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169 – Cheers to 20 years… And counting!

Written by Marie on . Posted in Marriage, Submission. No Comments on 169 – Cheers to 20 years… And counting!

20- years ago today, i married my best friend David.

If you’ve read through other posts on my blog, you already know that all 20 haven’t been perfect. But we are together. Thriving and doing life together.

Here’s a few things about us that i haven’t shared before (i don’t think)…..

– He is 8-years older than me. So when he was graduating College, i was still just in Jr High. At young ages, the age gap matters but at older (adult) ages, age is just a number.

– Met at work …. yes, we have the same professional careers. i have never told you what we do, but you could likely figure it out from context clues throughout if you wanted to. (And if you think you know, email me and i will tell you if you are right…. i will be honest if you guess correctly).

– Dated for 5-years when i gave him an ultimatum. When i did so, i said, “if you don’t know now, you’ll never know.” And this was said after we spent our 5-year-dating-anniversary in Hawaii, on a beach, with a glorious backdrop, where i just knew he was going to propose…. and yet, he did not. He was quite shocked when i called him out that day by saying, “Decide NOW or we are done!” Clearly he chose correctly…. lol.

– We have one child (a son) who is 16 1/2 now. It took 2-years and lots of doctors, drugs, and prayers to get pregnant at all. If he had been a girl, we were going to name him Grace….. by the Grace of God we were granted the gift of a child. i never took birth control after we were married, or after our son’s birth, and yet he is the only child God did deliver to us. i am grateful and blessed for what i have!

– Lived in 3-houses over 20-years. We have lived in our current home for most recent 8-years and i expect we will be here for another 8 (or more!). We may sell after that, since our son should be more than on his own at that point and we could probably downsize then. But after that many years here, we may just stay “forever” too.

– Have traveled to many continents where we have blessed to see with our own eyes many parts of God’s glorious world, including (in no real particular order here): China, England, France, Netherlands, and Italy. David has also been places without me (for work), that i was sad to not be able to also go with, including Brazil, Singapore, and Taiwan. It’s hard to say what i think has been my favorite as they are all so vastly different but i have fond memories in each of those all the same! i did especially love seeing the Great Wall of China, the beaches of Normandy, Louvre museum in Paris, Red light district in Amsterdam and seeing the coliseum in Rome.

– We have also traveled within the US to almost every state. We have been to 46 states and have only 4 to go. The ones we have not been to are: Montana, Alaska, Idaho, North Dakota. And we have been making plans to go to both Montana and Alaska, so they likely will be off the list in another 1-3’ish years (pending covid restrictions for travel). Some of my favorite US places include California’s beaches, Oregon’s Original Starbucks, South Carolina’s golf courses, Florida’s Disney World, South Dakota’s Mount Rushmore, New York’s Broadway shows, Philadelphia’s Liberty Bell and historical sites, Virginia (and DC)’s historical sites, including the realization that “The Smithsonian” museum is actually plural as in “MuseumS”, Louisiana’s LSU university that my husband is a die-hard graduate and fan of, plus all of Nebraska, Tennessee, Oklahoma and Arkansas for our family members who live there now.

– My most favorite state is my own Lone Star State of Texas, where i was born, raised, and still live. We currently live about 8-miles from where i grew up and i love it here. There’s no place like home! i say i will never leave, but depending on where our son —- and my future grand babies live —- i may well leave this great state.

– And…. we practice Domestic Discipline. We have only fully implemented it for the most recent 2 1/2 years, or just 10% of our married life, but it started in smaller ways about 5-years before that. i suppose like our dating life, it took awhile for us to fully embrace this way of life and we played-around with the ideas and ways of it for several years before. While i didn’t truly give David an ultimatum about DD, i did kinda do just that. When i officially decided, about 2 1/2 years ago that i just had-to-have this, i told him and we have been on this path ever since. i can’t wait til our 50th anniversary where i can say we have officially done this for “more than half” our married life.

While i say i wish we had started it sooner (and that’s so very true!), i’m not so sure we could’ve or would’ve appreciated it as much then as what we do now. i wonder if sometimes you have to go through some bad/hard times to truly appreciate the good times.

