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Tag: husband in control

294 – Punished. Once, Twice, basically Three times.

i received a pretty large discipline spanking yesterday. As with ALL my discipline, it is consensual. And i accept it with as much grace as i can muster in the moment.

That said…. It takes some kind of rare talent for what i managed to do.

While being spanked, i managed to get myself into trouble again. And if you want to be technical about it, the spanking in progress at the time was for a double error, making this one be the third! Three issues in one day!

So David kept right on spanking to fix all these errors at the same time. He used his new favorite tool… the riding crop. And from the first swat to the last, they were delivered with intention and strength that resulted in my attitude radically changing rather rapidly and swiftly too!

Who does that?! How does that even happen?!

HOW exactly does a submissive wife get herself in trouble a second time while in the midst of being spanked for the first bit of trouble she already brought on herself?!

Yah, well, like i said… i managed to do all this with some sort of special ability that i didn’t even realize i had! Just call me a regular super hero!

i didn’t do ANY of this on purpose. In fact, it was quite the opposite actually. After receiving the maintenance on Friday, i was none-to-eager to have a repeat or better performance from David with my butt as the target!

But. As i sit here writing, my rear end is still red and quite sore. i expect it to bruise by tomorrow and hurt for several days. i won’t lie though, i love David even more for having administered this discipline spanking with the swift action and exactness it called for. i need his leadership and with it sometimes the discipline too. Today, i got both!

What exactly even happened?

Earlier today, our son and i set out of the house doing errands and other related activities. At one point, David texted me and asked if i was near Sam’s wholesale club. “Yes Sir.

Then he texted, “Then can you stop and get paper towels, dog treats, and 409 cleaning liquid?” And despite the wording as a question, it really wasn’t a question at all. So my response was the same…. “Yes Sir.”

And we did. Only, as i walked around the store, i thought about the 409 and said to our son, “We don’t need to get that. When Dad & i were cleaning out the garage a few weeks ago, i saw we have about 2-3 large bottles of it.” So i didn’t get the 409.

THAT WAS MISTAKE #1. Do you know exactly what it was? i didn’t. But i was absolutely informed about it while being spanked!

Upon arriving home, i told David straight away that i did not purchase the 409. He said, “we do NOT have any. What we have 2-3 bottles of is Windex window cleaner.”

To which my heart sank.

i realized he was right.

It wasn’t 409 cleaning solution, but rather Windex window solution that we discovered how much we truly had when cleaning up the garage.

And THAT WAS MISTAKE #2. To which i was also told more about as i was being spanked too.

David was angry. He said, “I needed the 409 to clean my grill thoroughly. I told you I needed it and you said you’d buy it.”

“i am sorry Sir.”

“I think you know what you need to do now, don’t you?”

“Yes Sir. i’ll go Assume The Position now.”

As i (fully) undressed in our bedroom, it occurred to me that i was not *truly* naked as i was still in my chastity belt. i debated whether to take it off to be compliant with my directive to be naked when i am spanked. But then, i didn’t have permission to take it off either. Then i debated going back out to the living room to ask, so i would have a clear directive. i ultimately decided to leave it on, in its place, and climb on the bed to be in position before David came in. THAT CHOICE WAS NOT A MISTAKE….. THANK GOD I MADE ONE GOOD DECISION TODAY!

When Sir came in, i was laying in position…. Face down, pillow under my hips to offer up my ass to Sir and to make the spanking easier for him, with the choice of implements (crop, cane, paddle) all at the base of the bed at the ready.

He picked one up, and laid it gently on my rear. i could tell from the way he placed it there, he was being intentional about it. He wanted me to know and think about what exactly was about to happen.

And i could also tell from the way it felt that it was the riding crop. Then he started to speak to me. He said, “I have no idea why you didn’t buy the 409, as I told you to. Care to tell me why?”

“Because i was certain we had it already.”

And the riding crop was pulled back from my bottom, giving me another 2-seconds notice of what i was about to feel. i heard the crop whip through the air and the crack it made as it collided with my ass.

i was immediately brought into the here-and-now, where i was abundantly aware of how much the crop bites into my rear end. From that very first swat, all the way to the last, it HURT… a LOT!

