Skip to main content

Tag: marriage

260 – Active submission

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 260 – Active submission

Offering to submit may be either passive, as in yielding or surrendering, OR it can be active, as in gifting or offering.

i have recently started listening to various podcasts as i get my exercise in for the day. (Usually i walk 1-3 miles a day in the morning hours, before work.)

i try to listen to self-help type podcasts, specifically with the “submissive wife” or D/s type of content. i look for instructional how-to type podcasts. Because our dynamic is 24/7, meaning it’s more than just sex-scenes, i like to hear about helpful advice and best practices for being a good submissive wife type podcasts.

Recently i listened to one that the author talked about “active submission.” What it means, what it is, how to do it, and so forth.

Active versus passive. Dominant versus submissive.

Generally speaking, many people think the words “active” and “Dominant” go together, while “passive” and “submissive” go together. In fact, when you look up the word “passive,” one of the synonyms is “submissive.”

It would seem to reason that if passive and submissive are synonyms, then active and submissive are antonyms. That’s not quite true though. In fact, the antonyms of the word “passive” is not active, but rather unyielding, resisting, and protesting.

So based on that, i would argue though that while the seemingly natural combined words of passive and submissive can go together, they don’t always have to be paired that way. i think the the words “active” and “submissive” can and should also be put together.

The word “active” is defined as “engaging or ready to engage in physically energetic pursuits.” Any spouse, Dominant or submissive, should all be engaged, or ACTIVE, in their marriage.

If you think about the development of a relationship, it starts with the dating phase. We are always at our best then. We want to actively spend time with one another, seek out ways to impress one another, and generally present ourselves in ways that are pleasing to one another.

Then we “get engaged.” i think it’s funny how we say, “engaged to be married,” in reference to those desirous and working toward the goal of standing at the altar and saying I do. Here again, we are actively pursuing one another and “engaged” in the relationship with one another.

However, once that goal is achieved (of being married), we don’t see “engaging” as necessarily part of the formula thereafter. Once we get married, we settle into things … house, work, kids, pets, and .. well, life. Yet, i think we should be engaging in our marriage too! If we were all actively engaging in marriage, we might just have more success in being happy and staying married. i am, of course, NOT a marriage counselor, but just go with me for a minute here too.

Recognizing we are not always active or always passive, we should indeed have a mindset to engage with our spouse in the moment and in the way it is needed too. Add to this too, for one to be active does not automatically imply the other must be passive. It’s not a give and take thing, but rather a give and give thing. For one (or more) to be active only implies that one (or more) others must be accepting, which should go both ways!

So what does active Dominance or active submission look like anyway?

As mentioned, active dominance seems to be a natural concept for most people, so i think that one is easy. It means the Dominant gives instruction, sets expectations, makes decisions, has control, and delivers consequences when the submissive does not (quite or fully) measure up.

Active submission may seem to be more challenging then, as it would seem two people can’t both be active at the same time. It would seem to stand that if the dominant is active, then by default the submissive must be passive. i would disagree because remember, active means engaging.

Active does not mean forceful or getting your way or being in charge. So even an active Dominant does not (or should not) imply they are automatically forceful. They just have to be engaged in the well being of the marriage and family dynamic so that they make the decisions. And then the submissive should work to be engaging (or “active”) and accepting, but NOT forceful.

This is a good place for me to say that this “active submission,” thought process hasn’t always been the way i’ve thought it was for a submissive. In fact, i would probably say i have thought a submissive is passive, while a Dominant is active. i used to think this because as a sub, i thought we had nothing more to do that to follow orders. The extent of the “active” submission was to accept orders and to accept punishments, whenever the Dominant decided either was appropriate. But even then, in some ways, a submissive has to actively decide to accept the orders and punishments. But now, i know it’s really more than that…..

A few ways a submissive can be active include:

1) A submissive should seek out ways to serve. A submissive should observe her Dominant partner and find ways to serve him without him even having to ask.

i have known for ages that David drinks his coffee black. He only drinks one cup, almost immediately after waking up. And i am (almost always) up and awake before him.

i enjoy my morning quiet time on the couch drinking my coffee, surfing the net, writing to you, etc. i rarely turn on lights or tv, as i like the quiet and to watch the sun rise to light up the room naturally. i nearly always hear David when he wakes up. He’s not loud, but without artificial sounds in the house, just the natural noise that comes from the bedroom is audible.

i recently decided i should be more active in my submission and get his cup of coffee ready for him as he arises. So now, when i hear his stirrings, i hop up and make his coffee. By the time he comes out of the bedroom, i am standing at the ready for him to take his cup, kiss and greet me, and he goes off to drink his cup in peace.

It has come as a bit of a joyful surprise to him that i am doing this as he knows how much i enjoy my morning quiet time, and he has more or less left me to it in the past. i suspect at some point he will simply come to expect this level of active submits be part of our routine and not something to necessarily thank me for.

i do it because i have sought out a way to serve him actively. And he has noticed! First he was surprised, then he was pleasantly happy, and now he’s come to expect it. It when as he expects it, he is gracious and appreciative of it too.

(And in the last 2-weeks since our son has left for college, i do all this in the nude. This is intentional on my part too. i actively want David to see his cup of coffee and my naked body, ready to serve him, first thing in the morning as he rises. What better way to wake up and start the day could there be?!)

2) A submissive should respond with enthusiasm. When her Dominant asks (or expects) her to perform a task, do it happily and cheerfully and not begrudgingly.

While admittedly there are times i just don’t want to do it, i should first ask myself why. And if no legitimate reason exists, then do it. And do it with joy outwardly AND inwardly!

A dominant and a submissive can both be active. Here’s an example of a possible dialogue between David and i:

David: “Marie, I’d like to have a second cup of coffee today. Could you bring me one?””

Me: “Yes Sir.” (And i retrieve it).

Upon delivering the second cup….

David: “thank you.”

Sometimes i just say, “you are welcome Sir.” And sometimes i also say something like, “i enjoy being used and serve you Sir, in all ways. i look forward to the next opportunity to do so.”

This lets David know how happy i am to serve but i have actively responded with enthusiasm to his request by: 1) responding quickly and without delay, 2) filled his request the way that was pleasing, justas he asked, 3) opened the door for him to feel comfortable to give me more orders/ requests, where he now knows i will respond with enthusiasm.

3) A submissive should be observant and anticipate his needs. Whether it be sexual or otherwise, a submissive can provide active service to her Dominant when she’s observant to his needs.

