sir. Do you want me to?”

“No, you have it on now. It may need to stay on for a week.” Is what he said as he grinned. Yeah right.

At this point, i had stood up and walked over to him, ran my hands through his hair and said, “Would you like me to take it off Sir? This is just to keep me away, not you away.”

“No, go sit down.” so frustrating!

So i did. Went and sat down.

NOT EVEN FIVE MINUTES LATER…. we had been quiet and started rewatching tv when he says, “well…. Are you going to take it off?” WTF. Just tell me what you want already! i am not a mind reader!

This is when i started to lose it. i looked at him and with an exasperated tone said, “you JUST told me it might stay on a week and to go sit down. So no, i wasn’t going to take it off but rather now i was just trying to do as i was told.”

He said, “if I told you to stand up, would you?”

i rolled my eyes and looked away. Calm down. Don’t be stupid. This is a dumb conversation and not worth getting spanked over.

And with that, he got up and left the room. Of course he did!

He went towards our bedroom. Do not go in there. Just relax in the living room for a bit more.

He was gone around 5’ish minutes and i hear, “SO….. you gonna come in here with me?” Oh crap, now what?! Okay, fine. While it was a question, it was not optional. i know i have to get up and go. FINE!

i go to the bedroom and the scene i saw was one of David on the bed, naked, with the bedroom tv on and his cock in hand. His cock was obviously rock hard.

He motioned to the tv and said, “wanna watch it with me?”

He had porn showing on the tv with a submissive girl tied up and two men with her. One man had his cock in her mouth and the other with his cock in her pussy. Her hands were tied behind her back, with the ropes intertwined between her tits causing them to be swollen and enlarged.

The scene looked divine!

i started to climb on the bed, intending to “watch tv” or suck David’s cock. At this point, i wasn’t too sure if the belt could come off or not… as i put it on, but that didn’t mean it had permission to take it off.

When David said, “well, you gonna take it off already?!” Okay, that answered that question at least.

We proceeded to have really great sex.

Porn playing in the background as i rode his cock. i was still mad and i didn’t want to ask permission to orgasm so i was prepared to just NOT. David figured this out in a hurry though and asked me if i was being a brat and needed to be spanked. NO! i most definitely do NOT need to be spanked. Okay… maybe i do. But i won’t say that out loud because i don’t want it, even if i need it!

He managed to get me to orgasm, despite my stubbornness and determination NOT to. Which was really dumb of me to hold out. It only hurt myself. i could’ve probably had more than one, but i just didn’t want to be humble and ASK to orgasm. i didn’t care though.

After we both orgasmed, i picked up my iPad and started typing. David asked me if i was going to report how bratty i was. NO. Why would i do that?! lol.

i couldn’t help but think, “if i tell my readers about being bratty, wouldn’t they wonder why you didn’t spank it out of me?! Who is right here…. Me for being bratty, you for not spanking me, Or none of the above?! i have to say NONE!.

So now i have attempted to give you an (mostly) unbiased opinion of the night’s events.

Yes – i was a brat

No – i did not get spanked for it.

Yes – i probably should have been.

No – i wasn’t going to ask for it!

No – i don’t think i will ask for it tomorrow either!

Yes – instead of a spanking, i got to orgasm. Yet another one. And finally, i am happy and not mad… and still not spanked either.

Hugs,

Marie

274 – Locktober, Sir’s way.

On Sunday, after we arrived back home from visiting our son, David spared me the spanking. i assumed my fate was sealed, but i was wrong. Thank heaven!

MOST of the time, i crave consistency. i need to know that what he says, he means AND what he means, he says. But this was one time that i really had NO desire to be punished. i mean, i would’ve accepted it, but i didn’t think a punishment was exactly warranted. i was trying to make progress with a bunch of noncommittal people, and i responded with annoyance to David’s questions. (Okay, so when i summarize the whole event like this, it does feel like i needed to be punished. Hmm.).

Well, i wasn’t punished. And i was very grateful.

Instead, we had every desire to relax and enjoy the evening. That’s what we did too. We watched tv for awhile, then went to our bed where David played with me and gave me 2-orgasms. Then he said i could play with myself as much as i wanted. i was shocked. i can’t remember a time where he allowed that!

But after a long weekend AND 2-orgasms already, i was relaxed, comfortable, and getting tired. Of course, i did orgasm one more time though too! (Wink wink!)

There was a time where masturbating right beside David while he read his book would’ve been weird for me. Now, i love it. i have learned to have an open mind, body, and soul for him. What’s mine is his, including the right to see me pleasure myself. And make no mistake, even though he was reading his book, he was also watching me! And i know he enjoyed watching and i enjoyed knowing he was watching too.

It wasn’t long afterward and we fell asleep. i sleep naked. David does not. While i am available to him at all times, he’s not always available to me. That’s ok by me too. In fact, in a very tangible way, it establishes that he is entitled to do as he pleases and i am entitled to also do (only) as he pleases too. Not only do i accept that, but it turns me on. i like submitting and being his in every way.

