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202 – Types of Spankings

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While a spanking is just what it sounds like, there are still different types and each type is used for a different purpose.

i want to talk about each one now and how we use them in our relationship dynamic.

In general though: ALL SPANKINGS HURT.

Honestly, that’s the point. They wouldn’t be worth doing at ALL if they didn’t. i am always walking away from a spanking with a sore butt. How sore or for how long it’s sore is what changes.

And each type serves a different ultimate purpose too. So again, they all hurt, but depending on the goal, it may be a little hurt or a lotta hurt.

So with that – i will talk about the types in terms of least hurt to most hurt….

1) Sexy fun. Most of the time, when sex is involved, the spanking is the least important part, causing it to be the least painful of all spankings.

This is typically the fun, smack-you-on-the-ass and inspire one another to have a better sex scene in the process.

Mostly this spanking is not on that is a “you are here to be spanked” event, but rather “you are here to be fucked – oh, and I’m going to spank you too.”

Sometimes after these, i don’t feel any pain what do ever. It was a sting in the moment and all done with that, and on to the good part!

2) Stress relief. For me OR Him. Frequently i come home stressed out. And when i do, it results in me being cranky, sometimes rude, and short tempered overall.

David usually doesn’t stand for this long. It can go on a day or two before he acts, depending on the circumstances but rarely does it go longer. That’s when he says “the stress….and attitude… will stop now. Go assume the position.”

These are more intentional than the sex spanks, and can be one of the longest types of spanking. Sir starts out with the warm-up-the-butt to get the blood flowing and from there smack! When there are warm up spanks, the blood is flowing better to the area and your bottom responds better to the harder smacks.

As such, the ultimate result is effective! The stress tends to subside, along with my attitude. Primarily because it immediately gives me something else to focus on.

These vary in length, but generally are enough to turn my ass red. And i usually feel it for the remainder of the day.

3) Friday maintenance. These hurt. Yes, i know i said they all hurt, and they do. But of the types spoken about so far, this is the first one that i would say i usually respect, always accept, but NEVER want.

i’d probably say these are most understood by people who don’t practice it, both in and out of the DD lifestyle. The purpose is to reinforce the good. A lot of people ask, “why spank if it ain’t broke?” Well, it’s a physical, tangible reminder of what could be a lot worse (punishment) if things were indeed broken.

The words, “it could be a lot worse” are key. It’s a sample of something that could be a lot worse! And when that sample proves to be enough to instill the thoughts of, “if THIS is maintenance, i do NOT want to go to the full-on spanking!” And it causes me to rethink my behavior, and act right before it does become broken!

Maintenance spankings usually cause me to get back on track in a hurry! They have never made me cry, but i won’t lie, it has been close a few times too. They don’t usually have the warm-up-spanks as they are intended to hurt more. It can be anywhere grim 5-25’ish swats, where most are delivered with intention. They always make my ass sting and turn red, with bruising on occasion. And it always hurts the rest of the day, sometimes into the next day too.

Most of the time, our maintenance is scheduled. But sometimes, it’s not. Sometimes it is impromptu. When this happens, it’s because my behavior is not quite bad enough for a full spanking, but definitely not to be ignored and a warning isn’t enough either.

But it always hurts. Because ALL spankings do.

And it’s effective in (usually) avoiding the BIG one!

4) Discipline. Grand daddy of all! Ok, these are just down right painful. By design. They hurt. A lot. Always.

These are for the express purpose of correcting a wrong. These are the ones everyone thinks about when they think about spankings.

These are the ones that “make you remorseful for your actions” type. The kind that usually make me cry, my bottom hurt for a longgggg time, and i regret those bad decisions. Immediately.

They are extremely effective. And they temper the bad behavior, cause me to wish i had never done it, and (try) to never do it again.

i have landed myself here only a handful of times. That’s good! But when i do land here, i never want to be here again. Every time i start promising to be better, begging for it to stop, waiting and hoping Sir will deem the repentance acceptable and complete.

Tears ALWAYS fall. And they should too. If I land myself here, i should be made to regret it. (And so should any sub! If you are not ever here, then your Dom isn’t spanking hard enough. And if you are the Dom and never seen her cry, you need to rethink if those disciplines are effective!)

That said, i honestly don’t even remember the last time i had one of these. i would need to scroll back through my posts to find it, read it, and remember that way. That’s good AND bad.

It’s good that i usually am not in need of these. i usually do the right thing. i am usually on the right side of the submissiveness measurement stick!