When i notice David is sneezing, and when i am observant, i go get him a tissue, or the allergy medicine, or nose spray. He notices. He is thankful.

When i notice he is stressed out and tense, i ask if i can make things better by giving him a massage. Usually when he says yes to this, i try to get naked first. Sometimes nothing comes of it, but occasionally it does.

When i can make it a sensual massage, i do. Of course, he’s in charge and let’s me know if it’s ok to touch him sexually or not. And when he touches my body parts as i touch him, it (typically) leads right into an amped up sexual energy and release for both of us! (Oh la la!)

4) A submissive should never forget. When David gives me a task that can’t be done immediately, i (try hard) to not forget. Like when he texts and says, “Can you pick up more milk on your way home?” i can’t forget.

When i do forget, it gives the impression that i just don’t care enough about his request or about him as my Dominant to do as i was asked. David perceives this as disrespectful (another reference to Respect!) and he becomes incredibly irritated, if not mad, when i forget.

He says things like, “Now how am I supposed to finish cooking our dinner if you didn’t get the milk I needed? You just didn’t care enough to do as I asked.”

While i wouldn’t say it’s true (that i don’t care), it certainly presents like that!

So i give myself active reminders to ensure i don’t forget, like leaving myself a Post it note in my car, on my steering wheel. As i get in the car and see the note, i grab it up and hold it in my hand while i drive home. i make a point to not let go of it so that it is constantly “touching me” and i can’t (easily) forget.

i used to forget things like this ALL the time! i would apologize, promise to do better, make excuses about why i forgot and move on. And do it again. All it did was irritate and rub David raw. Of course, that was pre-DD (domestic discipline) and before he had alternative ways to handle his annoyance!

Now though, i just try to be an active submissive wife and try to never forget. It’s easier and ultimately better this way!

5) An active submissive should dress in ways that are pleasing to him. Always.

i never used to have the confidence to dress in ways that are pleasing to him, because i frequently saw it as slutty. Now, i frequently still think it is slutty, but i don’t care. If that’s what he wants, that’s what he gets!

i used to worry about what people might think if they saw me “that way.” Now i think, “let them think what they want. My husband is the only one who’s opinion matters, and he likes it when i dress this way.”

David has always asked me to wear short, cut off jean shorts. They were in style when we were first married and are once again in style (no comments about how old i am to see styles come and go and come again!). i NEVER even owned them before, let alone wore them. Now. Now i own two pairs and wear them every chance i get!

Likewise, he loves it when i wear low cut shirts too. i have large boobs and always worried about flashing people and hanging out too far. Now. Now i know if i am “too far” out, David will tell me. And then i will change it. But until then, i let the girls hang out as far as they want to. And i do it all with pride and confidence, because i am actively submitting to David’s will!

i actively seek out ways to dress in a pleasing manner to David. And i do with it with joy in my heart!

And then there is sex. A wife should always be available to her husband. While it can be overt or under cover, or somewhere in between, a wife should be a sexually pleasing being for her husband. i would say this is ultimately true for all wives, but especially ACTIVE submissive wives.

i would say since becoming David’s submissive wife, we have more (and better) sexual encounters than we ever did before. Why? Because i present myself in an inviting way that lets David know i WANT him.

i want HIM sexually, and non-sexually too, as my husband in any way he wants to give himself to me. He may choose not to do anything sexually at all, but when he does, i want him to always know i am open and available and ready. That holds true whenever and wherever he wants too.

He’s never going to do anything that gets either of us arrested, so i am never concerned about him asking for sex or sexual activity anywhere inappropriate. But if he wanted to throw me down in the grocery store aisle…. i’d let him! (But i know he never would!)

He calls me his submissive slut wife because i have slowly converted from being his prude wife to being a submissive wife to now being a submissive slut wife. i am proud to say, he’s right.

Why am i proud to be called a slut? Well, first i would only ever allow David to call me that. And second, he says it because i am that actively engaged in sexual activity with him that, like a slut, i make myself THAT wet and THAT eager and THAT desirous of it.

i flirt with David with my words and my touch, i rub against him, i talk slutty to him, i beg for his cock, and i am naked whenever i can be.

Oh, and a funny thing happens when you turn on those aroused sexual feelings all the time too. You suddenly want more. You can’t seem to get enough. And it fuels the submissive SLUT fore inside, that most every man would be excited about!

i even thank him every time for allowing me to touch, feel, and orgasm from whatever sexual activity he provided me. Sometimes i even thank him for saying no. While he usually laughs and thinks i am being sarcastic at this one, i explain that i AM thankful because he took the time to lead us and our marriage, thought it out, and he decided the answer was “no.”

But i NEVER say no to him. Ever. Not anymore. As i am an active submissive (slut) wife who wants and accepts his sex every-single-time he offers it to me! You could say i worship his cock and i give it the praise it is due!

i will end with….. these are just some of the ways i have become David’s ACTIVE SUBMISSIVE WIFE.

There are many, many, more ways. What would you add to the list? What do you do to be an active submissive or an active dominate?

i’d love to hear what else you’d add to the list! Comment below and let me hear from you.

Hugs,

Marie

259 – 24-hours. Is a long time.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 259 – 24-hours. Is a long time.

In chastity. Alone. As my Sir is away from home, i am locked up. i don’t have self control. Not enough anyway. i have a propensity to play with myself, without permission when left to my own devices. But not this time.

David left this morning and is home tomorrow morning. As i dressed this morning, the belt went on. And he hid the key somewhere in our house. i can ask for it if i truly need it, and i suppose i might could possibly find it if i looked. But. i won’t. i won’t ask or search on my own. Because i can do this. i am strong enough to endure.

i need to do this.

i need to prove i can follow orders.

i need to prove i can be strong.

i can be a good girl.

As David left, he kissed me, said how much he loved me, and then said, “Tryyyy to be a good girl.”

i laughed. i rolled my eyes. i said, “it’s a bit difficult to be bad when i am locked up Sir.” i am saying “Sir” a wholeeee lot now!

He smiled and said, “I’m sure you could find a way of you wanted to. But I’m sure you don’t. Correct?”

“Correct Sir.”

So how how did it go anyway?! Glad you asked….

6:15 a.m.

i went to David and as i was naked, i stood in front of him and spread my legs. And then i said, “it’s nearly time to lock up. Do you want to touch her before you leave?”

He looked at my puss and said, “nope! Sure don’t! Be sure to bring me the keys.”

