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Tag: domestic disipline

290 – Absent in spirit

We have been busy.

With Life.

After the Kentucky trip, we have had….

  • A family wedding in Nashville (that was outdoors in 30 degree weather. Oh my!),
  • Thanksgiving (which was lovely and low key),
  • My 51st birthday (i’m not ashamed or embarrassed about admittedly my age),
  • Trip to see our son in college (nice weekend with him),
  • My firm’s Christmas party (at our house with 22-people here, David cooked amazing food for it too. i didn’t make him, he wanted to. It was his gift to us and vice versa.)

All that in the course of 4 1/2 weeks.

All that on top of getting ready for Christmas with decorating, buying and wrapping presents, and of course…. Work.

It’s been unseasonably warm in our area. It’s normally 40’s lows to maybe 60’s highs. We’ve been having 60’s for lows and 80’s for highs.

While i love the hot weather, not everyone does. It’s sooooo much easier to be sexy in warm weather clothes than cold weather clothes.

Think about it… in the cold north, a conversation probably goes like this….

Him: I want to fuck you.

Her: oh yeah Sir?! I want that too.

Her again: just give me 10-minutes.

Him (annoyed): uhm. No. Don’t tell me I have to wait! NOW!

Her: well Sir, since it’s so cold out, I have 16-layers of clothes on and have to take them all off. That’s going to take awhile.

Lol. Yeah. So. NOT sexy.

So warm weather allows me to wear tank tops or a low-cut shirt, no bra, no panties… and be undressed in no time flat.

i can also sleep naked, or be in the house naked, much easier in warm weather.

Generally speaking, i feel way more more sexy in warm weather than in cold weather.

But i would say that David has been absent in spirit lately. With so many “life things” happening, he hasn’t had the least bit of focus on me, regardless of what i have on or do not… or whether the temp is cold or warm! (Yes, i am fully aware of how selfish that sounds!)

Now that’s not to say he’s not talked to me, done (vanilla) things with me, nor has he been entirely or literally gone.

He’s just not held me accountable or maintained our Domestic Discipline dynamic. At all.

i have been trying to NOT get anxious, upset, or angry about the (perceived) neglect. i know i am loved. i know i am not ignored, forgotten, or neglected. But it feels like it to me. And sometimes what we perceive becomes our truth.

i just wish he’d hold me accountable. i just wish he’d stay the course of our dynamic. i just wish he would bent me over his knee already.

i know i need to tell him. But HOW to tell him has been problematic.

If i……

Brat…

….. Which is where i become cranky, disobedient, disrespectful, and …. Challenging, that is unbecoming. It also, usually, just makes David annoyed and/or angry.

i don’t chose to be a brat quite as literally as it may seem. It’s somewhat like having a bad day. You don’t start out saying, “hey, I want to have a bad day today.” And yet, sometimes it just happens anyway.

And to take that even further, when a bad day does happen, sometimes you think, “I am NOT going to let this continue.” And yet it just does.

So being “bad” and throwing a temper tantrum isn’t the right answer, but admittedly, i have done a bit of this. Yet David has let it go and not held me accountable.

What exactly have i done? Well…. i decided he hasn’t paid ANY attention to my puss. He doesn’t seem to care if i touch it or not. i decided to NOT shave it until he pays attention to it.

On Saturday, he decided to lay me on the bed, spread my legs, and lick me to orgasm. (Yah, i know this is paying attention to me, which is exactly what i am complaining about. But. This is the one and only sexual type interaction we’ve had in nearly 6-weeks.).

He didn’t even comment about the hair. i dared him to. He didn’t. He should have. It was annoying that he didn’t.

Top from the Bottom…

…. i’d just tell him what to do, or maybe tell him “what you should do in this situation is….”

Turn me over and spank me, like the spoiled brat that i am acting like.

Or stand me in the corner until further notice.

Or (fill in the blank)…..

But i don’t want to tell him what to do. i want him to enforce the rules, do maintenance spankings, tell me to wear the Chastity Belt, or WHATEVER…. because he wants to do it and NOT just because i am telling him to do those things.

Try talking to him…

Yes, i know. THIS is the most logical. But i am already thinking he’s just going to hear my words as Topping because i think i hear it that way already too.

i can hear the conversation now….

Me: “you aren’t holding me accountable.”

Him: “ok. We’ve been busy.”

Me: “yes, but you should….”

Okay… right there…. i am Topping from the Bottom. Telling him what he’s NOT doing and how to DO something (anything) better

Send him a link of this post…

But that’s likely just another version of Topping from The Bottom.

