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173 – Multiple choice(s).

Yesterday was a bit of a hard day at work. It was a fast-paced day and i was pulled in many directions. All in all, i came home emotionally drained.

i debated with myself if i needed a spanking or not. i have said before that when i get stressed, i am not very submissive….. but what about “just tired”? How is my submissiveness then?

So then i thought i was feeling needy instead too. In need of sexual release. Maybe i just needed to relax in a warm bath. Or maybe i needed to just know i was not in control.

i just couldn’t quite decide…….

And found myself thinking, “What exactly is it that i need??”

That’s when i realized the ultimate answer was i needed to release the feeling of “always needing to have all the answers,” which is exactly what happens at work. i need to have solutions. But not at home. It’s nice to know i am NOT in control and just need to follow directives.

So i went to David and said, “i think I need a spanking, an orgasm, or a (butt) plug. What do you think?”

He immediately responded. “All of the above. Go assume the position and I will be there shortly.”

A-L-L of the above??

So, i went to the bedroom. i got the plug out and ready on the nightstand, and then assumed the position with the paddle in the small of my back, bent over the bed and waited.

i managed to escape all (but one) spanking, including Friday maintenance, in the month of January. Which was good AND bad! Good for obvious reasons, but bad because: 1) my bottom quickly forgets how much that paddle stings, and 2) skipping maintenance tends to lead to trouble in the end for us because maintenance is a reminder for both of us of how we like to keep things.

So to the forgetting of how those paddle swings feel….. Those first warm up paddle smacks were quite a reminder for me today! i hadn’t felt that in awhile and wow… how easily and quickly we forget!

That paddle barely touched me and my rear end warmed up in a swift HOT minute. After a few minutes of warm-up, i then received 5-true swift and strong swats. i let out a yelp as each one collided with my ass. And then .. just like that… it was done.

And to the skipping maintenance part…. well maintenance keeps things going in the direction we want. It is a reminder for David of how to lead and direct our family, and a reminder to me of how to submit through actions and words both.

After that stinging spanking, Sir said, “And now the plug. Stay still.”

i felt the plug start to slide into my back hole. i haven’t worn one in awhile so it felt super large, but of course it was the same as always. Sir was kind and eased it in slowly until the widest part popped into its place, which caused me to gasp for breathe for a split second.

That’s when he said, “now turn over on your back and spread your legs.”

i did as instructed. And wow, did my rear end instantly sting more as i laid it on the bed after being freshly spanked. Not to mention as i spread my legs i felt the plug push in deeper as my cheeks squeezed together too.

Then he went between my legs and made me see stars. He made me beg for that release i so needed! i was allowed to orgasm only after the third time that i asked, because he simply ignored the first two requests. He knows how to have the intensity build to a heightened level and makes me wait and beg in earnest for permission to cum.

It is truly a challenge to hold it in and NOT cum when it’s what you want most in that moment. Following his lead is a real challenge in that moment. But i did succeed and that release was SO intense and amazing and mind numbing too.

That’s when he smiled at me and said, “ok, time to redress. Don’t take the plug out without permission.”

He pulled me up from the bed to my feet and smacked my ass hard with his hand just one more time, to which his grin grew as big as ever. The easy words that fell from my lips were, “Thank You Sir.”

He kissed me and said , “you are welcome.”

It was a true mental, and physical, release that i so desperately needed. NOT being in control is an active decision. It was exactly what i needed, but didn’t even realize i was even needing or seeking until i turned the decision over to David. And when he took control, i was able to relax.

That’s how my day ended yesterday. Was your day better?

Hugs,

Marie

172 – The Masks We Wear. The figurative ones.

i like to read books… occasionally. i’m not an avid reader, but when i find an author that holds my attention and isn’t predictable, i devour everything they have to say. At least until they become predictable and then i am done with that one too.

i wouldn’t say i necessarily have a favorite genre because the authors i like most, are vastly different in their writings. In case you are wondering, here’s a few of my favs (in no particular order): John Grisham (lawyer-mystery), Kristin Hannah, Sara Bruen and Kathryn Stockett (general fiction), Veronica Roth and Suzanne Collins (Teen Fiction), (also general fiction)…. and i’d be amiss if i didn’t mention Erotica too (Annabel Joseph and Cara Bristol).