Well, i wanted to pout. And beg. But i didn’t. Thankfully! Instead, i was a good girl and went to shower, dress, and lock up. Tight. Even though he hasn’t touched her in 2-full days now, i was determined to be good.

7:00 am

While tucked snuggly into place under her belt, i grabbed the lock and snapped it in place. With that, i handed David the key. He smiled and thanked me for being a good girl and asked if i am ready for this. i responded truthfully, “yes…and no…Sir.” Gotta get the “Sir” in there now too!

He then said, “go wait for me in the car.” He was hiding the key from my sight.

And i drove him to the airport. We talked about mundane things. Anything BUT the steel between my legs!

Meanwhile ALL i could think about is the next 24-hours…. How will i make this happen? If i ask for the key early, will that be disappointing for me or him or both?! The belt is already a bit chafing… maybe it’s just not positioned correctly… or maybe I just haven’t settled into the feeling of it yet…. So seriously, how will i make it 24-full hours like this…. how i wanted to rip the belt off and be a normal person. i know i am NOT normal. Is that a bad thing though?!

After dropping him at the airport, i drove to my office. As i drove, all these wild thoughts were in my head about this belt. That’s when my free hand wandered down into my pants. i knew i couldn’t touch myself for real but i had a desire to touch the metal with my bare hand. i wanted to touch it and see just how “real” this 24-hours of restricted access feels like.

And i worked to reposition it to a less chafing position. It didn’t move though, at least not much anyway. It’s not supposed to really. That’s the whole point. Restricted access means it won’t move from the full coverage it provides!

Then i pressed straight onto the plate itself. i wanted to know more about how my pussy would feel inside the plate if it felt pressed from the outside. No, i hadn’t really done that when i have worn it previously.

In times before, i respected (or feared) the belt enough too much to even try to see if i could get a stimulant from the outside. But this time is different. This time feels more like an intimate and close friend. And as close as we are, i need to know your friendliness meter. This time i am wearing this for a full 24-hours and i wanted to know if i could stimulate (okay, fine …call it what it is, “masturbate”) myself at all, and of so, how would it feel.

This was a no-go. While i could feel pressure on the outer edges of the plate, where the edge of the belt meets my thighs, it was nowhere near my pussy opening or clit! They felt absolutely zero. Nothing. Nada. As far as my pussy was concerned, there wasn’t anything but darkness in her world! She saw no light, heard no sound, and felt no pressure.

i couldn’t decide if i was pleased about this or not. But i did accept chastity willingly, heck i asked for it! So i suppose in the sense this is exactly what I need and asked for… i like it. It’s effective! And the belt may be close and intimate, but she has zero desire to be my friend.

8:00 a.m.

i arrive at work after a bit. i wonder if anyone can tell i am different today. i know they can’t see anything through my clothes as the belt is fully covered and inconspicuous. But can they see the difference in my demeanor? No, i am sure they can’t see that either, to which i am really kinda disappointed actually! i feel different, so shouldn’t they see how different i am? No, they don’t notice.

But let’s face it, people are always preoccupied to notice things like a chastity belt on their coworker which is causing her to talk, walk, and act just a bit differently today. Of course, i couldn’t tell you anything about any of them either. Why? Because i was too preoccupied trying to look normal and to see if they notice i am not acting normal. There’s the word “normal” again.

In fact, i am really rather distracted at work. i am comfortable in my chair with the belt on, but will it stay that comfortable when i stand up? Maybe i should practice doing that (standing and sitting) now so if i have to do it later in front of someone else, i will know if it will make noise at the wrong time, or squeeze my labia to painful moments, or something else i haven’t even thought of too.

Never mind… i have to focus and get work done already!

10:00 a.m.

i am quite thankful i have very few scheduled meetings today. i can hide out in my office and be less conspicuous. At least i hope that’s what happens.

But i have to pee. Oh here we go!

10:30 a.m.

Oh geez. i really have to use the bathroom now. i have held it in for 30-minutes but that’s the best i can do. i have to do this. In the belt. Okay, here we go.

There are holes in the belt shield for this purpose, but it feels so humiliating. It feels like i am peeing in my clothes, like a little kid or something. All of which is weird, so i have to truly concentrate on relaxing my muscles and just let it flow.

And when it does, while it ends up where it should in the toilet, it’s not a single stream but a spread out all over stream. Causing a bit of a question if there’s still urine trapped between my labia folds and the belt.

So now i have to wipe. As good as possibly can be done anyway. And i wipe some more. And for good measure, I wipe more. i hold the belt out as far as possible with one hand, suck in my gut, and try to press paper in there to soak up the urine. i think urine is gross anyway, so i want to be as clean and dry as possible, which takes a lot of effort!

Okay, that accomplished, won’t lie.. that was worse in my head than in reality. So, back to work now.

11:30 a.m.

Time for lunch. Together with 4-coworkers, we go out to a Mexican restaurant together. While I could care less about the strangers, i worry if may coworkers can hear the metal plate clanging around as i walk. i wonder if getting in and out of their car together will be the obvious defining moment to give away the fact that i am different today. i watch their moves to see if they hear it, tune in to it, or wonder why it’s coming from my torso! Nothing.

This is all good, right?

12:30 p.m.

Back at the office and back at my desk. And seriously, time to be normal and just get some work done already!

But i feel like i want to tell someone about my belt. i want someone to see. i want to see the shock on their face and me giggle at it. But that’s not normal. i wouldn’t show my coworkers my underwear, so why would i show them this steel belt?!

Because now David’s plane has landed, i decide to tell David about this “desire” to show off. The response i got back was, “hmm.” Not what i was expecting really. i thought he would chastise me (get that pun there!? Lol) for wanting to show off my chastity belt! No matter, the “hmm” was likely all i really needed, and he didn’t have to rub it in. i knew that was ultimately what he thought!

1:30 p.m.

Now i am finally into a groove for work productivity. i have accomplished some things and need to keep going.

The belt isn’t chafing at all now. i wonder if my earlier thoughts of the chafing were just my body needing to settle into the feelings of being pressed upon by the metal.

If the rest of the afternoon continues like this, i will definitely get all the way to tomorrow morning without having to ask for the key! i won’t disappoint Sir or myself! Now i am hopeful. And determined too.

2:30 p.m.

Oh here we go back to the bathroom again. Alright, i can do this. i already did it once today, not to mention it had done it in the belt before too.

No idea why i am such a head case about this. This time, i even go to another floor in my building. i noticed the lock made some noise as i pulled my pants down last time. If a coworker is in the bathroom at the same time, they would notice it and it’s a 2-person stall bathroom. They would know it was coming from me.

