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Tag: husband in control

139 – Ass Access

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir, Submission. No Comments on 139 – Ass Access

*** i wrote this on Sunday, now 5-days ago, and i wasn’t sure if i liked it or not. i’m still unsure if i like it, but i am having “writer’s block” and decided to post this anyway. Hopefully tomorrow i’ll have inspiration to write something else too.

**** so if you have some inspiration, things you want to inspire me about, things you want to know and could give me good stuff to write about … email or post a comment. i’ll gladly accept all your ideas l. 🙂

As a submissive, it is a bit confusing to me why some deny their ass to their dominant. i think you should submit FULLY.

i understand it is a hard limit and a BIG-ASS-NO! (Yes, pun intended!) for many people. But i don’t understand why.

Allowing my husband access to my body anytime and anywhere …. and any part of it…. seems to me as just part of the job title. Aside from health/medical reasons, i don’t see any reason why a submissive should deny their dominant that pleasure.

i simply don’t want to be sending a message that says, “you are in charge here and here… but NOT here.” i agreed to be his submissive in Full. All the time. So why would one particular hole be off limits?

i think many women are against it for a couple of reasons…..

1) Fear….of pain. Yes, it does take a bit of going slow in the beginning to get a big cock in that hole. The sphincter muscle is tight and doesn’t want to stretch. With lube and going slowly though, you can press past it, where it relaxes enough to allow his cock inside. And once it’s inside, then a few times moving slowly in and out, and the pain all evaporates and is replaced with pure pleasure!

2) Humility. The best position to have anal sex, in my opinion, is with her on all fours like a dog. And he enters her from behind, mounting her, like a dog. Hence “doggie style.” So getting on the bed, on your knees, opening your legs, and letting someone go there can be humiliating. But it can also be humbling, as well as humiliating. i happen think “humble” is what every submissive should be though anyway. And with having to bend over every week for spankings, this isn’t a new position for me, so i just don’t have this particular problem. And every good submissive should draw on their humility side to summon the courage to assume this position.

3) Filth. Ok, so the ass does have a lot of unclean messy poo that can be a turn off. And it does take an “adult mentality” to deal with this side of things. i have learned that giving myself an enema a few hours before we have anal sex, it cleans everything out pretty good overall. Yes, this is also a bit gross. And again, an adult mentality about it has to be assumed. Enemas aren’t painful, very effective, and not hard to administer. It takes about 2-3 minutes to put it in, and takes another 2-3 minutes to get it all out (it just comes out!). And of course, if you aren’t willing or able to plan an enema well, anal hole sex or play can get messy and possibly a lot of clean up required afterward too. Yes, i am absolutely talking about “gross stuff.” But my point is, this shouldn’t be THE reason to withhold your ass from your dominant as this is really very manageable too!

4) Inexperience. Causes nervousness. Causes us to say no. But don’t be afraid to try new things. Ever. You can miss out on some amazing things just for fear of saying “yes.” And plugs can be a great way to train for it. Plugs come in different sizes and shapes and styles and prices. Try wearing one for a bit (even 5-minutes!) to get used to the feeling of having your ass filled.

And speaking of plugs…. this entire post has been inspired by the fact i have one in my ass right now. Earlier today Sir said, “I want to fill your ass.”

Again, as a submissive, i allow David access to ALL my holes whenever he wants. So even though it was 2:00 pm on a Sunday and our son was upstairs, i said, “Yes Sir. Of course Sir.”

And i went to the bedroom and undressed.

i started to climb on the bed and get on all fours, like a dog and preparing myself (mentally) to have him between my legs. That’s when he said, “go get out the black plug and lube it up.”

So i did. And i handed it to him.

And that’s when i climbed on the bed on all fours. He didn’t have to tell me to do this as it was understood.

i put my head down and my ass up. Sir said, “hold your cheeks open.” This causes me to basically lay on my shoulders and face in the bed. So yes, this is humiliating. But i chose to say “humble” instead. i know that i am making Sir happy by submitting and bending to his will.

That’s when i felt the tip of the plug at my anal hole opening. Sir started to push it in. Because it has been awhile since we’ve done anything anal, i knew this was going to hurt to push past the sphincter muscle. But i’ve been here before so i know what to expect. The best way to allow the plug entry is to push down from the inside, to use the muscles that you’d use to have a bowel movement, causes the muscle to open up. So i did that.

David went reasonably slow, by pushing in a bit and pulling it out, and repeating the process with it going in just a bit further each time.

The last push was absolutely one that took my breath away and i cringed. But it was in! It was fully seated in my ass.

He stood me up, kissed me, and said, “don’t forget… what I put in, only I take out! And I will let you know when it is to come out.”

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

It was then that i asked him, “is it the act of putting it in or knowing my ass is filled that makes you feel good?”

He responded, “Both!”

i also asked him, “and how does this exactly make you feel?”

