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212 – Rules … can be sexy but not always

i often refer to “the rules” that we have in a generic sense. And i guess maybe because we don’t have them written down, our “rules” can maybe be considered fairly generic. i think sometimes generic is better, as it can be applied easily overall. And yet, we do have some rules that are fairly specific too.

Even the Constitution of the USA is fairly generic … or maybe general is a better word. The ability to apply it across the board makes it easier to use, and less likely to have any reason to follow up or amend it later.

So what are my rules? i don’t remember actually ever writing about them, so i will do so now…… and if i did before, we’ll, you’ll have a repeat!

But first, i will say… the rules apply 24/7, 365. There’s NEVER a time when they don’t apply. There may be times where the consequences for breaking them need to be bent a bit, but they ALWAYS apply.

1) i am to use the word Sir. Regularly. Often. With intentional meaning too. It is his preferred term of endearment from me as it shows respect and honor. Generally it is a sign of elevation to the one it is being said to and a lowering of the one saying it, so it’s pretty appropriate too.

2) Speak with respect… i am to show respect at all times. Never to yell or insist i am “right” and he is (therefore by default) “wrong”. i can and do make my wishes or opinions known but i always know to do it with respect in my voice, actions, and thoughts.

3) deferral. At the end of the day, only one of us will win. And it won’t be me. And this is ok by me. Honestly, it is. By “not winning” i don’t mean that then i lose though either. i am allowed to speak my thoughts and opinions and i may well have influenced his ultimate decision, but he does have final authority and decision-making power. Over everything. On occasion, he may tell me to make the decision about something but it was even then that ultimately he decided to give over that decision for me to handle in that specific situation. So at all times, i defer to his authority.

4) dress sexy. This means i am to be clean shaven. ALL over. Especially on my puss. Completely devoid of all hair. At ALL times. It also means rarely a bra, on approved occasion panties, and overall fitted, sexy clothes whenever possible. i do not wear frumpy Grandma clothes hardly ever. i say “hardly” because there are times… when feeling ill, doing yard work, etc. but that often.

And yes, the clean shaven puss is required. i wouldn’t say David “inspects” me, but he wants it the way he wants it and expects to find it that way anytime he touches it too. At first, it made me feel childish. Seeing my pussy without hair the first time made me feel strange, awkward, and honestly embarrassed. i happen to think that was part of his intention.

While no hair is practical in more ways than one, having me see my childhood pussy made me feel smaller again. Smaller than him, allows him to be slightly elevated, which goes to the previous rules… he is in charge, he is to be respected with Sir, to be deferred to, and makes the decisions. This was a physical and visual part of it come to life.

5) always ask to take a soaking, warm, relaxing bath. i told you about this in the last post but i will mention a bit of the particulars once more here too. Because i don’t do well having fully access to my naked body, especially when my mind slows down and my body is still, that i am tempted beyond my abilities. So he requires that i ask permission ahead of doing so, sometimes it is denied but frequently approved. And he checks on me regularly while there to ensure i am being good the entire time.

6) maintenance spanking on Fridays. i have talked a lot about this in separate posts also. But in the interest of keeping all the rules listed in one place, it’s here too.

i won’t talk much here because it is well documented throughout my blog, but I’ve will suffice to say, “practice makes perfect.” This is for both David and i. David has learned perfectly just exactly how to spank. That sounds silly writing it, but it’s true. When we first started doing domestic discipline, he was not good at it. It’s hard to know how much is enough, too much, or too little. When he first started out, he was so afraid of abusing me and going too far, that he absolutely went too little, As well, i also found the point that i know it’s effective but not too much …. Or too little.

Maintenance reinforces what we want. Keeps it in the front of my mind of what could be (even worse yet), if the submissive mindset fails to operate as intended. In other words, if/when these rules are broken, a punishment will ensue.

7) my body belongs to him. i do not touch myself sexually for pleasure without his permission. Well, officially i am allowed to “touch” and even edge myself if i wish to, but i am NEVER to orgasm without express authority AND even the edging is supposed to be with permission or at least me telling him that’s what i am doing. And sometimes he orders edging, which of course, i comply.

i have to ask to orgasm every single time, even at his touch too.

