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228 – Hidden in plain sight

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 228 – Hidden in plain sight

Sometimes Submission is obvious. When you know what it looks like. Frequently though, people are not looking or aware.

i walk through the grocery store with David and to anyone knowing what a submissive wife looks like, you’d see it plainly when looking at me as we walk together.

Then there’s the non-submissive wives (or husbands) that anyone can see too. NO criticism, just saying they are obvious to me too.

Those are usually the couples who are bickering or even fighting about this or that as they go through the store. They are the ones who can’t seem to agree whether $2.99 for a lb of grapes is reasonable or not. i would tell you one of the biggest reasons to submit is because of the harmony it creates. Life is so much more enjoyable when it is done with joy and harmony. (i wouldn’t argue with David if he said that was too much for grapes. i would simply say “ok” and that’s that!)

And the opposite is true too. i walk through the store watching others as we go, and i see submissiveness in others. When i see another submissive wife, we usually make eye contact, smile, and it signifies the other know how much we approve of one another.

It’s clear if you know what to look for AND you are paying attention. And if you do not or are not paying attention, a D/s relationship becomes hidden in plain sight.

So what does a submissive wife look like in the grocery store anyway? That’s an easy question to answer, because it’s me! i will just tell you how i look and act in the store!

First i will tell you how i look.

In the spirit of A-L-W-A-Y-S have something in or on my body as a reminder of my submission, today i asked David as i was getting dressing, “open or closed?”

He was confused and asked, “what?”

i smiled and said, “Today i was thinking i should either wear the crotchless pants or the chastity belt as the submissive item of the day. So my puss would either be very open or very closed, which would you prefer?”

He smiled at me and said, “while I think you need to have it locked up, I want to have it open today.” So open it should be!

i am physically dressed today with my stretch, yoga-style pants, that have no crotch. There is an opening from the very front to the very back. On my top, i wear a shirt that is extra long, which is more than enough to cover myself. It has a (relatively) deep V-cut neckline, but not too deep. It shows just the top edge of the crevice between each breast, giving a bit of a tease to any onlooker yet leaving much to the imagination too. And lastly, i wear two pieces of jewelry: my wedding ring and a stylish silver choker collar.

There is no bra, and of course, no panties either. There would be absolutely no point in wearing panties with crotchless pants, right?!

When you lay your eyes on me, if you were observant you would likely notice my nipples poking through my shirt, or maybe not. You may also notice my necklace, or maybe not as well. Both are in plain sight. Of course, most people either don’t see or if they do, don’t realize the significance of seeing either of them so my submission is therefore hidden.

Most people assume seeing my nipples is a sign of me being either risqué, a slut, or both. This is at least one reason why i almost always wear my wedding ring and am always standing near my husband. Then again, if they want to assume i am one of those, that’s their decision and i am ok with that. i am proud of being submissive and not ashamed.

And my collar. A submissive collar usually has a circle on it, as does mine. i have more than one collar. i still owe you a post about my collar but that’s not this post either and you’ll have to wait for that one still. i will tell you now though that i frequently wear one of my collars in public. To someone in the know, and observantly watching, they would know it’s a sign of my submission but if you weren’t aware, you’d just think it was a pretty silver choker necklace. Next time you see a choker necklace on a girl while in public, and there’s a circle on it, you’ll now know that she’s a sub! Again, i will tell you more about the collar(s) i own and wear in another post.

Lastly, you wouldn’t see this at all about me but rather David. He sneaks small touches of my puss as we move about the produce aisle, turn the corner to the next aisle, or when reaching to pick up an item. You probably won’t see this though as he does it subtly and you’d have to be paying a LOT for attention to find this. But IF you do see it, you’ll see me allowing it too.

Next i will tell you how i act.

As i have somewhat already said above, i stand tall. i am not afraid to have people see my submission, nor am i embarrassed or worried or turned off or otherwise stressed. In fact, i am proud.

When i walked through the store today, i held my head high and my shoulders back. That’s when you’d have possibly seen my nipples poking through!

