Tag: married life

18 – Red Beans and Rice.

Written by Marie on October 7, 2018. Posted in Punishment, Submission. 8 Comments on 18 – Red Beans and Rice.

LONG post – sorry, but hopefully you will understand…. and read through anyway. 🙂

So today was NOT my best day. And Sir is requiring a blog posting about it “now”. So here i am, being vulnerable, and telling you how my day has gone.

USEFUL STORY FACTS.

Let me tell you about how my day started…

#1 – our son had a failed attempt to spend the night with a friend last night. A friend was having a sleep over and at 3:00 am this morning son texted me asking to go get him and bring him home. The (teen) boys had had a fight and he just wanted to leave. So i was up earlyyyyy. And i (basically) didn’t go back to sleep after getting him home and listening to him tell me the “whole story”.

#2 – a friend who lives out of State, who i haven’t seen in 10- years was in town for just the weekend and (after getting Sir’s approval) we agreed to get together this morning. And i was super excited to get to see her today.

#3 – David was going to church early due to being on technical team and the original plan was that i would drop our son at church, and then go see said friend from there. (i was allowed to miss to go see my friend).

So with that. i texted David at 8:00am to report the events with our son and to confirm it was okay for our son to skip church also. Well, like all texting convos, while i was telling him about our son, he was asking me to do some tasks before i left.

He asked that i would rinse the RED BEANS and put them in water to soak. And if i did that, the beans would then be ready to go when he was home from church, so he would set them to cooking to be ready for tonight’s dinner.

He proceeded to give me explicit directions on EXACTLY what to do to get the beans soaking in the way he wanted them. This was all via text and between me saying, “yes Sir” i would also write more about our son’s mishaps that occurred overnight and got permission to allow our son to sleep in and also miss church.

So with that, i went to the shower, dressed, and left the house. Went to meet my friend. Off and on texting with Sir about having fun, etc.

And a bit later, i received a text from Sir that said, “Forget something??” after he had gotten home from church.

Oh crap. i forgot the beans. How to respond? NO WAY i can deny that i didn’t know how to do it. He texted EVERY step.

i responded, “Yes Sir. i did. i forgot the beans. i’m so very sorry”.

To which i received a text saying “What ELSE?“

What else?! Uhmm. NO idea…. Yikes.

i responded, “i’m not sure i know of anything else Sir.”

To which i received a text saying, “Your Collar?!”

(i have a collar that while it’s not been exactly or explicitly made clear when it is expected to be on or off, i basically “just know”. And it is basically, “All the time, but especially when leaving the house”. So i knew this was a time i should have worn it!)

Oh double crap. i clearly wasn’t thinking about anything Sir wanted or expected when i was dressing and leaving to meet with my friend!

i responded, “yes Sir. i have failed to wear it today. i’m sorry.”

To which i received a “Hmm” text back. Oh triple crap. NOT good!

Well, he didn’t text again. And the entire thing weighed heavy on my mind the rest of my friend meeting. And i texted, “i’m heading home now” at the conclusion of our meeting.

And i got a text back that said, “You need to stop and buy a bag of Red beans.”

“Yes Sir”.

i did.

And with that, Sir greets me and says, “I’m going to take a nap. We will deal with you after that!”

The waiting continues. The weight on my mind is NOT alleviated at ALL yet.

After Sir gets up, he says, “Go to the bedroom, take off all your clothes, put ON YOUR COLLAR and wait for me on the bed. I’m going to order pizza so we have SOMETHING to eat for dinner!”

Five very long minutes later…..

He comes in, with the bag of red beans that i had bought, and says, “You’ve had trouble listening and follow through with tasks today. When I tell you to do something, I expect it to be done. Now you have to learn a lesson.”

And he proceeded to pour the beans onto the floor, near the wall. He points to it. He says “Kneel. Now. Put your nose to the wall. You will be here until the pizza is delivered.”

And he left.

WELL – the first thoughts i had was, “This isn’t as bad as i feared. In fact, i’m not sure this will be any consequence or punishment at all!” But that feeling did NOT last long!

The minutes ticked away. My knees started to feel it. i shifted my weight from left to right. i thought, “Wow, that hurt!” but i also felt the beans “move”. Well, i wasn’t too sure how Sir would respond if he came back and found that the beans were basically NOT under my knees. So i leaned back, pushed them together in a cohesive pile, and went back to position.

