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Tag: domestic discipline

50 – Chastity Belt … Update

So because i mentioned it before and in a few comments, i’ve been asked for an update on the progress on my chastity belt, i decided to do just that… update you.

i’ve been doing a LOT of research. i’ve found a lot of chastity belts… gag gifts, very (VERY!) pricey, effective but not for me, ineffective and probably only good for pictures, and …. well… one that i have on order. This is what it looks like:

chastity belt i have on order

i rarely take (sexual/ naked) pictures of myself … and those that i do, only go to my husband… and never with my face…. but i promise you, if this one works as i hope it does, i’ll post a picture with it on for you. 🙂

CHASTITY BELT – WHY?!?

Okay, well, let’s review…. my husband and Sir, is the head of our house and of me. i am submissive. He has been trying to train me that my private parts are for him. And i’m only allowed to make myself happy with permission. This means that i am open to his touch whenever he wants to and if i want it by my own touch, i have to ask to masturbate and/or orgasm.

He feels orgasm control is the ultimate in my submission because forcing me to ask his permission to touch myself in a most intimate way means he controls my pleasure. And orgasm denial – both mine when I submit to his control and his when he says no – forces me to NOT be selfishly satisfy my OWN needs without putting him before me. And frankly, while i don’t particularly like not cumming when I want to, i do see his point.

i don’t like the rule because he makes me ask in person. It is VERY humbling (and submissive!) to say, “May i have permission to masturbate and to cum please Sir?”

And the seconds between that sentence and the answer sometimes feel like an eternity.

He frequently says yes, but sometimes he does indeed say no.

i think he says no for two reasons: 1) i tend to ask a lot (3-5x’s a week on average – and sometimes multiple times in the same day)…. and 2) because he can. And by saying no, it is an effective rule that i know requires no explanation, no further discussion, and is the final answer.

Well – the “NO” answer is what has led to this place. i’ve tried to be good. i’ve tried to accept that “NO” as his decision. i’ve tried to ignore the desire. But sometimes…. the more i try to ignore it, the more it becomes a ‘thing’ that i can’t successfully ignore.

So similar to a child doing something in secret and hoping to not be caught, i sneak into the closet and do it anyway.

And truly, i have done it and was not caught.

But my guilty conscious weighs heavy.

And i confess.

And i’m punished. Typically with a very intensive spanking, standing in the corner to contemplate it, and sometimes a second spanking.

But …. while that works ‘that day’, it hasn’t been a permanent solution…. and it’s rather detective than preventive.

So David decided i needed to research and find and buy a female chastity belt that was reasonably priced, effective, and able to be worn for long(er) periods of time. And i’ve done just that. And as mentioned, we have one on order. This is the one I bought.

i’ll make you wait to hear more though…. next post my friends. 🙂

(Am i being mean to make you wait?!? David makes me wait to cum…. so i’ll make you wait to hear about the chastity belt…. ha!)

i will leave you with this interesting article i found – Top 10 Facts About Chastity Belts…..https://www.top10hq.com/top-10-facts-about-chastity-belts/

Hugs,
Marie

47 – Submission is easy… until it’s not

Most days, submission is easy. Some days…. not so.

SUBMISSION – it isn’t a difficult concept really.

RULES = FOLLOWED = REWARDS

RULES = NOT FOLLOWED = PUNISHMENTS

And the rules i have, just really aren’t a big deal. i mean, David is fair and reasonable. And he doesn’t demand much. In fact, if i were in charge, i’d have more rules and require more compliance… but that would lead to bigger rewards and especially more punishment too!

But i think, in some sense anyway, because David is sooooo very reasonable, i probably use that to my advantage. i don’t exactly think this through mind you. It’s not like, i’m over here going, “Hey, let me take advantage of Sir to my benefit and get what i want under the guise of submission.” i’m NOT thinking that what-so-ever! But maybe, on some level, that may be kinda-sorta-what’s happening – i dunno?!?!?!

So what am i specifically rambling about?!? Okay – here’s the message of the day….

David had to go out of the country for work for almost a week. And where we was at, is/ was 7 hours ahead of me. i tend to get sexually wound-up in the evenings, which was in the middle of the night where he was. i have a “RULE OF SUBMISSION” to ask permission to masturbate and orgasm. But HOW can i do that when he’s sleeping?!

Okay, you probably know what happened…..

