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260 – Active submission

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 260 – Active submission

Offering to submit may be either passive, as in yielding or surrendering, OR it can be active, as in gifting or offering.

i have recently started listening to various podcasts as i get my exercise in for the day. (Usually i walk 1-3 miles a day in the morning hours, before work.)

i try to listen to self-help type podcasts, specifically with the “submissive wife” or D/s type of content. i look for instructional how-to type podcasts. Because our dynamic is 24/7, meaning it’s more than just sex-scenes, i like to hear about helpful advice and best practices for being a good submissive wife type podcasts.

Recently i listened to one that the author talked about “active submission.” What it means, what it is, how to do it, and so forth.

Active versus passive. Dominant versus submissive.

Generally speaking, many people think the words “active” and “Dominant” go together, while “passive” and “submissive” go together. In fact, when you look up the word “passive,” one of the synonyms is “submissive.”

It would seem to reason that if passive and submissive are synonyms, then active and submissive are antonyms. That’s not quite true though. In fact, the antonyms of the word “passive” is not active, but rather unyielding, resisting, and protesting.

So based on that, i would argue though that while the seemingly natural combined words of passive and submissive can go together, they don’t always have to be paired that way. i think the the words “active” and “submissive” can and should also be put together.

The word “active” is defined as “engaging or ready to engage in physically energetic pursuits.” Any spouse, Dominant or submissive, should all be engaged, or ACTIVE, in their marriage.

If you think about the development of a relationship, it starts with the dating phase. We are always at our best then. We want to actively spend time with one another, seek out ways to impress one another, and generally present ourselves in ways that are pleasing to one another.

Then we “get engaged.” i think it’s funny how we say, “engaged to be married,” in reference to those desirous and working toward the goal of standing at the altar and saying I do. Here again, we are actively pursuing one another and “engaged” in the relationship with one another.

However, once that goal is achieved (of being married), we don’t see “engaging” as necessarily part of the formula thereafter. Once we get married, we settle into things … house, work, kids, pets, and .. well, life. Yet, i think we should be engaging in our marriage too! If we were all actively engaging in marriage, we might just have more success in being happy and staying married. i am, of course, NOT a marriage counselor, but just go with me for a minute here too.

Recognizing we are not always active or always passive, we should indeed have a mindset to engage with our spouse in the moment and in the way it is needed too. Add to this too, for one to be active does not automatically imply the other must be passive. It’s not a give and take thing, but rather a give and give thing. For one (or more) to be active only implies that one (or more) others must be accepting, which should go both ways!

So what does active Dominance or active submission look like anyway?

As mentioned, active dominance seems to be a natural concept for most people, so i think that one is easy. It means the Dominant gives instruction, sets expectations, makes decisions, has control, and delivers consequences when the submissive does not (quite or fully) measure up.

Active submission may seem to be more challenging then, as it would seem two people can’t both be active at the same time. It would seem to stand that if the dominant is active, then by default the submissive must be passive. i would disagree because remember, active means engaging.

Active does not mean forceful or getting your way or being in charge. So even an active Dominant does not (or should not) imply they are automatically forceful. They just have to be engaged in the well being of the marriage and family dynamic so that they make the decisions. And then the submissive should work to be engaging (or “active”) and accepting, but NOT forceful.

This is a good place for me to say that this “active submission,” thought process hasn’t always been the way i’ve thought it was for a submissive. In fact, i would probably say i have thought a submissive is passive, while a Dominant is active. i used to think this because as a sub, i thought we had nothing more to do that to follow orders. The extent of the “active” submission was to accept orders and to accept punishments, whenever the Dominant decided either was appropriate. But even then, in some ways, a submissive has to actively decide to accept the orders and punishments. But now, i know it’s really more than that…..

A few ways a submissive can be active include:

1) A submissive should seek out ways to serve. A submissive should observe her Dominant partner and find ways to serve him without him even having to ask.

i have known for ages that David drinks his coffee black. He only drinks one cup, almost immediately after waking up. And i am (almost always) up and awake before him.

i enjoy my morning quiet time on the couch drinking my coffee, surfing the net, writing to you, etc. i rarely turn on lights or tv, as i like the quiet and to watch the sun rise to light up the room naturally. i nearly always hear David when he wakes up. He’s not loud, but without artificial sounds in the house, just the natural noise that comes from the bedroom is audible.

i recently decided i should be more active in my submission and get his cup of coffee ready for him as he arises. So now, when i hear his stirrings, i hop up and make his coffee. By the time he comes out of the bedroom, i am standing at the ready for him to take his cup, kiss and greet me, and he goes off to drink his cup in peace.

It has come as a bit of a joyful surprise to him that i am doing this as he knows how much i enjoy my morning quiet time, and he has more or less left me to it in the past. i suspect at some point he will simply come to expect this level of active submits be part of our routine and not something to necessarily thank me for.

i do it because i have sought out a way to serve him actively. And he has noticed! First he was surprised, then he was pleasantly happy, and now he’s come to expect it. It when as he expects it, he is gracious and appreciative of it too.