OH MY GOSH. MISTAKE. THAT HURT!

And i waited. My back was starting to hurt from leaning into the wall for my nose to touch. So now my knees AND my back hurt.

And he came back. He asked, “How are we doing??” i had NO real idea how to respond. i worried that saying i was in pain would seem like a complaint, but to NOT say that would be a lie. So i opted for the truth to which he responded with, “GOOD!”

That’s when he slipped his fingers between my legs and i squirmed. OUCH. That squirm made the beans shift and sent pain through my knees. He saw the movement and said, “DO NOT MOVE! And don’t even think of Coming!”. He rubbed my clit and it was wet in an instant. i always get wet when he touches me. And then he pushed a finger in my ass. In. Out. In. Out. Deeper in. All the way out. Faster in. Faster out.

My head leaned back. i could feel the orgasm building. And he said, “Nose on the wall! I said do NOT move!” and he pulled fingers out and slapped my ass. Over and over. And while it didn’t hurt, it did a nice warm-up too! And i did not and was not allowed to cum.

And he left.

And i waited. And the beans shifted. So i shuffled them back together. Again. And IT HURT! You’d think i’d have learned the first time! But no, i didn’t. This time, tears came to my eyes when i made myself get back in place.

45-long-minutes-later, i heard the door bell ring. i was never so happy to hear that bell!

And just a couple of minutes after that, Sir came in and asked, “Have you learned that you need to remember to do as i ask?”

“Oh yes, Sir, i have!”

“Do your knees hurt?”

“Oh yes, Sir, they do!”

“Good!” (then he told me to stand, gave me forgiveness kisses and hugs) and he also said, “Now get dressed, get a Ziploc and clean up the beans. Do not throw them away. Keep them. i may need to repeat this at some point! Then take a picture of your knees. Keep it as a reminder. And let’s go eat dinner… albeit PIZZA and NOT red beans and rice!”

“Yes Sir”

And we ate Pizza. Afterward he said, “Now go blog about this. I want you to remember this! and post the Picture with it”

In case you are wondering, YES, those are my knees in this picture above. (Sexy, right?! LOL). And 2-hours later, they are still indented, although not as bad. And they still sting too!

Red beans will be tomorrow’s meal. And i hope to NEVER have this repeated.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

14 – Pleasure to pain.. in the same day.

Written by Marie on September 26, 2018. Posted in Domestic Discipline, Forced Orgasm, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Spanking, Submissive Wife, Uncategorized, Wife Spanking. 1 Comment on 14 – Pleasure to pain.. in the same day.

So i’ve had an interesting submissive day today … pain to pleasure…. in a mere 12 hours time too!

Let me tell you about my day….

i typically work from home on Wednesdays. i am never able to get done what i need to at the office so i work from home every Wed to try to make up for it. And the place won’t fall apart without me for ONE day. But today i had to go in for a meeting at 10:00. So i drug my feet and went there “late” (at 9:00).

Orgasm Control Training

But before i went, David took our son to school. And we recently – like this week – jointly decided we want to start doing (my ) orgasm control at his discretion.

Since the DD decision, i’ve had to ask to masturbate but he hasn’t told me when i can or can not cum. Until now.

i’ve read a lot of blogs now about it and there are people who can “cum on command“. The blog post said, “Right there in the middle of the bread aisle”. Interesting. i’m not sure i want to cum in the bread aisle, but i thought it was an awesome display of submissiveness, so i wanted it. YES, i asked for it!

Just a sidebar – i don’t know WHAT i was thinking when i agreed to this. In fact, it was MY IDEA! Sir said, “Careful what you wish for….” and i was like, “NO, i really want to do this for you, for us, and as a show of my submissiveness”. WELL, in my HEAD that sounded awesome, and frankly, coming out of my mouth it did too. And i was PROUD of my decision.

For about a whole minute.

That “Minute” was THE MINUTE i wanted to orgasm and Sir said no. (WHAT?! NO?!? You are kidding me, right?!?!).

But i digress… because THAT MINUTE was a few days ago…. so let me get back to this morning…..

So David took our son to school. He told me to “Lay on the bed, with the rabbit toy, and watch porn. Bring yourself to the EDGE and stop. DO NOT CUM. And do this the entire time i’m gone and i’ll tell you when to stop”.

Our son’s school is 20-minutes away – one way. So for 40-minutes i had to watch porn, and use the vibrator on myself but DO NOT CUM.