Frequently this last rule is the one i struggle with the most, which is why i write a lot of sex-charged posts from me. Mainly i struggle with it because i have come to realize that giving him authority and power in all things in our house and especially over me is truly a turn on for me.

i find his power is super sexy. i have always been more attracted to confident men, and ones who take charge and get things done especially. But of course, in current times it seems men are taught that a strong confident authoritative man is too much. Men are taught that they are to treat their wife as their equal, so lots of men squash down that part of them that is the confident, decision-making part, for fear of backlash if-when they let that out. But for me, when David is especially in his Dominant space, i go to my sub space too…. In or out of the bedroom. But of course, it gets me ALL wet all the same too!

And in my sub space, i am so turned on and completely intoxicated as he exerts his authority over me that i just want to orgasm right then and there on the spot. And when i need to touch myself (or try too hard to get him to touch me), i usually become focused on achieving that O a little too much, which of course, lands me in trouble where consequences ensue…. Which leads me to post here either about the sexual charge OR the punishment OR both!

My point though is that Domestic Discipline (DD) isn’t especially or necessarily about sex. It’s more about authority and control, but it often has a sexual-component to it too.

And specifically, as of late, i have now completed 4-consecutive nights of sleeping up close and snuggled in with Glory. (i do think that name fits.)

For me, wanting to encourage my Husband to fully take charge AND as i think about dressing sexy for him, i think the repressed inner-sexy-slut girl yearns to be let out. (Yes, women have been taught to be a “good girl” we are to be sexually chaste, but truly, we should be taught to let it out… especially for and with our husbands!).

So when David calls me his Good Girl that inner sexy-self does come out, and it all becomes so much about sex that it seems to be more of my focus.

AND LASTLY…. i’m not entirely sure if i would call this a “rule,” but maybe….

8-maybe-a-rule) if and when the rules are broken, to expect… and accept… the punishment that results. Frequently the punishment is a VERY-hard, make-me-regret-my-actions spanking. But it doesn’t have to be and isn’t always that either as the punishment can and often does reflect the transgression. (So is this a rule, or more of just what to expect when the rules are not followed!?)

i can’t think of any other rules, it if i have an “oh yah, i forgot…” moment, i’ll update this post.

So speaking of inner sexy-slut-GOOD-submissive-wife-girl… i need to go be and do all that now….. be a submissive wife …. While asking for the key to Glory to be removed in order to start my day! (For the record, officially Glory could stay on, as it’s actually able. But i really don’t like going to the bathroom and soiling her or me anymore than necessary either…. Yah, now i’m edging back toward chastity belt discussions… i’ll stop now. But just for now. 😉).

(How’s that for a Non-Glory filled post? Yah, ok… failed. Oh well. At least it wasn’t “just” about her either!)

Hugs,

Marie

211 – The Honor System

i am well aware that you are probably getting tired of hearing about me and my chastity belt. But, it’s a very real source of my frustration right now and it’s the ONLY thing i seem to focus on, which means it’s the only thing i want to talk about too!

So bear with me…. i actually have a few other posts almost ready to publish, as i frequently start them whenever inspiration hits. Of course, until it’s done, i don’t hit “publish” for you to see. And right now, i’m not able to concentrate long enough on any of them to actually finish those for you to see. So… you are seeing “Me and My BFF Chastity” now instead.

Because i am SO close to my belt now .. physically and mentally … i have actually been trying to think of a good name for her. i mean, saying, “my chastity belt” is a mouth full and seems rather disconnected. i think i should adopt a more personal acceptance with her and become better friends with her. She does have my best interest at heart: staying out of trouble with Sir!

To date, no good names have come to mind. Suggestions?

As i was nearing bedtime, i asked Sir if i could go soak in a warm bath. i ALWAYS have to ask for this luxury. That’s been a rule for a long time now because as i lay flat, naked, relaxing in the water, i lose all will power. ALWAYS have and probably ALWAYS will!

i lie there floating and stare down at my sex. i watch as the water rises up between my legs and touches my pussy, to eventually rise up further and top over my boobs.

i lie there playing games with myself and the water. As the tub is filling, i move up and down to see if i can make the water touch my clit sooner than it already will as the added movement of the water creates a natural stimulation there and i watch as my clit swells.

Then my tits get cold, waiting for the water to rise enough to warm them, so i tickle my nipples until they protrude, generating more natural blood flow there too.

This is when i tell myself to STOP touching. And i usually do, but not always. Once as i was NOT stopping, Sir walked in on me where he moved with such stealth that i didn’t hear him. So i didn’t stop even in his presence. And THAT is why i have to ask permission to soak in the tub every-single-time now.

