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104 – Complete work of fiction. #1

Written by Marie on . Posted in Fiction. No Comments on 104 – Complete work of fiction. #1

………But i do hope that it has a chance of becoming a reality!

My last post was about a commitment to Exercise and (hopefully) losing weight. And right after i hit “publish,” i started speculating about the idea of “why a punishment for not doing good? Why not a reward for doing right?”

So that got me thinking, “Would a reward be better than a punishment? And if so, what would be a good (enough) reward that would incentivize me to stick with it the long-haul?”

That’s when i decided BOTH would be appropriate. In the short-term = punishment. In the long-term = reward.

And since the long-term is intended to end on/about my 50th birthday, what would i want as a birthday present AND reward for embracing Exercise with gusto?!?!

That’s when it hit me… to fulfill my ultimate fantasy…… so the rest of this is (mostly) from Sir’s perspective (you will know the difference!) and what i’d want him to do to reward me……… (gets long, but i want to get the whole thing on paper the way i see it in my head!)

LEADING ALL THE WAY TO MY BIRTHDAY….

I was impressed at how well she’s stuck to the goals of exercise and weight loss. Anytime she’s set her mind to something, she usually accomplishes it. But of course in this case, it hasn’t hurt that I have also punished her (severely) along the way to ensure she stays the right course too! It hasn’t required too many severe punishments for her to realize I was indeed serous about helping her reach this goal!

Don’t misunderstand, I’ve always loved her… no matter what she weighed or how in shape she was (or was not). And my love won’t change! But this was her idea and I said I’d help her to achieve it ….. so I have! I won’t deny she looks hotter than ever now with less weight and more muscle, but as I said before, I’ve always loved her no matter what.

She also knows I’ve been planning a big surprise reward birthday party for her to celebrate her 50th in style. I haven’t really given her too much information for almost 13-months now, except to tease her with hints. But as it gets closer, I’ve told her more and more. Today I said, “so, it’s almost your birthday and you are on track to meet your goals. I have the perfect birthday present for you!”

With a roll of the eyes, she said, “Yes, i know. You’ve been teasing me for months now!”

I didn’t like her tone so I reminded her to watch how she spoke and rolled her eyes at me! And then I continued, “Because our son isn’t going home and your birthday falls ON Thanksgiving….. I’ve decided that YOU will be what we feast upon!”

She looked at me completely confused and maybe if I read her right, a little bit of fear.

I answered her unspoken questions, “Yes! YOU will be our main course for the day! Oh we will make sure you eat as well, but honestly, that will be the least of your concerns that day!”

She just looked at me with inquisition and said, “WE Sir???”

“Yes, WE!”

I continued, “For several months now, I’ve been interviewing men of all ages, sizes, shapes, and colors. And I’ve captured the right mix of each who will be satisfied by YOU on that day. And of course, you’ll also be SO happy because it will indeed be a birthday you’ll NEVER forgot!”

Marie asked, “How many men Sir?”

I told her, “well, I can’t give away ALL the surprises! But just know, you’ll spend most of that day naked, being used, testing your submissiveness and of course also your new strength and endurance!”

TO BE CONTINUED……..

OKAY friends …. i decided to end this right here. i’ll post #2 and maybe even #3 soon…. but you’ll have to be patient and wait. ❤️

And as an update on the exercise front….. i “only” got to 5,500 steps yesterday and that was because i went for a 2-mile walk. Today, i have already hit 10,000 steps and the day isn’t over…. also with a 2-mile walk as well.

i did go buy new walking shoes though because the bottom of my feet already feel like they are rubbed a bit raw (like trying to form a blister …. on the bottom!).

As we were going to bed last night, David said, “Since it is Day 1, you had a decent start. But starting tomorrow (now “today”) you need to get to 10,000 steps or I will take action. When i asked for clarity what might the “action” be, he said, “I think I’ll ask you what is the step count sometime close’ish to bedtime, and if you haven’t reach the 10k, then you’ll have exactly 2-minutes to get your ass in the car.”

i looked with clear confusion on my face and said, “the car?”