(REALLY, what was i thinking?!? Is it too late to retract my request to submit to Sir THIS MUCH? Maybe i could just submit with my clothes ON!?!?! YES?!?!?! LOL. Okayyyyyy…. fine… doing this thing).

When David got back, i was so insanely turned on. i could only hope that he’d allow me to cum … soon… like NOW.

My fear was that he’d not let me cum at all and i’d have to ‘get dressed and go to work now.’. But, he did not disappoint. He entered the bedroom and asked me if i had came while he was gone. i was like, “NO, i promise i haven’t, but Pleaseeeeeee Sir, may i cum now?”

NO.

ME: WHAT?!?! PLEASE!?!?

And he touched my clit. it was SO enlarged and swollen i almost jumped off the bed with the slightest touch. Then he took the porn away. Then he took the vibrator away. And he played with me himself. And he said, “CUM NOW”. And i did.

And then i went to work.

The next thing i know, i go from pleasure to pain…. in the same day.

THEN THE PADDLE

To tell you WHY i got paddled first…..

Sir and i have the same profession. He works for a firm and i work for myself. And from time to time, he helps me get through busy times at work by doing some review work for me. (He volunteers and i always take him up on it. He knows i need the help and he has the time and the skill set, so it is a win-win. And i love him for it!). So today was one of those days.

He reviewed two projects that were substantially the same, and when i got home, he was talking to me about the results. Well, i got confused about which project he was talking about because – it seemed to me anyway – that he was talking back and forth about both of them and i couldn’t keep up with the conversation.

Now, you’d think HE would be frustrated with me… like a “Keep up!” kind of comment. But i was frustrated with him! i had to say, “Are you talking about X or Y? i have no idea what you are talking about!”. And then he started talking. And i said with a very annoyed tone, “WHAT are you talking about?! i’m not listening until you clarify because i’m confused!”

So – WHAT i said was probably not allllll that bad — but the WAY i said it was so completely off base it wasn’t even funny. As soon as it came out of my mouth, and i felt the annoyance in my body language and realized how it sounded, i knew it was wrong.

But Sir didn’t say anything, so i acted like nothing happened.

We finished our convo and i was about to head outside to play ball/ fetch with the dog.

And that’s when he stopped me and said, “Do you think you were annoyed with me?”

Me: “Uhmmm…. yes Sir”.

Him: “Go to the bedroom”.

Oh geez – here we go….

i dropped my pants and put my hands on the bed, head down, feet on the floor, spread shoulder-width apart.

And i heard the bedside stand dresser draw open and close. The Paddle. Here it comes.

SMACK.

Me: (OUCH) —- “Please Sir, i’m sorry. i spoke to you poorly and let my frustration get the best of me. i will not let….

SMACK.

ME: “that happen again.”

SMACK.

Him: “WHY are you lying to me?”

SMACK.

Me: “What do you mean? Please Sir…. i promise”

SMACK.

Him: “I seriously doubt that you will ‘not let it happen again’”

ME: “Sir, i will do my best to….”

SMACK

ME: “… not let it happen again.”

SMACK.

ME: (Tears in my eyes, squirming….), “Thank you Sir”

Him: “That’s what I was waiting for.”

And he put the paddle away and held me in his arms and told me i was a Good Girl.

Back to Orgasm Control

With that, standing naked in the bedroom and in his arms, he reached down between my legs and put a finger inside me.

And said, “CUM NOW”.

And he pushed two fingers in and out and i grabbed his arm and held on to not fall.

And i came. Twice. THAT fast.

In “THAT MINUTE”… or “THIS MINUTE” … or “NOW”.

Conclusion:

NO matter what, through pleasure AND pain, and back again, i am his and he is mine. i will always submit to him and he will always control me.

And i welcome tomorrow….

With a sore, red ass.

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

13 – Corset Waist Training and sex and spanking, oh my.

Written by Marie on September 25, 2018. Posted in Uncategorized. 3 Comments on 13 – Corset Waist Training and sex and spanking, oh my.

Have you done it before? i just started this past week. Tell me what you think!?

i love it! It is hot, sexy, and slimming.

And i’ve noticed that Sir LOVES it too! 🙂

i probably should have asked permission to buy it, wear it, and do it in the first place, but i didn’t. And (probably because he DOES love the look, i got away with the unilateral decision i made! wink,wink!)