If you were to see me, you’d have likely found me following behind David. While i sometimes walk next to him and there’s no official rule about where i must stand in relation to him, the store can be crowded allowing only just enough room to walk in a single file line. When that’s the case, i walk behind. Never in front. Never EVER in front. i follow. i never lead, physically or mentally! This is by choice that i follow and of course mentally too.

If and when you did actually lay eyes on me, i make eye contact and smile. Sometimes i talk to you and say hello, but not always. If you speak to me, i will always speak back though too. If you knew i was submissive, you might be surprised to see that i am not an introvert really and will not appear to shrink when seen or spoken to. i am proud of who i am. i am submissive for sure, but i am not ashamed or afraid of people seeing the real me which is NOT an introvert!

Because i am proud, if you were to ask me about anything, including about my submission, i would answer honestly. People frequently aren’t confident enough to speak to someone else at all, but especially about something so private as a submission collar around her neck even when you know me well! (i wear my collar to work quite frequently and most people think it is a “very lovely necklace!” And no one, absolutely no ONE has ever asked… but i am sure that at least 3-suspect!)

i always walk close to David. He is always within my eye sight, if not within arm’s length. The only exception to that (ever) is if he tells me to go pick up something further away, in which case i oblige.

i generally push the cart and he fills it up. He cooks and i clean. That’s always been our deal, so in the store, he decides what to buy and i just wait for the cart to be filled and we leave.

We make jokes and references about submission when we are in public fairly frequently too. Like today, there was a woman on a mission with her shopping cart. She was rather oblivious about her surroundings and seemingly uncaring too. She took up the entire aisle, criss-crossed, and was set on going where she wanted to. Had the rest of us not moved out of her way, she likely would have plowed into someone. David made a comment about her, to which i said, “Some people think they own the place and that they are in charge.”

David laughed and said, “You never think that. Do you?”

“Absolutely not! But she did.”

“Yes, she did indeed. Maybe someone needs to teach her a lesson.”

And we laugh.

The entire conversation is quiet enough that most wouldn’t hear, but if you did, you’d know it was about submission too.

Today when we left the store, as we drove home David reached over and drew up my shirt exposing my pussy to him. He commented about how pretty it looked just hanging out there.

And then his hand started exploring and playing with it. It swelled at his touch. i became very turned on and was enjoying the attention. He played as he drove. i should have been concerned about his distraction, but i suppose i was distracted beyond the point of concern. Of course, i NEVER say no to his touch. His hand, tongue, or cock is ALWAYS welcome on (or in) my body any day or night or location!

He talked to me and said, “you were a good girl at the store. i love how you wore this outfit today making it easy for me, yet never said a word on the way here.”

i commented, “i knew you knew it was available to you Sir. i knew i didn’t have to say anything, but i was hoping you’d touch me too!”

The more he played, the more aroused i became. i found myself asking to orgasm and he said yes. So i did. i orgasmed right there, in the car, on the freeway, with my puss on display for anyone to see.

Yet, no one did. No one saw me orgasm because they weren’t looking. Just like it’s probable that no one noticed or saw me in the store either.

There’s so much around us that we just don’t notice because we really are just not looking.

So many things are hidden in plain sight. i might can prove to you now that even you weren’t paying attention….. did you look at the photo? What does it look like? Did you see the animals?

Did you see the THREE animals in the photo above? Yes, there are three…. Here ya go!

Hugs,

Marie

224 – A-L-W-A-Y-S is a big word.

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 224 – A-L-W-A-Y-S is a big word.

A-L-W-A-Y-S.

i have a tendency to touch stuff, including stuff i should not.

Once when we were in an art museum in England, where there were tons of very old art pieces dating back many centuries…. i touched one. Despite ALL the signs, the guards in each room and the fact the oils from my finger could ruin a piece forever… i did it. i touched one. We were nearly thrown out of the museum and David was quite annoyed (ok, angry!) with me, but i did it. i touched it. i just felt like i had to! So i did!

i never buy clothing online because i can’t feel what it feels like before spending money on it. When i shop, i touch more stuff than i even realize just to know the texture. i have found myself doing it all the time, even when i am not buying something like clothing. For example, i walked through Walmart the other day and had to pass the men’s clothing department. i ran my hands along the displays of men’s shorts as i passed them, despite the fact i was not going to be buying them at all.

