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302 – Sometimes.. i just gotta ask to be spanked

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 302 – Sometimes.. i just gotta ask to be spanked

And yet.

i won’t ask for it.

Because ….

i don’t know how… without causing more trouble.

So i don’t.

And then i get cranky.

And unsubmissive.

And bratty. And defiant. And difficult. And (often) results in fights breaking out.

This week i have been very stressed out at work….. But so has my Sir. Fortunately, or not, our careers are both similar in that the times of the year we have a lot of deadlines (and stress) are the same.

So me being cranky, stressed, or difficult just causes more work for him. And in a lot of ways, i think that’s unfair of me to put on him. That instead of asking him to be a Dominant Dom for me, i need to get a grip, have more self control, and to straighten up and fly right.

i mean, really….. how hard is it to be submissive, follow the rules, and do as-is-expected?!? If i want him to be a Dominant Dom, why can’t i be a submissive submissive?! It seems what i need is to simple exercise more self control.

So. i need to be spanked. i need to be reminded of how to be submissive and how to straighten up and fly right. But. i won’t ask for it.

i need the endorphins to kick in, the way it always does, when the spanking(s) is administered just right. But. i won’t ask for it.

But. It isn’t fair or right for me to expect David to have more to-do’s on his already-full-list too.

Okay, so just ask already! Let him be the decision maker. Let him know my needs and be the one to decide yes, no, maybe. Just asking for my needs to be met does not put me in charge or a lot on him. And if it does seem too much for him, let him still be the one to have the ultimate decision making power. But. i won’t ask for it.

i was in the shower first this morning and i had all these thoughts that i just wrote down all running through my head. i even played out a scenario…. In my head …..As follows…..

Upon getting out of the shower and drying off, David materialized saying, “it’s Friday. That means maintenance. I’ve been lax lately and you sorely need to feel a sore butt today. As well, I sorely need to feel the power of being in control. Assume the Position.”

I didn’t argue as I knew he was right. I simply said, “Yes Sir,” and started to get on the bed and into position. That position is naked, head down, and my butt propped in the air with a pillow wedged under my hips.

My arms always lay flat and fully extended down to the bottom of the bed. This causes my forearms to press my boobs together and under the pillow that holds my butt in the air. When I am also propped up a bit onto my knees, my hands reach to my ankles and frequently I use my hands to hold onto my ankles. This all serves to get my arms out of the way, not allow me to use them to shield my bottom or to move out of position (any too easily).

David picks up his new favorite tool… the whip. He says, “this is going to be a good and hard maintenance. While usually I take it a little slower at first, that’s not going to happen today. As well, you know a lot of times with maintenance, I touch my pussy at the end and allow it to orgasm. That’s not going to happen today either.”

He continued, “we both know that we both need this maintenance today. And I want it to be about power exchange, not about your sexual pleasure. In fact, when this maintenance is complete, I’m going to hug and kiss you and tell you how much I love you. And then you’ll put on the chastity belt, bring me the key, and you’ll stay that way for the duration of the weekend or until I decide otherwise. Understood?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Do you accept all this freely?”

“Yes Sir.” (And I meant it too.)

And so it was.

The spanking was hard and fast, just as promised. I felt the whip collide with my butt over and over again. I was squirming and praying for the sting to subside, but of course, it didn’t. My butt started to feel hot, along with my whole body starting to sweat. I knew this was good for me, and it was needed, but at the same time not desirable either.

When David finally stopped, I was feeling way more humble and submissive. Of course, we both knew that was the goal.

As promised, he sat me up onto my knees while I was still on the bed where he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. His lips touched and kissed on my neck, until he pulled me back to kiss my lips too.

When he was done, he looked into my eyes and said, “I am so proud of you, my love. You are an amazing wife and your willingness to submit to me, as our head of household, is so sexy. You turn me on and make me love you that much more every single time your submission is this obvious and blatant.”

He finished with, “while I am indeed turned on and I’d like to touch my pussy to make it orgasm, I know that’s not what you need right now. You need to continue to be reminded how to submit and to not expect your pleasures to be met just because you want it. Go put the belt on and bring me the key.”

And I did. And he said, “good girl. Now go get ready for the day.”

And I did.

^^^^^^^^^ ALL that happened solely in my head!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ALL that is what i wanted to go tell David and have him do to me.

But i didn’t.

Why not?!?

Because. i am NOT in charge. i need to exercise more self discipline. i need to NOT put more to-do’s on him. i need it to be his ideas and his desires to Dominant me in ways that make him happy. NOT in ways that i want or make me happy.

So.

Instead, i am getting dressed and ready for work and saying nothing to him about this. i will try to just be a good submissive wife all on my own… by straightening up and flying right. Hopefully.

