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Tag: d/s marriage

184 – FICTION: Much needed stress relief

** one of my longest blog posts ever. Maybe “the” longest indeed. Maybe a word count is in order. Hmmm.

*** Fiction sex-stories just keep running through my head from a real-life situation. David really is currently stressed out, and I really want to have sex. So I just keep thinking of ways to serve him well… and that’s what caused this fiction story to develop…….

Work has him very busy and very stressed out and I know it. I’m doing my best to stay out of his way and not cause him trouble. So when I heard him call my name in a stern way, I suddenly became anxious.

I quickly responded with, “Yes Sir, coming Sir.”

He was sitting in his home office working, as he does everyday while I was trying to be quiet as a mouse. He had already made it known that he had some big deadlines coming up and I was not to bother him.

I understood. I know from previous times where his stress was high due to work deadlines that means I am to be quiet, yet available, and always agreeable.

I immediately went to him and I heard him speak the familiar words “Woman, present yourself.”

Of course I had no clothes on as I’m not allowed to wear them when we are in the house, for any reason. All I had to do was immediately push my legs shoulder-width apart, place my hands interlaced behind my head, and while looking straight ahead cause my chest to protrude outward too.

I wasn’t exactly sure what Sir had in mind considering he doesn’t typically break away from his work to inspect me, but nevertheless I’m always ready when he wants to.

He stood and came toward me. He smiled while his hand stretched reached for my nipple, to which he took between his fingers and just teased it with a hard but loving pinch. And then he did the same to the other one too. I didn’t move a muscle, as I’ve been trained for his touch long ago. I know better than to move when I am in present position.

His hand slid down onto my waist and he moved behind me. I felt his chin on my shoulder while his arms hugged me from behind. Again, I knew not to move.

He kissed my shoulder and took in my scent. I was becoming so aroused just by being touched so innocently by him. His hand slid down between my legs as his cock pressed against my backside. He found exactly what he was looking for: a wet, achy pussy.

Still I didn’t move. He pressed two fingers inside me as I was focused entirely on the mantra in my head, “Do not move. Remain still. Be the pleasing submissive wife he wants you to be. Do not move. Remain still.”

He then started pushing in and out while talking to me about mundane things such as, “so what shall we have for lunch today?”

And I responded, “whatever pleases you Sir.”

He laughed and said, “That wasn’t exactly an answer. But my love, you do know how to respond in ways that create music to my ears too!”

Ding-dong. The doorbell rang.

“Speaking of music in our ears…. right on time too!” he said.

Instinctively I flinched at the sound and he smacked my ass hard and said, “What was that about? You aren’t very focused if the doorbell caused that reaction! You know better than that!”

The unmistakable “ding dong” rang out again.

Sir pulled his fingers from my pussy and said, “don’t move.”

His office is just the first room right inside our front door, so of course when he moved to the door it was only a few feet from where we were standing. Thankfully, I was facing toward the interior of the office with my rear to the front door. I suspected whoever was at the door might see me, but Sir would be standing between them and me, creating a natural wall between us.

I had no idea who was at the door, but I wasn’t about to turn and try to see either. I heard Sir say, “just a minute while I go get my wallet.” And he moved away. I was exposed. I knew this person was seeing my entire backside, and even part of my side profile from the angle they were at.

I heard the stranger say, “oh wow.” He was clearly surprised at the sight of my backside that Sir had intentionally allowed him to have.

Sir came back and handed the guy some money and said, “keep the change.”

I heard the guy said, “You’ve made my day great. Thanks for the tip, and the view.” I heard both men chuckle.

Sir said, “yeah I can see that tip has obviously made you happy by the bulge there in your pants. You must like what you see. Come back anytime.”

He responded, “I just might do that!”

And with that, I heard the door close.

Sir came to me and said, “lunch is here. I took the liberty to order Chinese delivery.”

I still didn’t move or speak as I knew my place and he hadn’t given me permission to move from my position yet, even though my arms and back were truly starting to ache from this longer-than-usual inspection.

