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129 – BJ

This morning our son left for school and i went to shower. When i was out, and before dressing, i asked David, “should i assume the position now?”

(i mean it IS Friday…. and that is Maintenance day!)

Instead of a “yes,” what i heard surprised me. He said, “no, get dressed and come see me before you leave (for work).”

i was pretty surprised we were skipping maintenance, but it worked for me! Although i wasn’t sure what the “come see me” part was about either…. but whatever. No big deal.

Then i finished preparing for work – i dressed, hair/make up, jewelry and i went to see him….

He said, “get on your knees. You’re going to suck my cock now.”

He has never been that bold or direct really, especially about a BJ. (He uses a lot of passive-aggressive sentences which i really don’t like at all!)

So i was a bit surprised and my face must’ve shown it as he said, “don’t look at me like that. Just do it”. And he dropped his shorts and i dropped to my knees.

As i gave him a BJ, he made comments like “it would’ve been nice to make your ass a bright red today.”

And “I could’ve fucked your ass if I didn’t think you’d try to orgasm.”

And “this is about me. I made you put clothes on for a reason. You don’t get yours until tonight!”

(i think my ass was on his mind…. no complaints from me!)

Hearing him say those things made me so wet! And he even said, “I bet you are dripping right now. Like I said, there’s a reason I had you fully clothed to do this. You would’ve wanted to touch yourself and you are just needing to wait a bit longer.”

Well……. i was indeed SO super wet, that i was dripping! When i was done, there was a huge wet spot on the outside of my jeans that i had to change my pants! It was so visible from the outside it just wasn’t acceptable to go out of the house that way.

When he saw it, Sir asked me, “you didn’t cum, did you???”

And i said, “No Sir. Just ready for tonight. And us being together with BJ.”

He said, “yeah, I get TWO BJ’s today…. from you now and them later.” (Oh how funny was that little pun!)

So i need to hang on for a few more hours to get my own BJ also!

Have a great day….. i know i will!!

Hugs,

Marie

128 – Ice ice edging-without-orgasm!

We haven’t done chastity since before our CO vacation. i don’t know why exactly. It’s not like it’s not a thing. It just hasn’t happened.

But this morning, i am asking to wear it. Right now, i have been told, “maybe.”

So off to work i go. Wanting so badly to have my parts completely off limits and no-way-no-how to touch it.

Why? Well….. the edging has me mentally crazy! i so badly want to touch myself. And if i do, i know i won’t stop!

This morning as Sir was making his breakfast and i came out from the bedroom, dressed and ready to go to work, i greeted him properly with a kiss and a good morning.

He told me to raise my dress. i thought he was just going to confirm no panties (he does that from time to time. Random checks to see if i am compliant – and properly submissive).

Then he said, “Hold it up. Don’t move!”

And he walked to the frig and got a piece of ice out of the freezer. He turned back to me with an evil smile and said in a taunting voice, “Don’t cum…..”. As he walked towards me.

i was already bracing myself mentally!

His hand held the ice as it pressed against my pussy. i cringed and i flinched too. It was SO cold it was shocking!

He started to move his hand, along with the ice, up and down rubbing my clit and teasing my hole with his fingers too. His fingers slightly dipped into my needy cunt a couple of times, while the ice moved in sync with his hand. i thought he was going to plunge his fingers deep, along with the ice too, but he did not. Not sure if that was good or bad honestly!

As i made moaning sounds and leaned into his forearm, as it led from my pussy to his shoulder, he said, “don’t you even think about cumming right now!” with a serious and firm tone.

i simply said, “i don’t think that’s even possible! That ice is SO dang cold that i don’t think i can orgasm!”

Not to mention standing upright, in the kitchen, with my dress around my waist in my hands too! A lot to think about all at once!

He said, “I’m going to rub you now until the ice melts and you are so wet it runs down your leg. And you are not allowed to wipe it up when I’m done.”

“Yes Sir”

And the ice melted…….

Then he asked, “how was that?” Same as last night….. best and worst time ever!

i responded with, “Thank You Sir.” While i AM thankful for his attention, NOT so much for the continued edging or ice!

So that’s when i asked if i could wear chastity. To lock it up tight so i don’t go over the edge, accidentally on purpose! And he said, “Maybe. I’ll think about it. But not today. You need to go to work now.” i think he wants me to use mental willpower and not physical restraint. But my willpower is running on thin I-C-E right now! (Get the pun there!?!?! Lol!!)

So here i sit …. all sexted up and nowhere to go…. except of course to WORK!