While it wasn’t specifically said then, but we both know it is true, Sir now doesn’t trust me to take baths without his knowledge and he usually decides to randomly walk in when I am in the tub to “check” on me. Granted, i could probably rub out an Orgasm in between his visits, but a ruined one would be worse than not even trying, and he mixes it up just enough that i can never be sure. So i am kept in check.

Soooooo that’s the back story that you needed for me to tell you about today’s events……..

i had sore muscles and i wanted to relax my mind too while soaking in an epsom salt bath before heading to bed. So i asked permission and it was granted. This time, as i stared down the length of my body as the water covered it, i was filled with emotions. It was RIGHT there! I COULD TOUCH IT IF I WANTED TO. BUT i didn’t! i was a good girl! I was happy to be strong in mind… and frustrated all the same!

In an attempt to NOT tempt myself anymore than i could stand, i got out and dried off sooner than usual. But the towel between my legs felt SO soft. As it dragged across my clit, i was keenly aware of how it felt THERE and decided to rub it extra dry… for just a second. Literally a second. Because i realized any more and i’d not stop there either!

i was SO proud of myself! Self control for the win! This was a GOOD night!

And i got into bed. i was reading as David came in where i had the covers to my waist covering my lower half and exposing only the top half. He squeezed my nipple and kissed me. THAT was TOO much. i lowered the covers and exposed myself to him. (i didn’t touch….)

He asked me, “what are you doing?”

“Allowing you access Sir.”

“Why? Where is the chastity? You KNOW nothing is going to happen. Nothing happened in the tub that you need to make me aware of right now, did it??” is what he asked as his fingers set down on my clit and started to move.

i didn’t even have a chance to respond when he stuck a finger deep inside my puss as his thumb continued rubbing my clit. OMG ….. the stars were aligned, i arched my back, and was ready to ask permission to cum (another rule)…. All just THAT fast!

i was on THE EDGE.

And Sir knew it. He saw the tell tale signs. He stopped.

His finger immediately pulled out. He slapped down once on my clit hard enough to make its point clear! Bringing me back to my reality in such immediacy that i continued to see stars, but they weren’t the bright and brilliant kind that i wanted and liked!

That’s when he said, “you know, had you not opened your legs I never would’ve known. I was going to let you be on the Honor System tonight and whether you had on chastity or not, I was going to trust you to do the right thing. But now, I don’t think that’s a good thing at all. Needy girls need to be kept from their own self destructive ways. Now go put on the belt. And bring me the key.”

And that’s how the Third Night with my new BFF, ever-so-close-to me started with my Needs-A-Better-Name chastity belt.

As i locked Glory tight into her place, (Ohhh i like the name Glory. Maybe that’s her name now! That just came to me. What do you think? Make a better suggestion?)….. i then walked to David where he laid in our bed with his palm up waiting for the key to be placed there.

And i climbed into my side of the bed and prepared myself for another long night with Glory. She’s comfortable and not a problem to sleep in, physically. Mentally… another thing altogether!

And i drifted off to sleep with Glory snuggly locked up against my skin and protecting my sex.

In the middle of the night, i woke up, unable to get back to sleep. i thought about Glory (name is starting to ring a bell and stick!) and reached down to feel her against me. i felt just how close she was, how tight, how i can’t escape if i even wanted to, at least not without the key.

My hand ran the length of her between my legs. And i felt aroused. REALLY aroused. And my mind played tricks on me…. i heard myself thinking, “you could probably get a finger or two inside the edge and to your clit. You COULD do this!”

And i tried. Hard. i became intent on this! i WANTED this! And if i was going to work THIS hard to get past my guardian angel Glory, i deserved this! But… i could stop. Anytime i wanted to. And i would. (Right??)

My clit was swelling. i felt it pressing against the metal. i felt it desirous of my touch.

i suddenly became VERY intent on casting aside my BFF and going for the touch. i would stop anytime i needed to. i wouldn’t actually get an O. i just needed to get past Glory and to touch her enough to get a little second of happiness.

But.

Glory is a stronger BFF than even i knew. With a sucked in stomach and (basically) holding my breath, i found i could press a single finger between her steel and my body. But with a swollen clit, Glory was hanging on to my clit tighter than i would’ve thought.

