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Tag: deep thoughts

41 – DD is like finding the right pair of jeans

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 41 – DD is like finding the right pair of jeans

Domestic Discipline is as easy as finding the right pair of jeans that fit.  (that was humor).

It used to be that jeans were basic – Wrangler or Levi, they were blue, and fit was a just a matter of length and waist .  But NOW… they come in every style, shape, color, and fit.

That’s Domestic Discipline.  DD.

If you are considering it, or new to it, i’m here to tell you that every DD relationship is different.  And it takes time to get the right fit.  Our relationship is no different. It also takes constant revisions. It is fluid. Changing.

i expected to have a set of rules —  follow them = good, don’t follow = spanking. And while that’s the basic premise, it isn’t really the way it works in real life. Just like jeans aren’t “just blue”, life isn’t just “black and white”…. DD isn’t “Just good and bad and spankings resulting from the bad” either.

When it comes to jeans, you know when you have a good pair and you stick with it until they are completely worn out. And then you hope you find another pair exactly like it, but alas, they are not for sale anymore. So you have to try to find something similar but hopefully better. And the hunt is on.

i think marriage is a lot like that from the start. You hunt and search for the right person, and then you hunt and search for the right way to make it work.

But just like jeans, it ‘wears out’ or ‘wears off’. What i didn’t realize was that living DD 24/7 is hard. It’s easy to start. And maybe even on a date night or a weekend it is easy too. But when it comes to a full-marriage implementation, it gets hard. It takes complete dedication and discipline -from BOTH of you – to not ‘just relax’ and ‘take a break’ from it.

For example, i’ve been gone from here the last 2 weeks due to having SUPER hard days at work. i won’t go into the details, but i wanted to crawl in bed and NOT go back. At all. Ever. But that’s not realistic (or financially practical). There was a lot of change going on at work, nothing i was in control of, and every day was different in a way i wasn’t prepared for. That left me completely drained when i’d get home.

And cranky.

And Sir didn’t like that. Rightfully so.

But instead of spanking me to get me back on track, he chose to give me space. To let me work it out. i think he did this because he knew the problem wasn’t anything to do with him/ us/ our family, he knew i was trying to be good at home (but was failing). But frankly, being allowed to do what i wanted …… wasn’t what i wanted….. or what i needed. i’m just saying.

But telling him “Spank me” was making me cranky too. i wasn’t sure i having my ass blistered was going to help. So i let it go. But then last weekend, i said, “Something has to give. i have to be reassured you don’t just let me do my own thing anytime i want”. So he spanked me. And it H-U-R-T. My ass hasn’t felt a really bad one for awhile and it bruised. The bruising caused a ‘stinging’ feeling when i sat for the entire rest of the day.

He said we would resume maintenance spankings, which had also faded away (like the blue in your jeans). When i asked what the schedule would be, he said no. He wouldn’t tell me. When i asked why i couldn’t know, he said, “Just like the grass has a maintenance schedule, it doesn’t have to be on the exact same day every week. You just need to know this will happen ‘as needed’ the same the grass gets cut ‘as needed’.”

And just like that …..my jeans are fitting better….. thanks to DD ……

39 – Domestic Discipline- in life

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Marriage, Submission. No Comments on 39 – Domestic Discipline- in life

For all you sex and spanking fans, this will be boring.

For all you Domestic Discipline fans, this might be insightful.

i know i mostly talk all about how our lifestyle revolves around “sex” and sex- related stuff. But it really isn’t just about that. It’s how our lifestyle is.

But i have come to realize that if i were in charge, things would be much stricter than they are. i’m not sure if Sir is just being a “good southern gentleman” or if he’s “shy” to take control or if he just doesn’t want to take control or maybe he just doesn’t think like me.

i asked him about this today and he said, “I don’t think you know what you are asking for.” But i think i do! i’m asking him to lead our marriage, to be the lead of our house, and ultimately me. In exchange, i respect, obey, and submit. In ALL things… sex and otherwise. Seems simple enough to me.

So here’s two examples of what happened just today …. i will tell you what happened AND what would have happened, had our roles been reversed.

Real life Example 1 – what did happen:

We like to play golf. Tomorrow we are going to play together. As of today, i have been braless for exactly one whole week. (Because i got my bras taken away last week when i didn’t have it off at 5:22 pm after work). And i TOLD David “i can’t play golf without a bra. It will hurt too much”

His response was, “hmm”.

Real life example 1 – what would’ve happened if our roles were reversed:

His response would’ve gone like this…. “excuse me? You have a rule that states ‘no bra when not mon-fri, 8-5, and tomorrow is a Saturday! So you have another thing coming if you think you can TELL me you are wearing one tomorrow! So you screwed up twice now… one by wanting to break a rule and two by telling me. Had you asked, I’d probably have understood your request and conceded. But now, you will absolutely NOT be wearing a bra! And maybe next time, you’ll think of how to word that to me in a way that is a respectful tone and in the form of a question with a ‘please Sir’ at the end. Do you understand me?”