When you are in the heart of a valley, the only way to see anything is to look up. And in fact, you can’t see much else. To find a way out of the valley and to get to the top of the highest peak, is the goal at that point.

Our marriage hasn’t been without some true deep valley moments, i rather like to say we are currently in a mountain moment. When on the mountain, you can look back down the valley and see with clear eyes where you’ve been, but don’t currently stand. And yet, often times, when i look back at the valley i see it with fond memories of how far we have come. i don’t see all the pain, hurt, and achy-ness i felt when we were actually down in the valley. Or maybe i do see it, but i no longer am surrounded by it. i can appreciate it for what it was and the things we learned when we were standing smack dab in the middle of it.

And i know i never want to go back there if i can help it. (Although i am sure more valley-moments do indeed lie ahead again at some point in our future too!)

So yes, Domestic Discipline has saved my marriage from the depths of the valley. And we will always have this with us as we walk into even more of our older years together. i firmly believe THIS is how we are firmly to live, love, and breath, all the remaining days of our lives together in this world.

i love the Mountain Top view we currently share, and i pray the valley moments coming in the future will be endurable and few and far between.

Happy 20th anniversary to my loving Sir (and myself).

Oh and as to our gifts to one another….. i asked him probably 5’ish years ago if we could get a pool. He now said yes! Sooooo we will be installing a pool and hit tub over the coming months and will have lots of hot, humid, Texas-weather coming up soon to enjoy while skinny dipping in the pool! (That should provide some exciting blogable topics! 😉)

Hugs – and love and kisses to my husband of 20-years –

Marie

166 – Giving

Written by Marie on . Posted in My Dominant Sir. No Comments on 166 – Giving

i follow many other bloggers and read their posts (just about) daily. One such blogger is SubMissy. She has an amazing site and she writes so very well, which is very inspiring. She also does blog post prompts to which i am going to now participate in….

CURRENT PROMPT IS……

This month is all about giving. All good relationships are based on give and take, so how does giving work in your dynamic? Or why not focus on what you have done this season to make giving a priority? How does giving work with your headspace and where does giving and receiving fit for you?

So here’s my post about GIVING.

We have all heard ……IT IS BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE …. and i wholeheartedly disagree.

Yep, i am writing about GIVING and yet, i disagree with one of the most well-known phrases about it. The reason why i disagree is, in my opinion, really rather basic.

IF WE ALL BUSY GIVING, THEN WHO IS RECEIVING? In order to allow someone to give, someone else has to (graciously and kindly) receive it.

i would prefer the phrase to instead to be something like, “GIVING AND RECEIVING IS PERFECTLY DONE WHEN IT IS A PERFECTLY COMPLETE CIRCLE.”

All to often, when we give to people, you hear the other one saying things back to you that sound like:

1) “oh thank you, but I can’t possibly accept this.” or

2) “You shouldn’t have” or

3) “But I didn’t get you anything” or

4) “I feel like your charity case”

i could go on, but i think these are prime examples of things that i have heard and probably even said at some point in my lifetime.

The trouble with all these is that if i want to give you something…. i needyou to accept it. With grace and thankfulness, not some awkward and strange reluctance or even flat out refusal (#1 above).

i love to give. But it takes an open and accepting and gracious person to receive those gifts in return to have us both feel good about it.

i give to people out of love. i often think, “i have more than i need, and their need is greater than mine at this time, so i want to give this to them.”

And frequently i have heard, “I’m not a charity case.” (#4 above) said back to me. It becomes awkward then. i typically say something like, “i didn’t mean to insult you” or “it’s just my way of helping.” And once i even said, “it’s better to give than to receive.” She said, “oh so now you are giving to me so you can feel better about yourself?” Uhmmmmmm. No.

Now neither the giver nor the receiver is feeling good about it, and honestly, quite the opposite has occurred! The negativity has now overtaken the entire situation. What started as something good, has turned sour in a hurry. All because there was a receiving heart to accept the gift that was freely given.

In my marriage though, we have a healthy give-receive relationship. i think most people think that a D/s relationship is all about the submissive giving of herself physically, mentally, financially, and the Dominant would be receiving of it all. While that’s substantially true, it works in reverse too. Sometimes i think most people wouldn’t really think about our Dominant as the giver also, but they are. And for him to give to me, i have to receive it with grace and thanks in order to complete the circle.