PROS: Hot, Sexy, Slimming.

Okay, so i already said that. But let’s expand on that…..

Hot – well – i FEEL hot. Not heat hot, but “oh la la” hot.

i like being looked at. i always have. i live a domestic, suburban lifestyle and looking “hot” isn’t exactly a pro-mom thing. or a pro-suburban life thing. Which is probably why i like to show it off and do what i’m not supposed to do!

These things force you to have good posture, which forces your boobs to protrude, which forces you to walk with confidence. And THAT Sir finds to be hot. And me too!

Sexy. Okay, so sexy and hot are kinda the same thing. But what i’m talking about is the bedroom-sexy here. Let me tell you what happened….

Sir said i was disrespectful, and i was. i deserved punishment, that i was just about to receive too. And David ordered me to the bedroom to “assume the position” (clothes off, feet on the floor, legs spread shoulder-width apart, hands on the bed, head down, and ready to be spanked).

So i did as told. But – i left the corset on. Definitely a bold not-so-submissive move, but i was taking a chance with leaving it on, and i did it in a “i dare you to spank me harder if you think i’ve disobeyed this order too” kind of way. And i waited.

He came in, grabbed the paddle and hit my ass HARD. (Darn it, i’m not going to get an easy spanking due to looking corset-ready-sexy. Hmm.)

BUT – alas – that’s when he laid his other hand on the small of my back. And he said, “You look sexy. But you are still in trouble.”

And SMACK. (OUCH!). So this hurts, but i smiled because i achieved the desired level of naughtiness by keeping the corset on, and he noticed.

And SMACK. (OUCHHHHH). But then…..

His hand left the small of my back and i felt it touch between my legs. (Oh YEAH!)

i flinched because i wasn’t expecting that and that’s when i felt another SMACK. And Sir said, “I didn’t say you could move!”

And his fingers played with my clit. i tried to stay very still. But when i’m hit (no pun intended) with sex and spank at the same time, i feel pleasure AND pain, and my brain is racing a mile a minute! And so is my heart! And my blood. And my pussy got wet!

He liked it! He commented, “i think you are liking this!”

And SMACK. (OUCH again! Woah, which feeling is DOMINANT in me?!).

But his fingers continued to explore my clit and pretty soon i felt TWO go inside.

And SMACK. With 2-fingers inside on one hand and the other hand controlling the paddle, that was some kind of sensation!

That’s when he pushed more fingers inside… in fact, his paddle hand dropped the paddle and pushed on the small of my back to hold me in place, while his pussy hand pushed ALL fingers inside me.

He was working towards a full fisting motion. And it stretched out my pussy and pushed hard inside me. It got me so wet! And that’s when i heard, “DO NOT CUM!” (okay, so is THAT the punishment?!)

We’ve never been fully successful with fisting. Sir’s hand is large and he says the squeezing tightness of my pussy doesn’t feel good on his hand. But i think he endeavors to one day get his entire fist into that pussy! (But today was not that day!)

He pushed me hard into the bed and pinned my neck with his spanking hand so that i couldn’t move while the other hand was jamming in and out of my pussy. With each “in” it went further and hurt a little more. A pleasure-filled-hurt though.

After a bit of this, he said, “NOW you may cum” and i did almost immediately. (Orgasm training is another thing we are working on… another post maybe!). And the release was amazing!

That’s when David stood me up, put both hands around my neck and from behind me said, “This wasn’t much of a punishment, but i DO LOVE the corset look. Wear it daily!” (YES SIR!… Mission accomplished…. hear the theme song in your head… dunt, dunt, du-du-dunt… okay, i’ll stop, but you DO hear it, right?!?!?).

I got away with it this time, but somehow, i don’t think that, corset or no corset, “next time” the punishment really WILL BE punishment.

And Slimming…. okay, well, after those HOT AND SEXY pros, do we really want to talk about any other pros?!?!

– well, maybe just ONE comment – regarding “slimming” – the corset strings are HARD to do up (in the back) by yourself – so Sir is not using his Dominant self to tie me in of his own accord. And of course, i’d have to have permission to get out of it – but i don’t want to – becuase – well – i find it — HOT, SEXY, and SLIMMING. (Can you tell, i like it!?!)
And CONS — well – that would just simply be a complete downer to talk about that now – so we will skip that. Comment if you really want to hear about the Cons. 😉

So there you have it – i officially wear a corset – and sometimes that’s IT – but the corset is a daily activity now……

Hugs and Kisses ~

Marie

8 – How did i get here anyway? AND…It’s a Struggle… a 2-fer.