It’s also bad though. Because when i can’t remember AND i develop a “i don’t give a shit” attitude, i tend to land myself back to this level of punishment.

i think this is the one that generates the most comments on my site. People are either turned on (and likely orgasming!) to my stories…. OR…. They become convinced i am being abused – physically AND mentally. i get more comments and emails about this type of post every-single-time.

i am ok with the generated excitement – both good and bad. i know i am NOT turned on by punishment spankings because i am too busy focusing on “how can i get this stop and NEVER happen again”. i also know i am NOT abused in any way. i accept the punishment willingly. And i am of sound mind that i know he has not brainwashed me into this either.

For the record, i usually can’t sit down without feeling the sting for somewhere between 24-48 hours. But i have never had permanent marks, or otherwise damaged skin or bones or body! (Again, NOT abused!)

So – since it’s Friday – i will leave you with a pic of an ass that looks pretty similar to mine after Sir executed a particularly intense maintenance spanking…..

197 – Zip to the conclusion

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** this is a continuation of a previous post. You should probably read it first…. zipper-fun-and-games

“Game on!” is how i responded too!

We had an amazing dinner and by the time we left the restaurant, even K thought he was married to me! My acting was superb! And i won’t lie, J did a convincing job with David too.

OF course, we were both looking for any opportunity to have the other’s jeans unzipped too. My zippers were “almost” fully intact…. But they were indeed a bit down in front AND back.

As dinner went on, J implied i was over doing my story and told K to unzip a zipper. It was after i was hanging on K’s arm and my hand slid down his leg and back up again. She said my act would have been appropriate for a younger version of us if or when we were still dating, but not at our age and term of marriage.

Of course, i think K was enjoying himself as i could feel his cock swell to my touch but he didn’t resist the order to lower my zipper either.

That was the first zipper move, the second happened was over dessert. J caught me winking at David after i drank those 2 glasses of wine. i always get amorous when i get tipsy, and that’s where i was when J said, “uhm… wrong husband. K, please lower Marie’s zipper once more!” And he did.

The last zipper move happened as i was carried away telling a story about work, where i was complaining about a client. David was the one then to say the zipper needed to come down more as he said, “we are all here to escape reality, not relive it.”

When dinner was done, i won’t lie i was a bit nervous to stand up for fear of whether or not my pants would stay up! Of course, i was very much somewhere between tipsy and drunk so i trudged forward and stood confidently!

My pants didn’t fall off as i stood up, thankfully! But they were definitely loose for sure. With that, i announced i had to use the bathroom before we left. David told J to go with me, and make sure when i came out my pants’ zippers were still in the same place as they were at that moment going in. i rolled my eyes and said, “Fine.”

And David said, “J, on second thought, be sure to lower a zipper just a bit further. Marie, that’s your own doing for that eye roll.”

After J escorted me to the bathroom and back, we started down toward the waterway to walk a bit and end up at the park. K & i walked in front of David & J, when i heard J say, “Marie, those pants are pretty loose there!”

And everyone laughed. Except me. Instead, i asked David, “Sir, are her comments in line with what you’d expect of your submissive wife?”

He said, “Marie. I agree. I’m not sure that those comments were very submissive for sure! Should I lower her zipper?”

“i thought you’d never ask Sir! Yes, please do!” And he did. i heard J utter “fuck!” Under her breathe to which K said, “oh now, J, that wasn’t necessary either. David, lower her zipper again.”

She was the first to break about all this. She stopped walking and spit out the words, “what the fuck? I can’t walk around in public this way with my ass hanging half out! This is ridiculous now.”

i put my arms around her neck and said, “J, relax. This is all good. You ought to just flow with it. Your husband -nor K or i- won’t allow anything bad to happen. Trust me on that one!”

And we embraced in a hug. After we both relaxed there for just a minute, we released one another and resumed our walk. We all just walked together in a comfortable silence then until we reached the park.

By the time we sat down on the bench, both of mine and J’s pants were truly hanging and near falling off from the walking motions and gravity. We were both pretty grateful for the night sky and the shadows falling all around us. It gave us the natural dark shadows we both needed at that time. Of course, our husbands didn’t get too far from us though either, so that helped too.

The bench was big enough for all four of us to sit and talk. The men were on the outside with us girls on the inside. And the night air was cool and fresh, giving us reason to snuggle in tight too.

As we did, i felt a hand slide down my pants and touch my clit. Of course, it wasn’t hard to do when my pants were hanging so low. i gasped as i felt it. i looked at David with almost panic in my eyes. i mean we We were in public and i was being fondled David said, “Marie. Let it happen. This is good. Do you understand me?”