(And when i went looking for a picture, i found this ice castle. And i thought it looked a lot like a vagina too. So it was fitting to post a vagina on ice….. since that’s exactly what i have right now!!!)

i’ll tell your more about previous swinging experiences and my stage fright in the next post now!

Hugs,

Marie

127 – Orgasm control

(i thought this picture was hot and the words completely described my situation…. except of course have to reverse the pronouns to substitute “him” for “her.” So i used it. 🥰)

As i was laying in bed relaxing and reading before sleep last night, David came in too. But instead of just laying down beside me, he pulled back my covers and spread my legs.

Part of being truly submissive to David is whenever and wherever he wants to have sex, or any kind of sexual activity at all, i do NOT deny him. It’s not an official rule, per se but it doesn’t need to be. It is SO very understood that we don’t even need to have it as a rule. Once he said that if i ever deny him, “it better be for a damn good reason!” Most of the time, it’s all good though and veryyyyyy seldom do i even want to deny him. So no real complaints from me, mostly because it benefits me too!

Definitely not this week. This week there’s a lot of teasing and no “benefits.” David said he wants to, “get me super excited” (and ready) for our date on Friday. As if i’m not already.

So this week will be only about edging … which is getting me super close to orgasm and stop. And repeat. And never quite getting to go over the “edge” to actually be allowed to orgasm….. until Friday.

Sir then moved down between my legs, and he looked up at me, straight into my eyes and said, “you better not cum!”

And he pressed his face to my pussy and assaulted my clit with his tongue in such a delightful way. His tongue felt simply amazing on my clit. i started to moan in ecstasy and he pulled back and said, “you better tell me before you go over the edge!”

i must always ask to orgasm. There is never a time i don’t have to ask, including during intercourse. If i don’t, there is punishment. And sometimes that punishment is immediate with something like a slap to my pussy or the sex coming to an immediate halt or an immediate spanking. Most of the time the punishment is that the next time i ask to orgasm, the answer is, “No, you already did it the last time without permission. So you don’t get to now.” And i am denied the pleasure. If and when i do ask though, about 90% of the time, i am told yes. So it is ultimately more about respecting the rule (this is a rule), his authority, and being submissive to wait for the answer.

But this week…. there’s no point in asking. i know the answer is no. And if i didn’t know before, he made it plainly obvious when he stopped licking my needy cunt to say, “you better not cum…. if you know what’s good for you!”

That’s when he immediately put his wet and warm tongue back on my inviting pussy, playing with my clit even more. It didn’t take much and i had to (quite literally) tap him out and barely eeked out the words, “please stop Sir.”

And he did. i knew he would, but i was hoping that 1% chance would reconsider allowing me to orgasm. But it was NOT!

That’s when he asked, “how was that?”

i responded with, “Amazing. Until i had to ask you to stop.”

In truth it was bitter sweet…. awesome AND terrible… because i HAD to ask him to stop when i absolutely did NOT want to!

Not only did i not want him to stop, but i had to ask aloud for him to stop too. He knew this was an action on my part. It was a decision to acknowledge his authority, follow the rules through my submission, and an active decision to obey. Ultimately this was about more than just orgasm control! It was our D/s dynamic at work.

He said, “you didn’t want to stop.”

i said “no Sir, i did not.”

And he said, “it’s great practice for Friday! You’ll be very ready to cum then.”

He continued, “it was a great accomplishment that you stopped. You should be proud!”

Again, this was about more than just orgasm control. It was truly about submission. While he was acknowledging the actual act of stopping him and denying my own orgasm, he’s also saying he’s proud of me for submitting. And we both knew it.

i kinda mumbled a “uh huh” sound and he laughed. He said, “this is good character building. Besides B&J will get the benefits now too.”

i also think all this edging might be a bit about (preemptively eliminating) nerves too. In the past, when we meet someone, while i want to be there and do this swinging thing, i get nervous and jittery. i tend to get all shy and reserved, which Sir does not understand at all which leads to (almost) having a panic attack on my part. If i am so sexed up that i can hardly wait to take my clothes off before we even get there… well…. no nervousness and all courage! Great topic to expand on in the next post. Stay tuned for more…..

Hugs,

Marie

Day 17: My Submissiveness

DAY 17: “IT’S NOT LIKE THAT … “What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?”

Where do i start?? Lol! Ok, seriously, i feel like i could talk about quite a few. But THE one i’ll talk about here is….

Kinky people are not abnormal. (See that double negative there… that means kinky people ARE normal).