Written by Marie on September 18, 2018. Posted in Marriage, Submission, Uncategorized. 2 Comments on 8 – How did i get here anyway? AND…It’s a Struggle… a 2-fer.

Hello ~

Fair warning – this is a longggg post. But it is a 2-fer really.

First, i want to give you some of my backstory. How did i get to this place?

Second, its a struggle. This submission thing is both what i want, and not. And, well, its a struggle. Yes, a struggle, after just a couple of days ago how i told you my Thoughts on Submission. Wanting to submit and actually doing it aren’t always one in the same.

SO – STORY #1 – MY BACKSTORY.

To date, i haven’t given you ‘that much’ information about ME and my husband. But i want to now.

We’ve been married for 17 years. We met at work. We are both in the same profession. He was my boss when i started working there. (i suppose he was ‘in charge’ of me from the beginning!) i worked there for 9-months when we started dating. Our firm sent us out of town on a project for 3-weeks where we ate, drank, and …got merry! (MERRY not MARRY…. not yet anyway.)

We dated for 5-years. A longgg 5-years and i doubted whether he was going to marry me and i ended up giving him an ultimatum. Obviously, he conceded and we were married shortly thereafter.

And from there, life got boring. We changed jobs and no longer worked together. We had a kid. Only one. And life was even more mundane. We both thought, “This is ALL there is?” and we became your average American family with a 2-story house, picket fence, and a dog.

The “American Dream” … right? What more could a girl want?!?

Well… looks can be deceiving.

At about our 10-year anniversary, neither of us was “all that happy” (and a bag of chips). We were just going through the motions. And something had to change or else we would either die young (boredom) or end up divorced.

That’s when we started talking about having a 3-some (with a woman). And from there, we talked about becoming swingers. And we did it ….all. Yes, i consider myself bi-sexual now also. But we don’t have any ‘regulars’ we see… not yet anyway. (In another post, i’ll give you some salacious details!)

The more we explored, the more i wanted to do. He was happy with a 3-some (of course he was, what man wouldn’t want 2-women?!). But i found myself wanting to be controlled. i wanted him to tell me what to do.

It basically started as a fantasy… and mostly just a sexual one. i really thought i was a masochist for the longest time. And when i “casually mentioned” this to my husband, he was like, “NO, I can NOT beat you!! I was raised to respect women” And i was like, “But i WANT you to.” And while i think he just basically thought i was crazy… i REALLY think he thought that this was a “phase” that i was going through. That the fantasy sounded good, but the reality wouldn’t be.

Fast forward a bit. About 2-years ago, i found the website for really kinky people and i decided to register. My profile says “I’m a married female, on here with consent from my husband. I want a Dom and while he doesn’t feel that’s something he can do, he supports my endeavor to find one.” And all that was true. i talked to him first. And he agreed to the site, the posting wording, and as long as he knew where i was and who i was with at all times when i met someone… then i had his blessings. (Safety first. That was his concern).

This is the point he started to take me seriously though too. If i was willing to do all this, maybe i did want this from someone. And if he wasn’t willing or able to give it to me, i was willing to go get it. i never did find anyone that i was brave enough to actually meet …. stories of rape, abuse, and kidnapping scared me so much that i just couldn’t ACTUALLY bring myself to GO MEET “HIM” (or HER).

WELL – so how did we bridge this gap?

Our dog LOVES to bark. We’ve tried everything to get her to stop. And we finally bought her a shock collar that we shock her and she FINALLY stops. It is run from a plug-in Rechargeable battery and you are now wondering, “HOW did we get to talking about the DOG and HOW does that get us to a DD relationship” (Bear with me 1-more minute!)

The collar went ‘dead’ and needed to be recharged a little more than a week ago. So i plugged it in and waited (bark, bark, bark going on the entire time i waited!). It was FINALLY time to put it back on her.

And when David got home from work, he said, “I see you put her collar back on.” To which I replied, “YES, a collar is a good thing!” and he said, “Is it now?” and i said, “YES! Absolutely!” And at this point, i think he knew i wasn’t talking about the dog collar.

He went to the (home) office computer and started typing. And i figured out he was doing something “secretive” so i didn’t bother him. (Maybe he was finding us a hot babe for another hot 3-some!)