And you all should know by now that i touch my body including parts i should not. And it gets me in trouble fairly frequently, as you know as well!

But touching myself is not exactly what i am wanting to talk about now.

Whatever i wear for the day, i touch it regularly too. Like for example with my earrings or necklace that i wear on any given day, i tend to fiddle with them all throughout the day. i don’t do it always conscientiously, in fact, frequently it is not.

As i touch, i sometimes then think about how or when it came to be. So whatever i have on for the day, tends to be a very tangible reminder to me of anything and everything all day long.

i was talking to David about how much having something tangible on (or IN) my body serves as a constant reminder to me ….of places, events, or activities from where or how i received it.

He then said to me, “you need to A-L-W-A-Y-S wear something that reminds you of my submission.“

i said, “A-L-W-A-Y-S?”

And he said, “A-L-W-A-Y-S!”

We then talked about what that “something” is or what it should be. He said, “the something should be your collar, your bracelet, an anal plug, a vibratory, a dildo, or your chastity belt. You can take your pick. But you should A-L-W-A-Y-S wear something.”

A-L-W-A-Y-S.

So today.. i wore my collar. i will tell you more about it in another post and what it means and how it came to be.

But today… every time i touched it, whether consciously or subconsciously, i was reminded of it and exactly what it means…. Which it ultimately means that i belong to David…. As his good, submissive wife.

A-L-W-A-Y-S.

Hugs,

Marie

214 – My DISCIPLINED LIFE is not just about sex

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, Submission. No Comments on 214 – My DISCIPLINED LIFE is not just about sex

**Fair warning… full of deep thoughts and i got extra wordy today. Hope you stick to the end, but if you don’t, i get it! 😉

As of late, i have written a lot more about sex than discipline. While allowing sex to happen in any moment that pleases my husband is being submissive too, my “disciplined life” isn’t just about that either.

(** but in times of my intentional orgasm denial, i tend to think, walk, and talk S-E-X… so it’s easy to talk about A LOT!). Plus, domination and submission is sexy too. So there’s that!…. ANYWAY…..)

Our relationship does have rules, just not a formal contract, that include more than “just sex stuff” and all rules apply all the time. No matter where we are, what we do, who is with us…. The rules apply.

That may sound harsh, but i like it. It is consistent. We both know what to expect. i won’t say the rules are always applied correctly, or that we don’t change them, or that sometimes the rules need to be bent for certain situations because, well….they do. i should add that not just the rules are bent, but the consequences are sometimes also as well. While having “always applied” and “consistent practiced” being the ideal, it’s not practical. Unfortunately we have “life” that occurs causing rules and consequences to be bent.

The most obvious of reasons why the rules change (or get bent or transgressions more quickly forgiven without any real consequences) is illness. When either one of us do not feel well, it’s hard to do anything at all, let alone be dominant or submissive.

And sometimes we just “don’t feel like it” too. The most obvious time we don’t “feel” up to following the rules or enforcing the consequences is STRESS (and-or deadlines), especially stemming from work.

When we don’t feel like it, we have problems though. “Houston….. we have a problem” or multiple problems even!

Usually the problems start with ignoring the rules. When we say “it doesn’t apply” in this situation or for this reason or let’s take a break tonight or or or….. it amounts to excuses.

And like all things in life, we need to adhere to certain rules whether we “feel” like it or not. For example… can you imagine ignoring trash day because you don’t feel like it? Or how about ignoring the electric bill because you were “too busy” to get it paid?

We live by rules in our everyday life for a reason: to keep order.

And when they are not followed: chaos ensues.

So what are my rules? Really the answer to this question is also, in part, why we don’t have a contract. My rules are fairly general and generic. Things like, “Always show respect” and “Never talk back” and “say Sir when speaking to David”. And of course, i recently spoke about them in-depth recently and you can read all about it if you’d like.

Most of the times, my rules are easy but sometimes being so generic, it gets misunderstood or misinterpreted and that lands me in hot water. Most of the time though, the trouble i land is is me trying to use the vagueness to my advantage when i don’t “feel” like following the rules. That’s when i say, “oh. i didn’t realize you wanted ME to do that.” Or “i didn’t hear you Sir.” When i did. i knew. And i heard just fine. But I ignored him. On purpose.