My finger became caught in the folds of my puss and the steel, and then i had to take a breath expanding my stomach. That made Glory pinch my finger. To the point, i pulled it out. And stopped. In complete frustration.

I NEVER DID TOUCH MY CLIT. AT ALL!

i could chose to hate Glory for being on Sir’s side. Or i could chose to thank her for keeping me honest. i chose thankfulness. (It is the month to be THANKFUL.. even in the month of NO-vember!)

So now i still don’t have a clear idea of how long me and Glory will be BFF’s at night… but what i am sure of is, if she wasn’t my BFF before, i am POSITIVE she is now.

And David will NOT trust me to be on the HONOR SYSTEM again.

Here’s to a long and THANKFUL month of me and Glory.

Hugs,

Marie

210 – The BIG O. Under lock and key.

i am feeling a little depressed tonight. David is near going to sleep. And i found myself thinking he needed to turn out the lights already so i could put my hand down under the covers and masturbate….

All the way to orgasm!

i was fully intending to do so. And i didn’t give a flying rat’s ass about NO-vember. It’s dumb. It was self imposed. He only started it because of me saying it, and it is … well….. VERY dumb.

i found myself thinking, “i am a good person, i deserve to be able to touch myself. This is MY body. i was so stupid to want to be a submissive wife. If i were instead a “normal” wife, i’d be able to do whatever the FUCK i wanted to!”

i continued, “i could FUCK myself anytime i wanted with anything i wanted… a dildo, a vibrator, another live-man- cock, hell even a wooden spoon from the kitchen if i wanted to!”

And i continued …… with how stupid i am to even come up with the idea of NO-vember in the first place. i mean, who in their right mind says, “hey, i don’t want to orgasm or have sexual highs for an entire 30-fucking days?!?”

W-H-Y can’t i be “normal”? W-H-Y can’t vanilla sex and being my husband’s equal be enough for me?! WTF was i thinking becoming a submissive wife who can’t even orgasm on her own time??

And as i lay beside him thinking all these things, OF MY OWN DOING, i got up, went to the closet, and locked myself up in my chastity belt. i decided i needed chastity. And i will sleep in it once more.

This is the second night in a row now. All these thoughts came just the SECOND night of wearing the chastity belt to sleep. But it wasn’t the belt that was causing my temper tantrum… it’s the elusive O that i am chasing and unable to have.

CHASTITY…. THIS is what i ultimately need. Whether i belong to David or not, of which i DO (!!) self control seems to be beyond me. i am at one week of self-imposed (and being enforced by David) “NO ORGASM,” and i am having withdrawals. i am an addict wanting my drug of choice: the big natural high of a big O!

i am addicted to sex and to orgasms specifically. i do indeed get “High” with the sexual release of the O. The very minute i come, that natural release of hormones brings me peace and happiness. i feel tension subside. i feel a spreading of warmth throughout my body as my blood rushes around inside me. Or said another way….. a “drug addict high”. And this drug is so much better than any other because it is: 1) natural, 2) legal, 3) FREE! and 4) the biggest of all: available ANY TIME.

And yet…. It’s NOT. Not available any time. Not to me anyway. Because i gave up my rights to the big O and the owner of them says NO. i am not allowed to play with HIS toys… or chase the Big O.

i am at the place where when someone goes to rehab, (at least in the movies), they are desperate to do whatever it takes to get that drug they think they must have! They start begging for it. They plead. They are strung out and look terrible, and they don’t care. As the movie watcher, we know that drug they crave is killing them and they need to get over it already. Yet… they don’t see it that way, at least not yet.

Well here i am ….…. “Hello, my name is Marie and i am an O addict!”

But having orgasms, as much as i want anyway, isn’t good for me. It’s not mine. i gave it up a long time ago. Willingly. To my Sir. And when i DO get to climax, it should be appreciated and loved, and cherished… both the O itself AND my Sir for wanting me to feel it with him too.

i shouldn’t be able to take it back any time i want, just because i want it. i am not a little kid that gets to throw a temper tantrum and get my way.

And being a submissive wife is what i also know is good for me. And him. And our entire family! As i have said before numerous times, our relationship is so much stronger when we are doing our D/s thing. We fight way less (and btw… usually November is our worst month of the year for our relationship where we tend to fight more than ever. Not this year though!)

And vanilla sex is … well… vanilla. Boring. And …. Allowing my husband to lead my family, including me (AND for him to OWN my SEX) is a choice that matters. THIS is good for me.