He said, “Powerful.” And he leaned in and kissed me again.

i won’t deny… when the plug comes out, i’m hoping something “else” goes in! (Wink wink!) Time will tell.

It makes me happy to be submissive… fully… my ass included. And i wonder if i am alone or if you also allow your dominant access to ALL your holes also?!?

Hugs,

Marie

134 – Permission or Forgiveness?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 134 – Permission or Forgiveness?

Sometimes asking permission is better than asking forgiveness. And sometimes not. But most of the time, especially in my marriage, i think it is.

The phrase “it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission,” has been used to justify some less than altruistic purposes over the years. But that was never the intention when Admiral Grace Hopper popularized the phrase in 1982. What she meant was that (sometimes) it is better to act decisively and apologize for it later, than to seek approval to act and risk delay, objections, etc. and if you read the quote (exactly) as it is above, you can easily see that she’s saying, “if it’s a GOOD idea….(THEN move forward).”

When Navy officer Hopper was quoted with these words, she was talking specifically about her work on computers during WWII. At the time, 99% of Americans (maybe all people worldwide) had never seen a computer, and likely most didn’t know what it would be used for even if they had seen one.

Because she knew she was in the military (government), probably the biggest red tape society that ever existed, asking permission may have been tantamount to nothing more than an exercise in learning patience and the zen practices of relaxation. For all the waiting…… AND waiting…she’d have to do if she asked permission for everything she wanted to do. So she decided to go for it and ask forgiveness later.

In my normal/daily/ boring life, and especially at work, i agree with Hopper. i think that taking calculated risks that are ultimately designed for the better, is a good thing! Much of the time, this is successful and other people appreciate the initiative taken by those that just went for it. And in those few times where it is not successful, you ask forgiveness and hope the non-success wasn’t too detrimental in the end and that the forgiveness is granted!

But in my marriage, it is FAR better to ask permission than forgiveness. Permission is zen and peaceful, whereas forgiveness is loud and painful (when the paddle collides with my rear end)!

So i recently asked for a spanking when i really kinda thought i didn’t need to or shouldn’t have to have one. While i thought my anger was justified, i knew i wasn’t full of submissive or respectful thoughts about and towards my husband. It was the anger and stress that i was feeling that caused me to think i needed to be spanked. If nothing else, i figures that the spanking would promote stress relief. So i asked permission to receive a spanking.

But that spanking did NOT happen, as i had expected!

David decided i did not need it. At all. While i wasn’t in a submissive mindset at the time, i handled the situation wayyyyyy better than i might would have in the past (Aka: pre-DD). For that alone, i was indeed acting submissive!

He respected that i asked for (permission) a spanking and admitted to my less-than-submissive thoughts too.

So by ASKING for a spanking…. and admitting my fault, he told me a spanking was simply not necessary.

He also said that if i had not admitted my stress or non-submissive mindset, or if i had actually yelled at him… i assuredly would have had a hard time sitting down after that.

So by asking permission and not just going for it to have to ask for forgiveness, my actions were positively rewarded!

He also explained that as he was talking to me about the problem at hand…….. the one he wanted me to call about…… the more annoyed he became at the Company. So that’s when he decided i would likely have “been nice” to them if i had talked to them directly so he decided to call himself and try to get it done directly.

He apologized for having wasted my time and for not telling me he decided to call himself. And all in all…. he recognized he was not in the right.

i was validated! And avoided punishment and got an apology. All because i held my temper and my tongue and was willing to submit to a spanking … if for no other reason than stress relief!

So see……submissiveness really works!

Of course, then the next day was a Friday so there’s the maintenance session(s) anyway! But still. i avoided TWO spankings for the week at least!

i think i’ll talk more about maintenance again soon. It’s just so hard to explain why i actually like it, and why it too is a good thing. But i’ll give it another try.

Hugs,

Marie

133 – How VERY normal i am

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 133 – How VERY normal i am

i know the things i blog about are very much NOT the norm for most people. But that’s what makes it very crazy and very fun to read… and well…. to live and write about to.

But i quite literally tell you about the only very crazy part of my life. i don’t tell you the very boring parts. Why? Because they are quite simply ….very boring.

i live in a very suburban neighborhood, a very average suburban house, and work at a very normal day job.

i wear (mostly) very conservative clothing to work because i do live and work in Texas, a very (overall) conservative views state. And while people say my career is very boring, i like my job very much. i would be very sad if my job were to end.

In fact, aside from our marriage dynamic, i am a very boring, very average, very normal everyday person.

i am SO very average, that i have said for many years i must be a chameleon. i look like every other common person on the planet!

While it hasn’t happened lately, frequently over the years when i meet new people, they say things like, “I’ve met you before.” And they proceed to rack their brain for any commonality that could lead them to the ephiphany moment of where we met before. This happens while i sit thinking, “i don’t know you and …. oh no…. here we go again….. how do i politely tell them that no, we do NOT know each other??”