Then came the morning. i showered and started to dress when the directive came to lock it up.

David was going to play golf and because i had opted to work from home, he didn’t want me home alone to sit and play with myself anymore. It was “time to start Locktober anyway.”

So the chastity belt went on, the lock went shut, and the key went away.

That is how my Monday started. That evening, i (jokingly) asked David if he wanted to produce the key and he said, “uh, no.” with a “that was a dumb question” kinda tone.

Then he added, “you don’t need out yet. You don’t need to orgasm and it’s not the end of October.”

i won’t lie, i like wearing the belt when it’s MY idea and i am my own key holder. As in, i can get out anytime i want. Not too big a fan when i have zero control. But i am learning to accept it with mixed emotions. i WANT to accept it as a submissive wife, but the stubborn independent woman i can be does not like this one bit.

It’s not that i needed out. It was that i had the choice taken away. And while this is exactly how it should be, i didn’t like it. Wisely though, i said nothing out loud.

He reached his hand down between my legs and felt the belt. Sir said, “I could cut myself on those sharp groves. No orgasm for you! I best move my hand away before I hurt myself.” And he started to laugh.

The belt has holes where urine can pass but it is a jagged edge there, on purpose, to avoid any attempts to do anything more. Even though if you wanted to try something, the holes aren’t big enough anyway. Still. Getting a finger caught on the jagged edge would be painful for sure.

i was let out on Tuesday morning to go walking and shower. As soon as that was done, i asked Sir, “should i assume the belt goes back on unless told otherwise?”

i fully expected to hear another response like this was a dumb question and the words, “yes, of course it goes back on,” but to my surprise he said, “No, leave it off.”

i didn’t understand and i wasn’t sure how i felt about it. It felt like a privilege to be out, but also somehow “against the rules” (of Locktober.). And yes, of course i realize how contradictory i am being. First i didn’t want in, and not i don’t want out. i guess most of my issue is about the lack of control…. Physically AND mentally. i have no ability to control the lock on the belt anymore than i can control my anticipation about it also. i can’t even plan for in belt or out of belt.

That’s when i realized David makes his own rules and those are the ones that i follow and that’s the rules that matter! i need to adjust my thinking to just accept his authority and decisions as they come and be prepared for whatever decision he makes at that time, instead of trying to control anything at all, including my mindset.

Not much else was said the rest of Tuesday about the belt, Locktober, or orgasms. Tuesday was uneventful and almost disappointing.

Until this morning when David told me he is going out of town from Thursday (tomorrow) to Sunday, and he fully intends to lock me up. Oh wow. i have not been locked for 4-consecutive days and nights without a break at all.

Now you’d think that this wouldn’t be a big deal. i only last week tried to talk David into the whole month of October, so how is 4-days a big deal?! (Not to mention the fact he is telling me 24-hours in advance, so i have plenty of time to adjust my mindset!). Well….. it shouldn’t be.

But it is.

It is because i had “negotiated” that i could be out for showers and walks and he had said he liked to see me orgasm, so i wouldn’t (probably) be locked in for extended periods. But now, i will be.

While i was processing this, i went to work. i decided to text David, “so do you think i can go the duration without begging to be out of the belt?”

“Nope!”

“Will you give me the key then?”

“Maybe. Depends on what you say is the reason for needing it.”

i continued to ask questions. “What if it’s just because i am cranky and want out, so i want the key?”

“Really?”

“Okay, so i should assume that would be a no?”

“Correct.”

And i continued further…. “What if i get so cranky that i just start to bug the crap out of you to give me the key?”

“Then you’ll regret pissing me off like that.”

Okay, so i should have stopped but i didn’t. “What if i just don’t fully lock the lock? You never check. You just believe me that i did it.”

“Sounds like you are testing me. If I have to lock the lock myself before I leave, I will. But do I have reason to believe you’ll lie to me?!”

“No Sir. i haven’t lied. But i could…. OR …. Instead of being deceitful, i could just refuse to be in the belt and locked up altogether.”

“You could. But you won’t.”

“What makes you so sure i won’t refuse??”

“Because the alternatives to NOT being locked up while I’m gone are probably worse than being locked up.”

“You wouldn’t be that mean to me, Sir. Would you??”

“Wanna try me?”

“Hmm. No Sir. Probably not a wise move on my part.”

“First smart thing you’ve said in most of this conversation. Either way, tomorrow morning, you have a choice to make now… get locked in by me where I’ll check the lock myself, or face the alternative consequences.”

Locktober may not be a constant and consecutive 31-days, but one thing is for sure, i have to learn to cope without having the key or control better! And be prepared for 4-consecutive days about to commence in chastity.

Off to enjoy my last free night for awhile.

Hugs,

Marie