20- years ago today, i married my best friend David.
If you’ve read through other posts on my blog, you already know that all 20 haven’t been perfect. But we are together. Thriving and doing life together.
Here’s a few things about us that i haven’t shared before (i don’t think)…..
– He is 8-years older than me. So when he was graduating College, i was still just in Jr High. At young ages, the age gap matters but at older (adult) ages, age is just a number.
– Met at work …. yes, we have the same professional careers. i have never told you what we do, but you could likely figure it out from context clues throughout if you wanted to. (And if you think you know, email me and i will tell you if you are right…. i will be honest if you guess correctly).
– Dated for 5-years when i gave him an ultimatum. When i did so, i said, “if you don’t know now, you’ll never know.” And this was said after we spent our 5-year-dating-anniversary in Hawaii, on a beach, with a glorious backdrop, where i just knew he was going to propose…. and yet, he did not. He was quite shocked when i called him out that day by saying, “Decide NOW or we are done!” Clearly he chose correctly…. lol.
– We have one child (a son) who is 16 1/2 now. It took 2-years and lots of doctors, drugs, and prayers to get pregnant at all. If he had been a girl, we were going to name him Grace….. by the Grace of God we were granted the gift of a child. i never took birth control after we were married, or after our son’s birth, and yet he is the only child God did deliver to us. i am grateful and blessed for what i have!
– Lived in 3-houses over 20-years. We have lived in our current home for most recent 8-years and i expect we will be here for another 8 (or more!). We may sell after that, since our son should be more than on his own at that point and we could probably downsize then. But after that many years here, we may just stay “forever” too.
– Have traveled to many continents where we have blessed to see with our own eyes many parts of God’s glorious world, including (in no real particular order here): China, England, France, Netherlands, and Italy. David has also been places without me (for work), that i was sad to not be able to also go with, including Brazil, Singapore, and Taiwan. It’s hard to say what i think has been my favorite as they are all so vastly different but i have fond memories in each of those all the same! i did especially love seeing the Great Wall of China, the beaches of Normandy, Louvre museum in Paris, Red light district in Amsterdam and seeing the coliseum in Rome.
– We have also traveled within the US to almost every state. We have been to 46 states and have only 4 to go. The ones we have not been to are: Montana, Alaska, Idaho, North Dakota. And we have been making plans to go to both Montana and Alaska, so they likely will be off the list in another 1-3’ish years (pending covid restrictions for travel). Some of my favorite US places include California’s beaches, Oregon’s Original Starbucks, South Carolina’s golf courses, Florida’s Disney World, South Dakota’s Mount Rushmore, New York’s Broadway shows, Philadelphia’s Liberty Bell and historical sites, Virginia (and DC)’s historical sites, including the realization that “The Smithsonian” museum is actually plural as in “MuseumS”, Louisiana’s LSU university that my husband is a die-hard graduate and fan of, plus all of Nebraska, Tennessee, Oklahoma and Arkansas for our family members who live there now.
– My most favorite state is my own Lone Star State of Texas, where i was born, raised, and still live. We currently live about 8-miles from where i grew up and i love it here. There’s no place like home! i say i will never leave, but depending on where our son —- and my future grand babies live —- i may well leave this great state.
– And…. we practice Domestic Discipline. We have only fully implemented it for the most recent 2 1/2 years, or just 10% of our married life, but it started in smaller ways about 5-years before that. i suppose like our dating life, it took awhile for us to fully embrace this way of life and we played-around with the ideas and ways of it for several years before. While i didn’t truly give David an ultimatum about DD, i did kinda do just that. When i officially decided, about 2 1/2 years ago that i just had-to-have this, i told him and we have been on this path ever since. i can’t wait til our 50th anniversary where i can say we have officially done this for “more than half” our married life.
While i say i wish we had started it sooner (and that’s so very true!), i’m not so sure we could’ve or would’ve appreciated it as much then as what we do now. i wonder if sometimes you have to go through some bad/hard times to truly appreciate the good times.
When you are in the heart of a valley, the only way to see anything is to look up. And in fact, you can’t see much else. To find a way out of the valley and to get to the top of the highest peak, is the goal at that point.
Our marriage hasn’t been without some true deep valley moments, i rather like to say we are currently in a mountain moment. When on the mountain, you can look back down the valley and see with clear eyes where you’ve been, but don’t currently stand. And yet, often times, when i look back at the valley i see it with fond memories of how far we have come. i don’t see all the pain, hurt, and achy-ness i felt when we were actually down in the valley. Or maybe i do see it, but i no longer am surrounded by it. i can appreciate it for what it was and the things we learned when we were standing smack dab in the middle of it.
And i know i never want to go back there if i can help it. (Although i am sure more valley-moments do indeed lie ahead again at some point in our future too!)
So yes, Domestic Discipline has saved my marriage from the depths of the valley. And we will always have this with us as we walk into even more of our older years together. i firmly believe THIS is how we are firmly to live, love, and breath, all the remaining days of our lives together in this world.
i love the Mountain Top view we currently share, and i pray the valley moments coming in the future will be endurable and few and far between.
Happy 20th anniversary to my loving Sir (and myself).
Oh and as to our gifts to one another….. i asked him probably 5’ish years ago if we could get a pool. He now said yes! Sooooo we will be installing a pool and hit tub over the coming months and will have lots of hot, humid, Texas-weather coming up soon to enjoy while skinny dipping in the pool! (That should provide some exciting blogable topics! 😉)
Hugs – and love and kisses to my husband of 20-years –