So. i put on the belt of my own volition. And i handed him the key.

As i did so, i asked Sir, “do you like this look?”

The “look” being that i am wearing exactly two things: 1) my collar, and 2) my chastity belt. Nothing else.

He said, “no, I do not. I wish you had more self control. But now at least we both know you can enjoy your porn without orgasm tonight again.”

i wanted to cry. Not sure if it’s because he’s right or because i didn’t want him to be right.

So even as i sit and type to you, i am saddened that i am NOT able to have a natural self control, but that i am smart enough to know…. Chastity is what i ultimately need. And while i am not exactly pleasing to my Sir at this exact moment, he knows that i need the chastity belt too.

Knowing that i do NOT need to succumb to my sexual appetite and expelling the desire to orgasm. Is what i need. And abstaining from Orgasm for 30-days is a good thing! i shouldn’t be so addicted to anything, including my drug of choice…. My own sexual body parts.. or more accurately, that feeling if the HIGH that i get from my body parts!

But i won’t lie…. my tits are beautiful as i look past them to type to you. And my clit is feeling every movement of my iPad as it rests on my belly (and the belt) for me to type out this message. No joke, my clit is SO sensitive right now, it is feeling every single tap on the screen as it moves the pad just enough that it is causing my clit to swell. i can feel my clit pressing against the metal and i am becoming incredibly aroused! And ultimately my clit still thinks i am stupid as it presses harder and harder against the metal bars it is held underneath. And my pussy is also begging for release.. from chastity AND from this NO-orgasm prison sentence it is under.

But ultimately, maybe i do have “just enough” self control too as my mind says “NO! Be strong!” Of course, now as i sit in chastity, i really have no choice in the matter. But did i even really have a choice before???

Tell me i am not stupid, or crazy, or … well… i don’t know. Maybe i am those things and you can’t. i get it.

Just to be clear…. i am not upset i am wearing a belt to sleep in. In fact, i am grateful it’s here and on. It has given me a bit of mental reprieve to have this O taken further away from my literal grasp! Because it’s just an arm’s length away, but now, underneath lock and key it’s in its place. And that gives me mental relief to be able to stay the course and still not capture the O that i so desperately feel i need!

As i go to sleep… again in chastity…. Just know i give you all my many hugs… but not my O, because even i do not own that. i do not even have the key……

And yes, NORA, this is me and my chastity belt.

Hugs,

Marie

209 – Happiness is a warm (chastity) blanket

i really don’t know that i can explain my fascination with chastity but i am going to try…..

When i wear my belt, it gives me comfort. Kind of like a security blanket. It makes me happy. It makes me crave more of it.

We put things we want to keep under lock and key. Our car, house, valuables in a safe, are all locked up when not in use. So when i wear a chastity belt, it is a tangible, visible, and especially physical reminder that my pussy is not mine at all. And it’s valuable enough to want to lock it up, and to be kept safe, until it’s use it needed or required.

i especially think it is super submissive of me to lock myself in it (consent), and to hand over the key willingly (control) to Sir.

i actually think it looks super sexy when it’s on too. i really like watching around the house with nothing on except the belt. It is a very visible reminder that what is locked up is not mine.

** Side note: i have been chatting online with two possible additional Doms . i have told you before that David gives his consent for me to find another Dom. In fact, i think to some degree he would like that very much so that he wouldn’t have to always be the enforcer and he would also get a break/relax while I am still held accountable. Any who, if/when i actually go meet either of them in person, i intend to ask David to allow me to wear the chastity belt. i do NOT want to be tempted to meet and fuck on the same day. … and that’s expansion for another day’s post… back to today…

Today i found a blog for the first time ever, of a chastity belt “armor” daily wearer. Until she stopped. Wendy Warrior wore chastity regularly, even did 30-day challenges to stay locked the ENTIRE time, and blogged about it.

i truly hate it that i only just found her, as her most recent/last post was to tell her readers she’s done with armor. No longer fascinated or desirous of it. i get it. We grow older and wiser and our interests change. None the less, i enjoyed reading her entire blog from the beginning to the end.

What i learned was that: 1) she mostly wore chastity overnight. Some people put on PJ’s, she put on armor. 2) she challenged herself to wear it 30-consecutive- days with no (or very extremely limited) breaks. 3) she did the challenge FOUR different times with four different belts with critiques of them along the way.