Even still, i don’t typically read everything from those authors because within themselves they tend to become…. predictable.

Recently i read a new author and I haven’t decided yet if i like her work or not, but she talked a lot about “the masks we wear.”

The author wrote the book long before covid was a thing. So she wasn’t talking anything about germ-protection, but rather fully about how very different we are to one person compared to another. Say for example how we act or say at work with co-workers, compared to what we say or do when we are at home with family would not necessarily be the same.

What we reveal to one person about ourself wouldn’t be the same as what someone else knew (or thought they knew) about us.

It made me think about how (sometimes) if someone knew that “one part of me,” they may think differently about me and would they think good/bad about it?! And for me, that one thing would be about my DD marriage. i tell you here about my DD life because i think you understand but many people probably wouldn’t. And if they did understand, they possibly/probably wouldn’t approve.

i think disciplining a wife was so commonplace at one time and in a prior, different generation that people didn’t talk about it. Meaning, in the 1950’s and prior, husbands spanked their wives and it was so common then, that people didn’t talk about it anymore than they’d talk about cleaning the toilets. Something like, “We all do it and it’s part of life, so there’s nothing noteworthy to even talk about.” Or another analogy might be like if you asked someone then, “anything exciting happen today?” That because spankings were just part of the norm, it wouldn’t even have registered as an “event” worthy enough to even be discussed.

Now, in this generation, post the 60’s women’s movement, it’s turned into something of a faux pas that no one talks about it still now either. It’s hard to know who spanked their wives in that 50’s and before generation(s) because people didn’t talk about it. And it would be the same now not knowing who is spanked for people still not talking about it. But now people don’t talk about it because it is a hidden, under-a-mask (or a veil) kind of topic.

i suspect if you met me in real life, you’d not even know we do this. Because i don’t talk about it in real life either. Part of why i don’t talk about it is because (like the 50’s housewife), it is just the norm of what we do, but also (like the 2021 wife that i am), it isn’t socially acceptable.

i quite literally put on a mask outside my house to protect myself from covid, but also i put on a figurative mask to hide my “secret” about being a spanked wife and that’s ok. As in the quote from Batman, i wear a mask “not to hide who i am, but to create what i am.”

And i am a submissive wife, who is spanked regularly.

Why do we wear masks? Why can’t we be ourselves? Why can’t we reveal ourselves, fully, to those around us?

i think it’s for fear of being rejected or judged. We all want to be liked and rejection is hard. It cuts to the core. We don’t want that other person to dislike us for any reason.

But in the process of trying to be liked, do we end up masking ourselves so much that we morph into someone we aren’t? i would say, i don’t (morph into someone i am not).

While yes, it is more or less a secret to most of my world that i am a spanked wife, other than that one thing about me and my marriage, i am (mostly) the same person to everyone i interact with.

In fact, it’s kind of a secret that David and i do this that we have “hidden in plain sight.” We make comments sometimes that only we would get the double-meaning and no one around would even know. Like for example, tonight i was going to take the dog for a walk and i told her to sit (to get her leash on) and she just wouldn’t. i said, “she is so stubborn. If she’d be a bit more cooperative it would be helpful.”

To which my husband said, “smack her on her bottom if she needs it. It works well when she feels the burn in her butt to get to do as she’s told. Right?”

And i laughed and said, “yes Sir, that is true.”

Our son heard it all and thought nothing of it, other than she’s a disobedient dog.

Looking back, i am pretty convinced my grandfather spanked my grandma too. She would get all wound up about something and he would raise his eyebrows and call her by her first and middle name with a tone that said, “calm yourself down now or else….”. And she did.

i always wondered why saying nothing other than her name would get my fiesta grandma to her change her tone and behavior so quickly. Even though i never saw or heard anything definitive to know this for certain, i am now convinced she was spanked and a submissive wife. i wish she were still alive for me to ask her about it.

But i doubt i would have the courage to ask because… we hide behind masks. Literally and figuratively. And we only show the parts of ourselves to those around us that we allow them to see. Because rejection stinks.

i guess i will never know for sure.

What do you think… was your mom or grandma a spanked wife too? Would you have the courage to ask?