That’s when Sir laid it back on my bottom and spoke again, “wouldn’t it have been better to ask me before taking it upon yourself to just not do as I asked of you?”

“Well…. yes Sir, i probably should have.”

And the crop came away and SMACKED right down again. This second swat landing in the exact same spot as the first, causing it to hurt that much more!

“But you didn’t.”

Smack a third time in the exact same spot again.

“Would it have been so difficult for you to have just bought it anyway? What ‘if’ we did have some at home already, what would be the big deal to have had more? What would have been the trouble to have more?”

“No trouble at all Sir.”

“And yet. You didn’t do as you were told. Instead, you decided to not do as you were told. Since when are YOU in charge and allowed to disobey me so blatantly and obviously like that? It was a rather simple request, to which you said yes to. Correct”

MISTAKE #1 was simply failing to submit. All i had to do was follow the directive. Regardless of what i thought of it or what we had at home already, it wasn’t my place to “just decide” to NOT follow his orders.

MISTAKE #2 was the fact we actually didn’t have any. And i was dead wrong about not needing to buy the 409.

He was right to ask for me to buy it, i was already at the store, even “if” we had some at home it’s not expensive and wouldn’t have mattered to have more. i should’ve just done as told, or asked for more clarity, but Just deciding to do as i pleased was NOT the right answer at all.

Sir said, “because you chose to deny my orders intentionally, you earned yourself a spanking regardless if we had it or not. You were not acting in a submissive way at all. You thought you knew better. But the fact that we didn’t have any at home has caused this spanking to be worse than it had to be because you were wrong in your decision to not buy it.”

His riding crop continued to rain down swats to my ass as i contemplated all that he said. Every time i felt it pull away from my bottom i cringed and held my breath waiting for it to find its next resting place. Some of the time it was in the exact same location and sometimes it moved, to a new one. Some of the time the swats landed swiftly and succinctly and sometimes he paused and drew it out. But every-single-one was delivered with intention to make its point…. And that it did indeed!

Smack. After Smack. After Smack.

i felt the anxiousness and anticipation of each swat about to land cause my body to start to sweat. That happens nearly every time. i think that’s part of why i don’t cry really. Because my mind and body is in a different place, trying to get through each moment of the here-and-now, rather than allowing myself to relax and just let out the emotions.

THIS IS WHERE I PILED IT ON…

THIS is where i managed to get into even more trouble in the midst of being corrected for the previous trouble!

“What will you do next time?” Sir asked me.

i spewed out words as fast as i could and said, “i will listen.”

MISTAKE #3… causing me to have an even longer and more prolonged spanking. Do you know what i did? Or rather what i did NOT do? (i did not know or realize in that moment.)

SMACK!

“What will you do?”

“i will do as you ask.”

SMACK – this one felt a bit harder, if that was even possible.

“What did you say?”

“i promise i will listen.”

S-M-A-C-K.

“Want to try again?”

And i practically yelled out, “i will do as i am told. … …. … … SIR”

There it was. The lightbulb went off. i failed to show him the respect he deserves and has reminded me over and over again. i failed to say SIR.

SMACK SMACK SMACK (yet even MORE intensity).

He then held the crop still against my bottom again and he spoke quite calmly saying, “I don’t know why using the word Sir is so difficult for you! I expect to hear it, and you know it. So NOW this spanking has to be even longer than it already was.”

And he continued to reign down swats with the riding crop onto my sore rear end for a bit longer.

Now i started to feel the same heat rising from my bottom, all the way to my face. (Sir has NEVER spanked me anywhere except my ass, so the heat was not from his hand or the riding crop. It was all within me.). i know this is the first thing that happens when tears are nearing the surface.

i was finally starting to relax into the spanking and to accept it. The anxiousness of feeling each swat was starting to fade. i heard my mind telling myself, “Just allow it to happen. Just relax into the knowledge… and pain from the crop… that Sir is in charge. He loves you enough to teach you a lesson. Allow the tears to form!”