(And in the last 2-weeks since our son has left for college, i do all this in the nude. This is intentional on my part too. i actively want David to see his cup of coffee and my naked body, ready to serve him, first thing in the morning as he rises. What better way to wake up and start the day could there be?!)

2) A submissive should respond with enthusiasm. When her Dominant asks (or expects) her to perform a task, do it happily and cheerfully and not begrudgingly.

While admittedly there are times i just don’t want to do it, i should first ask myself why. And if no legitimate reason exists, then do it. And do it with joy outwardly AND inwardly!

A dominant and a submissive can both be active. Here’s an example of a possible dialogue between David and i:

David: “Marie, I’d like to have a second cup of coffee today. Could you bring me one?””

Me: “Yes Sir.” (And i retrieve it).

Upon delivering the second cup….

David: “thank you.”

Sometimes i just say, “you are welcome Sir.” And sometimes i also say something like, “i enjoy being used and serve you Sir, in all ways. i look forward to the next opportunity to do so.”

This lets David know how happy i am to serve but i have actively responded with enthusiasm to his request by: 1) responding quickly and without delay, 2) filled his request the way that was pleasing, justas he asked, 3) opened the door for him to feel comfortable to give me more orders/ requests, where he now knows i will respond with enthusiasm.

3) A submissive should be observant and anticipate his needs. Whether it be sexual or otherwise, a submissive can provide active service to her Dominant when she’s observant to his needs.

When i notice David is sneezing, and when i am observant, i go get him a tissue, or the allergy medicine, or nose spray. He notices. He is thankful.

When i notice he is stressed out and tense, i ask if i can make things better by giving him a massage. Usually when he says yes to this, i try to get naked first. Sometimes nothing comes of it, but occasionally it does.

When i can make it a sensual massage, i do. Of course, he’s in charge and let’s me know if it’s ok to touch him sexually or not. And when he touches my body parts as i touch him, it (typically) leads right into an amped up sexual energy and release for both of us! (Oh la la!)

4) A submissive should never forget. When David gives me a task that can’t be done immediately, i (try hard) to not forget. Like when he texts and says, “Can you pick up more milk on your way home?” i can’t forget.

When i do forget, it gives the impression that i just don’t care enough about his request or about him as my Dominant to do as i was asked. David perceives this as disrespectful (another reference to Respect!) and he becomes incredibly irritated, if not mad, when i forget.

He says things like, “Now how am I supposed to finish cooking our dinner if you didn’t get the milk I needed? You just didn’t care enough to do as I asked.”

While i wouldn’t say it’s true (that i don’t care), it certainly presents like that!

So i give myself active reminders to ensure i don’t forget, like leaving myself a Post it note in my car, on my steering wheel. As i get in the car and see the note, i grab it up and hold it in my hand while i drive home. i make a point to not let go of it so that it is constantly “touching me” and i can’t (easily) forget.

i used to forget things like this ALL the time! i would apologize, promise to do better, make excuses about why i forgot and move on. And do it again. All it did was irritate and rub David raw. Of course, that was pre-DD (domestic discipline) and before he had alternative ways to handle his annoyance!

Now though, i just try to be an active submissive wife and try to never forget. It’s easier and ultimately better this way!

5) An active submissive should dress in ways that are pleasing to him. Always.

i never used to have the confidence to dress in ways that are pleasing to him, because i frequently saw it as slutty. Now, i frequently still think it is slutty, but i don’t care. If that’s what he wants, that’s what he gets!

i used to worry about what people might think if they saw me “that way.” Now i think, “let them think what they want. My husband is the only one who’s opinion matters, and he likes it when i dress this way.”

David has always asked me to wear short, cut off jean shorts. They were in style when we were first married and are once again in style (no comments about how old i am to see styles come and go and come again!). i NEVER even owned them before, let alone wore them. Now. Now i own two pairs and wear them every chance i get!

Likewise, he loves it when i wear low cut shirts too. i have large boobs and always worried about flashing people and hanging out too far. Now. Now i know if i am “too far” out, David will tell me. And then i will change it. But until then, i let the girls hang out as far as they want to. And i do it all with pride and confidence, because i am actively submitting to David’s will!

i actively seek out ways to dress in a pleasing manner to David. And i do with it with joy in my heart!

And then there is sex. A wife should always be available to her husband. While it can be overt or under cover, or somewhere in between, a wife should be a sexually pleasing being for her husband. i would say this is ultimately true for all wives, but especially ACTIVE submissive wives.

i would say since becoming David’s submissive wife, we have more (and better) sexual encounters than we ever did before. Why? Because i present myself in an inviting way that lets David know i WANT him.

i want HIM sexually, and non-sexually too, as my husband in any way he wants to give himself to me. He may choose not to do anything sexually at all, but when he does, i want him to always know i am open and available and ready. That holds true whenever and wherever he wants too.

He’s never going to do anything that gets either of us arrested, so i am never concerned about him asking for sex or sexual activity anywhere inappropriate. But if he wanted to throw me down in the grocery store aisle…. i’d let him! (But i know he never would!)

He calls me his submissive slut wife because i have slowly converted from being his prude wife to being a submissive wife to now being a submissive slut wife. i am proud to say, he’s right.

