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Tag: denial

The Making Of A Pain Slut

I’m often asked if I really get off on pain. The truth is now I do — at least to the kinds of punishments Sir prefers to give — but it wasn’t always that way.

I’ve always loved a lot of breast play (my nipples are red-hot express lines direct to my cunt), but spanking, paddling, clamps, clothespins, hot wax, rope burn, slaps, etc. — on my breasts or anywhere — and maintaining difficult positions was all definitely more pain than pleasure in the beginning.

While Sir and I quickly discovered that I naturally became aroused by his inherent male powers over me, actual pain wasn’t so readily overcome by demonstrations of masculinity. Not even when combined with my desire to please him.

wife getting a spanking

But Sir knew just what to do.

As I’ve mentioned before, many D/s relationships are based on a submissive’s dependence. Not only simple acts of comfort or kindness, but a cleverly calculated combination of pleasure and denial. For example, rubbing my pussy while spanking, paddling or cropping my ass, sends my brain a flood of conflicting input… Am I feeling pleasure or pain? Which am I feeling more of? It was horribly confusing…

But Sir also used denial to make sure my brain and body were led from confusion and rescued — he made sure that the only time I experienced sexual pleasure was when I was experiencing pain at his hand.

Sure, I could suck his cock and get him off; but I never felt his hands or mouth or cock on me unless he was also hurting me in his desired fashion.

While he may have focused on one sort of pain or use at a time, the method was the same: pain always came with pleasure and pleasure never came without pain. Until I began to have sort of Pavlov’s dog response. Eventually I learned to connect the pain (as in our earlier example) of being cropped with the euphoria of arousal and eventual orgasm.

No spanking, no coming; no pain, no gain. By George, my brain and body finally got it!

So much so, that when I am simply told to assume the position for a spanking, my cunt will drool! I might also be trembling with fear and crying in anticipation of the pain; but I’m sopping wet too. Even the next day’s bruises, welts, and sore spots became aphrodisiacs… Memories of what had been done, to me and by me; how I’d been undone.

234 – Long term Chastity

i have written before about chastity belts. i own a (cheap Chinese) chastity belt, but as it is cheap, it has quickly deteriorated and seen better days. The old adage of “you get what you pay for” is oh-so applicable here.

i have eyed the more expensive, more permanent, ones for a long while.

My opinion of why i want one has not changed. i wrote about it before, where my primary thought about it’s best use and reason to wear it is to protect or lock up what’s valuable. i have not wavered in this thought.

As i mentioned before, but feel it worthy of repeating….. you lock up things that matter. Things that are important. That you don’t want to be lost, stolen, or taken.

My submissive pussy is important and worthy of physically being locked up to be used by only my Sir at his leisure and no one else’s… including and maybe especially my own lust and desire!

The good chastity belts are NOT cheap at all. In part because they are custom made to fit, as a result no two are exactly alike, causing the price to match the workmanship.

i asked Sir if i could purchase one almost a year ago. i think he underestimated my desire to have it. That was when we got a cheap Chinese one instead. That was a good compromise because the cost was “just enough” for the cheap one that if i decided i did not like it, it wasn’t a huge investment. On the other hand, if i decided i did like it, i would truly know what i was spending (a lot of) money on before getting that deep into it. And either way, what was spent on the cheap one was a good investment to learn from.

Recently i asked him again if i could buy the expensive, custom fit one. At the time i asked him, his response was nonchalant and was a “I’ll think about it.”

Well…. today he said Y-E-S!

On some sane (or maybe insane?) level, i think i should rather NOT want one of these belts. While i definitely believe what i said before about locking up valuables, it seems a bit insane to volunteer (let alone ASK!!) to have my most private parts be locked under a key that only David holds.

i may be insane. i don’t know. Or maybe i do know, but don’t want to admit it.

What i do know and am willing to admit is that my sex is so turned on most of the time. And as such, i am tempted to play with myself a lot. while i wish i could tell you it was “just” a temptation, frequently, it is not. Frequently i find pleasure in touching myself to the point of orgasm. And sometimes more than once a day!

In my previous experiences with the cheap Chinese belt, the desire to be touched to the point of orgasm, was exponentially heightened when locked up. i was sexually frustrated virtually 24/7, to the point of mental craziness quite frequently. It was ok though as it led to two things: 1) a tangible reminder that it isn’t mine to play with, 2) even more desire to please and to have sex with David. Both great side effects of the situation!

None of the personal touching was supposed to be happening anyway but it did. And a chastity belt is a sure fire way to take that option away!

i love the way it hugs my body and gives that secure feeling! i love the idea of having all control of my own body taken away from me and given to the one who holds the key!

The biggest problem i experienced before was hygiene and keeping clean. i learned a lot of ways to keep clean before, but now i have found a lot more online (with a whole lot of deeeeppppp searching!) that i am anxious to try out in efforts to do better here too.

The most interesting thing i found is that the best way to stay clean is to take showers or baths while being sure to clean/rinse as throughly as possible. While the lock itself is not that water proof and needs to be cared for, that’s the only part that can’t get (fully) wet in the shower.

Further, i found some sites where women (and/or men) are locked up for long periods of time. One lady’s site i found, she was locked for a full year. And her husband took her out, made love to her, she cleaned up, and was relocked. i have to believe she was able to take it off for a thorough cleaning at least (say) once a week, but she did not mention that specifically either.

i think i would like to ultimately be locked during the week; from Mon-Fri. And be unlocked on Sat-Sun.

We have traditionally not had time for sexual activities during the week, but can make up for it on the weekend. Additionally, weekdays are when i am away from David the most. It will take time to build up to this level of chastity, but this is what would like to see. We shall wait to see what actually happens though too!

After a lot of searching for the right one… i have made a decision. And it is going to be on order soon. It will likely take 6-12 weeks to arrive, but it will be worth the wait!

i am super excited while at the exact same time feeling super insane… or maybe it’s the most sane thing i have done in awhile… giving myself to David completely is what i have always desired. This seems like the best way to do just that! But again, that may be the insanity side talking!

Which belt you ask? Well… i will tell you when it comes in. Or better yet, i will show you… with a pic of it. But… you’ll have to wait. Just like me. 😉

Hugs,

Marie