And he knew it too.

Now he knows i lied too.

But he can’t prove it either.

And we both know.

THIS is where a good Dominant will enforce the rules anyway. Maybe a warning or a small punishment would be good. The first time. But not over and over.

So does David have rules too you ask? Well…. To lead our family, including me. He is to be fair and reasonable. Not change the rules on a whim. And enforce the rules for me when needed, whether he “feels” like it or not. Of course like me, sometimes he doesn’t “feel” like it.

When rules are enforced, we both know it has nothing to do with feelings or emotions. There’s a black and white situation at hand. There was a rule. It was broken. Consequences ensue. Consequences are enforced.

Period.

The end.

Feelings are not even relevant. He shouldn’t ever feel guilty about giving a spanking, making me stand in a Corner, or do whatever it is that is appropriate for the situation. Nor should i become emotional, try to twist the situation, or try to get out of the punishment. i earned it, i deserve it, and when it is administered we will both forgive, reset, and move on. (**Notice i did NOT say “forget”? Because neither of us should forget. If the transgressions are forgotten, then the rule is likely to be broken again and again causing unnecessary strife for all!)

i suppose really, how we both act or respond during punishment time is somewhat of a rule also. While i may not want it, or he may not want to give it, it is what it is at that moment. Like trash day… take it out and be done. Don’t overthink it, don’t try to change it, or make someone feel guilty, ashamed, or otherwise emotional about it. Similarly, David should just do it, and i should just accept it.

While it would stand to reason that most of the time, a punishment should be immediate, sometimes it’s not.

The three most obvious reasons that come to mind for not administering punishment immediately are:

1) being in a public place at the time, and

2) around our son and

3) when David is mad.

Taking those one at a time….

PUBLIC PLACES: i would say i tend to act up most while in public. i think the little devious side of me creeps in and says, “there’s nothing he can do about it right now.” So i say/do whatever i want, knowing nothing is going to happen. At least, not then or there. (**Read: brat submissive!)

Not then or there….But there’s no reason why it shouldn’t happen later or in a private place. And to that point, sometimes David doesn’t “feel” like it later or we are tired or we forget….. which gets me out of it. i think in some ways, i am counting on him to not feel like it later. Or maybe i am testing him too. Maybe not in an intentional, well-thought-out or appropriate way, and definitely not an appropriate one either.

A Dominant should always be true to his word. If he says, “you’ll be punished for doing xyz”, then you should be. Even if it happens later. But again, we (as humans, including my Dominant Sir) don’t always feel like it.

Let’s face it, we are not young kids or animals. We don’t have to have the punishment be swift or immediate. Because it’s not like i will forget that quickly why i am being punished later! And if i were to actually forget, it’s not hard to be reminded and think back to it when the punishment is administered too.

2) AROUND KIDS: Kids of any age are likely to think Mom is being beaten and abused if they were to hear Mom being spanked by Dad!

Spanking is NOT a quiet activity. Not only my yelps or tears, but David asking why are we here and talking to me too….. but ESPECIALLY noisy is the paddle itself when it collides with my ass cheeks. It makes a “smack” sound that is not quiet at all. (**there’s a reason why i write “S-M-A-C-K” when i describe my spankings in other posts!).

And while Domestic Discipline is in our marriage and a part of who we are, it’s not easily understood by ADULTS even. i know many of you don’t understand this is consensual, band while i can assure you: it IS!!; HOW would i ever be able to explain that to a child?

When i say child, i don’t just mean small ones. Our 17-year old, Senior in HS is still a child. He does not know about our DD household. (**no, he truly doesn’t!). Many people think and have even told me in emails, “he’s not stupid. He knows!” but i most definitely know he does not. i know this because we do not do any activities, including spanking, ANY time he is in the house. David has always spanked me when our son is away. The only thing our son has ever heard is me saying, “Sir” to David but here in the south, that’s reasonably the norm and our son doesn’t think much of it. (i even received a recent group email with several colleagues and clients were on the email, where one of the people replied all to a previous man’s statement with, “Yes Sir.”. My point is, even in the workplace, hearing someone say those words is not very uncommon.)