Why am i proud to be called a slut? Well, first i would only ever allow David to call me that. And second, he says it because i am that actively engaged in sexual activity with him that, like a slut, i make myself THAT wet and THAT eager and THAT desirous of it.

i flirt with David with my words and my touch, i rub against him, i talk slutty to him, i beg for his cock, and i am naked whenever i can be.

Oh, and a funny thing happens when you turn on those aroused sexual feelings all the time too. You suddenly want more. You can’t seem to get enough. And it fuels the submissive SLUT fore inside, that most every man would be excited about!

i even thank him every time for allowing me to touch, feel, and orgasm from whatever sexual activity he provided me. Sometimes i even thank him for saying no. While he usually laughs and thinks i am being sarcastic at this one, i explain that i AM thankful because he took the time to lead us and our marriage, thought it out, and he decided the answer was “no.”

But i NEVER say no to him. Ever. Not anymore. As i am an active submissive (slut) wife who wants and accepts his sex every-single-time he offers it to me! You could say i worship his cock and i give it the praise it is due!

i will end with….. these are just some of the ways i have become David’s ACTIVE SUBMISSIVE WIFE.

There are many, many, more ways. What would you add to the list? What do you do to be an active submissive or an active dominate?

i’d love to hear what else you’d add to the list! Comment below and let me hear from you.

Hugs,

Marie

259 – 24-hours. Is a long time.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 259 – 24-hours. Is a long time.

In chastity. Alone. As my Sir is away from home, i am locked up. i don’t have self control. Not enough anyway. i have a propensity to play with myself, without permission when left to my own devices. But not this time.

David left this morning and is home tomorrow morning. As i dressed this morning, the belt went on. And he hid the key somewhere in our house. i can ask for it if i truly need it, and i suppose i might could possibly find it if i looked. But. i won’t. i won’t ask or search on my own. Because i can do this. i am strong enough to endure.

i need to do this.

i need to prove i can follow orders.

i need to prove i can be strong.

i can be a good girl.

As David left, he kissed me, said how much he loved me, and then said, “Tryyyy to be a good girl.”

i laughed. i rolled my eyes. i said, “it’s a bit difficult to be bad when i am locked up Sir.” i am saying “Sir” a wholeeee lot now!

He smiled and said, “I’m sure you could find a way of you wanted to. But I’m sure you don’t. Correct?”

“Correct Sir.”

So how how did it go anyway?! Glad you asked….

6:15 a.m.

i went to David and as i was naked, i stood in front of him and spread my legs. And then i said, “it’s nearly time to lock up. Do you want to touch her before you leave?”

He looked at my puss and said, “nope! Sure don’t! Be sure to bring me the keys.”

Well, i wanted to pout. And beg. But i didn’t. Thankfully! Instead, i was a good girl and went to shower, dress, and lock up. Tight. Even though he hasn’t touched her in 2-full days now, i was determined to be good.

7:00 am

While tucked snuggly into place under her belt, i grabbed the lock and snapped it in place. With that, i handed David the key. He smiled and thanked me for being a good girl and asked if i am ready for this. i responded truthfully, “yes…and no…Sir.” Gotta get the “Sir” in there now too!

He then said, “go wait for me in the car.” He was hiding the key from my sight.

And i drove him to the airport. We talked about mundane things. Anything BUT the steel between my legs!

Meanwhile ALL i could think about is the next 24-hours…. How will i make this happen? If i ask for the key early, will that be disappointing for me or him or both?! The belt is already a bit chafing… maybe it’s just not positioned correctly… or maybe I just haven’t settled into the feeling of it yet…. So seriously, how will i make it 24-full hours like this…. how i wanted to rip the belt off and be a normal person. i know i am NOT normal. Is that a bad thing though?!

After dropping him at the airport, i drove to my office. As i drove, all these wild thoughts were in my head about this belt. That’s when my free hand wandered down into my pants. i knew i couldn’t touch myself for real but i had a desire to touch the metal with my bare hand. i wanted to touch it and see just how “real” this 24-hours of restricted access feels like.

And i worked to reposition it to a less chafing position. It didn’t move though, at least not much anyway. It’s not supposed to really. That’s the whole point. Restricted access means it won’t move from the full coverage it provides!

Then i pressed straight onto the plate itself. i wanted to know more about how my pussy would feel inside the plate if it felt pressed from the outside. No, i hadn’t really done that when i have worn it previously.

In times before, i respected (or feared) the belt enough too much to even try to see if i could get a stimulant from the outside. But this time is different. This time feels more like an intimate and close friend. And as close as we are, i need to know your friendliness meter. This time i am wearing this for a full 24-hours and i wanted to know if i could stimulate (okay, fine …call it what it is, “masturbate”) myself at all, and of so, how would it feel.

This was a no-go. While i could feel pressure on the outer edges of the plate, where the edge of the belt meets my thighs, it was nowhere near my pussy opening or clit! They felt absolutely zero. Nothing. Nada. As far as my pussy was concerned, there wasn’t anything but darkness in her world! She saw no light, heard no sound, and felt no pressure.

i couldn’t decide if i was pleased about this or not. But i did accept chastity willingly, heck i asked for it! So i suppose in the sense this is exactly what I need and asked for… i like it. It’s effective! And the belt may be close and intimate, but she has zero desire to be my friend.