He asked me several times to repeat the word “Sir,” as he continued to smack my ass. i did so. He told me i would do well to comment the word to memory.

It was just a bit more and David stopped. He told me we were done and he waited for me to rise up onto my knees and face him, he always does that. i think i he wants to ensure i am ok, but also for me to see his face and trust that this is now forgiven too.

It’s also where i look into his eyes and with a humble heart, i express my thanks to him. He has never required that i do so, but i do. i want to be sure to let him know i did indeed accept his discipline. i never want him to think he has forced this on me or that this may be somehow misconstrued into an abusive situation. It is not. i am always accepting and thankful for his leadership and guidance… and the discipline too.

That’s when he kissed my lips and expressed his love. Then he left the room and i took a few more minutes to collect myself and re-dress.

As i did so, i decided i needed to go to the store and buy the 409 as he had previously asked. Not only did indeed to have a sore bottom and a regretful disposition, but i needed to make it right by doing the actions requested of me too.

And i did just that. After coming out with my shoes on, i said to David “i will go to the store and buy the 409 you requested now.”

He smiled and then said, “Good idea…. Of course… it would’ve been a lot easier to have gotten it the first time you were there… would it?!”

“Yes SIR.” << i am going to be using that word a lot more now!

i never did cry during the spanking. Frequently i cry AFTERWARD when i stop and think about it all, as that’s when everything relaxes and the tears start to flow freely. i’m not entirely sure if David even knows that happens or not. It’s ok either way.

But as i drove to the store… listening to nothing but my own thoughts…. the tears slowly dripped down my cheeks. i wasn’t crying from the pain of the spanking, although the heat between my butt and the car seat was real (!), but rather the fact i wasn’t the submissive wife i wanted to be. i know all is forgiven now, but i was thinking about all that transpired and the remorse was real.

David was right. If I had just done as instructed, all of this could’ve been avoided.

i will learn from this and do better.

PS.. The chastity belt…

Oh… and in case you are wondering…. The Chastity Belt stayed on throughout. It wasn’t even a second thought for David or me in the midst of the spanking.

Afterward, i told him about my quandary of whether to take it off, or ask, or to just leave it on. His words were, “you made at least one good choice today. If I want it off, you will hear me tell you so.”

After i was home from the store and after dinner, i asked if I could take the belt off and take a soaking/warm bath. Sir said yes. And when it was done, i inquired if it needed to go back on. He said, “while you have been disciplined today and all is forgiven, you have NOT earned the right to play or be played with.”

He continued, “If you think you don’t have the willpower to abstain, then yes, put the belt back on. But I think you’ve learned your lesson today and don’t wish another immediate spanking on top of the first, ….. because if you disobey me and play with yourself anyway, I will spank you again. So the choice is yours….”

i chose to leave it off. But in the middle of the night, as i turned over in my groggy sleep, i felt the covers cross slightly over my clit bringing hyper awareness to my mind and turning me on. i wanted to rub my clit SO badly. i debated whether i should have put on the belt already or even getting up to do it at that moment, but decided to try to ignore it. It took awhile to go back to sleep, but i did abstain. (Phew!)

Now i am off to find some cotton pants to wear to work today…….

Hugs,

Marie

292 – i was bad, and now we are good

Today is Friday. i haven’t had a maintenance spanking in a longgggg time. It was middle of September the last time i was spanked for maintenance purposes.

While it’s been awhile since i wrote about the Types of Spankings, when i re-read it tonight, i would say it’s all still true.

Maintenance Spankings work. They hurt. They are intended to. They are preemptive in curbing bad attitudes/activities before they get so bad it has to be punishment. They are also reminders of what could be worse if i keep on doing bad things. (i also think maintenance does David good too. He wields his hand and exerts his authority. He’s reminded how to be Dominate every time too.)

Today’s maintenance was needed. Much needed. Probably a good two weeks or more overdue!

i was reluctant to tell David (or even suggest) that he needed to spank me. Because i try hard to NOT tell him how or when to do his job. i know i have tendencies to Top From The Bottom. i have tried VERY hard to stop.