And of course, i would be saying, “yes Sir, i am sorry Sir. i was clearly out of line Sir.”

And he would then respond with, “I’m not at all surprised to hear you apologize, but you will now be punished for your indiscretions. Get naked and assume the position.” (And prepare to be spanked, and to be followed up with standing in the corner for an indeterminable amount of time, until I decide otherwise!)

Real life example 2 – what did happen:

At 4:50, i got a text, “when home?” (And just to let YOU know …. today is a Friday and i NEVER work late on Friday’s. i truly believe i “have” to leave on time on Friday’s. i don’t know why, but i definitely have this “thing” about leaving on time on Friday’s).

So my response was, “10-minutes”.

Sir said, “ok, great. Can you stop and buy mozzarella cheese?”

Now the next thing you should know is that David cooks, and i clean. He was home cooking dinner when he sent those texts.

Real life example 2 – what would’ve happened if i were in charge:

“Because you WILL be leaving in 10-minutes, you need to stop to buy mozzarella cheese on the way home. Don’t forget.”

Now i don’t know about you, but the first example seems a bit more extreme to me than the second. But in both cases, i feel that i was disrespectful to Sir and he allowed it. i didn’t mean to be disrespectful, but like anyone, if allowed to do things inappropriate…. we do.

But just like a child, they need to be trained in the ways you want them to be. And if you allow them to treat you with dishonor, disrespect, and no submission at all…. well…. they won’t. And quite often, it becomes “who they are” and the way they do the things they do. And it becomes “normal.”

To a large degree, that’s how i am. We’ve been together for over 20-years (most of it married, but not all), and now, after finding DD only a year ago… my ways are dying hard. And David thinks i “don’t know what i’m really asking for”.

But i disagree with Sir. i think i know exactly what i am asking for and what i truly want. And i told him so too.

He responded with, “I’ll think about it. But you are not in control in the end!”

So we shall see.

Are you submissive? Have you asked for MORE? Did you regret it?

Hugs,

Marie

35 – Moment of truth

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If you read my last post, it ended with me headed to bed with a plug in the butt. While i’ve worn them before, many times for many hours, i haven’t done it overnight. And i wasn’t too sure i could do it.

And i was right. i went to lay down at 10:00. i read in my book (ebook.. does anyone read paper books anymore at all??) for about 30-minutes, while being distracted the entire time and not able to really relax or get comfortable.

Wearing a butt plug while standing upright is a significantly different feeling than laying flat on a bed, on your back, on your side, or on your tummy. Ok, i take that back… not on the tummy. i’ve been in that position before… i mean anyone doing ass play has had “something” in that hole while on the tummy. (Wink, wink!)

But i digress. So… i put the tablet down and proceeded to try to ignore this butt plug and go to sleep. And the more i tried, the less it seemed to be working.

At midnight, i took melatonin. At 1, i took another. At 2, i gave up. i took it out.

Got in bed and within 10-minutes was sound asleep.

When i awoke, i dressed and went to work before David was even awake. (He slept in, i wasn’t avoiding him!). And about 30-minutes later, i got a text. It read, “well?”

Moment of truth.

At this point, i KNEW i could lie and say “oh yeah, it stayed in.” Or, i could have said, “no, it slipped out while i was sleeping.” Either way, he would have never known.

i mean really, he literally would N-E-V-E-R know ….. unless i tell him.

What would you have said??

Hugs,

Marie

30 – braless movement

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Have you noticed how many women are going braless? Or is it bra-less? i dunno. i suppose it doesn’t matter as that’s not the point here.

So what is my point? Apparently boobies and their nipples!

Because the braless movement is indeed a thing. In fact, from what i’ve read, it seems America is widely considered the most conservative nation in this regard. And many celebrities, around the globe, are embracing the no-bra way. According to Wikipedia, many celebs are “going braless all the time, in all weather and events.”

And since i live in Texas, we are (mostly) the most conservative of all of America. So that makes this whole thing seem very risqué or taboo or inappropriate for my “normal” world.

But let’s face it, my world isn’t exactly what most would call “normal” in the first place. Or maybe YOU would, and maybe it would just be most of my Texan-conservative-American friends who wouldn’t.

Either way, we’ve been vacationing in the north east (Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Toronto/Canada, and NY) and i’ve seen a lot of uncovered boobies. And for the most part, it is a hot look! (Never mind the fact the temp is as hot here as in Texas… so all you “how can you live in Texas with all that heat?” Honestly People… it’s the same in the north as it is at home…. H-O-T!). So when i say uncovered and freely hanging boobies abound and are “hot”, they may actually be hot and sweaty, but they are also just hot and sexy too.