8:00 a.m.

i arrive at work after a bit. i wonder if anyone can tell i am different today. i know they can’t see anything through my clothes as the belt is fully covered and inconspicuous. But can they see the difference in my demeanor? No, i am sure they can’t see that either, to which i am really kinda disappointed actually! i feel different, so shouldn’t they see how different i am? No, they don’t notice.

But let’s face it, people are always preoccupied to notice things like a chastity belt on their coworker which is causing her to talk, walk, and act just a bit differently today. Of course, i couldn’t tell you anything about any of them either. Why? Because i was too preoccupied trying to look normal and to see if they notice i am not acting normal. There’s the word “normal” again.

In fact, i am really rather distracted at work. i am comfortable in my chair with the belt on, but will it stay that comfortable when i stand up? Maybe i should practice doing that (standing and sitting) now so if i have to do it later in front of someone else, i will know if it will make noise at the wrong time, or squeeze my labia to painful moments, or something else i haven’t even thought of too.

Never mind… i have to focus and get work done already!

10:00 a.m.

i am quite thankful i have very few scheduled meetings today. i can hide out in my office and be less conspicuous. At least i hope that’s what happens.

But i have to pee. Oh here we go!

10:30 a.m.

Oh geez. i really have to use the bathroom now. i have held it in for 30-minutes but that’s the best i can do. i have to do this. In the belt. Okay, here we go.

There are holes in the belt shield for this purpose, but it feels so humiliating. It feels like i am peeing in my clothes, like a little kid or something. All of which is weird, so i have to truly concentrate on relaxing my muscles and just let it flow.

And when it does, while it ends up where it should in the toilet, it’s not a single stream but a spread out all over stream. Causing a bit of a question if there’s still urine trapped between my labia folds and the belt.

So now i have to wipe. As good as possibly can be done anyway. And i wipe some more. And for good measure, I wipe more. i hold the belt out as far as possible with one hand, suck in my gut, and try to press paper in there to soak up the urine. i think urine is gross anyway, so i want to be as clean and dry as possible, which takes a lot of effort!

Okay, that accomplished, won’t lie.. that was worse in my head than in reality. So, back to work now.

11:30 a.m.

Time for lunch. Together with 4-coworkers, we go out to a Mexican restaurant together. While I could care less about the strangers, i worry if may coworkers can hear the metal plate clanging around as i walk. i wonder if getting in and out of their car together will be the obvious defining moment to give away the fact that i am different today. i watch their moves to see if they hear it, tune in to it, or wonder why it’s coming from my torso! Nothing.

This is all good, right?

12:30 p.m.

Back at the office and back at my desk. And seriously, time to be normal and just get some work done already!

But i feel like i want to tell someone about my belt. i want someone to see. i want to see the shock on their face and me giggle at it. But that’s not normal. i wouldn’t show my coworkers my underwear, so why would i show them this steel belt?!

Because now David’s plane has landed, i decide to tell David about this “desire” to show off. The response i got back was, “hmm.” Not what i was expecting really. i thought he would chastise me (get that pun there!? Lol) for wanting to show off my chastity belt! No matter, the “hmm” was likely all i really needed, and he didn’t have to rub it in. i knew that was ultimately what he thought!

1:30 p.m.

Now i am finally into a groove for work productivity. i have accomplished some things and need to keep going.

The belt isn’t chafing at all now. i wonder if my earlier thoughts of the chafing were just my body needing to settle into the feelings of being pressed upon by the metal.

If the rest of the afternoon continues like this, i will definitely get all the way to tomorrow morning without having to ask for the key! i won’t disappoint Sir or myself! Now i am hopeful. And determined too.

2:30 p.m.

Oh here we go back to the bathroom again. Alright, i can do this. i already did it once today, not to mention it had done it in the belt before too.

No idea why i am such a head case about this. This time, i even go to another floor in my building. i noticed the lock made some noise as i pulled my pants down last time. If a coworker is in the bathroom at the same time, they would notice it and it’s a 2-person stall bathroom. They would know it was coming from me.

Suddenly it occurs to me that I have gone from wanting them to notice, to wanting to show it off, to now not wanting anyone to know at all.

Them NOT knowing is really the right answer.

On the other floor and in the bathroom, this time it went even easier than last time. Practice makes perfect. Do i want to be perfect at this? To be perfect means i am doing this a lot, meaning i am wearing the belt a lot. Yes, i want this! This is good for me!

3:30 p.m.

Never even saw the clock in this hour. That’s a good thing.

This belt has become my new-normal. And that’s a good thing too!

4:30 p.m.

Another easy and productive hour! Yah. i got this.

i am confident now i can make it to tomorrow. i see nothing standing in my way. i AM A CHASTITY GIRL!

But i am not even officially to 12-hours yet and a lot of time still in front of me!

5:30 p.m.