Sir said, “you may break now.” That was the cue I was anxiously waiting for, and I thanked him.

We ate lunch in our usual way. When I’m not being asked to do sex-slave duties, I am his submissive wife but we would be like any other couple you see on the streets and at home, with the exception of me wearing no clothing of course. Nothing exciting, really. And we talked about the usual affairs.

Until Sir said, “you need to finish before me and go get under my desk. You need to be there, hidden from sight, but waiting for me when I sit down for my Zoom call.”

I did as told. I like being his submissive wife and doing the things that make him happy. So I responded with, “Yes Sir” and started to eat at a bit quicker pace than usual.

When he returned to the office, of course I am already in place. I wouldn’t dream of intentionally disappointing him. He sits in his chair and he looks at me and starts to speak, “while I am on this zoom call you will suck my cock. You should make sure to do it with enough enthusiasm to convince me you deserve this alone time with my cock while I’m busy earning a living for our family. And yet, you can’t make any noise so as to distract my colleagues while we discuss our business dealings. If you manage to get me off before the call ends, you will be rewarded. But if you do not or if you make too much noise, you will be punished. Do you understand?”

I was ecstatic to be allowed to pleasure Sir while he was working. He’s been so stressed with work, I’ve hardly had anytime with him at all and definitely none with his cock.

I got the biggest grin on my face and said, “oh goodie Sir! Thank you for allowing me to worship your cock. You know how I love sucking your cock!”

Because I’m not allowed to touch him without permission and as he moved his chair closer to me he said, “you may take my cock from my pants, but you are allowed only to touch my pants with your hand. The only thing I want touching my cock is your mouth.”

I unzipped his pants with my hands, and proceeded to only touch him after that with my mouth. I didn’t want to do anything to earn punishment, or to have him take away my cock-worship time.

And with that I heard the clicking of the mouse and I heard Sir say, “Hey guys. How are you?”

My tongue swirled at the tip of his cock. I tasted the pre-cum drop that had already formed there.

I heard the others say how they were doing and asked Sir how he was. He said, “oh I’ve been stressed lately, but I expect I’ll start to feel relief soon.”

I knew he intended for me to hear that comment! And it gave me the encouragement to take his whole member into my mouth. I pushed my mouth down onto his cock, taking him deep into my throat.

I began to thrust my mouth up and down causing his cock to become harder and thicker with every move. I could tell Sir was enjoying this slight distraction from his daily grind.

They were talking all sorts of business things that I knew nothing about, but I didn’t care about it either. I had one goal and that was to get my Sir to ejaculate fully into my mouth.

Sir has told me before that I give good head and it encourages me to try to do even more each time he allows me this pleasure. I decided to try to go as fast as I could, so I was moving up-down-up-down in rhythm. I could hear the beat in my head as I moved in time.

And with each thrust I pushed him deeper and deeper in my throat. Each time I pushed fully down onto his cock, I could feel his cock touch the back of my throat. It was divine pleasure to feel his thick cock fill my mouth so entirely.

But I wanted more.

I know from experience I can push his cock past the touch of my throat and have it slide down, but it’s hard to do from this position. It’s so much easier when I’m laying on my back on the bed, with my head hanging over the side while he throat fucks me. When he does that, his cock just slides right into my throat as smooth as butter!

Maybe I could achieve that same result from this position too, but I really wasn’t sure.

As I was trying to get a better angle on his cock, continuing to move up and down, I hit my head on the desk. Oh-shit.

I heard someone on the call say, “is everything ok? Did we lose you?”

I had became the exact kind of distraction he had warned me against! I held his cock in my mouth while holding perfectly frozen in time. I was so mad at myself. How did I fuck this up?

That’s when I saw his hand come under the desk. I felt his hand come up to my cheek and touch it softly. And that’s when he pulled away and came back hard again. P-O-P. He gave my cheek a really hard pop that sting pretty good. It was intentional. It made a point.