Y-E-S – okay, i did it! Without permission. Twice. Okay, so maybe once was a ‘oops, i should have asked’ but the second time…. no excuse, right? well…… i happen to agree. But i felt like i ‘needed‘ it. There are times when i feel like i just HAVE to cum….RIGHT….NOW. And i don’t know how to control that. And when i couldn’t ask… well… i just let things happen. uncontrollable.

And the day before David came home, i confessed. He said very little. When i asked about what he was thinking or why he hadn’t said anything, his response was, “There’s nothing I can do from here. And when I get home, I will deal with this. Until then, we will not discuss it.”

Yikes.

Okay, i deserve it.

When he got home… my ass was turned VERY RED. i got a spanking that hurt-like-hell. We do have yellow (slow down) and red (STOP) emergency words, but i have NEVER used either one and i have ZERO plans to EVER do so. i figure if i ever get close to that trouble, i will use it, but honestly, i deserve the punishment at the time i get it. Because, again, i don’t really get into trouble much and when i do get in trouble, David is very reasonable. And again, i’d be much more harsh than he is if i were in control.

He made me stand in the corner. Naked. And wait.

And wait.

And when he came to the bedroom, he said, “Assume the position”. Which means i stand with feet on the floor, hands on the bed, and ready to be spanked. i did.

He got the paddle out. i could hear it. i cringed. But he couldn’t see my face because he’s behind me. And yet, i’m accepting. i know this is going to hurt.

And he hits my ass about 10 x’s all over. Warm up. Already it hurts and this is JUST a warm up.

And then he pulls back and paused. i cringed more as i knew it was about to start.

S-M-A-C-K. WOW. It came hard.

Again, and again and again. And it happened so many times i lost count. He doesn’t make me count. But i do. Somewhere around 25 i lost complete count and had to focus on not saying yellow. i didn’t want to say that at all. i knew it was earned fair-and-square.

And finally, when tears were in my eyes, he stopped.

When he asked me if i was regretting my actions, i had to stop and think. i knew the right answer was ‘yes’ and in THIs moment i was…..but frankly, when i get horny and feel like i’m not in control of my emotions, i would do it again. And again. Without asking. So i told him that i want to be regretful, but i don’t know that i am.

David decided that if i can’t help myself, maybe i need to be helped.

There’s preventative and detective type of punishment. Detective is after the fact getting punished. And then there’s preventative, as in, can’t get in trouble if you aren’t in that position in the first place.

So …. David told me i need preventative help…..

And now we are investigating and looking into locking female chastity belts. i am equally excited and fearful of this.

But so far – the ones we’ve found are SO DAMN EXPENSIVE! (HOLY CRAP!!!).

Anyone use or wear or buy these? Any you’d recommend? That are effective AND price-conscious?!

46 – First spanking in 2020

So it didn’t take me long! In our re-start of D/s, i wasted NO time in getting my backside set in pain.. in grand form.

Hindsight is 20/20. Get it?! HIND and the year is 2020? Okay, maybe a bad joke. But i liked it. lol.

So this happened yesterday. i got soooo mad at a client at work. And that was right before i came home, so the entire commute home i stewed about it. So when i got home, i was still mad.

When David asked me how my day was, i told him (calmly.. …mostly…… okay, maybe not at all calmly…. i tried!) about how mad i was at this client and why. That’s when he started giving me advice and suggestions for how to deal with the client and the situation. The only thing was, i didn’t want or need his advice. i only told him … (okay, i’ll admit it ….NOT so calmly) … because he asked.

i do recognize that David was only trying to help. But i didn’t want his help. And i let him know…. in a not-so-calm kind of way.

i raised my voice … in frustration really.. and said, “i know all that already. This client is unreasonable and there’s no solution. So stop trying to help. And of course i was standing in front of him when i said this, so i ended with “can i go now?” i wasn’t even sure if i needed to ask if i could go, but given how i got to that moment, it felt natural to say outloud to him.

That’s when he said, “Excuse me? T-H-A-T is inappropriate. I think you might need to have an attitude adjustment.”

i very calmly (yes, it was calm this time because i knew i’d gone over the edge at this point)….said, “might or definite?”

He said, “Definite. N-O-W. Go get undressed and prepare yourself. i have things to do and i’ll be there when i’m there” i knew he was mad. Rightfully so.