3) David is Mad. David has NEVER hit me, intentionally or otherwise, when he was mad. This is how i know he loves me unconditionally. No matter what caused his anger towards me, he has NEVER laid a hand on me until after his anger subsides.

And yet, when the anger subsides, those are the times when i KNOW i WILL be punished for it. The consequences or punishments are ALWAYS dolled out for these times. Without fail. But ALWAYS when he has calmed down.

David says he doesn’t trust himself when he gets angry to not beat me, to not go too far, to not just lash out with all he has. So because he’s still in control, of himself and our household, even when he is his most angry self, he refrains from dishing out all that i deserve.

And that’s how it should be!

That’s the difference between wife-beating and wife-discipline. That’s the difference between consent and non-consent. That’s why i know i can and do trust him to spank me when i most need it, but to never go too far either. And that’s why it’s consensual.

So… MY DISCIPLINED LIFE is about more than sex. It’s about rules. Every day, all the time…. But sometimes not always followed or enforced, even if it should be because… well… that’s life. But we try to do our best and move on from there.

Hugs,

Marie

198 – IT problems galore

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts. No Comments on 198 – IT problems galore

So completely not my blog topic, but definitely been applicable as of late…..

IT problems and me go hand in hand. David and our son quite literally say, “It’s a technology/ IT thing… “ to me on a regular basis.

Last week David went out of town for work for 2-days. While he was gone, i went to the garage to go to work and the garage door opener just wasn’t working. We had electricity to the house, so i wasn’t sure of the motor had gone out or what exactly. I decided to go flip the breaker and see if it made a difference. It did not. Had to raise/lower the door by hand [NOT EASY] for 2-days. David got home, did the exact same thing as me.,. It worked.

A month ago, the tv wouldn’t come on. i changed the remote batteries out, still didn’t work. Our son picks up the remote, pushes the power button… it worked.

Here’s my latest drama….

Over the weekend, (2-days ago, i became aware that my site was not working. It worked on the inside, but not on the outside. In other words, it looked like it was working from my side and i posted a blog message. But when David went to read it from a browser, it wouldn’t load at all.

The first message received was a 404 error. When i looked up how to fix it, it talked about permalink and resetting them. So i did that.

Then the original error message changed, and now went to one saying, “warning: potential security risk ahead”. Googled some more, messed with it some more.

Now the error message went to, “your connection is not private”

So googled and found some more to-do’s. Did that too.

And FINALLY… i think the website is operating again. Or so i have been told.

That’s the good news….but of course…. there still remains some new and still unresolved IT issues.

I can’t access my own site still, at least not on my laptop. i am typing from my tablet access because NOW my computer won’t open Google at all.

When I click on the Google Chrome icon, i get a spinning blue circle for a second and then it just stops. Nothing happens.

From my phone, i searched what could cause this and it says the anti virus can. So i turned it off. Still nothing.

Googled some more, and says “try deleting chrome and reinstalling it.” So i did that.

Then when i go to reinstall, had to use Microsoft Edge.

And when i got to the Google chrome download…. My machine says, “can’t access the internet.” W-H-A-T??

i thought i ought to reboot. Made no difference.

Then thought to hardwire (not WiFi) my machine… it doesn’t have The right kind of plug outlet (has HDMI, but whatever that big one is called is what i don’t have).

So NOW i have to have a converter to hard wire to the internet, to reinstall Google chrome, to hopefully find out first hand my website blog is back operational.

😖😣😖😣😖

Do you ever just think, “W-H-Y???” Yah, that’s me right now.

Can you access my actual website?? Or do you read this through the WordPress app???

Here’s the site: http://www.LovingDisciplineLife.com

Let me know if you can get to it…. Cuz right now i can’t even get on the internet. 😕

Hugs,

Marie

187 – what is “submissive service”

Written by Marie on . Posted in Deep Thoughts, my submissiveness, Submission. No Comments on 187 – what is “submissive service”

(This is a long post, but after reading through it several times trying to find things that i thought could/should be cut… i didn’t want to…. so… it is what it is.)

i have talked a bit about this before. But i feel like talking again. So i will. Ha. And in reading this nonfiction book that i mentioned before, “Real Service” by Tenpenny and Kaldera, i have new thoughts to add, at least i hope anyway.