But it puts me in a quandary of not being able to get what i need without asking too. Of course, the key word in that last sentence is ASKING, as compared to TELLING. If i ASK, i shall receive. But it’s wrong to TELL or demand or command. Admittedly, i have not mastered the skill of “just” asking…. Yet. But i am working on it too!

When i don’t get spanked, i get antsy, cranky, and generally stressed out. i know that sounds dumb. But it’s so true. My anxiety goes way up as i am left to my own devices. When i am spanked, i am brought down a notch, reminded to be submissive, and the endorphins are released bringing about stress-relief.

My biggest wish is that David would see how good it is for me and be CONSISTENT to do it when it’s needed. Or on a routine schedule. Or both.

Well… usually… when he is consistent…. It’s done on Friday’s. We decided that ages ago. It sets the right tone for the weekend and gets things started “right.” But as mentioned, we haven’t done it in a long time. But today, we did.

As i was in the shower, i was debating, “do i ask to be spanked or not?!” And i thought, “i am just going to tell him how much i need it.” And then i thought, “that’s the wrong way to do this. Go ask him to do it.” And then i continued my mental battle by saying, “but if he says NO, it’s going to be a full-on meltdown for me.”

So, i had no clear path forward but got out of the shower anyway. Right about that moment, David came into the bathroom and greeted me. He leaned in and gave me a kiss too. Then he straightened up and said, “I need to do maintenance. Go Assume The Position.”

Ok. That settled that!

So i didn’t say a word and just did as told.

He used the riding crop. It started out smooth and tame and even easy. Then it became more intense with swift strikes to my ass.

As i started to feel the heat rise in my butt, i was squirming around a lot. David is always standing as i am on the bed, so he was in a prime position to use a single hand to press down on my lower back causing me to be pinned between the bed and him. i was no longer able to move.

He struck my bottom over and over.

i could tell it was doing it’s job and calming my thoughts. i was focused on nothing but holding still, enduring what i knew i craved and ultimately needed, and taking it with grace and submissive acceptance.

Eventually i was to my breaking point and was begging him to stop. Begging never works. i do have safe words. When i call “yellow” it is to signal to David that i need him to give me a break, or to slow down, or otherwise consider stopping. Ironically, i can’t seem to find the right words to ask to be spanked, but a single word is all i have to utter to give David a proper and kind request to slow down. But he still has all authority to continue or to stop, until i say the word “red.” So he retains control the whole time. Wish i had a single word to start in the same way i have a word to stop!

When i couldn’t take anymore, i uttered “yellow Sir!” And he decided to stop entirely. i suspect if this was a full-on punishment, he’d not have stopped at all. But i was grateful that today he did stop.

i was still in position when he spoke a question that we both knew was rhetorical. He asked, “are you wet?!” And his fingers found their mark. My body always betrays me by releasing my juices every time i am spanked. i don’t feel turned on or sexually aroused by the spanking, yet, my puss always tells another story. He knew he’d find a dripping wet pussy as he touched it.

He left his one hand on the small of my back as his other hand’s fingers primed my holes. i felt a finger enter my front and another invade my back hole simultaneously. And then he began to hold me in place as his fingers started to stroke my sex. It took just a minute or so before i begged my Sir if i could orgasm, and after he said yes, i let all my juices flow freely.

After i recovered and came to my senses fully, i thanked my Sir properly.

He could tell my mind was then “thinking” and he asked me to share my thoughts.

i asked if we were good now. He said, “I think we are.”

When i asked him why he has not spanked me for the previous weeks, where i was “all but daring” him to do so, he said, “because I wanted to see what you’d do.”

i said, “act poorly.”

He said, “I know. That’s why we had a maintenance where you called yellow. I was determined to go a long time today. And if this doesn’t work, we will repeat until you call red.”

i think we are good.

i knew we would be. i just wanted it to be awhile ago already.

(i’ll write about the new belt and what i think of it very soon.. as i am sitting locked in place now.)