I didn’t expect that exactly, so I nearly moved enough to have my teeth grind into Sir’s prized possession. Biting him would’ve been a complete disaster so I’m grateful to have held my mouth still enough to not do that to him! But the message was clear…. punishment was soon coming.

I heard Sir say, “oh that was nothing of importance. I just hit something under my desk. I’ll have to take care of that later.”

At this very moment that was what I was. Something … a distracting “something” at that. And between the pop to my cheek and the comments made aloud, he made it clear punishment would ensue soon enough.

While my mouth still surrounded his cock, I felt the unmistakable sense of his cock deflating. He had lost interest in my cock worship. But I hadn’t been told to stop, nor had he pulled himself from my mouth, and the Zoom call hadn’t ended either so I still had a chance to get him off before it ended. Although I was skeptical at my chances of success, I knew I had to try!

I started again. I thrust up and down, swirled my tongue on his cock. I felt it flick, which I knew meant it was regaining blood flow. I felt it thicken in my mouth and I was encouraged. I had hope that I might could still get him to orgasm yet.

I worked hard to get him off. This time though, I was completely in-tune with his Zoom call, where I was much more careful to make no noise of any kind.

I pushed him deep inside my mouth. When I pulled out, I made a point to swirl my tongue at his tip. I’ve always known that little flick of the tongue excites him so much. And I pushed even deeper again. And swirled my tongue even more. And again. And again.

I heard him finally say, “that does seem like a great place to be.” And a minute later I heard, “Ahhhhh, yes.”

It was with the word “yes,” that I felt his hand on the back of my head. He grabbed my head and held me still. His cock was deep inside my mouth. I was finally rewarded with one solid flex of his member, followed by a thick stream of cum shooting deep into my mouth. It almost gagged me, but Sir had trained me to accept his gift without gagging. So I concentrated on breathing through my nose, slowing my heart rate, keeping my mouth as wide as possible, and drank down every drop of cum his beautiful cock offered me.

That was when his hand released his grip. He started to stroke my hair with petting moves, while he pulled his cock back from my mouth too. I heard him say, “This has indeed been a productive meeting gentleman. I need to go take care of some to-do’s that have come from this meeting and we will be in touch soon.”

I knew the “productive meeting” comment was meant to say I did good to get him to orgasm, but the “take care of to-do’s” was me being punished too. I started to cringe as I wasn’t looking forward to the punishment that ensued.

He pulled his chair back from the desk and he said, “while you were indeed successful with giving me stress relief, you didn’t fully carry out your full directive either. Did you?”

“No sir.”

“And what did you do wrong?”

“I became too greedy and popped my head against the bottom side of the desk, causing you and your co-workers an unnecessary distraction Sir.”

“Yes you became a greedy cunt, didn’t you? Why did you act like an untrained bitch? You know better! Or at least I sure thought you did.”

Disappointment rose up in me. He was right in that I have been trained better. My service to him has been a long time int he making, and I love doing it. But today my service wasn’t complete.

“Yes, but Sir I was just so grateful for the opportunity to give you the needed cock-worship you deserve that I….”

He cut me off. “That you failed to follow my directive. You acted like an untrained slut who doesn’t know her place. Do you think that gave me stress relief to know you need to be trained better than I thought you were?”

Feeling dejected, I dropped my gaze to the floor and I responded with, “No Sir”.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you. You don’t get to hide your eyes from me and not feel the full brunt of the shame you should be feeling. Are you ashamed of the service you failed to deliver today?”

I looked up and straight into his eyes. And I said, “Yes Sir” as tears started to blur my vision.

He said, “That’s good. Now because you were successful in getting me off in the end, I won’t give you the full punishment I was originally thinking I would. Go stand in this corner. Think about how this could’ve gone better and how you will do better next time. You’ll stand there until I say otherwise.”

And he pointed to the corner behind him. I moved silently to the corner of the room.