But before i dive in, i want to give a couple of (only my opinion) thoughts of “what’s the difference between a submissive and a slave. Because while i’d love to be a “sexual slave,” to my husband, i am not. i am quite thoroughly and completely “just a submissive wife” in every aspect.

And why do i make a point to make this distinction? Well… keep reading and it will hopefully become more obvious.

Similarities: Both a submissive and a slave conform to a Dominant’s will, both defer to another’s authority and both ultimately find their own pleasure in making someone else happy. At its core, a submissive and a slave provide a service(s) to a Dominant.

Differences: And while both submissive and slave have a lot in common, they are still quite different too. At its core, a submissive is more free and has more control than a slave. Not to say a submissive is “less” than a slave, because i am NOT diminishing the significance or importance of a submissive whatsoever! It’s just that a submissive has more free-thinking-authority than a slave.

A slave has less control of one self than a submissive. A slave makes less decisions than a submissive. A slave has their decisions taken away from them (freely) whereas a submissive makes decisions (within the given authority of the Dominant). A slave requires more effort of the Dominant (to control and make the decisions for the slave), than what is required of a Dominant with a submissive.

So i guess my ideal combination would be to submit to my husband in everything… except sex. For sex, i would much prefer to have all my control and decisions be taken from me and to be his slave. But it’s not up to me. i suppose in an odd way of thinking of it, having no control over this decision… makes me a slave to the situation!?! (Hmm, not sure if i think that sentence is true really, but having “no control” is at the essence of a slave’s situation/persona… so maybe ??)

What is in my control is learning to be the best submissive wife i can be… which i would ultimately have to admit… includes sex too.

Submissive wife:

i am my husband’s best friend… and submissive wife. (And he is my best friend…. and Dominant husband).

When people say you can’t live a D/s or kinky lifestyle 24/7, i disagree. This is exactly what and how we do it. i am his submissive wife 24/7. That is at least until we slip out of our ways of doing things because of stupid things like “work stress” monopolizing our “home life”…. which is another topic of “how exactly do you maintain the ways of doing things 365-days a year without slipping away from it.” (Good question… i haven’t mastered it!)

i recently saw someone else post a blog that was basically where we have been lately, and she called the “out of the D/s routine” as being in a “rut.” And i suppose that’s a great way to think and a great word for it too. (Again, how to NOT go into a “rut” isn’t in my wheelhouse just yet… and back to today’s blog….)

While i agree there are some things that you simply can’t do 24/7 due to its extreme level/intensity, there are a lot of dominance and submission that absolutely can be done 24/7.

As i mentioned, i am reading the non-fiction book, “Real Service,” where the authors make a point to say and explain how a submissive provides service to a Dominant. And that “service” comes in many forms, including sexual but not just sexual. Service tasks range in its complexity from mundane of housework, errands/shopping, and paying bills, up to other specific things that would fit this particular D/s dynamic like secretarial, being a chauffeur, butler, or chef… and always companionship.

The key is ensuring that whatever services are provided from the sub to the Dom is what the DOM WANTS! The service is meaningless if the Dom doesn’t want (or need) it.

In one section of the book, the author (a Dom) talks about how his sub was performing tasks that the sub thought the Dom wanted, but in fact the Dom did not. The Dom realized he was upsetting his sub when in fact what the sub was doing wasn’t at all important, needed, or valued by the Dom.

The author writes, “Faced with his [the sub’s] disappointment, I had two choices: I could beat myself up for not being able to do this [“this” meaning the Master trying to become satisfied with what the sub was doing for the Master], or we could work together on making the activities that were meaningful for me likewise meaningful for him. And we chose the second option.”

The first key point or takeaway i have here is:

Even if i want to do it, if it means nothing to David…. it isn’t what i should be doing. i need to be doing what David wants, not what i want or what i think he wants.

