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108 – Complete work of fiction. #2.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Fiction, Submission. No Comments on 108 – Complete work of fiction. #2.

If you didn’t read the first Complete Work of Fiction #1, you should probably do so before reading this one…. as this is a continuation of Part 1 and may/may not make sense as a stand alone post.

i couldn’t help but wonder, “How many? How will this go? Should i be excited or worried or both? And when will i know more details……….”

ONE WEEK BEFORE……

My 50th birthday was just a week away and David promised to make it one i’d never forget. All he’d told me so far was there would be multiple people who will feast on Me for Thanksgiving! What does that even mean???

i mean my 50th IS on Thanksgiving but i never expected to have a big “feast” with ME being the featured entree of the day! But it seems through all the hints he’s dropped that THAT may in fact be what happens!

And then he announced, “No more masturbation or orgasms for you until your birthday. You are to only touch yourself to shower and clean. We have to have you good and ready! But I will edge you daily.”

Oh great… a week of edging and no orgasms…. i sure hope this is worth it! And edging that he is in charge of too!

And without fail… as we were headed to bed, he would say, “open your legs.” And he played with my clit until i was begging to come. And he’d stop. He waited 10-minutes, to the point i thought maybe he’s done and that’s all, and he would repeat. He did this varying numbers of minutes and repeats for the entire week. i was SO ready to orgasm! But true to his word, he didn’t allow it.

ONE DAY BEFORE……

i was getting more and more anxious with not knowing a whole lot of what to expect. David really hadn’t told me much more about Thanksgiving. And every time i asked he would say, “Don’t worry your pretty little head. I have it all taken care of.”

When i asked what i needed to do, his response was, “Be yourself. Your submissive self, the GOOD GIRL, submissive self that we both know you are… and to which I ABSOLUTELY LOVE!”

Yes Sir.

THE MORNING OF…

(The rest of this will be from what i think would be what he may say and think… From his point of view now… of course this is my idea of what he may say, so this may or may not be how he would actually respond… but i did say “Complete work of Fiction”)……

I woke her up and said, “Happy Birthday my love!” And handed her a cup of her favorite coffee.

Marie opened her eyes and said, “Thank you Sir,” and took a sip. While she was drinking, I told her to get completely naked and prepare herself for her birthday spanking. She knows it won’t be a punishment, instead it will be rather a FUN-ishment.

I said, “Drink your coffee and enjoy. I’m leaving the room now. When you are done enjoying coffee, you are close the door promptly Assume The Position and wait for my return. To receive your Birthday spanking of course!”

I heard her say, “Yes Sir,” which just happen to be my favorite words! And I left the room.

I knew it wouldn’t take long and she’d close the bedroom door. So I did a few things around the house and sure enough the door closed. I intentionally made her wait a full 15-more minutes. I know she prays while she waits and given it is her 50th birthday and Thanksgiving too, I wanted to give her plenty of time to pray for all the things she’s Thankful for.

I knew I wanted to start AND end the day with her seeing and hearing my voice. So I knew I needed to spank her first thing to remind her just who she ultimately belongs to, and to be on her best behavior today, but also to get her into the right mindset for the remainder of the day too!

When I entered our room I saw the sight I so very much love… she had Assumed The Position! This is especially my favorite on days like today when she’s not here because of trouble! My loving submissive wife, bent over and waiting for me. And in the small of her back lay my paddle.

I picked up the paddle and swung lightly. She moved and let out a small sound.

I said, “Are you ready to have an amazing birthday?”

“Yes Sir!”

I said, “Great! We are going to give you a Birthday spanking now. You are 50, so there will be 50 swats in total. But you are not in trouble and since we don’t want you worn out before the day’s activities even really begin, it won’t be too hard! And I want you to count them out for me too.”

“Yes Sir” is all I heard. And so I begun.

When we got to 15 she was squirming more than I wanted and I gave her a second to gain her composure. I also reminded her we weren’t even half way yet.

She said, “But Sir, it’s already stinging.”