Only about a minute after I was in place, I heard Sir clicking away at the keyboard. He was back to work.

Then it wasn’t too long more when I heard him say, “Hi all. I’m glad we can have this meeting today. So where to begin?”

He had clearly begun yet another Zoom meeting for the day.

I heard someone say, “Oh this may well be the best Zoom meeting of the day so far. I like what I see!”

And Sir said, “I’m glad I can bring you all some small pleasure. I have had some small pleasures myself today, but don’t let the view distract you as we have a long meeting ahead. Although because I didn’t find the fullest expected pleasure I had hoped for earlier, some thought provoking positions had to be put in place. So rest assured, your view won’t change. Let’s get started shall we?”

And with that, I knew Sir had joined his next Zoom call with everyone seeing my naked ass in their sight… and I was going to be standing here for a long while… contemplating how I didn’t deliver on the expectations and fullest pleasure possible to my Sir. I’ll have plenty of time now to think about how to do better next time though… including maybe another chance to even meet the lunch delivery boy face to face too! 😉

Hugs,

Marie

179 – Installing a Pool

David and i recently officially decided to pull the trigger and install a pool in our backyard.

Because of COVID, it is incredibly hard to get this done… and more expensive than we even imagined. We thought long and hard about it. With COVID, the demand is high, causing the supply to be low. Every pool builder reports having more requests for private (socially distanced!) pools than they’ve had in their entire company history. One builder flat out told us, “we have a wait list of 50-pools already, and with our building pace and crew, that means it would be 6-9 months before we start your pool, and as much as a year before you are actually swimming.”

A whole year wait! 😳

And because of that, they also have raised the price too. Because they can. I know I would if I were them. I mean, why not?!?

But after thinking, talking, reconsidering the budget, getting bids, and drawings… we have pulled the trigger. We have found (what we think is) a great builder, who says we will be “swimming by mid-summer.”

i suspect our dogs won’t like it one bit. But i know i will!

i have already had lots of sexual thoughts about swimming naked…..

My boobs will flop up and down as i hip up and down moving all around. My pussy will love the hot tub jets pressing the lips to part as the hot water jets deep inside.

Maybe i can convince some unsuspecting couple to come ravish me on the side of the pool or in the pool itself with the sun setting on the side of the house.

Oh and let’s not forget the tanning … nude… in my backyard… NO tanning bed for me, and yet, NO tan lines either!

Any takers? Anyone want to come help me christen the pool and break it in right?

i am (almost) ready for the summer. Are you?

Hugs,

Marie

177 – Craving submission

i have mentioned how i am a strong person outside our home. And i am. i wouldn’t say or call myself “Dominant” to the people outside our home on purpose because i wouldn’t necessarily say that is true. But maybe “normal” or “just like everyone else” is definitely true. And definitely more “dominant” outside my home than my “submission” inside the home.

In other words, dial up the dominant a notch …. or three, and dial down the submissive that same amount when i am outside our home (without David). That last part is important, because whenever I am with David i am the same submissive wife, regardless if i am inside or out. But sometimes that’s hard to do (be submissive outside the home) when i am with others AND David at the same time. But that may be inspiration for another post as well.

When i am outside our home, without David, maybe a little Dominant too. But i would define dominant as in …. the ordinary and normal ways of the world. At work, i have a job where lots of decisions are made, i direct a lot of people’s activities, and am asked for a lot of information….. and i do it all with complete confidence.

And then i go on “overload”. Too many questions, too many required decisions cause me to yearn for easy days, doubt seeps in, indecision starts to happen… and i start to overthink and then i do think, “no more! Time out!”

And i just want to go home…. and be a submissive wife!

i crave submission.

That happened yesterday. And when that happens, i go to my submissive mindset. i mentally withdraw from the world and go to my Submissive-self.

i will say it again….

i crave submission.

i start to find ways to get it. It feels a bit like an addiction …. or maybe a life-line is really a better way to describe it. It has a “i am going crazy here and need to escape to a good, safe place” feeling about it.