Once was i was in a grocery store, a complete stranger was so very sure she knew me and said hello. Then she realized i was not the person she thought i was, but was still so very sure she had met me somewhere. When i politely said i really don’t think we have met, she was insistent and became determined to figure it out. She asked me, “do you go xyz church?” (No) …. “Did you go to xyz High school? (No)

i kindly excused myself and went to the next aisle. When she turned the corner too (we were coming from opposite ends toward each other), she then asked if i had a child in xyz sporting event. (No).

And this continued in the next aisle too! Was i related to so-and-so? (No). That’s when i got smart and skipped two aisles and managed to avoid her after that!

i say all this because i think people think i am some very strange person to WANT all this DD in my life. i also wonder if you are in a similar D/s relationship and may sometimes think, “my Dom isn’t as good/ strict/good as hers” or even, “I’m not as good a sub as she is.”

Well, i think you’d be surprised to know, and i dare say, if you saw me on the street, i would be your very average girl/mom walking by. i am so very ordinary in fact, that you may not even take notice otherwise!

All that really means is that i keep my very crazy shenanigans on the very down low.

However, that’s not really very hard to do since all my very crazy activities revolves solely in my marriage too. It doesn’t spill into my very ordinary life at all.

Additionally, while i am talking about how very average i am, i want to say – so are you. And that’s a good thing! That means – we are very much alike.

So don’t compare what you read about my Sir/Dom to yours or compare your submissiveness (or your relationship altogether) to mine. Why? Because first, we are all different. But second, it’s really very hard to keep this D/s dynamic going on a 24/7 basis. And third, remember you are reading about the “newsworthy” stuff. That means we all very much have very normal lives. i just chose to tell you about the very crazy moments in my life. But the rest of it….. well…. it’s very boring!

So don’t read stuff on the Internet or in a book and think, “they have it altogether, all figured out, and ‘perfect’. I sure wish my life was that way.” Because no one’s life is that way. You are simply reading about the stuff they chose to tell you….. which in most cases is, “newsworthy.”

i love how very average and very normal and very chameleon-like i (and you!) am. And i hope you like you too!

[Did you notice all the times i wrote “very”? i recently had a conversation where a friend told me she hates that word and wishes it could be struck from the English language. It also reminded me of an English teacher in HS who said the same thing also. Here are some synonyms for very: extremely, precise, actual, immensely, tremendously, exceedingly, powerfully, extra. And i could go on. But i won’t. i’ll just tell you….. i really had a very, VERY, V-E-R-Y good time writing that word in today’s VERY boring, normal post about life! It made it VERY exciting and newsworthy!]

Hugs!

Marie

132 – Submission… put to the test

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 132 – Submission… put to the test

i have said before that when i am stressed at work, i am NOT the best submissive at all. i tend to be short-tempered, have no time (or tolerance) for small talk, and want to get answers/solutions – not problems!

Today was one of those days.

Sir called me at work and asked me to do something. i barely had time to talk on the phone and he’s like, “So do you know anything about this situation….. and can you call and find out? I’d call, but the account is in your name and I’m not sure they will talk to me.”

What I heard was, “blah, blah, blah…. I’m taking up your time …. you need to call.…. ok, so I’m going to talk some more and take up even more of your time even though I know you don’t have it, if for no other reason than …. I can.”

And what i said was, “Yes, great. i’ll call right now.”

Well….. so i knew i needed to probably not speak to him “that” short, and even throw in a “Sir” word here or there, but it was better than saying what i really wanted to too. i just wanted off the phone and to make this call right away to get it off my to-do list. So when we hung up, i called. Immediately.

But that’s when i needed a 2-way authentication code to “verify i am who i say i am,” but it was one that was sent to his phone. When i texted him to get the code from him, he didn’t answer or give me the code before it timed out. So then i was even more annoyed!

i texted saying, “please tell me when i can send the get the code resent to you that you’ll be able to respond timely.”

(Ok, so i already told you i am NOT submissive and more of a ‘cut to the chase and let’s get this done’ person when i get stressed….. but at least i did say “please”. Ha!)

That’s when he texted back, “I’m on the phone with them right now.”

And all I could think was, “WTF!?! You wasted my time talking about this between you/i and NOW even more wasted time as i try to get this done!!! And NOW you just went and did it anyway!?! And didn’t bother to tell me either?!?”

That’s when i was at least smart enough to put my phone down and not text or talk to him. And i went back to my original to-do list that had me stressed out in the first place.

Instead, i vented to a friend all about this. She is also in a similar D/s with DD marriage. So i knew she’d understand! She is very wise and i respect her words and perspective fully.

As always, her perspective did indeed help me! She said, “Now… let’s brain storm how you can handle things so that when you get home you avoid a red ass.”