Suddenly it occurs to me that I have gone from wanting them to notice, to wanting to show it off, to now not wanting anyone to know at all.

Them NOT knowing is really the right answer.

On the other floor and in the bathroom, this time it went even easier than last time. Practice makes perfect. Do i want to be perfect at this? To be perfect means i am doing this a lot, meaning i am wearing the belt a lot. Yes, i want this! This is good for me!

3:30 p.m.

Never even saw the clock in this hour. That’s a good thing.

This belt has become my new-normal. And that’s a good thing too!

4:30 p.m.

Another easy and productive hour! Yah. i got this.

i am confident now i can make it to tomorrow. i see nothing standing in my way. i AM A CHASTITY GIRL!

But i am not even officially to 12-hours yet and a lot of time still in front of me!

5:30 p.m.

Time to go to a fast dinner with my sister. i know she won’t notice or see my belt in any way. i have gotten used to standing, walking, sitting in it now. And i am accepting of it as i have figured out how to manage with it physically and mentally too, so there’s no chance of me acting weird either.

It was a pleasant meal. We talked about mundane things, which is how it should be.

6:30 p.m.

It is Wednesday. Every good (Southern Baptist) girl goes to church on Wednesday night for an hour of bible study and to commune with like-minded people.

i am in a bible study that just kicked off last week. But not only am i in it, i lead it. i am standing in the front of the “class” for ladies bible study, while walking around, with them sitting down.

Their eyes are level with my crotch. i wonder if anyone has laser beam vision to see straight through my pants to the metal i am wearing. But that would be a super hero move, and while still pretty awesome, no one in this room is a super hero, at least that i know of anyway.

Maybe i am a super hero, with my own plate shield to protect me from all kinds of evil, real or perceived. My most intimate part is under full protection. From what? From myself. And everyone else too!

7:30 p.m.

i drive home. After getting home, i text David to let him know i am home and thinking of him. And i get naked.

i exchange some banter with Sir by saying, “maybe i need to have the key now to unlock this belt and be fully naked now.”

He responds with, “not a chance! You can ask, but you won’t get it. You are as naked now as you are going to get.”

“But then what if i need the key?! How would you know how desperately i need it?”

“You won’t.”

“But how will you know that Sir?” (forgot the “Sir” with previous texts. Not sure if he noticed! Hope not for my sake.)

“Because you made it this far without asking. Besides you are just stubborn enough that you won’t ask.”

“You are probably correct Sir.”

“Probably???”

“Ok, i know you are correct, but i don’t want to admit i am that stubborn.”

“Hmm”. (That little word is really multipurpose.)

8:30 p.m.

As i was doing little things around the house like picking up/cleaning, watching tv, playing ball with the dog, i opened a drawer to put something away.

There lays the key.

To my belt.

Right there.

Do i tell David i found it? He will think i went looking for it. But i can explain. But i didn’t do anything wrong to need to report ether. Does it matter that i found it if i don’t touch it, and definitely not use it?

Just shut the drawer and pretend i never saw it.

But i can’t unsee it.

Besides, i am getting tired of this belt now too. It’s not so friendly at all anymore, not that it was any too friend,y from the start anyway! But now the excitement of it has definitely worn off. i could escape and sleep well and no one would have to know.

But i would know.

Just shut the drawer and walk away!

9:00 p.m.

Time to use the bathroom again. Damn bladder.

i can just go get the key, unlock myself, use the toilet, and relock back. That would make the bathroom experience so much easier and better. And i could ensure a good wipe. That would help me sleep better, knowing i am clean under this belt.

But it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Forget about the key already!

Damn key.

i am a good girl. i am a good girl. Keep telling myself that.

And i am. And i did. And i left the key in its place and used the bathroom in the belt.

Damn belt.

10:00 p.m.

“Go lay down and read. Or write in the blog. Or play a stupid game on your iPad. Hell, go to sleep. But forget about that damn key!”

“You are nearly to the morning. All you have to do now is sleep. And be a good girl.” is what i told myself.

And that’s what i did.

i put a pillow between my legs as i always do, to help give me a straight back as i lay on my side (per chiropractor, this is helpful and i am now used to it.)

It feels good between my legs. i want to masturbate. Maybe if i hump the pillow a little it will help.

Damn pillow.

Humping it does nothing good. In fact, it probably made it worse as the frustration is no seriously amped up to a higher notch!

Now i just need to orgasm that much more, without any ability to do anything about it. No orgasm for me.

Damn key.

i am a good girl, i am a good girl, I AM A GOOD GIRL!!!

Turn over and go to sleep already! And i did.

Seriously… i AM a good girl, despite the damn key!

5:30 a.m.

i slept really good. i don’t remember waking up one time, turning over, dreaming, nothing. i feel quite relaxed now.

And only about 2’ish more hours and my Sir will be home and the belt will come off.

i even use the restroom without even thinking twice. AND without being unlocked. Who cares about the damn key, because I AM A GOOD GIRL!

6:30 a.m.

He has landed. He’s taking an Uber home.

Woo hoo! Can’t wait to see him. Oh how i miss him when he’s gone. While i have been hyper focused on the belt, i have an even more interest in seeing him, my Sir!

7:30 a.m.

He’s home! i greet him with the biggest smile and kiss. Naked. Except of course, for the belt.

He says, “Wow. I love this greeting! This is wonderful. Is this for spending 24-hours all locked up??”

“i am just happy to see you Sir.”

“I can tell. But I have been gone for 24-hours before and never gotten this wonderful of a welcome home. I think it’s the belt that’s done this.”

“i won’t lie Sir, it has made me focus the last 24-(plus) hours. It is incredibly effective.”

“I should say so. Make no mistake, we will be using it more now that I witness it’s effects on your demeanor.” (Someone noticed the change in me. Just not my co-workers. And that’s ok, as the only person i truly care to notice is my Sir!)

“Good thing the fitted belt is coming soon Sir. It will probably be more effective than this one.”

“Perfect. I’m so proud of you for being obedient and wearing this belt for the duration. I wasn’t sure you would or could. But now it’s time to get you out of this and give you the reward you’ve earned!”

Yippie for me!

i am now off here… and out of the belt …and getting to orgasm in a big way! i wonder how soon it is until Sir has another out-of-town trip!?