Have a good weekend my friends!

Hugs,

Marie

300 The Five A’s of R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on 300 The Five A’s of R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

So the word “RESPECT” (and DISrespect!) has been on my mind nonstop since i read the blog post about it and mentioned it to you before too.

There is so much in that one word i can’t even quite organize my thoughts or know what i want to say, but i am going to try to do it justice! (Which is why i have worked on this post for ages now and haven’t actually produced anything for you to read. Hopefully that ends here.)

The definition …. “Respect”

The word respect comes from the Latin respectus which means ‘attention’ or ‘consideration’.

RESPECT can be a noun or a verb.

As a noun, it is a deep feeling of admiration for someone, elicited by their abilities, characteristics, or achievements.

As a verb, it is to actively admire someone deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

i would argue that anyone in a relationship should actively RESPECT and find ways to show it toward your spouse so that your spouse KNOWS you respect them!

In thinking about respect for my husband, i would say it should be used as a verb. i want to ACTIVELY respect David. He deserves it for his abilities, AND qualities, AND achievements. But also because he is the head of our household… and that includes Me!

Recently i heard David say to me, “That was very disrespectful. Wasn’t it?”

And i had to agree.

He had previously asked me to carry the car keys in my purse, and just before being told i was acting disrespectful, he had asked me if i still had the keys. And i answered, “yes… you put them in my purse before…..”. And when i spoke, i had a “don’t you remember??” Or maybe even a “duh!” kind of tone about my response, not to mention i probably had a matching look on my face.

He was not thrilled, and i didn’t blame him.

Of course, i did not do any of this on purpose, or maybe i subconsciously did.

That’s where the ACTIVE part of RESPECT starts too. If i did this intentionally, it was not consciously. i was not aware of my actions until it was too late. And sometimes that’s the problem. i need to be more conscious about my words and tone

The words and tone matter

i googled, “how to show respect” and a bajillion sites came up. i clicked on a handful just to see what someone else thought this might entail. Most of the sites were fairly consistent and the #1 thing that seemed to be constantly repeated all revolved around the use of our words.

Some examples include….

  • Say please and thank you,
  • Praise him in front of others,
  • Apologize when you are wrong,
  • Compliment him,
  • Let him know he matters.

i could keep going, but you see the pattern. Use your words wisely. And with intentionality.

The age old childhood words, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is so NOT true. Okay, the first part is true, but the second part is worse than the first part!

Words are permanent. Once they are out there, they can’t be taken back. While the sticks and stones do indeed cause broken bones, they heal. Sometimes the hurt from harmful words never heal.

Use your words wisely!

For David, most of my respect definitely comes in the use of my words, especially the word “Sir.”

This is even more true when he’s asked me a direct question where the answer is a simple yes or no, my answer should be followed by “Sir.” For example, “Did you sleep well?” My response should be, “Yes [or no] Sir.” My answer should absolutely NOT just be a “yes.”

To even take it a bit further, he would never want to hear, “yeah” or “uh huh,” or some other similar version of the word “yes.” The same goes for the word “no,” where alternative words are not acceptable. It should be a “yes (or no) Sir.” He doesn’t like alternative words as they seem lazy, which is also another form of disrespect.

So without the right words and intentional use of them, i am lazy and disrespectful in David’s eyes. And while i do agree, even if i did not, my opinion is really irrelevant because how he feels about it is what ultimately matters. And to accept that he doesn’t like it, and to avoid using words that he doesn’t like (and use one’s he does like), is actively showing respect.

There are other ways to show RESPECT that include …..

  • Spend time with him,
  • Spontaneously touch him,
  • Smile at him with love,
  • Let him be a leader,
  • Ask him for advice.

Did you notice that NONE of these things require spending of money? Oh, a gift is also another way to show respect too, but it isn’t required.

Money is not necessary or required in order to show RESPECT towards someone. Respect is an action, much like walking or running or breathing.

If showing respect isn’t a nature part of your day, then maybe add it to an your to-do list today to build it into your daily routine and to be intentional about it.

Maybe your (or my) To-do List should look something like …..

  • Go to the store,
  • Clean the bedroom,
  • wash clothes,
  • SHOW RESPECT TO MY HUSBAND.

But then it shouldn’t be LAST on the list either because let’s face it, the most important to-do items are always the first ones listed or the ones we tackle first.

If “show respect” is last, it may not get done. We don’t always get the entire list checked off. You may not intentionally let him know he matters, you care, you love, and you RESPECT him if you don’t get to the bottom of the list if that’s where this to-do resides.

Make your spouse a priority and make “show RESPECT” be the first to-do that you do today!

Because when you fail to RESPECT him, now you’ve DISRESPECTED him.