(Oh, and i am hoping the literally mask-era comes to an end soon.. but i am not too optimistic either.)

Hugs,

Marie

171 – A Spanked wife is a Happy Life

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Happy Wife, Happy Life”. But i would propose a change to that phrase to instead read….

A SPANKED WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE.

“We all know who wears the pants in that family!”

“It’s obvious who’s in charge in that relationship”

These are sentences we’ve heard or even spoken before. The very idea that a relationship has equality is absurd to me. When there are just two people, who are voting their “side,” there can be is stalemate when the two sides are opposing. It results in a 50/50 split. And who is the one to break the tie? Who is the one to relent? Who is the one to say, “we will do it your way.”???

While i think there are relationships that may well be nearly equal in that both sides relent frequently, never is it completely equal. Which means that someone is in control and makes the decisions, and the someone else relents.

That someone who gets the win, “wears the pants.”

That person making the decisions is the natural Dominant and the person who relents is the natural submissive.

In our house, i do not even try to be equal as i don’t want to be. i want to submit to his will and his authority, as he submits to God’s will and God’s authority. This keeps it all in (our version of) balance.

So the person who wears the pants in this family is NOT me!

But sometimes balance doesn’t stay in balance. And it needs a reset. Or discipline. And in my opinion, the best reset is a spanking.

i did some research and picked out some reasons to spank your wife and how it leads to a happy life. Of course, i picked the ones i wanted to write about and ignored all the nah-sayers, so this is nowhere near official. Lol.

As such… take it as MY OPINION (with support for said opinion).

Reasons to spank your wife…..

#1: Power is Sexy… which leads to LOVE

Powerful people are (mostly) attractive and sexy. Think about some of the most influential people in society and even specific to your life. Odds are, they are confident, in control, (Dominant), and…. sexy.

And where there’s sex, there’s love. Okay, not always, but sexy can lead to love and in any “relationship,” i sincerely hope there’s love!

And if you have enough love in the relationship, you love her enough to correct the misbehavior. And you love him enough to submit to the spanking.

Spanking someone, done from a position of power is love. It means you are loving someone enough to do what is needed, even when it’s hard. And yes, it should be a bit hard for the Dominant to do. Because you don’t want to hurt her, but rather to guide her, and sometimes that requires tough love… and discipline.

#2: It will keep her calm

For me, i am a Dominant woman in much of my outside-the-home life. That may come as a surprise to some of you but it is true. At work, i am a boss. When things flow the way they should, i am calm. But how often does that happen?

At home, i am NOT in control, nor do i want to be. i want to come home and know i can relax and not have to make any decisions. i like to follow rules and directives. But sometimes even that doesn’t happen.

When these things don’t flow in the right order, chaos occurs. Now I know chaos is part of life but i don’t like it! And it typically throws me into a tizzy.

Spanking restores the calm and reason. It centers me. It forces me to focus on just one thing…. standing still and listening to Sir’s voice in THIS moment.

It grounds me, and restores the calm.

#3: Creates Intimacy and Builds Trust

Getting naked and baring your bottom for someone to see (and spank) requires intimacy. Physically by showing yourself to him. Mentally by showing yourself to him.

Yes, i said the same thing for both mental AND physical. Because it’s true. You have to unclothe your physical self AND your mental self to submit to a spanking.

So while you are unclothing and showing yourself to him, you show him you trust him enough to lead you, to guide you, and to be in control…. without abusing that control or trust. You are saying, “i trust you Sir!”

Which ultimately leads to the utmost levels of intimacy for both of you!

#4: Biblical

While you won’t find “spank your wife” in the Bible, you will find, “Husbands are to lead and women are to submit.” And (in my opinion) failing to submit requires disciplinary actions to get things on track.

All the way back to the Bible times, it was clearly written and people accepted it as the way of life, that men and women are not equal. And as such, discipline is necessary.

#5: Love

When you love her enough and care enough to discipline, you care about keeping the love alive and well in your relationship. And when you love him enough, you will submit to a spanking because you will know that it is good for you both. It builds up your relationship in a way that you just can’t imagine. And once you do it, you’ll agree….

The love is deeper and more profound than anything you had before……

And you never want to be wearing the pants in your family again.