When you hear the word “kinky,” it is in reference to (and an adjective of ) how they like their sex. So in that sense, i admit kinky people are not mainstream, but they (we!) are indeed still normal.

Yet, i would like to even out forth the argument that they ARE mainstream, just in the closet. i happen to think that kinky sex people are the new closet-lurkers that used to be inhabited by the gay/lesbian community. But once the gay/lesbian people evacuated the closet, kinky sex people took their place.

Or maybe kinky sex people were always in the closet, yet with gay/lesbian standing at the front (nearest the exit), no one noticed us there. Until of course, gay/lesbians decided to open the door and outted themselves.

i think kinky became the new closet-lurkers with the release of 50 Shades. i think EL James let the world know, “we are here, now in the closet alone, which is cool by us because this just gives us more room to spread out in here and to explore our sexual preferences… yet still in the dark too.”

i think the word “kinky” could be replaced with “adventurous” or “adrenaline junky” too.

i think it humorous when people want to scare themselves intentionally via watching a horror movie, or getting on an extreme roller coaster, or skydiving from an otherwise perfectly good airplane – and yet – having adventurous sex seems abnormal, odd, strange, or unusual.

So somehow getting my type of adrenaline junky adventure on has deemed me odd, strange, or unusual. Yet scaring myself until i cry, urinate myself, or otherwise cause my heart to race itself into a premature attack is deemed acceptable. (Okay, so sometimes maybe kinky sex causes crying, urination, and heart attacks too…. but … again, that just goes to show we are normal and why is our adrenaline seeking methods less acceptable than others?)

i dare say, like gay/lesbians, we are probably enjoying better and more frequent sex than the nay-saying, mainstream community has ever had.

i have asked the questions above about “why are kinky people’s methods deemed abnormal when the other mainstream activities are not.?” But you and i both ultimately know the answer…. because it’s not the way we were raised, because we aren’t supposed to be with more than one lover at a time, because we shouldn’t like being spanked or treated like a child or otherwise degraded….. or so it would seem to the outsider anyway!

And yet…. we do.

Our likes (and dislikes) don’t make us abnormal. i’d say maybe judgements and misunderstandings should be deemed the abnormal behavior here and the mainstream should be forced to bend a little. Oh wait…. that’s already happened by those gay/lesbian peeps before us. Honestly, while i think kinky people are ready to also evacuate the closet, we will probably just ease out slowly and walk along the path that those gay/lesbian (and EL James) Trail Blazers already cut for the rest of us!

So when someone at work, who you deem “normal” tells you some crazy and kinky story about their sex life…. don’t change your opinions about them one iota. They are still normal too!

Oh – and if/when mainstream DOES “bend a little” – i hope it’s so they bend OVER to get spanked or at least to have some of the best sex of their lives!

Hugs ~

Marie

107 – One Year (and a Day) ago.

One year (and one day) ago, i wrote post #39 about Domestic Discipline – in life. And i think it’s interesting that i was thinking about life, marriage, DD, etc this morning…. one year (and a day) later. So it got me to reflecting back and comparing the past or the present.

So after rereading that blog and i see how things have changed…. AND stayed the same. There’s a lot of both!

Just to make it easy to know what i’m referring to, and without flipping back and forth, here’s a screenshot of how it started……

Starting at the top, if i were to write those same paragraphs now, with TODAY’s opinions (but same gist)….. this is how the post would NOW go……..

i know i almost always talk about our lifestyle with reference to sex…..and spanking….. while that can and sometimes is a big part of it, it really isn’t JUST that. It’s more than that. In fact, it’s a daily activity. It’s something that never stops.

Ultimately i’d say that our Domestic Discipline (DD) life is more about showing respect and kindness than anything else. Especially from me to David, but it definitely goes in reverse too. And while this is something that everyone should do, but people frequently just don’t. (In fact, i think the world could use more of it … but that’s a whole other post altogether!)

Before DD, David would frequently tell me that i don’t “respect” him. i always thought i did, and in fact, i still think that. But now i know what i didn’t do then, but do now, is SHOW it to him. i speak with gentler and kinder words now than i ever did before. Instead of saying things like, “Will you take out the trash?” i now say something more like, “i would love it if you’d take the trash to the garage when you could, please Sir.” That’s not tremendously different, but it IS different. i make a point to let him know how much i would LOVE his help. But i don’t assume i’ll get it. Whereas before, i assumed he would do it so my words were more of a commandment than a question.