So i kind of want to turn this prompt inside out and talk about how my Sir gives to me and my responses to him. At least that’s where i start, but i end up with me giving too! You’ll see. 😉

PHYSICAL GIVING

My husband cooks and i clean. i NEVER COOK. And we are both quite happy with this arrangement. Neither of us really ever expects the other to do what we aren’t good at and we are grateful for the skills and gifts we have to offer the other.

But cooking isn’t the only gift he regularly gives me. Yes, he gives me spankings. Regularly. If you read my blog, it is chopped full of stories of punishment spankings and maintenance spankings in order to maintain our dynamic. Domestic Discipline (DD) is alive and well in our relationship. By intention design.

In other posts, i have also said numerous times, “i do not like to be spanked.” And it is true. But i accept it, in part because i see it as a gift from David.

He has taken his time and physical energy, to spank me. It is (one of) his gifts of love to me, along with his amazing chef-like skills too. He does it (a spanking) with love in his heart and the ultimate goal of guiding me in the way we want our marriage to go. To keep us on track and to keep doing good.

He cares about our marriage and me enough to give me spankings.

But how can he give me spankings if i don’t accept it with grace and thankfulness? It wouldn’t work at all. Can you imagine me saying, “oh you really shouldn’t have. I can’t accept this.” Or better, “But I didn’t get you one.” ??

Giving simply doesn’t work without someone else receiving. And preferably receiving with a grateful and thankful heart. So i receive with a thankful heart.

When we are done with the spanking, every time he stands me upright and hugs and kisses on me. And he tells me how much he loves me. He gives me hugs and kisses at the end of giving me a spanking.

He has never made me thank him, but i typically do. i want him to know that while this was a physical gift that i may not have wanted, i know he does it because he does indeed love me. And i agreed long ago to accept it openly and lovingly. So i thank him in order to give him reassurance that this gift he’s given is accepted with a loving heart in return.

*** Did you see what i just did there? i said, “i thank him in order to GIVE Him reassurance” about his gift to me. So in the mere act of receiving, the giving has now been turned back inside-right by me giving him something too.

He doesn’t seek my thanks, but he receives it with grace and pride too. It creates in him a feeling of pride and appreciation when i give him reassurances of my willingness to accept the gift he’s given me.

So ultimately a grateful receiving heart ends up turning into a gracious giving heart, creating a full and complete and perfect circle of giving!

Okay, yes, he also gives me physical/tangible/ real gifts. And i do my very best to thank him for all of them, as he does in reverse. And of course, this works in the perfect circle too.

One of the gifts i gave him for Christmas was a set of canes. We have never owned any canes so this will be a new experience for us both. We have talked about it, but neither of us has gifted the other with a cane, until now.

He finds these gifts oddly strange of me to give. He asks me, “Why would you give me a gift of something that will bring about the very thing (a spanking) that you tell me you don’t want to have?”

My answer is simple, “Because you love me enough to guide me and i accept these spankings as a reminder of who we are together. We grow together in our DD relationship with reinforcement of what we know works.”

And it’s true.

That’s when he gave me a devilish looking grin and said, “I can’t wait for Friday’s Maintenance now!”

MENTAL GIVING

While he is physically giving me a spanking, i am mentally giving him my submissive heart, mind, and soul.

A spanking with a paddle stings. It is maybe best described like a bee sting or a needle prick. It hurts, but on,y for a split second and it leaves behind a heat that is felt for awhile thereafter. And that’s just one swat, which a spanking never is. As the swats continue, the sting builds as well as the heat it generates to.

From the very start, i have to tell myself to relax and accept this gift he is giving. i mentally pray before we start as i wait for him to come into the room and that prayer typically shows something like, “Lord help me to accept this spanking with grace and understanding that it ultimately comes from his guidance of me, through your guidance of him. Please Lord give him the confidence and strength to lead our family and me especially in the ways you want us to go.”

At some point during a spanking endorphins release and i actually do start to accept with a thankful heart each swat he delivers. It starts to feel good. My mind relaxes and it brings me into the best receiving heart and mind possible. My thoughts move from, “But i didn’t get you anything” to “Please never stopgivingme your all!”