For most people, it would likely cause you to turn up your nose, or raise your eyebrows, ask “WHY” or maybe even literally run in the opposite direction! Not me. i am drawn closer to it! i am in awe of Wendy, but more enamored even yet of chastity! It inspired me even more. And i want more of it.

While i didn’t provide the specific site to David (i seriously don’t think he’d care to go read it anyways!), i did tell him about it.

By the way, he’s not entirely sure he understands my extreme interest in chastity either. But he supports me and wants me to be happy and if locking up my parts so i can’t touch them while giving him the key, so he can if he wants to, then he’s on board.

He’s so much on board that he has made a declaration now that i should start sleeping in chastity. And nothing else.

He’s known (for a long time!) that i am most turned on and “needy” for Sex just before sleep and shortly after waking up. i rarely sleep naked, and usually wear a shirt/shorts (or pants in the winter) combo because it (somewhat) limits my access and distracts me from the interest of playing with my sex. That’s apparently about to change!

Before now…. When we go to sleep, while we get in bed together we both read for a bit, and then David tends to be the one to actually fall asleep first. He knows i like to read (sex) blogs and erotica, and as i do, i tend to masturbate right beside him. Sometimes with permission, but admittedly sometimes without. (Not cool, but… yah know!).

And unfortunately, i must admit the truth to you…. i have had orgasms this way too. Yes, some with permission when he was awake, but some without. And even less pleasing, more shameful, i haven’t always told him the next day.

And then there’s the times that as i wake up, i am surprised to find my hand rubbing on my clit. It’s a half-awake effort, so i know i’ve never seriously done anything in my sleepiness. But….. i have learned i am quite aroused in the mornings and frequently at night as well.

After i told him about this girl and how she sleeps in chastity, he feels that would be good for me too.

Starting tonight, i am to sleep naked save wearing the chastity belt. i will put it on before he goes to sleep, and hand him the key so that i am not allowed to just escape ( or masturbate) any ole time i feel like it before sleep. And well, by default, then i will also be required to ask him to release me in the mornings. And even more by default, i won’t be allowed to play with myself with or without an orgasm.

i am excited about this. Today. But excitement is easy now as i am just thinking about it. But then as it goes on tonight …. And becomes my new reality…. by tomorrow …. Or the next day…. Or THE NEXT DAY….. i wonder how excited or good i’ll feel about it then. Maybe not so much.

It will be interesting to see if my fondness grows or dissipates. i wonder if i will (really) love it or come to hate it.

Only time will tell. i will keep you posted.

Btw – i have typically worn the belt during the day in/out of the house. While i have slept in it one other time, it hasn’t happened but once to date. That happened when i wore the belt a full 24-hours without being allowed release. And i loved it. Sleeping in it was of no major consequence and was no problem at all. While the metal is (obviously) rigid and unforgiving, when i turn over it did cause me to wake from my sleep, but like everything i suspect i will get used to it too and be more able to sleep right through those moments.

Honestly, wearing it at night seems more logical as a purposeful activity anyway. i mean, seriously, other than as a tangible reminder all day long, it’s not like i typically am going to be at work and rub one out at my desk. Nor in the car driving. Or shopping at the grocery store. Or any other public outing type place. (Of course, as mentioned above, if i were to actually go meet some other potential lover, i do think that would be a good time to wear it out. Until said person is vetted by myself, and especially approved by Sir, unnecessary distractions are…well… unnecessary!)

But at night, when my mind is less crowded with daily life, i read my smut, and get aroused…. THAT is the time that access needs to be limited. THAT is the time that i need to be reminded not to touch, and where it is SO easy to do so. THAT is the time that MY temptations need to be limited! So wearing it at night is the most logical for me to wear it, if we want to use it for purpose. Otherwise, daily wear is a-ok and sexually arousing too, but not exactly purposeful either.

In case you are wondering, i have NO idea how long this will last. i don’t know if this is a “for tonight only” or “until NO-vember is complete” or “why it’s forever of course!” i didn’t ask. Time will tell me what i need to know and the answer doesn’t matter as i’d do as instructed no matter what anyway. Hell, i may ask him if i can wear it more going forward too… which i can see as the most probable answer actually.

And… i think i’m gonna love it. i will keep you posted…..

i do think one day, if i do continue to love it, i’d like to work up to and challenge myself also to that 30-day challenge. (But if i get that far, i’m buying a top notch heavy duty $$$ one too! Like these MY-STEEL or maybe these FANCY STEEL. 🥰🥰🥰) .