“Yes Sir. i will.” And he was right, it did feel good! But of course, like J a few minutes before, i was keenly aware we were in public view too!

And that’s when i heard K laugh and say, “Your clit feels so wet and slick.” And that’s when his fingers slid right inside me as he then added, “and your folds are so engulfing. They just swallowed up my fingers. I think you like this.”

i responded by saying, “i don’t like it…. i love it! Thank you Sir.” (Ok, i wasn’t as concerned about being in public as J was … i was just trying to “let it happen” as my real-life husband had instructed. Plus the previous wine helped too.)

i turned my head toward J & David, where J was looking at me. At that moment, she leaned in and kissed me deeply. i was so overwhelmed with all this but in such an incredibly good way too. (Like i said, just let it happen… and wine helping a lot too!).

It was then that i saw David’s hand unzip J’s front so far down that she was exposed for all to see. Of course, no one walking by had any idea she was sitting on the bench with no panties on and on display because it was just that dark.

She stopped kissing me and said, “NO!” And grabbed at her pant zipper.

Before she could pull David’s hand away, i laid my hand over hers holding her hand frozen in place and said, “do you mean no? We don’t use no, but rather red, yellow, and green.”

After i explained further, i asked her, “As David’s wife tonight, look at him and tell him what color you are really feeling right now!”

She turned to David and said, “Yellow Sir.”

And he said, “That’s a good girl. We will let you sit right here like this for a bit to get more comfortable.”

All the while, K’s hand never stopped moving in my pants. i asked him, “what color do you think i am at Sir?”

He laughed and said, “oh you are so green, you are green to the highest power!”

i don’t remember who, but someone suggested we move from the bench. J & i both agreed we were only moving after the zippers came back to a more covering appropriate position. And so it was.

As we walked back toward our cars, we discovered we were parked side by side. K must have been the first to realize our cars were completely cast in shadows, to which K asked David if he could say good night by unzipping my zippers all the way in two halves while standing between the cars.

David responded with, “only if I get to reply in kind with J.” And that’s how i found myself standing in public completely exposed from front to back. To keep my pants from falling away, i grabbed each half in each hand and held on.

It was then that someone walked by and as K saw them looking our way, he pushed me against the car and started kissing me. i couldn’t tell if that was a rouse or intentional, but that’s when he pulled his cock out of his pants, spread my legs, and fucked me right there been the cars.

It all happened so fast that all i could do was hang on to my pants and enjoy the moment. He moved so fast and furious. It was raw sex with one goal in mind: cum as fast as possible!

In no time, he orgasmed inside me. i thanked him the same as i always do with David. Yes, i thank David after sex for the gift… of attention, love, affection, and orgasm. But also for using me in a way that is pleasing to him. i like to be his service submissive!

With that, K opened my door and i sat down with my pants still in two halves. And we said good bye to our friends.

i waited for David to come to the driver side and get in the car. When he got in he asked, “Have fun tonight, WIFE?”

“Yes Sir, i did. But i have a question… was all this planned out beforehand? Like all the way to this very end?”

He lifted my hand, kissed it, and smiled. He said, “What do you think?”

i thought for a minute and said, “it probably doesn’t really matter. i know who I belong to, who i ultimately submit to, who i go home with, and i had fun.”

With that, he dropped my hand, stuck a finger deep inside my pussy that of course was still on display, and said, “Let’s go home then.”

Hugs,

Marie

195 – Pick one… second chance

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As i got out of the shower today, David asked me to “Pick One”.

My choices were:

1) Anal Plug

2) Inflatable Dildo

3) Chastity

When i started to ask questions like “purpose, length of time (to wear), would the inflatable go in my front hole or back, i was greeted with a look that said it all. It was a look i have seen and know well, that said, “You should know better to ask questions. You should show your trust.”

And the only words he said was, “I asked you to pick.”

All of these have consequences, and rewards too.

i chose anal plug.

He smiled and responded with, “can I assume you’ll wear it much longer than you did this last time?”

“Yes Sir”

He said, “Good. Now present your bottom on the bed while I go get it ready”

So i went to the bed. i got on all fours, with my ass in the air, head buried in the bed. i used my hands to pull my butt cheeks apart. And waited.

It wasn’t but a minute, when i felt David touch the tip to my anal opening.

He said, “I’ll press it a bit but then I want you to push your muscles open so your sphincter will open to it. When you are ready, you should then press back onto it so it will go in slide your ass. I want to ultimately have you put this into your own ass while I just hold it.”