Time to go to a fast dinner with my sister. i know she won’t notice or see my belt in any way. i have gotten used to standing, walking, sitting in it now. And i am accepting of it as i have figured out how to manage with it physically and mentally too, so there’s no chance of me acting weird either.

It was a pleasant meal. We talked about mundane things, which is how it should be.

6:30 p.m.

It is Wednesday. Every good (Southern Baptist) girl goes to church on Wednesday night for an hour of bible study and to commune with like-minded people.

i am in a bible study that just kicked off last week. But not only am i in it, i lead it. i am standing in the front of the “class” for ladies bible study, while walking around, with them sitting down.

Their eyes are level with my crotch. i wonder if anyone has laser beam vision to see straight through my pants to the metal i am wearing. But that would be a super hero move, and while still pretty awesome, no one in this room is a super hero, at least that i know of anyway.

Maybe i am a super hero, with my own plate shield to protect me from all kinds of evil, real or perceived. My most intimate part is under full protection. From what? From myself. And everyone else too!

7:30 p.m.

i drive home. After getting home, i text David to let him know i am home and thinking of him. And i get naked.

i exchange some banter with Sir by saying, “maybe i need to have the key now to unlock this belt and be fully naked now.”

He responds with, “not a chance! You can ask, but you won’t get it. You are as naked now as you are going to get.”

“But then what if i need the key?! How would you know how desperately i need it?”

“You won’t.”

“But how will you know that Sir?” (forgot the “Sir” with previous texts. Not sure if he noticed! Hope not for my sake.)

“Because you made it this far without asking. Besides you are just stubborn enough that you won’t ask.”

“You are probably correct Sir.”

“Probably???”

“Ok, i know you are correct, but i don’t want to admit i am that stubborn.”

“Hmm”. (That little word is really multipurpose.)

8:30 p.m.

As i was doing little things around the house like picking up/cleaning, watching tv, playing ball with the dog, i opened a drawer to put something away.

There lays the key.

To my belt.

Right there.

Do i tell David i found it? He will think i went looking for it. But i can explain. But i didn’t do anything wrong to need to report ether. Does it matter that i found it if i don’t touch it, and definitely not use it?

Just shut the drawer and pretend i never saw it.

But i can’t unsee it.

Besides, i am getting tired of this belt now too. It’s not so friendly at all anymore, not that it was any too friend,y from the start anyway! But now the excitement of it has definitely worn off. i could escape and sleep well and no one would have to know.

But i would know.

Just shut the drawer and walk away!

9:00 p.m.

Time to use the bathroom again. Damn bladder.

i can just go get the key, unlock myself, use the toilet, and relock back. That would make the bathroom experience so much easier and better. And i could ensure a good wipe. That would help me sleep better, knowing i am clean under this belt.

But it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Forget about the key already!

Damn key.

i am a good girl. i am a good girl. Keep telling myself that.

And i am. And i did. And i left the key in its place and used the bathroom in the belt.

Damn belt.

10:00 p.m.

“Go lay down and read. Or write in the blog. Or play a stupid game on your iPad. Hell, go to sleep. But forget about that damn key!”

“You are nearly to the morning. All you have to do now is sleep. And be a good girl.” is what i told myself.

And that’s what i did.

i put a pillow between my legs as i always do, to help give me a straight back as i lay on my side (per chiropractor, this is helpful and i am now used to it.)

It feels good between my legs. i want to masturbate. Maybe if i hump the pillow a little it will help.

Damn pillow.

Humping it does nothing good. In fact, it probably made it worse as the frustration is no seriously amped up to a higher notch!

Now i just need to orgasm that much more, without any ability to do anything about it. No orgasm for me.

Damn key.

i am a good girl, i am a good girl, I AM A GOOD GIRL!!!

Turn over and go to sleep already! And i did.

Seriously… i AM a good girl, despite the damn key!

5:30 a.m.

i slept really good. i don’t remember waking up one time, turning over, dreaming, nothing. i feel quite relaxed now.

And only about 2’ish more hours and my Sir will be home and the belt will come off.

i even use the restroom without even thinking twice. AND without being unlocked. Who cares about the damn key, because I AM A GOOD GIRL!

6:30 a.m.

He has landed. He’s taking an Uber home.

Woo hoo! Can’t wait to see him. Oh how i miss him when he’s gone. While i have been hyper focused on the belt, i have an even more interest in seeing him, my Sir!

7:30 a.m.

He’s home! i greet him with the biggest smile and kiss. Naked. Except of course, for the belt.

He says, “Wow. I love this greeting! This is wonderful. Is this for spending 24-hours all locked up??”

“i am just happy to see you Sir.”

“I can tell. But I have been gone for 24-hours before and never gotten this wonderful of a welcome home. I think it’s the belt that’s done this.”

“i won’t lie Sir, it has made me focus the last 24-(plus) hours. It is incredibly effective.”

“I should say so. Make no mistake, we will be using it more now that I witness it’s effects on your demeanor.” (Someone noticed the change in me. Just not my co-workers. And that’s ok, as the only person i truly care to notice is my Sir!)

“Good thing the fitted belt is coming soon Sir. It will probably be more effective than this one.”