Hope your Friday was as good as mine! 😉

Hugs,

Marie

285 – Fiction for now … but maybe not for always.

While this is currently fiction, i intend to ask Sir to read this and make it a reality, if he wants it to be….

Not quite November

“Sir, it is nearly November. Last year, we did NO-orgasm-vember where i edged a lot but you did not allow me to orgasm for much of it. i think if it had not been my big 5-0 birthday, you wouldn’t have allowed me to orgasm at all, but… you were kind. For my birthday.”

“This year though, while of course, it is still my birthday month, it isn’t a big birthday this year the way it was last year So i think you should consider not letting me orgasm this entire month,” is what i said to my Sir.

He looked at me somewhat confused and said, “Why? Would should I not enjoy giving you orgasms whenever I want to? I like seeing you get pleasure at my hand (or tongue or cock).”

My response was, “Yes Sir, i do enjoy getting orgasms from you at the times you allow it. But i also feel selfish. i feel like i have gotten far more pleasure and orgasms than you. And my submission should be about pleasing you, rather not about pleasing me!”

He laughed and said, “well I simply can’t have multiple orgasms the way you do. So of course you get more than I do!”

i smiled and said, “And that is truly wonderful for me Sir, but it does not feel fair. While 11- months of the year, i am content to please you by having more orgasms whenever you want me to, it seems fair that ONE month i abstain. That being denied orgasms for 30-days, i would focus on your pleasure and your happiness and your orgasms, and not my own, if that’s what you’d like too.”

“Do you even think you can hold out that long?” he said with complete skepticism in his tone.

“Well Sir, you have the full ability to make that happen. At whatever point you think i may cheat and be tempted to masturbate, you can put me in my chastity belt and hold the key until whatever point you think it appropriate to allow me out or to orgasm.”

i continued, “But Sir, i won’t lie, i am a little concerned my sexual arousal may be completely lost with full abstinence for 30-days too. i may lose all interest in sexual activities. i may become content to NOT get pleasure at all.”

Sir gave a sly smile and said, “That’s a problem that’s easily fixed.”

That was all he said. No elaboration whatsoever.

i paused before i spoke again, but when it became obvious Sir did not intend to provide any further commentary, i said, “my other concern would be being locked up for too many consecutive days may compromise my feminine hygiene, which could possibly lead to a yeast infection.”

And he once again said, “That’s easily fixed also.”

i wondered what he was thinking but wasn’t sure what to say. i finally just bucked up my courage and asked, “Sir, can you think out loud so i can get a feel for what you are thinking.”

He gave yet another sly smile and said, “you can ask. But I’m not going to say, at least not yet. It’s not Nov 1. But on that day, you’ll know more.”

November 1

i had become pretty unaware of what day it was. Even when it did occur to me that November had officially started, i didn’t even know if Sir was intending to enact any version of my previous suggestions as he had made NO reference or discussion about it.

The day started innocent enough and in the exact same way as always. i was up and out the door to work. Sir was working from home, also same as always.

When i came home from work, we had a same-as-always dinner and evening too. Then we went to retire in our bed.

When i climbed into bed, i was naked, as always. i snuggled up close to my Sir and put my hands down under the covers. i reached and found his cock and said, “this feels amazing Sir. Can i suck you hard?”

He smiled and said, “Sureeeeee.” No smart man tells his wife no when she offers him a blow job, and my Sir is definitely a smart man!

And he threw back the covers and i went down on him. i started slowly, but as his cock grew hard in my mouth i began to move faster too.

i heard him moan in pleasure, which made me happy to hear. He grabbed my head on both sides and started to force my head up and down faster. He was making my mouth fuck his cock. His cock got very hard as i sucked him off faster and harder with every thrust.

That’s when he pulled my mouth off of him and said, “move up and plant my cock deep inside my Pussy.”

“Yes Sir!” No good submissive woman denies an opportunity to fuck her Dominant husband!

i was so wet already without even having been touched at all. i moved myself up and positioned his cock to be able to slide down on top of his rock hard pole. My pussy was suddenly very full as i slid all the way down in one smooth move. i let myself sit for just a second with his cock deep inside me just to feel him fully.