GIVING AND RECEIVING IS PERFECT ONLY WHEN IT IS A PERFECTLY COMPLETE CIRCLE

So maybe you can see that while maybe the giving part is the start of the circle, it also requires a receiving part. And by receding the gift, you are simultaneously giving your thanks. And that original giving person is also receiving your praise and graciousness. The circle is complete.

No one is ever JUST giving or receiving. It has to be a complete and perfect circle for it all to work. You have to give AND receive… always.

If you are guilty of saying these things that I mentioned above…. STOP. Instead, say something like:

1) “oh wow, I’m so grateful for your kindness.” or

2) “This is so amazing.” or just a simple…

3) “THANK YOU!” Is always perfect too.

And genuinely mean it, from a truly receiving heart!

(Oh and final thoughts on this day…… as we say goodbye to 2020, this year was a gift….. yes, this year has been incredibly hard but it is a gift to be alive, to have friends to miss, to be thankful for the times we can and eventually will be back together, and an opportunity to have a receiving heart for better times ahead with enormous thankfulness!)

Hugs,

Marie

165 – No touchy-touchy

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The official rule is i do not touch (at all) any of my private parts without permission. The idea being that touching leads to pleasure, which leads to orgasm. And orgasms from my body are for his pleasure, not mine. And taken without permission is stealing, which we all know is wrong.

But just recently, the rule morphed a bit. Now it’s not that i can’t touch, but that i can’t touch WITH MY BARE FINGERS. So…. when there is a barrier between my fingers and said private part, touching is allowed.

Honestly, this is more realistic anyway. i mean seriously, how can i NOT touch myself to dry off after the shower? Or even while in the shower, how can i clean myself without touching myself? And even dressing caused me to brush against myself to put clothes on too.

So now…. if there is something between my hand and my skin, touching is allowed. But orgasms are still absolutely not allowed without permission.

i know this rule changed because i had recently explored a loophole in that original no-touch rule. i wasn’t entirely sure if it was authorized, and yet, found myself doing it with justification anyway. Justification in my own mind, of course!

While in the shower, just before turning off the water and drying off, i tend to just stand there and think. i think about the day ahead, the to-do’s, what i’ll wear, and so on.

Well, one day, i thought, “i would SO like to touch myself and orgasm right now!” And as i looked a bit upward, a lightbulb went off that went like this……..

We have a removable shower head. The kind that has the long cord and you can spray the water where you want. (We have primarily used it to bathe the dogs more easily and to clean the corners of the shower itself). “i could use that shower head to clean the corners of my body …. it could spray my breasts and pussy up close.”

So i did. And it was fucking hot. Like the turn-me-on hot, not referring to the water temperature!

And then it moved lower with the thoughts, “If you feel this good on those tits, guess how much better you’ll feel with the water spraying on that sweet pussy too!” (Yeah, it wasn’t “sweet” at that point… it was very naughty!)

And yet, i did. And the temperature inside me rose even more!

Then i decided to play a game with it and moved the water all around and told myself to stand perfectly still and NOT move or flinch and “just enjoy it.”

i justified it all by saying, “i am NOT ACTUALLY touching myself.” But i knew, the same as you do now, that i was anything but compliant. Which is when i felt the guilt rising up, causing the heat to turn cold in a hurry. So i stopped. (Hey, at least i didn’t orgasm!)

The next day though….. i saw that shower head and thought, “Man that felt good.” And did it again. And the third day too.

It was then that David happened to walk in the bathroom at the very moment i was doing it. And i stopped cold in my tracks. It was already too late. He saw. He’s not stupid.

i just knew i would be feeling way more heat on the outside of my ass in just a few short minutes than anything like what i had just been feeling inside my nether regions! That paddle would cause the heat of my pussy to turn ice cold too.

However, to my complete surprise, instead of being mad…. he was amused. He thought it was a smart way to think outside the box and wanted to see it in person. He made me continue for him to watch.

While i don’t know what it feels like to live-work in the red light district of Amsterdam, i have been there and seen it. For those that haven’t, it is an entire street filled with elevated boxes, one after another. And inside those boxes the ladies dance seductively, inviting someone to come inside and partake. When the lady is in the box, they have red lights on and dance. But when someone comes to partake, they turn the light out and pull the curtain. The “boxes” are varying in size, but are substantially similar to a stand up shower size with enough room to move around and not feel claustrophobic and yet small enough to not take up unnecessary space also.