“Perfect. I’m so proud of you for being obedient and wearing this belt for the duration. I wasn’t sure you would or could. But now it’s time to get you out of this and give you the reward you’ve earned!”

Yippie for me!

i am now off here… and out of the belt …and getting to orgasm in a big way! i wonder how soon it is until Sir has another out-of-town trip!?

Hugs,

Marie

251 – Permission granted. But only to drink.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 251 – Permission granted. But only to drink.

i have to ask permission to drink.

Why? Because i get incredibly horny when i drink.

i lose all inhibitions and go after what i want. i become determined to get it too. It’s the only time i truly become aggressive. Not really in a bad way, but rather a determined way. i know what i want, i know how to get it, and i go get it!

And that doesn’t always sit so well with David. Sometimes it does please him, as he gets his cock ridden like the slut i am! But sometimes… he’s just not feeling it! So… i have to ask to drink..because why start something he may not want to finish (or deal with me being pushy about it).

Tonight, i asked to drink some red wine. It’s our favorite. David has collected bottles for a few years now, and we have a LOT of wine in our house.

After getting permission, i opened a bottle. i drank almost half of it, which was MORE than enough! i needed his cock inside me!

i sat on one couch, with my Sir on the next. He was almost laying on the couch. i saw myself stripping my clothes off. Seductively but quickly.

i walked over to him, pulled his cock out of his shorts, and sucked him hard. He continued to watch tv and allowed me to sexually turn him on. That’s when i turned myself perpendicular to him, stood on the floor and leaned backwards, like sitting in a chair. i lowered myself down to sit down on his cock. His focus on the tv never waivers. The entire time, while i impaled myself on his cock, he just kept watching tv. He felt SO damn good inside my wet cunt!

And that’s when i felt his hand move up and grab and squeeze my boob tight and hard. It was enough to encourage me to keep going!

i used my thigh muscles to pull myself up and then just drop straight down again right onto his cock. It went deep inside me. As deep as he could possibly be, so that i felt every centimeter filling me up whole! i started to move up slowly, and the down was fast and hard! i wanted to feel his cock deep . i wanted to have him fill me up. And i wanted it to hurt! There was no way it could hurt enough to offset the exquisites pleasure i was simultaneously feeling!

The only thing i now needed….. and what i really wanted was to cum …. all over that cock of my Sir. i wanted it slick with my juice. Although i really didn’t care if he orgasmed, as this was about me getting myself off with his cock instead of a stupid dildo. He was going to feel it too obviously, which made it even better yet, but this was about me. And i knew it too!

i was really just fucking myself using his cock to get there. i went faster up and harder down, with every thrust of my hips. i went as fast as i could! It made my boobs flip up and down in the process. They were flipping so much, it hurt my tits too. i didn’t care! A little bit more pain is good for me! i need to feel the pain to get the pleasure to be just that much bigger too.

i didn’t dare look at him as his eyes alone may tell me he isn’t happy i just took it upon myself to fuck him. Or am i fucking myself? i don’t even know anymore. But does it even matter? As long as he is enjoying it enough that he doesn’t stop me. i have to go faster. It may end soon, but I have to get to that O!

i am grinding hard on him now. Nothing can stop me. i am so fucking close to a huge orgasm. i know what i want and i know how to get it! A few… more… thrusts and i am there! i am exactly where i want to be….. a slut fucking her Sir’s cock and enjoying it to the fullest.

Screech…… stop.

And that’s when i have to tell you …. This is ALL a figment of my imagination, all except for the wine that it. i was drinking and i was horny as hell, and i wanted his cock in my pussy.

But i KNOW better than to assume i can go over and take what i want. That’s quite literally NEVER going to happen! If i tried to fuck my Sir like that, even “if” he would like it and even”if” i got his cock hard and even “if” i did all the work, he wouldn’t allow it to happen! If for no other reason, he would have to prove that he is in charge and he’d have to put me back in my place so he would slap my ass and make me stop right then and there. i doubt I would even get his cock hard, let alone impaling my needy cunt!

i am submissive and he is Dominant. i don’t get to take what i want. Ever. Especially when it has to do with his cock and my orgasm! That’s fucking absurd!

Fuck. i want to be fucked! i want to do all the work and he just has to sit back and allow it to happen! But… i know he won’t allow it, so i won’t feel it. And i won’t attempt it. i have zero desire to be punished, only rewarded!

After i wrote all this, David & i started to head to bed. As we were standing in the bathroom, fully clothed and i started to brush my teeth he said, “the answer is no!”

i found it amusing as i hadn’t said a word but with that, i said, “i didn’t know you knew there was a question Sir.”

He said, “of course I knew.” Neither of us actually verbalized the question but both of us knew…. The question was, “can i cum please Sir?” i mean, i wassss drinking after all!

After brushing my teeth, i decided to sleep naked. Sometimes i do that, but most of the time i don’t. He laughed and said, “you think you can do that with control? I did just say NO.”