Hugs,

Marie

257 – Out of sight, out of mind – Fiction

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 257 – Out of sight, out of mind – Fiction

“I have decided to keep you in the chastity belt for a good long time. I want to start using you, my beautiful slut wife, only for your back hole skills. I have given this a lot of thought and I believe it will be good for both of us. I believe the best way for you to learn how to ignore your pussy as much as I intend to ignore it, is by having it covered the majority of the time. Out of sight, out of mind!”

When Sir said “covered,” he meant with my chastity belt. He ordered it on soon after we finished our breakfast the morning he made his announcement.

As he locked it in place, he said, “this will be good for you to learn to be even more submissive in all ways. Lately it seems your pussy has just become entirely too needy. You think with your cunt and not with your mind. You seem to think that your submission is just for sex, but you are my submissive all the time and in all ways. Correct?”

As he spoke i couldn’t help but think what he said was true. My pussy had become needy and i wasn’t sure anymore if i was serving my Sir because i wanted to, or because she wanted me to. My puss knew if i did good, he would reward her with the orgasms she loved to get. So was my submission of my own volition or her neediness?!

So when Sir asked if he was correct, i knew he was. i told him i was happy to submit myself to him in ALL ways, and if that meant no pussy then no pussy he shall receive. But that was nearly a month ago now, and this has been harder than i imagines! i yearn for my pussy to have escape and to be touched.

i have spent more hours IN chastity than OUT! And every hour out has been highly supervised where i heard, “I can’t trust you to not touch your pussy. I think you will give it the attention and satisfaction you think it needs.”

Unfortunately no truer words were spoken. Admittedly, had i even received 2-minutes of unsupervised and uncovered minutes, my pussy would absolutely be satisfied and dripping with the biggest orgasm i have had in a long time… perhaps ever.

Oh don’t misunderstand me, i have had orgasms during this month. But all were a direct result of my anal hole being fucked and deriving all good and pleasurable things from that sexual stimulation alone. My Sir hasn’t even played with my clit or allowed that type of orgasm.

In fact, one evening, he took the belt off and told me he was going to make love to me. He told me to “lay on the bed on your back. I want to take you now my love.” And my heart absolutely melted. i was already naked, so it took just a second for me to lay down and spread my legs.

As he came towards me, he saw how wet my pussy was as it glistened with pre-cum juice. His eyes moved from my wet pussy to my smiling face where he said, “that is a beautiful looking pussy. But I meant it when I told you that I’m now turning you into my anal-only slut wife. You need to learn to find pleasure in receiving my cock into your ass, and not into your desperate pouty looking pussy. Do I make myself clear?”

With a disappointed look and a pity face that matched my pussy, i responded dutifully with the expected, “Yes Sir.”

He became slightly irritated and said, “if you’d rather not feel and enjoy my cock at all, I can certainly arrange that.”

“Oh no Sir, please use my holes in any way that you find desirous. i love pleasing you Sir, i only just wish i would get to enjoy your cock in my pussy too.”

With that, he lay down between my legs and on my chest where i felt his rock hard cock against my belly and even pressing on the top of my clit too and he kissed me deeply. He told me how he knew what i desired, but he also knew what he felt was best. He told me how good i was and how much he loved me. Oh how I love to please my Sir! My pussy was throbbing and so wet!

While every man can press his cock into whichever hole he wants without even looking, my Sir pulled back from me and sat back onto his legs. He was indeed looking at my holes and when he said, “I want to be sure to press my beautiful cock into the right hole. I don’t want any miscommunication happening by accidentally pressing myself into your needy cunt because your anal hole is the only hole I want anymore!”

And with that, i felt the tip of his cock press against my anus and start to move inside. With nearly a month of anal-only, my ass has started to accept him willingly and open up for him more easily. It doesn’t hurt at all as my ass has stretched and learned to accommodate him at the very touch of the tip of his beautiful cock!

He pressed in and past my sphincter muscle, where gratefully he has almost always paused for me to catch my breath, and he did again this time too. But as soon as he could feel my entire body muscles all relax, he pressed into me fully and as deeply as he could. i felt his balls hit the outside of my ass as his cock was buried deep inside me.

After he was sure he hit the right hole, he laid back down on my chest where we were face to face and close together. He hadn’t pinned or restrained me physically really, but we both knew i wouldn’t move without permission or direction. His arms and chest surrounded me and made me feel warm and loved as he pressed his cock in and out of my anal hole with passionate slow loving motions. He kissed me deeply too. He moved from my face and into my neck where i heard him say, “you are the most magnificent submissive slut wife I could have ever asked for!”

To which i responded, “oh thank you Sir for your love and kind words. i love how you chose to use me. Your cock feels perfect inside me Sir!”

He pressed his lips down onto my boob, licking hard at it, and then pulling on my nipple with his teeth. It made me groan and arch my back in pleasure.

As he let go of my nipple, it came out of his mouth with a big ‘pop’ sound and slapped back down to my chest. It was a pleasurable pain and i moaned into his ear with thanks.

With that, he raised up on his arms and started to truly focus on fucking me. i couldn’t tell if he was intent on making love to me for me, or for him. It didn’t really matter, he was happy and that made me happy. i truly love being his slut wife and being used in a way that’s ultra pleasing to him. I derive my joy from his! Always!

While he started slowly, he started picking up speed. He was moving in and out of my ass with intention. Now i knew the love making ended and the fucking was beginning. My job is to take every bit he gives me, and be joyous in it while willingly urging him to give me more!

And that’s what i did too! “Please Sir, give me all of your cock! Get it deep inside my ass. Fuck me harder than ever before!”

And that got him really focused. i stared into his eyes as he became laser focused on his desires to fill my ass with his cum. i started begging for it. “Please Sir, fill me up! i want to drip your seed from my ass all day long. Give it to me!”

With that though, he decided it was time to flip me over. He pulled out and sat back, taking a breath of air as he said, “turn over and up on all 4’s. NOW bitch!” i adore his pet names for me when he is in the passion of the moment. i know what i am to him at this moment, and that is his needy bitch in heat!

He pressed his cock toward my opening, but i could feel it was my pussy and not my ass. i wasn’t sure if he knew or if i should say something really. i so BADLY wanted to have him use my cunt and not just my ass, but if i am nothing else, i am a good submissive slut wife!

As he started to press in all the way, i laid down on the bed forcing his cock out. He slapped down hard on my ass and yelled out, “you dumb bitch! What the fuck was that? You don’t ever get to deny my cock in your ass!”

i tried to object and to explain, “but Sir….”

He slapped my ass again, harder than the first and said, “NO! Get back in position before I punish you for making me lose focus on my desire to fill your ass with my seed!”

