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43 – Spanking gone wrong. :(

Written by Marie on . Posted in Punishment, Spanking, Submission. No Comments on 43 – Spanking gone wrong. :(

So i haven’t been here since September 2019 and it is now JANUARY 2020! Mainly because Sir and i got into a HUGE fight … my fault…. and we stopped doing D/s and DD altogether…….

Life was good. Mostly. But not entirely.

In my humble opinion, Sir was being lazy. He kept threatening to discipline, for true or believed transgressions, and then never did. He’d say, “Tonight after our (15-year old) son is not within ear shot, you will be spanked.” And then, “Oh, I’m too tired. Maybe tomorrow.” And tomorrow he’d forget, not care, say something like, “I’m sure you’ll do better today and let’s forget about it.” Of course, his laziness led to my rebelliousness. i’m blaming him now for being the start of it, but like everything in life, there’s no real start or finish so maybe it was me that started it so maybe i’m to blame?!?!

So i was irritated and felt rebellious…. i decided what i did (or didn’t do) didn’t matter. As there are no ‘real’ consequences.

And i got out my vibrator and decided to make myself happy. And i did. i left it out in plain sight, on purpose, daring him to say something. And he did. i was actually happy he did, because he wasn’t ignoring me or the behavior.

He asked me, “Why is this out?”

i said, “Because i used it.”

He said, “Did you cum? Without permission?”

And i said, “Yes”

And he said, “Why? You know all you had to do was ask and I’d have said yes.”

i said, “Because i knew you’d say yes, so i decided it didn’t matter if i asked or not, so i just did it.”

That’s when he said, “you’ll have to be spanked tonight.” (here we go again….)

i rolled my eyes and said, “Ok”. and went about my business.

i was mad for multiply reasons:

1) i think my point is valid – if he’s ALWAYS going to say yes, WHY ask?! What’s the point? and

2) And furthermore, what are the odds of him ACTUALLY following through on a spanking …. none!

So …. i was irritated.

To my complete shock, about 3 hours later, while watching football (His FAVORITE!!!!), he said, “it’s time to get a spanking,” and he laughed and smiled. i honestly thought he was joking because it was football season, a weekend, and he was watching the game.

So i didn’t move but just said, “oh, okay.” (knowing this basically was daring him to do something, but honestly believing he wouldn’t!)

That’s when he got mad and said, “NOW!” and he stood up, grabbed me up off the couch, and basically pulled me into the bedroom when he then (in an angry voice) said, “I shouldn’t have to miss MY game to discipline you! Nor should I have to tell you twice to move! And I shouldn’t have to force you in here! Don’t make me do this again!”

i knew he was serious so i dropped my pants and laid across the bed. But i was SO mad. i was thinking, “WHY NOW? Over an orgasm?! Seriously?! What about the time i did (fill in the blank) and that didn’t matter?!?” But all this was just in my head. i didn’t say this out loud of course.

With no preamble, he grabbed the wooden paddle and swung. HARD. It HURT. and then again. There was NO warm up… it was a “get the job done so I can get back to my game” type of event. And with every swing, i got madder yet!

On the third swing i was VERY mad. i felt he was being unreasonable. And i decided this whole lifestyle was stupid. i was getting spanked for cumming. (SERIOUSLY!?!?)

So i stood up, looked at him and said, “I’M DONE!” and walked to the closet to put on clothes.

He followed me in there and said, “NO you are NOT done! Get out here and into position!”

And i basically yelled, “NO!” and walked out.

He threw the paddle down and said, “FINE! NO MORE ANYTHING! GET RID OF ALL THE SEX TOYS AND EVERY DISCIPLINE INSTRUMENTS TODAY! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE! BECAUSE SHORT OF ABUSE, I CAN’T MAKE YOU DO THIS!”

And i yelled, “FINE!”

and with that…. we haven’t spoken about any of it since……Until….. 2 days ago, when i texted him a simple message that said, “i miss spanking.” and he responded with, “Me too.”

i’ll tell you more about what’s happened in between then and now … in the next post.

Hugs,

Marie

42 – Corset on. Bra Off. Check

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Thanks to @Implacable, i was asked if corset/ waist training was still a thing for me, especially given the braless recent rules in place too. So since i haven’t spoke about corset training lately, it made me realize i should.