My safe place is my submissive wife mindset. It’s not a physical place, but a mental place. It is definitely the physical place of my home… but as mentioned above, it is also outside my home when i am with David.

i don’t do drugs of any kind, unless prescribed. And yet, in a mental-way, being submissive is my drug of choice. My addiction is being a submissive wife to my husband.

That’s usually when i come home and say stuff to David like, “i need maintenance.” Or something like that anyway.

Most of the time, he says “ok, let’s do it.” And i go assume the position to be spanked and then it releases the endorphins, in both of us really, to be calm and let the outside world be … well, ….outside.

This time i didn’t do that though. i didn’t ask for maintenance. i didn’t really get the release i was craving or needing.

W-H-Y?

Well, David has been really stressed out from work for a month or so now. He has a lot of work to be done, and his team isn’t getting it done, which means he has to pick up their slack. That means he is working more than usual and with more intensity and stress.

The stress at my job and me craving to submit, doesn’t mean i can come home and “demand” he manage me too. If i did demand for him to be my dominant, my Sir, pay attention to me, or even just spank the endorphins out…. i would probably call that “topping from the bottom.”

Topping from the Bottom isn’t really submissive at all, but rather telling him how to dominate and ultimately causing him to be submissive to me.

Yet…. it’s a tricky place too. i need to be able to have open communication about how i am feeling ….. and craving submission….. while not telling him what to do too.

This might be a time where i could “brat” too. And sometimes i have in the past. Meaning that I would do something bad to test or dare him to stand up and take action. To see how dominant he really is. To see if he will tolerate bad behaviors. But testing our loved ones isn’t a good way to act or a good place to be. While he might respond well, it could also set you both up for failure really.

So instead of doing those things….. and getting a much-over-due spanking (or discipline) …. i just acted like an adult and said, “i know it’s because we have both been stressed, but i am craving submission. And i hope you are craving dominance, because i’d like to amp it up again. To put it back where it belongs.” (With “it” being our relationship dynamic.)

He said, “I agree. We both need it.”

We have been a bit “removed” from our usual selves and withdrawn from one another lately because of our work demands. And i don’t even mean just our dynamic, but quite literally physically and mostly mentally, removed from one another. When we get overwhelmed with “anything” we have no more capacity for anything else to be added, so we block out that other thing. So lately the part that has been blocked out has been “us” and our dynamic.

It’s not all bad, as we haven’t been fighting or anything like that. But we haven’t been in our D/s typical home dynamic either…… which is why i haven’t written lately.

Besides stress of work, there hasn’t been much to write about! Not much inspiration to tell you about!

But i do have some fiction stories I my head that will probably make their way to this site soon too…. 😉

Anyway… after me nudging David back into being my dominant, and me telling him i am craving his dominant hand…. i suspect i may have more inspiration here quite soon again.

(And this coming week we are taking a 3-day road trip to do two official university tours with our son. It’s quite probable that the D/s dynamic outside our home may well be tested in full! So i may have even MORE inspiration to write about than i even know! Stay tuned!!).

Hugs,

Marie

187 – what is “submissive service”

(This is a long post, but after reading through it several times trying to find things that i thought could/should be cut… i didn’t want to…. so… it is what it is.)

i have talked a bit about this before. But i feel like talking again. So i will. Ha. And in reading this nonfiction book that i mentioned before, “Real Service” by Tenpenny and Kaldera, i have new thoughts to add, at least i hope anyway.

But before i dive in, i want to give a couple of (only my opinion) thoughts of “what’s the difference between a submissive and a slave. Because while i’d love to be a “sexual slave,” to my husband, i am not. i am quite thoroughly and completely “just a submissive wife” in every aspect.

And why do i make a point to make this distinction? Well… keep reading and it will hopefully become more obvious.

Similarities: Both a submissive and a slave conform to a Dominant’s will, both defer to another’s authority and both ultimately find their own pleasure in making someone else happy. At its core, a submissive and a slave provide a service(s) to a Dominant.