SUMMARY…..

i am getting increasingly annoyed and unhappy…. Which is making me cranky. Which is probably going to lead to me being a Brat… even more. Just to get his attention.

See a pattern here? See the circular reference?

Ugh.

Suggestions?

Until then… no matter hot weather or not, i will wear what i want, when i want!

Hugs,

Marie

288 – Caning discipline – (partial) Fiction

So this first part is true. The consequences thereof is what i have made up in my head, as i wait to see what, if anything, will come of it….

The guilt was starting to eat me up. So i decided to tell David, via text, to clear my conscience. Of course, i waited until he was away from the house to tell him. i didn’t do that on purpose really, or… maybe on some level i did.

The text read, “I’m not sure if you care or not, but I’ve orgasmed twice this week without permission. Once was on my birthday and then again yesterday too.”

What i didn’t say was, “and i am telling you now instead of doing what i really want to do, which is orgasm again. Right Now! Because i really am feeling very guilty now.”

The text i got back was, “WHY would you do that??????”

The response was simple… and true. i said, “Because i was selfish.”

What i didn’t add was that, “while i expect that had i asked you, you would have said yes… or…. you’d probably even have done participated and done for me. But i didn’t want that. i wanted ME. i truly was being VERY selfish!”

And the response i received was, “I’d have done it for you. It was your bday.”

i asked, “does it matter that i did it without your help? Or your permission ?”

“YES it does!”

And this is where i thought, “Ugh. You knew this was going to be the result. Now you’ll be punished. Why’d you go and be so stupid? You KNEW it was wrong. It wasn’t even that great of an O because you felt guilty even then!”

My head thoughts continued….. “And honestly…. You deserve whatever he provides. And you need to be prepared to thank him for it too.”

In my head i continued even more…… “You need to be grateful you have a husband who cares enough to want to be the one who provides your happiness, that he wants to see your joy when you orgasm, and … now… he also cares enough to discipline you for bad behavior too.”

And that’s where my head started venturing into the what-if scenarios about what kind of punishment would be fitting …….. fiction starts here….

After a bit more time of anxious anticipation, I received a new text from David. It said, “As you know today is Sunday, and I am already at church (for the tech team support David serves on). When you come to church, you need to have your belt on. You need to come find me and lay the key in my hand. It seems you need to have restriction enforced more again. But make no mistake, your discipline doesn’t stop there.”

“Yes Sir.”

And I did as instructed.

After church, we went to lunch with our son and he got on the road to head back to college from there and we went back home.

David beat me home and when I walked in the house, he was standing right there by the door waiting. He said, “Strip. You will not be wearing clothes the rest of the day.”

“Yes Sir.”

And I did as instructed.

That’s when he looked me up and down, and he smiled. He kissed the top of my forehead and said, “that’s my good girl.”

He produced the key to my belt and removed it. It dropped to the floor with the loud clang of metal that you’d expect.

He told me to “Go lay on the couch on your back. And wait for me.”

“Yes Sir.”

He walked through the living room and into our bedroom. I didn’t dare touch myself while he was gone. I wasn’t too sure what was going to happen next, but I wasn’t going to make it worse than it already was either.

When he came back into the living room he had changed clothes. And he held the leather cane in his hand too. Cringe. The cane is so torturous. He only uses it on me for the most egregious of errors and to drive home the discipline. It works every time.

He came and stood beside the couch that I lay on. As he towered over me, he looked down into my eyes and said, “You are the most beautiful wife when you lay naked like this. I like what I see. Unfortunately, that’s not quite what we are here for. Do you agree you’ve been disrespectful toward me lately?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Do you understand that it hurts my soul to think you don’t want to spend time with me, to allow your pleasure to come from me, to share your body and soul with me? You’ve shut me out by being selfish and taking orgasms that don’t belong to you. I consider it acts of infidelity when you touch yourself and bring yourself pleasure without me there or my permission to do so. But you knew all this, didn’t you?”

I started to feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I was choking back the emotions when I barely got out the words, “Yes Sir.”

He continued, “if you insist on making bad choices, then you will learn the true pain that you’ve caused me. Open your legs. And be still.”

Ahh, here it comes.

I saw his arm move up, the cane went up with his hand. Then I heard the whipping sound the cane makes when it cuts through the air. Immediately afterward, I felt the sting it leaves when it collided with my skin.