But you will want to pull them up after that spanking is done and hopefully you don’t have to do it again anytime soon!

Hugs,

Marie

170 – First Spanking of 2021.

The first spanking of this year was not for maintenance. It was a discipline spanking and happened on only the 5th day of the year!

It was in the morning while i was still waking up. i was sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and surfing the internet, when Sir started talking about the day’s agenda. He said, “I have a yoga instructor coming to the house for a 1-on-1 session.”

You should know that since April and the original Nationwide quarantine for COVID, he has been working from home and it works quite nicely for all. so he has a lot more flexibility in his schedule than i do with me working at an office. (Did you get the pun there… “flexibility” while being a post about yoga… ok, maybe just my silliness at work. Carryon….)

Now it was an innocuous statement all by itself, but it made me mad. He had quite literally never spoke about yoga until this moment, with the exception of (about) 5-years ago [pre-DD] when i was talking some yoga classes and asked him to go with me. He went twice and swore he’d never do it again as it was just not for him. So this was a shocking statement really that not only had he been thinking about it, but decided, contacted, and scheduled a 1-on-1 session too… without ever mentioning it to me.

Now he’s not required to tell me everything, nor am i to him. But of course, it seemed to me that he would have since we’ve been starting to try to be in better shape, exercise more, and lose weight together. AND he has quite literally sworn off yoga in the past.

i am still working to be at my goal weight for my 50th bday later this year. But with it being winter-season, it gets dark too early in the evening and i don’t like walking alone in the dark. i have a healthy fear of bad things happening in the dark outside while alone. So i have been (practically) begging David to walk with me at night after work since about October. Many days he’s relented, but some days he says no, making it a real challenge for me.

Somewhere around a month ago though, we have officially started walking together after work most evenings probably due to my relentless begging for him to go. And of course now with the New Year, everyone’s resolution seems to always be to lose weight, including his.

So now he is going to do a yoga-exercise-class without me???

Can you now see why i was immediately upset? Well, he didn’t. i said nothing out loud at all though. He had no idea i was triggered and now quite upset.

He kept talking and the next thing he said, that required my response about 2-minutes later was, “Should i make you some breakfast when i make make my own this morning?”

And unfortunately for me, i wasn’t able to respond in a positive way but instead i did so in a very snarky tone and words. My words were appropriate for my attitude at that moment……

i said, “Why? So i can go to the office and let the food just sit on my ass while you work out and lose weight without me??”

And that did it.

He said, “Go Assume the Position.” With the calmest voice you can imagine, which was almost disconcerting in and of itself.

Well, i happen to have been drafting a post to you at the time so i wanted to finish my thought and save it before going. He noticed the 1-minute hesitation and said in a raised and getting agitated voice, “N-O-W!”

So i did. Under protest. And definitely with annoyance and anger in my head and on my face and in the way i stomped to the bedroom.

When he came in i was in position, including with the paddle resting in the small of my back. But he didn’t pick it up. Instead, he opened the nightstand and pulled out the cane.

Yep. For Christmas i bought him a set of canes. We have never had or used canes before so this was going to be different. We both kinda wanted to try them, but it wasn’t until a good sub-friend helped me figure out which one(s) to buy that i decided to surprise him with it for Christmas.

When he opened the set of 3, he smiled and said, “this will make Friday’s more exciting for awhile!” And yet, this discipline spanking was the first he was trying it out.

When i felt the cane smack the first time, i cringed and flinched. He didn’t even hit me hard, but it wasn’t expected either. He had left the paddle in the small of my back and after i flinched he said, “Don’t let the paddle move! It stays in its place!”

And in my head i thought, “yeah right! That ain’t happening! And in fact when it falls, what are the consequences??” But thankfully i didn’t smart off out loud about that!

i felt the cane hit several times and it wasn’t without much actual force, but i sure did hear the distinct “swish” of the cane’s whipping motion in the air before it collided with my ass too.

In NO time at all, i was feeling the sting! He said, “And what’s with the attitude? I offer to make you breakfast and you smart off??”

S-T-I-N-G!

Ouch!

He said, “I asked a question and I expected an answer!”