And I said, “I understand but I want you to be a good girl and ring in your 50’s with me standing right here behind you.”

While I admit, it did take me awhile to truly get on board with this while D/s with DD lifestyle that she asked for a few years back, it has changed our marriage for the better. And today especially, I wanted her to know how much I love being her Sir.

She said, “Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

“Good Girl! You make me so happy. Let’s get to the Big 5-0!”

SWAT SWAT SWAT… And so we continued!

All along the way, I said things to her to reassure her of my love like, “You are such an amazing wife!”

SWAT

“Thank you Sir. Twenty-five Sir.”

SWAT

And I said, “You are doing an amazing job of being my submissive wife. I love this lifestyle we have created together.”

SWAT

“Me too Sir. Thirty-five Sir.”

Then I said, “You like being my slut submissive wife, don’t you?”

[Time out: i haven’t told you about my opinions on the word “slut”…. and i will in a full post. But suffice it to say here that the definition of it is “a woman with many sexual partners,”… and from my previous escapades, you know i have had sex with others. SO… if the shoe fits, wear it! Oh – and remember – this is fiction! So now the story can continue…..]

S-W-A-T. I won’t deny…..I made that one be a bit more intense on purpose.

She called out, “Forty Sir. Thank you Sir. Yes, Sir, i do love being your Submissive wife.”

S-W-A-T. That one was a bit harder too, only because she intentionally didn’t answer my question and we both knew it.

“I didn’t say ‘submissive wife,’ I said ‘Submissive SLUT wife’. Say it out loud. Admit it. You know you want to!”

SWAT

“Forty-five Sir. Thank you Sir. Yes, i love being your submissive slut wife!”

We both know she likes being called the word “slut” and for some strange reason it turns her on. But only when we are in a scene or doing something sexual. I’d never dare say it to her otherwise, as i truly love her too much for that! But she hates saying it herself. I think because when she does say it, she has to own it.

So I continued to make her say she was my submissive slut wife. And to acknowledge that’s what she wanted to be all day today on her 50th birthday. I could tell the whole thing was getting her super wet between the legs too, so for many reasons, I knew she liked it!

SWAT.

Then I heard, “FORTY-NINE SIR.”

“Last one my submissive, slut wife….. got to make it count!”

SLAM!

“Owwwww!” And she yelled out, “FIFTY SIR. THANK YOU SIR!!!”

I pulled her up from the bed and hugged her so tight. I told her, “You are so strong and so amazing! I love you SO much my good girl!”

Then I kissed her heavy and full. And I laid her oh-so-gently and tenderly onto the bed. I knew her ass was sore. But I also knew how she loved my tongue too!

I spread her legs wide and went down on her clit folds. My tongue moved around this clit that I know so well. We’ve been together for over 25-years now and she has always loved how well my tongue laps at her clit.

In no time at all, she was asking me to come. I stopped immediately and said, “OH NO! You don’t get that pleasure just yet my dear. I need you to be ready for what is coming up next. You know it’s too soon!”

She was on the edge from no orgasms for a week now. But I wanted her to wait just a bit longer too. She pouted. I knew she would though, so I was ready!

So I pulled her up and turned her over onto her stomach. I pulled up from the hips and got her onto her knees. I grabbed the lube and spread it onto my finger and into her ass. I finger-fucked her a minute and told her, “I’m going to take you in the ass now. I’m doing this because you typically don’t orgasm from anal penetration and I do NOT want you to come. So I’m going to use your ass and fill it with my seed. Is this ok by you?”

She responded, “Yes of course Sir! You know i love anal and especially when i get to come. Please use me Sir.”

I reminded her that, “I will come this morning, but you will not. I’m aware you want to. And you be used a lot and you can come freely at that time. But not now. Not yet. Do I make myself understood?”

And when she said, “Yes Sir,” I pushed my hard cock deep into her ass. I typically take it slow and easy at first, but I didn’t want to give it to her that way today. I knew if I pushed hard and fast I could use this moment to get myself off and not give her enough time to do so herself. So that’s what I did!