We have gotten to a place with both corset and bras, that it is working. i’ve accepted both in my mind and body. And this level of submission with these two things has taken a very long time.

When i first started wearing corsets, it has always been understood it would be the under-the-breast kind. (Not sure what that is called). But NOT covering the breasts. So i wore a bra with it too. The point of it hasn’t necessarily been to create a sexy look, but to train the waist to be smaller, to cause the breasts to lift up (stick out) and the same with the ass. If you push the stuff to another place, it will eventually stay there. With training. Consistent and regular training. But it is good to take a break from it because otherwise, those muscles atrophy and you lose the purpose of it. Just like runners train a day (or two) and rest a day (or two), same concept here.

So i wear the corset on Mon-Tues-Wed. And the rest of the week off.

Likewise, i’ve finally convinced Sir to let me wear bras to work (mon-fri 8-5). But since he didn’t really want to compromise at all, we have compromised and said, “if the outfit of the day doesn’t matter, then no bra.” In other words, if i’m wearing something that it would be obvious (colors, shape/ fit), then bra is okay. Otherwise, no bra is expected.

Well, when you wear a corset, you can’t exactly wear a lot that is truly form fitting. Because the laces and fit of the corset will show through. So – Sir said “no bra”. Well, this was the first i’d done that but i reluctantly complied.

i actually found i liked the corset MORE without a bra than with!

That’s because it comes right up under my boobs and stops, right at the place where a bra starts. So the two fabrics coming together right at the same spot sometimes pinched. Or overlapped and stuck out. But when i only had one, it felt better.

Not to mention, my boobs just stuck right out there tall and proud.

But still, you can’t quite tell that THAT’s what’s happening because the outfit isn’t that tight fitting.

i will say i get a LOT of compliments – from women mostly – on days i wear the corset. They can’t figure out ‘why’ i look different, but they know ‘something’ is. They say stuff like, “Have you lost weight? You look great!” And i just say “Not really, but thank you.”. That’s NOT a lie….

i think my waist looks better when i have the corset on and even into Thurs-Fri it holds it’s forced form, but by Sunday it seems to have relaxed.

So more-than-not, i don’t wear a bra and 3 of those days i have a corset on.

i’m learning to like it. It has become a routine that i can rely on. i like being restrained by the corset and left free from the bra. My life is good and it makes Sir happy, which makes me happy!

Hugs,

Marie

41 – DD is like finding the right pair of jeans

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Domestic Discipline is as easy as finding the right pair of jeans that fit.  (that was humor).

It used to be that jeans were basic – Wrangler or Levi, they were blue, and fit was a just a matter of length and waist .  But NOW… they come in every style, shape, color, and fit.

That’s Domestic Discipline.  DD.

If you are considering it, or new to it, i’m here to tell you that every DD relationship is different.  And it takes time to get the right fit.  Our relationship is no different. It also takes constant revisions. It is fluid. Changing.

i expected to have a set of rules —  follow them = good, don’t follow = spanking. And while that’s the basic premise, it isn’t really the way it works in real life. Just like jeans aren’t “just blue”, life isn’t just “black and white”…. DD isn’t “Just good and bad and spankings resulting from the bad” either.

When it comes to jeans, you know when you have a good pair and you stick with it until they are completely worn out. And then you hope you find another pair exactly like it, but alas, they are not for sale anymore. So you have to try to find something similar but hopefully better. And the hunt is on.

i think marriage is a lot like that from the start. You hunt and search for the right person, and then you hunt and search for the right way to make it work.

But just like jeans, it ‘wears out’ or ‘wears off’. What i didn’t realize was that living DD 24/7 is hard. It’s easy to start. And maybe even on a date night or a weekend it is easy too. But when it comes to a full-marriage implementation, it gets hard. It takes complete dedication and discipline -from BOTH of you – to not ‘just relax’ and ‘take a break’ from it.

For example, i’ve been gone from here the last 2 weeks due to having SUPER hard days at work. i won’t go into the details, but i wanted to crawl in bed and NOT go back. At all. Ever. But that’s not realistic (or financially practical). There was a lot of change going on at work, nothing i was in control of, and every day was different in a way i wasn’t prepared for. That left me completely drained when i’d get home.