So i did as instructed. i didn’t argue. i knew i shouldn’t have used the tone i did. But i was just so mad and he sent me over the edge.. and i lost control of myself. You know how you ‘take it out on the ones you love most”?? Well, that’s what happened. i clearly couldn’t yell at my client, so i yelled at David. Inappropriately.

i went to our bedroom and prepared for the spanking. i got undressed. Completely. As required. i assumed the spank position, which is where i stand on the floor, feet shoulder-width apart, hands on the bed, face looking at the bed (and my hands), feet squarely on the floor.

He likes for me to keep my heels on the floor when getting spanked and NOT MOVE. Impossible. No-can-do. As much as i try, i’ve NEVER succeeded in this. And that gets me into even more trouble. i happen to think physics won’t allow it. i mean when you spank, you send the butt forward, which causes the heels to leave the floor. Am i right or wrong? If wrong, any suggestions for being successful with this?!? i’ll gladly listen!!

i waited.

i’m not sure how long, but it felt about 15 minutes. Maybe longer. It was definitely long enough to really think about my situation and how i treated Sir. How it should have gone. How it will now be properly corrected. And to make my legs and arms a bit stiff from being in position. But i know better than to move too.

He came in. He said, “Do you know why we are here?”

“Yes Sir. i disrespected you by yelling at you and taking my anger out on you when you were only trying to help.”

“So are you prepared to accept your punishment now?”
“Yes Sir, i am”.

And he pulled the paddle out of the drawer. i couldn’t see it, but i know where it’s kept and i definitely recognized the sound of the drawer opening and closing. The paddle is Sir’s favorite tool. It hurts. It is big enough that with just one swing it covers my entire ass, so every single swing is a complete and total sting to my complete butt. No escape even when he moves his aim. It’s all the same. Pain all over from the first to the last swing of the paddle.

And the first one came. (H-O-L-Y CRAPPPPP….. it’s been a LONG time since we’ve done this. And i forgot just how painful that paddle is. And i knew he was reserving his swing to warm me up, but probably also to do the same for himself since we both were out of practice. And my heels came off the floor. Of course.)

And the second one. (how many can i take today? and my heels came off the floor and i’m already doing a little dance. Unacceptable and i know it!)

That’s when he says, “We are trying something different. Follow me. Now”.

So he walks to the kitchen. David does all the cooking in our house. i found this really cool, custom made Lazy Susan for the table to give him for Christmas. He pulled it to the edge of the table. He said, “Rest your hands, palm down, on this Lazy Susan. If it moves, or if your hands come off of it, you’ll regret it and receive even more punishment.”

THAT was a sexy turn on for me. i absolutely LOVE it when he takes charge and tells me what to do.. even when i’m in trouble. i felt my pussy let out it’s juices.

i did as i was told.

And immediately, i felt the next swing of the paddle hit. And my hands moved the Lazy Susan. Sir said, “Oh that was bad.”

And then he peppered my ass with a bunch of swats over and over and over. And i was surprised at how fast they came and they were causing my ass to sting something fierce. It was on fire!

i wasn’t good about the Lazy Susan not moving OR the heels coming off the floor at all. So Sir said, “you are not doing well with my instructions. I’m going to make your ass pay for this.”

And he did. Over and over again.

i tried to keep count, but i failed. Sir doesn’t make me count out loud, but i do try to do it in my head as it gives me something to focus on. But he was going so fast and hard that i lost count in a hurry.

And not only that, my ass was burning so badly with every-single-swing of the big ass-covering sized paddle that it was all i could do to try to take it with grace.

i felt the tears well up. i’ve never cried. i don’t know if i felt tears because of how long it had been since i was in this position and out of shape, or if Sir was going extra hard for having gotten mad and making a point here, or maybe it was my own mind working to break my spirited self. No matter ‘why’ i suppose really.

But as soon as i felt the tears forming, Sir said, “we are done with this spanking.” And i stood up, and he hugged me and kissed me. Told me he was proud of me and i did as i always do, i said, “Thank you Sir for the discipline. Thank you for being my head of house and thank you for your love.”

To which i thought then all would be forgiven, but instead, Sir said, “We aren’t quite done with the discipline though.” THIS is new…

He took me to the food pantry – still very naked and with a VERY sore butt that was throbbing in high gear – and said, “Stick out your tongue.”