Damn her ass looked and felt so good. It had been awhile since I’d taken her from behind. So I started pushing in and out rather quickly! She was moaning and begging to come, to which I denied. That got us both even more turned on too!

That’s when I asked her, “Who do you belong to?”

“You Sir”

“And what are you?”

“Your submissive Sir.”

“My Submissive WHAT?”

“Your submissive slut wife Sir.”

“That’s my good girl!”

As I said those words, I slammed my cock deep into her ass and exploded. I held myself there for just a second while my cock released all I had deep into her. I loved this position and this look. I loved being RIGHT HERE!

When I pulled out, I turned her (gently) onto her back again and lowered myself down between her legs to rest upon her body. I put my elbows on the bed and wrapped my hands around her head to stroke her hair. My body surrounded her fully.

That’s when I looked square in her eyes and told her, “Marie, you are the love of my life and I am proud to be your husband. I love you so much! Happy Birthday my good girl!”

And I kissed her deep and passionately.

While we could’ve stayed her for a long time. I knew we had to start the day. So I pulled us both up off the bed, and I asked, “okay, so, you ready to truly start the day? To have an amazing birthday??”

She said, “well Sir, i think it’s already gotten off to an amazing start… except of course that you didn’t allow me to orgasm when you did……. [insert pouty face here] …… But honestly, i’m not too sure about the rest of today since i’m not entirely sure what to expect!”

I knew she was nervous. She’s not used to not knowing anything at all. So I gave her a bit of reassurance by saying, “Don’t worry. You will get to orgasm plenty! Just do as you are told and the rest of this day will be A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!”

That’s when I told her to get in the shower. And she was to ensure every bit of hair from her neck down, excluding her arms of course, was shaven away clean.

Marie asked, “is there anything particular i should wear today?”

And I responded with, “it will be laying on the bed when you are out of the shower.”

TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN……

OKAY my friends – So just writing this, i can tell i got myself wet between the legs. i know i can’t (and i won’t) touch myself…. because that is one of my rules. But maybe i can convince David to do it…. maybe! 😉

Hugs,

Marie

107 – One Year (and a Day) ago.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 107 – One Year (and a Day) ago.

One year (and one day) ago, i wrote post #39 about Domestic Discipline – in life. And i think it’s interesting that i was thinking about life, marriage, DD, etc this morning…. one year (and a day) later. So it got me to reflecting back and comparing the past or the present.

So after rereading that blog and i see how things have changed…. AND stayed the same. There’s a lot of both!

Just to make it easy to know what i’m referring to, and without flipping back and forth, here’s a screenshot of how it started……

Starting at the top, if i were to write those same paragraphs now, with TODAY’s opinions (but same gist)….. this is how the post would NOW go……..

i know i almost always talk about our lifestyle with reference to sex…..and spanking….. while that can and sometimes is a big part of it, it really isn’t JUST that. It’s more than that. In fact, it’s a daily activity. It’s something that never stops.

Ultimately i’d say that our Domestic Discipline (DD) life is more about showing respect and kindness than anything else. Especially from me to David, but it definitely goes in reverse too. And while this is something that everyone should do, but people frequently just don’t. (In fact, i think the world could use more of it … but that’s a whole other post altogether!)

Before DD, David would frequently tell me that i don’t “respect” him. i always thought i did, and in fact, i still think that. But now i know what i didn’t do then, but do now, is SHOW it to him. i speak with gentler and kinder words now than i ever did before. Instead of saying things like, “Will you take out the trash?” i now say something more like, “i would love it if you’d take the trash to the garage when you could, please Sir.” That’s not tremendously different, but it IS different. i make a point to let him know how much i would LOVE his help. But i don’t assume i’ll get it. Whereas before, i assumed he would do it so my words were more of a commandment than a question.

And i also ask with a “please.” Because ultimately it is his decision to do (or not) do it and please is the word to ASK for help, rather than just assume it is there. Where before DD, i just expected him to do it and while i’d word it in the form of a question, it was more of an expectation and a command rather than a true question. Now, it is truly a question, and while i am hopeful (and it is probable) that he will help, i know he might not. And if he doesn’t, i have to be ok with his decision too.