(i have another part-done post on another idea relating to respect. Hopefully i will get it finished soon… stay tuned!)

Hugs,

Marie

299 – Creative Domestic Discipline

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. 23 Comments on 299 – Creative Domestic Discipline

David isn’t an artist, nor is he necessarily a fantastical creative person, but then neither am i. So when he told me to “come up with some creative disciplines,” i was a bit surprised.

He has been out of town right for the last several days and i have been trusted to be in-belt, but i have the key (see my former post about the CB needing to “be fixed”). As such, i could get out and could be a bad girl by touching what does not belong to me at any time i wanted to. Officially that means that i have the belt in place as a physical reminder to be a good girl and to make good choices, but i am also on the honor system at the same time too.

As well, David is thinking that maybe a spanking isn’t always the most effective punishment. If i think the punishment isn’t as bad as the reward, (or is at least that a spanking is worth the bad behavior) then i will take what i want and bear the consequences. In other words, if i want to orgasm bad enough AND i think getting that orgasm will be worth the spanking, then i will just do it and take the punishment…. Thinking it was all worth it. (There’s a clinical word for this conditioning, but i can’t remember it and can’t seem to find it via google at the moment either.)

The fact that the punishment may not be a good-enough-motivator to be a good girl means that the spanking has to be that much worse, or an alternative/different punishment is needed to get the job done.

That prompted David to ask me to come up with some “Creative Punishments.”

Again, i am not really creative at all so this has been a challenge. While some of what i have come up with may not be altogether creative, per se, they would be things that i would NOT like at all (and that he should therefore truly consider effective punishments).

Here’s what i have come up with…. (in no particular order).

1) Being made to sleep on the floor.

i know some submissives (and especially many slaves) already do this, i have never done this. i have zero desire to sleep away from my husband or on the floor.

If or when i am being disrespectful or acting like my life is hard, i probably need to be reminded just how good it really is. One way to be reminded of the good stuff is to have it taken away.

So being made to do so would be a punishment to serve as a reminder that being allowed to sleep in the bed (OUR bed!) is in fact a reward and a privilege not shared by everyone always.

2) Eating hot sauce.

David LOVES hot sauce(s), hot flavorings, hot foods, and … well… anything hot (like me. Lol). The hotter, the better. He’s not afraid of anything hot and when a restaurant waitress says, “oh THIS is hot,” he sees it as a challenge and says, “bring it!” He has hardly ever not rose to the challenge.

On the opposite side of that spectrum is me. i do NOT like hot anything. When i eat foods that make my mouth burn, i feel like i have to escape it, get it away from me, and make it go away. In essence, i panic. And David knows this.

Because i hate hot sauce SO much, this would be an extremely effective punishment.

Maybe i spew anger and yell at him when we both know i shouldn’t be speaking to him this way. This could be effective in (say) times where i use my words inappropriately or use curse words. (It hasn’t been a rule that i can’t cuss, but it may as well be because David hates it!).

He could make me drink hot sauce or eat some spicy food (in its entirety) that is very hot flavored while saying something like, “Because you insist on using hot, angry, inappropriate words, your entire mouth will feel it’s pain and anger. You know I don’t like how you spoke to me and I think you need to be reminded to be softer, kinder, and less angry.”

And of course, milk would NOT be allowed to dull the effects afterward.

3) Cutting an entire onion.

Along the lines of food, i can not cut onions easily at all. i have to go very fast and for a very quick minutes or else the flood gates opening up in my eyes.

i have never managed to get more than (about) 1/4 – 1/3 of an onion cut and have to quit. It’s not usually a problem as that’s about all we need in any dish, but also the fact that David does the cooking makes it where i don’t have to cut many onions anyway.

He could make me cut the entire onion and until it’s completed, the punishment is not done. i would be crying for a LONG time for this!

It could be used for anything really, but especially good for when i make it plain that something he’s asked me to do i didn’t want to do. Maybe for example, “stop at the store on the way home and buy xyz.” If my attitude about it shows annoyance, anger, hesitation, frustration, etc, he could say, “if you don’t want to do the easy tasks when I ask, then let’s have you do a hard one.”

This would be a reminder to appreciate the easy things i am asked to do and be willing to help when asked.

4) Sir must be within my eyesight

If i get snarky, forget/don’t show him respect, don’t do something he asks (likely resulting from just plain forgetting), he could use this as an effective discipline.

He would have to make this be a long enough time period, say quite a few hours or up to a full day, to be truly effective so as to cause me to pay attention, not forget, and make him/his words be top of mind.

He could something like, “apparently I don’t matter enough for you to show me respect or to remember things that I ask you to do. It seems you need to be reminded to focus on me and that I am in-charge. Today you’ll go where I go. You’ll need to ensure that you can have eyes on me at all times.”