And he grabbed the hot sauce. i HATE HOT STUFF. And Sir knows it. He LOVES hot stuff. So he has multiple bottles of it with varying heat. Thankfully, he chose a low-level heat sauce. (i’m not so sure the next time will be with the low-heat hot sauce).

He opened the bottle, poured some into his hand, and said, “Lick my hand clean.”

i cringed. But i did it. And immediately felt my tongue go hot. And then i swallowed. HOLY CRAP the back of my throat is on FIRE now.

He said, “You received the spanking for the disrespect and anger you showed, but this is for the volume you used. Next time you should consider chosing your words and volume more carefully.”

i said very simply, “Yes Sir.”

And then i swallowed. And it burned even more. That fire was in my throat for about 30-minutes and the tears came back to my eyes.

That’s when he said, “All is forgiven now.”
To which i responded with a simple, “Thank you Sir”

And waited for the burn in my ass and on my throat to subside.

That’s when i went to get dressed. i was surprised to find that my nipples were erect and my pussy was very wet. i didn’t expect to find that much arousal from this, but i know i love David so much for the discipline he administers and for being the Head of my life that it does get me excited. So i suppose i wasn’t really surprised for being wet.. but rather at how wet i was. He didn’t touch me sexually. He doesn’t when it is true discipline and i’m glad for that because that just gets confusing then.

So even though my renewed D/s first week hasn’t gone toooooo swell for my tongue or my ass, i’m grateful for Sir’s leadership and reinstalled corrections. The rest of the night was without issue and all really was forgiven and forgotten, to which i’m grateful for as well. Pre D/s the first time or even in recent months, we would have been in a huge fight and it would have lasted hours. Not now. We have effective resolution management.

In case you are wondering, my ass is still a bit sore today and slightly bruised. And tomorrow is when we resume our weekly maintenance day. Oh-My.

Hugs,

Marie

41 – DD is like finding the right pair of jeans

Domestic Discipline is as easy as finding the right pair of jeans that fit.  (that was humor).

It used to be that jeans were basic – Wrangler or Levi, they were blue, and fit was a just a matter of length and waist .  But NOW… they come in every style, shape, color, and fit.

That’s Domestic Discipline.  DD.

If you are considering it, or new to it, i’m here to tell you that every DD relationship is different.  And it takes time to get the right fit.  Our relationship is no different. It also takes constant revisions. It is fluid. Changing.

i expected to have a set of rules —  follow them = good, don’t follow = spanking. And while that’s the basic premise, it isn’t really the way it works in real life. Just like jeans aren’t “just blue”, life isn’t just “black and white”…. DD isn’t “Just good and bad and spankings resulting from the bad” either.

When it comes to jeans, you know when you have a good pair and you stick with it until they are completely worn out. And then you hope you find another pair exactly like it, but alas, they are not for sale anymore. So you have to try to find something similar but hopefully better. And the hunt is on.

i think marriage is a lot like that from the start. You hunt and search for the right person, and then you hunt and search for the right way to make it work.

But just like jeans, it ‘wears out’ or ‘wears off’. What i didn’t realize was that living DD 24/7 is hard. It’s easy to start. And maybe even on a date night or a weekend it is easy too. But when it comes to a full-marriage implementation, it gets hard. It takes complete dedication and discipline -from BOTH of you – to not ‘just relax’ and ‘take a break’ from it.

For example, i’ve been gone from here the last 2 weeks due to having SUPER hard days at work. i won’t go into the details, but i wanted to crawl in bed and NOT go back. At all. Ever. But that’s not realistic (or financially practical). There was a lot of change going on at work, nothing i was in control of, and every day was different in a way i wasn’t prepared for. That left me completely drained when i’d get home.

And cranky.

And Sir didn’t like that. Rightfully so.

But instead of spanking me to get me back on track, he chose to give me space. To let me work it out. i think he did this because he knew the problem wasn’t anything to do with him/ us/ our family, he knew i was trying to be good at home (but was failing). But frankly, being allowed to do what i wanted …… wasn’t what i wanted….. or what i needed. i’m just saying.

But telling him “Spank me” was making me cranky too. i wasn’t sure i having my ass blistered was going to help. So i let it go. But then last weekend, i said, “Something has to give. i have to be reassured you don’t just let me do my own thing anytime i want”. So he spanked me. And it H-U-R-T. My ass hasn’t felt a really bad one for awhile and it bruised. The bruising caused a ‘stinging’ feeling when i sat for the entire rest of the day.