Now it’s really in the second paragraph (referring to the screenshot above from a year ago) that i see the biggest differences from then to now. And paragraphs 2 &3 are essentially the same, just more detail really. So here is today’s version…….

i used to say i would be much stricter than Sir. i know that we are really in sync now though… most days anyway. He’s grown in the last year as the leader of our house, and has ultimately gotten stricter. But i have also grown in my submission to him and more accepting of his leadership too. So we have effectively met in the middle! We both know the expectations… and consequences…. quite clearly. And he’s not afraid or shy or otherwise reserved to implement the consequences either.

(i think it’s maybe a tad hard to read all italics all the time, so i’m going to flip back to standard font, but otherwise, simply continuing on…..).

Some (even “many”) DD relationships have written rules. While we have rules, they aren’t written. We don’t have an official contract or signed agreement. While i can certainly see the benefit of this, when we first started this, neither of us knew what we wanted. i’d even say that at the time, this lifestyle was likely more of an experiment than a lifestyle. And while we may have had intentions of it being a lifestyle, it may have been like other things (diet and exercise for example), that you start strong and it fades away. So putting rules or an agreement in place wasn’t really possible, when all we had was a pen and a blank piece of paper in front of us. So you might say we had to experiment a bit first to find the right fit.

And perhaps it was the lack of a contract that has caused us to have a bit of a rocky start too…..where i thought he should be more strict and he didn’t think i even knew what i was asking for. But with or without a contract, in any good marriage of any lifestyle preference, communication is key.

We don’t always get it right…. no one does though. But we do strive to have effective communication always. Sometimes i struggle to find the right way to speak in a submissive tone, especially when i am stressed, angry, or adamant about a topic. This too is a learning process for both of us and likely always will be.

The biggest area of communication that causes the most strife for us typically starts with David speaking to me where he uses words that sound like i have a choice. The problem lies when i can’t tell if it is a true choice or not. Instead of telling me to do something, he might phrase it where it is optional.

For example, if we were to be having dinner out at a restaurant, David might say something like, “I think you need to get ready to go.” Now that’s not too confusing. While worded like a thought or his opinion, it’s really him informing me to go do it. This is especially true if i knew we were having dinner out. But say i was intending to wear what i had on at that moment out, what does that mean now? i thought i WAS ready, but now he is clearly indicating he doesn’t think so.

So now i have worked to communicate, in a respectful tone, my confusion. i’d probably say something like, “Please Sir could you use more direct words? i am not understanding your intentions.”

And he might would then say, “You are dressed too casual for the restaurant we are going to. You should wear pants (or a dress) rather than the shorts you have on.”

Now it’s clear to me. And i will get up and go change. Right then. I’d do it right then because that too shows respect. i find his directive something of importance to be followed RIGHT THEN and he appreciates that. So in this case, actions speak louder than words in expressing my respect towards him.

So back to the contract part…. we didn’t draft one at the start because we didn’t even know what it might would contain. And now, it kinda seems unnecessary. i know the rules. Again, they aren’t written, but like anything in life … you figure out what you can/can’t do or what you should/shouldn’t do. So my rules are ultimately still very clearly me.

i am to: be respectful, use kind words, never assume he will do something just because i ask, make my body available to him when he wants, do not touch myself in a sexual way without his permission, do not assume his body is available to me without asking permission, and orgasms have to be allowed (i have to ask first!) before i do so. And if these things are not done, expect consequences….. or said plainly: punishment…. in various forms, but primarily spanking.

And again, David isn’t afraid to enforce the rules. Nor is he remorseful about enforcing the rules. He will say something like, “You knew what to do. You didn’t do it. You know the consequences. So I’ll administer that now. And it will be over and done.”

Because ultimately, i’d tell you that while he enforces things, it’s the submissive who has control….. control to do as we have both agreed. Or to accept the consequences. i still have a lot of control, even though it may not seem like it at first.