He said, “Yes. And depending on how far off the step count you are will depend on how far away I drive. And when I stop, you’ll get it and walk home. I’ll stay closer enough to ensure you are walking home and safe, but far enough away that you won’t be able to get in the car either. You might not even see me at all. Hopefully I don’t have to use this ‘encouragement’ too often.”

When i asked of it would be “just enough” to get over the 10k steps and he laughed and said, “oh no! Most definitely farther. It will make you wish you’d just gotten the 10k and been done!”

Then i asked, “what if i’m not able to get myself in the car in 2-minutes…. like maybe i am not dressed, shoes, or move quick enough?”

And he had raised eyebrows when responding with, “do you really want to go there with this line of questioning??”

“No Sir.”

“I didn’t think so!”

So i either walk 10k steps on my own…. or a WHOLE lot more with “help”. i did indeed ask for severe and harsh punishment…. and i have already said that Me and Exercise are NOT BFF’s……. yet!

Hugs!

Marie

100 – Stress: N-O-T my thing…

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 100 – Stress: N-O-T my thing…

This week has been so annoying and stressful. i started this post about 4-days ago, and now i an finishing it while on VACATION and relaxing.

It’s always interesting to me when i write something (and don’t post immediately) how when i come back to it, something things have changed…. namely…. my perspective.

When in the midst of a situation(s), frequently it can seem overwhelming and (almost) insurmountable. And even just a mere day later, it isn’t as big of a deal anymore. Oh, a lot of times the “thing” is still going on, but my reaction to it can often be completely different.

And over the years i have learned that when i am stressed and IN the moment…. i struggle to be submissive!

It’s not that i don’t want to be submissive, it’s that i want things to change, improve, drive toward conclusion. And in the middle of it, being submissive seems passive. It feels like i am not “doing” anything to change the result or the answer or the outcome to just …..(be submissive) …… and wait.

Let me just give you some real-life examples of what happened this week… in the moment and the next day…..

EXAMPLE 1:

Big Bang is still problematic! Over 60-days now past the accident, and we still don’t have the completely-totaled-car done and gone. While i was not deemed the “at fault” party in an accident where i was the middle of a 3-car pileup, we had to get our own insurance involved. If it weren’t for them, i still wouldn’t have a new vehicle!

Here’s the players that effected me this week:

A) insurance 1 (the girl at the front who police said WAS at fault),

B) insurance 2 (the guy at the back who slammed into me, causing me to slam into girl at front,

C) insurance 3 (our own insurance),

D) AND insurance 4 (our own GAP insurance). FYI: i has GAP on my vehicle and if you aren’t familiar with GAP – it “fills in the gap” between all the other insurances if/when more is owed than they pay).

So this week i got a call from our insurance (#3) saying insurance 2 is filing a “medical claim” against all other people involved, including us (He was walking and talking at the scene withOUT issue), which upon notice having been given to insurance 1, they are now referring this over to a lawyer on their part. AND because of the “open issues” now too, insurance 3 won’t pay off the loan of the vehicle, causing insurance 4 (GAP) to not be able to do their part, causing me to have excess debt on my credit now!

OKAY – In the moment and the day of …….i went home… told Sir alllllll about it.

And (unfortunately) NOT in a respectful tone, so when i was done, i heard the words, “Do we need to go change your attitude?”

Me: “NO! Spanking my ass won’t make all this better!”

Sir: “oh yes, yes it will!”

[INSERT spanking story and my ass turned red right here!]

The next day…… after i calmed down and had a sore rear end, i realized…. there’s nothing i can DO to make this better than talk to the insurance agents, let them sort it all out…. and wait. So by NOT being submissive, all i achieved was a sore ass! My goal of “doing” something amounted to getting naked, bending over, and accepting punishment.

EXAMPLE 2:

So i started to write a bunch of other examples…. Son’s school, A situation at work, ok so several things at work, and an event planned for our vacation…… but …….

The details don’t really matter.