Sometimes if i were being fully honest, i think i do things trying to impress him and ultimately find favor in order to receive his praise. Only for him to find that he didn’t want or need it, but he now has to decide to: 1) hurt my feelings by telling me it wasn’t wanted, 2) learn to like what i did, 3) give praise for something he neither wanted, asked for, or needed. And let’s face it, options #2 &3 are lying/deceitful to me (and forcing him to bend to me) and may make me think he liked my efforts, leading me to repeat them to get #2 &3 to occur again… vicious circle. All the while, i was just trying to provide a (good) service go/for him but going about it in all the wrong ways.

That seems obvious at its core, i get that. But sometimes i (and maybe other subs too) am certain i know what will make him happy and set out to do these things, only to be disappointed upon figuring out that wasn’t at all what i should be focused on and it didn’t make David happy one iota. And likewise, it puts David in a position to either accept (and learn to like) the service i am giving him… or for him to teach/train me to give the service he is actually wanting (and for me to be happy doing that task instead).

So being reminded to do what he wants, not what I think he wants, is pretty key!

Going back to the submissive versus slave part, i would love nothing more than to be David’s sex-slave not “just” his submissive. But it’s just not what he wants. He wants me to be a submissive wife…. in ALL aspects, including sex.

When it comes to sex specifically, being a submissive doesn’t feel like it is “enough”. At least not for me. But i’d say David thinks being a submissive, even for sex, is plenty enough. So at the end of the day, i am fully aware that what i’d like to do or be… a sex slave… is irrelevant.

i would like to be told (“made”) to…….

Be naked as much as possible, strut in front of him, sit on the floor beside him, not be allowed to be out of his sight, have my mouth stuffed with his cock regularly, sit on his cock and do all the work to get him to orgasm, stuffed with a dildo to stretch enough to accommodate him without any difficulty, be spanked if not wet at the moment he wants/needs me to be, to be punished if unwanted pubic hair is ever found, to wear a butt plug to stretch the back whenever he wants, to be taken when i am sleeping for no other reason than because he wants me, to be tied up or gagged in positions that he has full access, to wear a chastity belt most of the time, to be shared if he wants to, and and and ……i could go on…….

Don’t misinterpret what i am saying to mean i am not my husband’s submissive for sex… because i am. But i want to be MORE than just submissive for sex. i want to be owned, and to have no other options available to me, as it comes to sex. (i love being his submissive wife for all the mundane things of life, but i would really love to be his sexual slave to in the bedroom too.)

But….. that’s not really what i think David wants. If he did want these things, he’d be doing it. Or maybe he does want it, but it’s just not a practical way to live 24-7, 365-a year. So maybe “just” being a submissive is the better way to do things…. most of the time and a sex-slave “only on occasion.”

The author continued by saying, “The servant is obligated to do things the master’s way, and if they’re a good servant, they should work on not acting too resentful while they’re doing it. A good thought process…..might be “No one is going to die if I do things Master’s way.””

This is true for all service rendered by a sub to her Dom. And for me, in the daily-submissive-wife-things i typically do think this way. i often find myself thinking, “while this isn’t how i would do it, my way isn’t necessarily better or his worse even… so just do it his way and be ok with it.”

But when it comes to wanting to be “more” for sexual activities (read “sex-slave”), i ultimately want to have my entire sexual being become his play toy at any time or any place he wants. But David wants it a different way. And i need to be be ok with that. i need to learn to do it his way, which for me feels “less” than what i want to give and what i think he deserves. But at the end of the day, …..I never want to be the source of his disappointment or him having to figure out how to like what i want to give and let’s face it: “no one is going to die if i do things Master’s [David’s] way.”

i suppose most of this is common sense really, but it was also a lightbulb moment for me in that thinking of…. “of course that makes sense. It’s the best way for the D/s relationship to truly work in harmony”. That said, if it was ALL common sense for everyone, there wouldn’t be a need for the Book i am reading to have been written at all! Right??

Anyway…. i have realized my submissive wife homework is to become more in tune with:

1) is this service (any service, including sexual) something David wants or is it something i want him to want?

2) if it’s the latter, what would he want?

3) and if it’s the former, am i doing it in a way that’s fully pleasing to him?

i am really enjoying this book… maybe you should consider reading it too. It’s not just for subs either!

Hugs,

Marie