So in reflecting from One Year (and a Day) ago to today…. i’m happy to say this IS a lifestyle, and also happy to say that i am NOT more strict than David. And instead, David is firmly in control. And always prepared to administer punishment if i don’t make wise decisions. And i love my discipline life!

The more things change….. the more they stay the same!

Hugs,

Marie

104 – Complete work of fiction. #1

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………But i do hope that it has a chance of becoming a reality!

My last post was about a commitment to Exercise and (hopefully) losing weight. And right after i hit “publish,” i started speculating about the idea of “why a punishment for not doing good? Why not a reward for doing right?”

So that got me thinking, “Would a reward be better than a punishment? And if so, what would be a good (enough) reward that would incentivize me to stick with it the long-haul?”

That’s when i decided BOTH would be appropriate. In the short-term = punishment. In the long-term = reward.

And since the long-term is intended to end on/about my 50th birthday, what would i want as a birthday present AND reward for embracing Exercise with gusto?!?!

That’s when it hit me… to fulfill my ultimate fantasy…… so the rest of this is (mostly) from Sir’s perspective (you will know the difference!) and what i’d want him to do to reward me……… (gets long, but i want to get the whole thing on paper the way i see it in my head!)

LEADING ALL THE WAY TO MY BIRTHDAY….

I was impressed at how well she’s stuck to the goals of exercise and weight loss. Anytime she’s set her mind to something, she usually accomplishes it. But of course in this case, it hasn’t hurt that I have also punished her (severely) along the way to ensure she stays the right course too! It hasn’t required too many severe punishments for her to realize I was indeed serous about helping her reach this goal!

Don’t misunderstand, I’ve always loved her… no matter what she weighed or how in shape she was (or was not). And my love won’t change! But this was her idea and I said I’d help her to achieve it ….. so I have! I won’t deny she looks hotter than ever now with less weight and more muscle, but as I said before, I’ve always loved her no matter what.

She also knows I’ve been planning a big surprise reward birthday party for her to celebrate her 50th in style. I haven’t really given her too much information for almost 13-months now, except to tease her with hints. But as it gets closer, I’ve told her more and more. Today I said, “so, it’s almost your birthday and you are on track to meet your goals. I have the perfect birthday present for you!”

With a roll of the eyes, she said, “Yes, i know. You’ve been teasing me for months now!”

I didn’t like her tone so I reminded her to watch how she spoke and rolled her eyes at me! And then I continued, “Because our son isn’t going home and your birthday falls ON Thanksgiving….. I’ve decided that YOU will be what we feast upon!”

She looked at me completely confused and maybe if I read her right, a little bit of fear.

I answered her unspoken questions, “Yes! YOU will be our main course for the day! Oh we will make sure you eat as well, but honestly, that will be the least of your concerns that day!”

She just looked at me with inquisition and said, “WE Sir???”

“Yes, WE!”

I continued, “For several months now, I’ve been interviewing men of all ages, sizes, shapes, and colors. And I’ve captured the right mix of each who will be satisfied by YOU on that day. And of course, you’ll also be SO happy because it will indeed be a birthday you’ll NEVER forgot!”

Marie asked, “How many men Sir?”

I told her, “well, I can’t give away ALL the surprises! But just know, you’ll spend most of that day naked, being used, testing your submissiveness and of course also your new strength and endurance!”

TO BE CONTINUED……..

OKAY friends …. i decided to end this right here. i’ll post #2 and maybe even #3 soon…. but you’ll have to be patient and wait. ❤️

And as an update on the exercise front….. i “only” got to 5,500 steps yesterday and that was because i went for a 2-mile walk. Today, i have already hit 10,000 steps and the day isn’t over…. also with a 2-mile walk as well.

i did go buy new walking shoes though because the bottom of my feet already feel like they are rubbed a bit raw (like trying to form a blister …. on the bottom!).