While I fully expected to feel it on my clit, I did not feel it there. Instead, it was on my lower abdomen. I immediately pulled myself into a fetal ball like position, but managed to stay flat on my back. I heard the words, “I said lay still. Now open your legs to me once again.”

And I did as instructed.

Tears started to fall from my eyes and down the sides of my cheeks, onto the couch cushion. I wasn’t crying from the pain, but rather the disappointment I had created for my Sir and in myself too.

I saw the cane move up and backward with his hand, and I closed my eyes. I held my breath and waited for it to fall on my skin to make its mark. It came down a little lower on my abdomen this time, but substantially in the same area. And then it happened again but lower yet. He was making his way down to my pussy. I could tell what was coming soon. I was anticipating the pain as I felt the next swat of the cane hit the top of my pubic mons area.

He paused and said, “do you think you deserve this punishment my love?”

“Yes Sir. I wish I didn’t, but I know I do.”

He said, “good. Now open your eyes and look at me.”

I did as instructed.

“I love you so much that it pains me when you take pleasure from me. That’s why you have to learn that this pussy and all the love it has to give belongs to me. ALL the time.”

He continued, “So I am about to deliver five hard strikes of the cane to this disobedient pussy to remind you of the way you are to act. Do you accept this punishment willingly?”

“Yes Sir, I do accept your discipline freely and fully.”

“Good. Now don’t move at all as I intend to deliver these swats in succession. If you move at all or restrict my access, I will start over. You don’t want that, now do you?”

“No Sir.”

“Good. Now lay still.”

And with that, he began just as promised, the first hard swat of the cane directly onto my pussy. He hit the left labia, and the intensity to my most sensitive area surprised me and I flinched. I cringed. I prayed he didn’t notice. But of course, he did.

He stopped and I heard, “tsk tsk tsk. Did I make myself clear about how you were to act?”

“Yes Sir. It just surprised me so I involuntarily flinched.”

“Well, I suppose you now know what to expect and that won’t happen again. Let’s begin again, shall we?”

He didn’t wait for my response, thankfully, as I felt the cane collide with the right labia. I successfully didn’t move. And I felt the left labia get hit again. It stung even more now with the second time leaving it’s hard mark on top of the first. I felt the cane repeat to the right side then too.

I heard my thoughts, “Three more to go. I can do this. Accept this punishment with grace, as you know you deserve.”

That’s when I felt the next caning swat land directly on my clit. It stung so damn bad but I was determined to accept it by laying still. I didn’t want Sir to start over. In another second of time, I felt another sting directly onto my clit again. I didn’t expect two in a row to land directly to my most sensitive spot.

Just one more to go, and I suspected it would be delivered with the most intensity yet. Sir did not disappoint.

The last one was also delivered as a direct hit to the middle of my pussy, straight onto my clit, with more intensity than any of the previous ones. It stung so bad bad that I felt the heat roll up into my cheeks and the tears flowed out freely from my eyes.

Through a haggard breath and tears, I eked out the words, “Thank You Sir.”

That’s when he dropped to his knees and the cane was laid aside. He kissed my lips fully and when he pulled away he said, “THAT was the pain part. Now for the pleasure part.”

He moved down on the couch where he got between my legs. It was just another second until I felt his warm tongue soothingly loving on my clit, pressing away all the pain and bringing about only pleasure. It felt so wonderful that my pussy started leaking fluids immediately.

He lifted his head and spoke to me saying, “You will not orgasm today at all. I will take my pleasure now and because you previously took your pleasure without permission, you will not have that ultimate release today at all.”

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”

His tongue worked its magic. I felt him press his whole mouth around my clit, creating a suction on it and slightly pulling at it where it swelled up in response. My jagged breath and moans of pleasure was starting to tell my Sir just how turned on I really was becoming. As I arched my back and started to beg Sir to stop (or else let me orgasm), he immediately pulled his lips away and said very sternly, “NO! You will NOT orgasm!” His hand simultaneously gave my clit a hard slap, telling it to stop seeking pleasure and to remember the place it’s earned.

He waited a hot second and started again. He brought me to the edge of orgasm three more times, taking his pleasure in teasing me while licking my juices up in full but never allowing me to go over the edge.

After four total times of this, I was beyond sexually frustrated and David knew it. He didn’t care. In fact, he reveled in it as he spoke, “being frustrated isn’t too good for you is it?”

“No Sir.”

“Maybe next time you’ll think twice before taking your pleasure without permission.”

Oh I definitely will not be orgasming without permission again for a very long time to come!