And if i noticed, you know Sir noticed too!

So we started talking about it. While i knew this braless thing was a thing, he did not. After i told him about it, he asked, “And why haven’t you told me about this?” (My answer: i didn’t know you didn’t know). To which he replied, “well, you are joining the movement effective immediately!” To which i replied, “ok”.

So now those bras i packed are spending the rest of their days …. well, …. packed!

And i have to say, it is quite a thing for me to go out of the hotel room without one on. Oh, i’ve gone without one around the house before, but never out of the house. And knowing that the girls are a bit more on display for the whole world to see, but acting like this is “normal” is quite a strange thing for me.

And i am quite sure Sir likes what he sees too. In fact, i just may have to wear tighter fitting shirts on a very-frequent basis for Sir (and the whole world) to see more… and it will be “completely normal”.

What are your thoughts on this new-normal?

Hugs,

Marie

22 – WHY did i do it?

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Marriage, Punishment. No Comments on 22 – WHY did i do it?

David and i don’t have many official “rules” to our DD.  But, like any good marriage, we do have some.

WHY do we have rules? 

Well, EVERY marriage has rules… who’s responsible for laundry, dishes, cooking, kids, paying bills, etc.  Maybe they are literally spelled out but they are inherent. It keeps things flowing in the right direction.  Right?

So our DD relationship also has rules.  Some anyway.  Again, we don’t have many, but the ones we have are there for a reason.

What rule am i talking about?

i like to take warm, soaking baths.  When we started this DD relationship, David made it clear to me he wanted me to ASK PERMISSION to take a bath.  Every time.  And i have done that.  Until today.

i just ‘decided’ to take a bath.  Without asking.  Without permission.   And i didn’t really care.  i knew the rule.  i knew i was supposed to ask.  And i just didn’t care.

After math…

So after i got out of the tub, i decided to rat myself out.  i texted Sir (he wasn’t home when i did the deed.)… and the text simply read, “i took a bath.”

And a few minutes later i get a text back that read, “did you enjoy it?”

“Yep”

“But you didn’t ask.”

“I know.  That’s why I’m telling you now.”

“But you knew I’d say yes.”

“True”

What made me do it?

i’m not entirely sure, but after i’ve thought about it NOW,  i can tell you what i think….

  • i was feeling self-indulgent.  i wanted to do something ‘for me’.
  • i was completely certain he’d say yes to it (even he said so – see text above), so why even have this rule?  What does it matter?  Just do it and maybe this dumb rule can be eliminated altogether.  Maybe even he will see that it is dumb.
  • what if today is “the” day he says no?  i didn’t want to chance Sir saying NO, so i decided to do it.  (Better to ask forgiveness than permission?!?!)

Let’s break this down…..

  • i was feeling self-indulgent.  i wanted to do something ‘for me’. 

Well of course i was.  i was “entitled” to something for me.  Right?  WRONG!  i acted like a spoiled little brat.  And while i didn’t think of it this way when i did it, i certainly now think it probably was a bratty thing to do.  (i never thought i was a ‘brat’ until maybe today.)

  • i was completely certain he’d say yes to it (even he said so – see text above), so why even have this rule?  What does it matter?  Just do it and maybe this dumb rule can be eliminated altogether.  Maybe even he will see that it is dumb.

So frankly there’s a lot in this thought.

First:  “He’s going to say yes”.  Okay, so what?  That tells me merely that Sir is trustworthy and consistent.  That shouldn’t be taken for granted.  AND the decision to say yes/ no wasn’t mine to make, it was his.  i’ve previously given him that decision-making-power, and today, i chose to take it back.  It wasn’t mine to take back.

Second:  “Dumb rule”.  Okay, so what.. again?  Even if i think it’s dumb, there’s some reason Sir put it out there from the start, made me think i needed to rat myself out, and David called me out on it today.  Not every rule in life makes sense to me, but like some of those others, maybe they are there for “my own good”.  And maybe i just need to follow the rules and not question them so much.  And i’m certainly not in a position of authority to be able to change them.

So accept them, follow them, and no one gets hurt!

And speaking of “HURT”……

Well, David is still not home yet.  In fact, i don’t expect him home for several more hours.  But my butt is already raw.. not literally , yet anyway.  But i’m WELL aware that it will be.  Just sitting here typing i can already appreciate how sore my butt will be the next time i sit down to do anything.

WHY DID I DO THIS?

i’m not entirely sure, because if i’d thought through everything i just did here BEFORE i’d broken the rule, i’d not be contemplating the soon-to-be-inflicted pain.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie