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28 – Day dreaming

I daydream… a lot. Especially about DD or maybe it’s D/s. I dunno. What I know is that I daydream way more about things that Sir could do and he doesn’t.

I debate if/when i should tell him about these daydreams. Because I think about things he could do to assert husband dominance over me. But if I tell him, wouldn’t that be “topping from the bottom”?! Wouldn’t it be me telling him how to do his job?

Let me be clear…..I’m NOT saying what he does is bad, it’s just not to the extreme levels that if i were in charge that i’d do to him. So I day dream about things he might could/ would do to me!

Give you an example? okay…..

So he cooks, i clean. That’s been our ‘thing’ since … well…forever. So as he’s cooking, i get to do “whatever” i want. And typically that’s watch t.v. Because i can. i wouldn’t allow it if things were reversed.

i day dreamed tonight about him saying, “While i cook, you need to ……… “…. what would you say? What would the BLANK be? FILL IN THE BLANK FOR ME!?!?!

And then i dreamed about how when he was eating, that i shouldn’t be. That he should have made me wait. And…… well….. the last one, i asked you what you’d suggest, this one i’ll tell you what i was thinking.

We have a teen son. So i can’t be naked, kneeling, etc. But there can be things done right under his nose… like he could have applied nipple clamps and made me “act normal” over dinner. And when i wasn’t able to maintain composure for the duration, tell our son “your mom is acting weird. Why is that Mom?” and i’d (of course) have to lie… which would earn me a spanking of monumental proportions after the fact.

And when it was time to spank, it would DEFINITELY make me cry. i’d be like, “we do NOT lie in this house!” SMACK!

And speaking of spanking… or discipline…. i’d be like… SMACK…. SMACK… SMACK. And when that ass was BRIGHT RED…. i’d make me stand… naked… in the corner. Hands behind the head. And nose touching the wall. And ass sticking out. And i’d make me stand there for 10-minutes.

At the end of 10, i’d make me get back on the bed with the ass in the air. And ready for “round 2”. And repeat it ALL-OVER-AGAIN.

And i’d force it to happen over and over again … until finally the tears fall … heavily! And until i was begging to please stop. And then beg some more.

As i type all this, i feel wet at these thoughts. i wonder if i should tell Sir this is what he can (and should) do… but again… wouldn’t that be ME being in charge of ME?!? Maybe Sir will read this and take my lead…. but isn’t that being passive-aggressive now?!?

Hmmm…. no idea how to proceed. i guess i’ll just keep telling you all my thoughts. And one day i’ll figure it alllllllll out. 🙂

~ Marie

27 – i got what i wanted.. spanked

Sometimes i think the idea of something is better than the real deal. Sometimes i know it’s for my own good. i’m not sure where this falls on the spectrum.

But i did get what i asked for…. spanked.

In terms of spankings intensity, this was very low in reality… but that’s all it took. It hurt! My butt was SO out of (spanking) shape, this hurt in a hurry!

Sir just took his time, swats all over my ass, and i jumped all over the place. That didn’t make him the least bit happy. So he kept going. And my butt got redder and redder. And tender. And hot.

And he said “are you going to be able to sit down?”

And I said “yes”

So he kept going.

Tears were starting to leak out of my eyes. i really wanted to beg for him to stop, but i had just (begged) for him to do this … and in my mind, i needed to yield to his authority. So i needed to let him tear up my ass as much as he wanted to.

And then it ended. And while it was a relief at that moment, not even 10-minutes later, i was craving more.

i feared that after such a long break from the DD lifestyle, that i’d get it back and really not want it after all. But … it was like a homecoming.

i welcome the next one and i hope my tears flow much more fluidly and thoroughly.

Hugs,

Marie

26 – i asked for a spanking


Technically speaking, i asked David to tell me “how serious” he was about DD, because if he wasn’t, i wanted to know and if he was.. well,…. i wanted to know.

i didn’t have the courage to actually ask him face-to-face, so i did what everyone else would do… i texted. 😉

Me: “so i understand why we’ve gotten away from DD as of late, but i miss it. And i understand if you say no, but if you are still wanting this type of marriage/life, i am asking to be spanked.”

Silence.

No text back.

He hasn’t even read it. Yet.

Can i delete this? “Recall”?

Am I stupid? Why do i WANT to be spanked?

Seriously?

Oh …. he read it… oh there’s the three ….’s….he’s texting… . what will his answer be? Why do i feel anxious about this?

Sir: “there’s more to discipline than JUST spankings, you know?!”

Me:

thinking: oh wow. Careful what you ask for.

Texting: yes Sir.

Maybe things are back on track ….soon… ready or not, here we go! And that means a sore butt…. but happiness galore!

25 – Miss Sir and me


It’s been a very long time since i have posted. i miss me. i miss Sir. I went into a funk. We got out of the DD relationship… not intentionally, but instead “life” got in the way. I miss it.

We went into the holidays, got busy, family in town… all made disciplining hard. Promise to follow up later. Then Sir got sick and then and then.

i wish he would be in charge, take charge, and lead. i hope Sir returns to his position in our family and marriage soon.

24 – Playing without permission

Speaking of playing without permission, i decided to do just that yesterday.  i was in my own mind, having a fantastic fantasy, and decided to “play it out” in real life.  Problem was:  it was NOT with permission.

Here’s what happened ….David was tired, on a Saturday, and decided to take an afternoon nap. i was not tired.  And my mind wandered.  And i got horny.

i imagined my Sir saying, “while I am napping, I want you to lay on the bed next to me. Do NOT wake me up.  But DO play with yourself.  Get yourself wet.  VERY wet.  But do NOT cum.  You are NOT allowed to cum!  Do you understand me?”

Me: “Yes Sir.  But Sir, i don’t know how long you will sleep.  That could be hours!?”

David says, “I’m glad you understand.  But do you really think I care that you don’t know how long it will be?  I gave a directive and I expect you to follow it!  Any reason why you can’t??”

Me:  “No Sir”.

Sir: “Good!  Now be a good girl and help me have some good dreams and wake up to an amazing reality.  You are allowed to use any toys you like.  You are simply NOT to cum or wake me.  Now do you understand?”

Me: “Yes Sir”.

So i got out my inflatable dildo.  And i inserted it.  And i pumped it up.  And pulled it in and out.  And inflated it more and more.  i counted how many ‘pumps’ i did.  i got to 10 before it felt tight.  So then i did 5 more!  It stretched my pussy so much it hurt.  i made myself hold that pain and stretch for a count of 60-seconds. i wasn’t sure the tears wouldn’t fall, but i held them back. 

And i released all the air. It deflated.  That’s when i touched my clit with one hand and pulled the dildo in and out with the other.  i was getting seriously aroused and very wet indeed!  

That’s when i repeated the inflation.  And again, i counted how many pumps of the dildo that i did.  Since i did 15 before, i did 15 again. It was SO completely large and tight. i had to use one hand to hold the dildo in while holding the pump with the other.  And i pumped it 2 more times.  And held it.

ALRIGHT – TIME OUT – insert sound effects — screeeeeetch … roll back tape.  SO what exactly is reality and what is fantasy?!

WELL – all of the above actually happened… the EXCEPTION being for the actual conversation with and direction from Sir.  THAT part was in my head.  The rest – the dildo, the pumping, the holding, the stretching, the touching my clit – THAT part – that all happened in real life.

And THAT was when Sir woke up!  OH NO.  WHAT WILL BE THE CONSEQUENCES?!? (insert sound effects:  Dun, dun, Dun….)

So i’ll say – What did NOT happen was Sir waking up at that moment and in that position and saying, “Oh my Good Girl!  How fantastic! You know I’ve been stretching you in anticipation of getting my entire hand in that pussy of mine!  I am SO pleased you used this time to make that pussy of mine so ready for me!”

NOPE.  Instead, what i heard was, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  DID YOU HAVE PERMISSION FOR THAT???”

Me:  “Sir, can i explain?”

Sir:  “What’s to explain? It looks pretty obvious to me!”

Me: “Well, i had a fantasy….” (and i told him everything i told you above).

That’s when i heard him say, “Hold that pose.  Do NOT move”. 

That’s when he got off the bed (in real life) and disappeared into the bathroom.  When he came back, he took the dildo out. 

i was fully anticipating getting my ass beat raw.  But that was NOT what happened either!  Instead, he had lube in one hand, rubbing it onto his other. 

He said, “For this to work, you have to be VERY still and VERY relaxed.  Do NOT clinch your muscles or move your legs or ass one bit!”

Me:  “Yes Sir”.  (What?  i’m going to get my fantasy to become reality?!? And NOT get in trouble?!?!)

And he roughly and quickly pushed 2-fingers into my pussy.  i flinched.  And my muscles tightened.  That’s when the look on his face grimaced.  And i heard him say, “What part of ‘relax’ didn’t make sense?  relax.  NOW!”

Me:  “Yes Sir”. And i did. 

And all 4-of his fingers inserted into my cunt.  i focused on staying very relaxed and very calm.  i focused on my breathing.  

i heard Sir say, “Oh what a tight feeling.  Good Girl for not flinching that time.  Now just my thumb remains!”  And i felt it touch my clit for a second before it also went in.

WOW – that was SO tight. My back arched.  And that caused my pussy to also move positions.  And Sir took his free hand and slapped my tits. Followed by a hard squeeze of the nipples.  

i let out a yelp.  He said, “you deserved that!  Your movement caused my hand to hurt.  Do NOT move again or you will feel the same pain I feel!  Am I clear?!?!”

Me: “Yes Sir”.  And i kept repeating the words in my head “relax, relax, relax.  loose.  loose.  loose.  Wet.  wet. wet.”

And his hand pushed harder and further inside me. He was able to get about 3/4ths of it in.  And he wiggled his fingers.  THAT was such a turn on.  i was about to cum.  i could feel it.  i was already so wet and so turned on and now being in this position with David stretching inside me it was all too much.

i asked “Sir, may i cum now please?”

“No”

“PLEASE?”

“NO!”

And that was the very second he pulled it out and said, “You didn’t have permission to play with my pussy.  And now you are not allowed permission to cum either!”

Then David said, “Put the dildo back in.  Inflate it again. And turn over”

i did as i was told while he disappeared to the bathroom again.  i heard running water.  He’s cleaning up.  i heard a drawer.  i knew that was the paddle coming out.  

He said, “since you are so determined to have that cunt so stretched, I’m going to spank you hard now and you are NOT to allow that dildo to come out!  Do whatever you have to do, but it will NOT come out or we will start again!”

“Yes Sir”

He spanked me senseless and without mercy.  i deserved it.  i’d be lying if i didn’t admit too that i am glad i did it.  That fantasy come true was SO worth it.

But now today my ass is still sore as i type this.  But i’d do it again for THAT result!  🙂