So not exactly the same, but standing in the shower with the glass between us reminded me of those ladies in the red light district. i felt i was “on display” for my Sir to see me “dance” for him. i felt strange and uncomfortable though, like out of my element. Which i think was merely due to the fact i had been caught and was now having to do this for the express purpose of him watching and to gain his approval.

He told me to continue to “see just how close to the edge of orgasm” i could get myself. The following day, he told me to, “Go edge with the shower head.” And made me do it. Again, he came to watch.

He made me go over the edge and orgasm with just the water alone. i didn’t even think that was possible, but i did achieve it and it felt A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

That’s when he changed the rule to, “Touch yourself all you want…. but never with your hand directly on that pussy that belongs to me without a barrier of some sort in between. And never orgasm without permission. And if you do, I expect you to report accordingly.”

Yes Sir.

My first thought was elation for having a bit more freedom now. But that was a week ago. And the self-imposed edging is thrilling…. until i have to force myself to stop.

Stopping (before an orgasm flows forth) is without a doubt… the very hardest thing to do! You just don’t want to. It’s like being in a race, in first place, with your competition so far behind you that you barely even register they are there…. when you suddenly pull up. You STOP at the finish line, without going over. And you stand there so long that someone else wins the race. Now you are standing on the awards podium in the second place position with the winner gloating over you that you lost and they won.

It felt SO good for such a brief moment. And yet… because it felt that good, you are in the blocks ready to go run the very same race again the very next day with the very same ending!

So every day now, i do this self-torture by using that shower head to my (not quite complete) satisfaction. i raise the temperature inside me, in the shower just to finish second on the podium.

That’s when i get out of the shower and ask Sir if i can orgasm. Lately his response is something like, “just took a shower, did ya?? Yeah, good for you! But no, not today. No orgasms today, but ask me tomorrow. Maybe then.”

And he winks at me, only to send me off to dress for the day ahead.

So with that, it is now time for me to go get in the blocks, run the race, and beg for an orgasm… to start my day. Think of me while you are in the shower next, and consider using your removable shower head in creative, temperature-rising ways too!

Hugs,

Marie

164 – Merry RED-ASS Christmas

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i pray you all had an amazing day being surrounded by love one family and our Lord Jesus Christ. Did you receive many great gifts?

i got a new Keurig coffee pot and couldn’t be happier! Tomorrow’s coffee will be super amazing!

What i didn’t do right today though was my attitude. (In my defense, i think it was justified to be upset…. just not to have handled it the way i did!). i got quite upset with Sir earlier this evening and let him know how “rude and inconsiderate” he was.

My family had been over to our house for the day and as she was packing up to leave when David put on his shoes and left for a walk. We NEVER leave our house without telling one another (for any reason), and when he left i had no idea. Add to that, the fact that He/i have been walking together as of late, so W-H-Y he would just go and leave without telling me… or inviting me to go along upset me greatly!

He was either being rude … or inconsiderate… or flat out didn’t even think about me. No matter the case, i had my feelings hurt.

And while he was gone, i texted him and said as much. To which i received a text back that said, “you and I can go walking together when I return from this one.” i felt that was a consolation prize so I texted ONE word…

WHATEVER!

That’s when he texted back. “ASSUME THE POSITION!”

i wrote, “FINE!”

And i went to the bedroom, got naked, and bent over the bed. i typically pray for the Lord to give me strength, to give me the submissive heart He wants me to have, and for the Lord to speak to David’s heart to lead our family too.

But not today. Today i was seething mad. i had half a mind to not even go Assume the Position. i started to just ignore that directive and when he got home, i was going to say, “i was doing the dishes” …. and while it was true, i had been emptying the dishwasher at the time, we both knew it wasn’t what i should have made a priority when i was quite clearly told to Assume The Position.

So i had debated whether or not to even do as told! i was that…. upset….. (hurt really). And i didn’t think i should have to be spanked just because i called him out on what i thought he didn’t do right. (i don’t know if i should literally say he was “wrong,” but i want to.). However, i suppose i didn’t handle my hurt feelings well what so ever either and two wrongs just do not make a right!