(Even she knew i was in hot water for the way i was speaking to Sir….. which if i didn’t calm down this to respond better, that my rear end would be on the losing end if i continued on this path!)

She suggested i request to be spanked to relieve the stress.

i told her i didn’t want to do that.

WHY would i want to request a spanking politely if i could simply spew my anger, and earn one legitimately?!?

That’s when she asked, “What aspect of the spanking do you not want? David’s dominance, the pain, admitting to both D & yourself that you reacted poorly to the situation, the relief that’ll come after? Something I’m missing???”

And i responded to her by saying, “I want the relief after …. but I don’t want any of that first part. No, you aren’t missing anything. You know me too damn well!”

But the part i didn’t want to admit to her, and possibly even to myself, was THE aspect i didn’t like the most was the “admitting to both D & yourself that you reacted poorly to the situation”. Because while i did do that (react poorly), i felt like he was wrong in how he acted. He knew i was stressed, facing deadlines, and had zero time. And then he didn’t bother to even tell me he was just going to take care of it anyway!

But……..

Let’s face it, we all know “two wrongs don’t make a right” and i’ve already told you that it just doesn’t matter! Submit anyway!

And she said, “I just want my beautiful friend to feel better. But you probably know what you need to do too.”

So before i changed my mind, i texted David, “i need to be spanked. Soon.”

And he wrote back, “I agree.”

Then he asked, “I know why I think you do, but why do you think you do?”

Great. Trick question. i told him the truth. How he made me made and my thoughts. But ultimately how my thoughts were far from submissive.

He wrote, “I could tell you were mad, but I didn’t know why.”

So he agreed.

i already felt relief come over me. So could we just skip the spanking-pain part ?!?!

The rest of the day was way more productive than beforehand. When i got home, we didn’t talk about this. i know it will happen in the morning. Our son doesn’t know about the spanking and we like to keep it that way. So i have no doubt when he’s off to school, i will he told to Assume The Position. And i gladly will….. although again, can we just skip this part now??

While the pain will suck, the ultimate relief will be good. And i do want David’s dominance, but i don’t want the humiliation of having to ask for it or say it out loud either.

What i know is my wise friend thinks a lot like me, so she’s easy to talk to and helps me do things i don’t want to do, but i know i need to do. And she saved me today from yelling at my husband, causing an even bigger problem.

(See D/s with DD works!)

But do i ultimately still think he’s wrong? Would i have possibly avoided a spanking if i had not asked for it? Would i have gotten (stress) relief some other way?

i don’t know the answers to those questions and i never will…. but i suspect the answer is “yes.”

But does it matter? i asked to submit from the start of our D/s dynamic, i still (really) want it, and …. it works. Really, it does! Even when i’m mad, he’s wrong, and i don’t want to submit.

Hugs,

Marie

129 – BJ

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. 1 Comment on 129 – BJ

This morning our son left for school and i went to shower. When i was out, and before dressing, i asked David, “should i assume the position now?”

(i mean it IS Friday…. and that is Maintenance day!)

Instead of a “yes,” what i heard surprised me. He said, “no, get dressed and come see me before you leave (for work).”

i was pretty surprised we were skipping maintenance, but it worked for me! Although i wasn’t sure what the “come see me” part was about either…. but whatever. No big deal.

Then i finished preparing for work – i dressed, hair/make up, jewelry and i went to see him….

He said, “get on your knees. You’re going to suck my cock now.”

He has never been that bold or direct really, especially about a BJ. (He uses a lot of passive-aggressive sentences which i really don’t like at all!)

So i was a bit surprised and my face must’ve shown it as he said, “don’t look at me like that. Just do it”. And he dropped his shorts and i dropped to my knees.

As i gave him a BJ, he made comments like “it would’ve been nice to make your ass a bright red today.”

And “I could’ve fucked your ass if I didn’t think you’d try to orgasm.”

And “this is about me. I made you put clothes on for a reason. You don’t get yours until tonight!”

(i think my ass was on his mind…. no complaints from me!)

Hearing him say those things made me so wet! And he even said, “I bet you are dripping right now. Like I said, there’s a reason I had you fully clothed to do this. You would’ve wanted to touch yourself and you are just needing to wait a bit longer.”

Well……. i was indeed SO super wet, that i was dripping! When i was done, there was a huge wet spot on the outside of my jeans that i had to change my pants! It was so visible from the outside it just wasn’t acceptable to go out of the house that way.

When he saw it, Sir asked me, “you didn’t cum, did you???”

And i said, “No Sir. Just ready for tonight. And us being together with BJ.”

He said, “yeah, I get TWO BJ’s today…. from you now and them later.” (Oh how funny was that little pun!)

So i need to hang on for a few more hours to get my own BJ also!

Have a great day….. i know i will!!

Hugs,

Marie