Differences: And while both submissive and slave have a lot in common, they are still quite different too. At its core, a submissive is more free and has more control than a slave. Not to say a submissive is “less” than a slave, because i am NOT diminishing the significance or importance of a submissive whatsoever! It’s just that a submissive has more free-thinking-authority than a slave.

A slave has less control of one self than a submissive. A slave makes less decisions than a submissive. A slave has their decisions taken away from them (freely) whereas a submissive makes decisions (within the given authority of the Dominant). A slave requires more effort of the Dominant (to control and make the decisions for the slave), than what is required of a Dominant with a submissive.

So i guess my ideal combination would be to submit to my husband in everything… except sex. For sex, i would much prefer to have all my control and decisions be taken from me and to be his slave. But it’s not up to me. i suppose in an odd way of thinking of it, having no control over this decision… makes me a slave to the situation!?! (Hmm, not sure if i think that sentence is true really, but having “no control” is at the essence of a slave’s situation/persona… so maybe ??)

What is in my control is learning to be the best submissive wife i can be… which i would ultimately have to admit… includes sex too.

Submissive wife:

i am my husband’s best friend… and submissive wife. (And he is my best friend…. and Dominant husband).

When people say you can’t live a D/s or kinky lifestyle 24/7, i disagree. This is exactly what and how we do it. i am his submissive wife 24/7. That is at least until we slip out of our ways of doing things because of stupid things like “work stress” monopolizing our “home life”…. which is another topic of “how exactly do you maintain the ways of doing things 365-days a year without slipping away from it.” (Good question… i haven’t mastered it!)

i recently saw someone else post a blog that was basically where we have been lately, and she called the “out of the D/s routine” as being in a “rut.” And i suppose that’s a great way to think and a great word for it too. (Again, how to NOT go into a “rut” isn’t in my wheelhouse just yet… and back to today’s blog….)

While i agree there are some things that you simply can’t do 24/7 due to its extreme level/intensity, there are a lot of dominance and submission that absolutely can be done 24/7.

As i mentioned, i am reading the non-fiction book, “Real Service,” where the authors make a point to say and explain how a submissive provides service to a Dominant. And that “service” comes in many forms, including sexual but not just sexual. Service tasks range in its complexity from mundane of housework, errands/shopping, and paying bills, up to other specific things that would fit this particular D/s dynamic like secretarial, being a chauffeur, butler, or chef… and always companionship.

The key is ensuring that whatever services are provided from the sub to the Dom is what the DOM WANTS! The service is meaningless if the Dom doesn’t want (or need) it.

In one section of the book, the author (a Dom) talks about how his sub was performing tasks that the sub thought the Dom wanted, but in fact the Dom did not. The Dom realized he was upsetting his sub when in fact what the sub was doing wasn’t at all important, needed, or valued by the Dom.

The author writes, “Faced with his [the sub’s] disappointment, I had two choices: I could beat myself up for not being able to do this [“this” meaning the Master trying to become satisfied with what the sub was doing for the Master], or we could work together on making the activities that were meaningful for me likewise meaningful for him. And we chose the second option.”

The first key point or takeaway i have here is:

Even if i want to do it, if it means nothing to David…. it isn’t what i should be doing. i need to be doing what David wants, not what i want or what i think he wants.

Sometimes if i were being fully honest, i think i do things trying to impress him and ultimately find favor in order to receive his praise. Only for him to find that he didn’t want or need it, but he now has to decide to: 1) hurt my feelings by telling me it wasn’t wanted, 2) learn to like what i did, 3) give praise for something he neither wanted, asked for, or needed. And let’s face it, options #2 &3 are lying/deceitful to me (and forcing him to bend to me) and may make me think he liked my efforts, leading me to repeat them to get #2 &3 to occur again… vicious circle. All the while, i was just trying to provide a (good) service go/for him but going about it in all the wrong ways.