And with that, i decided to tell him about what i thought about and wrote to you above. i didn’t tell him my assumption of how it would have really gone… with him stopping me and possibly whipping my ass even. i just told him about the sexy parts! And about me jumping on top of him. And he scoffed and said, “yeah, right. I wouldn’t have allowed that.” i guess i was right! Do i know my Sir or what?

i halfway wondered what it would take for him to order me in the belt. He didn’t order it though. Not sure if that’s good or bad. Like i said before, it’s a life vest… but it’s also a security blanket.

With that, he turned off the light and said goodnight. He left me hanging. Wet and horny and nowhere to go! Maybe tomorrow.

Hugs,

Marie

241 – i did it!

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i ordered a Fancy Steel Chastity belt!

It will take probably a full month to get to me, as it is custom made to fit and coming from Australia (to me …. in US – in TX).

As you know, we have been experimenting with a cheap Chinese belt for almost a year now. First one i had was for fun or for punishment, and rarely for extended times. Then i recently got a (new) cheap one that we used more often. i slept in it every night for nearly 2-weeks.

Wearing it at night served it’s purpose of stopping me from masturbating whenever i wanted (at night), as i tend to fall asleep later than David and masturbated right beside him in bed without permission. He didn’t mention wearing it to work, which was probably good overall. In total though, my ultimate goal was working up to more and more time in the belt with less time out, so wearing it to work would’ve been the next step.

But of course, that was when my vacation to the UK happened and of course i wasn’t going to wear it there.

i missed it when it was off really…. for daytime hours and vacation. i didn’t masturbate once during the times it was off though, as i knew it was a privilege to be out! And when i was in UK, i was just too exhausted really. But as soon as i got home, i was a little slut wife and have already masturbated once without permission. (Yikes!)

David has never been in favor of the belt really. He thinks it is an “unnecessary contraption” and that i “should have more self control and self discipline than that” to make it where wearing it shouldn’t be needed. While in essence i agree with him, i also know my own limitations and unfortunately i think it is very necessary. (See above … already did what i shouldn’t!).

In my opinion, whenever there is a tool that makes a job easier, it makes sense to get and use that tool. Why try to put a nail in a board without a hammer? Why try to dig a hole without a post hole digger or a bobcat? Why try to go to UK without a boat or a plane?

So why try to abstain from masturbation without wearing a chastity belt? It is the best tool to get the job done! (Wouldn’t you agree??)

So i have (more or less) begged him to let me buy the long-term, better fitted, more expensive one for a permanent solution to what i perceive as a (huge) problem…. My inability to stop touching myself at will. And to have the best tool for the job!

i am equally excited and fearful about this new belt.

Obviously i am very excited or else i wouldn’t have obsessed over wanting it for this long, pushed David to allow me to get it, AND officially ordered it now.

But i wonder just how long it will be before the shiny new toy is not so shiny anymore. And how long until i beg David to not lock me up, but to “give me a break” from it too.

David didn’t say this … but …. Knowing him as long as i have, i fully anticipate him saying something like, “you wanted it. You spent a lot of money to get it. Now you’ll be obedient and wear it! Besides, you convinced me and you already knew that you need it and it is effective too!”

So the excitement is that i will get the help i need to be a better submissive to my Sir, and to be fully compliant with the biggest rule i have: NO masturbating or orgasming without permission!

But the fear is that i will indeed regret the decision to have a (very powerful) “tool”, and to not just push through and to instead be submissive all on my own power. i wonder how long i will welcome the belt, versus (maybe) start to resent it. i wonder if i truly resent it, if David will relent. Or will it just be a permanent part of our dynamic now…. And will i accept it with complete submissive grace!?!

Or will my ass just be in severe regret?

i will know better the answers to those questions in a little more than a month because this is all set in motion now!!

Stay tuned!

Hugs,

Marie

232 – W-H-Y Top from the Bottom??

Written by Marie on . Posted in my submissiveness, Submission. No Comments on 232 – W-H-Y Top from the Bottom??

i mentioned in the last post about Topping-from-the-Bottom. i want to talk more about that now…

First, what is it?

Next, why would anyone do it?

Last, why did i do it?

So let’s start with “what is it?”

Pure and simple, it is a submissive (a bottom) telling a a dominant (a top) how to do their job. Think of it like “a backseat driver”, where the sub isn’t driving but tells the Dom, who is driving, how to do it.

And why would anyone do it?

Well, i never set out to do it. i seriously doubt any submissive does. It just did. It just happened. To a large degree, it happened subconsciously actually. And even when i did realize it, i justified it.

i said stuff like, “how else would he know how i feel if i don’t tell him?” And “he doesn’t know my limits or what i like or don’t, if i don’t speak up.”

While those things are absolutely true, the problem comes when i stop telling him how i feel or about what i like (or don’t like), and begin telling him what he should do or not do with that information.

While not trying to justify it at all, i’d tell you that the latter part (telling him what to do or not), just came as a side effect of the first part. First i would say “i would like xyz.” Then it expanded into, “you know, you could do that right now.” And further moved into, “if you want to see how i will respond, let’s do it now and we can test how far it can go.” And ultimately ended with, “that was nice… let’s do it again tomorrow.” So in effect, i ended up telling him how to do his job, instead of letting him decide what to do (if anything) with that information.