And i got back into position without another word. But he started to press into the wrong hole once again. While i so desperately wanted it to be his right hole, i knew he wouldn’t agree that it was.

So i took another approach and sat up on my knees. And insisted on getting my words out, “But Sir… you are penetrating the wrong hole.”

“The wrong hole? I am taking your ass and leaving that pouty needy cunt untouched! Don’t tell me your ass is the wrong hole!”

“No. Sir, i mean to say you were pressing against my pussy opening and about to penetrate me there. As much as i wish it were the right hole, i know in my heart that’s not how you want to take me anymore. i wanted to make you aware before it was too late.”

With that, he grabbed my chin and pulled my head around to him as far as it would go. He pressed his tongue into my mouth and kissed my mouth with passion. When he was done kissing me he said, “you are an amazing slut wife. I love how you are beginning to accept my decision to only use your back-hole now. Thank you for telling me.”

He then pressed me back onto position on all 4’s and used his hand to guide his cock back onto what he deemed the right hole, my ass hole. When he pressed slowly all the way in again, he held himself there for just a minute. He pressed his chest down onto my back and i felt his hands come around either of my sides and cup my big boobs. One boob filling each hand. And he began to use them as leverage to move in and out of my ass. Soon he started to push and pull on my tits as he was pumping my ass faster and faster. i felt his balls bang up against my clit, and while it felt so titillating, it was such a reminder that my clit nor my puss was going to be used tonight at all. He started going as fast and hard as he could, and my boobs were on fire as he squeezed and pulled on them harder and harder too. He was pulling them taut to allow himself to pull back as far as possible, then he slammed his cock deep into my ass and he repeated. He did this over and over, as fast as he could too.

It was just a matter of minutes before i felt the need to orgasm. This was such a huge turn on and i heard myself begging, “Please Sir, may i cum?”

He didn’t respond. He was so focused on willing himself closer to orgasm too. i know from past times that i am NOT allowed to orgasm without his express approval, so i focused on holding in my desires… as best i could anyway. But the urge to orgasm was becoming too much as he pumped my ass more and more, so i begged with more intensity. “Pleaseeee Sirrrr, may i cum NOW? i can’t hold it in any more.”

He grunted out, “No. You are my anal whore and I want you for one-single-reason- right NOW!”

As he said “now,” he pressed deep into my ass and held himself there. i felt his cock flex in my ass where i knew he unloaded his cock fully into my ass. He filled me with his hot cum.

i was grateful to be his cum dump when it happened, as i barely managed to NOT orgasm (without permission) myself . While i SO wanted and even needed to orgasm, i had no desire to be punished for it either. i could tell that tonight was about him and his needs, not my own.

Sir finally pulled his cock out of my ass and fell onto the bed beside me. i collapsed into his arms as he opened them for me saying, “come here my sweet love.” ilove how he calls me the names that so fit in the moment. i know i am his anal bitch, slut wife, submissive whore, but i am also the love of his life, the submissive wife of his dreams, and his sweet love.

We laid there a minute when he asked if i enjoyed serving him. Of course i did! And i told him so. i also took this time to ask him, “Sir, while i love serving you in any capacity you see fit, including denial of my own orgasm, you’ve never told me why you want only anal sex. Do you not love my pussy anymore?”

His hand cupped my chin and pressed my head back so that i was looking him in the eye. He said, “oh my sweetheart, I very much love your pussy. I just need to teach you some lessons right now. This has been a very long test for you. And while you are getting better, unfortunately you aren’t quite there yet either.”

He continued, “your entire body needs to submit to me fully. Before we put the chastity belt on your needy cunt and before I started limited your ability to receive pussy orgasms for this last month, you served me when you wanted to. You seem to only be a good submissive when you want to have your pussy played with and to achieve your own needy orgasm.”

i was in a bit of shock as he said this, as i wholly didn’t see it that way.

But he saw my surprise and said, “Before you go thinking I am wrong, think about it more deeply. Even tonight, when I told you I was going to make love to you, your eyes lit up. And when I reminded you I was only going to use your back hole, you and your pussy both began to pout. You tried to get your way instead of being happy to serve me in any way, especially in the way I wanted you to!”

He continued even more, “of course, you did speak the truth to me when I nearly penetrated your puss. I did that on purpose to see how needy and selfish you’d be, but to my surprise, you didn’t allow me inside your puss and owned your position tonight. That was a huge test that you passed.”

As he said all this, i was shocked even more to know that he didn’t accidentally try to press his cock into my pussy but rather he was testing me! i wasn’t sure how i felt about this, but i did know how right he was. i hadn’t been the best submissive wife i could be, but really rather selfish lately. There was nothing to say as these realizations settled upon me.

He smiled and said, “Don’t beat yourself up too much sweet girl, as you are getting better. Tonight was the best it’s been in awhile. Unfortunately though, you and I both know you aren’t quite there and your training needs to continue. So before you do officially fail to submit to me, let’s get you cleaned up and back in your belt!”

He watched me wash myself and when i was clean and dry he said, “now go lay on the bed and let’s get your needy pussy locked back in her place. One day she will learn to be grateful when she’s used, and not so sad or rejected when she’s not.”

As i laid down on the bed, where Sir had already laid the belt out, my legs straddled the metal. The belt around my hips and the strap through my legs were all too familiar now. Sir pulled the strap up and over my pussy where the cold steel was laid on top of my mound and covered her up. And then the sides were pulled into place too. All that was left was to wait to hear the tell tale sound of the lock clicking into place, which it did just a minute later.

He stood back and said, “oh my chastity queen, you look simply beautiful! I love seeing you in nothing but a belt that only I have the key to!”

“Now, I am really rather tired after this workout I’ve had tonight and we have work tomorrow, so let’s snuggle in for a good night’s sleep. Maybe in another month we can see if you are ready to submit your entire body to me fully and 100%. Until then, I’ll continue your anal use and ignore that pussy.”

i won’t lie, i had hoped he’d at least touch my clit as he locked her up. i guess my submission is not as complete as i would like to think. Alas, maybe one day…. Just not THIS day.

And with that, he climbed in bed beside me, turned off the light, and said, “I love you so dearly my love. Sleep well.”

“You too Sir. Thank you Sir for all you do for me!”

And i fell asleep wearing nothing but my chastity belt and wrapped in my Sir’s arms.