That seems obvious at its core, i get that. But sometimes i (and maybe other subs too) am certain i know what will make him happy and set out to do these things, only to be disappointed upon figuring out that wasn’t at all what i should be focused on and it didn’t make David happy one iota. And likewise, it puts David in a position to either accept (and learn to like) the service i am giving him… or for him to teach/train me to give the service he is actually wanting (and for me to be happy doing that task instead).

So being reminded to do what he wants, not what I think he wants, is pretty key!

Going back to the submissive versus slave part, i would love nothing more than to be David’s sex-slave not “just” his submissive. But it’s just not what he wants. He wants me to be a submissive wife…. in ALL aspects, including sex.

When it comes to sex specifically, being a submissive doesn’t feel like it is “enough”. At least not for me. But i’d say David thinks being a submissive, even for sex, is plenty enough. So at the end of the day, i am fully aware that what i’d like to do or be… a sex slave… is irrelevant.

i would like to be told (“made”) to…….

Be naked as much as possible, strut in front of him, sit on the floor beside him, not be allowed to be out of his sight, have my mouth stuffed with his cock regularly, sit on his cock and do all the work to get him to orgasm, stuffed with a dildo to stretch enough to accommodate him without any difficulty, be spanked if not wet at the moment he wants/needs me to be, to be punished if unwanted pubic hair is ever found, to wear a butt plug to stretch the back whenever he wants, to be taken when i am sleeping for no other reason than because he wants me, to be tied up or gagged in positions that he has full access, to wear a chastity belt most of the time, to be shared if he wants to, and and and ……i could go on…….

Don’t misinterpret what i am saying to mean i am not my husband’s submissive for sex… because i am. But i want to be MORE than just submissive for sex. i want to be owned, and to have no other options available to me, as it comes to sex. (i love being his submissive wife for all the mundane things of life, but i would really love to be his sexual slave to in the bedroom too.)

But….. that’s not really what i think David wants. If he did want these things, he’d be doing it. Or maybe he does want it, but it’s just not a practical way to live 24-7, 365-a year. So maybe “just” being a submissive is the better way to do things…. most of the time and a sex-slave “only on occasion.”

The author continued by saying, “The servant is obligated to do things the master’s way, and if they’re a good servant, they should work on not acting too resentful while they’re doing it. A good thought process…..might be “No one is going to die if I do things Master’s way.””

This is true for all service rendered by a sub to her Dom. And for me, in the daily-submissive-wife-things i typically do think this way. i often find myself thinking, “while this isn’t how i would do it, my way isn’t necessarily better or his worse even… so just do it his way and be ok with it.”

But when it comes to wanting to be “more” for sexual activities (read “sex-slave”), i ultimately want to have my entire sexual being become his play toy at any time or any place he wants. But David wants it a different way. And i need to be be ok with that. i need to learn to do it his way, which for me feels “less” than what i want to give and what i think he deserves. But at the end of the day, …..I never want to be the source of his disappointment or him having to figure out how to like what i want to give and let’s face it: “no one is going to die if i do things Master’s [David’s] way.”

i suppose most of this is common sense really, but it was also a lightbulb moment for me in that thinking of…. “of course that makes sense. It’s the best way for the D/s relationship to truly work in harmony”. That said, if it was ALL common sense for everyone, there wouldn’t be a need for the Book i am reading to have been written at all! Right??

Anyway…. i have realized my submissive wife homework is to become more in tune with:

1) is this service (any service, including sexual) something David wants or is it something i want him to want?

2) if it’s the latter, what would he want?

3) and if it’s the former, am i doing it in a way that’s fully pleasing to him?

i am really enjoying this book… maybe you should consider reading it too. It’s not just for subs either!

Hugs,

Marie

171 – A Spanked wife is a Happy Life

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Happy Wife, Happy Life”. But i would propose a change to that phrase to instead read….

A SPANKED WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE.

“We all know who wears the pants in that family!”