“Yes Sir”

And i did. i am always grateful when he lets me do it this way because i can accept it slowly into my ass at my own tempo. It is always an easier entrance for me, plus of course, he also has a VISIBLE confirmation that i am doing this of my own free will.

Side bar – sometimes i get emails or comments that people are concerned about my well being. i truly understand that you may not think it, but i do this of my own free will. i can promise you, i am well – mentally and physically. i truly DO love my Disciplined Life!

So after i got the plug fully seated inside my ass, David pulled me off the bed and toward him. He wrapped his arms around my naked body and pulled me to him. He kissed me passionately. Then he smiled at me and said, “you make me so happy. I am proud of you and all that you do for me.”

He continued, “Now get dressed. Remember no bra or panties. You’ll have to hold the plug in without aids today. We will see how your day goes, but if you are good, we can probably see about shortening your no-cum week. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet.”

He released his hold on me, gave my ass a big hard (playful) slap, and said, “now don’t make us late for church. Hurry it up my sweet girl.”

As i was headed to the closest, he added, “Oh, just so you know…. This is your second chance this week. Had you picked one of the others, you wouldn’t have a second chance just yet. But with the same sexual tool in place now as what you had a few days ago, I want to give you a second chance to be the best submissive wife you can be. I will let you know when it comes out, and if you make it, you can have a reward tonight!”

T-H-I-S is love between us! i love how we have sexual energies, as well as tensions, in our marriage! The love i have for T-H-I-S man is extraordinary. And when i perform acts of submissive service that please him, like wearing an anal plug for some undefined time – just because he wanted me to, i know he loves me too.

Wonder how long i will make it today. Hopefully much longer than Thursday!! And hopefully the week will be shortened!

Stay tuned…. We will see if today is better!

And now off to church to worship Christ while giving my submissiveness to my husband.

Hugs,

Marie

188 – Pray & Obey

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While i talk a lot about sex or sex-related or fictional sex stuff, i do believe my DD relationship is more than that.

I believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.

And i believe that when you pray, your prayers are answered in full. Now that said, it’s not that i always get the exact answers i want. But i always DO get answers. Meaning, God isn’t Santa Claus. i don’t get to have a wishlist and it all comes true the minute i ask for it. i am not entitled to everything i want or think i have to have.

In fact, think about it….. if we all got what we wanted, wouldn’t we be a world of selfish people? And how would that even be possible anyway? Meaning, what would happen if someone prayed (and it was answered “yes”) for something to happen, but someone else prayed for the exact opposite to happen? How do both people get what they prayed for?

Example:

HIM: “I am going to ask her to marry me. And Lord, please let her say yes.”

HER: “Lord I’m not sure I want to marry him. Please don’t let him ask me to marry him.”

Who wins? How is it possible for both to get what they want?

i pray (almost) everyday over every meal, i pray before bedtime…. and i pray before being spanked.

Now i am fully aware i am taking the verse in this pic a bit out of context here….. but….. it is true for me that i pray in my bedroom with no one around to see.

When i am told to “Assume The Position,” to be spanked that means i go to our bedroom, in silence and in compliance, alone, and take all clothing off. i then bend at the waist, with my top half laying over the bed and my feet flat on the floor, spread at shoulder width.

And i wait.

Most of the time, the wait for Sir to come in and administer the spanking is just a few minutes. But Sir has been known to take longer too.

i always feel my heart racing and my pulse throbbing with anxiousness and anticipation.

While i accept punishments and i know i have done something to deserve the punishment, i do not like the punishment.

So i pray while i wait for him to come in.

Alone, in my bedroom, with no one to see…. i pray.

i pray all sorts of things, but mostly it is for me to have an open, loving, accepting attitude. To have God lead David’s mind and hand as he pulls me back – mentally and physically- to the place i need to be. That David does it with a loving heart, and God’s guidance.

i also pray that David feels God’s presence as he leads our family and does God’s will for us in this moment, but every moment. That David seeks God’s will at all times.

All this to say – even in spite of being naked, preparing to have a painful reminder of wrongdoing, i pray in secret and alone.

And i only tell you because i firmly believe “Pray without Ceasing” and “Give praise and Thanksgiving in all that you do” and God will he just and fair.

And when i pray in my room, He will reward me!

Now time to get to work and pray i can stay out of trouble today!