Hugs,

Marie

254 – Submission choosing me… (to pick the margaritas)

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 254 – Submission choosing me… (to pick the margaritas)

i have said that “i didn’t choose submission, that submission chose me.” In this post, i intend to expand on that entire thought….

When i think back to my younger days, and even all the way back to my childhood, i would say that while i didn’t recognize it as such at the time, i have always had a submissive personality. i even contemplated the nature vs nurture thing here, and i honestly don’t know which it is.

What i know is, i have always been and always will be a submissive.

In trying to organize my thoughts on how to expand on this, i did a search of “personality traits of a submissive.” i then read through quite a few of the articles, and many of the sites portrayed being submissive as a negative thing. Many made it seem as if all submissives are in abusive relationships and need to be saved. One even said to seek therapy and “aggressive counseling.” i laughed at that one! If you couldn’t guess already, i am NOT abused, NOT in need of save for or therapy. Okay, maybe the therapy, but still. Lol!

While i can see that it could and probably does happen in some relationships (that a submissive is taken advantage of and/or is abused), this isn’t how it has to be or always is. And i would think the opposite is true too, that a dominant person could be taken advantage of and/or abused. i guess i would say that it just shouldn’t be assumed that submissive = abused. i know that’s not true for me for sure!

That said, i did find several articles that listed a lot of traits that i’d say pretty well define me, and i compiled my own listing in the process. Here’s my list along with some dialogue too!

Now to expand on those things above, as it relates to me personally

PEOPLE PLEASER (or “conflict avoidance”)

One character trait that shows up on every personality test i have ever taken is that i am a people pleaser. i like to see people happy and to the extent that i can make that happen, i do.

The old adage that says, “you can’t make all the people happy all the time,” is absolutely true, but it always causes me anxiety too. While i recognize and freely state that it’s absolutely true, when i am put into the position of being the one to decide who will be made happy and who is to be made UNhappy, i am suddenly also unhappy. i want to please ALL the people, and somehow knowing whatever i decide is assuredly going to cause someone unhappiness at my doing, seems wrong. i mean, i literally caused the negative situation by making a decision to chose someone else’s happiness and not theirs. It’s upsetting for me every time!

Now before you go saying, “yeah but…” i get how ludicrous what i just said really is. But it’s how i feel in that moment. i can’t necessarily apply logic and understanding to know it was not my fault, they will get over it, someone had to lose, made the best decision possible, etc. until later. But even then, while acknowledging it couldn’t be helped, i still feel bad about it too.

Now think of the flip side here in that at least one or more of the people are happy when i make a decision to serve or please them. That brings joy and happiness to them, AND in the process to me too! When there is more than one to serve/make happy, it’s then that i experience a quandary of what to do or say or how to act or who to please (or disappoint)!

i have been trying to serve others in my daily world my whole life. In a lot of ways, it could be said that i have always been submissive in the sense that my joy comes when other people have joy. i am a service submissive in that sense. Although i never recognized it as being a submissive at all at the time either, i know it now!

Without a doubt, this has defined a lot of my younger years. As i have grown older, i have learned to exercise more discernment about who i serve or try to please. That’s where i am able to rationalize the “it’s ok” part of “not everyone is happy all the time,” by recognizing that ALL the people’s happiness is not my responsibility and i have not failed them in the process.

i am now able to be much more intentional about who i want to (try to) serve snd make happy. Specifically, i now try to really only please my Sir, but to some degree you could also say my entire family, my co-workers/clients, and friends are still apart of that too.

As David is now my Sir and the only one i really ultimately serve, when i become overwhelmed from the others still in my life too, David reels me back in.

It may not make sense what i am saying because i am still (even as an adult) talking about serving multiple people simultaneously. So let me give you an example…..

It’s Friday afternoon and a few people from work want to go to a happy hour with heavy appetizers, drinks, and hours of fun. Most likely this will cause me to not be hungry for dinner that David is already in the process of cooking. i want to please the co-workers, but also David. While i could just say no to co-workers and head home, i also know if i always say no they will stop asking at some point and then i don’t exactly have friends at work anymore then too. Of course, i ultimately only need to please David!

What i do now is tell my co-workers, “Let me check with David and see if it’s ok.” Now i literally mean what it sounds like where i ask permission to go, but they don’t interpret it that way at all. They just think i am checking in or confirming a clear schedule, but what they think or interpret isn’t my concern (anymore).

Frequently David will say yes that i can go, but sometimes it’s a no too. And when it’s a no, i have to face the co-workers and share that news. i have learned that “No is a complete sentence.” And i just have to say, “David say no, so i have to pass on tonight. Thanks anyway. Invite me next time though too.”

Because David knows how i take all of everyone’s happiness (or unhappiness) on myself and how i have a propensity to want to please everyone, he brings me back. He makes me focus on what’s important. He makes sure i focus on him. Sometimes he delivers a maintenance spanking to ground me too (and it works every time)!

RESERVED AND QUIET (or “Tendency toward shyness”)

This too has been part of “me” since i was little. People who really know me think i am anything but reserved and quiet, but that’s because they forgot how i was when they didn’t know me so well.

i absolutely hate meeting new people, making small talk, and having to talk about ME! i would (almost) rather be invisible than to have to be the focus or center of a conversation.

On the same note, i love to people watch. i find enjoyment in watching and listening to others. i would say i “catalog” a lot about a person in just observing them… the obvious about how they dress and carry themselves, but also more about their personality when you listen to them talk.

So even when David says yes to happy hour, i don’t tend to actually talk much. And when i do, i tend to be focused on group dynamics, ensuring everyone is happy, and no one is left out. i will always try to situate myself in the middle of the group table so i can make sure everyone to both the left and right sides are included and part of the discussions. But when all is well and all are talking, i just listen. I just catalog all that i you hear and let the happy hour play out.

RULES FOLLOWER

i have always been a rules follower. At times, it used to drive my mother insane. i have always felt that “the rule is there for a reason.” And even if i don’t understand the rule or know the reason, if it’s there for a reason, i should follow it.

i made straight A’s in school. The A’s were easy because the rules were set and to follow. i knew when the homework or project or test would happen and i planned my schedule and was ready. i never once had to go to detention or the principal’s office. i drank alcohol exactly one time before i was of age to do so legally. i have never stolen anything. i have never tried illegal drugs. i have rarely ran a red light, and when i did, i almost always have had a good reason for it.

As an adult, i don’t cook well because there aren’t enough rules. (What is a “pinch” or “an amount to taste” even mean?). My career choice is chopped FULL of rules, and i find it easy to do while many do not. (i won’t tell you what i do, but so many have said to me, “I don’t know how you do what you do!” But the fact is, once you learn “the rules” it’s easy.)