“It’s obvious who’s in charge in that relationship”

These are sentences we’ve heard or even spoken before. The very idea that a relationship has equality is absurd to me. When there are just two people, who are voting their “side,” there can be is stalemate when the two sides are opposing. It results in a 50/50 split. And who is the one to break the tie? Who is the one to relent? Who is the one to say, “we will do it your way.”???

While i think there are relationships that may well be nearly equal in that both sides relent frequently, never is it completely equal. Which means that someone is in control and makes the decisions, and the someone else relents.

That someone who gets the win, “wears the pants.”

That person making the decisions is the natural Dominant and the person who relents is the natural submissive.

In our house, i do not even try to be equal as i don’t want to be. i want to submit to his will and his authority, as he submits to God’s will and God’s authority. This keeps it all in (our version of) balance.

So the person who wears the pants in this family is NOT me!

But sometimes balance doesn’t stay in balance. And it needs a reset. Or discipline. And in my opinion, the best reset is a spanking.

i did some research and picked out some reasons to spank your wife and how it leads to a happy life. Of course, i picked the ones i wanted to write about and ignored all the nah-sayers, so this is nowhere near official. Lol.

As such… take it as MY OPINION (with support for said opinion).

Reasons to spank your wife…..

#1: Power is Sexy… which leads to LOVE

Powerful people are (mostly) attractive and sexy. Think about some of the most influential people in society and even specific to your life. Odds are, they are confident, in control, (Dominant), and…. sexy.

And where there’s sex, there’s love. Okay, not always, but sexy can lead to love and in any “relationship,” i sincerely hope there’s love!

And if you have enough love in the relationship, you love her enough to correct the misbehavior. And you love him enough to submit to the spanking.

Spanking someone, done from a position of power is love. It means you are loving someone enough to do what is needed, even when it’s hard. And yes, it should be a bit hard for the Dominant to do. Because you don’t want to hurt her, but rather to guide her, and sometimes that requires tough love… and discipline.

#2: It will keep her calm

For me, i am a Dominant woman in much of my outside-the-home life. That may come as a surprise to some of you but it is true. At work, i am a boss. When things flow the way they should, i am calm. But how often does that happen?

At home, i am NOT in control, nor do i want to be. i want to come home and know i can relax and not have to make any decisions. i like to follow rules and directives. But sometimes even that doesn’t happen.

When these things don’t flow in the right order, chaos occurs. Now I know chaos is part of life but i don’t like it! And it typically throws me into a tizzy.

Spanking restores the calm and reason. It centers me. It forces me to focus on just one thing…. standing still and listening to Sir’s voice in THIS moment.

It grounds me, and restores the calm.

#3: Creates Intimacy and Builds Trust

Getting naked and baring your bottom for someone to see (and spank) requires intimacy. Physically by showing yourself to him. Mentally by showing yourself to him.

Yes, i said the same thing for both mental AND physical. Because it’s true. You have to unclothe your physical self AND your mental self to submit to a spanking.

So while you are unclothing and showing yourself to him, you show him you trust him enough to lead you, to guide you, and to be in control…. without abusing that control or trust. You are saying, “i trust you Sir!”

Which ultimately leads to the utmost levels of intimacy for both of you!

#4: Biblical

While you won’t find “spank your wife” in the Bible, you will find, “Husbands are to lead and women are to submit.” And (in my opinion) failing to submit requires disciplinary actions to get things on track.

All the way back to the Bible times, it was clearly written and people accepted it as the way of life, that men and women are not equal. And as such, discipline is necessary.

#5: Love

When you love her enough and care enough to discipline, you care about keeping the love alive and well in your relationship. And when you love him enough, you will submit to a spanking because you will know that it is good for you both. It builds up your relationship in a way that you just can’t imagine. And once you do it, you’ll agree….

The love is deeper and more profound than anything you had before……

And you never want to be wearing the pants in your family again.

But you will want to pull them up after that spanking is done and hopefully you don’t have to do it again anytime soon!

Hugs,

Marie