UPDATE: i didn’t even have a chance to post this yet, and i find myself locked up. David and i had an amazing date night where i drank most of a bottle of wine all by myself. i got drunk. David approved.

When i get drunk, i get VERY turned on and i flirt heavily. i was (literally) humping David’s leg, hand, and on top of his pants … he didn’t allow me to actually have penetration. i heard him make statements like, “NO orgasm for you!” And “You better stop!” And “if you orgasm, you WILL regret it!” Admittedly, i was pushing the EDGE of acceptable. Not entirely sure WHY i did that. Ok, that’s a lie. i do know why. i was drunk, fucking hair you, REALLY wanting an Orgasm, and i was hoping if i got him aroused enough too he’d consent. i also think i may have wanted to test him. AND did i mention…. i really wanted to orgasm!

He indulged me for a bit, let me suck his cock, kiss his lips, and he fingered my pussy for a hot second (it was quite literally a SECOND. Enough for me to think, “oh hell yah, i have him turned on and he’s gonna let me orgasm.” And it was over! NOT long! And that’s when he said, “Now. Go. Get yourself ready for bed.”

Because he had already told me WAY earlier in the day i would now sleep in chastity, i KNEW when he said “get ready for bed,” those words were interchangeable for, “Now go get yourself locked up.”

As much as i didn’t want to stop trying to seduce him, i went and put on the belt. By the time i returned, he was already reading in our bed. He didn’t even look up but knowing my presence was near, he held up the palm of his hand.

i wasn’t dumb, i knew i had to hand him the key. As i placed it in his hand, his fingers curled up around it and slid his hand under the covers.

As i saw his hand disappear under cover, i asked what he was doing with his hand/key. He said,”don’t worry about it.” Which may as well have been code for, “it’s none of your business!”

After which, he said, “now go lay down and get ready for sleep.”

i won’t lie… it was at this moment that my alcohol high, along with my sexual attempts to get an O high m came to a screeching halt. Back to reality. NO-vember is still in full effect! And he was done indulging me.

We always read before sleeping. And that’s what he did, like every other night. Just prior to actually turning out the light to sleep, he asked me, “do you need the key?”

Because we’ve been together so long, i knew what that meant too. He meant, “Are you ok? “ and “Will you be ok?” To which i responded, “only if i can orgasm. Otherwise, I am good to have you keep it Sir.”

That’s when he turned out the light, and in the dark, i heard the words, “Ok, sleep well my love… MY good girl.”

And i said, “you too Sir.”

So.

Here i am.

Locked up. And he is sleeping beside me. And i find myself thinking of NOTHING other than: I WANT TO ORGASM! And yet, it ain’t gonna happen!

And while i truly DO want it that BAD, i won’t lie…. i’d be severely disappointed had he NOT made me put on the chastity belt AND give him the key AND denied me what i really want. He made statements that he was on board with NO-vember and that this is how i would sleep now…. And as i have mentioned before, i love it when he’s consistent and true to his word! So while i am disappointed i was not able to get what i wanted (orgasm), i did get what was promised (NO-vember and chastity belt and that makes me happy.

i did ask him before we officially stopped talking for the night if this would be the “new norm or just occasionally or just until the end of NO -vember.” His response, “I haven’t decided yet. Maybe it will be forever and only when i want to fuck you will i allow you to be unlocked!”

While we both know that’s not likely or maybe even possible (??), the idea of only being allowed out to be used for his pleasure is seriously arousing for me too!

What i do know: he’s serious about NO-vember. Dec 1 can’t get here fast enough!! Will he at least allow me to orgasm once on my birthday?? i turn 50 on Thanksgiving… 5-days before month end! And if he does, will the “month” start all over again?! i will have to pray about this… yes, i will literally be praying!”

So like Linus with his blue happiness blanket, i have a silver metal chastity belt happiness blanket that i too sleep with all snuggled up against me tightly. i love my blanket and the happiness it brings.

Hugs,

Marie

208 – Spanked again!

So yep… you were right NORA. i didn’t make the 24- hour goal. i did make it further than ever before. But alas, the staying power wasn’t sustained all the way to the finish line either.

i previously wrote about the challenge Sir issued…. Fucked or Spanked.

i had an anal plug inserted at 6:30a and the challenge was to keep it 8n my ass all the way to 6:30a the next day. It didn’t happen.