So when David sets rules, like “leave Happy hour and be home by 6,” i know exactly what i must do. And i do it. [Of course, i don’t always do what I am told, which is what leads to discipline. But even then, i know what to do and i mostly do what i am supposed to. And when I don’t do it, i know the consequences too!]

AGREEABLE (or “Aren’t assertive”)

i am not always agreeable, but i suppose iam not always any of these characteristics. i am only just mostly all of these things most of the time, which is true here too.

When my co-workers say, “let’s go to the Tex-Mex place” for the happy hour, despite the fact that’s the exact same place i went to lunch that very day, i agree. In the scheme of things, i figure this decision or choice just doesn’t matter. And it’s not like i don’t like Mexican food and drinks (frozen margaritas are the best!), so it’s just easy to have someone else to decide and for me to just agree.

When things just don’t matter, why disagree? It’s not like i am NOT able to assert myself, it’s just that i do it selectively. i try to ask myself, “Does this decision matter?” And most of the time, the answer is, “no, it really doesn’t.” So why disagree if the decision doesn’t even matter? It’s just easy to agree then!

Most of the time, i am actually happy to agree as i am grateful that someone made a decision. It irks me to no end when people say, “I don’t know, what do you think?” And the answer is, “I don’t know either.” And then we stand and stare at one another. Someone make a damn decision already! Sooooooo when someone does, i am (almost always) happy and agreeable!

YIELDING (TO THE WILL OF ANOTHER)

i think “Y-I-E-L-D-I-N-G” is an interesting word. It means not rigid, pliable, and giving way. That is the very definition of a submissive person and who i am!

i am unsure there’s anything more to say here. I love this word and character trait. i would say i told the story will all the previous words and traits above.

CONCLUSION

All that was build up to say, i have always been a submissive person. i can lead, but i prefer to follow. In fact, i have to lead frequently, it i don’t especially like it. If i see that someone else steps up and takes charge, i let them. Because i am agreeable, yielding, and submissive!

Whether nature or nurture, i don’t know. What i do know is: submission chose me long ago. (i also know Happy Hour at a Tex-Mex place, drinking frozen margaritas and eating chips and queso is easy to agree to, make people happy, and yield to the will of others. If you are in Texas and want to prove me right … let me know and i’ll be there!)

Hugs,

Marie

248 – Happy to be healthy!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 248 – Happy to be healthy!

Being sick is never a good thing. David got Covid, and then i did. i definitely had it worse than he did, but all in all, neither of us had it “too” badly either. His Covid stint lasted about 2-days and ended up just being a bad cold, whereas i was sick for a full 5-days with a bad cold and a lot of body aches and heaviness about me too.

While the metal taste in the mouth is terrible, i highly recommend if you should turn up with Covid to talk to your doc about getting the anti-viral meds now available as it made a positive difference. Won’t lie though, the metal mouth taste is awful. All in all, i would do it again to reduce the complications and difficulties experienced with Covid too.

When i become sick, which really doesn’t happen often, David becomes what i would call a (light) submissive.

Even though sometimes i would love for him to be, David isn’t a demanding Dominant Sir. He’s never that way, but especially when i am sick. Instead he takes care of me, asking what he can do to help more, cooks/cleans/ laundry, and helps me as best he can. Of course with Covid, the best way to help was really just staying away really, but even that, he did with grace and compassion making me love him even more!

But i won’t lie, being separated from David physically while still in the same house for nearly 2-weeks now has been awful too. And this weekend, David has to travel again as well.

Needless to say, with vacations, work trips, and both having Covid we haven’t actually seen, touched, or felt like we live together for almost a full month! It’s getting old and taking its toll on my mental health. i know it’s all temporary and will pass soon enough too, but it feels like the days drag on…and on… and on…. And… ok, i will stop now. But it is ongoing still too.

Not to mention, when we are apart, mentally, physically, or both, it becomes challenging to stay submissive. i mean, after all, when you are “alone” (and sick) it’s easy to just act, do, and say anything you want. Right?!

Well….. i don’t want to act, say, or do as i want, but to some degree, that’s what happens.

i would say there are two things that generally land me in trouble most frequently: 1) my mouth. Saying things that are rude, insulting, or disrespectful, and 2) laziness. Saying i will do something and not doing it as quickly as possible or just flat out forgetting afterward, is frequently a big problem for me.

And when i don’t feel good…. “I” come first. So I don’t care (in that moment anyway) if I speak harshly or inappropriately, nor do I feel like I have to get up/do things that I don’t want to do, even when those things are in my own best interest (like remembering to take the medicine on time and drinking lots of fluids).

Acting that way is just dumb. i admit that now. Definitely not appropriate.

Of course, David doesn’t expect me to be perfect ever, but especially not when i am not feeling good. There’s also no reason to ever be disrespectful to anyone really, let alone my Sir. In that moment though, I am selfish and not at all submissive.

Yet, i am always submissive. It was a choice i made long ago, it is at the core of me, and it is who i am. It’s not something that was forced upon me. i wouldn’t even really say i chose it, but rather, it chose me. (i could dive into that thought a bit more too, but i will just leave it right there for now.).

So to not act kindly and respectfully, and to not do as i am told, even when i am unwell is not acceptable. (And especially when the things i was told to do are for my own health, it’s not like it was too much trouble or not focused on me anyway! i mean, he didn’t ask me to run errands, cook/clean, etc. He asked me to drink more to stay properly hydrated!)

Don’t get me wrong, i wasn’t terrible. i just wasn’t good either.

So i asked for maintenance to be reinstated upon his return home. i think it would be a good way to get back into being “us.” He agreed.

We have always done maintenance on Friday’s, to be able to start the weekends off right. Because he is back on Monday though, i think i may ask for it early this coming week to start the whole week off right.

Until then, it will be a long (lonely) weekend alone….

Well, i’m not exactly alone… our son is here with me. And speaking of, i haven’t even told you that he graduated from high school in May and will be leaving in August to move on-campus in college. We will be empty nesters, to which i will be sad to be away from our son, but glad to have more of David/me time too. i am fully expecting to be more “in the moment” with D/s with an empty house soon. More directives without covert language, more “Sir” spoken aloud in the moment, more naked, more spankings …. All in that moment… come mid August and beyond! Stay tuned!

Anyway, i am happy to be healthy again and now getting back to normal again too!

Hugs,

Marie