As i typed away all the details about all my week’s wrongs plus all my efforts to “fix” things… i realized there’s ONE thing they ALL have in common:

i had NO (ultimate) ability to change the outcome!

Oh, yes certainly i do agree, i had some ability… the ability to set things in motion…. call the school and wait for them to take action, talk to employees and set them in action, and to call up the event coordinator and set them in motion too…….

But ultimately….. ALL i had control of was how i responded to the situation!

And none of my actions really drove anything to conclusion, fixed the problem, or changed much of anything.

What DID change was my attitude about it.

The DAY AFTER…. i realized that when i depart from being my submissive-self, ALL that happens is that i cause strife between me and David!

i have to remember this the next time i have a super hard and stressful weeks!

And now… we are onto V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!!!

Hugs,

Marie

97 – Reverse Reverse Psychology

Written by Marie on . Posted in Chastity Belt, Submission. No Comments on 97 – Reverse Reverse Psychology

So David doesn’t read too many of my blog posts, but on occasion, he does indeed do just that.

And he read the last one about Reverse Psychology during the daytime hours when we were both at work. Afterward, he then texted me and said, “So the whole reason you want to be in chastity is because you will succumb to temptation and you consider yourself weak?”

i responded with, “Yes Sir. Plus it would then keep me being a good girl.”

He texted back, “you should be a good girl without instruments or assistance.”

i said, “the mind is strong, the flesh is weak.”

He responded back, “Hmm”

And that was the end of it…. until today.

i had a massive sinus headache yesterday and went to sleep taking two Benadryl. When i woke, the headache was gone, but i was still groggy. And i just got up and did the “old” routine of go to the kitchen for coffee and sit surfing while drinking coffee and waking up instead of the new routine of going straight to the shower.

And Sir was ready to leave by the time i drank coffee and THEN showered. So before leaving he said, “you didn’t adhere to the new routine. So because I’m leaving now, we need to put you in chastity.”

i was a bit surprised as i didn’t expect that, especially after the last (texting) conversation and all that he’s said about not being a “regular” thing. But i merely said, “yes Sir.” And we put it on.

That’s when he kissed me goodbye and smiled saying, “have a good day… and be a good girl!”

i just said, “Yes Sir, you have a good day too.” Thinking, “of course i’ll be a good girl. i don’t exactly have a choice... but THIS is what you wanted… to have your choice taken away to make it easier to submit. So be glad in it!”

So work was interesting.. for me anyway. i had not gone to work in chastity with a “normal” routine until now. But absolutely no one knew anything was different about me. It is surprisingly well-hidden under all clothing really. And thankfully, i have made appropriate adjustments to wear it long-term without any chafing at all. i have figured out that the tighter it is, the better. Because then it has NO ability to move around, and hence, no chafing.

Well, when i got home from work i expected him to say we would take it off, because i was a good girl today. i didn’t ask to not wear it, i didn’t ask to take it off, and i didn’t complain about wearing it. But when he didn’t tell me i could take it off, i asked if it could come off.

He said, “No. I’d like to keep it on. In fact, I’d like you to sleep with it. Ohhh and we are drinking wine with dinner.”

He KNOWS i get very turned on and very sexted up when i drink wine! And typically, i get sex or orgasm(s) or both when we share a bottle of wine. But no way while in chastity!

i must’ve had a surprised look on my face because that’s when he smirked and said, “well, you said you weren’t strong and your flesh was weak and you needed help…. so…. I’m giving you that help you so need.”

So here i am, locked up, feeling horny after drinking wine and SO wanting to suck or be sucked. i asked him if i could suck his cock. He said, “No. when i want you to do that, i will tell you. And tonight is not it.”

So instead, i get ready for sleep. And as we climb into bed, Sir says, “you gonna be able to sleep in chastity?”

i responded, “do i have a choice?”

He laughed and said, “no, not really…. although officially and technically you do since you have the key.” (Which he gave to me this morning for “emergency use only”)

i asked, “what will happen if i use it?”

He said, “do you really want to go there?”

Me, “No Sir”

Sir, “I didn’t really think so.”