And i also ask with a “please.” Because ultimately it is his decision to do (or not) do it and please is the word to ASK for help, rather than just assume it is there. Where before DD, i just expected him to do it and while i’d word it in the form of a question, it was more of an expectation and a command rather than a true question. Now, it is truly a question, and while i am hopeful (and it is probable) that he will help, i know he might not. And if he doesn’t, i have to be ok with his decision too.

Now it’s really in the second paragraph (referring to the screenshot above from a year ago) that i see the biggest differences from then to now. And paragraphs 2 &3 are essentially the same, just more detail really. So here is today’s version…….

i used to say i would be much stricter than Sir. i know that we are really in sync now though… most days anyway. He’s grown in the last year as the leader of our house, and has ultimately gotten stricter. But i have also grown in my submission to him and more accepting of his leadership too. So we have effectively met in the middle! We both know the expectations… and consequences…. quite clearly. And he’s not afraid or shy or otherwise reserved to implement the consequences either.

(i think it’s maybe a tad hard to read all italics all the time, so i’m going to flip back to standard font, but otherwise, simply continuing on…..).

Some (even “many”) DD relationships have written rules. While we have rules, they aren’t written. We don’t have an official contract or signed agreement. While i can certainly see the benefit of this, when we first started this, neither of us knew what we wanted. i’d even say that at the time, this lifestyle was likely more of an experiment than a lifestyle. And while we may have had intentions of it being a lifestyle, it may have been like other things (diet and exercise for example), that you start strong and it fades away. So putting rules or an agreement in place wasn’t really possible, when all we had was a pen and a blank piece of paper in front of us. So you might say we had to experiment a bit first to find the right fit.

And perhaps it was the lack of a contract that has caused us to have a bit of a rocky start too…..where i thought he should be more strict and he didn’t think i even knew what i was asking for. But with or without a contract, in any good marriage of any lifestyle preference, communication is key.

We don’t always get it right…. no one does though. But we do strive to have effective communication always. Sometimes i struggle to find the right way to speak in a submissive tone, especially when i am stressed, angry, or adamant about a topic. This too is a learning process for both of us and likely always will be.

The biggest area of communication that causes the most strife for us typically starts with David speaking to me where he uses words that sound like i have a choice. The problem lies when i can’t tell if it is a true choice or not. Instead of telling me to do something, he might phrase it where it is optional.

For example, if we were to be having dinner out at a restaurant, David might say something like, “I think you need to get ready to go.” Now that’s not too confusing. While worded like a thought or his opinion, it’s really him informing me to go do it. This is especially true if i knew we were having dinner out. But say i was intending to wear what i had on at that moment out, what does that mean now? i thought i WAS ready, but now he is clearly indicating he doesn’t think so.

So now i have worked to communicate, in a respectful tone, my confusion. i’d probably say something like, “Please Sir could you use more direct words? i am not understanding your intentions.”

And he might would then say, “You are dressed too casual for the restaurant we are going to. You should wear pants (or a dress) rather than the shorts you have on.”

Now it’s clear to me. And i will get up and go change. Right then. I’d do it right then because that too shows respect. i find his directive something of importance to be followed RIGHT THEN and he appreciates that. So in this case, actions speak louder than words in expressing my respect towards him.

So back to the contract part…. we didn’t draft one at the start because we didn’t even know what it might would contain. And now, it kinda seems unnecessary. i know the rules. Again, they aren’t written, but like anything in life … you figure out what you can/can’t do or what you should/shouldn’t do. So my rules are ultimately still very clearly me.

i am to: be respectful, use kind words, never assume he will do something just because i ask, make my body available to him when he wants, do not touch myself in a sexual way without his permission, do not assume his body is available to me without asking permission, and orgasms have to be allowed (i have to ask first!) before i do so. And if these things are not done, expect consequences….. or said plainly: punishment…. in various forms, but primarily spanking.

And again, David isn’t afraid to enforce the rules. Nor is he remorseful about enforcing the rules. He will say something like, “You knew what to do. You didn’t do it. You know the consequences. So I’ll administer that now. And it will be over and done.”

Because ultimately, i’d tell you that while he enforces things, it’s the submissive who has control….. control to do as we have both agreed. Or to accept the consequences. i still have a lot of control, even though it may not seem like it at first.

So in reflecting from One Year (and a Day) ago to today…. i’m happy to say this IS a lifestyle, and also happy to say that i am NOT more strict than David. And instead, David is firmly in control. And always prepared to administer punishment if i don’t make wise decisions. And i love my discipline life!

The more things change….. the more they stay the same!

Hugs,

Marie