That’s when i looked into his eyes, and he grabbed my hips and he said, “ride my cock now slut.”

And that was all the motivation i needed! i started to move up and down. i wasn’t yet going very fast, but building into it. i felt Sir’s hands press onto each of my hips, encouraging me to go up and down that much more. He very sternly said, “fuck my cock like you mean it. Convince me of how much this means to you slut. Or else I’ll take it away and give it as quickly as i gave it to you. Now!”

And i started riding him like my life depended upon it! i needed to fuck my Sir with everything in me! i needed this for him AND for me. i was taking him hard as i rose up and slid back down on his cock, making my tits bob up and down just as hard! It caused my tits to hurt, so much so i reached up to hold them in place. I felt Sir’s hands slap against the backs of mine and he said, “let go of my tits. I want to see them move and hear them slap against your chest.” So i let go and allowed my Sir’s pleasure to be more than my pain.

It was but another minute when Sir decided we were changing positions altogether. He flipped us over in one smooth move where i was laying on my back. He smiled and said, “the best place for any good woman is on her back with her legs spread wide, and you are no exception! Do NOT cum until I do!”

He didn’t expect an audible answer and I didn’t provide one. Instead it was in my head that i clearly heard myself utter, “Yes Sir” without hesitation. i live for these moments and i refuse to disappoint my Sir!

And he started fucking me with just one intent in mind. He wasn’t making love to me, but fucking me with all he had. He was using my cunt for his needs, and i was proud to be the one he took what he needed from. Serving him this way gives me incredible joy!

This time i heard myself begging him out loud saying, “Sir, give me your cum. Dump it deep inside me so i can feel it drip all night long!”

He was so intent on his task of getting off, he couldn’t speak. i then felt my own orgasm rising and felt panic rising in me. i would not, could not disobey but my body was starting to have a mind of its own too. With desperation i squeaked out, “Sir. Please hurry. i am about to orgasm!”

He surprised me by coming to a complete stop nearly immediately. He pulled out and with annoyance and a twinge of anger he spat out the words, “the fuck you are! This is No-orgasm-vember. And that means this is MY month. You get NO orgasms and I get them all for both of us!”

i was feeling like a disappointment and had sadness wash over me as a result. i was letting my Sir down. I was failing to be a good submissive slut wife for him.

He continued, “open your mouth wide. I don’t need your cunt if it’s not going to obey. Your mouth will do just fine. I’ll go back to fucking it.”

A few minutes later, he orgasmed big! i heard him moan, his cock got very stiff and still, and i felt his hot cum shoot to the back of my throat.

As his cum hit my throat, i instinctively pulled back just a bit. He must’ve felt it as he grabbed the back of my head and held me still with his cock deep inside. He said, “swallow all I give you! Don’t you let a drop go to waste!” And i swallowed as fast as i could to not let him down any further and to not choke too!

When he was done, he asked me how i felt and whether i had orgasmed. i spoke honestly and said, “i feel disappointed in myself that my pussy tried to disobey you Sir, but no Sir, i did not have any orgasms.”

He said, “oh my love, do not feel you have disappointed me. You are the best wife I could ever want or need or hope for! It’s good that I turn you on so much that you are wet and dripping for me. And make no mistake, your desire to orgasm is just a sign of your love manifesting deep inside you. AND you did good by telling me too.” His hand had moved up to cup the side of my cheek as he had said these things. That was when he leaned in and kissed me deeply too, making all my negative emotions wash away, leaving me with deep and complete joy.

When he pulled back he continued speaking, “it was very good of you to not orgasm. That’s how it should be! How close did you get?”

i shrugged and said, “i got close but not too close i suppose.”

That’s when Sir got up from the bed to go to the bathroom. i thought he was going to clean himself, but he returned almost immediately. He tossed my favorite vibrating dildo at me and said, “Here. Edge. Now. Do NOT orgasm! But get close. And stop.”

“Yes Sir.”