Ultimate lesson learned: Careful what you wish for…….. or write on your blog! 😉

But… that said…… i couldn’t be happier than now with Sir taking charge, giving me direction, guidance, and leading me in every way! THIS is what i really want… to have him lead and know that he is respected and as such, i will obey. That even when i have the key and can make my own choice to unlock myself… we both know that i won’t!

Hugs,

Marie

96 – Reverse Psychology

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 96 – Reverse Psychology

i am struggling. i went from being afraid of chastity, to wanting it full time.

Why would i want it full time? Because it is preventative. i know i am not to touch myself without permission. But that’s easier said than done!

Prior to this rule in place, i touched myself in a seductive, sultry way every single day! And i made myself orgasm 2-4 times a week. Which being honest was ultimately not good. Because frequently i did it without Sir present and often him not even knowing…. where i hid it in the bedroom or bathroom to have “me” time. And it led to not wanting or having husband/wife time. Because when he was ready to do something, i was already “done” and not truly interested.

But as a result of how easy it was to satisfy my own needs, ever since this rule has been in place, i have struggled.

The official rule is “no masturbation and orgasm without permission.” So technically i can TOUCH myself…. in a seductive and sultry way. But the temptation is so great that one just simply leads to the next! And it’s easier to NOT do ouch at all then.

So the chastity belt was my idea. It would lock up what’s not mine. And Sir agreed.

Until it came. And it took me overcoming the mindset of how it looked. It looked mean and intimidating. But when i did, i saw it would be my new best friend! It was helpful and useful, and while tight fitting not hard to wear at all.

And that’s when he said, “it doesn’t need to be used that often.”

So now for a week, i have actually only worn it 3 x’s – Day 1: a couple hours, Day 2: 12-hours, and now today…. and not long yet, but we shall see.

i have all but BEGGED Sir to leave it on indefinitely or at least for a reallyyyyyyy long time.

He said, “NO. It’s not necessary.”

Well….. i am frustrated. If i can’t control myself and he won’t let me be proactive about it, that sets me up for failure. So why? Why not? Like what’s the reason WHY he had the NO answer????

And i asked him.

It was risky for me to be so bold. And i had tried (for a week now) to just accept it for what it is

[No means NO]. Right?? Shouldn’t have to be explained. Should be accepted as is.

But it has gotten the best of me today. And you are thinking, “why today if you are locked up?” Because being locked up feels good! i feel relief. i have removed the temptation and it is now not even a thing. i truly feel less stress with it on! And i thought, “W-H-Y can’t we just make this the norm? Why can’t i just wear it (mostly) all the time, except for Plan B times when he wants access and we are together… in which case i won’t touch anyway!”

So i said, “i don’t understand why you are hesitate to lock me in chastity more frequently. It would help me if you did.”

And i prayed, “Lord, let him hear my questioning in the GOOD way i am intending it to be!”

And he did.

His response was, “Because it will lose the effectiveness and make you think that when you don’t have it on that you can do what you want!”

So that’s opposite of what i was thinking really.

And i guess he might be right. i guess it may just allow me to be mentally lazy when i rely on it to prevent myself from touching if the belt is there….. and serve to set my mind (and fingers) into overdrive when it’s available.”

And let’s face it…. living in chastity 24/7 is NOT an option. Oh maybe for awhile…. sure…. but not as a viable, completely always that way option. In fact, in 6-days we are getting on a plane to go for a week vacation in the mountains of Colorado. It can’t be worn through security!

Although what i’d love to see the looks of TSA agents when they did a pat down and discovered it! I’m sure they’ve seen it all before… but i haven’t seen them seeing it all before! 😉. Of course…. perhaps that could lead to me being arrested and not getting on the plane at all too! And clearly, THAT is not an option…. which means chastity full time is also not an option!

So i guess i have to work on my mental submission being stronger…. i obviously struggle here and it will be something to overcome….. sometimes in chastity and well…. sometimes not.

i won’t deny…. i just wish he’d lock me up more often and allow me to have stress-free days. (Ok so not totally stress free…. but MORE stress free.)