As we were going to bed last night, David said, “Since it is Day 1, you had a decent start. But starting tomorrow (now “today”) you need to get to 10,000 steps or I will take action. When i asked for clarity what might the “action” be, he said, “I think I’ll ask you what is the step count sometime close’ish to bedtime, and if you haven’t reach the 10k, then you’ll have exactly 2-minutes to get your ass in the car.”

i looked with clear confusion on my face and said, “the car?”

He said, “Yes. And depending on how far off the step count you are will depend on how far away I drive. And when I stop, you’ll get it and walk home. I’ll stay closer enough to ensure you are walking home and safe, but far enough away that you won’t be able to get in the car either. You might not even see me at all. Hopefully I don’t have to use this ‘encouragement’ too often.”

When i asked of it would be “just enough” to get over the 10k steps and he laughed and said, “oh no! Most definitely farther. It will make you wish you’d just gotten the 10k and been done!”

Then i asked, “what if i’m not able to get myself in the car in 2-minutes…. like maybe i am not dressed, shoes, or move quick enough?”

And he had raised eyebrows when responding with, “do you really want to go there with this line of questioning??”

“No Sir.”

“I didn’t think so!”

So i either walk 10k steps on my own…. or a WHOLE lot more with “help”. i did indeed ask for severe and harsh punishment…. and i have already said that Me and Exercise are NOT BFF’s……. yet!

Hugs!

Marie

101 – consequences just don’t matter

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When our son was little (and long before D/s or DD…..and before “submission” was a word in my everyday vocabulary!) there was a family of 4-daughters who lived directly across the street. They made for amazing babysitters and it was just so absolutely wonderful, not to mention convenient!

Once when the oldest was over babysitting, she and i were chatting for a minute and i happened to ask her what her plans were for the rest of the weekend.

She said, “Unpack, wash/dry, and put away all the clothes and toiletries, plus my suitcase from our trip.” (They had just been back the day before from a 2-week long vacation.)

i remember commenting that was a lot considering they had JUST gotten back. And she said, “that’s what Dad said was the deadline. So I’ll get it done.”

That’s when i was curious, so i asked her, “what if you don’t?”

And she had a confused look about her and said, “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

i clarified and said, “well, what if you get busy or something comes up and you just don’t get it all cleaned and put away. What will happen?”

She said, “oh I’ll get it done. Nothing will get in the way of that.”

And i pressed her on it and said, “but what if you don’t?”

She just looked at me and squarely said, “I have no idea. Because it won’t happen. I WILL get it done because when my Dad tells me to do something, I do it. So the consequences are irrelevant.”

i remember being surprised that a teenager wouldn’t know what happened when she disobeyed. But the fact that she didn’t know, told me she submitted to her father’s authority and consequences were indeed irrelevant because she would never dream of committing the unthinkable.

Now as a submissive wife, i can look back on this and completely see where her head was at. This is basically true for me now too.

i wore a chastity belt to sleep, despite having the key. Despite knowing i could unlock myself if i really wanted to. But i didn’t. Why? Because i wanted to submit and to obey my husband’s wishes. i really don’t know what the ultimate consequences had been if i had unlocked myself (without good reason constituting an “emergency”).

There’s NO reason to know the consequences if they just don’t matter. Because knowing (or needing to know) the consequences is (IMO) akin to weighing your options… “how bad would it be if i DON’T do what i’m supposed to do?” With the ultimate thought basically being, “if the consequences aren’t too bad, then it won’t matter if i break the rule(s). And i just might do it!”

But that’s not how i want to think or to be. Being a true submissive wife calls for me to WANT to do what’s right and what he wants me to do. As opposed to me doing only what i want to do …. based on how bad the consequences are or what punishment i’m willing to endure (that day).

All this does is leads to strife. And too much strife in anyone’s life is just ….. “too much”. And that can and often does lead to bitterness, resentment, and turning away…. which can lead to a miserable life together OR divorce to find a better life apart.

So a submissive wife is one who wants to do right by him and doesn’t care what the consequences are. Because ultimately, the consequences just don’t matter as she won’t do it anyway……because in her mind…. it’s not an option.