My (plutonic) girlfriend and i went to dinner, followed by a theater play together. And the seats were OH SO HARD! At intermission, i just couldn’t keep the anal plug in. It was a bit of a burning sensation. And it just hurt. That’s the best way to describe how my ass was feeling.

i thought about it a lot during the first act. i debated whether to try to keep it in longer or not. In the end, i made a choice. All by myself and ultimately without permission but i still knew David would be ok with it too.

At intermission, i made the choice to take it out. i went to the bathroom and pulled it out. After wrapping it in paper, i stuffed it in my purse and went to enjoy the second act. And just like that, i was much happier without pain on those very hard seats!

By the time i arrived home, David was sound asleep. In the morning, we were up at just about the same time where i greeted him with a “Good Morning Sir”,” where his return response was, “is it still in?”

“No Sir. It came out at intermission.”

“So you wore it about 15 hours! That’s the record for longest consecutive time wearing an anal plug yet! Very impressive.”

i smiled and responded with, “Thank you Sir.”

To which he then added, “But of course, that wasn’t the deal. Was it?”

“No Sir”

“So you need to Assume The Position. Don’t you?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Y-E-S….. what??”

“Yes SIR.”

“So let’s go ahead and start this day off right. Assume the position now.”

NOW. Ugh. At least it’s not a discipline spank, but a maintenance (weekly) one. that’s something.

Since i slept naked, it was easy to get into position quickly. we recently changed up the position. Instead of standing on the side of the bed, bent over at the waist and only having the top half of me on the bed, now i am entire,y on the bed. i put two pillows underneath my hips to raise my ass up more into the air, then put my shoulder on the bed and my hand/arms down on the bed and running between my legs.

What this adjusted and new position does is makes it MUCH harder for me to move around. In the old position, while i’m not supposed to move at all, i tended to pop up my head which causes my butt to move out of position too. Add to that, sometimes i even danced around for a minute when the intensity of the spanking became too much.

NOW… while i can lift up, it is a bigger challenge to do that when my arms are running down between my legs, and I most definitely am not able to dance and move around.

MUCH more effective positioning, where i feel the FULL intensity of the spanking. Every single swat hits it’s mark every single time!

So given that, i wasn’t looking forward to maintenance by ANY stretch of my imagination. But i assumed the (new) position willingly and immediately.

Before i was even fully in position, David had already retrieved the paddle and hit my bottom with it twice. That’s never happened. He always waits for me to be in position, and frequently lets me sit there thinking about it all for as much as 10-minutes or so. Not today.

He was swift! i immediately heard and felt the oh-so-familiar….. Smack, smack, smack, smack. Fast and furious. He smacked my ass with intention too!

He did about 10-15 total. i don’t know the exact number. They were fast and fell like rain in immediate succession.

i never cry tears with maintenance spankings, but i won’t lie that these spankings typically bring me right to the edge of it where the tears well up and i become aware that, “if he continues, i will be in tears soon.”

And that’s when he stopped. My ass was super red, my eyes were starting to feel blurred, and yet, once again the tears didn’t fall.

NOW this is the part that was especially different. Usually at this point, i feel Sir’s hand between my legs, or sometimes he drops his pants and i feel his cock. And he ALWAYS rewards my acceptable of maintenance spankings with the big O! Not today. Not during NO-vember. Instead, he sat me upright, kissed me, tweaked my nipples with each hand and then slapped my ass and said, “Good girl. Time for getting dressed to face the day.”

He didn’t mention or speak of the missed orgasm, nor did i. There was no reason or purpose. He knew that i knew why. He also knew that even if it weren’t NO-vember, he’s still always in control and orgasms are always at his discretion. So he could’ve easily just decided “not today” anyway. And it really wasn’t my place to ask. But even “IF” it were my place and even IF I had asked, i KNEW the answer would be NO!

So i dressed for the day and that was that.

My ass was super red and stung for a couple of hours, but David has never put any permanent marks on me and only rarely has the temporary marks lasted more than a couple of hours. Today was no different.

But …l no “extra” equipment on board today either. No plugs, dildos, belts. Just me, unless of course you count my Collar. It was by choice i wore it but i suppose that is “extra” too.

i’ll talk about my collar soon.

Until then…

Hugs,

Marie