But… i am not stupid either. i wasn’t going to give David even more reason to spank me… for disobedience then … so… i did. i assumed the position.

So instead of praying, today i was so mad i just got even more mad and decided i would take whatever he wanted to dish out. Gladly! And never once would i call for yellow (for him to slow down) or red (for him to stop)! i was determined (to be the winner)!

And that’s when he walked in. He picked up the paddle and spanked HARD! Straight out of the gate, from the first swat to the last!

David proceeded to spank my ass H-A-R-D. It was not only hard, but also with intentional intensity. He knew and so did i that while this may be a Friday, this was NOT maintenance. This was a punishment. Unfortunately when i am mad from the start that just spawned me on to dig my heels in deep and become quite stubborn.

He spanked me until i heard myself saying, “i am nearing yellow Sir.”

To which he said, “Are you still mad?”

And i didn’t answer.

He said, “Apparently you are. And until you say ‘Yellow’, i won’t slow down. So, again, I ask, Are you still mad?”

And i squeaked out, “i don’t want to be.”

He said, “Then we need to continue!” And he smacked my ass extra hard three times in the exactly same spot! It hurt SO much!

i offered up, “YES! i am not mad. Will you please stop Sir?”

i was suddenly no longer mad, hurt, or upset. My previous negative emotions had been replaced with just a desire to have this stop. i had suddenly backed down from my stubborn, won’t-give-in thoughts. i no longer wanted to be mad and instead welcomed Sir’s authority and to just have this all end.

But he didn’t stop just then. Instead while continuing to spank me, he asked me again, “Are you mad?”

i said, “No Sir”

While still continuing to spank (quite) hard, he asked, “Are you going to apologize for being rude to me with your tone?”

i said, “Yes Sir. i am sorry Sir.”

And start was when he stopped.

He stood me up, kissed me and said, “I’m sorry, I was not aware your family was leaving and thought I’d give you time to enjoy being with them while I got a quick walk in. We could’ve avoided this disagreement and punishment had you not responded the way you did though too.”

I said, “Thank you Sir for apologizing and explaining. i am sorry too.”

That’s when he said, “Assume the Position again.”

i was confused and asked, “Why??”

He said, “Because is Friday, and we haven’t done maintenance yet.” So i did. i assumed the position for the second time in only a few short minutes!

And he spanked me about 30 or so more times, with less than half the intensity as before, but twice as fast. i more or less screamed right into the pillow nearest me so as to not yell out loud. These particular spanks were not hard really, but on top of an already spanked ass was particularly painful in a hurry!

When completed, he stood me up and kissed me again and said. “How do you feel?”

And i said, “submissive and thankful. Thankful for the leadership that you exert. And most definitely loved too!”

He touched my pussy at that point and said, “what else could make you feel loved?”

i decided to be a bit close to the edge of “acceptable” and i got a devious smile on me face… and without breaking eye contact, i laid down on the bed. Backside to the bed already, i moved backward and laid down and spread my legs wide open.

He laughed and said, “Now don’t be pushy again. While I shouldn’t reward you with this, because it’s Christmas, I’ll give you this gift…..”

And he proceeded to lick me until I orgasmed. At one point, i asked him to stick his fingers inside me and he didn’t. Instead he said, “you never said the magic word.”

i said, “Sir.”

And i felt his finger go straight inside his pussy! i moved my hips so that i was fucking his finger, while feeling his tongue against my clit. i asked if i could cum, and he (thankfully) said yes.

Now i know….. speak better to him, with respect. And use the magic word often…. and i get to cum!

So the day started well, and is ending well. i am SO happy we didn’t get into a fight on Christmas… and i got the gift of love instead.

What could be better?! How was your holiday? Did you get rewarded with a punishment that ended with an orgasm? ❤️

Hugs and Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁

Marie

163 – It’s a dildo day

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In my last post i mentioned wearing a dildo to work.

i will tell you all about what happened….. and in the end, ask you again, “Am i a sex slave and submissive wife? Or just slave? Or just a submissive!” Where the line from sub ends and slave begins is my unanswered question at the moment.

But maybe it’s not really important what title i (or you) put on it. It just might be more important that i was following a directive from my Sir. And i was submitting…….