A couple of days later, we have a delivery. He tells me to “Come here now!” and i do. He has a collar for ME! He put it on and i LOVED it! i was surprised at it. And he said, “WOW, I think I could’ve bought you a car and you wouldn’t be THIS happy!” He also said, “You are MINE! And I really see NO reason for you to take this collar off. Do you?” and I responded with, “No Sir!”.

i didn’t know for sure if this was the start of him REALLY being my Dom, but i prayed about it. i was hoping! i literally prayed, “Lord, let him be the head of our house. Let him have his way and not mine. Help him to lead us according to your will and to hear you clearly. Help me to submit to my husband”.

Finding Domestic Discipline (DD). Up until this point, i didn’t even actually KNOW about DD. i got SO turned on by the collar, i went to my ipad and typed into a Google search, “Submitting to my husband” and the first thing that came up was “Domestic Discipline.” I read a lot about it that night.

THAT was when i realized, i’m not reallyyyyy a masochist. i’m a submissive wanting to submit to my husband, have consequences for NOT doing so, and well, have domestic discipline. Domestic discipline is about spanking. But not just that. Discipline can come in many forms. But that’s all really for another post!

i showed my husband what i found and asked him to research it too.

And the VERY NEXT DAY… he told me to buy a paddle and be ready to have it used. i thought, “WOAH, we are REALLY doing this!!”

… and THAT my friends is “How I got here in the first place!”

Which brings me to Story #2 –

IT’S A STRUGGLE

Submission. i want to do it. i really do. But i’m struggling. Let me (try to) explain.

With ALL that backstory (that is absolutely true) up until this point, everything i reallyyyyy knew about Submission or Domination or Domestic Discipline or Masochism or BDSM (any other ‘or’s i’ve missed?!?) – was ALL IN MY HEAD. Meaning, i have read a lot, talked a lot, but not DONE a lot.

None of it was actually played out in real life. If you count ‘talking to someone online or text’ as playing it out in real life, then yes, i suppose i’ve had at least a real life experience. But other than THAT, nothing. So i don’t really know what it means to submit or be spanked or to say things like, “Yes Sir.”

And well, the internet is completely true…. and all those erotic stories i’ve read… those are all true too. And that’s exactly how all this will play out in real-life too. RIGHT?!?!

So i’ve crafted this whole “IDEA” of how all this dominance/submission and spanking was supposed to go. Frankly, it is so well crafted that it could be my own real-life-movie where i’m the star of the show and my husband says his lines and plays his part. All i had to do was give him the script!

And that’s basically what i tried to do. That’s why i’m “Topping from the Bottom”. You know, where i tell you how to dominate me and you do what i say?!?! THAT was what i envisioned. Oh it wasn’t intentional, but is the reality of the situation too.

WHAT I GOT was a TRUE SIR. My husband, David, is coming into his own. He took my ‘Advice and ideas’ for about a week. And NOW, he’s told me to SUBMIT and let HIM dominate. That i’m too bossy. That i need to understand that submission doesn’t mean tell him what to do. It is the other way around. And whether it is according to my ‘script’ or not, he doesn’t care.

SO – NOW – I’m struggling. You’d think i’d be happy. RIGHT? Well, i am actually. BUT i’m not sure how to “DO” this submission thing. It sure looked easy watching the porn, in my books, on the internet, but now … this is ‘real life’ … and it’s not really following the scripts that i laid out.

Sir is doing an amazing job. i’m SO thrilled and impressed at his desire to lead. (Today he told me he wouldn’t hesitate to turn me over his knee in public or in front of my sister, if the time comes where that it is needed).

i don’t suppose i’ll ever really know what made him buy me the collar. i won’t know what ever convinced him that i truly do want this. i won’t know how we got from ‘there’ to ‘here’. BUT – i do know – i have to throw away the script and let him do what he was born to do – LEAD and DOMINATE.

Life shouldn’t be so scripted anyway – maybe that’s why we were just an “average American family” and yet – bored. i don’t want to go back to that life. i need to just relax and let him do what he’s meant to do – LEAD. But i have to learn how too.

And to remember all i REALLY have to do is – SUBMIT…. respect, obey, and did i say submit (??) … all in a way that is pleasing to HIM!

i’ll do better tomorrow, i promise…. Sir!

Hugs ~

Marie