Hugs,

Marie

143 – Intentional Dependence

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This post was made awhile ago. i woke up today to find it in my “drafts” instead of the “posts”. So…. one more technical problem. Sorry! But now that it has happened twice, i know what the problem is… i just have to determine how to fix it.

SO IF YOU READ THIS BEFORE, YOU CAN STOP NOW. OR… RE-READ FOR A REFRESHER. YOUR CHOICE…..

The last post (#142 Toughest Part) ended with me posing this question, also from a reader who emailed me…….

Why would i want to be dependent on my husband and how does he take on this responsibility without effectively having to become my parent?

This is a great question. It happens to be two questions wrapped into one. i think the first part (why would i want to be [that] dependent on my husband) is about me, but the second part (Responsibility….Without him having to become my parent) is about him.

The first part…. about ME.

(i like talking about ME! But don’t think i am that arrogant. It’s mostly because i know who i am. Whereas when i talk about others, i have to speculate about their intentions or thoughts. So it’s just easier to talk about me!)

Dependent upon my husband….. i happen to think every good marriage should be this way! Dependent upon one another. D/s or not!

If you don’t depend on one another, you don’t meld and bond. Like how a welder makes two things become one. The bond is stronger after he/she welds them together.

My nephew took a welding class in high school as an elective. When they had a project, the pass/fail test was to drop the “thing” on the floor. If it broke apart, it didn’t result in a good grade. If it stayed together, it was a passing grade. And how well it stayed together, fully or partially, determined how good the grade ultimately was.

Isn’t a marriage that way? If it falls and breaks, it is bound to fail. But if it falls, but holds together, that’s a sign of success! The key though isn’t to focus on the falling part, but the bond that holds it together in the first place. The stronger the bond, the stronger the two pieces welded together…. and a marriage too.

Which ultimately means…… when the two things depend upon one another they form a bond that is actually stronger together than apart. So from a submissive standpoint, i’d actually say being dependent upon my husband is critical and vice versa too.

Now that’s the result of being dependent… a stronger bond. But what dependence means is giving up control. Giving up the ability to say what i want, when i want, to whom i want. And not just speaking, but doing also.

It does NOT mean though that i am some robot and my remote control is in his hands. i still very much think on my own and make decisions! It just means i gain approval and authority for “big stuff” (or anything we previously agreed would be in his purview) before moving forward with my plan.

For example, i know that David loves to cook and he loves me to be home by 6 for dinner. If i want to go out to happy hour/dinner with friends, i have to ask first. But it’s not like he will (probably) say no. i mostly ask out of courtesy and respect. What if he already planned dinner, went to the store for the necessities, and had it half cooked when i just “announced” i wasn’t going to be home for dinner at all? That’s just rude. And inconsiderate. So…. i ask permission first rather than telling him. And when i ask, i am fully aware the answer may be “no.” And if it is no, i tell my co-workers that i’m not able to attend. i don’t have to give an explanation as to “why”, but if i do say why, it’s never derogatory about or towards David. i never say things like, “He won’t allow me to go.”

So ultimately why i want to be dependent upon him, is because i want to meld together with my husband that ultimately builds a stronger bond.

Which makes ME think the opposite… why wouldn’t you want to be dependent upon your spouse?

And that brings me to the second part…. how does he take on this responsibility without effectively having to become my parent?

We are each our own person. He is not “responsible” for me, i am! i am still responsible to dress, eat, work, abide by laws, and … well…. be responsible for me.

He is, however, the guiding light. He is the one to make final decisions. He is the one who should be in charge.

So he is not my parent, but rather the “head of household”. Just like there is one chief of the Indians, one Queen of the Royal Family, one President of the United States, and so on… there is but one Head of Household. And that’s not me. And i readily accepted my “second” in command as Vice President or Second in command.

We work best when only one of us are making decisions, and the other is following.

So ultimately he is not a parent to me anymore than the President is my parent. And yet, the President makes decisions and signs into law things that i abide by.

The difference between David and the President is David makes decisions that have a direct, literal, and VERY close-to-my-heart impact.

Now all that said, David does sometimes slip, not lead, or not be responsible. Because he’s sick, tired, worn out, or… stressed and depressed. No one acts the exact same way every day. And…. it’s ok.

But admittedly those are the times when our house doesn’t run as smoothly. We tend to have more troubles in our marriage and life when he is “off” than when he is “on.”

But…. that’s when we have to communicate even more, i have to try even more to be the best submissive i can be, and to be patient to get through those times as smoothly as possible.

And trust in our melded …. and welded…. marriage and lifestyle.

Hugs,

Marie