And i did so in a matter of a couple of short minutes. It didn’t take long and i was at the edge of orgasm! i pulled the dildo out of my pussy and said, “i nearly went over the edge and orgasmed with that one Sir.”

He said, “Good. Do it again.”

“But Sir.. i will….”

He cut me off saying, “you WILL do as you are told. I said do it again. Edge but do NOT orgasm. Get even closer to the edge this time.”

So i did. i used the vibrator for a minute and was about to orgasm again, so i knew i had to stop immediately. i pulled the vibrator from my needy cunt, leaving it empty and feeling so desperate to orgasm.

With that, Sir said, “Do it again.”

“A third time Sir? i surely will….”

He cut me off again saying, “you surely will get punished if you continue to argue with me. Now get busy woman!”

So i did. i cringed as i knew it was going to be only a few seconds before i would be at the very edge again. Not to mention, i was getting fearful that i would orgasm accidentally. As i finished, ever so quickly, i pulled the dildo from my pussy and rolled over onto my side, squeezing my legs together to force the orgasm to go away and not allow it to escape!

That’s when Sir said, “go put the chastity belt on. You’ll wear it to sleep now.”

So i did. i put it on. Without a single utterance of discord.

When i climbed back in bed, Sir smiled at me. He said, “wife, you are the best. I am so grateful you want to please me the way you do. I have decided that your suggestion of abstinence for you for NO-orgasm-vember is an amazing one. Every night, I will use whatever hole I want to get off. And every night, when I am done, you’ll edge yourself three more times. Then you’ll sleep in your belt.”

He continued, “this should be a valid solution to your two problems… 1) you will be edged and get near orgasm, wanting it so badly, but getting no release. This will keep your sex drive high and you’ll find it hard to lose interest. And 2) you’ll sleep in your belt. In the morning, you can take it off but I do expect you to practice self control and to deny yourself any and all orgasms. The reason you should wear it to sleep is that so soon after edging, you may be tempted to finish yourself off after I go to sleep but we won’t allow that this month at all.”

He finished with, “THIS is going to be an amazing month my love. I may allow you to orgasm on your birthday, but that’s 25-days away, and I haven’t decided on that yet either. Do not bug or for that matter even ask me about getting to orgasm on your birthday, as I’ll probably deny you an orgasm even then, to serve as punishment for annoying me about it.”

He finished with, “All I know for sure is this month is about me, and not about you.”

i leaned in and i kissed him. As i pulled back, i thanked him for allowing himself to feel a month full of pleasure while using me to please him, which gives me pleasure also. All the while, loving me so throughly too.

This is indeed going to be an awesome month… i hope. i think. i may be pretty sexually frustrated by the end, but i will definitely not lose interest in my Sir or sex!

The end. Now to share this with Sir and see if he wants to use any, all, some, or none of it this month. Ultimately the decision is, as always, his alone to make. Happy November!

Hugs,

Marie

283 – “Your shoes aren’t a symbol”

^^^^^ THAT was my conversation earlier tonight with my Sir. About my Chastity belt. And me wanting to have the key to take it off.

i won’t lie, i basically threw a temper tantrum today. i wanted the belt off. i lost. The belt is still on.

Sir won.

Officially he should always win. Unofficially it doesn’t always happen. Today it did happen.

Yes, today…. SIR WON! i know i already said that, but it was worth repeating.

i even looked for the key in all the areas i thought it would be. i really wasn’t sure as i looked if:

1) i was going to be able to find it,

2) if i did find it, would i actually use it,

3) if i wouldn’t use it, why was i looking.

i stopped looking. i don’t think i do want to find it. And it was not in any of those usual or expected places anyway.

Sir hid it well. He won there too.

He’s right in that the belt isn’t uncomfortable really, just getting (more and more) annoying. The way keeping my shoes on when i get home is annoying. But he is right, my shoes are not a symbol. The chastity belt is.

The chastity belt represents a literal and real power exchange. A total power exchange that i have willing done without regret. i would do it again too.

i completely trust my Sir and i give him my all. Until i want the belt off. Until i want to take back the control but to which he does not allow.

i am glad he has not succumbed to my wishes.