So whatever room he is in, I’ll also need to be in. When he moves (from room to room), I’d need to be prepared to do the same without forgetting or refusing.

5) Take away my Technology (iPad and iPhone).

i would die. This would be worse than terrible. Enough said.

6) Stand in the corner Or hold coins on the wall with just a finger.

While this isn’t particularly creative really, as many subs are made to do this, i have not been. This would be a new one for US.

The best use of this discipline, in my opinion and especially for me, would be when i am mentally out of control. Say i am stressed, anxiety ridden, feeling overwhelmed, etc and i need a time out.

Staring at the wall or having to focus in on a single task, like holding a penny up without dropping it, would cause my mind to go still of all the outside things that have built up.

7) Forced orgasms.

All of the above was non-sexual discipline, related to non-sexual disobedient behaviors. There’s likely more that could be thought up, but that’s what i got for now.

Then there’s the sexual side.

The only real rules i have regarding anything sexual is that: 1) i am not allowed to touch or play with myself without permission, and 2) i am not allowed to orgasm without asking, even when we are having sex together.

Of course, while it isn’t a rule, anytime he wants to have sexual activities with me, i am to oblige. This doesn’t have to be a rule, as i believe it is a part of marriage. When we said “I do,” we gave the right to be intimate with one another to the other. And as a submissive wife, that means i gave permission to him to have sex whenever he wants. (Obviously there are reasons to refuse…. Physical illness being the primary one.). But saying no to sex, “just because i don’t want to,” is not a valid reason to say no.

For when i break my only two rules, spankings and the chastity belt are effective tools. But David could also do other things too (the whole point of this post)….. like…..

David has made me have forced orgasms once or twice before, but it wasn’t necessarily intended as a discipline. That was when i truly discovered what a “forced orgasm,” was really about.

When he’s done this before (made me continue to stimulate myself until allowed to stop), it was pain mixed with pleasure. And afterward, i really had NO desire to touch myself.

Final words

That’s all i can think of for now. Again, i am NOT a creative one so coming up with any of this was a challenge.

i usually consider the number seven (7) to be my lucky number, but as it is that these are punishments, i am not so sure it is “lucky” now.

Any other creative discipline suggestions that you may have, to get me from 7 to 8, and thereby allowing me to continue to think of “7” as lucky, would be welcomed!

What punishments have you given or received?!

Hugs,

Marie

298 – Struggling

Written by Marie on . Posted in Uncategorized. 7 Comments on 298 – Struggling

i am struggling.

i am thinking about how crazy, silly, absurd, and strange my chastity belt fascination is.

David is out of town. For a total of 5-days, from Saturday (yesterday) to Wednesday. Today is just Sunday, 1-day into his trip. And maybe i am just missing him or maybe i am crazy or maybe i am just being a brat…. but…. i am struggling a lot.

When David left, he told me to put on the old belt, like how i wrote about, where i said within a few short hours it was sooooo uncomfortable that i was able to take it off.

David then said to put on the new belt and only take it off to poop. i did. i put on the new belt.

And it has now been on for 24-hours, minus the few minutes to poop this morning. Things are all good physically, without chafing or stretches or itching, or anything.

But i am struggling mentally.

i told David this whole thing is stupid. Me wearing it, feeling like it’s needed, acting like it is a better way… is all stupid. And that makes ME stupid too.

There’s a reason why most people, in their sane mind, don’t wear chastity belts. Sane people are ….well…. sane.

And i wonder if i am insane. i must be!

Whyyyyy else would i think this was a good idea?!

i told David all this and he said i was just freaking out unnecessarily and this is good for me.

He then proceeded to give me some reasons why i wear this belt….

1) i am more submissive when i wear it. (Which is true actually!). Every time i wear it, my “brat attitude,” evaporates and is replaced with the proper respectful ways.

In fact, last week i smarted off to David and he responded with, “do you have the belt on?” Of course, i did NOT.

2) wearing a CB may be different from other people, but it fits me. Literally and figuratively. He said i need to “just be me.” And i guess that’s true too.

The belt calms me in ways i can’t explain. i know having the control taken away from me is a good thing and helps me to relax.

3) Then he said i ought to blog about this stress i am having, that i would feel better. He was right about that too.

This blog brings me peace. i can’t talk about these INSANE and STUPID things i do with anyone in my real life. But i can talk about and be ME here to you.

And lastly, he said i would be in trouble if i take it off as i do not have permission to do so. i want to take it off, to be “sane.” But, i like what it does for me AND David. And i don’t want my butt to be torn up either.

i’m really not sure i am sane. But that’s ok. Because i am with my Sir, who loves me dearly … just as i am. Insane or not.

So now i am off to bed….. in my belt.

Hugs,

Marie