And cranky.

And Sir didn’t like that. Rightfully so.

But instead of spanking me to get me back on track, he chose to give me space. To let me work it out. i think he did this because he knew the problem wasn’t anything to do with him/ us/ our family, he knew i was trying to be good at home (but was failing). But frankly, being allowed to do what i wanted …… wasn’t what i wanted….. or what i needed. i’m just saying.

But telling him “Spank me” was making me cranky too. i wasn’t sure i having my ass blistered was going to help. So i let it go. But then last weekend, i said, “Something has to give. i have to be reassured you don’t just let me do my own thing anytime i want”. So he spanked me. And it H-U-R-T. My ass hasn’t felt a really bad one for awhile and it bruised. The bruising caused a ‘stinging’ feeling when i sat for the entire rest of the day.

He said we would resume maintenance spankings, which had also faded away (like the blue in your jeans). When i asked what the schedule would be, he said no. He wouldn’t tell me. When i asked why i couldn’t know, he said, “Just like the grass has a maintenance schedule, it doesn’t have to be on the exact same day every week. You just need to know this will happen ‘as needed’ the same the grass gets cut ‘as needed’.”

And just like that …..my jeans are fitting better….. thanks to DD ……

40 – Golf… Topless

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Okay, not R-E-A-L-L-Y topless… but it definitely WAS braless. While Sir didn’t say i HAD to be braless…. i decided to try it. Of my own accord.

David and i play golf together. He taught me how to play when we were dating, almost 20 years ago now. And while i love it, i don’t have much time for it. In fact, for the last several years, i have a multitude of reasons (excuses) not to play. But today, Sir said, “You WILL go play with me and some of my friends.”

He told his friends that he “told” me i was playing.. and frankly, he did. And they laughed and said, “yeah, and she probably likes getting spanked too!”.

How ironic … and little do they know!!! Ha! Maybe Sir told them. i dunno. It’s quite alright if he did. They probably think it’s just a kink. And of course, it is that… but it’s MORE than that. It’s our lifestyle! i somehow think every man dreams of a submissive wife that they can spank, make suck their cock, and get to walk around naked whenever they want….. okay, maybe that’s another post. Back to this one now…..

So the rule in fact for me is officially “no bra unless mon-fri, 8-5” (Work). But a week ago, i wasn’t good and didn’t adhere to that rule and got my bras taken away from me. i couldv’e gotten them back as of yesterday, but i didn’t ask and Sir didn’t offer. So i let it go.

And today, i wanted to ‘see’ what it would look and feel like. So i went braless. (my previous post tells you that if i were in charge, i would have MADE me go braless… check it out!)

Now maybe my boobs are just extra firm or extra in shape or not sensitive – but – it didn’t really seem that much different! Truthfully, i was a bit disappointed! If i’d had on pasties – you’d NEVER have known! (Of course, Sir’s friends probably loved seeing the nipples show through and having NO pasties in place- and i kinda think David did too, which made me love it too!!).

And you may be thinking, “Oh her boobs must be small.” NOPE. 38D is my size. So i’m NOT small. Not ginormous, but definitely NOT small.

So as of yesterday i’ve been without a bra for 7-consecutive days and today makes Day 8.

i’m beginning to think this is going to be my ‘new normal’. And i think that makes Sir happy. i haven’t asked for them back. Not even sure i want them back. Going out of the house braless isn’t even something i really think about now. i ….. “just do it”. (am i supposed to get Nike’s approval to say that? Well… you aren’t paying me, so i’m rolling with it! LOL).

Maybe i DO like braless-ness in the end. i did, then i didn’t, and now i do again. i think the bra is a security blanket of sorts for me. It allowed my breasts (specifically NIPPLES) to hide!

i’m officially braless 24/7 now and frankly, it feels liberating, freeing, and good! i may just adopt this permanently. Maybe there IS something to the “braless movement” afterall. And i wouldn’t have EVER given it a second thought if Sir hadn’t made me.

See – submission really IS a good thing!