In the end, i do NOT want to be in charge and i am glad Sir is. Just sometimes, i want to win. Like today when i have wanted the belt off.

He’s home tomorrow at about this time (7p) but now (based on his comments above), i am unsure if the belt will even come off then.

This is good for me in the end. This total power exchange reminds me of how small i am and how small i should remain.

i write all this while sitting on the couch, in my chastity belt. i have given up asking for it to come off and will submit the way i should. Hopefully anyway! And if i don’t, i suspect i will still be in my belt but then ALSO have a red ass to go with it!

(And did you see the part about my fiction story? i am working on another one. Maybe tonight yet … or tomorrow. Will see.)

Hugs,

Marie

282 – Back in Belt; Control is not mine

David went to Florida for work today through Wednesday night for work. Again, he’s traveling. He has had to travel a lot lately.

His travel goes in streaks and this is one of them. i hate it, but of course, i can’t change it. i think he’s okay with it though. He rather likes traveling overall, which works well for someone who has to do it a lot like he has had to lately.

He left at 5am this morning, on Monday and he returns at 8pm on Wednesday night. A total of nearly 60-hours.

And this time, like many of the previous times David is out of town, i am back in my chastity belt.

This time, unlike some of the other previous times, i do NOT have the key.

i have no idea where it is, other than, “in our house,” which isn’t enough to be able to find it.

i don’t have the key because i needed to have some control taken away. In short, i had a privilege taken away.

As of late, we haven’t totally been on-point. We haven’t been totally off-point either. But, like anything not totally cared for properly, it starts to deteriorate. David hasn’t done maintenance spankings in awhile now, and i think he should have but i haven’t told him that. Instead, i have slowly and unintentionally become a bossy-little-brat-wife.

That led up to David getting so mad on Saturday he yelled at me. i probably deserved (some) of it, but some of it, i did not. When he yelled at me, i got incredibly angry. But. i didn’t say a word. Not-A-Single-Word!

In the past, when he’d get mad and yell, i would yell back. But now, i do not. While i could speak my concerns, “speak” is the key word. And because i was ANGRY i knew there was no way i would speak!

At the end of his yelling, he told me if i had a lot more to say (my mouth was what got me in trouble in the first place!) about the topic, i could walk home. You have NO idea just how close i was to doing it! Talking AND walking.

In the past, i would have challenged his words and called his bluff. i would have demanded to get out of the car and started walking. The dumb thing is that would only hurt myself and does nothing for or to him. And in the D/s world i live in now, Sir would actually let me out and i would be walking. Maybe not the entire way, but enough to wish i hadn’t been so stupid too. Because now, David (almost always) says what he means and means what he says.

So i sat in the vehicle in silence. Complete silence.

After about 10’ish minutes he asked me, “are you good?”

i wasn’t entirely sure i was, but i said i was. After i said that and thought about it more, i started to tell him i was NOT ok. But what was i going to say after that, that would make any difference whatsoever. i asked myself, “What can be said that would make a positive difference? What can i say that would end well?”

i couldn’t think of a single thing.

i also couldn’t think of a logical answer to the questions, “if you weren’t ok, then WHY did you say you were? Did you lie to me??”

So i continued to be silent.

After a bit of more silence, i really did become “ok.” And we began the trek to both being back to normal. Not long thereafter, we were indeed ok.

Yesterday (Sunday) when i was talking with David, i asked him why he got so mad and why he yelled at me. i also asked him why he allowed it to get that bad. His answer was simple, “laziness.”

Now today he went out of town and said he was hiding the key because control was something i had a little too much of lately and we needed to get him (not me) back into the proper position of control he so rightfully deserves.

i was a-ok with that. The belt went on, the lock snapped shut, and the key laid in his hand and then it went away.

Shortly thereafter Sir leaned in, kissed me goodbye, and he left.

It took all of an hour and i was ready to be out. Not because i needed it, but because i wanted it.

i wanted the control back. But i shouldn’t have it and it’s good that i don’t. This is good for both of us.

60-total-hours and counting.

Hugs,

Marie