And with that, he pulled entirely away from me and stood up. He grabbed my hand to help pull me up to my feet too. Then he said, “Now then. Because I don’t trust yo to be unbelted, you need to go get your belt back on. Snap the lock and bring me the key.”

And I did as instructed.

As I laid the key in his hand he smiled. Then he spoke saying, “I’ll keep the key on me and at the top of every odd hour for the remainder of the day, present yourself to me. You’ll need to ask me to bring you to the edge again and again. Make no mistake, I have zero intention of allowing you to orgasm today but instead making you beg for your release. You’ll learn to ask and receive permission before taking orgasms in the future.”

“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir for loving me enough to met out much needed discipline. I love you Sir and hope to do better by you.”

“You are most welcome my love. While all is indeed now forgiven, make no mistake that the rest of the day is reinforcing the lessons you’ve learned today AND you should plan to be in the belt for a good long time to come as you’ve now lost unbelted, unsupervised, time too.”

“I understand Sir.” I didn’t ask how long the belt would be on, as I knew the question wouldn’t be answered. It was irrelevant.

And he finally finished with, “but right now, I am so turned on and wound up that I think I need to orgasm myself. Get on your knees and prepare to receive my cum.”

And I did as instructed once more.

The end.

Hugs,

Marie

229 – Caned on Christmas!

i think it’s been nearly a year ago that we bought a cane. When i say we, i really mean ME! i was fascinated by it and wanted to know what it felt like. i wanted to know if it was better, worse, or just different than the paddle.

i asked David if i could buy one and he agreed. If i remember correctly, his words were something like, “be careful what you wish for.” And i (naively) said, “challenge accepted!” and i was super excited and got a cane.

We used it a couple of times for pure fun. David discovered how silent it was. He threatened to use it on vacations or at other similar times where silence (or near silence) is necessary to spank me for discipline reasons. i say “he threatened,” because we have not taken it out of town with us, nor have i otherwise been disciplined with it…. ever… until today!

After feeling the cane the first time, i decided i liked it better than the paddle.

In terms of how it compares to the paddle, it is actually a bit of a similar feeling. i wouldn’t exactly call it pain, but rather a stinging feel. The biggest difference is the coverage of my ass. The cane is extremely localized as the cane itself is quite thin, compared to the paddle that pretty much covers my entire ass in one smack as it is just bigger.

To better describe the feel, the best analogy i can think of is that the paddle is like the stinging you feel when your foot falls asleep and then try to walk on it immediately after. When your foot falls asleep, it hurts to stand up on it as it feels like needles are stinging all over. Of course, when your foot wakes up, the stinging subsides and eventually stops. That’s where the analogy breaks down because with the paddle, the sting builds more and more rather than dissipating. Oh eventually it does dissipate, but that is (typically hours) later and only after the intensity had of course amped up, not immediately down.

To better describe the cane, it feels like a bee sting. It is localized and specific in the coverage, but the actual stinging feel is the same really.

That was at least how i thought of the cane….until today. Today, changed my opinion of it. As i realized that a for-fun caning and a for-discipline caning are NOT the same!

But i suppose that ultimately, until today, i did not respect the cane the way i should have. Now i do!

i now think i ultimately decided before that i liked the cane better because it takes longer to feel the sting all over because of the localized feel. It takes longer to feel the sting on the entire land space of my ass. (i don’t have a big ass, but when i describe the paddle and cane here, it sounds like my rear is ginormous!). But little stings can be super intense and super stingy (is that a word?) even without the coverage. And today, i felt the true cane’s impact.

SO WHAT HAPPENED ANYWAY?

Ok, alright…. i will tell you….

Today did not start out as the Merry Christmas it should have been! But the holiday is ending super well, so all’s well that ends well.

SO WHAT HAPPENED ALREADY?

Well… so… this morning David’s parents called his phone to wish us a Merry Christmas and thank us for the gifts we sent. He put the phone on speaker and started talking to my in-laws, whom i love and adore.

Well…. As they must’ve also been on their speaker phone, both of them started talking while David was too. They were having a lovely conversation wishing Merry Christmas’, thanking for the gifts we sent, and describing what else they also received. And i really had no opportunity to speak but i knew i should too.

When they asked about what i received (new clothes), David pushed me from behind onto my shoulder. If i had been standing, it would’ve been like he was pressing me forward but of course i was seated. Instead of me speaking and answering though, before i even knew it, they were saying other stuff and then soon after hanging up, where I said absolutely nothing. i never even wished them a Merry Christmas or said goodbye.

i didn’t intend to NOT speak at ALL to them, but i guess I didn’t really try too hard to speak either.