So while it was a suggestion of what he should do, it ended up being more of a command or an order too!

Exactly why did i do it?

Well, as i said before, it was unintentional. i thought since this whole D/s relationship with DD was my idea, that i should tell him about some of the things he could or should do, how to keep me in line, and how to be Dominant. What i didn’t really stop to think about was that maybe he has ideas of his own, and my ideas are … well… irrelevant.

B-U-T …. Now…… things have to change….

This morning, i played out an entire scenario in my head. In the past, i would have acted on it and told David. Today though, i am opting to tell you instead of him. Because while i want to break myself of the nasty habit of being a topper, i need to tell someone what i’d love to tell him! Tag, you are IT!

So yesterday i told you that i told him about how i will always be his submissive wife, regardless if he is my Dominant husband or just my Vanilla husband. His response was a bit of surprise, and then it seemed he forgot about it. i somehow doubt he did actually forget, but he didn’t outwardly tell me he was still thinking about it either.

So as i was dressing this morning, i “imagined” a scenario that i really wanted to happen.

i really wanted him to hold me accountable. i wanted to tell him to hold me accountable. But i did not. i know i can’t. i know if or when the time is right, he will act on his own free will.

But if i could telepathically send subliminal messages to him… i just may try!

It all started as i was drying my hair. In the nude. Like i do daily already. i get my hair all done and set. Then i dress.

i went to the closet and picked a dress. i did not put on a bra, as i (mostly) never do. But i did put on a thong pair of panties, which i know he does not care for.

That’s when i started to dream up what could happen next…..

i imagined him coming into the bathroom and pulling my dress up, to feel what belongs to him, and finding it covered with panties. And him saying, “So being my submissive wife doesn’t include panties. Right?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Then why am I finding these here?”

“i didn’t think you’d notice…. [or care enough to go looking…. And if you did look, you wouldn’t call me out on it.]”

“While you may think I don’t care, you would be wrong. Go lie on the bed and get into position. It’s been a very long time and way overdue, but you do indeed need to be reminded about what a good submissive for me looks like,” he said [in my thoughts].

He continued, “Don’t take anything off, including the shoes. Just get into position and I’ll do the rest.”

i heard the drawer opening. i knew the paddle was being pulled out. It hasn’t left it’s space in so many months, i was equal parts fearful of the pain i was about to feel and excited about being reacquainted with it.

He pulled my dress up over my ass and flopped it onto my back, partially covering my head. He laid the paddle on my ass, even with the thong still on and lying between me and the paddle.

In continuous and smooth succession motions, he proceeded to deliver 10-tight, hard, and intentional swats to my ass. While my ass was so quickly feeling the sting, i think it was the shock to my mind that was more intense than the physical spanking was. When he was done, he laid the paddle back on my ass and told me not to move. i was grateful to be able to lay there another minute and just breathe. Just take it all in.

He went to the bathroom, i heard drawers opening and closing, and he returned. He said, “up on all 4’s now. Spread your legs and let me see your ass.”

i did as i was told. That’s when i felt his finger loop underneath my thong panties and pull them to the side, and the tip of the anal plug press at that opening.

He asked me, “are you really ready to renter the world of submission?”

i told him, “i have never left Sir.”

And in one swift motion, he pressed the plug all the way in deep. And i heard him speak a single word, “Good!” as he did pressed it in place.

i haven’t worn a plug in as many months either, so it was a tight fit. He let go of my panties, threw my dress back down into place, and sat me upright. His hand came to my chin and said, “that’s my good girl. Remember who you belong to. And this time, don’t tell me how to do my job. Off you go to work now!”

When i smiled at him, he smiled back and leaned in and kissed me.

All was right in my world…..

Screechhhhhhh………

Until i realized or came to terms with the fact that all that was in my head and none of that was reality.

Instead, i finished getting dressed and packed up to leave for work. As i was heading out the door, i greeted him and said i was off to work, and he said, “have a great day. I love you!”

i know he does. And because i also love him, i told him so, but i didn’t tell him anything about my fantasy imagination of what may-have-been this morning. (In the past i would have!).

So at this moment, he has no idea of what is (or not) on my body under this dress. He has no idea that i am braless, as he desires. But that i do have a thong on, as the way he does NOT desire. While i did not wear a plug to work, he doesn’t know i even thought about it. He doesn’t know what went on in my head today. And i won’t tell him either, unless of course, he asks…… Which, unless my telepathic connection improves dramatically, is not too likely either.

One day at a time. Letting him be him and me be me is where i need to rest and allow it to unfold as it should…. Not as i want it to be.

And maybe one day, i won’t be a top-from-the -bottom submissive but just a submissive. And he will be a top-as-he-wants-to Dom – vanilla or otherwise! Until then, my fantasies will continue in my head and on this blog….

(No, i am not upset about any of this being my current reality…. Life is too short to feel sad/guilt/sorrow. i enjoy it as it comes, and you should too! And while i can’t deny that i would much prefer to be on the same page with David – in a D/s relationship – forcing it only goes so far and only works for so long. Time will tell where this goes, but what i do know is we have been together for 25+ years at this point and that will continue!)

Hugs,

Marie