Until next time…. locked in Chastity for now and am now off to have a relaxing STRESS FREE day!

Hugs,

Marie

93 – We have a Plan B.

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Plan A: i don’t have many rules. But the ones i do have are supposed to be solid and respected. The rule i can’t get through my head and to adhere (totally) to is self-imposed chastity. i am not allowed to touch myself or orgasm without permission.

The problem: i am wayyyy too tempted.

The solution: Chastity belt.

But that created a secondary problem. For me to have my access limited, also limits Sir’s access!

i have quickly figured out that David likes his “easy access” …. hence no panties rule. And while he’s never required dresses/ skirts, he most definitely prefers them too! While i’ve always known this about him, i wasn’t too sure which was more important….. my lack of access or his ability to have it. And it seemed impossible to serve both.

We weren’t sure exactly how chastity would ultimately fit into our lives. David was clear he didn’t want it to be indefinitely but otherwise, nothing was set.

It was a bit unclear, i think to both of us, how it could be effectively used but NOT be indefinite too.

So how does chastity keep me from access while allowing him access? THAT was the ultimate, underlying question.

Insert: Plan B!

And as of today…. we have a solution! The a plan B solution will work!

i have realized for awhile now that i get most turned on in the mornings. i wake up thinking about sex. And then i shower – touching and fondling my breasts, my pussy, and my ass to clean it, then get out and dry them off, and then see them in the mirror – and it all causes the arousal to grow even more intense!

While i never say no to sex or his access when he wants it, i really don’t feel naturally horny most any other time of the day. And while i know i have to ask permission to masturbate and cum, by the time i am ready to ask, David is typically on his way out the door. So frequently i end up asking via text after he’s already gone too!

Well, about a month ago, he said, “if you don’t ask in person, in words, out loud, to my face…. the answer is no. You don’t get to be a wimp and hide behind your phone.”

And i more or less shrugged that off and ignored it. And have kept asking. Yesterday though, he put his foot down and said, “I told you no more texting. I meant it!”

So we were talking about this. And have come up with an acceptable solution……..

Instead of me waking up to a cup of coffee on the couch, i will now wake up and go straight to the shower. And by doing this straight away, Sir will still be home of course.

When i am done, if i ask (in person and out loud), and the answer is yes – then great. i get to cum!

But if i ask and the answer is NO – i go into chastity right then and there. And it lasts until evening when i return from work …or whenever David ultimately decides …. which could be even longer if he wants to.

But knowing that i am aroused and want to touch myself – and he is needing to leave the house – leaves too much temptation to touch without permission.

And i won’t deny, i have been known to do it without permission. Because the temptation is simply overwhelming and i feel like i just NEED it, i do sometimes TAKE it.

But if i am locked right away, i would would then get dressed and ready for work without being tempted to make bad decisions that i have already been told no to.

And if he wants to unlock me when i get home, he will then gain the easy access he desires.

While technically i could touch and play with myself in the shower, when he unlocks me, and overnight …. i never do. That’s not when i experience the most temptations.

The shower is the trigger to the arousal, but i never finish standing up in the shower by myself. And i am never tempted when first home because i am tired and unwinding from work, preparing for dinner, etc. then we watch tv, do family things, and by the time i lay my head down, i fall asleep pretty quickly!

So the biggest risk is for me in the morning, after Sir leaves, and i am left alone. With myself. To play.

And this solution limits that temptation while allowing him the access he desires.

Now i am fully aware that i should be able to refrain and to control myself. And most days, i can. So Plan A works! But not all days so THIS is the perfect solution…. to take away the temptation altogether! So Plan B will work when Plan A fails!

So honestly….. i love the solution!

We will start this tomorrow. i wonder if tomorrow i’ll get to play or be locked up! But i feel like i will be asking…. because i haven’t been able to ask for several days now … in person.

What’s your bet? Will tomorrow morning hold orgasm or chastity? My bet? i think it’s 50/50 odds here and i don’t like those odds enough to bet on it! But i’ll be ready for both!

Hugs,

Marie