He said, “Bring me the inflatable dildo.”

Yes Sir. And i did.

He said, “Spread your legs.”

And i did.

And he pushed it up inside me. (i wear no panties, per his instruction from long ago. In fact, he took them away and i haven’t seen them since. i can’t wear them if i wanted to.)

He said, “Set an alarm for 60-minutes. Every hour, you will pump the bulb twice. And then report that to me in person or text.”

“Don’t miss or forget to do it, every hour. Both the pumping and the reporting.”

And he grabbed the pump bulb and squeezed it 5-times to give a start.

And off to work i went. The entire dildo fits right up inside me, but after it is squeezed many times and it inflates it becomes difficult to keep it inside. When i mentioned that to Sir, he said, “squeeze your legs tight to keep it inside.”

And that’s basically what i did. i had to or else it would have fallen out … into my pants and would’ve slid down my leg until it came out. NOT happening to me while at work!

Every hour. All day. The alarm went off, i gave two good pumps, and texted, “Another hour. 2-more pumps.”

By the day’s end, i had received 25-total pumps. The dildo was quite large. It felt fine while inside. But when i had to take it out for a restroom break, pushing it back inside was a major effort for sure! It i wasn’t going to disappoint my Sir, and i followed his instructions to the T.

And mid-way through the morning, in addition to the dildo, i received a text. It said, “Time to edge.”

i stared at it for a minute and texted back, “at work? Now?”

And he texted back, “Yes. That’s what i said.”

Thankfully i have my own office and have a birds eye view of anyone approaching, so i pushed my hand down in my pants and found my clit. i rubbed it until i almost exploded. i was at “the edge” of orgasm. And i wanted it. i wanted that orgasm.

It took everything in me to stop. But i did.

Why did i stop? Because i am a submissive (or a slave?) and i was told to edge. i was not told to orgasm. Orgasms from my body do not belong to me. i agreed long ago to never orgasm without permission. And i haven’t been given permission on this day to do anything other than go to the edge of orgasm.

i texted and said, “i have done it. But i really want to cum.”

He texted back, “Good girl. No. Do it again. Now.”

Holy crap. i did it again. It took about ONE minute and i nearly went over the edge. In fact, for a split second i actually thought i had gone over the edge (and orgasmed).

i felt panic rise in me. You see, because i am submissive, i want to please him. And had i gone over the edge, i would’ve felt badly. You’d think i would enjoy an orgasm and relish in the moment. But no, i would have no pleasure in an orgasm that is not allowed. And i wouldn’t want to see Sir’s face when i had to tell him i orgasmed without permission.

i was relieved when i knew that i had … quite literally…. gone to THE EDGE but had NOT gone over.

i told Sir all these things and he was quite pleased with me.

He said, “You will receive your reward when you are home. Now two more pumps and don’t forget to continue.”

By the end of the day, my puss was sore and stretched. But i was happy!

Upon getting home, Sir said to lay on the bed and wait for him. When he came in, he played a bit with the dildo pushing it further in and back out again. When he pulled it out fully, he commented on just how inflated it was and was impressed.

Then he put all five fingers inside me and pushed all the way to his knuckles. And pushed in and out. Then while in, he moved his fingers rapidly.

i begged him to allow me to cum. When he said no, i responded with, “Please Sir… either stop or allow me to cum… otherwise i will go over the edge without permission and i do not want to.”

He smiled and said, “Orgasm all you want.” And his fingers moved easily inside me and he felt me squeeze and release all over them! He kept going and i felt the ripple of more orgasms flow from me freely.

When he pulled out, i was exhausted.

We were both disappointed that he couldn’t get his hand all the way inside me, but we have determined his hand is simply too large. He said he will find a female suitable to do it for us, and when he does, he will take pictures. i will be ready!

i followed orders and was rewarded with multiple orgasms at my Sir’s hand… quite literally. i pleased him and he pleased me!

That all happened yesterday. Today, my puss is sore and thankfully allowed to rest. Will wait to see what tomorrow holds.

So what do you think…. submissive? Slave? Some combination of both? Or does it even matter….. i do as i am told, and i am rewarded. And when i don’t, i am punished. i happily accept both!

Hugs,

Marie