David IMMEDIATELY came around in front of me and was angry. He said, “THAT was incredibly rude! Go to the bedroom. N-O-W!”

i stuttered. i tried to start into an explanation about why i didn’t speak. But the same as my words to his parents never materialized, neither did my words to him! Not that he even cared then because of course, the time to speak had passed.

Instead of me speaking or him listening, he spoke. He said, “I don’t care W-H-Y you didn’t speak. You didn’t try hard enough. Not a single word came out. GO! NOW!”

He was angry! As you might think he would be!

He followed me to the bedroom. As i got undressed and into position (on the bed with a pillow under my hips raising my rear higher in the air, and my head-shoulders-arms on the bed), he went to get what i thought at the time was the paddle but i soon found out it was the cane.

Our son was in the house and this was the first time ever that he intended to spank me when our son would hear. The paddle is rather noisy, but then so am i too! But sound wouldn’t be a problem with the cane. There would be none, unless it was from my lips, which i refused to do and we both knew it.

You might would think i would be afraid…. i mean, David was angry! But i wasn’t afraid. i never am.

i KNOW David is a good man and will NEVER hurt me more than i deserve. He will never abuse his power of authority, but rather enforce it to the extent needed. And he is ALWAYS in control of himself. i have only ever, in 25-years of being with him, seen him out of control twice. And even then, he regained his composure about as quickly as he lost it.

As immediately as i was in position, i felt the thwack of the cane. i didn’t hear the swish sound in the air. Probably because i wasn’t listening or anticipating it. But i sure as hell felt it!

He swung the cane with ease, but in full control and with intention to cause pain and regret. It collided easily with my ass and i immediately knew David’s plan. i had never had a discipline spanking from the cane, but i was about to now!

He swung the cane the second time and it swished in the air. i heard it this time and one second later i felt it too.

Many times in a row, he moved it up and down my ass and the more i felt it hit my rear, the more pain i felt.

At first he didn’t speak, which made me even more unsettled and upset. That was when i started talking to explain why I didn’t speak, he then started to talk to me about how rude i had been. And that i shouldn’t have been. And that i knew better.

And He was right.

Thwack! Thwack!

i began to squirm unmercifully. My head/shoulders came up off the bed. He said, “Get back in position!” in a voice that was uncannily calm, which unsettled me further.

i did as i was told.

Swish, Thwack! Squish, Thwack!

i heard myself saying, “i can’t take anymore” in no time at all.

He said, “you know what you have to say for this to stop!”

“I’M SORRY SIR.”

Swish….

Thwack, Thwack, Thwack!

“i know i should have spoken. i just didn’t. They were talking. You were talking. And i didn’t try hard enough. i am so sorry Sir.”

“Will this ever happen again?”

Thwack!!!

“NO SIR!”

Thwack!

“Are you sure?”

“YES SIR!”

Thwack! Thwack!

“Done. I believe you are remorseful. You are now done.“

He pulled me upright and he kissed me. He told me he loved me. And then said, “now let’s go get ready for Christmas lunch. Merry Christmas!”

And almost like it was on cue, my sister and her family walked into our house (the front door, not my bedroom door), our son came down the stairs, David went back to finishing our meal, and the merriment truly began.

i struggled to act completely “normal” as i greeted her family, but thankfully the holiday activities quickly provided a natural diversion. We started to open presents, and talk, all while my ass was stinging so badly and i just wanted the heat to dissipate!

i opened my presents standing up. i was able to make it look natural as my presents were on the coffee table too.

Only one other reference was made to the situation or the spanking the rest of the day when David quietly asked me one time when it was just he and i, “how are you feeling?”

i knew he was meaning to ask about my ass. I said, “sore. But it’s ok. It was needed.”

And he said, “and you accepted it like a good girl.”

i NEVER want to feel the cane again as a discipline. And i’m pretty certain David knows that now too, which makes me sure the cane will be his go-to punishment spanking implement now.

i had COMPLETELY underestimated the power of the cane! Never again!

My rear end has been sore all day, as a constant reminder of my submission. And while i don’t want to repeat that event ever, i am happy.

My day, my family, and my gifts were all wonderful. Including the gift of my husband teaching me a lesson i needed to learn. And of course, the gift of Jesus being the best of all!

Merry Christmas!

Hugs,

Marie