(and on another note…. Sir and his friends are rather sassy on the golf course to one another. And since i was with them… i was too . i mean really, ‘when in Rome….’. But Sir noticed and wasn’t entirely impressed. Kept telling me to “Stop with the sass!” So now i’m waiting to see how serious – or remembering/ forgetful – he was! We shall see!).

Hugs ~

Marie

39 – Domestic Discipline- in life

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Marriage, Submission. No Comments on 39 – Domestic Discipline- in life

For all you sex and spanking fans, this will be boring.

For all you Domestic Discipline fans, this might be insightful.

i know i mostly talk all about how our lifestyle revolves around “sex” and sex- related stuff. But it really isn’t just about that. It’s how our lifestyle is.

But i have come to realize that if i were in charge, things would be much stricter than they are. i’m not sure if Sir is just being a “good southern gentleman” or if he’s “shy” to take control or if he just doesn’t want to take control or maybe he just doesn’t think like me.

i asked him about this today and he said, “I don’t think you know what you are asking for.” But i think i do! i’m asking him to lead our marriage, to be the lead of our house, and ultimately me. In exchange, i respect, obey, and submit. In ALL things… sex and otherwise. Seems simple enough to me.

So here’s two examples of what happened just today …. i will tell you what happened AND what would have happened, had our roles been reversed.

Real life Example 1 – what did happen:

We like to play golf. Tomorrow we are going to play together. As of today, i have been braless for exactly one whole week. (Because i got my bras taken away last week when i didn’t have it off at 5:22 pm after work). And i TOLD David “i can’t play golf without a bra. It will hurt too much”

His response was, “hmm”.

Real life example 1 – what would’ve happened if our roles were reversed:

His response would’ve gone like this…. “excuse me? You have a rule that states ‘no bra when not mon-fri, 8-5, and tomorrow is a Saturday! So you have another thing coming if you think you can TELL me you are wearing one tomorrow! So you screwed up twice now… one by wanting to break a rule and two by telling me. Had you asked, I’d probably have understood your request and conceded. But now, you will absolutely NOT be wearing a bra! And maybe next time, you’ll think of how to word that to me in a way that is a respectful tone and in the form of a question with a ‘please Sir’ at the end. Do you understand me?”

And of course, i would be saying, “yes Sir, i am sorry Sir. i was clearly out of line Sir.”

And he would then respond with, “I’m not at all surprised to hear you apologize, but you will now be punished for your indiscretions. Get naked and assume the position.” (And prepare to be spanked, and to be followed up with standing in the corner for an indeterminable amount of time, until I decide otherwise!)

Real life example 2 – what did happen:

At 4:50, i got a text, “when home?” (And just to let YOU know …. today is a Friday and i NEVER work late on Friday’s. i truly believe i “have” to leave on time on Friday’s. i don’t know why, but i definitely have this “thing” about leaving on time on Friday’s).

So my response was, “10-minutes”.

Sir said, “ok, great. Can you stop and buy mozzarella cheese?”

Now the next thing you should know is that David cooks, and i clean. He was home cooking dinner when he sent those texts.

Real life example 2 – what would’ve happened if i were in charge:

“Because you WILL be leaving in 10-minutes, you need to stop to buy mozzarella cheese on the way home. Don’t forget.”

Now i don’t know about you, but the first example seems a bit more extreme to me than the second. But in both cases, i feel that i was disrespectful to Sir and he allowed it. i didn’t mean to be disrespectful, but like anyone, if allowed to do things inappropriate…. we do.

But just like a child, they need to be trained in the ways you want them to be. And if you allow them to treat you with dishonor, disrespect, and no submission at all…. well…. they won’t. And quite often, it becomes “who they are” and the way they do the things they do. And it becomes “normal.”

To a large degree, that’s how i am. We’ve been together for over 20-years (most of it married, but not all), and now, after finding DD only a year ago… my ways are dying hard. And David thinks i “don’t know what i’m really asking for”.

But i disagree with Sir. i think i know exactly what i am asking for and what i truly want. And i told him so too.

He responded with, “I’ll think about it. But you are not in control in the end!”

So we shall see.

Are you submissive? Have you asked for MORE? Did you regret it?

Hugs,

Marie