S-T-I-N-G! again….. OUCH again!

i spat out the words, “you made me mad announcing you are doing a 1-on-1 yoga session without me, when you know i am trying so hard to get in shape and lose weight, especially this year with my 50th coming up. And you don’t even like yoga!”

S-T-I-N-G! a 3rd time again….. and a serious OUCH now!

i came off the bed and was more-or-less standing upright. The paddle fell to the floor. i mentally cringed. Now what?? i already feel the sting of that cane sooo much! And in truth, we both know he hasn’t even used it with much force or repetition!

He stood there and waited. He said nothing. i resumed the position. He said, “THAT was a good girl getting back into position, despite having not kept the paddle in place.”

i knew then that having lost the paddle would be a forgiven transgression. Now only to finish with the first transgression!

He said, “I was intending to find someone who seemed good for both of us and then to have group/family classes once a week. But I know I am less agile than you so I figured most any instructor would work for you! I expected you’d be happy that I got this sorted out without having to bother you with the details.”

S-T-I-N-G! a 4th and most painful yet. Not sure if it’s cuz the sting-factor is building or he used more force. He definitely has moved around on my ass and upper thighs, but man this cane has a biting sting! And yes, i came off the bed… again. And again, i resumed the position after catching my breath.

He continued, “are you still mad?”

Yes! I am! I see your point, but that doesn’t change my mind that you could’ve told me all this before I found myself in this position.

He smacked again and said, “Seriously? Are you not going to answer me? Again??”

i said in a calm tone, “Yes, i am still mad, but i am trying not to be.”

He said, “I can continue to swat until you aren’t mad. You need to tell me when you are not mad.”

Sting – sting – sting – sting – sting – sting – sting.

Quick and swift, over and over, all around from top of my ass to the middle of my thighs.

Ok, i cry mercy!

“I’M NOT MAD…. SIR.”

“You sure?”… STING

“Oh yes Sir. I’m not mad, just wanting this to stop please Sir.”

And it did.

He stood me up, put his arms around me and said, “next time you get mad, instead of being silent or smarting off to me, you will just come assume the position and I will know. So we can avoid the smart ass tone, my anger and annoyance back, and a potential fight. I will spank you until you aren’t mad, so that you can speak to me in calm words. Am I clear?”

“Yes Sir.”

Ahh great. A New rule for the New Year.

But once again, i will tell you…. i know it works. i really was NOT mad anymore when i told him so. i really was able to talk calmly afterward. It really did allow me to refocus and speak kindly. He really did have the best of both of our interests at heart.

And so… when i am mad again next, i will just go Assume the Position…. and do so willingly.

And in case you wondered……. i had cane lines across my ass for several hours and felt the sting for much of the morning…. while he was stretching with the yoga instructor, i was squirming in my chair at the office.

AND….. he liked her, so we will start this next week as a family doing yoga together.

Cheers… to a new year.. a new cane… and a new start!

Hugs,

Marie

169 – Cheers to 20 years… And counting!

20- years ago today, i married my best friend David.

If you’ve read through other posts on my blog, you already know that all 20 haven’t been perfect. But we are together. Thriving and doing life together.

Here’s a few things about us that i haven’t shared before (i don’t think)…..

– He is 8-years older than me. So when he was graduating College, i was still just in Jr High. At young ages, the age gap matters but at older (adult) ages, age is just a number.

– Met at work …. yes, we have the same professional careers. i have never told you what we do, but you could likely figure it out from context clues throughout if you wanted to. (And if you think you know, email me and i will tell you if you are right…. i will be honest if you guess correctly).

– Dated for 5-years when i gave him an ultimatum. When i did so, i said, “if you don’t know now, you’ll never know.” And this was said after we spent our 5-year-dating-anniversary in Hawaii, on a beach, with a glorious backdrop, where i just knew he was going to propose…. and yet, he did not. He was quite shocked when i called him out that day by saying, “Decide NOW or we are done!” Clearly he chose correctly…. lol.

– We have one child (a son) who is 16 1/2 now. It took 2-years and lots of doctors, drugs, and prayers to get pregnant at all. If he had been a girl, we were going to name him Grace….. by the Grace of God we were granted the gift of a child. i never took birth control after we were married, or after our son’s birth, and yet he is the only child God did deliver to us. i am grateful and blessed for what i have!