And if i still fail to do what i’m supposed to…. DD will happen. Spanking. Domestic discipline enacted.

Why? Because we’ve made it where the consequences DO matter … we won’t “just” get in a fight…. there will be more!

And i accept it.

Hugs,

Marie

96 – Reverse Psychology

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i am struggling. i went from being afraid of chastity, to wanting it full time.

Why would i want it full time? Because it is preventative. i know i am not to touch myself without permission. But that’s easier said than done!

Prior to this rule in place, i touched myself in a seductive, sultry way every single day! And i made myself orgasm 2-4 times a week. Which being honest was ultimately not good. Because frequently i did it without Sir present and often him not even knowing…. where i hid it in the bedroom or bathroom to have “me” time. And it led to not wanting or having husband/wife time. Because when he was ready to do something, i was already “done” and not truly interested.

But as a result of how easy it was to satisfy my own needs, ever since this rule has been in place, i have struggled.

The official rule is “no masturbation and orgasm without permission.” So technically i can TOUCH myself…. in a seductive and sultry way. But the temptation is so great that one just simply leads to the next! And it’s easier to NOT do ouch at all then.

So the chastity belt was my idea. It would lock up what’s not mine. And Sir agreed.

Until it came. And it took me overcoming the mindset of how it looked. It looked mean and intimidating. But when i did, i saw it would be my new best friend! It was helpful and useful, and while tight fitting not hard to wear at all.

And that’s when he said, “it doesn’t need to be used that often.”

So now for a week, i have actually only worn it 3 x’s – Day 1: a couple hours, Day 2: 12-hours, and now today…. and not long yet, but we shall see.

i have all but BEGGED Sir to leave it on indefinitely or at least for a reallyyyyyyy long time.

He said, “NO. It’s not necessary.”

Well….. i am frustrated. If i can’t control myself and he won’t let me be proactive about it, that sets me up for failure. So why? Why not? Like what’s the reason WHY he had the NO answer????

And i asked him.

It was risky for me to be so bold. And i had tried (for a week now) to just accept it for what it is

[No means NO]. Right?? Shouldn’t have to be explained. Should be accepted as is.

But it has gotten the best of me today. And you are thinking, “why today if you are locked up?” Because being locked up feels good! i feel relief. i have removed the temptation and it is now not even a thing. i truly feel less stress with it on! And i thought, “W-H-Y can’t we just make this the norm? Why can’t i just wear it (mostly) all the time, except for Plan B times when he wants access and we are together… in which case i won’t touch anyway!”

So i said, “i don’t understand why you are hesitate to lock me in chastity more frequently. It would help me if you did.”

And i prayed, “Lord, let him hear my questioning in the GOOD way i am intending it to be!”

And he did.

His response was, “Because it will lose the effectiveness and make you think that when you don’t have it on that you can do what you want!”

So that’s opposite of what i was thinking really.

And i guess he might be right. i guess it may just allow me to be mentally lazy when i rely on it to prevent myself from touching if the belt is there….. and serve to set my mind (and fingers) into overdrive when it’s available.”

And let’s face it…. living in chastity 24/7 is NOT an option. Oh maybe for awhile…. sure…. but not as a viable, completely always that way option. In fact, in 6-days we are getting on a plane to go for a week vacation in the mountains of Colorado. It can’t be worn through security!

Although what i’d love to see the looks of TSA agents when they did a pat down and discovered it! I’m sure they’ve seen it all before… but i haven’t seen them seeing it all before! 😉. Of course…. perhaps that could lead to me being arrested and not getting on the plane at all too! And clearly, THAT is not an option…. which means chastity full time is also not an option!

So i guess i have to work on my mental submission being stronger…. i obviously struggle here and it will be something to overcome….. sometimes in chastity and well…. sometimes not.

i won’t deny…. i just wish he’d lock me up more often and allow me to have stress-free days. (Ok so not totally stress free…. but MORE stress free.)

Until next time…. locked in Chastity for now and am now off to have a relaxing STRESS FREE day!

Hugs,

Marie