He said we would resume maintenance spankings, which had also faded away (like the blue in your jeans). When i asked what the schedule would be, he said no. He wouldn’t tell me. When i asked why i couldn’t know, he said, “Just like the grass has a maintenance schedule, it doesn’t have to be on the exact same day every week. You just need to know this will happen ‘as needed’ the same the grass gets cut ‘as needed’.”

And just like that …..my jeans are fitting better….. thanks to DD ……

39 – Domestic Discipline- in life

For all you sex and spanking fans, this will be boring.

For all you Domestic Discipline fans, this might be insightful.

i know i mostly talk all about how our lifestyle revolves around “sex” and sex- related stuff. But it really isn’t just about that. It’s how our lifestyle is.

But i have come to realize that if i were in charge, things would be much stricter than they are. i’m not sure if Sir is just being a “good southern gentleman” or if he’s “shy” to take control or if he just doesn’t want to take control or maybe he just doesn’t think like me.

i asked him about this today and he said, “I don’t think you know what you are asking for.” But i think i do! i’m asking him to lead our marriage, to be the lead of our house, and ultimately me. In exchange, i respect, obey, and submit. In ALL things… sex and otherwise. Seems simple enough to me.

So here’s two examples of what happened just today …. i will tell you what happened AND what would have happened, had our roles been reversed.

Real life Example 1 – what did happen:

We like to play golf. Tomorrow we are going to play together. As of today, i have been braless for exactly one whole week. (Because i got my bras taken away last week when i didn’t have it off at 5:22 pm after work). And i TOLD David “i can’t play golf without a bra. It will hurt too much”

His response was, “hmm”.

Real life example 1 – what would’ve happened if our roles were reversed:

His response would’ve gone like this…. “excuse me? You have a rule that states ‘no bra when not mon-fri, 8-5, and tomorrow is a Saturday! So you have another thing coming if you think you can TELL me you are wearing one tomorrow! So you screwed up twice now… one by wanting to break a rule and two by telling me. Had you asked, I’d probably have understood your request and conceded. But now, you will absolutely NOT be wearing a bra! And maybe next time, you’ll think of how to word that to me in a way that is a respectful tone and in the form of a question with a ‘please Sir’ at the end. Do you understand me?”

And of course, i would be saying, “yes Sir, i am sorry Sir. i was clearly out of line Sir.”

And he would then respond with, “I’m not at all surprised to hear you apologize, but you will now be punished for your indiscretions. Get naked and assume the position.” (And prepare to be spanked, and to be followed up with standing in the corner for an indeterminable amount of time, until I decide otherwise!)

Real life example 2 – what did happen:

At 4:50, i got a text, “when home?” (And just to let YOU know …. today is a Friday and i NEVER work late on Friday’s. i truly believe i “have” to leave on time on Friday’s. i don’t know why, but i definitely have this “thing” about leaving on time on Friday’s).

So my response was, “10-minutes”.

Sir said, “ok, great. Can you stop and buy mozzarella cheese?”

Now the next thing you should know is that David cooks, and i clean. He was home cooking dinner when he sent those texts.

Real life example 2 – what would’ve happened if i were in charge:

“Because you WILL be leaving in 10-minutes, you need to stop to buy mozzarella cheese on the way home. Don’t forget.”

Now i don’t know about you, but the first example seems a bit more extreme to me than the second. But in both cases, i feel that i was disrespectful to Sir and he allowed it. i didn’t mean to be disrespectful, but like anyone, if allowed to do things inappropriate…. we do.

But just like a child, they need to be trained in the ways you want them to be. And if you allow them to treat you with dishonor, disrespect, and no submission at all…. well…. they won’t. And quite often, it becomes “who they are” and the way they do the things they do. And it becomes “normal.”

To a large degree, that’s how i am. We’ve been together for over 20-years (most of it married, but not all), and now, after finding DD only a year ago… my ways are dying hard. And David thinks i “don’t know what i’m really asking for”.

But i disagree with Sir. i think i know exactly what i am asking for and what i truly want. And i told him so too.

He responded with, “I’ll think about it. But you are not in control in the end!”

So we shall see.

Are you submissive? Have you asked for MORE? Did you regret it?

Hugs,

Marie