– Lived in 3-houses over 20-years. We have lived in our current home for most recent 8-years and i expect we will be here for another 8 (or more!). We may sell after that, since our son should be more than on his own at that point and we could probably downsize then. But after that many years here, we may just stay “forever” too.

– Have traveled to many continents where we have blessed to see with our own eyes many parts of God’s glorious world, including (in no real particular order here): China, England, France, Netherlands, and Italy. David has also been places without me (for work), that i was sad to not be able to also go with, including Brazil, Singapore, and Taiwan. It’s hard to say what i think has been my favorite as they are all so vastly different but i have fond memories in each of those all the same! i did especially love seeing the Great Wall of China, the beaches of Normandy, Louvre museum in Paris, Red light district in Amsterdam and seeing the coliseum in Rome.

– We have also traveled within the US to almost every state. We have been to 46 states and have only 4 to go. The ones we have not been to are: Montana, Alaska, Idaho, North Dakota. And we have been making plans to go to both Montana and Alaska, so they likely will be off the list in another 1-3’ish years (pending covid restrictions for travel). Some of my favorite US places include California’s beaches, Oregon’s Original Starbucks, South Carolina’s golf courses, Florida’s Disney World, South Dakota’s Mount Rushmore, New York’s Broadway shows, Philadelphia’s Liberty Bell and historical sites, Virginia (and DC)’s historical sites, including the realization that “The Smithsonian” museum is actually plural as in “MuseumS”, Louisiana’s LSU university that my husband is a die-hard graduate and fan of, plus all of Nebraska, Tennessee, Oklahoma and Arkansas for our family members who live there now.

– My most favorite state is my own Lone Star State of Texas, where i was born, raised, and still live. We currently live about 8-miles from where i grew up and i love it here. There’s no place like home! i say i will never leave, but depending on where our son —- and my future grand babies live —- i may well leave this great state.

– And…. we practice Domestic Discipline. We have only fully implemented it for the most recent 2 1/2 years, or just 10% of our married life, but it started in smaller ways about 5-years before that. i suppose like our dating life, it took awhile for us to fully embrace this way of life and we played-around with the ideas and ways of it for several years before. While i didn’t truly give David an ultimatum about DD, i did kinda do just that. When i officially decided, about 2 1/2 years ago that i just had-to-have this, i told him and we have been on this path ever since. i can’t wait til our 50th anniversary where i can say we have officially done this for “more than half” our married life.

While i say i wish we had started it sooner (and that’s so very true!), i’m not so sure we could’ve or would’ve appreciated it as much then as what we do now. i wonder if sometimes you have to go through some bad/hard times to truly appreciate the good times.

When you are in the heart of a valley, the only way to see anything is to look up. And in fact, you can’t see much else. To find a way out of the valley and to get to the top of the highest peak, is the goal at that point.

Our marriage hasn’t been without some true deep valley moments, i rather like to say we are currently in a mountain moment. When on the mountain, you can look back down the valley and see with clear eyes where you’ve been, but don’t currently stand. And yet, often times, when i look back at the valley i see it with fond memories of how far we have come. i don’t see all the pain, hurt, and achy-ness i felt when we were actually down in the valley. Or maybe i do see it, but i no longer am surrounded by it. i can appreciate it for what it was and the things we learned when we were standing smack dab in the middle of it.

And i know i never want to go back there if i can help it. (Although i am sure more valley-moments do indeed lie ahead again at some point in our future too!)

So yes, Domestic Discipline has saved my marriage from the depths of the valley. And we will always have this with us as we walk into even more of our older years together. i firmly believe THIS is how we are firmly to live, love, and breath, all the remaining days of our lives together in this world.

i love the Mountain Top view we currently share, and i pray the valley moments coming in the future will be endurable and few and far between.

Happy 20th anniversary to my loving Sir (and myself).

Oh and as to our gifts to one another….. i asked him probably 5’ish years ago if we could get a pool. He now said yes! Sooooo we will be installing a pool and hit tub over the coming months and will have lots of hot, humid, Texas-weather coming up soon to enjoy while skinny dipping in the pool! (That should provide some exciting blogable topics! 😉)

Hugs – and love and kisses to my husband of 20-years –

Marie